Maybe things like: Great boss, bad sister, newbie entrepreneur, perfectionist, lazy, fun, procrastinator, organised.

1. Take a few moments to write your own down. Don't filter or judge your thoughts; just let them flow. This can include roles, traits and characteristics.
2. Separate Facts from Thoughts: Once you have your list, it’s time to categorise each item. Create two columns: one for facts and one for thoughts (or opinions).

Facts are objective statements about you.
For example:

• Mother
• Sales representative
• Entrepreneur
• Book reader
• Cyclist

Thoughts are subjective and often include adjectives or opinions.
For example:

• Great mother
• Bad mother
• Newbie entrepreneur
• Perfectionist
• Lazy
• Fun
• Procrastinator
• Organised

Anything that is not an objective fact is actually just a thought. Thoughts might feel like facts because you've believed them for so long, but they are just perceptions.

The Power of Thoughts

You might actually insist that some of these thoughts are indeed facts – I AM funny or I AM a procrastinator. These beliefs feel true because we have held onto them for so long.

A belief is just a thought you keep on thinking.

At some point in your life, you had the thought that you are a procrastinator (or insert your own word here). Initially, it was just a tiny thought. Then you found some evidence to back it up (finishing your work at the last minute), and it consolidated the thought. Over the years, you've built up an evidence bank to support that tiny thought you had once, long ago. Now, that little thought has turned into a belief, and that belief feels like the truth about you.

This process is the same for traits that you think are great. Maybe you thought you were funny. People laughed at your jokes, which reinforced the thought. Over time, you gathered more evidence, and now you believe you are funny.

If the thought that you are funny is serving you – keep it. But know that it is not an absolute truth about you; it is just a thought you have about yourself.

Changing Your Narrative

If you understand that being a procrastinator is just a thought you had once, which you went about proving to be true, then you can also start to ‘unthink’ it and look for evidence to the contrary. Not only that, but you can choose to think something else about yourself – like you are an action taker – and start to deliberately think that thought and look for evidence to support it.

You can literally decide exactly what you want to believe about yourself and make it your truth.

Mind-blowing, right?!

Action Acceleration

Self-Observation Journal:

1. List Facts and Thoughts: Take 10 minutes each day this week to jot down the facts about your life and the thoughts you have about yourself.
2. Identify Empowering Thoughts: Highlight any thoughts that you believe are holding you back and replace them with empowering ones. For example, change ‘I am a procrastinator' to ‘I am capable of managing my time effectively'.
3. Collect Evidence: Each day, write down at least one piece of evidence that supports your new, empowering thoughts. Did you start a task without delay? Did you follow through on a commitment? Note it down.

At the end of the week, review your journal. Notice any shifts in your mindset and how they are beginning to shape your actions.

The Struggle

She tells me each week what actions she is going to take. Actions that will move her closer to her goal. The following week comes, and she hasn’t done everything that she said she would. When asked why (and I’m sure you can relate to this) she gives me various reasons. I’m not quite sure what I am doing, I didn’t feel like it, it was too hard, something else came up… Mostly, it is just about avoiding doing the action.

Understanding Discomfort

One of the reasons we try to avoid things is because of the discomfort we feel about doing them. Discomfort is actually an inevitable part of life – you can, however, choose your discomfort.

You can choose the discomfort of being where you are and wanting more – but not actually going after it
OR
You can choose the discomfort you are going to feel playing full out and going after your goals.

Choosing Your Discomfort

Pretty much every day, there is something I have said I will do that I don’t really feel like doing. Next on my schedule today is to write three Instagram posts with graphics and hashtags. Even now, as I think about it, I’m slightly dreading it. It might take me a while to find the image that I want to use, and finding relevant hashtags can sometimes be a drag. I know in advance I will be experiencing some discomfort (even if it is just wanting to do something else instead of doing it) as I take the action.

The Consequences of Inaction

I could choose not to do it, but then I would feel the discomfort of:

• Knowing that I didn’t follow through on what I said I would do.
• Listening to the mind chatter and judgement about it.
• Knowing that I haven’t moved myself closer to my goal.
• Knowing that I haven’t put out information that will help people to achieve their goals.

So I ask myself to choose which discomfort I want. Pretty much every time, when I ask myself to choose the discomfort, I choose the one that will help me to create the life I want.

Action Acceleration

Start choosing your discomfort – the discomfort of staying still or the discomfort of going after what you want.

The Dopamine-Cortisol Connection

In the book, Breuning explains how our brains release dopamine (the feel-good chemical) and cortisol (the stress hormone). In simple terms, dopamine gives us a rush of energy and excitement when we anticipate achieving a goal, while cortisol hits us when we don't meet our expectations, signaling that it's time to change course. This cycle explains much about our behavior as business owners.

The Highs of Planning and Execution

Dopamine is released when we set a goal and start planning how to achieve it. This might explain why we love the initial stages of a project—each step toward our goal gives us another hit of dopamine.

Consider this scenario:

• Deciding to start an email list: Dopamine hit.
• Taking the steps to set it up: Dopamine hit.
• Seeing new subscribers sign up: Dopamine hit.

But what happens when growth stalls? Enter cortisol.

Facing the Lows

When our efforts don't pay off quickly enough, cortisol steps in. This unpleasant feeling often pushes us to seek a new strategy for that dopamine rush.

Consider this:

• Your email list isn’t growing fast enough: Cortisol hit.
• You pivot to hosting weekly webinars: Dopamine hit.
• Initial registrations spike: Dopamine hit.
• But the growth slows down again: Cortisol hit.

The Temptation of Shiny Objects

This cycle of seeking new actions to regain that dopamine high can lead to constantly chasing shiny objects—new tools, new strategies, new goals.

Changing course might mean:

• Switching to a new email autoresponder.
• Creating a different course.
• Redesigning your website.

Each new plan brings a brief dopamine rush, but it's often followed by another cortisol crash when results aren’t immediate.

Embracing Discomfort for Long-Term Success

My coach often says, “Discomfort is the currency of our dreams.” This discomfort might be the cortisol hits we feel when things aren’t working out as quickly as we'd like. Instead of constantly switching tactics, the real challenge (and growth) comes from sticking with our plan, riding out the discomfort and pushing through to see results.

Does this cycle sound familiar to you? Understanding the science behind our urges to switch tactics can help us stay the course. Next time you’re tempted by a new “shiny object,” remember it might just be your brain looking for a dopamine hit.

For me, this insight explained a lot about why I often want to try something new in my business. Awareness is the first step. Now, when I'm distracted by a new idea, I remind myself it’s just my brain seeking that dopamine rush. By understanding and managing the dopamine-cortisol cycle, we can become more resilient entrepreneurs, focused on long-term success rather than short-term highs. Here's to staying the course and achieving our dreams!

Action Acceleration

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. How do you manage the highs and lows of entrepreneurial life? Share your experiences in the comments below.

The Three Key Questions

At the end of your day, take a moment to reflect on these three questions:

1. What Went Well?
   – Focus on the positives. Did you complete a task efficiently? Did something turn out better than expected? Celebrate these wins, no matter how small.
2. What Didn't Go Well?
   – Identify the areas where things didn’t go as planned. Maybe you procrastinated, got distracted, or a task took longer than expected. Acknowledge these areas without judgment.
3. What Would I Do Differently?
   – Consider how you can improve for next time. Would giving yourself more time help? Should you reschedule certain tasks to a different day? This is about finding solutions and refining your approach.

Another insightful question to consider is:
– What are the consequences of not completing the action? Reflect on the impact of not following through. For instance, if you didn’t post on social media, the consequences might include your audience missing valuable information that could help them.

Evaluating with Curiosity, Not Judgment

It's easy to be hard on ourselves, but judgment hinders growth. Instead, approach these self-reflection questions with curiosity:
– Curiosity Over Judgment: If you didn’t complete a task, ask yourself why, with genuine curiosity. For example, ‘Why did I keep putting off this task?' instead of ‘I failed to do this again'.
– Learn and Adapt: Use your reflections to learn and adapt. Understanding why something didn’t work helps you find better strategies for the future.

Practical Steps for Daily Evaluation

1. Set Aside Time: Dedicate a few minutes at the end of each day for daily self-reflection.
2. Write It Down: Journaling your answers can be incredibly beneficial.
3. Stay Consistent: Make this evaluation a daily habit for continuous improvement.
4. Share Your Insights: If you're comfortable, share your reflections with a community or accountability partner.

Action Acceleration

By evaluating your day with these questions, you can create a habit of daily self-reflection for continuous improvement. Remember, the aim is progress, not perfection. Reflect on what went well, learn from what didn’t and always push yourself to make better choices tomorrow.

Understanding Friction

You probably learned about friction in school. It’s the resistance that one surface or object encounters when moving over another. In life, friction can either help or hinder our efforts. For example, when driving on an icy road, friction is essential to prevent skidding. Conversely, when ice skating, we want as little friction as possible for smooth gliding.

The same principle applies to our daily activities and actions. Sometimes friction is beneficial, helping us avoid unwanted behaviors, while other times, reducing friction is key to making it easier to accomplish our goals.

Removing Friction

To increase the likelihood of following through on positive habits, we need to remove as much friction as possible. Here are some examples:

• Exercise: If you want to run every day, keep your sneakers by the door instead of in the back of the closet. This simple change reduces the effort needed to get started.
• Journaling: If you want to journal every morning, keep your journal and pen beside your bed. This way, you can start writing as soon as you wake up without having to search for your materials.
• Productivity: If you want to finish your daily tasks seamlessly, keep your to-do list and project management tool open on your desktop. This reduces the effort needed to refer back to what needs to be done next, keeping you on track.

Adding Friction

Adding friction can help discourage habits you want to reduce or eliminate. Here are some strategies:

• Watching TV: If you want to watch less TV, store the remote in a drawer in the kitchen. This added step makes it less convenient to turn on the TV.
• Social Media: If you want to spend less time on social media, delete the apps from your phone. Only access them from your computer, which requires more effort.
• Unhealthy Snacking: If you’re trying to avoid unhealthy snacks, store them in a hard-to-reach place. The inconvenience may make you think twice before indulging.

Identifying Friction Points

Identify where friction is either helping or hindering you. Here are some steps to get started:

1. Identify Actions: Look at the actions you want to complete and consider where friction is playing a role.
2. Assess Friction Points: Determine if friction is making it harder to start or maintain a positive habit, or if it can be added to discourage a negative one.
3. Implement Changes: Make adjustments to either reduce or add friction as needed. For example, move your workout clothes to a more accessible spot or place distractions out of easy reach.
4. Monitor and Adjust: Keep track of how these changes affect your progress and make further adjustments as necessary.

Action Acceleration

Take inventory of your daily actions and identify the friction points – discerning where friction is either helping or hindering you. Regularly evaluate and adjust these friction points to optimise your environment for success.

At this point, you have three choices.

Choice One: Not Doing It

The first choice is to simply not do it. This is an option we sometimes take. We put off the action, finding excuses or distractions, and nothing changes. You don't want to do this too often though, as you start to erode your word to yourself. .

Choice Two: Take Action Anyway

The second option is to take action regardless of how we feel. Often, we fall under the illusion that we need to feel motivated or inspired to take action. I frequently hear clients say, ‘I didn’t do what I said I would do this week because I didn’t feel motivated'.

But the truth is, we don’t need to feel motivated to take action.

I can be working on my website, feeling completely frustrated because something isn’t working, and still take the action anyway. It’s the same if you want to jog or get up earlier. Whatever it is that you want to implement into your life to achieve your goal, you can take the action without waiting for motivation, inspiration or excitement.

Choice Three: Change Your Thoughts

The third option is to change your thoughts about the action. All our actions are driven by our emotions, which are influenced by our thoughts. One of the quickest ways to change how we feel is to change our thoughts. From coaching hundreds of women and through my own personal experience, I know it's easy to forget why we wanted to do something in the first place. We forget the reasons why we decided to get up every morning and go for a run or why we aimed to achieve a monetary goal in our business.

Create a List of Reasons to Take Action

One of the quickest and easiest ways to change our thoughts about something is to have a list of all the reasons why we want to do it. Why do you want to jog? Why do you want to make that money in your business? Why do you want to implement that habit? What will it create in your life?

Sit down and write a list of all the reasons why, and keep adding to it. This isn’t a once-and-done task. Keep adding new reasons that motivate you. When it’s time to take action and you don’t want to, read through your list. Have it beside your shoes, beside your computer or flash up on your phone. Reading through that list will likely change your thought, leading to a different emotion and the action you want to take.

Action Acceleration

Make that list today of all the reasons why you want to take actions you know you need to take to achieve your goals. Keep it handy because your brain will let you forget those amazing reasons. It will give you all the reasons why it’s better to stay in bed, watch Netflix or do just about anything else. Use your list every time you don’t feel like doing something you planned to do.

Strategies for Setting and Maintaining Daily Intentions

1. Write Your Intention Every Morning

– Start your day by writing out your daily intention. For example, ‘Within 30 days, I will have completely decluttered my house' or ‘By a certain date, I will be running 10 miles a week'. Writing your intention daily reinforces your commitment and keeps your goal at the forefront of your mind.

2. Visual Reminders

Write out your intention once and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day:
– Set it as your phone screensaver.
– Use it as the background on your computer.
– Stick it on the mirror in your bathroom or on the fridge in the kitchen.

3. Use Digital Tools

– Set daily intention reminders or alarms on your phone to prompt you to think about your intention.
– Use apps designed for goal tracking and habit formation, which can send you daily notifications and provide a visual progress tracker.

4. Verbal Affirmations

– Start each day with verbal affirmations of your intention. Saying your goal out loud can reinforce your commitment and help embed it in your subconscious.

5. Journal About Your Intentions

– Keep a daily journal where you reflect on your daily intention. Write about your progress, any obstacles you encountered and how you plan to overcome them. This reflection can help you stay motivated and adjust your strategies as needed.

6. Create a Vision Board

– A vision board can be a powerful visual reminder of your goals. Include images, quotes and other items that represent your intentions. Place the board somewhere you’ll see it every day.

Reinforcing Your Daily Intentions

The key to making your daily intentions a reality is consistency. The more you remind your brain of your goals, the more likely you are to take the necessary actions.

Here are additional tips for reinforcing your daily intentions:

• Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement can keep you motivated.
• Take Daily Actions: Break down your goal into manageable steps and commit to taking action every day. Consistent action, even if small, leads to significant progress over time.
• Stay Accountable: Share your intention with a friend or accountability partner who can support you and help keep you on track.
• Reflect and Adjust: Regularly review your progress and make adjustments as needed. If something isn’t working, don’t be afraid to tweak your approach.

Action Acceleration

Decide on a method (or several) to keep your daily intention top of mind. By consistently reminding yourself of your goals and taking deliberate action, you’ll move from the idea stage to implementation and eventually achieve automaticity.

But how much of the life that you really want to live are you missing out on because you're not taking the action you know you need to take? I also know that the more you put it off, the more it plays on your mind – and before you know it, weeks, months and even years have gone by, and you still haven't taken those actions that you know are actually going to create the life we want.

The Power of Small, Incremental Steps

When it comes to taking action, it's all about starting small. Sometimes we build up in our heads that if we decide we want to run a marathon, then it's going to take all this time and effort out of our week to train and prepare. But it's all about those tiny, tiny, little incremental steps. It might be that you just start by putting your shoes by the door. It might seem ridiculous to take such a small action. Why not just put your shoes on and go for a run? But as you know, quite often it doesn't happen. So, we do incremental changes.

Put your shoes by the door and celebrate that. Let your brain know, ‘Oh, this was a really great thing we did'. The next day, put your shoes and socks on, even if you don't make it out the door. The next day, do a little bit more and a little bit more. Most of the time, when we take that little bit of action, we do more than we think we will. If I sit down and write one sentence for my book, before I know it, I've written a couple of paragraphs. Some days, you may just write the one sentence. But we start to create momentum. We start to let our brain know that this is important to us and we're going to put in the effort to do it.

Overcoming Mental Barriers

It's uncomfortable because it's so much easier not to do the thing we want to do. But it's also uncomfortable to constantly think, ‘I should be doing …'. The brain space you're using up by reminding yourself all the time that you should be doing it, and being mean to yourself about why you're not doing it, takes more effort than just doing that little bit.

Action Acceleration

What is one thing in your life you want? Is it to get healthier? Is it to write a book? Is it to have better relationships? Choose one mini action you can do that will actually move you forward. Take the action and celebrate. Then do the action again. Celebrate and do the action a little bit more, and celebrate.

That's what I want you to do this week, over and over again. Please do not forget to celebrate. It's two things: it gives you a dopamine hit because you're a rock star, and it trains your brain that this thing we're doing is important.

Overcommitment is a common issue. Many people commit to actions without fully considering their schedules. For instance, someone might decide to dedicate three hours every day to a business project, only to realise later that work, appointments or social engagements make this impossible. This mismatch between intention and reality can lead to frustration and a sense of failure.

Planning Ahead for Success

To avoid overcommitment, it's essential to plan ahead. Before making any commitments, take a close look at your schedule and ask yourself:

• What existing commitments do I have?
• How much free time is realistically available?
• Are there any unforeseen events that could impact my plan?

Answering these questions ensures that your commitments are realistic and achievable.

Honouring Your Word to Yourself

Honouring your word to yourself is vital. It’s the foundation of self-trust and confidence. When you make a commitment and follow through, you reinforce the belief that you can achieve your goals. This consistency creates a sense of inevitability about your success.

Practical Steps to Informed Commitment

1. Review Your Schedule: Before committing, look at your calendar and see what you have already booked in.
2. Assess Your Availability: Determine how much free time you genuinely have each day.
3. Set Realistic Goals: Based on your available time, set goals that are challenging yet achievable.
4. Adjust as Needed: If something unexpected comes up, adjust your commitments accordingly. Flexibility is key.
5. Communicate Clearly: If you’re working with a coach or accountability partner, clearly communicate your available time and any changes to your schedule.

Building the Habit of Success

Creating success is about more than just setting goals; it’s about setting the right goals and ensuring you have the time and resources to achieve them. By thoughtfully committing to tasks, you set yourself up for success and build the habit of following through.

Action Acceleration

Decide the action you want to take this week, check your calendar and see what you can realistically commit to. Then schedule in those actions. Informed commitment is a powerful tool in creating the life and business you desire.

There is no right way to do it!

This can be a really hard concept to grasp. We see someone that has what we want and think that if we follow the exact steps they took, then we could have it as well. Maybe we listen to a training from someone that has the business we want or the community we desire. We think, ‘If I follow this to the letter, then I should have the same success.’

But then we don’t (even though we did what they said).

Then what can happen is that you start to question yourself. Asking questions such as:

• What is wrong with me?
• How is it that other people seem to be able to do this, but not me?
• Am I ever going to have the life I really want?

Not only are these questions unhelpful – your brain will always look for negative answers if you ask it negative questions – they actually move you further away from your goal.

There really is no right way – no one else has your brain, your knowledge, your life experience or your resources.

My friend and I had a bit of a running joke. Whenever we drove somewhere, she would always say, ‘Not sure if this is the quickest way or the best way.’ We would both laugh and say, ‘But it’s A way.’

It was just a silly bit of fun, but I think the same principle applies when it comes to achieving what we want in life. It is all trial and error – you can see it as failure or you can see it as a stepping stone along the way.

And guess what? You won’t know which way was the way until you achieve what you want to achieve.

The RIGHT WAY is the way YOU do it!