tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34759958408300838222011-11-27T17:02:33.980-08:00mirandanoreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-6466162434113000272010-04-26T20:39:00.000-07:002010-04-26T21:16:20.764-07:002010-04-26T21:16:20.764-07:00

The sister and I took a bed frame to Goodwill. A 'captain's bed' to be exact: essentially a nicely put together wooden box, with drawers underneath and a lip for a twin mattress. Quite popular for the kiddies for a while. A small crew of Goodwill dudes met us at the furniture drop-off. Furniture dude 1 looks it over: "What is it?"Me: "A bed"FD1: "Hold on". He goes inside.While we wait in the rain

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-19786052129656000272010-03-22T18:49:00.000-07:002010-03-22T18:52:54.106-07:002010-03-22T18:52:54.106-07:00

Saryglarlar Maidens via SixDegreesRecords

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-18589997723203458602010-03-11T23:01:00.000-08:002010-03-11T23:28:08.438-08:002010-03-11T23:28:08.438-08:00

1. Naps come first.2. If I like it I will eat it. All of it.3. Sex is more important than work.

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-14101760285605584262010-03-02T17:25:00.000-08:002010-03-02T17:42:12.325-08:002010-03-02T17:42:12.325-08:00

Wounds taste salty. So I'm working very hard to stop licking them.The idea of dating makes me sick, physically sick. But I'll do it anyway because my sorrow, MY GREAT, GRAND, NEVER-ENDING, MOTHERFUCKING MELANCHOLIC SORROW is dull. Crying is dull. I would like love without pain please. And also a giant lion robot that shoots lasers out his eyes. And an elephant.Until then I chain smoke, write

mirandanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-82052737881617657982010-03-01T22:27:00.000-08:002010-03-01T22:47:56.943-08:002010-03-01T22:47:56.943-08:00

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-114023209128504212010-02-18T14:29:00.000-08:002010-02-18T14:47:46.595-08:002010-02-18T14:47:46.595-08:00

1. Playing in a rock band (inability)2. Buying and working a tobacco farm in Cuba (impracticality)3. Having 3+ children (inability, impracticality)4. Puppeteering for Henson (inability)5. Receiving satisfactory love/attention from romantic partner/s (impracticality)6. Owning an elephant (Asian or African) (impracticality)

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-84275329222792232322009-12-27T22:06:00.000-08:002009-12-27T22:19:36.153-08:002009-12-27T22:19:36.153-08:00

Let the millionaire walk naked, stark naked!Disgrace for whoever builds his death bed with treasures!A world for whoever greets;an armchair for whoever sows in the sky;sobbing for whoever finishes what he makes, keeping the beginnings;let the spur-wearer walk;no duration for the wall on which another wall is not growing;give to the wretched all his wretchedness,bread, to whoever laughs;let the

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-5504483938944248562009-12-20T23:52:00.000-08:002009-12-21T00:07:17.744-08:002009-12-21T00:07:17.744-08:00

It's like dog-sitting. Only you can't put them in a cage and they outlive you.

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-46424439806980758312009-12-16T23:08:00.000-08:002009-12-16T23:08:43.225-08:002009-12-16T23:08:43.225-08:00

1. Dogs (strange)2. Ghosts3. Electrocution (of self: frequent)4. Being followed up a stairwell 4a. Being followed down a stairwell5. The closed eyes of someone asleep in a dark room6. Ticks in my underwear/eyes7. Ectopic pregnancy (self)8. Geese/large ducks/possibly peacocks9. Paranoid schizophrenia (self only)10. Things that hover 11. Death (loved ones only)12. Fainting in line at the bank13.

mirandanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-25657938970121223062009-12-06T23:29:00.000-08:002009-12-06T23:42:48.830-08:002009-12-06T23:42:48.830-08:00

Once in Brooklyn as I was leaving the apartment building of a man I didn't love very much a small older man in a snappy long coat walked out onto the sidewalk with me. It was December and cold but not freezing and the air was high, kind of ionized and gusty and it took both of our breaths away. He smiled at me and sort of roared. "This" he said buttoning his gorgeous coat, "is a day for tigers".

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-62630042606946344982009-12-05T21:23:00.000-08:002009-12-05T21:59:14.055-08:002009-12-05T21:59:14.055-08:00

Things I do to combat the crazy* when the crazy comes on**:1. Chain-smoke cigarettes.2. Lie on the floor with Lucy.3. Drive around chain-smoking.*For those of you unfamilar with clinical depression the crazy is (in my case anyway) a gut-kicking sense of loneliness, unbearable floating grief and a painful, monster anxiety that something really really really important has been left undone.**

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-62184376098862857652009-12-03T22:07:00.000-08:002009-12-03T22:48:20.291-08:002009-12-03T22:48:20.291-08:00

I have this trouble with loving people. It's not hard, not hard at all, for me to love people. It's easy. SUPER easy. Easy like Sunday morning. Easy like saying 'yes'. Easy like breathing. I love like breathing: it's there, and I do. Because I'm a lazy bastard overly fond of touching and holding and kissing and that feeling you get in the belly when you're looking a friend in the eye and they're

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-72354201301554561102009-11-18T12:09:00.000-08:002009-11-18T12:19:59.911-08:002009-11-18T12:19:59.911-08:00

That's how long it's been. I was buying a house, a terrible protracted process that much like childbearing I would recommend to absolutely no one excepting masochists. I'm in. As in it's mine, I own it, when the basement floods I'm the one standing there with a camping pot in my hand bailing, literally bailing, dirty ground water into the utility sink. Dog bless our humble home.Because I am crazy

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-71783035087998828982009-07-29T16:05:00.000-07:002009-07-29T16:19:45.381-07:002009-07-29T16:19:45.381-07:00

To be fair, this was after the car sat in a parking lot all day. When I drove for twenty minutes it dropped to a much more comfortable 104°.

mirandanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-7068687761194666712009-07-21T09:41:00.000-07:002009-07-21T09:48:53.632-07:002009-07-21T09:48:53.632-07:00

From The Age.comWomen and girls have been discriminated against for too long in a twisted interpretation of the word of God.I have been a practising Christian all my life and a deacon and Bible teacher for many years. My faith is a source of strength and comfort to me, as religious beliefs are to hundreds of millions of people around the world. So my decision to sever my ties with the Southern

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-81187367392046600062009-07-19T19:54:00.000-07:002009-07-19T19:57:57.548-07:002009-07-19T19:57:57.548-07:00

Even after all this time The sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with A love like that, It lights the whole sky. ~The Sun Never Says

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-62936366271800094492009-07-14T22:10:00.000-07:002009-07-14T22:42:21.324-07:002009-07-14T22:42:21.324-07:00

Did you know that prenuptial cohabiting can "spoil" marriage? Yeah Science is talking to YOU, unmarried hoors. Clearly you've got only two choices: 1. Marry immediately and SUFFER A DOOMED WEDDED LIFE OF UNENDURABLE, CRIPPLING EMOTIONAL PAIN or B. Never get married and experience the rest of your sinful, morally bankrupt relationship exactly as happily as you do now.Tough one.

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-36982206241033104222009-07-11T20:56:00.000-07:002009-07-11T21:42:11.445-07:002009-07-11T21:42:11.445-07:00

Not only did I slice the tip of my very important index finger (it's vital for so many functions, chief among them being the surreptitious eye gunk removal I do forty times a day because I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to everything, or maybe just to my own dander) wide open while doing dishes this week, I have also taken up the task (for the upcoming move into My Very Own Home That I Will Own And

mirandanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-33986389337557029962009-07-09T21:04:00.000-07:002009-07-09T21:36:43.216-07:002009-07-09T21:36:43.216-07:00

Oh yes indeedy. The very nice lady who was selling the house and this marginally unpleasant lady who wanted to buy the house have agreed: the house goes to me! For eleventy million dollars and my first grandchild (haha, kiddo, yer ma has already sold your future [very very very far in the future. VERY far] offspring to get us a big ol money pit fixer-upper for the last year or so you're at home)!

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-67043692178216752532009-06-26T20:11:00.000-07:002009-06-26T21:19:09.414-07:002009-06-26T21:19:09.414-07:00

Holy crap buying a house is a giant rigamarole I had completely forgotten about. In the last ten days I have signed no fewer than thirty pages of legally binding boilerplate gobbledygook, held eight phone conversations wherein I used jargon I am entirely unfamilar with as though I knew even remotely what I was talking about, signed checks for truly unsettling amounts of money and been party to

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-6351428821845722202009-06-15T21:58:00.000-07:002009-06-15T22:18:56.924-07:002009-06-15T22:18:56.924-07:00

While I am a fairly easygoing vegetarian (honestly, eat whatever, I don't have an opinion on your diet, I ate meat for 20+ years and vaguely recall it to be delicious and satisfying in a way that tofu is not plus animals eating animals, have at it. I'll pass though, thanks) but living with a young meat eater who loves to cook for himself mandates that sometimes I find really horrifying things in

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-20545143634080499092009-06-14T22:06:00.000-07:002009-06-14T22:28:23.011-07:002009-06-14T22:28:23.011-07:00

This is what should be doneBy one who is skilled in goodness,And who knows the path of peace...Wishing: In gladness and in saftey,May all beings be at ease.Whatever living beings there may be;Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,The seen and the unseen,Those living near and far away,Those born and to-be-born,May all beings be at ease!...So

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-194767708923402332009-06-14T12:58:00.000-07:002009-06-14T13:46:43.134-07:002009-06-14T13:46:43.134-07:00

Haha, it was so prescient when I said I'd be looking at shacks and shanties. Never doubt my eerie psychic powers again, you.I should have included "crack dens", "homeless squats" and "this really awful sad one that had all of its doors ripped off of just one hinge for some reason and no kitchen, just a filthy fridge in the dining room and the kitchen itself a wretched dirty room stripped to 2 x

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-83702672319305955322009-06-05T20:53:00.000-07:002009-06-14T13:45:47.331-07:002009-06-14T13:45:47.331-07:00

He was in a truck a few lanes over and while I'm certain he was devastatingly handsome (and single. And straight. And brilliant, and hilarious and a radical feminist) and completely thunderstruck by our unparalleled chemistry I can't be absolutely sure because he never quite looked my way and I turned at a light and he went through it and I didn't really have my glasses on. But his left forearm

mirandanoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3475995840830083822.post-60436601758048321882009-05-20T17:37:00.000-07:002009-05-20T17:59:04.306-07:002009-05-20T17:59:04.306-07:00

Sent 8:56am 5/20/2009Me: Good morning! Because you love me & don't think I shld be responsible for cleaning the house we both live in, you will clean either the kitchen or the livingroom today (or both! Woo!). Thank you.Trying to raise a feminist manchild + parenting via text message = clean house, once in a while.

mirandanoreply@blogger.com1