stark. raving. mad. mommy.

Tell Me More About How My Kid With Autism 'Does Not Employ Theory of Mind'

2013-04-03T10:17:00.000-05:00

Today on Babble I have a book review of Jennifer Cook O'Toole's book, The Asperkid's Secret Book of Social Rules: The Handbook of Not-So-Obvious Social Guidelines for Tweens & Teens with Aseprger Syndrome.

Most of the book review is really an interview with my incredibly awesome, almost 12-year-old daughter, The Pork Lo Maniac. The PLM already had a diagnosis of ADHD-Primarily Inattentive Type when we kind of all realized, at the same time, that she was probably also on the autism spectrum.

The PLM and I had a conversation in which we talked about how some scientists think that ADHD is the beginning of the autism spectrum, and she said, "Mom, I think I'm a couple of notches over from there."

And so began a magical time of discovery for our daughter and for us as her parents. Of course, our "magical time of discovery" involved approximately 13 months of evaluations, meetings, e-mails, phone calls, ten-page letters, heated discussions with school administrators, and one threat of legal action, but whatever. It was magical, people.

In this book review/interview, the Pork Lo Maniac talks about being in middle school, how this book is helpful, and what a real friend is. If you'll permit me to brag for a few moments, she demonstrates not only more self-awareness than most "neurotypical" adults, but also more confidence and compassion.

Also? Theory of mind: she haz it. For example:

“It’s kind of hard for me to know, deep down, how good people are,” she said. “I know I can’t always tell when people are being honest, or sarcastic. And middle school is this whole time where you don’t know what your thing is. You don’t know exactly where you fit in.”

“And sometimes, I wonder if maybe some of the kids who seem mean, maybe they’re really nice but just don’t know how to fit in,” she mused. “And then also, sometimes they’re just jerks.”

You can read the entirety of my interview with the Pork Lo Maniac, and why she thinks tweens and teens with Asperger Syndrome need a book like The Asperkid's Secret Guide to Social Rules, on Babble. Enter to win your very own copy of the book by leaving a comment (not a Facebook comment!) on the Babble post.

Also, please don't forget to check out my post on the difference between autism awareness and autism acceptance, and the 10 things I wish everyone's kids knew about autism.

On the other hand, if you just need a break from being so aware of autism that you're ready to puke blue glitter, you should check out my favorite post for Babble Pets that I've ever done: I Can't Stop Looking at This Dancing Cat .gif That Looks Just Like Christopher Walken.

It's Already the Best Autism Acceptance Month Ever

2013-04-01T13:15:00.002-05:00

Hi! I know I totally haven't been around over here. It's been more chaos than usual at the stark. raving. mad. house, what with the Peanut Butter Kid sustaining a concussion in February, and then missing six weeks of school, and then everyone in our house getting every damn virus possible, and all that.

Anyway, it's April! Which means it's time to start popping those allergy pills, and it's also time for some autism awareness fun.

Except, honestly, I'm kind of over it. Is anyone else? I live and breathe autism awareness. I'm aware. A lot of self-advocates are moving toward making April into Autism Acceptance Month, and that idea sits a little better with me. As a starting point, check out some ideas offered by the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) for celebrating Autism Acceptance Month.

As part of Autism Acceptance Month, I'll be interviewing a bunch of the real experts: adults with autism, and especially autistic parents of autistic kids. I'll also be doing some book reviews and book giveaways. Most of it will be on Babble, but I'll link it all up here.

In the mean time, my first post for the month is up at Babble: Autism Awareness Month: 10 Things I Wish Your Kids Knew About Autism.

I have to tell you, though, the best part of Autism Acceptance Month has already happened.

I linked the above post on my Facebook page, where it's getting an enthusiastic response and tons of shares. Julie Miner, who writes Rants from Mommyland, was particularly enthusiastic, writing "this post is GREAT! I love it and I'm going to share it, too."

And Julie's phone was so enthusiastic that it autocorrected post to pussy. I'm sure we can all be grown-up about this. After all, Julie and I both also write about cats a lot for Babble Pets, so obviously her phone was just confused by that.

As an alternative to being grown-up about this, I can giggle about this for hours, and share a screencap with you here.

I should note that Julie apologized to me privately and asked if I wanted the comment deleted. I asked her to please leave it, because if there's one thing Autism Acceptance Month could use, it's pussy jokes. She wrote me back something else, but her phone changed "it's awesome" to "tits awesome" and now I can't even breathe.

Really, I can't see how this can be topped. So far it's the best Autism Acceptance Month ever.

You can read 10 Things I Wish Your Kids Knew About Autism on Babble. After that you should totally read about Julie's other recent phone-related misadventures.

There Is Nothing New Under the Sun and Certainly Not in the Girls' Bathroom at School

2013-02-06T14:46:00.001-06:00

We favored a natural look in the 1980s.

When I was in middle school, I was afraid to use the girls' room at all, because:

The Aqua Net fumes were so thick they threatened to actually shellac the inside of your lungs.
Some of the really "bad" girls smoked, and I was afraid they'd light the air on fire (see Aqua Net fumes, above).
I was afraid of a girl named Patty, who spent most of her educational time in the girls' room appreciating how fine her black pleather parachute pants were looking, and threatening to pound other girls into the ground.

Simon! I bet he got those highlights with Sun-In.

I'm here to report to you, via my kids, that thirty years later, not much has changed. Here's what's new in the girls' room:

While preteen girls still have a love of scrawling their most poetic thoughts onto the bathroom wall with Sharpie markers, let's just say that things have gotten a little harsher. Now it's not so much about your burning crush on Simon LeBon or even the cruel "Susie is a slut." It's "Susie is a ho and she should go kill herself."
No one is smoking. I'm hoping this is because kids are smarter these days, but more likely it's because the schools have better smoke alarms and/or they're actually injecting meth instead.
Instead of spending time in the bathroom admiring their parachute pants, re-shellacking their hair, and applying a twelfth later of Cover Girl Shimmering Shell lipstick, now the girls spend all their time in the bathroom taking duckface selfies and posting them to Instagram. Also, texting. Also, standing on the sink and posing while another girl takes your picture and posts it to her Instagram, because nothing says you're a bad-ass like standing on the sink. And then some more texting.

If you're reading this and thinking, "wow, why would anyone want to stand around in a bathroom while texting?" then you are officially old. Because there is nothing more fun and exciting than texting whilst smelling other people's poop air. Also, if you are thinking "what the hell does an 11-year-old have to text someone about at 10:30 in the morning?" you are, again, officially old.

Because obviously everything they're texting is of critical importance. Things like, "Sup" and "LOL" and "Sup." And probably also exchanges like this:

Girl 1: Sup?

Girl 2: I am totally going to fail math because I spend all my time in the bathroom taking duckface selfies and texting.

Girl 1: LOL. Me 2.

Girl 2: Also, I will probably never go to college and will live in my mother's basement until I'm 40.

Girl 1: That's okay, I will probably be in jail.

Girl 2: Hey, want to start a meth lab?

Girl 1: No, that would require some basic understanding of science, and I spend all of my science class in the bathroom, standing on the sink and posting pics to Instagram.

Girl 2: LOL.

Girl 1: That's cool, let's go make fun of the kids who study.

Girl 2: Yeah, they're so lame, with their good grades and opportunities they're creating for their future.

Girl 1: Really. They don't even bring Sharpies to the bathroom.

Girl 2: They're so stupid. Hey, check out this Instagram photo of me standing on the sink.

Girl 1: That's awesome. I'll text you again during English.

Girl 2: Good idea. It would obviously be terrible for us to learn any kind of communication skills beyond texting and Twitter.

Duckface: You're doing it right.

I'm pretty sure the answer to this entire problem is for me to volunteer to sit in the girls' bathroom with a spray bottle of water to spritz the kids with if they aren't behaving, just like how you get a cat to stop clawing the furniture.

It would be like this:

Girl 1: [starts to take out cell phone]

Me: ::spritz!::

Girl 1: [puts away cell phone]

I assume that after 2 or 50 times of being unpleasantly spritzed with cold water, even a tween could be trained to stop taking duckface photos of themselves.

This could totally work. I mean, the school probably has wi-fi, right? I could do my entire job as a freelance writer from in there, just periodically taking breaks to yell at kids. Or, I could just be there at completely random times, to keep them on their toes.

Girl 1: Sup?

Girl 2: Not mu---

Me: GO BACK TO CLASS!

Or, you know, I could just have my kid use the bathroom in the nurse's office. Whatever.

Unrelated: here are some recent posts you might like:

On NickMom:

Just Another Day in the Harbaugh House

In the News: Mary Ingalls Didn't Go Blind from Scarlet Fever and Other Disappointments

On Babble:

On Milestones, Deadlines, and Public Bathrooms: There Is No "Right Age" for Anything This is a post in response to something I read on the blog Free-Range Kids, in which a mother was simply horrified that a 12- or 13-year-old boy was in a ladies' restroom with his mother.

'Doof Daily' Is the Best News/Lifestyle Commentary on the Web OMG, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz has a vlog, you guys.

Insanely Adorable Dachshund Is A Celebrity In His Own Mind In which I interview a dachshund. Really. Pretty sure I'm a lock for a Pulitzer with this kind of hard-hitting journalism.

Seventh-Grade Girl Builds Rocket, Sends Hello Kitty Into Stratosphere, Makes Epic Video About It Simply awesome.

Paralyzed Cat Gets New Wheelchair, Courtesy of High School Robotics Team Robotics geeks for the win!

(Photo Credits: Joan Cusack, 20th Century Fox. Simon LeBon, simonlebon4ever. Baby duck, suphakit73/FreeDigitalImages.net)

I Am No Longer Completely Disorganized

2013-01-30T10:20:00.001-06:00

Pick up ALL THE THINGS.
Webkinz and Beanie Babies
now have their own condo: a
hanging, pocket shoe organizer
from IKEA. Tossed out the ratty
clothes hamper that was holding them
before -- and freed up some floor
space.

Warning: This post drops the asterisk-filled f-bomb ~~a couple~~ ~~a few~~ a f**kton of times.

So, my New Year's Resolution was to get more organized. My plan was to try to organize one thing every day, even if it's just one corner of a shelf.

I'm as surprised as anyone, but...it's kind of working.

I'm organizing something every day. Even more impressive, I'm pretty much keeping the organized things organized.

Sometimes it's something big -- like the closet where we keep all the kids' school clothes. It's a big deal, because our house has 3 closets total. They're all small, and one of them doesn't even have a thing to hang clothes on. One of the closets is dedicated to the kids' school clothes, and it was basically a wreck of khaki pants and polo shirts.

Sometimes, it really is something small. A drawer. Not even a real junk drawer, but like a 12-inch drawer I keep pencils in. Or a tiny corner shelf in the bathroom that only holds Q-tips because it's a complete piece of crap that can't support more than approximately 6 ounces of stuff.

Most of the "things" that have been organized resulted in at least one garbage bag's worth of crap leaving this house. This is a good thing because there are Littlest Pet Shop houses with more storage space than my house.

The stuffed animal condos hang on the outside of the kids'
bedroom doors, because that's the only place they
can go. Not exactly House Beautiful,
but whatever. Now they double as mailboxes!

As much as I'm intimidated by FlyLady, I did pick up a really good thing from that site. On FlyLady, the days of the week are organized with different things you're supposed to do. Like I think you're supposed to somehow grocery shop on Friday? Whatever. Anyway, one of the days is (and I'm paraphrasing here) "Do All the Crap You've Been Avoiding Day."

There's something very appealing about that. It's not "Feel Really Guilty for Avoiding All the Things" day. It's not "I Am The Worst Mother In The World Because I Still Haven't Scheduled That Eye Doctor Appointment Day." It's not even "Wow, When the Hell Is the Last Time I Got a Pap Smear Oh My God I'm Such a Bad Example Day."

It's a day to notice that there's some crap you haven't done, and now you should go ahead and do it.

Today, that's what I "organized." The stuff I have been avoiding. Which is actually just making phone calls to schedule appointments. I avoid this for a lot of reasons:

I don't like talking on the phone. If I could schedule everything via the Internet, I probably would have gotten this stuff done ages ago.
It takes an oddly long time to make an appointment. Like, longer than the actual appointment, maybe? There's something about navigating a doctor's office phone system, and having to reel off all my insurance information, that makes what should be a 5-minute phone call into a 20-minute ordeal. And if I have a free 20 minutes, I'd rather not spend it listening to an automated phone system and then talking about insurance. I'd prefer to use that time playing Animal Crossing on my daughter's DS.
I have put the thing off for so long that now I feel guilty and feel like I will have to explain myself.

Scored a free wooden toy bin rack
(but no bins) from a friend. Bought
opaque black bins with lids at IKEA
for like 2 bucks each. Now I don't
have to look at their stuff. Plus,
the black bins look better in our
living room than the original
primary color bins would
have looked.

Guess what? The receptionist at the ob/gyn's office does not care when my last appointment was. She has her own life and her own problems and probably has a touch of the norovirus and she does not have any f**ks left to give as to whether I've stuck to the recommended schedule for Pap smears.

Which is kind of liberating to realize.

I'm also still referring to Unf**k Your Habitat for inspiration and reminders. The delightfully foul-mouthed woman who runs that site has a whole thing about unf**king your morning. Before you go to bed, you're supposed to set up your coffee/tea, all your lunch stuff, and your clothes for the next day. So, I've been doing that. I have the kids do the lunch stuff, though. They set out their lunch boxes, and put in all the things that don't require refrigeration, and then in the morning, all we have to do is drop in the yogurt or whatever. And thus, my mornings have indeed become significantly less f**ked.

Yay me for forging a path to being no longer completely disorganized. I'd say that we can now downgrade the threat of chaos in this house to "Significantly Disorganized."

That's actually pretty good for one month.

....................................
I've got a couple of special needs-related posts over at Babble that you might like:
How Much Therapy Would My Kid Need If This Happened When He Flushed the Toilet? A look at a slightly insane new Huggies Pull-Ups commercial from the viewpoint of sensory integration dysfunction.

'We Can Do Anything': Brothers Win SportsKids of the Year Award (Video) Sports Illustrated honored a 9-year-old boy, and his 6-year-old brother with cerebral palsy, who compete together in triathlons. Let's just say that LeBron James got choked up after watching this video.

Need a good cry?
This video of a military dad surprising his daughter at NCAA basketball practice will melt your heart.

Just need a quick laugh? Here are a few things over at NickMom:
Monopoly to Banish One Token From Game and Obviously It Should Be the Iron
6 Steps to Solving Every Problem the Brady Way
Ryan Gosling Refers to His Pecs as "Pets" Why Ryan's pecs would obviously make better family pets than the ones I actually have.

How to Make a Low-Sew Hat and Also Not Crap Up Your House With Your Craft Projects

2013-01-03T13:32:00.002-06:00

In my continuing efforts to organize my house and life, I'm working on a post for Babble about doing craft projects/service projects with your kids. In other words, craft projects that will not clutter up your house because you're going to ~~get rid of them like hot potatoes~~ give them away to a charity or organization in your community.

I do love all things crafty. I totally suck at many crafts, but I enjoy them anyway. And some crafts, I've gotten kind of good at. I only do crafts that use up just enough brain power that I can't think about other stuff, but not so much brain power that it's stressful. For me, it's usually knitting, crochet, and sewing. Although recently I bought a hot glue gun and now I'm like HOW DID I FUNCTION WITHOUT THIS?

I started a lot of crafting with my kids because it was basically occupational therapy for them, when they had sensory issues and fine motor skill issues. We're still crafting together, because a) we don't have cable and b) it's fun.

Since I became a Brownie troop leader, I've been trying to come up with more craft projects that have a purpose. With my troop, I did a low-sew fleece hat project (low-sew for me; no-sew for them) that resulted in 37 warm fleece hats. I did the very minimal sewing involved, and the girls in the troop did all the cutting and tying of the fringe.

The girls each kept one hat for themselves, so that they'd have matching hats for our hikes, and the rest were donated to a nearby school (although not the one they attend) to be distributed by the school's social worker. The church our troop meets in already has a program in place to give things to the school, so we happily just delivered our hats to the church office. Convenient!

If you're interested in making low-sew fleece hats, below is a quick tutorial. I've never tried to make a tutorial before, so this one probably sucks. Sorry about that. You're smart, you'll probably figure it out okay anyway.

If you sew, this is a great use for scrap fleece left over from other projects. If you don't happen to have any fleece scraps the right size, check the cheapy-chip bin of remnants at your fabric store.

How to Make a Warm Fleece Hat That Looks Way More Impressive Than It Really Is:

1. Measure.

Measure out and cut some fleece. For a kid's hat, you'll need a rectangle of about 24 inches by 13 inches. You'll also need a strip of fabric about 1/2 inch by 12 inches.

By the way, fleece is usually stretchier in one direction than the other. You want it to stretch in the direction of the long side (the 24-inch side).

2. Edge.

You only need to do this to one of the long (24-inch) sides, that's it. Along one long edge, either make a narrow hem or just serger the sucker. If this part really seems annoying, you could totally just skip it, really. Whatever.

3. Seam.

Fold the rectangle in half, right sides facing in, and seam the two shorter (13-inch) sides together.

Related: I love my serger. It's kind of my baby.

4. Admire the tube you have made so far.

Show everyone in the house what you have made. Because you're awesome.

5. Cut fringe.

Along what is now the top edge of the hat (this is the edge that is unfinished/not hemmed/not sergered), cut fringe. To do this, make incisions about 3 inches long, about a half-inch apart. DO NOT sit there with a ruler and try to measure this. It does not need to be perfect.

Do this all the way around the top of the hat.

Oh, but try not to cut through the seam.

6. Tie.

Turn the tube right side out and squish the fringey bits together. Remember that strip of fabric from earlier? Gather all the fringe together, and tie that strip of fabric just below where the fringe cuts are.

If your fringe bits look really uneven, you can take some scissors and trim them up a bit. But really, don't sweat it too much.

7. Your hat is done.

Go on Facebook and tell everyone you made a hat. Take photos, but try to make them clearer than this crappy one I took. If you're on Pinterest, you should totally put your hat on Pinterest. And then "like" your Pin on Facebook, because everyone needs to know that you made a hat.

Oh, right, also, at some point, give your kid the hat you made.

Or, donate it so that a less fortunate mom can also have the joy of yelling at her kid to put his hat on.

Recent posts on Babble:

Telling a New Story: The Autism Community Responds to Media's Coverage of Adam Lanza's Autism With Positive Images

Stressed? These 16 Cats Playing in the Snow Are Oddly Soothing.

Blind Dog Has Seeing Eye Kitty-Friend (Video)

Craft Projects to Make and Donate With Your Kids

Recent posts on NickMom:
Kim Kardashian's Pregnancy To-Do List
What Would Carol Brady Tweet?

Please Help Me: My New Year's Resolution is to Get Organized

2012-12-31T13:03:00.000-06:00

(via We Love Chuck Norris)

I am chronically disorganized. It's terrible and it adds stress to my life and my kids' lives. My husband is kind of the same way, so there's no one setting a good example for our kids. That means that they're all just as bad.

For a long time, one of our daughters, Cookie, was hyper-organized. It wasn't really a positive thing, though: it was more of a panicky response to anxiety. So now, not so much. She still really enjoys sorting and organizing things, though, so she's on board to help me think of ways to make our house more organized.

It's not actually possible for me to organize my whole house and life in a weekend, or even in a month. It's really, really bad.

So my idea is that I'm going to try to organize one thing, every day. Even if it's a tiny shelf in the bathroom. The general idea is not to set the bar too high and then feel like a failure when I haven't accomplished House Beautiful in 24 hours.

Speaking of feeling like a failure, I once tried that that Flylady site and it seems I don't have the enthusiasm to keep my sink shiny all the time, and therefore I failed. Flylady is so overwhelming that it makes me want to just hide on the couch and watch more Harry Potter movies instead of cleaning. Related: if I was Molly Weasley, I could just wave my wand and say, "Scourgify!" and the sink would be clean.

So here's my plan so far:
1. Organize one thing every day.
2. Stop buying fabric and yarn until I have used up all the fabric and yarn I already own.
3. Make a chore chart for the whole family and actually stick with it this time.
4. When I'm feeling lazy, watch Hoarders because that always sends me into a cleaning frenzy.

So, what are your tips and tricks? Keep in mind that:

Our house is tiny. Miniscule, actually. So I'm looking for ideas on how to utilize teeny-tiny amounts of space well.
Oh, and our closets are either freaky-shaped or nonexistent.
I don't have hundreds of dollars to spend on containers 'n' things.
I am not Molly Weasley.
I have a fairly short attention span and Flylady gives me panic attacks.

I'm looking for general ideas (lay out your clothes in the morning) and little bits of brilliance like this:

I DID THIS: Wrap Christmas lights around a paper towel roll (or wrapping paper roll). Cut a slit in the end of the paper towel roll to keep them from unraveling. (Pinterest via Buzzfeed)

Brilliant tricks like this, which make me happy and allow me to pretend that I have my act together, will be filed on my Pinterest board for organizing. If you click over, you'll see that I only have two ideas there, and I've only done one of them. So, I need more ideas.

Helllllllllllllp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Recent posts to enjoy:
Fiscal Cliff, Babymama, Artisinal, #YOLO: Which Words Should Be Banished in 2013?
Negotiating the Fiscal Cliff: Top 10 Mom-Approved Suggestions for Politicians
Flocabulary's 'Year in Rap' Sums Up 2012 in 2-1/2 Minutes (Video)

Weekly Ketchup, and Merry Force Be With You

2012-12-22T10:56:00.001-06:00

Hey there! The effects of my concussion are still kinda lingering, but mostly I'm better. Obviously, I still plan to milk this as an excuse for as long as possible, if only because it's just a nice change of pace from all my usual excuses, like "I have four kids," "I ran out of coffee," "ohcrapItotallyforgottotakemyAdderall," and of course, the classic, "f**k it, I'd rather take a nap."

Here are some examples of how I'm currently making my concussion work for me:

Sorry we didn't send out Christmas cards. I had a concussion.
Sorry I didn't sign that permission slip/show up at that appointment/do that thing I was supposed to do. I had a concussion.
Sorry your Christmas presents are probably going to arrive like a week late. I had a concussion.
Sorry I completely lost my filter and said all the stuff I'm supposed to think but not say. I had a concussion.
Sorry we've had frozen pizza for the last five nights in a row. I had a concussion.

Speaking of frozen pizza, those things should really be perforated. If I'm too lazy to make my family a real dinner, do you really think I want to have to hack through that rock-hard crust with a knife? No, I don't. Get on that, frozen foods companies. Make my lazy food lazier!

You know what else someone should make? Zip-Loc type freezer baggies shaped like Go-Gurts. Those things are wicked expensive and I'd really like to just make my own. In fact, I want these made so badly that I just emailed S.C. Johnson, the company that makes Zip-Loc, to ask them to get on that (please). Fingers crossed!

I'm completely, insanely behind in all my work, but happily my editors are all being totes cool about the whole concussion thing. Pretty sure they took one work at the misspelled crap riddled with grammar errors that I was turning in, and they were all like, "hey, why don't you take a break, there, SpongeBob ConcussionPants? 'Cause we don't have time to edit this deranged nonsense."

I'm trying to get caught up now as best I can. I did cover the tragedy in Newtown, although I limited what I wrote to posts that I thought were helpful in some way. As much as I don't want to be part of the vulture-like media frenzy, the whole thing hit me pretty hard. I grew up one town over from Newtown, and the tragedy affected a lot of people I know. And then there was the whole "autistic = violent" crap and really, I had to respond.

Here's what I wrote. Pick and choose what you can handle. If you're just overwhelmed and don't want to read another thing about it, I totally understand.

How Do I Talk to My Kids About Tragedy? 10 Expert Tips
Let's Talk About Mental Health, Pleads Mother of Violent, Mentally Ill Child
Ways You Can Help the Community of Newtown, Connnecticut
Autism Experts Speak Out on Media's Rush for Information
Tribute: PS22 Chorus Sings Sandy Hook Elementary's School Song
Mayors, Celebrities Want You to 'Demand a Plan' to Reduce Gun Violence (Video)

I didn't think I could love George Takei
any more than I already did. And
yet, here he is reading '50 Shades.'

Can't handle it anymore? Here's a whole bunch of fun stuff to distract you and make you smile:
The Most Unusual Baby Names of 2012...And My Predictions for 2013
I Don't Know What This Baby Otter Is Doing, But It's Adorable (Video)
This Happy Dog in a Swing Is the Most Relaxing Thing You'll See All Day (Video)
Oh, Myyy! George Takei's Hilarious Reading of '50 Shades' (Totally NSFW or Kids)
IKEA Monkey's Owner Wants Him Back, Is *Totally* Sane (Videos)
18 Bizarre News Stories from 2012 That Prove the Mayans Were Totally Right This is a review of the most effed-up stuff I covered during 2012. Yes, I'm aware that the world didn't end. However, I still contend that we're doomed.

Here's some more motherfunny stuff from NickMom. It's all really short so you can read it on your phone while you pee!
Mom's To-Do List: The World Didn't End Edition All the crap I have to get done now that the world didn't end.
Google's Santa Tracker Is Up And Running A list of other things I need Google to track for me. Like my kids' inhalers. You'd think they'd keep a better eye on something that makes them stop coughing, but NO.
US Government Insists Doomsday Rumors Are Just Rumors 4 Signs They Might Be Wrong (OHMYGAH my kids just put away their laundry.)
Carol Brady vs. Shirley Partridge Who would win in a cage match?

Happy Holidays, y'all. I am grateful for you all.

Image Credits:
Holly border graphic: Grant Cochrane
George Takei: YouTube
Star Wars Christmas: FanPop

Where the Hell Have I Been?

2012-12-13T18:45:00.000-06:00

You know it's bad when even
Diet Coke can't solve my problems.
Of course, in 1897 when this ad came out,
they were still putting cocaine in
"The Ideal Brain Tonic." So I guess it's less
ideal nowadays.
(Image via Tumblr)

You want to know how uncoordinated I am? I walked into a ceiling. It seems impossible, and yet...that's apparently how I roll, apparently. (And by "how I roll," I mean "whack my head and crumple into a heap on the floor.")

One of my kids was sitting on the floor in our upstairs hallway, tying her sneakers. I tried to go around her, but whacked my head on the sloped ceiling over the stairs. And gave myself a concussion.

The interesting thing about having a concussion is that I've been writing about youth sports-related concussions all year for Babble, and even once for Katie Couric. The mantra in sports is now "when in doubt, sit them out."

So I sat myself out.

Really, I didn't have much of a choice. I don't know how students and athletes manage to hide their concussions, in fact. I was nauseous and dizzy for days. I had instant if I tried to read. I couldn't find* the words I needed. I was exhausted, even more than usual for me. My brain was fuzzy, in a way that could not be helped with Diet Coke and Adderall.

So that's where I've been. I've been slowly ramping back up. In the mean time, Babble got itself a fancy new layout. I haven't done much this month, but some of my highlights so far for December are below!

Oooh, also, can you do me a big fat favor? It'll totally be my Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Solstice present from you. If you follow me on Facebook, make sure you're getting all my nonsense in your feed. To do this:

Go to my Facebook page.
Hover over where it says "Liked."
Click "Show in News Feed."
Yay! You have totally helped me. Because otherwise Facebook makes me pay actual money to have my nonsense shows up in your feed.

And here are some of my fave posts for Babble and NickMom this month:

Sort of Parenting-Related News:
The 12 Funniest Generation Gap Tweets from the 121212 Concert

18 Alarming News Stories From 2012 That Prove the Mayans Were Totally Right

Viral Video That Will Make You Cry: LEGO Awesomely Helps Out Boy With Asperger

Winter Break Activity: Harry Potter Xbox Party (check out the golden snitch Christmas ornament craft!)

Pet-Related Nonsense:
Merry Catmas: 20 Cats Who Think Your Christmas Tree Is Their New Toy

Rescue Kitten Performs 'Nutcracker' Ballet

IKEA Monkey's Owner Wants Him Back, Is *Totally* Sane

On NickMom
Consulting Firm Lists Top 5 Places In the World to Live; My Kids Disagree

U.S. Government Promises World Isn't Ending; We Believe Otherwise

Carol Brady vs. Shirley Partridge

Top 9 Reasons It Was Better to Be a Mom in the 1970s

Updates 'n' thankfulness 'n' stuff

2012-11-06T08:36:00.001-06:00

Many of my friends have been posting 30 Days of Thanksgiving statuses on Facebook. The idea is to give thanks all month, instead of just on Thanksgiving.

I'm a little late to the game on this, but I am, every day, incredibly thankful. It's been a rollercoaster couple of years for us, but honestly, I'm grateful for the problems we have. And lately, things have taken a decidedly positive turn for our family.

Today's November 6, so here are six things I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful that my husband has a job. My husband, the Absent-Minded Professor, is finally employed again. And not just employed: employed in the field of his choice, doing meaningful work, earning a decent wage and receiving benefits. After a year of supporting our family of six as a freelance writer (generally not the most lucrative of jobs), I feel like we can kind of breathe a bit now.

I'm thankful for my job(s). I love my work. I get to make people laugh and I get to bring special needs issues to a mainstream audience. My husband losing his job forced me to really push myself as a writer, and just kind of "make it work," as Tim Gunn would say. I'm well aware that paying writing jobs are few and far between, and I feel pretty blessed to be earning a living writing for Babble, NickMom, and Redbook. I work full-time (way more than 40 hours a week) but I do it from home and for the most part, set my own hours.

Related: I'm thankful for the people who read my nonsense. Thanks for that. Those companies wouldn't be paying me jack if people didn't click and read. I love that you leave comments and send me emails and give me ideas when I have no freaking idea what to do to help my kids.

I'm thankful for my family, quirks and all. My kids are freaking awesome. They have been amazing troopers during our year of extreme belt-tightening. They are smart and funny and kind. And my husband made the absolute most of his year as a stay-at-home dad. He worked jobs where he could find them, but he also took the kids to school and picked them up; did all the cooking, shopping and laundry; and helped the kids with their homework. As one of our best friends said, instead of having a wasted year, he turned it into a bonus year.

I'm thankful that today is Election Day, because too many other countries have no such day.

I'm thankful that my eight-year-old daughter, the Peanut Butter Kid, has croup. Because I was really scared that it was pneumonia. So actually croup seems really freaking awesome.

And here's an update thingie: Babble has given me the opportunity to write some "sponsored posts" for Strollerderby. Basically this means that a company is paying me to write something that mentions their product. I want you to know that I will never do a sponsored post for something I don't actually love in real life. The posts will clearly indicate that they're sponsored.

Right now I've got one going for Target, which is truly my favorite store in the whole history of ever. It's stuff like interviewing my kids about what kind of holiday clothes they actually enjoy wearing. I'm still totally writing it from my perspective--sensory processing and motor planning issues abound in our clothing selections.

I also have a sponsored campaign in the works for Xbox. Basically, I was given an Xbox 360 with Kinect, plus four controllers and a bunch of games, and then I get paid to review games and whatnot. Um, getting paid to play video games? I can totally do that! My kids are now convinced that I have the best. job. ever. and they are right.

xoxo,
SRMM

Weekly Ketchup: This Week's Words Are 'Malarkey' and 'Batshit'

2012-10-12T13:44:00.003-05:00

If you watched last night's debate, you may have noticed that both candidates constantly interrupted each other and the moderator. The Pork Lo Maniac's sympathetic comment on that was: "Maybe they have ADHD?"

If you missed the debate, or if you just want to re-live all the snarky highlights, you can check out my re-cap of last night's vice presidential debate on Redbook's Mamarama: Vice Presidential Debate Re-Cap: All the Snarky Fun You Want in a Potential Leader of the Free World. Last night's debate was super awesome compared to last week's snoozefest of a presidential debate. That debate is summarized in a NickMom post, How Last Night's Debate Was Just Like Last Night's Dinner With My Kids.

Both Vice President Joe Biden and Rep. Paul Ryan used the word "malarkey," which is fun to say. In fact, today I'm going to respond to as many Facebook statuses as possible with "that's a bunch of malarkey." There were also plenty of good zingers, which I compiled in the Mamarama post.

Honestly, I really don't normally like to write about politics. However, I do like to write about funny things... things that are funny "ha-ha" and things are funny "batshit crazy." Inevitably, that means that once in a while political stuff will come up.

Also, I usually make a point of not swearing in my writing, but sometimes certain cuss words are just the right choice. In this instance, the word batshit. For those of you offended by bat excrement, I'm sorry. It's one of my favorite words, but I won't make a habit of using it (in print).

All of this leads up to a post I have today over at Strollerderby that used to be titled The Top 5 Most Batshit Insane Political Candidates of 2012 but is now titled The Top 5 Most Completely Bonkers Candidates of 2012.

But because you're special (and because on my own blog I can say batshit batshit batshit as much as I like), you get the original image here. Bonus: even though I changed the image, the original lives on on Pinterest.

More fun stuff on Babble:
10 Hilarious Moms Share Their 'Mom-Shaming' Pics
OMG: Christopher Walken, Colin Farrell, and Sam Rockwell Re-Enact Honey Boo Boo (Video)
Good News: Your Kid Is About To Be Even More Addicted to Angry Birds (11 Angry Birds Star Wars Toys I Totally Want)
WAHM: 10 Moms Follow Their Passions in Work-at-Home Jobs
10 Ways to Save Money in Your Home Office
Cat Shaming: 12 Hilarious Pics of Bad Kitties

You know how sometimes you're like,
"that wine has my name on it"?
My awesome friend Ronna bought this wine
for a NickMom "house party"!

More fun stuff on NickMom:
How Lohan Family Drama Is Just Like My Family Drama
Facebook Mom: Annoying DIY Super-Crafty Halloween Costume Mom. I totally wrote this about myself. I am making all their costumes because I'm insane.
Mom's Shopping List: Carol Brady Mom! We're out of knee socks!

Speaking of NickMom, has anyone seen any of the TV shows yet? I'm seriously in love with What Was Carol Brady Thinking?

Why Does the Insect Kingdom Hate Me So?

2012-10-04T12:21:00.000-05:00

Snidely Mosquito. You can tell it's evil because
it has a top hat and a walking stick.

I don't know what I've done to piss off the entire Insect Kingdom, but it hates me.

Maybe they're still angry about the Battle of the Fire Ants when we lived in Texas. Those effing things were actively trying to kill me, so I fought back with a few different approaches:

1. Boiling water.
2. Boiling water and corn meal, which was supposed to make them explode, but instead made grits for them to snack on, so they had a big party and invited their friends, leaving beer cans and used condoms in the bushes and giving me the finger every time I walked by.
3. Incredibly toxic chemicals that probably permanently poisoned the water supply of Ft. Bend County, Texas (sorry about that).

I regret nothing, because every time I tried to weed, the things would swarm, and even one fire ant would leave me with swollen, oozing wounds:

The result of the Battle of the Fire Ants, which will surprise absolutely no one, is that toxic chemicals are the only way to go, and even those didn't entirely eliminate the little bastards.

That was in 2010. Things settled down for a while after that, but apparently the insect world was just laying low, plotting.

In the summer of 2011, there was the incident which is now referred to The Incident Which We Shall Not Speak of Because Otherwise I Can Never Eat Grapes Again.

That incident, detailed and crappily photographed in my post, Speaking of Emergencies Every Five Minutes, involved my daughter finding a live black widow spider in a bag of grapes in our refrigerator.

Not only did I kill that spider, I froze it to death, because I was afraid to squish it. Mostly, I was afraid that I'd try to squish it, I'd miss, and it would skittle away and I'd never find it and then we'd have to move.

There was the time last fall when I was driving to Target and realized that a praying mantis was crawling across the windshield, inside the car. And then it just parked itself on my visor and clung upside down, smiling at me. Even knowing it was a harmless praying mantis, it's really hard to concentrate on driving with a bug looking at you.

When I got to Target, I let the thing loose in some landscaping. And all was right with the world, I thought.

And then yesterday a motherpucking wasp was crawling along the inside of my windshield. What the hell? Is my minivan cursed? Is there some kind of bug party always going on somewhere behind the odometer?

Also, the wasp had only one wing, which made it more intimidating. Like it had already tangled with someone and survived.

I then drove the longest six blocks of my life to my house, with a wasp right in my field of vision. I have no idea why I didn't just pull over and kill the damn thing. I think I was too busy swearing to think of that.

Here's a photo of the wasp from inside my car, once I had safely parked:

I know. I'm totally due for some kind of photojournalism award soon. Or maybe a Xanax. Whatever.

I ran in and got a giant was of paper towels, and bravely attempted to get the thing out of my car. Then I looked at the paper towels and realized the thing was still alive, and then I screamed like a ~~little girl~~ 39-year-old mom who has a live wasp on a paper towel in her hand.

And so, just like Harry Potter, the one-winged wasp lived. So, we're even now, right Insect World?

Wrong.

Yesterday evening, high off surviving my brush with death/interaction with a decrepit wasp, I went on a couple errands. In the process, I was bitten by a mosquito.

First of all, it's effing October. Those things need to go ahead and die already. But it was 80 degrees and humid, and the mosquitoes were out for their last hurrah, and I got five or six mosquito bites on my left arm.

You know that vein you can see on the underside of your wrist? Snidely Mosquito bit me right there. And apparently gross mosquito spit went a-flowin' all up my arm through that vein, because all of a sudden I was having a systemic reaction. My arm swelled up and hives started showing up from my palm to my elbow.

Don't hate me because my kitchen floor is so beautiful.

Neat.

I used hydrocortisone and iced the bite, and then my throat started to feel weird, so I took two Benedryl, and that seemed to resolve things pretty well. Yes, if it had progressed any further I would have gone to the ER. I'm sure I wouldn't have sounded like a crazy lady at all demanding emergency treatment for a mosquito bite.

Like I have time for anaphylaxis.

What else is going on?

NickMom
OMGOMGOMGOMG NickMom is now television. Not just a blog. It's tee-vee. There are four new shows, made just for you (yes, you), and my favorite one is "What Was Carol Brady Thinking?" where a little Carol Brady bobblehead pops up and snarks on the show. It's like an awesome cross between VH1's Pop-Up Video and Mystery Science Theater, except with more knee socks. Here, I wrote a little thing in honor of it: What Carol Brady Is Really Saying.

On NickMom the blog, I'm snarking on Chanel's crazy-ass runway purse, and hoping that Drew Barrymore's new baby girl waits until at least age eight to have her rebellious teen phase.

Babble
On Babble Pets, there's a video of cats listening to "Gangnam Style" and the 20 Most Adorable Etsy Halloween Costumes for Dogs (my fave: Chia Pet).

On Strollerderby, there's a slideshow I think you're really going to like: The Most Geektastic Halloween Costumes for Kids and Babies (my faves: Baby Mandrake from Harry Potter and Young Dwight Schrute from The Office).

Also, The Weather Channel is naming winter storms now and I'm pretty sure my kids supplied all the names. (Winter Storm Draco! Squee!)

And last but not least, my friend and fellow autism mama Rachel Kenyon is shaving her head in support of her sister-in-law, who is battling breast cancer.

(Photo Credits: Mosquito: Wikimedia Commons with added nonsense by SRMM. Winter Storm Draco: Joslyn Gray for Strollerderby. All others: SRMM)

You Are Wonder Woman

2012-09-28T16:13:00.002-05:00

So, the other day, this photo came across my Facebook feed:

And all I could think was, I bet that's exactly how I look at IEP meetings. Well, not exactly. I mean, I don't usually go for quite that much cleavage at IEP meetings. But you know I do have that Wonder Woman bracelet I wear for IEP meetings. Look:

It got me to thinking about what an epic mom Wonder Woman would be. I bet nobody would mess around and blow off her kid's speech therapy.

So I captioned some Wonder Woman photos. Like this:

And this:

There's a whole bunch more of these photos over at Strollerderby. Please click here to check them out!

Katie Couric Is My BFF For Realsies

2012-09-26T17:56:00.000-05:00

Me and my BFF, Katie.

Mostly, my big news is that I got to meet Katie Couric, which was awesome, because Katie was already my BFF (in my head). We've been super good friends (in my head) ever since my twins were born and I started watching the Today Show like it was a freaking cult.

But I could totally tell that we really are BFFs because she kept looking at me during the taping. It was definitely because we have this amazing psychic connection, and not because the camera was over by me and/or she was blinded by the glare of my sweaty forehead.

Katie Couric in real life is, if you can believe it, even more charming than she appears to be on television. In between segments she was goofy and funny and self-deprecating. Also, I learned that Katie changes out of her fierce high heels into flats as soon as she's backstage. So basically, she's Mr. Rogers. Somehow, this makes her even more charming.

I was invited to come to a taping of her show, Katie, because of my coverage of youth sports and concussion. They even set me up with wifi so I could live-tweet the episode.

Live tweeting the show with fellow blogger
Lisa Duggan of the parent du jour.

Besides learning about Katie Couric's shoes and that the "green room" really is green, I learned a LOT of interesting things that day. Probably the most important thing I learned is that kids shouldn't be heading the ball in soccer until they're at least 14. Little Dude is going to try soccer this fall, and the last thing he needs is his brain rattled around.

Also, I learned that when I actually keep my laptop on my lap for an hour, it gets wicked hot and I become unpleasantly sweaty. In related news, we could absolutely solve the world's energy crisis if only we could harvest the oil produced by my forehead.

After the show was finished taping, I got to interview/stalk all the guests back in the green room. I got to discuss the development of myelin in kids' brains with Dr. Robert Cantu, and talk with teenagers who had suffered concussions and then made a really awesome PSA video about it.

And I met Joan Pelly, whose son Eric died at age 18 after suffering multiple concussions in youth sports. After his death, he was diagnosed with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) by the Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy, the same “brain bank” that posthumously diagnosed CTE in college football player Owen Thomas and NFL player Junior Seau.

Deep in conversation with Katie. Side note:
she's wearing like four-inch heels and I'm in flats.

I'm not usually one for daytime TV. With my girl Holly Robinson Peete not on The Talk anymore, what's the point? But I was super impressed with Katie. It's smart. The experts didn't dumb it down. She's talking about things that matter. Fingers crossed they'll have me back, and maybe let me yap about autism one day.

In more important stuff, I'm continuing to keep tabs on Paul Corby's situation. He's the young man who needs a heart transplant, but was denied placement on the transplant list in part because he has autism. Paul is scheduled to be evaluated by a different transplant center next month. In the mean time, a coalition of disability advocacy groups is pushing for the U.S. government to issue legal guidance to transplant facilities to ensure that patients with disabilities aren't victims of discrimination.

The set of Katie.

I can't say enough good things about the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN), and its president and co-founder, Ari Ne'eman. Ari is this amazingly smart guy who happens to have Asperger Syndrome. He was appointed by President Obama to the National Council on Disability, making him the first person with a disability to be appointed to the Council. Ari's whole focus with ASAN is "nothing about us without us," and he is relentless in pursuing equality for people with disabilities.

Ari was one of the people who recently met with senior staff at the US Department of Health and Human Services, Division of Transplantation, to urge that HHS issue strong, unequivocal legal guidance to transplant facilities, detailing their responsibilities under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I'll keep you posted as things develop.

It would probably make more sense for me to do a "weekly catch-up" on a Friday, but whatever. To make up for it, today I'm sorting my writings into helpful categories like WTF, OMFG, and OMGWTF.

WTF
Nooooooo: Worldwide Bacon Shortage 'Unavoidable,' Says Trade Group But I've got the steps you should take now to protect your family from this horror.
WTF: Hiring Image Consultants for Sorority Rush Is a Thing Which is surprising, since I'm handing out advice for free. Advice like, "hey, how about not spending $8,000 for someone to tell you not to chew with your mouth open?"

OMFG
Dried Bull Penis Pet Treats Recalled, Has Nothing to Do With Inherent Skeeve Factor I take the really important angle on this news story, which is that OMFG people feed dried bull penises to their dogs.

OMGWTF
Fraternity Suspended After 'Alcohol Enema' Incident. Also known as "butt chugging." Hey college kids, please don't take party planning tips from Jackass.

Science That Justifies My "Parenting Style"
Kids Not Active Enough? Try More Video Games, Study Says

Actually Informational
Concussion Expert: No Tackling, Heading, or Checking Until Age 14
Must Watch: The Best PSA on Concussions Stars Teens, Not Pros
Why Checking Up on Coaches Is Every Mom's Job (on Katie Couric's website!)

Yay!
British Soldier Gives Birth on Front Lines: Top 9 Reasons She's Already Super-Prepared to Be a Mom

Actually Important Special Needs Stuff
Disability Advocacy Groups Push for 'Strong, Unequivocal' Legal Guidelines on Organ Transplants

Stuff to Distract You From Weeping for Humanity
Things That Will Brighten Up Your Day: 12 Animals Doing 'Jazz Hands' (Photos)
Epic Hermit Crab Migration Totally Looks Like Harry Potter Horcrux Cave
Why American Idol Totally Could Have Hired My Kid Instead of Nicki Minaj
Anna Paquin's "New Mom of Twins To-Do List"

(All photos courtesy of Katie.)

You Know What's More Interesting Than What the Candidates' Wives Are Wearing? Anything.

2012-09-07T16:07:00.001-05:00

I also don't care what color nail polish they're wearing.

Today I saw my millionth headline about what Ann Romney and Michelle Obama have been wearing. Really, people? Don't we all have more pressing issues?

Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Romney are both very intelligent, capable women. I'm far more interested in their causes than their clothes. You can check out my post on Babble today: This Just In: I Don't Give a Crap What Michelle Obama and Ann Romney Are Wearing for a little more ranting and to find out about what they'd both do with the very visible position of being First Lady.

But of course, neither Michelle Obama nor Ann Romney is running for office. On Tuesday, November 6, 2012, we'll elect either Mitt Romney or Barack Obama as President.

I don't care who you vote for.

I mean, I do, but mostly, I just want you to vote.

If you're not registered to vote, you can register to vote using the form on the right column of my blog. The registration gadget is paid for by the Barack Obama campaign, but the form allows you to register as any party, or no party.

If you don't know where to vote, you can use the League of Women Voter's nonpartisan website, SmartVoter, to find your polling place. Not only will it tell you your voting location, but it will tell you all the races this year for your district.

SmartVoter also answers all kinds of questions about voting, and as we get closer to the election, it'll have very clear info on where each candidate stands on every major issue. No fluff, no sound bites, just what you need.

Many states now require a photo ID when you go to vote. To find out what, if any, ID requirements your state has, you can visit the National Conference of State Legislatures website here. You don't need to be a driver to get a state-issued ID card. Every state issues non-driver's license photo identification cards -- usually they're issued at the DMV or wherever people get driver's licenses in your state.

Women fought to gain the right to vote in 1920. In 2008, 66 percent of eligible women actually voted, according to the CDC. And even though that's kinda lame, it gets worse:

Of women age 25 to 44 who were registered, about 64 voted. But so many of those women aren't even registered, only 55 percent of women 25-44 who could have voted, did.

Look, ladies. I know you're busy. I know you're up to your eyeballs, in fact. But taking your kids to the polls is actually a really fun, free activity.

To be able to vote in November, the deadline to register to vote is October 26.

Ten Random Things About Today

2012-09-06T08:49:00.000-05:00

Mad-Eye Moody Cat. (via Cheezburger)

Some random observations about my morning so far:

1. Holy day-before-the-first-day-of-school meltdowns, Batman.

2. My husband and Little Dude decided to engage in something called a "sweat-off" this morning. I think the girls and I are the losers in this challenge.

3. The kids are currently forming their own Dueling Club. Must have own wand. Related: today's echolalia password is "EXPELLIARMUS!"

4. Getting four kids to try on last year's school pants should be an Olympic event.

5. Our school district, in its infinite wisdom, has seen fit to make the first day of school a half-day, and a Friday. Because that totally makes sense.

6. I have a post on Babble in which I respond to another writer's statement that motherhood is not, in fact, the hardest and most important job in the world. Here's a tiny clue as to how I responded: the writer (who I normally really like), Jessica Valenti, is married with one child, born in 2010. So, yeah. I adore being told by a new mom to free myself “from the expectations and the stifling standards that motherhood-as-employment demands.” My post is here: Actually, Motherhood Is the Toughest Job I've Ever Loved.

7. The Pork Lo Maniac and Cookie start middle school tomorrow. I am totally pretending to be excited for them.

8. The Peanut Butter Kid is entering 3rd Grade and/or Pre-Med Studies tomorrow. It's unclear which.

9. Little Dude is entering First Grade tomorrow. He is not pleased at all. However, we met the (awesome) teacher ahead of time and there are (gasp!) Legos in the classroom, so there's that.

10. Blood work determined that my thyroid is only slightly effed up and most of my problems right now are from anxiety. I either need to run for an hour a day or up my meds. I'm trying the running first.

Some other posts of mine you may want to check out:

On Strollerderby, News for Parents
Parents: Teacher Should Be Fired for Participating in School Bullying Caught on Tape (Video)
Everybody Panic: Asthma Inhalers May Stunt Children's Growth Permanently
Question: Is Your Tooth Fairy Cheaping Out or Overspending?

On NickMom
In the News: Kids Eastwooding
Snooki's New Mom To-Do List
Not mine but they both have me crying laughing: Live-Tweeting Pre-K Registration and Live-Tweeting Back to School Shopping

On Babble Pets
Dancing Chihuahua: A Double Feature (Video)
14 Pets That Are Ready for Some Football!

Thyroiditis Part 3: The Annoying Summer Sequel I Did Not Want

2012-08-16T13:26:00.000-05:00

This is the summer sequel I wanted.
(Image: f-yeahstruttingleo)

I feel like crap. And since I try to model non-whiny behavior for my kids, I'm trying not to whine and whinge around the house constantly.

Therefore, I'm going to whine here. Because really, what is a blog if not a place to whine about the crap your family is tired of hearing about? That's pretty much the definition of a blog, now that I think about it.

Last week I came down with some kind of virus. It involved all the symptoms of meningitis, except not nearly as severe. It was "Meningitis Lite." I ended up calling my doctor over the weekend, and he agreed that whatever I had was viral, and not serious enough to be bacterial meningitis in any case, which is the bad kind of meningitis. However, he said that if I got worse, I should go immediately to the Emergency Room for a spinal tap.

It kind of got better, although not all the way better, and then it got worse. And I developed new symptoms, like joint pain in my fingers and toes, insomnia, and feeling like I'm constantly on the verge of a panic attack. All of which are suspiciously reminiscent of last summer's epic adventure, Thyroiditis: A Not Entirely Fictional Disease, and its irritating sequel, Thyroiditis Part 2: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis vs. Godzilla.

So, I feel worse, but obviously, the last thing I'm interested in doing on a sunny Thursday morning (or ever) is getting a spinal tap. Cookie had to get one at age 2, and I can still hear the screams in my head. So I went to my doctor instead, who said that

a) Whatever the virus is or was, it's not a meningitis.

b) It may have triggered a flare, or relapse, of the Hashimoto's. Blood work and good times ahead!

I believe we can infer the following:

a) It's very likely that I have Blue Shadow Virus, a bioweapon used in The Clone Wars. Basically, any time anyone in my family is sick, it's Blue Shadow Virus. Sometimes it's healing to play this level in Lego Star Wars III: The Clone Wars, but not always. Help me, Padmé Amidala, you're my only hope.

b) My body, much like Hollywood, is incapable of coming up with new ideas, and instead is recycling the same crap I didn't want to see in the first place.

This year, the part of Hashimoto's Thyroiditis will be played by Strutting Leo.

Which reminds me of this thing I saw and wanted to show you, and then forgot because I haven't been taking my Adderall, and then remembered.

This:

Image: Memebase

Anyway, back to the whining.

On the up side, it's summer so I don't have to schlep the kids back and forth to school while feeling like crap. On the down side, it's summer, so I have to act as translator, referee, injury-preventer, and social scheduler, while listening to constant echolalia, opening food packages for people with fine motor delay, and feeling like crap. A lot of the echolalia, by the way, involves the movie Oliver!

I know you're totes jealous and wish that you, too, could listen to the same two lines of "You've Got to Pick a Pocket or Two" over and over and over and over and over. Although many of you have kids with echolalia, so perhaps you are already listening to those same two lines, in which case, you may borrow my noise-cancelling headphones.

Also, I randomly have swimmer's ear at the same time as all this. I just had to have drops in my ear for the first time in my life, and now I see why kids hate it so much. Man it feels icky to have stuff slime-ing around in your ear.

Yeah, I know it's not like things are all that bad. There are people with way worse problems. But sometimes, you just gotta vent a bit, so that you don't (allegedly) start throwing frozen fish sticks at your neighbors who will not stop swearing so loud in their backyard that I can hear it inside my house with the windows closed.

So there's my whine for the day. Would you like to whine? It's rather satisfying. Please whine in the comments below.

Is Autism a Reason to Deny a Heart Transplant?

2012-08-07T19:36:00.002-05:00

Paul Corby
(Photo courtesy of the Corby family.)

Paul Corby, a 23-year-old Pennsylvania man, needs a heart transplant.

He has a rare, congenital heart condition called Left Ventricular Noncompaction (LVN).

Paul's father died of a stroke at age 27 due to undiagnosed LVN. Paul has already had three mini-strokes. His heart ejection fraction (the ratio of blood pumped through his heart) is only 20 percent.

Paul's cardiologist referred him to Penn Medicine at Radnor, part of the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania.

The transplant center at Penn Medicine decided not to put Paul on the heart transplant list, in large part because he is autistic.

Yes, you read that right.

Paul Corby was denied placement on the heart transplant list because he's autistic.

Paul's mother, Karen Corby, has been trying to get media attention for over a year. By chance, one of my blog readers forwarded her change.org petition to me.

Paul's case echoes that of Amelia Rivera, a a four-year-old girl with Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome, who was initially denied a kidney transplant by the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) because (and I'm quoting from the hospital's documentation here) she is "mentally retarded." I'm taking it as a good omen that today I got the good news that Amelia will be getting her kidney after all. (With Transplant Approved by Hospital, Amelia Rivera's Mom to Donate Kidney)

Amelia's situation turned around after blog posts, social media, mainstream news outlets, and a change.org petition created a PR nightmare for CHOP. That change.org petition was started by my pal Sunday from Adventures in Extreme Parenthood, by the way.

CHOP, a hospital I hold close to my heart for saving Little Dude's life, has since apologized to the Rivera family for how it handled Amelia's case, and has changed its policies. Legislation was passed in Amelia's home state in New Jersey that would penalize any hospital that denied a transplant to a patient on the basis of intellectual disability.

Now, I'm not a doctor, and I don't even play one on TV, but it strikes me as both unethical and discriminatory to use autism as an exclusionary factor in deciding who gets an organ transplant.

Paul's story needs to be shared like Amelia's was. This needs to be addressed, and on a national level. As our kids get older, they are going to need healthcare and medical treatments that have nothing to do with autism. People age. They get diseases and disorders. Things fall apart. Sometimes, people need new organs.

Will your child be able to get an organ transplant if he or she needs one? Will mine?

I interviewed both Paul and Karen Corby, as well as leading national bioethicists, for my post on Strollerderby. The Corbys gave me permission to share the actual letter from the transplant facility that lists autism as a factor in deciding not to give Paul a transplant.

As hard as it is for us, as parents, to see things like that in black and white, please take the time to read and share the full article, Family: Young Man Denied Heart Transplant Because He's Autistic.

Please take the time to sign and share Karen Corby's petition on change.org, Help My Autistic Son Get a Life-Saving Heart Transplant.

As a human being, I'm appalled. As the mother of two kids on the spectrum, I'm terrified.

Haiku For You

2012-07-27T15:01:00.000-05:00

The English major in me was delighted to discover recently that haiku is a trend. Specifically, haiku by and for parents is a trend, and it's all over social media these days.

How cool is it that poetry is a trend? Maybe this fall everyone will be dressing like Emily Dickinson.

I collected a bunch of my favorite haiku parenting poems over on Strollerderby, and then I got so caught up in the excitement that I wrote a few of my own.

For another haiku by me, and a bunch by other awesome moms and dads, check out my post, Parenting Haiku: Poetry for the Twitter Generation on Strollerderby.

Weekly Ketchup: It's All About Viral Videos and Stupid Animal Pics Today

2012-07-20T16:14:00.000-05:00

First of all, the actual news today is just so horrible, I can't even deal. So instead I decided to just bring you as many stupid, funny, viral videos as possible.

Go ahead and distract yourself with:

'Call Me Maybe' being covered by a bunch of awesome U.S. Marines stationed in Afghanistan.
Attempt not to grin. Go ahead. Attempt.

'Call Me Maybe' performed (sort of) by the cast of all six Star Wars movies.
It wasn't called "Luke, I Just Met You, And This Is Crazy, But I'm Your Father, So Join Me Maybe?" but obviously it should have been. People really need to call me when they need help like that.

A 'One Direction' spoof for moms who rock out in minivans.
It's just like me except her van isn't covered in juice boxes 'n' crap. Oh and also, I'd be belting out, like, Dexy's Midnight Runners or something, not New Directions, or One Direction, or whatever it is. And also I wouldn't care who hears me. And also my kids would be singing along. And also she has better hair.

A little girl apparently taming a lion through zoo glass.
Or maybe he just wants her stuffed animal. I'm not sure.

And, last but not least in the viral video department, today the

Oregon Dental Association won the Internet with a parody entitled "Teach Me How to Brushy."

Oh right, like I'm the only mom who's going to be busting out some moves while the kids get ready for bed tonight.

Yeah, sorry, you have to click over to Strollerderby for all of those. I'm sure it's irritating but mama needs to earn her page hits.

This week, NickMom also re-ran the "Platonic Friendship Day" video, which I wrote the script for! I'm not sure why they're re-running a Valentine's Day thing in July. I guess my screenwriting is seasonless or something. Or maybe they're so sick of all this heat, they're pretending it's winter. In any case, if you missed it the first time, here it is again:

Memos From Your Class Parents - Platonic Friendship Day
Get More: Memos From Your Class Parents - Platonic Friendship Day

Want more distraction from reality? Go check out:

25 Signs Your Family's Obsessed: The Very Best Batman Geekery of the Interwebz. I think some 5-year-old girl named Molly is my new BFF. That cake is EPIC.

and

18 Animals Dressed Up As Batman Characters. Dudes, there's a freaking Meerkat Batman. So there.

If you seriously still can't bear to focus on the laundry, or parenting, or whatever you're supposed to be doing, you can always visit my new Pinterest page.

I'm sure I wrote serious stuff this week, too, but screw that. I'm all for stupid videos and animal pics today.

xoxo,
SRMM

Paper Dolls, Popularity, and Sunblock: My Kids Take on the 'Sexy Dolls' Study

2012-07-19T14:54:00.001-05:00

Two-thirds of girls aged 6 to 9 said they'd like to
look like the girl on the right.
Neat.

A barf-inducing study out of Knox College in Illinois, published in the psychology journal Sex Roles, says that girls as young as six want to look "sexy." The study, which involved 60 girls aged six through nine, looked at how media consumption and maternal influence influence young girls' self-sexualization.

The upshot of the study, provocatively titled Sexy Dolls, Sexy Gradeschoolers? is pretty much that as moms, everything is either our fault or our success, depending on which doll your kid picked, I suppose. The good news is that even if your kid watches a crapton of television, that in itself won't make your kid want to look like a Bratz doll.

However, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and wager that if you yourself want to look like a Bratz doll, that's probably going to trickle down. Also probably if you buy these Halloween costumes.

You can read all about the study here on Strollerderby. I even got to interview the lead researcher!

Here on SRMM, I thought I'd take a look at what my own kids had to say about the dolls. Researchers asked the girls four questions: which paper doll they thought looked more like them, which paper doll they'd rather look like, and which paper doll they'd rather play with. They also told the girls a neutral little story about "Leila," a girl who is popular at school, and then asked, "which doll is Leila?"

The study involved girls aged six through nine. Two of my daughters would have aged out of the study, but I'm interviewing them anyway. Also, boys weren't included, but Little Dude has lots to say about what girls wear, it turns out. The study didn't allow for commentary or discussion; it just had girls choose one or the other. My kids, of course, gave commentary.

The Peanut Butter Kid, Age 8:

Two-thirds of the girls thought the doll on
the left would be more popular.

The Peanut Butter Kid is actually the only one of my kids who was in the target demographics for this study.

Which doll looks more like you? PBK chose the more modestly dressed one, although she said that if it was a hot day, she would wear shorts. "But the shorts would have to be longer. And there needs to be more shirt."

Which doll would you rather look like: PBK chose the more modestly dressed doll. "I don't want to wear just a little skirt and a bra. I think that's a little too little."

Which girl looks like she'd be more popular at school? "To the popular girls, it would be this one [points to the skimpy-dressed one], and in my world, it would be the other one. Not a lot of my friends would be wearing that kind of stuff."

Which doll would you rather play with? PBK chose the one with the skimpy outfit. "I like playing with the dolls and making them say [this next part is in a Sharpay / Valley Girl voice] 'Yah, that is totally in.' In my game, she would be a fashiony mean girl. Some people I know are kind of like that. Sometimes that's just how people are."

Cookie, Age 11:
Which doll looks like you? Cookie chose the more modestly dressed one.

Which doll would you rather look like? Cookie chose the more modestly dressed one. "It looks more comfortable, and also I don't want people to think of me as a popular girl. I want people to think of me as just awesome."

Which doll looks like she's more popular at school? Cookie chose the skimpily dressed one. "It seems like the girls who are popular and have more popular friends, all they care about is fashion and how they look. But it shouldn't be that way. Popularity should be about your personality, having a kind heart, and loyalty."

Which doll would you rather play with? Cookie chose the more modestly dressed one. "The games I play don't usually require a girl who looks like the other one."

Little Dude, Age 6:

First of all, I had to answer a bunch of questions for him about those red lace-up sandals before we could even have a conversation. (Did I cover those sandals in my Top Ten Skankeriffic Sandals My Daughters Will Not Be Wearing This Summer?)

Which doll looks more like your sisters? Little Dude chose the more modestly dressed doll.

Which doll would you like your sisters to look like? Little Dude chose the more modestly dressed doll, "because I don't want them to be really fashionable, or like girly-girls." Little Dude is also very uncomfortable when his sisters even wear bathing suits because it looks like underwear and people can see it. The Professor and I look forward to one day sending Little Dude along on the girls' dates as a chaperon.

Everything you need to know about
social hierarchy
can be learned from Sharpay.

Which doll would be more popular at school? He chose the girl in the skimpy outfit, "because she has that fancy stuff." He noted, however, that he wouldn't choose to sit next to that one at lunch, because "she looks mean." He would sit next to the more modestly dressed one, because "she looks nicer."

Which doll would you rather play with? Little Dude chose the more modestly dressed doll. "She looks nicer."

Pork Lo Maniac, Age 11

Which doll looks more like you? PLM chose the more modestly dressed doll, "because that's how I dress."

Which doll would you rather look like? PLM chose the more modestly-dressed one, "because then I have less of a chance of getting skin cancer."

Which doll would be more popular at school? "It depends. Either one could be popular. The [one in the skimpy clothes] might be popular for getting in trouble. And because people would be gossiping, 'Did you hear Leila got in trouble?' Or it could be the other one. She could be popular, just because she's popular."

The researchers of the actual study found that girls as young as six had figured out that looking sexy is your ticket to popularity, and most of the girls wanted to look like the sexy, popular girl.

In my research, I found that my kids think:

Dressing "fashionable" and "fancy" makes you popular.
Popular girls are mean.
The popular girls are possibly from another planet.
Popular girls talk like Sharpay from High School Musical.
Short-shorts look like they give you wedgies.
Belly shirts should come with sunblock.

It's worth noting that nowhere in these conversations does the word "sexy" come up. My kids thought of the skimpy outfit as "fancy" or "fashion-y."

You know, I'm more disturbed by the whole mean popular girl thing than I am by the skanky outfits thing. Our culture gives girls a clear message that being popular means being a self-absorbed mean girl. That's a shame, partly because it's not really true. I went to a pretty big high school, and the girl voted Prom Queen was just super nice, athletic, and smart. Sure, some of the girls in the "popular" clique (that group was called the "Preppies" back in the day) were kinda bitchy, but so were some of the girls in every other clique.

I'd love to be able to say my kids picked up the "popular girls are mean" attitude from me, but I really try not to say that stuff in front of them. I also never refer to other people's clothes as "skankeriffic" out loud. (Just in print.) I'd love to be able to say that learned it all from Sharpay.

But that isn't it at all: What's happened is that they've already met popular mean girls. That crap started in second grade, and was full-blown by the second half of fourth grade.

Again, you can read all about the actual study results over on Strollerderby. Click on Study: If Your 6-Year-Old Wants To Be 'Sexy,' It's Your Fault.

(Image Credits: Paper dolls: Christy Starr, Knox College. Sharpay: FanPop.)

Helpful To-Do Lists from Little Dude

2012-07-07T07:19:00.002-05:00

It just occurred to me that maybe Yoda
might have been a little Asperger-ish, what with that
black-and-white thinking.

Little Dude, like all my kids, is very understanding about my ADHD. They know that I constantly lose my cellphone (fun game: whoever finds Mommy's phone gets a quarter!), forget to buy things unless they're written down (and sometimes even when they are written down -- where's that list again?), and

In some ways, it's all good. Given how many important things I absolutely must remember (like dosing out the kids' meds), I've made a decision not to allocate brain power to things that are really their job to remember. I didn't sign your homework log last night and you got a 'mark' from the teacher? Well, that sucks. For you. It's your job to bring me the homework log to sign, because you're the one who's going to get the mark. This plan has already paid off in many ways: my anxious kid no longer freaks out about getting the dreaded 'mark,' and my ADHD kid actually remembers to bring me her log to sign. Win-win-win.

I'd like to pretend this is all part of some master parenting plan, but really I just can't remember every damn thing. Probably that's the case for all moms, but for those of us with ADHD, it means that if I try to remember to sign their homework log, I'll forget something like paying the water bill. Um, really.

Anyway, because my kids like to be helpful, and because Little Dude certainly doesn't want me to forget the things that really matter (to him), Little Dude has been making me these handy-dandy To Do Lists every day.

Here are a couple recent samples, in case you might find them helpful too.

On the off chance you can't decipher any of that, it goes like this:

Mom's To Do List

1. Go swimming

2. Do work

3. Play Lego Batman 2

4. Make dinner

5. Do work

6. Play Lego Batman 2

7. Put kids to bed

This would be funny except that really is my day. The next day's list gets a little more optimistic, though.

1. Wake up kids
2. Eat breakfast
3. Play a bit of Lego Batman
4. Do work
5. Complete Lego Batman 2

Sadly, we did not manage to complete Lego Batman 2 yesterday, so it's pretty clear that I've been slacking. To be fair, though, we did go swimming again, plus I had to get milk and pick up medications, so there were some last-minute additions to the agenda. I'll do my best to get back on track with Lego Batman 2 today.

Incidentally, we went swimming with The Domestic Goddess' family yesterday; she's got two kids on the spectrum, too. Seriously, with all the flapping and splashing between our two families, it's a wonder there's any water left in the pool.

Also? With as much swimming as my kids do, you'd think all that chlorine would have bleached the autism right out of them by now.

Too soon?

Happy News, Sibling Struggles, and a Plea for Advice

2012-07-04T09:53:00.000-05:00

Possibly my favorite photo in the whole history of ever.
(See more animals in other animals' ears on Babble Pets.)

So right off the bat, my happy news here is that my husband, The Absent-Minded Professor, is gainfully employed. As you may or may not recall, he was laid off last winter because, you know, Merry Freaking Christmas. I give him total props for taking every damn side job he could find in the mean time, and basically taking over all the house-related stuff while I took on more writing projects.

So, yay. No more COBRA payments!

I'm going to keep working my tail off with my writing stuff. I basically work more than full-time right now, and while freelance writing is never going to make us rich, I love what I do, and it allows me to work around important parenting tasks like mastering Lego Batman 2.

I love writing funny posts for NickMom that are short enough that moms can read them on their iPhones while going potty. That's particularly convenient if, like me, your bladder has been stomped on by multiple babies and now you're like one chuckle away from being a geriatric patient.

I love that I get to do stupid, funny stuff like 15 Animals Wearing Other Animals' Ears, because seriously, most of the news is horrible and sometimes you just need to look at a ferret wearing bunny ears. I'm not sure exactly what qualifies me to write for Babble Pets, except that I have two cats that I kind of tolerate and also I really like photos of animals wearing hats. I will do my best to bring you the very latest in pet-related news and stupidity.

Mostly, I love that I get to bring special education stories to a mainstream audience. When I write here, I know I'm pretty much preaching to the choir. I hope that in some small way, my work at both Redbook and Strollerderby brings a greater awareness about special needs issues to the neurotypical world. When I write about Holly Robinson Peete slamming 50 Cent for tweeting "you look autistic" and "I don't want no special ed kids on my time line," I hope it inspires everyone, not just parents of special ed kids, to keep fighting the good fight.

But I still need this. This blog. This community. Although I don't post as often, I need this place to vent about stuff that only you understand. Like trying to find another damn ounce of patience when your supply feels entirely depleted. Like trying to balance the immense needs of one child with the immense needs of another child. Like knowing that your neurotypical child kind of gets the shaft; you know it, and she knows it, and there's not a thing you can do about it right now except simply say I'm sorry, I know it's not fair.

That, right now, is the hardest thing for me. I can only attend to the squeakiest wheel for so long, because that very quiet wheel needs attention too. Cookie, who is 11 now and getting ready for sixth grade, is my highest-functioning kid right now. Her anxiety is well-managed, and she continues to develop better and better coping skills. And I feel like she gets ripped off because of it.

There are times when I'll ask her to do something, or give up something, simply because it's easier. I know she'll go along with it without having a meltdown. I try to take each of my kids out individually, even just to run to Target. I actually try to take Cookie out for one-on-one time just a tiny bit more than the others, because so often during the day my attention is elsewhere. That one-on-one time gives her my undivided attention, and honestly, a break from the meltdowns and stimming and anxiety of her siblings.

I know a lot of you have both special needs and typically-developing kids. What do you do? Please, please leave your suggestions in the comments, and I'll collect them into a post.

Oh, and a couple other fun things:

- Like some kind of gift from the gods, coffee now lowers your risk of skin cancer, which brings us one step closer to solving world peace, I'm pretty sure.

- I'm on Pinterest now, because of my deep commitment to bringing you nonsense in every available form of social media, and/or my deep commitment to garnering page clicks for my writing. I don't really know what I'm doing, but if you're a pinner, you can follow me at http://pinterest.com/starkravingmadm/.

Weekly Ketchup: You Will Never Have to Fight Off Hordes of Homophobes in the Cookie Aisle Again

2012-06-30T17:38:00.001-05:00

Here's what I've been up to lately:

On Strollerderby:

Ridiculous Homophobe Boycott of Oreos Leaves More Deliciousness for My Family Awesome news! You will no longer have to fight off hordes of homophobic morons in the cookie aisle while looking for America's favorite sandwich cookie. Homophobes, take note: You should totally boycott Facebook. And not just because Facebook publicly supports marriage equality. It's really that I'm just tired of seeing so many hateful comments on Facebook. I've also helpfully provided a nice long list of other companies homophobes will want to avoid, if they're going to really take a stand. Good luck with that, haters!

They're sinfully delicious! Get it?

Study: EEGs May Revolutionize Autism Diagnosis The most interesting thing about this is that some scientists think EEGs may also be used to monitor how effective therapies are.

Thanks for Always Looking Out for Me, Dad: 10 Hilariously Awkward Photos Yes, I realize Father's Day was ages ago. I haven't updated my blog in a while, have I?

If you missed it, this is probably my favorite thing I've ever written, in the whole history of ever: In Their Own Words: Adults on the Autism Spectrum Speak Out About Bleach 'Treatment.' It was such an honor and a privilege to talk with John Elder Robison, Ari Ne'Eman (president of Autistic Self Advocacy Network), Dr. Emily Willingham (Thinking Person's Guide to Autism), Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Tim Page, author Jennifer Cook O'Toole (Asperkids), Landon Bryce (thAutcast).

On NickMom:

Top 9 SpongeBob Quotes That Sound Dirty But Aren't. Seriously, I can't believe Nickelodeon lets me write this stuff. And yes, they're all real quotes.

Top 9 Mom Responses to 'Celebrity Exhaustion' Oh, Lindsay Lohan, you poor, poor thing. We feel your pain. Really.

News Flash: You Cannot Bleach the Autism Out of Your Kid

2012-06-07T11:32:00.000-05:00

I can't believe this is even a real thing, but an America woman who runs an "autism clinic" in Mexico spoke at AutismOne, advocating the use of a product that is essentially industrial bleach to clean the autism right out of your child.

The product she's talking about is Miracle Mineral Solution, which claims to cure AIDS, herpes, tuberculosis, and most forms of cancer, which certainly doesn't make the term "snake oil" pop in to your head at all.

They sell it on eBay, so it has to be good, right?

The dude who invented Miracle Mineral Solution, or MMS, says a scientific study performed by the government of Malawi on prisoners showed a 99% cure rate. Of what, exactly, we don't know, because that study data is nowhere to be found, and the government of Malawi denies any knowledge of this.

Oh, even more fabulous is that the MMS guy, Jim Humble, seems to be an archbishop in a church of his own devising. You can become a Doctor of MMS, or a minister in the church (or both, if you have the cash) through his seminars.

I wrote a pretty lengthy piece for Strollerderby about this whole situation. It took me forever to write because I kept crying.

You can check out my post on Strollerderby here: PSA: Please Don't Try to Bleach the Autism Out of Your Kid

And then, because so many of the children being subjected to this "treatment" are nonverbal and therefore can't voice their opinions on this, I interviewed some prominent adults on the spectrum to get their thoughts on MMS for a follow-up: In Their Own Words: Adults on the Spectrum Speak About Bleach 'Treatment' for Autism

Weekly Ketchup: In Which I May Have Made Some High-Powered Enemies

2012-05-31T06:57:00.000-05:00

Fine, it's been more than a week. But here's a summary of a few things I've done while I wasn't here.

On Strollerderby, I have a rant-y open letter to Jenny McCarthy about Playboy, vaccines, and self-promotion. There's also a photo of her pointing to her rack. I miss the good old days when just just rambled about her son being a "crystal child" with supernatural powers.

On a lighter note, I have a really fun slideshow of some of the most awkward family vacation photos in the whole history of time.

And probably most important of all, there's a double-feature of geektastic videos: the latest Star Wars Dance-Off with the Stars, and a hilarious Lego version of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance.

Over on NickMom, I have a post noting the many ways Kanye "I Only Eat Off Hermes Plates" West is exactly like a preschooler.

And in a post that went kind of viral-ish, I wrote for Redbook's Mamarama The Top Ten Reasons I Don't Care About TIME's Breastfeeding Cover.