Step Away From the Cake

One inch forward

2026-10-28T04:41:06.866-07:00

I have got to keep that in mind. One inch forward progress every day. Yesterday I made just one inch and that's okay. It was kind of a big inch (if that makes sense). I discovered that PhotoRoom can post directly to my Shopify store. Um, hello??? I can create images in PhotoRoom and then have PhotoRoom create the listing and post it directly to Shopify. WTF??? Yes, I have to make some changes and add some things, but dude, the heavy lifting is done for me. I have fun creating photos in PhotoRoom and now will be able to post them right to Shopify. I am so in. I created 2 listings last night from work I had already done. Anything at all that makes this whole process easier, I'm there for. So that is my latest discovery. All these things exist to make life easier, I need to really start using them.

In other news, I have none. Just plugging through the week. I feel like my life is divided into two parts. One part is the work and the other part is the business. I try to keep them separate. When I'm at work I try to focus on work. When I'm at home I try to focus on the business. Doesn't always work. They both bleed over. But I guess that's expected.

Okay, I'm done for today. Need to get moving this morning.

Amazing

2026-10-27T04:39:40.371-07:00

what a little forward motion will do. 1 inch forward is the absolute truth and a real game changer. I have been in such a pit for a few months now. I have seriously considered just giving up on this art thing. I mean seriously. I really only hung in because it took too much to shut everything down. Then something this weekend just kind of kicked in. I sat at my computer on Friday or Saturday, I think it was Friday, and just starting making posts. Just started putting things out there again. For no reason. There was no plan. No intention. I just started posting. That little bit of movement caused some further movement. On Saturday I sat and cut out 12 ornaments. Then sat and put them all together. Saturday night I glued them all. Sunday morning I oiled them all. Took pictures of them all. Then sat last night updating my website for the first time in freaking months. Probably close to a year. Seriously don't know what happened. Could not tell you what changed, but something clearly did. Tonight after I worked out, I took some pieces outside to photograph. These are basic photographs, but they are a start. I did some simple edits so I have a clean photo of just the art. Next, I will go in and put some AI into it and get some scenes with the art in it.

So, it's the next morning. After I wrote the above, I picked up my phone and started playing with PhotoRoom. It's an AI photo app on my phone that can do amazing things. Even the free version.

Here is the photo I took of my Grand Canyon ornament:

Running it through PhotoRoom I ended up with this:

My Grand Canyon ornament at the Grand Canyon. What???? So yeah, I got into that and completely forgot to finish this post.

I was wondering if the fact that I started using a journal/planner again made the difference? Seriously! I'm someone who can't keep everything in their head. I need to empty my head. Maybe my journal/planner is the thing that was really and truly holding me back. I made some phone calls yesterday that I have been putting off for weeks. I've started posting again. I'm feeling creative. Can it be just clearing those things out of my head and putting them on paper helped? I don't know for sure, but I'm going with it. I ordered a 16 month planner that should be here today - at least I hope so. It was supposed to be here yesterday but never left Phoenix. Ugh!!! So hopefully today. I am going to make a real effort to use it faithfully because if this is what happens when I write stuff down, I'm writing everything down!!!

In other news, I woke up yesterday hungry and all day my stomach did not feel right. I woke up this morning hungry again and had a half an English Muffin with some peanut butter. My stomach feels good now, let's see if it makes a difference during the day. Speaking of which, I need to log my food for yesterday and wake Hubby up. Okay, that's done. I need to record my food so I can see what is going on with my stomach.

Okay, I think I'm done for now. This post took 12 hours to write, I think that long enough. Off to slay the day.

Vulnerability

2026-10-25T05:57:12.123-07:00

Just saw a quote on my meditation app that said: "Vulnerability is not winning or losing, it's just showing up" Wow! That's kind of powerful.

According to the dictionary: the state of being open to risk, pain, or judgement.

I don't like to be vulnerable. I just wrote that and realized it's not quite true. I don't particularly care what others think. I'm reaching a point, slowly, where others can't hurt me. It's not perfect, but I'm getting there. Hearing others say things about me, I'm able to put them off as their problem, not mine. It will bother me a little, but I am eventually able to shake it off. But looking at it differently, as just showing up, puts a whole new spin on it.

I hate to ask for help. Maybe that's part of being vulnerable. But most of my adult life I've hated asking for help. That is changing slowly. I'm more open to asking others for help and seeking out advice. So maybe I really am changing and growing up. Nah, I'll get wiser but I'll never grow up.

That's really all I have to say today. No, not true. Last night I was contacted by a friend who moved away to New Mexico 7 or 8 years ago. She's going to be back in town and wants to get together. I loved her when she lived here. She had a lot of issues and wasn't the most reliable, but I still loved her. It will be great to see her again. Our other friend can't make it as she moved up north. It will be interesting to see how she's changed over the years.

Okay, I'm done now.

Come Saturday morning

2026-10-24T06:50:40.263-07:00

that's the line from an old song that I don't really remember, but I remember that line. Anyway, here we are at Saturday again. It's cold outside. We sat for a little while but I had to come in to really relax.

Now, for what's on my mind. Yesterday I went and checked out a workout place. It's a small place. They have small classes, never more than 6. So the classes are more like personal training than group classes. They focus on functional training, so not things to get big muscles, but things to help you get through life easily. There is a lot of core focus. I went to talk to them. Got an Inscan body measurement. Then did some movements so they could see how I move. Then did a short workout to get a taste of it. The truth is, I loved it. I love the small classes - I hate big classes. I love the individualized attention. And I love the focus on functional training. I love it. The problem is that it's $500 a month. That's the car payment for the Honda. That's a lot of money for a 'gym' membership. It breaks down to $41 a session, which is a good price for personal training, but a lot for a group class. I don't think I can do it. Let's look at the pros and cons.

Pros:

Love having someone tell me what I need to do.

Love having a set schedule that I have to show up to.

Love having a coach to push me a little.

Really do love working out when I do it regularly.

Love having some small bit of accountability to someone.

It's only 3 times a week for an hour.

Cons:

It would be at 5pm in the evenings on school days.

It's $500 a month.

That's really it, the pros and the cons, but that last con is a big one. I will be able to go to EOS for free after January so the thought of paying $500/month just kills me.

Yeah, I don't think I can do it. I think I will just have to buckle down and get more disciplined at home. I know that I feel great if I regularly exercise. I just need to do it. I think I'm going to go have a deep conversation with Claude.

Writing again

2026-10-22T04:29:12.173-07:00

I was going to sit outside and meditate but there is lots of lightning out there. Lots. I can't hear any thunder but it's too freaky to sit out there with all that lightning going on. I could meditate in here but this room is just not conducive to that. So here I am, writing.

I stopped using planners and notebooks about 6 months ago. Maybe longer, but it's been at least 6 months. I always say that I just don't have enough to write and organize to make using a planner or notebook worthwhile. Also, I tend to use it for a while and then stop. Well, along with my newfound organization at school that is actually working out fairly well, I have decided to jump back into the notebook game to try and up my organization at home. I found that lots of things were slipping through the cracks. I was forgetting to pay things. I'm forgetting to do things. I'm being reactive to most things in my life instead of proactive and I don't like that at all. So I'm back to a notebook to try and salvage what is left of my sanity. I'm using a clipboard at work and it's really working well. Still not perfect, but definitely better than before. See the problem is I forget things. I discovered years and years ago that I can't keep all the things in my head. Either my brain will not shut off or I forget important things. Over the years I've tried a 1,000 different planners and notebooks and all sorts of methods to keep track of things. Nothing really sticks. But I'm coming to the realization that there is no perfect system. I will not find the planner or notebook that is absolutely perfect and that makes me keep track of everything. That doesn't exist. What works will be the system that I use regularly. The system that I keep up and adapt to my style. Over the years, the best thing I've found is bullet journaling. Just writing things down everyday that I need to do or remember or whatever. Also, there is room to make more detailed notes if I need to and sometimes I do. I just need to get back into the habit of using it. That's all. I will carry it with me everywhere and when I think of it I will write things down in it. Eventually it will become a habit and I will immediately turn to it. It's not perfect, but it can work and I just need to keep at it. That's what I've done at school. I have some great systems set up, I'm just working on following through with them. The more I do them, the more the habit will be ingrained. I was thinking about this last night while doing the dishes. Over the years here I've slowly added things to doing the dishes. I obviously do the dishes. I also set up the coffee pot for the next morning. I clean the dog's water bowl and fill it with fresh water. I wipe down the inside of the sink every night. Those things have been added one by one to my evening routine. Was it perfect to start? No. This was a little easier because those things were literally looking me in the face. But I still forgot some things. Now it's all just routine habit. That's what I'm trying to work towards in school and here at home. Routines. Habits. Things that just work. I'm never going to 'find' the perfect system. But I can adapt any system to me and that's where I will make it 'perfect'.

Okay, that's enough rambling this morning. I'm out.

Time to think

2026-10-21T04:33:41.052-07:00

It's meditation time again and I'm not sure I'm doing this right but honestly, it works for me. The whole point of meditation is to learn to calm and control your thoughts. Well, this definitely helps me do that. By getting the thoughts out of my head and onto the screen it definitely helps me learn to control them. And it definitely calms me as I work through things that are bothering me. Yesterday I called and made an appointment with a workout place. This is something I go back and forth on all the time. I like having a workout place. I like going and having someone say this is what we are going to do today. You will lift this much weight, this many times and then you're done. I like that. I'm not an exercise person so having someone tell me what to do is great. At the same time, those places cost a lot of money. It will probably be $200/mo. That's money that I don't really want to spend right now. Also, changing my insurance in January I will get a free membership to EOS. I'm kind of counting on that. So maybe I won't go to even check it out. Maybe I'll just have to suck it up and learn to do workouts myself. I mean it's not the end of the world, I can probably find a decent workout online. But it's just something that I don't want to have to think about and deal with. But I guess I will. I will find a way to cancel the appointment. I think she was supposed to email or message me something and I haven't gotten it. When I do I will respond and say something came up and I can't make it. Let's examine this in depth. I will have to go after work or on the weekends. That means leaving work on time and getting over there for the class. I had to do that when I was going to Fit Body or whatever that was called. That class wasn't until 5pm though so that worked out. I didn't have to rush to get there. But it was kind of annoying having to go from work to there and then workout. So I will have to do that again and depending on the class times, I may have to rush out of work and race to get there. Not cool. Now with EOS I will be going at prime time - right after work. That is usually when they are the busiest, well that and the mornings. Also, with no one waiting on me, there is a greater chance of me skipping it. Of course, I could go on the weekends. I do have Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. And I'm an early riser. But what's better, going at regular intervals or cramming it in on the weekends. I guess going is the point so whenever you can do it. Just took this to Claude and he had a good suggestion. Use the at home workouts I do on the weekdays and do the heavy lifting at the free gym on the weekends. That's a solid plan. He did recommend that I go to the meeting on Friday and check out the expensive gym. So I'm going to do that. I will go on Friday and talk to them and see what they have to say. It might not be as expensive as I think, or it could be worse. Who knows? I won't until I go and talk to them.

Okay, I'm done for now. See the above is why this helps calm my mind. I would have gone back and forth for days if I didn't talk it through here.

I don't do nothing well

2026-10-18T16:06:09.050-07:00

Sounds weird, I know, but I don't. I do lots of things really well and many things I'm working to get better at. But nothing?? Yeah, I don't do that well at all. Or maybe I do it too well? Let's review. I got my Covid and Flu shot yesterday. Now usually they kind of knock me down for a day or so. In fact, 24 hours after the shot I generally start to feel crappy and that feeling usually lasts for about 24 hours. So I had kind of planned on not doing much today. I had a couple of ornaments to finish. I had laundry to do. That was about it. In general, I planned on not doing much at all. Well, the shots didn't hit me like they normally do. In fact, I've felt pretty good all day. Tired, but that's about it and that may be because it's the weekend and has nothing to do with the shots. But I stuck with my plan. I started laundry and worked on my ornaments. Got them all done. Then went to lay on the couch as watch TV for a bit. And I did. I watched a couple of my shows. Then I felt like getting up. So I did. I ended up taking Akua for a walk, but it was a little hot out there still. Then I came back and still had nothing to do. So I went out back and read my book for a little bit. I dozed off for a while. When I woke I felt like getting up and doing something. That's kind of when it hit me, I don't do nothing well at all. I can rest from doing things. But to have basically an entire day with nothing to do...Yeah, that's not for me. Which makes me wonder, is that normal? I just had a little go around with Claude and as near as we can figure out, that is the actual practice. Being still and getting those thoughts and not acting on them is the practice. So yeah, I think I'm doing okay.

The weekend has arrived

2026-10-17T06:11:32.118-07:00

Actually it started yesterday but I didn't write yesterday so here we are. We went into school for a little bit yesterday. I did a lab during the week and it was a mess, so I went in to clean it up. I'm very glad I did. Now I just have to put things away on Monday but everything is clean. Yay.

After that we stopped for breakfast at Big Bear Dinner. It's funny how we go through phases. For a long time, probably years, we would go out to lunch on Fridays. Then a couple of months back we just kind of stopped that. No real reason, no decision, it just kind of faded out. Then recently we went out to breakfast a few times and it was really good. So breakfast seems to be our thing now. We've done this before. I prefer breakfast for a number of reasons. It's at the beginning of the day so I haven't really gotten into anything yet. Lunch is in the middle of the day and I would have to stop what I'm doing to go to lunch. Also, I really love breakfast. I would have breakfast for dinner most nights if I could. I love breakfast. So, that's been our routine lately. So we went to breakfast and then came home and I fell asleep on the couch for about an hour. Don't know if I was really tired or just full from breakfast, but I passed out. Then I sat on the couch for another hour or so watching some TV. After that I got up and came in here and started cutting some more of the national park ornaments. I did these in 1/4" wood and I really like them. I think the little bit thicker adds something to them. Also, I can charge a little more. But they are really nice. I am going to make some more today. I'm also going to put the finishing coat on the things I have in the garage. I need to add hangers too. But I want to get those completely done. Then I have the ornaments from yesterday and a mirror in the works, so I need to get those finished.

Trying to plan what to have for a 3-day event is hard. I have no idea what will sell. I'm assuming the lower price point things will sell better. But I don't know what price point. $100??? $25??? I don't know. And should I have more than one of things? Obviously not the large things, but the smaller ones? Should I have multiples of the ornaments? Not even the minis, only the ornaments. I'm thinking yes, but I don't want to put multiples out at a time. Ugh!! So many unknowns going into this. And I freeze when I don't know. I'll just do the best I can. Anything above $100 gets just one. Anything below that, I will try to make multiples of. That's the best I can do until I actually do one. I think I'll start with a to-do list. I have one on my board, I think I need to update it. Yes, that's the plan. Fix my to do list.

Okay, I'm off to take a shower and get ready for the day.

Longest week ever

2026-10-15T04:35:53.720-07:00

is the week back from a break. I literally forgot that this is our first week back yesterday. I felt like I had been back for weeks already. Long week. Thankfully today is Thursday and the last day of the week.

My hip has been bothering me. Actually, my hip and my groin. The groin hurts whenever I lift my leg. So getting into the car, going up steps, etc. The hip just hurts. I know that I need to exercise and this week has been a cluster f*ck, so I'll try again next week. Actually, I'm going to try again this weekend. The program that I use has workouts Monday through Friday so I kind of feel obligated to use them Monday through Friday. There is no law says that I have to. I could use them Friday through Tuesday. Or Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday. I mean, I could use them whenever I want. Since I need to get back to working out, I think I will start using them on the weekends. See I have these weird like expectations in my head. I go to bed early, usually by 7:30 or 8pm. Of course, I get up early too. During the week my alarm goes off at 3:45am and on the weekends I'm generally up by 5ish. So when I get hung up at work a little bit, like yesterday I was there until 4:10pm, I get home it's almost 5pm. I feel like I need to have some time on the couch to rest and recoup before I go to bed. So I think it's too late to workout because I need to rest. That's crazy. Of course, yesterday I was completely and totally exhausted so maybe yesterday isn't a good example. I was wiped yesterday. I went to be an fell asleep almost immediately. I did wake up this morning before my alarm so I think I got some good, solid sleep. Which I needed. The night before I did not sleep well at all. That night it was the hip that was causing me not to sleep well. Last night before bed I took some Aleve and that really seemed to help.

Okay, that's enough for now. Time to think about getting moving.

Meditation Time

2026-10-14T04:25:38.078-07:00

But I can't sit out back. It's 55F out there. Yikes, that's cold. So I'm back in here and I decided to write things out this morning. Not that I have much to say, but sometimes that leads to the best posts.

I am working so hard on staying organized at school and it is hard. Slowly the practices are becoming habits, but it's slow. I just keep working at it.

Which leads me to think that I need to do that with other things. I won't be perfect and it won't happen all the time, but I can keep trying until it does become habit. Habits take time. They don't develop overnight. They take time to sink in. Some habits develop quickly because they provide some kind of benefit or enjoyment to you. Others take time but they can be formed. Habit stacking is a great way to go but sometimes there is no habit to stack it with. For example, I have no real habits for ending the school day. I would just do whatever and then leave. There is no habit there to stack anything on. Heck, I don't even remember to set out my trash every day. So setting a routine for the end of the day is proving difficult. I even have a list printed that I can check and somedays I forget to check it. Like yesterday. Sat at my desk until a little after 4pm and never once thought to check my list and do my closing routine. Seriously!! But I'm working on it. I remember it some days and the more I do it the more often I'll remember it and slowly the habit will build. I would like to not have to rush in in the mornings and run around like crazy getting things ready for the day. I have prep 4A and 1B. I would love to develop the habit (ha, see what I did there) of prepping B days at 4A and prepping A days at 1B. I could do that. Then I need to squeeze in grading at some point. Ugh, the life of a teacher is not easy.

Well, I had nothing to talk about and yet I managed to ramble on for 10 minutes about habits. Never fails. There is usually something lurking in my brain that I may not consciously be aware of but that is there niggling at me.

Anyway, I'm off to start the day.

Missed my blogaversary

2026-10-11T05:53:33.932-07:00

I started this blog on September 6, 2004. That, if you do the math, is 22 years ago. For 22 years I've been writing in here. I've been documenting my life. Using it as my therapist. Getting my anger, frustration, joy, disappointment, every thing out here. I'm sure I've changed a lot. But many of my struggles are the same. The main ones being money and weight. That hasn't changed in 22 years. I'm still struggling with those things. But I'm also more accepting of my short comings in those areas so I guess I'm making progress. There's a song I love currently called Namaste Bitches that is just so freaking appropriate for the times we live in. "I'm all about love, I'm all about light, but I will spiritually roast you on sight". It has so many good lines in it. I just went to find the lyrics and for reasons I can't explain, they are not available. Maybe because of all the curse words - there are a lot. Anyway, one of the lines is "I'm not a villain I'm just well aware. I know my flaws and I know their there" and that is me. I have flaws, many, I'm not perfect but I'm working on it. I figure once you stop working you die. Anyway, I'm going to write down the lyrics to this song because it's awesome.

More brutal self-truths

2026-10-10T07:36:39.288-07:00

I have got to get my sh*t together. After my last post I have been working on changing my attitude and just doing things. I'm still struggling with my doom scrolling. I've got to stop that. I've cut back but I still do it, so I need to focus on not doing that. Time to figure out some habit stacking. What am I doing that I can stack a non-doom-scrolling habit on to? Working on it.

I have to start working on the physical body. Yes, I've been in pain and let that hold me back for 4 months now, but it's time to start working on getting past the pain and building some strength back. I'm going to change my Medicare and with it comes a gym membership. That will start on January 1 and so I would like to be in some kind of shape for the 1st so I'm ready to hit the gym. I know, that sounds silly, being in shape for the gym. But the way I am now, I can hardly do anything. I would like to get some normal movement and range of motion back before hitting the gym. I stepped on the scale today and I'm 10lbs up from my lowest weight a few months ago. I know the problem. Relying on the shot and not doing any of the work. Time to flip the script. I need to get my food and workouts in order and just use the shot as a helper, not the main driver of the weight loss. I loved how I felt when I was 10lbs lighter and I would really like to get there again. So I was going to start on Monday, but harkening back to a previous life - Why not now? I'm going to focus on food this weekend and start the workouts on Monday. Then on January 1st, I'm going to start hitting the gym. Yeah, I'm looking forward to this. I think getting back into working out will help me get back into feeling more like myself. I'd like to see if I could get Hubby going to the gym occasionally with me.

Okay, I just had to get this off my chest. I need to contact someone about switching Medicare plans and then things will start moving.

I'm off to work on school work.

Time to suck it up

2026-10-08T17:54:49.147-07:00

I have been spending a lot of my time hiding my head in the sand. I've been avoiding working on the budget because I'm not sure how to get ahead. I've been avoiding dealing with some of my email because there are things there I just don't want to think about. I have to stop. And it has to stop now. I am great at avoiding things. Seriously. I can hide my head in the sand like no one else. Time to suck it up and deal with it. Everything!!!!!! I can't avoid it just because I don't feel like dealing with it. That is so incredibly stupid. I think it might have something to do with what is happening in the country right now. It is so discouraging, our country is literally going to shit. We have a f*cking wanna be dictator in the White House, and a bunch of no b*lls Congress that won't stand up to him. It makes me sad for my country. Dealing with that every day is a lot. And that could be part of what is happening with me. I definitely get the feeling of why bother? We are going to end up in Nazi Germany so what the hell does it all matter? It's easy to fall into that and I can't. I have to maintain hope that things will work out and he will be gone or die, seriously, I don't think I've ever wished someone dead and meant it. Anyway, I can't let what might happen get to me. I have to focus on the here and now. And in the here and now, I have to work on the budget and I have to make plans for my business and I have to do some house cleaning. So yeah, I can't let this get me down. I think that's why I've been in a low grade depression lately. I've been doing things, but haven't been able to find the joy in a lot of things. So yeah, time to kick it out and get back to me. Part of the problem is also, no doubt, the constant pain I'm in lately. Having wrists that hurt much of the time can wear you down. So I think it's been the perfect storm of inner pain and outer turmoil. It has all just come together and been working to bring me down. So time to stop it. Time to pick things back up and work on moving forward.

Okay, after writing all this I do feel better. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my head. I feel lighter. So time to shake it off and get back to myself.

Another good day

2026-10-05T18:21:56.724-07:00

I've been busy today. I took Akua to the park this morning and we walked the lake. I came home and headed right out to the garage. I glued the koi, which I was dreading doing. I was afraid that I would screw it up and I kind of did, but I managed to save it I think. I'll know tomorrow. I finally got my Walrus oil and oiled a bunch of pieces. It is amazing how good oil makes wood. Here is a before and after.

The right is before and the left is after. I've been looking at this for weeks now and really, really thought, meh, it's okay. After oiling it I'm in love. It's beautiful. The rest are just as nice. I need to take photos of all of them.

After that, I came into the house and started cutting. I cut 4 ornaments, sorted out some wood I had. And I cut the raven to make another raven on pumpkin. I also cut some leather to go around the mirrors. So busy.

I ended up ordering dinner from the Noodle Co. I just didn't feel like cooking.

It was a super good day. I could absolutely see myself doing this all the time. But, unless I make some money at my business, I won't have that opportunity.

I plan to make some smaller stuff to hopefully actually sell. I have some smaller things I want to make like earrings and sticky notes holders. I also have some mirrors that I may try to make more of. I think those are really nice.

Okay, that's it for now.

Blogging can be meditation

2026-10-04T05:59:53.944-07:00

I know that meditation is done to calm the mind and give you control. Well, in many ways blogging does that for me. My mind is full of stuff, all kinds of stuff, and blogging helps me sort it out. It also helps me dig into things when I need to. Today it's going to help me figure out what I need to accomplish today. I've spent the last two days kind of working on things and kind of not. Yesterday I fell asleep on the couch twice. Yeah, that doesn't need to happen. So here I am trying to prioritze the things I want to get done.

So first up is the art work. I need to glue the large koi and that is proving to be a bit of a problem. The thin wenge pieces, 1/16", are curling when I glue them. I think that I'm going to have to use the super glue and the acclerator so that they glue immediately and don't have a chance to curl. Getting that glued is going to take some time so that will probably be most of my morning.

I also need to edge the smaller pieces, oh and finish gluing the smaller koi. For the smaller koi I have to make a jig since the koi get placed on top of the backing. So I have to cut a jig on my laser. Which leads to the other things I have/want to cut on my laser. I want to make some of the smaller ornaments, they sold at the last show. But I have to have a way to organize them. I don't want to cut one piece at a time. I want to cut multiple pieces out of a sheet of wood, but I need to keep them organized. I guess it wouldn't be that hard to figure them out. I think that is just an excuse.

I have the background cut for another raven on a pumpkin, I think I will make another one of those. I'm thinking about making a couple more of the round mirrors. Now, do I have enough wood for all that? I don't know. I do have a lot of wood so I think I might. I think I can use up a lot of the pieces I have that just have a bit left on them. Oh, that should be my goal. Make as many as possible without buying any more wood. Nice......

I also want to do some cleaning and laundry today. See, I have a lot to do and I need to figure out how to prioritze it. That is always where I get hung up - what to do first. So let's do that.

First - Get the laundry going. That can run while I do other things and I can switch it over whenever.

Second - work in the garage. Even though temps are down, it still gets too hot in there in the afternoons so I need to work in there in the mornings.

Third - cut the ornaments. Those can run in the afternoons when it's too hot to work in the garage. They can actually be glued in the house too as they are small enough. Maybe I'll use 3M on them so I don't have to glue them at all. 3M is nice, but honestly I'm not a huge fan of it. It's hard to work with, you have to be so careful if your piece is a little larger, and you waste a lot because you cover the whole back and then cut it out. Glueing is annoying and tedious, but I think it's worth it in the long run.

Finally - the house cleaning. That can be done at any time I'm not doing any of the above. I don't have to spend the day cleaning the house, I can do it in bits and pieces. So when I'm not working in the garage or cutting things, I can be cleaning the house. It needs a good deep cleaning. The thing is, each room won't take an hour. I can deep clean the entire kitchen in a little over an hour. Our master bath doesn't take an hour, it's not that big. So an hour here or an hour there is going to get things done.

Okay, I think I've worked my way through my brain jam. I get caught up with all the things I want to get done that I develop paralysis. So many things to do and I can't seem to do any of them. I think I've got it worked out in my head now. I'll run the laundry as I go, work in the garage in the morning, work in the house when it gets too hot. Easy peasy, lemon squeezee.

I'm off now.

Let break begin

2026-10-02T05:49:47.518-07:00

The first day of fall break is upon us. It's hard to believe. It feels like we just started but we are 11 weeks in. Hubby is off to San Francisco. Dropped him at the airport about an hour ago. I have the next few days to myself. Yes!!!! I have plans. I will be working in the garage on my art. I will be redecorating the front room. I will be planning for the next 11 weeks at school. I will keep myself busy. I also have to train the dog in the new car and work on his place in the house. I have lots to do and lots of time to do it in.

It's been a good first 11 weeks. I am holding the line in most things, but I've let some things slack a little. I will need to work on that next quarter.

I really don't feel like I have anything to talk about. I just don't. Things are good and rolling along. Oh, I know what. We ended up buying a new van. Two weeks ago I took Akua to training at Riparian Preserve. We walked around for about an hour and when we returned to the Bronco, he was too tired to get in it. It's quite a jump for even him, and he was just tired. I ended up having to help him in. That made me realize that we really need a car he can get in and out of easily. He's going to be getting older and it's going to get harder and harder for him. So I initially thought I would trade in my Bronco but we are upside down on the loan to the tune of $10,000. That's means I would have to buy something, roll that $10k into the new loan and still come up with a down payment. Ugh!! But if we traded Hubby's truck we wouldn't have that issue. So we did. Got a nice Honda Odyssey. It's awesome. And the best part is Akua loves it. Yes, it's another car payment and no one wants that, but sometimes you have to do things you don't want to.

That is about the only excitement we've had around here. While I'm home alone, I need to sit and go through all my email and figure out what the heck is going on. I know that I have things I should be working on or doing but I have a terrible habit of opening it and then just clicking out. This week I clean it up and figure out a system to deal with it so it doesn't get overwhelming like it is now.

Okay, I'm done. Time to walk Akua.

It's been a good week.

2026-09-24T19:03:01.008-07:00

It was a busy week, but it was good. I have discovered that since that colleague quit things, namely me, has been much more positive. Seriously. I've had a much better attitude and outlook. It's nice to be back to my happy, positive self. I realized that we had fallen into a pattern of complaining. I hadn't really realized it, at least consciously. I think on some level I did recognize it because I would avoid her at times and when faced with dealing with her, I would dread it. Instead of complaining and focusing on the negatives, I'm happy and focusing what worked and what didn't. I have the mental capacity to look objectively at a lesson and realize what went wrong and what went right. And it's easy to make the adjustments on the fly because I have the mental room to do that. It's amazing how much energy I spent in trying to avoid her, or deal with her, or worry about dealing with her. It's crazy. I feel a little bad about this, but not too much. I think that's part of the reason I haven't reached out to her to get together. I don't want to deal with that. I realized how nice it is not to have to deal with that and I'm not sure that I want to go back there. I think this is why I don't have a lot of friends. I don't feel like it's worth my little bit of people energy to spend on people like that. As a true introvert, I don't have a lot of energy to spend on people that I don't find uplifting and easy to be around. So anyway, that's where my head is at.

And it was a very good week. I'm working on getting my act together with planning and prepping and that is awesome. It's a work in progress but I'm definitely making progress a little bit at a time. One inch forward. Which reminds me, I have not worked on my art in a few days, maybe all week. But I have been working out and working on my organizing. So I have been making progress in other areas of my life, but not the art this week. That's okay. I have to work on a few things, so at least I was working on something.

Okay, time for dessert, I'm out.

Easily distracted

2026-09-20T17:48:53.028-07:00

I did move my art 1 inch forward today, just barely. But I got distracted by something. Let me explain.

I took Akua for training this morning. We went to the Riparian Preserve. It's a beautiful wetland that has lots of water and animals and paths to walk. It really is an awesome place to take the dogs. So I met the trainer there and we walked our dogs there for an hour. Before I get to the distraction I want to say that Akua did great. He didn't even really react to her Great Dane and was really good with almost all the other dogs we saw. There were a few that were yappy and out of control, but we survived it and he overall did really good. Okay, now that that is out of the way, we were leaving the preserve and Akua was having trouble getting into the Bronco. He was tired and jumping up into the Bronco took energy he didn't seem go have. We got in and all was well, but it got me to thinking. I want to go on road trips and I just don't think the Bronco will be a good fit for that. He sits in the backseat and is up high and I'm not comfortable with that. So I started thinking that maybe I should trade the Bronco in and get another van. Those are just built for road trips and dogs. It's easy to get in and out of. The dogs are low and on the floor not way up on a seat. It's just much better than the Bronco. So I started investigating. How much would I get for the Bronco? How much are vans going for? Would it be feasible to trade in the Bronco and get a van? The truth is we are upside down on the Bronco loan and so would have to borrow more to cover the shortfall. That kind of sucks. So I was explaining this all to Hubby when it hit me, we could trade in his truck. It's paid off so no loan to worry about. I mentioned it to him and he was all for it. So that led me down a rabbit hole of how much can we get for the truck? How much do vans go for? Then I started talking to Claude about which vans are better, which are good deals and bad deals. Definitely a time consuming adventure even if I had Claude's help. So eventually I walked away and just put it on hold. I'm trying to figure out the downside to doing this. The only downside I can come up with is that we will have another car payment. Hubby is happy to get rid of his truck and go back to a van. It wouldn't change much except we would have a vehicle that can transport the dog easily. I think the real thing holding me back is that it won't be my car. I don't want it. I love my Bronco. The only downside of my Bronco is Akua. Getting the van would solve that problem. So why am I feeling hesitant. I don't want to jump in and discover I made a big mistake. I'm trying to be an adult and make sure it's the right thing to do before I jump in with both feet. But seriously, the only downside is another car payment. His truck gets a large trade in so the payments won't be too much. I guess I just need to sit with it for a little bit and make sure I'm good with it.

One More Inch Forward

2026-09-19T14:29:33.122-07:00

So I posted about moving my art 1 inch forward. That thinking has really been a game changer for me. I made that post 4 days ago and it's really resonated with me and it's been in my head ever since. I've been coming home from work and doing something on my art. It's not a lot, it's not huge amount of work, but it is something. The only night I didn't do anything was Thursday night because that night I didn't get home until 9pm. I gave myself a pass. Yesterday, Friday, I was really tired and only worked on my art for a very short time but I did do something. Today I got up and headed out to the garage first thing in the morning and got a lot of work done. I am trying something new. I am recording everything I do and narrating what I'm doing as I go. I find that I am very deliberate with what I do and it really helps me think through what I'm doing. I will take the videos and make a long form one for YouTube and short reels for social media. I can sit at night and edit videos, seriously, how hard can it be. Just another thing that I will add to my list of new talents. 1 inch forward, that's all I ask. Also, I like making the videos and hopefully that will inspire me to actually post on social media. I want to do a bit of an intro video, but I need to think through what I want to say. I don't want to write a script or anything, but I do want to know what I want to say. Right now, I'm going to figure out what I need to use to edit videos. Wish me luck.

Things on my mind

2026-09-18T16:28:18.025-07:00

This will be a random assortment of stuff and won't necessarily be related to anything else, but here goes.

I'm looking to plan a summer trip and trying to decide if I want to follow what there is of Route 66 home or if I want to go by way of Wyoming. Either way there are lots of cool things to see, I just need to pick one. The Route 66 is honestly the most appealing because we have no idea how much longer all that stuff we be around. So much has been lost already. Whereas the things in Wyoming are natural and should still be there in a few years. At least providing our president keeps his hands off them. So there's that.

Hubby is leaving for a few days at the beginning of fall break. I'm happy and not so happy about that. It's always nice to have a few days to myself. I don't have to see what he's doing or what he wants to do. I don't have to answer what do I want for dinner or lunch or breakfast. I can not eat a meal if I so choose to. So that will be nice. It does get a little boring though, so there's that also.

I've been avoiding someone and I kind of feel bad about it. I realize that our friendship has probably reached it's natural end, it's just run it's course, but I don't think the other person knows yet. In fact, I'm kind of in that position with 2 people, though 1 I'm wondering if that will change. But I feel a little bad about avoiding this person because I just don't want to get together. Spending time with them is not like it used to be and honestly not something I want to do much of. I've changed and they really haven't. So anyway, I'm in avoidance mode and feeling a tiny bit guilty.

I'm also trying to figure out what to do about my business. Seriously. I want to keep making art and I want to try and sell it, but...... I don't want to do the social media thing. I don't want to run a website like I've been doing. I don't want to do a lot of the things people are saying I should do. I don't want to. So what do I do. I haven't posted on social media in weeks. I haven't done much of anything in weeks. I love making the art, I hate doing all the other sh*t that goes with it. Maybe I'll just make the art. Maybe I'll just post when I want to. Maybe I'll just do things my way. That would be new and different. I hate how everyone tells you that your social media should look cohesive - screw that.

I have not done anything today to move my art forward 1 inch. That's seriously my goal; 1 inch every day. Today I've done nothing. Hopefully before I go to bed I'll do something. If not, oh well.

Okay, enough said. I've gotten a few little ideas as I've been typing here. That's usually what happens and that's why I love this and still do it.

Every once in a while I go back to the beginning of this blog and look. I started this thing on September 26, 2004. It will have it's 22 birthday in just a few days. Weird.

One inch forward

2026-09-15T17:46:29.305-07:00

I was listening to a podcast the other day and the guy on it was saying do something every day that moves you one inch forward. No matter what you are doing, work to move things one inch forward. So I want to do my art and that is something I can work on when I get home from work for a little bit. Enough to move it one inch forward. So I did that last night. I glued the acrylic to the turtle and let that set. Tonight I started placing the turtle. I didn't finish it, but I made progress. I moved it one inch forward. I have to keep that in mind in all things. Just one inch. I don't have to make huge progress all the time. I just need to make a little progress. That's what I'm going to focus on. I have a tendency to think since I can't make huge strides it's not worth doing. I have to lose that attitude. One inch. That's all I need, one inch.

I need to have that attitude for everything. One inch is all I need. I want to work on Akua and his place command. I think that if I don't have 10 minutes, why bother. Well, one inch. If I can only do it once, do it once. It's better than not doing it at all. Same with cleaning or organizing. One inch at a time.

I like that. Don't try to do it all. Just do something!!!

Blogging instead of meditating

2026-09-13T10:54:01.859-07:00

sometimes that's just what happens. There are days where I want to sit and still my mind and just be peaceful. Then there are other days where I just want to write and get these things out of my head. Today it's the latter.

What a weekend it has been. On Friday I had a meeting in Queen Creek from 8:30 to noon. Then I had a hair appointment at 1:45 and that lasted 2.5 hours. After that I was taking tickets at the homecoming game until 8:30. It was a long, busy day and when I got home I was just exhausted. I slept in on Saturday until almost 6am - that's late for me. Then yesterday I had nothing during the day but was working the homecoming dance last night. I got there around 6:15pm and was there until 9:30pm. Some of the people that volunteered didn't show up so there were very few adults there. Luckily, our kids are overall very good and things seemed to go very well. The DJ was awesome. Today I have nothing and I am so enjoying it.

I am cutting out some minis today. I have those 2 shows coming up and I need to make sure I have inventory for both. I can't run out. These take a considerable amount of time to make. So I'm cutting some things today, that's easy, and doing laundry. After I finish here I'll probably head out to the couch for a while. Definitely taking it easy today and getting to bed early tonight.

I'm still mulling over the whole social media thing. I think I'm definitely going to transfer my website to like GoDaddy or something. I don't see the point of paying $35/mo for a Shopify store when I don't really sell online. Any of my art is going to require a conversation and not just something you throw in your cart and check out. So do I really need a website that is a commerce site - I don't think so. I think a regular site where I can display what I do and people can go look at it will be more than enough. So I'm going to switch over. I need to cancel my Etsy shop though and I'm having a problem with that. I can't seem to log into it to shut it down. Once I shut that down, I can shut down Google Workspace and stop paying every month for that. I signed up for all these things thinking I would need them and I don't. I'm going basic. Very. Very. Basic. Scaling back and trying to just sell some stuff.

Okay, time's up. I'm out.

And the hits just keep on coming

2026-09-10T18:04:55.042-07:00

got another email today that I had been accepted into another art show. This one is in February and is an art and wine show. Yes!!! People drinking and strolling around art. This sounds like a winning combination to me.

So what I wrote about yesterday has really been on my mind all day. I really and truly think I'm going to start making content on Saturday. I would start tomorrow, and I might, but I am super busy tomorrow. So I kept thinking I need to figure out how to make intros or extro or whatever you need for videos and that's not true. I need to make content. What I'm trying to decide is if I want to do it on my business channel or my personal channel. My guts says to use my business channel but I'm really thinking of using my personal channel. I don't know. Something I need to work out. The other thing I need to work out is what exactly I'm going to talk about. I guess just what's on my mind at the moment. I would like to eventually talk about my art; how I make it, things I've learned, etc. Maybe I should head to TikTok and post there. I have never used that much, maybe I should head over there. Maybe I'll play with it tomorrow and see what I can do.

Okay, that's it for now. This will be a busy weekend. Tomorrow I have a meeting, a hair appointment, and I'm working the football game. Saturday night I'm working the dance. Thankfully Sunday is nothing and that is exactly what I will be doing. Nothing. Okay, I'm out.

A few things to work through

2026-09-09T17:35:43.208-07:00

It seemed like a lot happened today even though most of it was inside my head. Let's see if I can make sense of it.

It started with a Mel Robbins podcast. I'm not really sure how I came to it this morning. I think it popped up as ad on the podcast app and something about it caught my attention. I decided to give it a try. Her guest was Gary Vanurchuk and the title was "This one episode with change your entire life" a pretty strong claim for a 1 hour podcast, but okay. I listened to it on the way to work and so many things hit me from it. I may have to listen to it again. This guy's whole thing is just f*cking do it. What are you waiting for? The only thing holding you back is yourself. I've heard this before in different ways but today it just hit. The guy on the way home was saying just keep doing it. I really needed to hear that today. I can do it. Whatever 'it' is. I can do it.

On the heels of that, I get an email that I have been accepted to the Tempe Arts Festival. It's a 3-day event that is at the beginning of December and it is huge. I applied a month or so ago and then promptly forgot about it. I got an email yesterday that they would be sending out the notices today. Then today I get the acceptance. I'm excited and nervous and suffering from imposter syndrome and just have all the feels. I know that I make art and therefore am an artist, but man it's hard to wrap my head around that. I have so much to do for this show.

Gary on the podcast talked about just starting on social media. Just making content and doing it. Doesn't matter what the content is, just make it and post it. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I have almost completely withdrawn from social media on my business. I've been thinking about just starting and just posting. No plan. No script. Just making a video and posting it. Okay, maybe a little bit of a plan. I'm going to do it. I would start tonight but I'm in my nightgown - wait, is that an excuse? I don't plan on looking perfect but a nightgown might be a little much.

The last few weeks I've been thinking about why I don't do the things I want to do. What is holding me back? Why don't I try things that I want to try. I think the above all came at just the right time. I was thinking it and now I'm being told it. I don't believe in coincidences.

Okay, I think that's it for tonight. Yes, I want to get started but I worked a full day at school and I'm tired. Plus, I do need to think how I want to approach this. Give me a day or so to get a plan in place.

It's been a couple of weeks

2026-09-06T16:01:26.276-07:00

and I thought it was time for a catch up.

First up, work has settled down. After my colleague quit, I had to come up with sub plans for a week and a half. Thankfully, the old middle school science teacher was available and was able to step into the role pretty quickly. His position had been eliminated at the district and so this was perfect. That worked out well and seems to be going fine.

Next up is the wrist. So I still have some pain and it has moments when it's really weak, but overall it's healing well. I am able to do a lot of things that I could not do before, I've even gotten back to my art. Really, gotten back to it. I've spent all weekend in the garage working on making frames. It's been nice to be at it again.

I guess those were the 2 biggees. Everything else is just humming along. I will say that since that colleague left, things have actually been much nicer at school. I don't have them coming into my room complaining about this or that. I don't have to listen about how this is how things were done in the corporate world - we are not in the corporate world. I didn't realize it, but this person brought a lot of negativity to many situations. Yes, we would laugh and joke, but there was a lot of negativity there also. It's weird how you can't see some things until they are gone. I've been a lot happier and a lot more cheerful since they left. I do feel a tiny bit bad as I haven't reached out to them since they left. Well, that's not completely true. I did reach out initially and let them know that I was here if they needed anything. They responded nicely but I haven't heard anything since. Another friend at school went out to dinner with them a couple of weeks ago and said I should reach out. I'm not going to. I'm not going to force myself on them. I left it open, saying I was here if they needed me, that's it. If they want to get together, they can reach out to me as easily as I can reach out to them. So I'm not going to be the one doing the reaching. Also, honestly, I'm a little upset about how they handled it and I don't want to have to sit there and say 'oh, it's okay'. It's not. They could have handled the situation so much better. Yes, I understand they are going through a lot, but that doesn't mean everyone has to bend over backwards for you. So not having to tiptoe around someone is really much better than it was before.

Okay. I was doing this in place of my meditation this morning and the time is up. So now we are up to date, I got some things off my chest, and my meditation is complete. I'm off.