An ominous soundscape experiment. Tinged with pulsing industrial noises with an other-wordly vibe.

I wanted to talk to someone about it, but didn’t know who. At times when I’m emotional and irrational (they naturally go hand-in-hand), it feels like I have a great many acquaintances, but not many friends I can turn to. The people you can just call up randomly, without a particular agenda, for no other purpose but just to chat about something tangible.

I do have a few friends I could’ve turned to, but there is this sweeping sense of bother, and pride, that butts in and prevents me from doing so. To talk about shit that’s bothering me. Why is it that I’m happy to share about mundane, seemingly insignificant rubbish on Twitter etc but not something that is all-too-important and meaningful? But maybe this is it. Maybe I just answered my own question.

My family know about the driving offence, but I didn’t really talk to them about the true nature of it all. Shit bit silly y’all.

I think about the ‘friends’ I’ve had over my life. I can’t help but think about how many were and are simply friends of convenience. Calling upon help when they needed assistance (“can you help me out with this assignment dude?”), but then not engaging on any other level or time. Then I wonder whether I’m the same kind of person — taking advantage of people when needed and then forgetting them later. Yes, I can recall some instances when I’ve done this myself — but it feels as though I haven’t been as bad as the others.

Anyway, this is just rambling. I almost didn’t publish this post. But you know what? I’ve decided that I should be authentic and honest.

Author’s Note

This post was originally written on 28th August, 2013 at approximately 8:34pm.

This very website drew its first breath years later than it should’ve – plainly because whatever design, whatever domain name I conceived, was simply not good enough. I must’ve gone through hundreds of domain name ideas and several design mockups, hundreds of thumbnail sketches until I finally decided to set aside my perfectionist tendencies and just fucking do it. In fact, when this website was launched, I picked an existing website design/theme and went with it. Yes, I know it’s not great even now, but it’s better than nothing. You know what else? I knew well during my dilly-dallying that the content mattered more than a shiny, bespoke design that virtually no one is going to bestow much attention to – yet I still delayed things, paralysed through overanalysis and outwardly ridiculous thresholds for quality.

Notably though, I’ll swallow the bittersweet pill of imperfection if there’s a deadline – but only if the deadline is set by a somewhat impersonal entity such an acquaintance, employer or university/school. Then not only do I get shit done and on time, but with a high calibre of output (or so I’m often told). What upsets me is my incongruence in applying this deadline strategy: If I’m doing work for a close friend or family member, then I’m often afflicted by the disease of oh, it’s okay if I can stretch the deadline get a better result or they’ll forgive me even if I take a long time and actually finish up procrastinating. Mo’ time, mo’ problems y’all.

So what prompted me to write this blog post? I was trying to compose a rap song and got stuck after a few bars (lines) and I couldn’t go past this sticking point. I wrote many other lines independently, but couldn’t stitch the other parts with the part I was flummoxed with. Nothing sounded right or good enough. After what felt like an age (I swear I felt my beard grow a few millimetres), I tapped out, mentally exhausted and frustrated about why I couldn’t break through.

Why am I writing this blog post? Because I haven’t written anything in a while.

P.S. This is all despite me having steadily shed my perfectionist inclinations since the mid-noughties.

P.P.S: I actually wrote this post on 28th December 2013 at approximately 6:15pm. I’m only publishing it now (7th May 2014) after months of neglect. Oh, the irony!

Footage courtesy Phil Fried

Hugs, there’s nothing quite like them. They can be used to communicate hello/goodbye, acceptance into a group, a desire to establish a friendship or a romantic interest. Hugs can also have meaning on all sorts of other levels, depending on the precise way the hug is delivered and accepted. Within an established relationship, hugs are can be a very effective way of communicating support, comfort, or desire.

The level of intimacy/good feels/acceptance communicated by a hug is connected to the timing of the hug, the intensity of the hug, and how relaxed the participants are during the hug. However, there needs to be a least some trust before both parties will enjoy a successful hug. This is because the very action of hugging requires a certain amount of vulnerability. How comfortable you are with a person hugging you would seem to be directly related to your relationship with them. Are they a friend, a lover or part of your family/group? If so you’re probably open to some sort of hugging.

Personally, I love hugs. To me hugs say so much in an instant that thousands of words would never come close to. I can remember once on a field trip, one of my fellow companions came up to a group of us and gave the girl next to me a hug. It went on for a good 20 seconds or so. I remember being jealous both of them; I wanted to be the one hugging someone. It was such an overwhelming urge. Even now, if I haven’t been hugged for a while I miss it.

Hugs have been around for as long as physical contact has been used to communicate, probably as long as we’ve been wondering around in groups. Physical connection is important in all societies but hugging is not always the primary form. Humans as a general rule seem to do it instinctively. However, it wasn’t until the last fifty years or so that we’ve have discovered what actually happens when people embrace.

In 1958, after noticing the attachment of baby monkeys towards the cloth covering the floor of their cages, a experiment was set up to determine the importance of physical affection. The baby monkeys were separated from their mothers soon after birth and were looked after by two artificial mothers. One mother provided food and the other provide touch. The baby monkeys overwhelming attached themselves to the ‘mum’ that provided touch. This indicates just how important emotional connection is for health.

Subsequent, research has shown that hugging reduces blood pressure, decreases heart rate, reduces cortisol (stress hormone), and increase oxytocin. Oxytocin is sometimes called the ‘bonding hormone’ due to the important part it has to play in promoting a sense of intimacy (Light 2005). Physical touch including hugging has been shown to activate parts of the brain associated with increasing attentiveness, decreasing depression and enhancing immune function (Field 2010). Hugging has even been linked with pain alleviation!

Types of hugs

Pound Hug or Bro Hug

This type of hug is typically used to show a sense of pride between two males. Often seen after various sporting achievements or when two blokes want to share a victory while still maintaining their manliness. If the hug is perceived to be too caring, the participants usually try to kill something soon after in order to protect their image. It’s predominately seen in western culture, as the rest of the world has a different perspective generally when it comes to masculinity.

The Man Hug

Following on from the pound hug is the man hug. The man hug is a normal hug, where genitals remain as far as possible away from each of the huggers, and the hug overall is pervaded by a sense of stiffness. This is because men, even friends, in Western culture do not relax around equals. If you are a straight white man, try it sometime; hug a bro and both of you consciously relax into it. Feels uncomfortable and weird right?!

The Standard Hug

The hugger and huggee embrace as enthusiastically as their comfort levels allow. May last for a good 20 or 30 seconds depending on level of intimacy and length of time the parties have gone without contact. Also, used to signal the beginnings of a friendship, acceptance into a group, or a greeting/goodbye.

The Side Hug

Promoted by religious groups in the 2009, a rap song performed by Ryan Pann talked all about this non-hug hug. A side hug is a hug where the hugger throws their arm around the shoulders of the huggee and pulls them into their side. A side hug happens when both parties are too awkward to risk anything below the waist getting entangled. Ryan Pann said later that his song was satire. Yeah. Right.

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I am faster than light
But none give me credit
I am the black canvas
On which you see the crescent
Meant to be together
The dirt to your shovel
I seek space as treasure
Modest, and ever so humble
Let me be clear: I am your friend
I am not your chief nemesis
I am meant to crawl into all crevices
From epilogue to genesis

Amateur hour!

Thought I’d try my hand at recreating/covering/rapping this blazing track by M-Phazes and Dialectrix. Dialectrix really slaughters this track with his ripping delivery (in the original version). Me? Not so much. There are a fair few issues and missteps in this take (altogether made more difficult to deliver in one take without a hype man). But thought it was fair enough — plus I had a heap of fun making this video!

Instrumental by M-Phazes
Lyrics by Dialectrix

Note: I do not endorse the content of these lyrics.

The hawks, eagles, buzzards, kites (and some other birds like storks)

The bird life in India is sweeping in its variety.

How readily people break into song

No, I don’t mean a Bollywood-style song-and-dance routine. I mean an audible song during times of quiet, such as in transit on a bus or auto.

People asking me for the time

Not everyone has or can afford watches.

The commonality of spitting (even passengers in buses)

The lack of footpaths/sidewalks

The monkeys

How bus conductors hold money notes between their fingers in that peculiar fashion

Tickets are actually purchased from a person on a bus who sells tickets. Donning a khaki outfit, he or she constantly moves around in the bus selling tickets to new passengers and also whistles (or shouts) to instruct the bus driver to start and stop the vehicle.

Such conductors typically carry notes in a fan-like arrangement in between their fingers, such that it’s almost like Wolverine’s claws — except it’s with brown Rupees instead of adamantium projections.

The dirt and smog

Dust will be kicked up everytime a lorry passed by. There’ll be noxious smoke filtering through as a pile of rubbish is burnt (used as method of disposal).

Street dogs lying about

Washing stones

You’ll witness clothes being bashed into cleanliness on stones especially designed for laundry.

Paying for the refrigeration of milk

Milk is commonly sold in packets, rather than cartons or bottles. You’ll often find that milk purchased later in the day is slightly more expensive than when purchased early in the day. The claim that shopkeepers make is that it costs money for the refridgeration.

The prevalence of shirts and formal trousers (slacks)

In non-posh areas like buses and public spaces, men tend to wear full-sleeve or half-sleeve shirts. Only some younger men tend to wear t-shirts. Similarly, there is tendency to wear pressed, and possibly cuffed, pants.

Lack of shorts being worn (except by kids and occasionally for casual physical activity)

Even when ridiculously hot, virtually no one wears shorts.

Interestingly though, many wear open footwear like sandals rather than shoes. I’d guess it’s for the convenience and comfort (but that doesn’t quite explain the lack of shorts).

The disappearance of the ‘squish’ horn in auto-rickshaws

Many of the squishy horns on autorickshaws that make noise by squishing air have been replaced of electronic equivalents. I kind of miss these guys and their cheerful ‘pom-poms’.

You can see the horn in action in this video:

The new Rupee symbol

Prior to this new rupee symbol in 2010, the abbreviation ‘Rs.’ was used. Having grown up in India in the 1990s, it took some time to adjust to the alien sign.

The prevalance of ads and Western corporations (e.g. KFC)

You can be in the remotest village, but you’ll still see a ‘Coca-Cola’ advertisement handpainteed on a wall. You’ll know it’s handpainted because it’s not quite proportional and the finish is imperfect (but often still beautiful).

The brownouts

Every so often, someone or something decides to the cut the power. Lifts stop working, fans cease into a standstill, dinner is delayed, mosquitoes attack (seizing this opportunity presented as electricity powered mosquito repellants require…umm…electricity to operate) and candles are brought out. I’m certainly glad that my phone has a flashlight feature.

How old-fashioned tech like stone grinders and mortar-pestles are still around

Even in brownouts, these things can still be operated!

The lack of prams/strollers

Babies and children have to be carried. You don’t realise how big of a task this is until you walk around bearing the weight of a baby for an hour (I’ve done this).

The amount of and attitude towards rubbish

There is so much trash everywhere. People litter without much concern. Garbage disposal sometimes means just throwing it outside. Some burn their trash. Seeing stray dogs, pigs, chickens and even people wandering through trash piles is not an uncommon sight.

The hustle of disabled and impaired people

It’s incredible to witness how disabled/impaired have adapted to the Indian environment. I saw a visually impaired couple board a bus together and negotiate the unruly Indian urban environment. Truly humbling. I have enough difficulty navigating India even with my lack of impairment!

Buses don’t really stop sometimes…or arrive on time

Note: I’ll only be considering exterior aesthetics.

Hyundai i45 (Sixth Generation, ~2009)

The sixth-generation released in 2009 is an astounding piece of work. The dramatic character/shoulder line that flanks the side profile and wraps around towards the taillights adds a feeling of movement and provides a three-dimensional quality to the vehicle. I’m usually not a fan of such tense lines (often it ‘pinches’ the flow of the car’s lines as your eye moves from the front-to-back and vice versa), but the i45 pulls it off with a sense of sophistication and elegance. The stretched back and extra third window gives it a sleeker, coupe-like character. Overall, the i45 possesses a solid road presence (especially when seen in the metal) combined with a design package that feels upmarket and stylish.

Lexus IS (2014)

The previous generation of IS, while being a wholesome design consisting of sharp edges and crisp motifs, were too plain. This generation accentuates the edges with more aggressive base line that follows onto the equally aggressive tail lights. The front fascia is also bolder and more divisive. The IS resembles origami folds and edges — which I think is a good thing, given its Japanese origins.

Holden VE Commodore 2006-2009 SS V

The gripes I had with VT, VX, VY and VZ series Commodores were the bulbousnousness, particularly with the rounded DayLight Opening (DLO) (i.e. windows), which made the design grotesque in appearance. This design nails the large, Commodore-esqueness from the previous generations, but with a defined crispness and cohesion. The DLO especially flows brilliantly with the car thanks to the curved shape with a flattened bottom that ties nicely with the beltline. Virtually every component gels really nicely with the other components. The side profile, tail lights and the subdued but notable wheel arches are especially well done. Interestingly, the wagon version is far more beautiful than the sedan (however, that’s for another blog post). The only criticism I could I provide is that the front bumper air intakes could’ve perhaps been more angular and aggressive. Altogether, a clean, well proportioned design.

Ford FG Falcon XR8

Alfa Romeo 159

Based on the widely acclaimed Alfa Romeo Brera, this is certainly a striking vehicle.

Aston Martin Rapide S

Kia Optima (Circa 2012)

Like the Hyundai i45, this feels like an upmarket car. A solid example of the ‘Tiger Nose’ design approach Peter Schreyer (designer at Kia) has pushed forward.

Volvo S60 (Second Generation, Circa 2012)

Mitsubishi 380

Jaguar XF-R (Circa 2012)

Mercedes-Benz CLS Class (Circa 2008)

Initially I found the CLS to be malformed, but after seeing it in the metal, I quickly changed my mind. It is a gorgeous set of wheels.

Mazda 6 (Third Generation; GJ series; Circa 2013)

Initially, I wasn’t hugely impressed. It was too large and the way the lines finished towards the rear was a bit unconvincing. However, having seen it many times in the flesh and on the screen, it has grown on me. This is is an outstanding design.

Tesla Model S (Circa 2013)

I’m not sure whether it’s a hatchback or sedan, but it certainly is sublime.