Prior to the start of the NBA Finals this past week, @NBA tweeted out this photo from the cover of The Oklahoman newspaper:

Undoubtedly, they chose their words correctly. Many predicted a Finals matchup between the Oklahoma City Thunder and Miami Heat in the preseason. Their star players, Kevin Durant and LeBron James, both led MVP-caliber campaigns and did not disappoint. The NBA Finals are, in fact, huge.

So why don’t I care?

The Thunder ran most of their opponents out of the building this year. As exciting as it is watching them play, it almost came to be expected. The Heat, on the other hand, are still battling some stigma of bleh stemming from their initial South Beach NWO formation and alliance. LeBron especially cannot shake the hatred from Joe Sports Fan after The Decision. I have even heard many Los Angeles Lakers fans actively cheering for the Boston Celtics just so they could see James and the Heat ousted. While I don’t necessarily agree with these individual power rankings, I certainly understand this “lesser of two evils” mentality.

So if you’re like me this postseason and just can’t get excited for the Finals, fear not. We can always log on to some sports betting sites and place a wager on Russell Westbrook‘s next post-game outfit.

For Laker fans everywhere, today was supposed to feel like Christmas. They were supposed to finally land Dwight Howard, a young PG and a Red Ryder BB Gun.

At first, everything seemed to be going well. The Lakers traded away Luke Walton and the contract from Hell to the Cavs along with a first pick for Ramon Sessions and Christian Eyenga. A great move, given that this gives the Lakers a point guard to effectively run their offense and shoot the ball for a few more years, instead of who they have starting there right now.

Who was that again?

Oh yeah, Derek Fisher.

Now here’s where the Lakers Christmas Story started to feel like they shot their eye out.

Why would the Lakers do this, they asked. What about loyalty, they cried. He can play on the bench, they pleaded.

Why did they do it? Derek Fisher is old and overpaid. He’s 37 going on 38 and he’s owed 3 million dollars next season guaranteed. He’s not going to start over Sessions and won’t play a back-up role on the bench behind Sessions and Steve Blake, who’s contract is up at the end of the season. Derek Fisher is too proud to take a behind the scenes role. The same thing happened in 2004 when Gary Payton and Karl Malone pushed Fisher to the bench. He got upset and signed with Golden State. When that didn’t work out he was moved to Utah and when the starting job on the Lakers opened back up, he signed with Los Angeles. So, it’s not highly likely that Fisher would have enjoyed sitting out the end of his career on the bench in Los Angeles. Especially when he seems to have more support amongst the players than Mike Brown, who has started to see results with the players in his system.

What do you do in a situation where you have something you have no use for and need to get rid of before it’s a problem?

You see what you can get for it. Luckily for the Lakers, they found a team stupid enough to take on an aging veteran with a big contract leaving a team that didn’t want him anymore. Worked for one of the other Dallas teams as well, if I remember correctly.

So they basically flipped Derek Fisher for a bench player and a first round pick in next year’s loaded draft while avoiding locker room turmoil? Seems like a good move.

As for the loyalty aspect? With an organization like the Lakers and a star player like Kobe Bryant, loyalty means nothing when it comes to winning.  Kobe has one thing like Jordan that I won’t ever argue with. Kobe would kill a guy to get a championship, even if it was his own teammate. Kobe doesn’t care who is on his team when he wins a championship, he just cares that he wins one.

Same with the Lakers and any professional sports franchise. It’s a business. When you become a liability, you’re dropped. Plain and simple. It’s not the way sports fans like to think about it, but it’s the truth. This isn’t an all-time great like Gretzky getting traded from Edmonton so the owner can get money. This is a player who the Lakers no longer have a use for and are moving on from.

Laker fans right now sound like the girlfriend who keeps getting back with her crappy boyfriend because “they have so many memories together.”

So many memories? Derek Fisher isn’t a Hall of Famer, not even close. He’s not even a shoe in to get his number retired. Look at who the Lakers have retired the numbers of. Magic, Kareem, Wilt, Elgin, West, and Goodrich. The only one who is questionable, would be Goodrich, until you realize he led the Lakers in scoring for 4 seasons.

Derek Fisher? He won 5 championships and played a “crucial” role on those teams. Really?

He was the 3rd best player behind Kobe and Shaq on the first three and the 4th best behind Kobe, Bynum, and Gasol on his last 2 championships.

The Lakers retire the numbers of All-Time greats. Players that transcended the franchise and were at the top of the league. All Fisher has going for him is 5 championships. Robert Horry has 7, and I don’t believe the Naismith Hall of Fame will be calling him any time soon.

Derek Fisher is a great leader and has a lot of knowledge about the sport. He’ll be a great coach someday, but he’s not going to be a great player right now, and that’s what the Lakers need at point guard.

This is a great move for the Lakers going forward. They are able to help build for the future, while trimming salary of a player they won’t use. Be thankful for the years you got with Fisher, Laker fans, and be even more thankful what he gave you on the way out. It could be a lot worse. You could be sitting here a year and a half from now with Kobe 2 years older, still with 5 rings and Derek Fisher retiring with you getting nothing for it except cap room.

Besides, this will all blow over once you start talking about getting Dwight Howard and Derron Williams next summer.

Alright welcome to:

Sports Tsar’s NCAA Mega First Round Preview Part 4: East Region!

Or as it’s better known:

THE REGION WITHOUT ANY PLAY-IN GAMES

Because you know, that makes sense for the committee or something… I don’t know, I’ve always felt like the last 8 teams in should be ranked the 8 lowest, you know, because they weren’t a conference champ and got an automatic entry. Anyways…

1 Syracuse vs 16 UNC-Asheville

When I was a kid, I knew that North Carolina grows a lot of tobacco. I thought that Asheville was because of all the ash trays. Turns out I was wrong. I don’t think Syracuse is winning this all, especially with their top big man (Fab Melo) out for grades. I know he has an easy major, because the Syracuse website doesn’t even list it. Which makes this so much worse… Syracuse is going to lose in this tourney, it’s just not going to be this match-up.

8 Kansas St vs 9 Southern Miss

I spent a lot of time worrying about this match-up, and when I say worrying, I mean realizing I barely know anything about these two big name schools. I pick Kansas St., but that’s more about the Big 12 than it is Kansas St.

5 Vanderbilt vs. 12 Harvard

Both these teams are at really academically prestigious schools, that’s why everyone is freaking out about it. Except only one of these schools is actually half decent at sports. And that school isn’t where they filmed Legally Blonde.

4 Wisconsin vs 13 Montana

I’m going with the Big Ten here, but that’s because the Buzz Cuts usually let me down when I pick them, and I’d love to see them lose to Montana.

6 Cincinnati vs 11 Texas

Don’t be fooled by Cincinnati’s tournament success, and don’t be fooled by the name Texas. It’s been awhile since Kevin Durant wore the burnt orange. I’ll take the Bearcats, because they’re a hotter team right now.

3 Florida St. vs 14 St. Bonaventure

Florida St. is scary good. St. Bonnie? Not scary good. Easy pick.

7 Gonzaga vs 11 West Virginia

You have to feel for Gonzaga here. Every year, they get sent across the country to play right in the backyards of their opponents. Good thing their opponent is West Virginia though.  They’re too busy getting the hell out of the Big East to be thinking about this one.

2 The Ohio State vs 15 Loyola (Md.)

Ohio State will probably blow it this year. They’re too streaky and Sullinger has been playing too timid. If Buford gets hot in this tourney, It’s tOSU’s to lose. If not, they’re not going to be dancing for long. I like that they put the “Md” after Loyola so we don’t confuse it with the one in Chicago. It doesn’t matter which Loyola it is, this one is over by halftime.

Here we are. It’s only Day 3. My brain hurts. The NCAA tournament makes less sense than when I started this endeavor. However, I must press on.

Here it is folks:

Sports Tsar’s NCAA Mega First Round Preview Part 3: Midwest Region!

Play-In Game:

16 Lamar vs. 16 Vermont

The winner of this game gets to play North Carolina, a sexy pick to win the tournament in the next round. Lamar famously had Coach Knight chewing out his seniors earlier in the year and since went on to win the Southland Conference and earn a bid to the NCAA tournament. But as Pat Knight would tell you “they’re still terrible and they’re going to get the shit kicked out of themselves.” Okay, I made that up but I guarantee it’s something along those lines. You gotta stick with what works.

8 Creighton vs. 9 Alabama

I like these kind of match-ups because you get a team that everyone should know versus a team that you shouldn’t think much about. Unfortunately for Alabama, they’re the latter. Creighton is a legitimately good team. They just sound like an Asian person with a heavy accent trying to say my first name. Still, to many, they’ll pick Alabama because Alabama is good at football and so you’d expect basketball to follow. Too bad Alabama has had more starting line-ups this season that GOP frontrunners.

Play-In Game:

12 California vs 12 USF

What does it say about your bracket when you have 2 play-in games? Seriously. You have to wonder what the committee was thinking here. It seems to just weaken the competition in this region. Maybe North Carolina is the committee’s pick. Who knows? VCU did make it to the Final Four last season despite playing in the play-in game. Plus, why is a Play-In game deciding a 12 seed? The last 8 teams in should play the play-in games for the 16 seeds in each region. The numbers do mean how good the team was right? Is Cal really better than SDSU, a 14 seed? I like the idea of play-in games, I just don’t think we have the process right yet.

Anyways, USF realistically isn’t that good. They play in the Big East and get a lot of credit for it, but beyond that, they didn’t beat a single ranked team beyond Louisville and are statistically atrocious. Cal has an easy path here but I have a feeling the committee is just giving the Pac-12 a little love. It’s like when the Big 12 only sent 1 team to the BCS and therefore got better bowl match-ups and a nice bowl record. It gives people a false idea of talent.

4 Michigan vs 13 Ohio

I’m not going to make a joke about Brady Hoke. I’m not going to make a joke about Brady Hoke. I’m not going to make a joke about Brady Hoke. I’m not going to make a joke about Bra-

BRADY HOKE WEARS SO MUCH SPRAY TANNER, HE MAKES JOHN BOEHNER LOOK LIKE AN ALBINO.

I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me. Michigan has a lot of talent, but I’m not sure they win this one easy. They seem to play well against big teams but have a hard time putting away some weird teams. I still think they win, I just think it might be a Gus Johnson moment. Oh wait, he’s not doing the tournament. We get Jim Nantz. You know, because he just exudes March Madness!

6 San Diego St vs 11 NC State

I’m not sure if this was clear in my Bowl column. NC State wins championships.

I think San Diego State wins this one and it’s honestly a credit to their coach, Steve Fisher. He had a lot of success at Michigan and has turned SDSU into a legitimate program. They lost a lot of talent and were able to make the tournament. Regardless of what happens, SDSU deserves a good hard looking going forward. It’s only a matter of time before they start getting recruits (SD is an awesome town) and competing on a national scale.

3 Georgetown vs 14 Belmont

I think Georgetown finally has a significant year. The bracket is set-up in their favor and they’re having a big year. I don’t mean to knock Belmont, I’ve just never heard of them

7 St. Mary’s vs 10 Purdue

I think it’s pretty cool how the WCC conference did this year. That being said I think it’s even cooler what Purdue has done. Plus, St. “Mary’s” that doesn’t sound intimidating at all!

2 Kansas vs 15 Detroit

If this was the Detriot Lions? Maybe I’d pick them. Detroit Pistons? Still not sure. All I know is that Kansas has been inconsistent all year with frustrating losses. Just none to a team like Detroit. Kansas goes on to the next round, and for the first time, I care.

It’s Day 2 of Sport’s Tsar’s NCAA Mega First Round Preview and on the docket is the West region. Let’s go ahead and hop on in.

1 Michigan St. vs. 16 Long Island U.

Yawn, boring. No 16 seed has ever beaten a 1 seed and we are all supposed to remember how great of a coach Tom Izzo is come March. This game was decided the second the committee scheduled it. Of course this is a pick for Michigan St., but it should be noted that Tom Izzo is also saying they’re fine despite being in a bracket 225 miles from home. I’m sure this match-up helped ease the pain.

8 Memphis vs 9 St Louis

Rick Marjerus has taken a team to the tournament for the first time since 2007. This is supposed to be a big fact and Sports Blog Law has demanded that I mention that at least once. Now to get to the serious matters at hand: have you seen Saint Louis’s logo? What the hell is a Billiken? I think it’s some kind of troll but I’m not sure. Are there a lot of trolls in the St. Louis area? I’m pretty confused. Memphis is going to lose this game, putting SLU in the spotlight and forcing them to explain what the hell is going on.

5 New Mexico vs. 12 Long Beach St.

Long Beach St. is my mid-major set to make a big splash this tournament. They’ve got an extremely underrated player in Casper Ware and a good group of seniors which seems to be a rare commodity in college basketball these days (Education Counts!). Also, their arena looks like the Luxor Hotel in Vegas. That has to count for something in March Madness.

4 Louisville vs 13 Davidson

Rick Pitino is pretty much a scumbag. That much is known. So we’ll define the entire Louisville team by that fact. Davidson on the other hand, is in its first tournament since Stephen Curry led them to the Elite Eight. Davidson won the Southern Conference this season and Louisville won the Big East tournament. Last team to win the Big East tournament? UConn, who went on to win a national title. Do you believe is destiny?

6 Murray State vs 11 Colorado St.

Murray State started the year 23-0 and were the big story in college basketball until losing to Tennessee St, a loss they later avenged in the Ohio Valley Conference tournament. The state of Colorado had a big year in basketball with both University of Colorado and Colorado St. making the tournament. Even Colorado School of Mines made it to the Central Region Final for NCAA Division II Men’s Basketball. Yes, it seems like things are looking up in the Centennial State. Heck, even Peyton Manning is rumored to be looking at signing with the Broncos. Something big is happening in Colorado, so I advise going to the nearest Sports Betting website and putting all the money you’ve ever owned on the Denver Barbarians of the Rugby Super League to win the Division II Rugby 7′s title this year. It’s a lock.

Play-in Game: BYU vs. Iona

It was considerate of the selection committee to place BYU in this region with the play-in game. Under this set-up, the BYU players won’t have to  be 27 year old grown men with families play on Sunday. I don’t think it’s going to matter though. I’ve got Iona. Iona scores a lot of points. And if I learned anything from BYU last year, the only person allowed to shoot is Jimmer Freddette, who currently plays for the Sacramento Kings of the NBA. Going to be pretty difficult for Mr. Freddette to be shooting EVERY shot he sees for both teams but then again, I’ll never underestimate the power of Mormons.

7 Florida vs. 10 Virginia

I don’t really know how good Florida is. I didn’t know that Virginia plays basketball until this column. Both teams have been dealing with a lot of injuries, so this one is up in the air. I really don’t want to pick a team but I guess Florida because when I went to Florida, I got to go to Disneyworld and Kennedy Space Center. In Virginia, I went to a tourist attraction that still thinks we live in the colonial times. Oh, and the woman was using poop to fix her walls. Mickey Mouse beats Poop Decor any day of the week.

2 Missouri vs 15 Norfolk St.

I really can’t stand the SEC chants from the Missouri fans. You don’t start raving about your new girlfriend to your ex-girlfriend. Unless you’re a big enough of a douche bag to make a rap song about yourselves utilizing more auto-tune that a T-Pain/Ke$ha mixtape. Oh wait, Missouri IS that douche bag! Seriously, you don’t see SEC schools doing that. Oh wait. You know what SEC and Missouri? You deserve each other.

That’s it for the West. Tomorrow I’ll bring the Midwest Region, featuring Kansas, one of the 3 teams I watched this season!

It’s finally here: The NCAA Tournament Brackets were released today and March Madness sports coverage is in full swing. Over at SI, Luke Winn asks the big questions. On the World Wide Leader, Eamonn Brennan beats a dead horse uses the metaphor of a “road” to describe the tournament. Yahoo’s Pat Forde just barely keeps his Missouri bias in check for his column. And HuffPo Sports? They’re writing about soccer and how kids like to play it.

JOURNALISM!

So while the whole world of sports journalism spins around in search of any possible angle to cover of the NCAA tournament, what is there for poor Sports Tsar?

The only thing Sports Tsar knows how to do:

I’m going to give you a completely biased run down of every single match up in the NCAA tournament. As with football, it’s not about “scores” or “points” or “defense” or “what probably will happen,” this is going to be about my gut instincts. That being said, here’s a rundown of every college basketball game I watched this season in one sentence:

“Mostly Ohio State, Kansas to see if I could see my sister in the crowd, some Pac-12 stuff, and I think I might have paid attention to the Big West Championship game.”

Not what those in the industry would call “a lot” but I watched enough to not make the mistake of attending the Pac-12 tourney at Staples Center. Seriously, turning on Sportscenter for one minute would have given enough indication that it wasn’t worth their time. But still, they showed up …all 6,747 of them…

So in the immortal words of Chief Jurassic Park Engineer John Raymond Arnold, hold on to your butts:

Ed. Note: I’ll make my predictions for match-ups involving the winners of play-in games after those match-ups are decided. But seriously, do I need to? Lamar is this year’s worst group of seniors and general terrible human beings Cinderellas, baby!

I’ll be rolling these out, region by region as we lead up to the start of the tournament on the 15th. Today, we’ll start with the South Region.

The South region in interesting because if you look at the bracket, it’s location is ACTUALLY in the Northwest corner of the bracket. This just astounds me how the NCAA could get this SO wrong.

SOUTH REGION –

Play-In Game

Mississippi Valley St vs Western Kentucky University

I’m going to go with Mississippi Valley St. here. The term “play-in” works well here because I have absolutely no idea which conference either team “plays-in.” See what I did there? Almost as clever as my brother’s Mississippi joke:

“If I was Governor of Mississippi, I’d make the state motto: “ONE MISSISSIPPI” because it sounds strong and only takes one second to say.”

And that is the most anyone will say about this match-up.

8 Iowa St vs 9 Connecticut

Both these teams aren’t very good at shooting free throws. So let’s hope that one of these teams doesn’t start fouling a bunch at the end of the game. It will be very hard to watch. I’ll take Iowa St. because I think their hot shot freshman, Royce White, is going to go off, prompting the “should he leave early” (he shouldn’t) debates.

5 Wichita St. vs 12 VCU

This is a tough call because it combines my mom’s favorite movie (Planes, Trains, and Automobiles) and I think my mom’s favorite song from the 80′s. The connection being “Welcome to Wichita” and Shaka Smart, head coach of VCU, has a name that sounds like Chaka Khan who sang “I Feel For You,” which most people don’t know was a song originally by Prince. Wichita St. is going to try and make it (Purple) Rain on VCU but I believe that the Rams with play the car rental agent to the Shockers’ Neal Page. (VCU’s defense will shut them down.)

4 Indiana vs 13 New Mexico St.

Indiana is the Hoosiers, no one else can claim that. There are literally 25 colleges in the NCAA nicknamed the “Aggies” and New Mexico St. isn’t even the best one. Indiana in a walk.

6 UNLV vs 11 Colorado

Colorado is the only team to make it out of the Pac-12 this season that earned it. And by “earned it,” I mean that they won their conference tournament so “technically” they are given a spot but in all reality there shouldn’t be any teams at all from the Pac-12 Conference in this bracket.

What is the point of hosting a conference tournament? I understand a championship game, but a tournament makes no sense from a competitive viewpoint. The regular season champion of the Pac-12 (Washington) didn’t even make the NCAA tournament after being bounced in the first round of the conference tournament. Even then, they weren’t supposed to be the best team in the conference. That honor is supposed to go to Cal, who got blown out in the second round of the conference tourney by Colorado. Who then went on to beat Arizona (a team pronounced dead in the water following the regular season) in the conference final. Both teams made the tournament.

The conference tournament system benefits teams from big name conferences with weak resumes because it creates national TV matches against schools with well-known names. In all reality, UCLA is not that good this year. Yet, to voters in the polls (most of which don’t watch many games), UCLA is still considered a powerhouse in NCAA basketball. Many of them still think that John Wooden is coaching Lew Alcindor, bread costs a nickel and that this young Adolph Hitler character “seems like a pretty nice young fellow.” They don’t see that UCLA recently got wasted (mind the pun) in Sports Illustrated and wasn’t even the best team in Los Angeles this season. They just see that teams from the Pac-12 like Oregon, Washington, Arizona, and California beat a team who used to be good and react accordingly.

The Pac-12 had a down year and deserved one bid at most. Yet, due to the tournament, a team like Arizona was able to play its way in (despite not really beating anyone significant) and we’re not even supposed to question it.

That being said, Colorado is going to win and make everything I just wrote pointless.

3 Baylor vs 14 San Diego St.

If Baylor accidentally leaves a highlighter in their pocket when they wash their uniforms again, expect it to be the biggest thing in uniform news until Nike Oregon realizes that they’re not being talked about, and goes full retard/releases clear helmets. Baylor will win this, but I’m not sure why. I think it has to do with Robert Griffin III (RIP the next 10 years of the Washington Redskins) more than anyone realizes.

7 Notre Dame vs 10 Xavier

This is a classic case of a big conference team (Notre Dame) just happy to make the tournament against a legitimate mid-major contender who won their conference (Xavier). Remember, Xavier was ranked as high as 9th this season and despite have a lull, have corrected the ship and ride a lot of momentum. A lot of times, it’s not the best teams in the tourney, but the hot ones. Xavier fits the mold and wins this game in a classic “not really an upset but it’s Notre Dame so we’ll say it anyways” games (See: Anytime Notre Dame plays anyone in anything).

2 Duke v 15 Lehigh

I hate Duke and therefore will predict them to lose every game in this tournament. Just add “and Duke loses too” to the end of every prediction for these columns and you get a general feel for what I think. I’d explain my distaste for Duke, but I’m not one for preaching to the choir. No one’s on the other side of this issue, much like all this KONY 2012 stuff popping up on the internet these days.

And now we wait for those users who search for KONY 2012 to just start pouring in…

Tune in tomorrow for continued Sports Tsar Coverage of the NCAA Tournament with a Preview of the first round in the West Region.

You got tired of waiting for ST's bowl picks, and Nick Saban did too.

When it comes to watching college football, I’m not going to lie. I don’t watch every game. Not even close. Do you know how many games there are? Millions* (*There are not actually a million college football games per season) So the best I can do is just give you quick rapid fire judgements of who I think will win each game. Are they biased? You betcha. Should you take these to Vegas with you? Don’t betcha.

So anyways, as promised, here are Sports Tsar’s 2011-2012 Biased Bowl Season Picks!

Gildan New Mexico Bowl
Wyoming vs. Temple

I’m going to go ahead and pick Wyoming. I mean seriously, have you seen their logo? How fun does that look? I’m on board.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Ohio vs. Utah State

At first I was going to pick Utah State, but then I remembered this video of the Ohio players when they found out they got black alternate uniforms. Can you imagine how they’d react if they won the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl? A party to last the ages. Until they realized that when Brady Hoke kept saying “Ohio” he was just referring to Ohio State. But hey, at least you’re not Kent State, right?

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
San Diego State vs. Louisiana-Lafayette

Rule number 1 of bowl picks: If there is a bowl game in Louisiana, you always pick the team that has Louisiana in its name. It is written.

Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl
Florida International vs. Marshall

This bowl game just sounds gross. I don’t know why. There’s just no way I could look at this bowl game and say “oh, this should be fun.” I’m picking Marshall only because of the movie. This pick’s for Matthew Fox.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
TCU vs. Louisiana Tech

TCU beat THE Boise State University this season. Um, can you say JUGGERNAUT?

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl
Arizona State vs. Boise State

Arizona State doesn’t have a coach, and I think the bowl organizers are much happier to have the Sun Devils here than BYU as they’ve had in years past. That being said, the kids from the great state of Boise will win this one, easy. The real pick is how many trick plays. The over/under on that is 2.5.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Nevada vs. Southern Miss

Yes, Southern Miss beat Houston this season, much like Nevada beat Boise State last year. I’m giving the nod to Nevada for 2 reasons: 1) My buddy Leif is from Reno, and told me to pick Nevada. 2) Nevada has the experience of beating overrated mid-majors. Southern Miss is new to the whole scene and will suffer a “post-ruining any chance of ruining the BCS” hangover.

AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl
Missouri vs. North Carolina

Do I have to pick this one? I do? Oh, jeez… I dunno. I’ll take Missouri, I guess.

Little Caesars Bowl
Western Michigan vs. Purdue Boilermakers

Purdue. I believe in their backfield of 2 runningbacks named Akeem. If you go back 22 years ago, Coming to America was released. I don’t want to accuse their parents of naming their kids after a character in an Eddie Murphy movie, but I’m accusing their parents of naming their kids after a character in an Eddie Murphy movie.

Belk Bowl
Louisville vs. NC State

NC State, because if there’s anything worse than the ACC, it’s the Big East. Or something called “Belk.” I don’t care what the product is, that’s a terrible name for a company.

Military Bowl Presented by Northrop Grumman
Toledo vs. Air Force

My dad went to law school at Toledo and he can throw a pretty mean spiral. Plus, shouldn’t the Air Force be off, I don’t know, being the Air Force?

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl
Cal vs. Texas

Both coaches need this one really badly. I can’t stand Tedford. I’m going with Texas. I want Tedford gone.

Champs Sports Bowl
Florida State vs. Notre Dame

The winner of this game starts next season in the top-5 because I mean, that’s what you do with the Champs Sports Bowl champion, right? This hurts to say, but Notre Dame because they just lost a problem quarterback (Dayne Crist). A la Denver Broncos and Kyle Orton, anyone? It’s Tommy Rees-Time!

Valero Alamo Bowl
Washington vs. Baylor

Robert Griffin III has Superman socks! Superman socks! How cool is that? Almost as cool as winning a Heisman over Andrew Luck! Baylor wins this one.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
BYU vs. Tulsa

Tulsa, and this is not because I have to answer the door for Mormon missionaries every day, I swear.

New Era Pinstripe Bowl
Rutgers vs Iowa St.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know that Rutgers kept playing football after Ray Rice left. Iowa St.?

Franklin American Mortgage Music CIty Bowl
Mississippi State vs. Wake Forest

Mississippi State wins. Wake Forest goes back to being a soccer school, I think.

Insight Bowl
Iowa vs. Oklahoma

I’m going to go with Iowa. I’m not an Oklahoma fan. Or an Iowa fan. But I am a fan of Iowa grad and proud American Ricky Stanzi.

Side Note: What kind of question is that for a post-game interview? On stage in front of the crowd? You ask him about the team and how hard they work, not what he thinks of America. It’s just an awkward moment, but Ricky doesn’t flinch just like our colors don’t run. Rick Stanzi, American hero.

Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas
Texas A&M vs. Northwestern

Texas A&M is a school that should be in the SEC in every other sport but football. Northwestern is a team that shouldn’t have any sports. That being said, is Dan Persa still playing? I’ll take Northwestern.

Hyundai Sun Bowl
Georgia Tech vs Utah

Utah lost the ultra-competitive Pac-12 South division in the final week. When I say competitive, I mean as competitive as a race to the bottom can get. I’ll take Georgia Tech.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Cincinnati vs Vanderbilt

I wanted to pick Vanderbilt because they’re SEC, then I realized they’re a bunch of NERDS! I’ll take the Bearcats, because that city is going to need something to fill the hole that missing the playoffs will leave in their heart.

Chick-fil-A Bowl
Virginia vs. Auburn

Auburn. No team to win the national championship has gone on to lose it’s bowl game the next year*.

*I just made this up.

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl
Illinois vs UCLA

I’m going to say Illinois. But what I really want to say is that I wish this was a basketball game from like 8 years ago. Definitely not one from right now.

TicketCity Bowl
Houston vs. Penn State

Houston, because EVERYBODY is rooting for Houston (against Penn St.).

Outback Bowl
Michigan St vs Georgia

Two teams that both lost their conference championship games. Michigan State lost by closer so they’re totally better right?

Capital One Bowl
Nebraska vs. South Carolina

I’m going to pick for the stadium to explode and neither one of these teams to win. But you know who does? Us.

Taxslayer.com Gator Bowl
The Ohio State vs. Florida

I’m taking THE Ohio State University because we have Urban Meyer now and Florida doesn’t. Na na na na na na.

Rose Bowl Game Presented by Vizio
Wisconsin vs. Oregon

I’m taking Wisconsin. I was never convinced that Oregon was that great. Mostly because I never saw them play that well. Mostly because I don’t like watching teams beat down on FCS opponents like “Washington St.” and “Colorado.” Seriously, where do they find these schools?

Tositos Fiesta Bowl
Stanford vs Oklahoma St

Insert pun about Luck running out. Then, insert harsh reality that Stanford’s defense isn’t very good. Oklahoma St. but very, very, very angrily.

Allstate Sugar Bowl
Michigan vs. Virginia Tech

I’m picking Michigan, but that’s only because I’m picking against Virginia Tech.

Discover Orange Bowl
West Virginia vs Clemson

This would be a pretty okay regular season game, but instead it’s a BCS game. I’ll go with Clemson, because they won their conference championship game and apparently that’s supposed to mean something.

AT&T Cotton Bowl
Kansas St vs. Arkansas

Kansas St. was a genuine story of the year. Arkansas was the “oh, right, they’re playing well” team of the year. I’ll take Kansas St.

BBVA Compass Bowl
SMU vs Pittsburgh

There’s championship experience, and then there’s BBVA Compass Bowl experience. SMU has neither and Pittsburgh at least has BBVA Compass Bowl experience. I’ll take Pitt.

GoDaddy.com Bowl
Arkansas St. vs. Northern Illinois

I’m picking the commercials to suck and Arkansas St to win.

Allstate BCS National Championship Game
Alabama vs. LSU

This may sound wild, but I think LSU could beat Alabama 9-6. Wait, that already happened? So why are they playing again? We already know who’s better. Maybe Nick Saban has more friendly angles for the cameras than Mike Gundy. LSU, BIG.

Apple changed the way phones are made. The Miami Heat are changing the way we make basketball teams.

Every year, Apple comes out with a new product, a new something. There’s certain factors associated with the event that occur without fail, every time. They’re as followed:

1) In the weeks, and sometimes months, leading up to the event, the 24 hour news cycle covers hundreds of stories covering every facet of the new product.

2) There’s a huge event held by Apple celebrating the greatness of their product.

3) There is the public outcry both in favor and against the product following it’s release.

These 3 steps have happened in the life cycle of every Apple product from the first iPod to the recently unveiled iPhone 4S. It will continue to happen, too.

Now, I want you to ask yourself. To which other event do this list sound familiar? I’ll give you a minute. Here’s some clues for those that still don’t get it.

1) http://voices.yahoo.com/where-will-lebron-james-go-2010-6058806.html

2) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTeCc8jy7FI & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmwJipHdqpA

3) http://ihatelebronjames.com/ & http://clublebron.com

It’s exactly what happened when Lebron James joined the Heat. From the moment Lebron signed his last contract in Cleveland, every news story about him in some way referenced his plans as a free agent in 2010. It’s the same way that as soon as the iPhone 4S was announced, you could read an article about the iPhone 5. The decision was held to gain widespread noticed and a pep rally to debut the new product (The Big Three) was held shortly after for even more coverage. Steve Jobs was known for his Apple Keynotes, and don’t think that because of his death that Apple will change their routine. They will continue to captivate the public every year with a presentation of their latest work. And finally, there have been countless reactions written about Lebron James and the Heat since. Just as you can find about the latest Apple offering on any news website.

Now, I understand that there are many people with very strong opinions on both sides of this argument. At one point, I remember I used to question the idea of Apple. I was happy using my Sony laptop and my Motorola flip phone. I couldn’t imagine needing an Apple product. However, as those products broke down, I eventually bought a Macbook and an iPhone. All I can say is this: I have never been happier with any other product as I have been with my products from Apple. I think Apple is head and shoulders above most other electronics companies. I’m sure many people can argue the other side and that there are other options, but they can’t argue this: Apple products work. We can point out the things that it cannot do, but as we’ve seen in the past, those problems often times go away. It was recently established that Adobe will no longer be developing flash for phones. The lack of using flash (the engine behind many internet videos and animations) was one of the biggest knocks against Apple’s iPhone and iPad. But eventually, Apple was proven right.

I bring this back to the Miami Heat. It may seem awkward to be writing a Lebron article more than a year after the fact, and I would agree with you until I saw this headline this morning: “Los Angeles Lakers looking to work out deals for both Chris Paul and Dwight Howard.”

Now before you compare the merits of a trade to free agency, remember this: Dwight Howard has long been rumored to want to play in LA and Chris Paul’s agent has already requested a trade from the New Orleans Hornets. This is not teams trying to dump problem players. These are team with expiring superstar contracts trying to get something in return so they’re not left with nothing (example: the Magic after Shaq left). It’s smart business on the part of the owners, but by no means would they chose to trade either player under normal circumstances.

Understandably, Laker fans are ecstatic. Many are already declaring the Lakers as champions on the 2012 season.

But wait a second, to get players like Chris Paul and Dwight Howard, the Lakers are going to have to give up a lot of players. Essentially, almost their entire line-up with the exception of Kobe Bryant. I thought that a team of three superstars, in this case: Paul, Howard, and Kobe, couldn’t win a title. That was the rallying cry of angry NBA fans from everywhere outside of the 305 and 786 area codes. But guess what the Miami Heat proved this past season? It works.

The Miami Heat last season were able to make it to the Finals in their first year of playing with each other. Teams that didn’t make it? The Lakers, Spurs, Celtics, Bulls, Thunder, and others. Teams where teamwork is stressed along with depth. Teams that have been playing with each other for years. Yes, the Heat lost the title to a great, deep team in the Mavericks, but to make the Finals in the first year of a generally new line-up? That, is success by any stretch of the imagination.

Yes, the attitude among the Heat was that they were going to win a title, they even declared as much. But to be honest, if someone asked you if you’d win the championship in your respective sport, what would you say? If you say that you’re going to win, and you do anything but, you will hear nothing but how big of a failure your team was. But if you say you’ll lose, you’ll be called a quitter and non-competitive. It’s a lose-lose situation.The bar for the Heat was set higher than any other team in the league before their first practice together.

Do you think that Spurs fans would have taken an appearance in the Finals over their first round exit? Of course.

To say that making the NBA Finals and losing is a failure of a season is not only dishonest, but a understatement of the difficulty required to make it to that level. If this was the case, the lottery bound Sacramento Kings had just as successful of a season as the Miami Heat. Don’t be silly.

Look at the moves of the New York Knicks in acquiring both Amare Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony. Look at their attempts at signing another player like Paul. You don’t think that they believe in the 3 superstar-system? Look at an iPhone side-by-side with every other smartphone released on the market. Look at the shape and the icons. You don’t think the other companies see the value in what Apple has done?

You can complain about the price of Apple products. You can complain about the Decision. You can celebrate every shortcoming, despite how impossibly high the bar is set. But you can’t argue with how the product works. You may have your phone and be happy with it. You may also be constantly complaining about the latest offering from Apple and the people celebrating its release who are seemingly able to throw mountains of money away, but you can’t argue with a fact we’ve known all along:

If you were in the same position they were, you’d do it too.

For those who haven’t noticed, this evening we were met with the first sign of the holiday season. No, not snowfall on the ground, or holiday cups at Starbucks! The American Institution that is the ESPN COLLEGE FOOTBALL BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES COUNTDOWN SELECTION SHOW PRESENTED BY ALLSTATE INSURANCE! For those who were too busy to watch, here’s a recap:

I’m not sure if you remember, but this off-season the big talk in the world of college athletics was conference expansion. Among many things deemed essential by the NCAA (increased revenue), the big hoopla was that it would find out who truly was the “champion” of each conference and allow better match-ups in the BCS. Well, it turns out that out of all the conference championship games played this past weekend, none of them affected the national title game!

In fact, by virtue of sitting on their bottoms and playing video games this past week, the Alabama Crimson Tide will be getting their much deserved rematch against LSU in the BCS title game! But that’s not all folks! Look at the other match-ups we are being treated to this bowl season:

Gildan New Mexico Bowl
Wyoming vs. Temple

A bowl game so boring, even New Mexico didn’t feel motivated enough to win 5 more games and make it.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Ohio vs. Utah State

For being such a famous bowl game, you’d think they could get better teams than the runner-up in the MAC and a team that couldn’t even win the WAC.

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
San Diego State vs. Louisiana-Lafayette

ULL’s QB tied Jake Delhomme’s school record for TDs in a season (20). Interpret that as you will.

Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl
Florida International vs. Marshall

The Golden Panthers tied pre-season contender Florida State for most wins by a team from Florida this year. If only this bowl could have gotten the other match-up. Florida State plays against the Fighting Irish while FIU plays in a bowl sponsored by an Irish themed restaurant that serves tacos.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
TCU vs. Louisiana Tech

With the loss of Andy Dalton to the NFL, TCU was able to tackle such opposition as Portland State and New Mexico on it’s way to a bowl game against WAC champion Louisiana Tech. Can the Horned Frogs sustain the momentum?

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl
Arizona State vs. Boise State

The Broncos look to increase their case for national relevance by beating a 6-6 ASU team that fired it’s coach and was unable to best 6-7 UCLA for the Pac-12 South Division title.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Nevada vs. Southern Miss

Am I the only one who wonders why they don’t put a period at the end of “Miss”? I don’t know, I just get an image of a southern debutante whenever I hear their name.

AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl
Missouri vs. North Carolina

Missouri is headed to the SEC this season and given their record this year, this bowl might be their last shot at winning a game in a very, very long time. North Carolina won the bowl bid for this game after Miami graciously turned down the bowl game this year out of the kindness of their heart. The lack of bowl revenue should put a large enough dent in Miami’s abortions and strippers budget to prompt the NCAA to lessen the punishment at their hearing.

Little Caesars Bowl
Western Michigan vs. Purdue Boilermakers

The Western Michigan Broncos earned one win this season against an opponent from an Automatic-Qualifying conference in their victory over UConn which prompted many around the country to take note and wonder, “Why does the Big East get an automatic BCS bid?”

Belk Bowl
Louisville vs. NC State

NC State was able to make a bowl game despite losing quarterback Russell Wilson to Wisconsin this summer. Because if you don’t like Raleigh, NC, the only logical place to move to is Madison Wisconsin.

Military Bowl Presented by Northrop Grumman
Toledo vs. Air Force

You can talk all you want about the military wasting money on fighter jets and other items, but how much longer are we going to tolerate funding football teams from Army, Air Force, and Navy? When will the madness end?

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl
Cal vs. Texas

With the Niners, Raiders, and Stanford all playing well this year, the Cal Bears have found themselves as the worst football team in the San Francisco Bay Area, a feat that is much more difficult than you think it would be.

Champs Sports Bowl
Florida State vs. Notre Dame

Lou Holtz has already declared the winner of this game to be the national champion.

Valero Alamo Bowl
Washington vs. Baylor

Heisman hopeful Robert Griffin III looks to lead the upstart Bears into a match-up against a team that declares a 7-5 season after a 6-6 season to be progress.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
BYU vs. Tulsa

Not to be confused with the Military Bowl, a team coached by a man named Bronco will try to defeat a team from the middle of Oklahoma nicknamed the Hurricanes.

New Era Pinstripe Bowl
Rutgers vs Iowa St.

Rutgers couldn’t even beat UConn to clinch the Big East title, Iowa State edged out Northern Iowa by 1 point to start the season. You’re telling me an organization that seemingly paid CC Sabathia 1 million dollars per pinstripe chose these two teams? Actually, that sounds about right.

Franklin American Mortgage Music CIty Bowl
Mississippi State vs. Wake Forest

“Yes MSU might be a 6-6 team, but they went 6-6 in the SEC! That’s worth at least 23-0 in the Big Ten!”
-Mark May

Insight Bowl
Iowa vs. Oklahoma

The University of Oklahoma prefers to go by OU and still employs Bob Stoops. If you were in charge at Oklahoma which problem would you solve first.

Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas
Texas A&M vs. Northwestern

Not to be confused with that OTHER Meineke Car Care Bowl. That one might be worth watching…

Hyundai Sun Bowl
Georgia Tech vs Utah

Utah ranks 110th in the country in the offense and is no way touching the Pacific Ocean making many wonder why they heck they were added to the Pac-12.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Cincinnati vs Vanderbilt

Cincinnati started 7-1 and ended 9-3. Ladies and Gentlemen, your Big East Co-Champions!

Chick-fil-A Bowl
Virginia vs. Auburn

One year after a perfect season, the Auburn Tigers attempt to win a game named after a sandwich consisting of fried chicken and a pickle.

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl
Illinois vs UCLA

Illinois started 6-0 and finished 6-6. UCLA is heading to a bowl game with a losing record, yet won their division in the Pac-12. I’ve got a feeling we’ll be fighting boredom.

TicketCity Bowl
Houston vs. Penn State

This match-up of a near BCS-buster and the proud Penn State alums will do wonders for the economy of TicketCity. Wait, TicketCity isn’t a real place? Why do they get a bowl game?

Outback Bowl
Michigan St vs Georgia

Last year Michigan St rode a 10 win season into a 49-7 beat down at the hands of Alabama. Following another 10-win season, Michigan St is in prime position to get blown out again.

Capital One Bowl
Nebraska vs. South Carolina

The consensus pre-season favorite to win the Big 10 and end world hunger finds itself in the highlight game of Capital One Bowl week against a team whose nickname is consistently chosen as the favorite of 10 year old boys everywhere.

Taxslayer.com Gator Bowl
The Ohio State vs. Florida

Ohio State plays Florida in a game that most commentators on ESPN will fail to realize will be coached by Luke Fickell, not Urban Meyer. But hey, in a 24 hour news cycle, you have to find something to talk about. Also, Taxslayer.com? How nerdy can accountants get?

Rose Bowl Game Presented by Vizio
Wisconsin vs. Oregon

In his last game of his long and storied tenure at Wisconsin, Russell Wilson leads the Badgers into a match-up against a school that continues to forget their own school colors.

Tositos Fiesta Bowl
Stanford vs Oklahoma St

Oklahoma St will look to avoid a let down after winning their conference title and being looked over for a team that didn’t even play in their conference championship game. Stanford is led by a quarterback most pick to be number 1 overall come the NFL draft due to dominance over local rivals Cal and San Jose State. This one’s for all the Tostitos.

Allstate Sugar Bowl
Michigan vs. Virginia Tech

It might surprise many people to see Michigan in a BCS game instead of the Michigan State team that beat them earlier in the season, and played in the Big 10 championship game. But then again, if Michigan wins this game against Virginia Tech (a team that is coming off a blowout loss in the ACC Championship Game) and Michigan St loses their match-up against Georgia, the BCS will look like geniuses for setting up this match-up. Meanwhile, Kansas St and their number 8 ranking are left out.

Discover Orange Bowl
West Virginia vs Clemson

I can already see the commercial for the ESPN 30 for 30 about this game:

“One of them won the Big East, one of the teams won the ACC. What if I told you that the number 15 team and number 23 teams played each other in a BCS game? The Toilet Bowl, Directed by Joe Smith, Presented by ESPN Films 30 for 30.”

AT&T Cotton Bowl
Kansas St vs. Arkansas

This actually should be a great game. It’s only a shame we couldn’t find somewhere to put the number 6 and 8 teams in the country in the BCS line-up. Oh well…

BBVA Compass Bowl
SMU vs Pittsburgh

This will be the second year in a row for Pitt in the BBVA Compass bowl, possibly leading to Pitt fans to find out what BBVA Compass actually is.

GoDaddy.com Bowl
Arkansas St. vs. Northern Illinois

I know on paper this may seem like a boring match-up but I hear that they have unrated material from the game online that’s supposed to be cuh-razy.

Allstate BCS National Championship Game
Alabama vs. LSU

If Alabama was to hypothetically beat LSU 9-6, who would you crown the national champion? Fun fact: Alabama will have 45 days between it’s last game (an Iron Bowl win against Auburn) and the BCS title game. Or as it’s more commonly known, one Kardashian marriage.

Seems like we’re in for a treat. Stay tuned for my completely biased and baseless picks to be posted later this week.

Does  the name LeBron James on a Miami Heat jersey look odd? Would anyone ever actually buy a Chicago Bulls jersey featuring Carlos Boozer? Not sure which new NBA jersey to buy now that the big flurry of superstar movement has ended?

Well, if you just became a Cleveland Cavaliers fan thanks to owner Dan GIlbert, look no further than this:

The only thing topping the power of the letter was the font used: none other than comic sans. Apparently so versatile it can be used for all letter-writing occasions, from chain to angry.