Society has always viewed failure as a negative thing. However, if you never fail, you probably never take risks either. You probably never take risks because you fear failure. It’s a closed loop and you are the only one who can break this cycle. Never taking risks and always playing it safe severely limits your potential in life. It also tends to make life rather dull.

People thought I was crazy to leave the practice of law to build a ghostwriting business. Maybe I was. But let me tell you, I was definitely scared. I feared failure and success! More on that later on the blog.

At the start of any endeavor, most people think about what they will achieve if they succeed. But many also think about the risks, or what will happen and what they will lose if they fail. You may lose money or respect. You might get embarrassed. You may lose the love of the person you love most in the world. You may even risk death if you fail in some situations.

It is essential that you put your fear of failure into perspective. That will allow you to overcome your concerns and move forward towards potential success with the understanding that failure usually does not mean the end of the world. Here are five ways you can combat the fear of failure.

1. Realize you are not alone in your fear of failure.

Most people have this fear, and everyone has a limit regarding what they are willing to risk. For example, you may not be willing to try anything that puts your life in jeopardy.

You may not want to do anything that puts your relationships with loved ones on the line either. You may only be willing to risk a certain amount of money.

The first step to putting the prospect of failure into perspective is to have a reasonably clear understanding of how much you are willing to risk. What is your limit?

2. Focus on the endeavor you are about to embark upon.

What are the potential risks if you fail? Try to be as specific as possible. Write down the potential dangers. Also, write down the fallout of those risks. For example, if the risk is the loss of all your savings, the result may be that you cannot afford to retire or to send your children to college. What are the risks, and how do those risks affect your life now and in the future?

3. Are any of the risks you have identified beyond the limit you established in step one?

That is where you determine whether the potential risks are worth it if you fail as compared to the potential reward if you succeed. Does the risk involve something you are not willing to lose? Does the possible failure affect people other than you?

4. Identify your fear.

Do you fear the loss of something, such as money or some other asset, or do you fear failure?

Failure may depress you or cause you to feel embarrassed. Feelings such as these are the basis for fearing failure, but these feelings can be overcome rather quickly if you do fail.

5. Move forward with the risks worth taking.

After taking the first four steps, you’ll have a much better idea of what risks are worth taking and how any failure will affect you and others. If you feel that the chances are worth the potential award, the only thing left to do is to move forward with your endeavor. If you identify risks not worth taking, you can go back to the drawing board and come up with a new plan. You can also decide your fear of failure was appropriate and move onto something else entirely.

How do you combat a fear of failure?

The most important thing you can do to combat your fear of failure is to address it head-on. Fully identify the potential failure and it will affect you or someone else.

What is the absolute worst thing that could happen? Are you willing to face it?

After your assessments, you will know whether you are eager to move forward or not.

The post Combat the Fear of Failure in 5 Easy Steps appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.

It’s been exactly one month since I left my corporate lawyer job to become a full-time ghostwriter, consultant, and coach.

During that time I’ve had a ton of successes, mostly because I had built my business on the side very deliberately, to the point that I had a lot of people waiting for my time to free up.

In fact, I was actually almost behind on some writing projects, although my clients were in the loop and accommodating, knowing I was in the midst of a transition that would allow me to serve them better.

As a result, I’ve had a lot of really great successes in the first 30 days, including:

• Landing 2 new ghostwriting projects, filling up my capacity and starting a waiting list;
• Getting a 3-book deal from a traditional publisher for books to be written in my own name, for my own brands;
• Beginning the process and am now up for a Guinness World Record for one of my projects (more details soon);
• Landing 3 new coaching clients (only a few left until I hit capacity); and
• Landing a new consulting client.

It all adds up to some pretty awesome projected income to get started and projects I believe in.

I’m now writing 6 books at various stages, have several coaching and consulting clients, and have my own brands building in the background (and in some cases, the foreground).

I’m also working less (only slightly though, as the 50 hours from my day gig got quickly eaten up by the writing I am catching up on), sleeping more, and spending more and better-quality time with my family.

Score.

Most people would stop there. I won’t.

A lot of crap happened, too.

Here are a few that come to mind from the past 30 days. Total “unexpected crap” almost $2,000:

• Long story short, my wife broke something by total accident that did not belong to us and it cost us about $1,500 to replace.
• Our heating system in the house (that’s also connected to our hot water) broke and cost $350 to repair.
• One of our garage doors broke. We think we fixed it ourselves. We’ll see….

That’s only the completely unexpected stuff and stuff that can’t be anticipated (like insurance premiums, which we knew about).

I also need to take better care of my personal health for oh so many reasons   That started last week.

Overall a great first month.

But don’t believe anyone who tells you it’s all tutus and rollerblades.

I can’t remember a month where I’ve been as happy professionally, literally everything is exciting.

But that Murphy guy has come a knockin’ more than a couple times too.

What else do you want to know?

The post What Most Entrepreneurs Won’t Talk About: Murphy’s law and the First 30 Days in Business appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.

I’m going to share a little bit about the past 12 months. This is the short story about why and how I quite my job as a corporate lawyer to become a full-time ghostwriter and content coach.Just over 1 year ago, I announced that

When you’re done reading, feel free to ask questions in the comments. I’m here to help.

It all started just over 1 year ago when I announced that Step Away from the Mall was heading in a new direction.

I promised that we would have some fun together. As you know by now, this site is where I go to just chat off the top of my head. I have several other sites, which I have and will share here. But this is my personal journal. This is my “how to,” my “what would I do” blog.

And this is not only what I would do. It’s what I did.

In fact, over the past 12 months, I did a lot, including leave my job as a lawyer.

Am I crazy? Time will tell, but I guess it depends on your perspective.

In the past 12 months, my first book, Confessions of a Terrible Husband: Lessons Learned from a Lumpy Couch, continued to sell well. People liked it. Friends and influencers shared it. And unexpected doors opened.

People started asking how I did it. A lot of people.

And by “how I did it” I mean both “how did you change the direction of your marriage” and “how did you write the book.”

When people ask me things like that, I like to help. When a lot of people ask me, the best way to help is to be able to serve multiple people at the same time.

So I started coaching and podcasting, too, mostly informally.

Then a friend of mine shared how she got into ghostwriting. She was a lawyer, like me, and transitioned into full-time ghostwriting.

I was intrigued. I had no idea how to “break in.”

She took me under her wing, shared some secrets and tips, and helped me break my biggest obstacle… the one between my ears.

In August I got my first very small project. Then another came in December. Another came in January. And yet another in February. I was doing very little marketing (after all, I was still working over 50 hours per week as a lawyer), but people liked my writing and connecting with me.

I know how to write books. I write well and I write fast. I write logically, and I can get into my clients’ heads.

As I turned projects around, publishers noticed, and one in particular started sending me manuscripts they liked that had been prepared by people they love.

Their instructions: We want to love both the person and the manuscript. It needs your touch.

One year after releasing my first book I was writing 5 and had already finished projects. I had a publisher tell me they want to see everything I’m working on, and the sales in the first half of 2016 equaled 50% of my salary as a lawyer for the first half of 2016…and this was doing it very part time.

I started building momentum.

Over the following six weeks, I planned and projected, reached out to current and former clients for testimonials and referrals. I went from one source of business to three pretty reliable ones.

I had a wait list. I had vision into the future.

On top of that, I had coaching and consulting projects and testimonials coming in from there too.

It was time for me to leap.

My last day at work was August 12, 2016. In the weeks that followed those extra 50 or so hours filled fast.

I had moved deliberately and had people waiting for me to have more time for their projects.

I started offering one-time Content Kickstarter consulting calls, on top of ongoing content coaching packages, writing partnerships, and full ghostwriting for short- and long-form content.

It took a lot to get to the point where I was comfortable leaving my job as a lawyer. I’ll share all sorts of details in the weeks and months to come.

I’ll share successes and failures. I’ll answer questions.

For now, you’re pretty much up to speed.

My current workload is as follows:

• Writing 6 full-length books
• Multiple coaching projects
• Multiple consulting projects
• Building another business
• Hosting two podcasts
• And I just signed a personal 3-book deal for 3 “pocket guides,” which will be pocket sized, no-fluff books, to be released over the next 18 months or so
• Plus some other fun stuff I’ll talk about in the months to come.

It’s pretty awesome.

What do you want to know?

The post Why and how I quit my job as a lawyer and am now a full-time ghostwriter and content coach. The short story. appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.

It’s been a while since you and I have hung out.

It’s been for several reasons.

All good ones, actually.

And now it’s about to change.

You and I are going to have some fun together.

Here’s how:

Many of you know I work full time as a lawyer, host two podcasts, wrote a book called Confessions of a Terrible Husband: Lessons Learned from a Lumpy Couch, and make lots more noise around the internet….

Oh yeah, I’m married with children, too.

That’s a lot of stuff, right?

Totally.

How do I do it all?

Several ways. But here are my three favorites:

1. I plan carefully.

Nothing is by accident. I plan the times I work and the times I relax. I set boundaries and stick to them. People ask to invade space that I have set for other things I say no. Yeah, it’s tough sometimes. But it has rarely been an issue. It’s usually a “not then, but now about at this time” rather than a straight “no.” But… that leads me to number 2.

2. I say no.

I’m terrible at saying no. I used to never say no. But now that I am focused on building a freelancing business (rather than just freelancing for fun like I have been doing), I’ve had to say no more and more. So in addition to “not now,” I have to cut things out and say no to opportunities to allow me to focus on where I can have the most positive impact in the world, which starts in my home and then trails off as I go through my day job, freelance writing for pay, and my personal writing and podcasting.

And finally…

3. I supertask.

I write a lot. I podcast a lot. I speak, too. But I don’t multitask. I do the exact opposite. I’ll write more on this later. But when I set a time to do something I stick to it. If I have to write 5 blog posts for various sites this week, I don’t write one a day, I write 5 in a 3-hour period one night. Same with podcasts. Same with promotion.

So where does this leave us?

As of September 1 I am hitting “reset” on all of my online adventures and share the process for me building up my side hustle.

I do have several items in place and have been doing some writing, coaching, speaking, and podcasting for money for a little while now, so it’s not exactly “new.” But I haven’t shared my process, successes, and failures before.

So I’m going to start that right here.

I’ve been wanting to redirect Step Away from the Mall for a while. It’s always been about improving your money and your family life.

But I wanted a better narrative.

Now I have one.

Stick with me as I share how I’m building my business with strong boundaries around family.

This isn’t going to be the most polished of websites. It never has been. And it never will be. And I think you’ll like that.

But it will be a place where you can follow along with me as I build my lifestyle business more intentionally than I ever have.

Until next time, put your credit card down and slowly step away from the mall!

The post A new direction for Step Away from the Mall – and My Ghostwriting Hustle appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.

‘Tis the Season, America!

Tis.

The.

Season!

So this is 7 sorts of cool, isn’t it?  Charity. And Giveaway in the same sentence!

(Yes, I know there’s a period there so it’s not “technically” the same sentence. But I write my own rules here, grammar included.)

Here’s the deal: A bunch of really awesome bloggers (and me…) pooled in some cash to give away.

That’s pretty much it.

Here’s the “skinny.”

• The 10 bloggers in the fancy widget thing down there started things off with a $25 per blog donation.  Unless my math is wrong that is only $69,999,750 shy of $70 million!!!!!
• If you’d like to sponsor this giveaway too, email Crystal at budgetingfunstuff *at* gmail.com and you can also participate.  You just have to give at least $25 between now and November 20, 2014!
• You can earn a bunch of entries by doing all the things that fancy widget thing down there tells you to do.
• The giveaway will run from November 5th, 2014 at 7am EST to November 27th, 2014 at 11:59pm EST.  Sorry California.  It ends at 9:00pm your time, but they tell me that’s the same thing…
• One grand-prize winner will be chosen randomly and will take home $125! Cold. Hard. Cash.  (Might not actually be cold or hard. Actually it’ll probably be a Paypal transfer. You’ll have to check with Crystal….)
• The grand-prize winner will also get to choose one of the following charities to receive the rest of the pot – Big Brothers Big Sisters, the SPCA, Tabitha, Red Cross, or World Wild Life!!!

Summary and Giveaway

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The post Welcome to The Great Thanksgivi​ng Giveaway!!! Chance to win $125 and Choose a Charity to Receive Money, too!!! appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.

The American dream is one so that any person can do anything they want if they try hard enough and apply themselves.

So what happens when you wake up covered in flour and realize that your credit stinks?

(Yes, that sentence was solely for the purpose of including this picture in the post. I just HAD to use it. So there you go. A forced connection…)

Well… there’s a lot you can do.  Here are 3 thoughts on the topic.

1. Just start doing postive things from today on.

The best thing you can do is change your habits moving forward.  Pay every bill and pay it on time. If you don’t have the money, work odd jobs and odd hours.  Sell stuff.  Hustle.  It takes a long time to recover from even one late or missed payment. Above all of your bills, keep your credit cards and loans paid and on time.

2. Scour your report. Your true score may be higher than you think.

Inspect your credit report for errors. Be sure to look for accounts that you have closed being listed as open, late payments that were actually on time, or any other error. If you find an error, write a letter to the credit bureau and include any proof that you have such as receipts or letters from the creditor.

If that happens your score could go up quickly.

3. Stop opening new accounts, consider slowly and carefully closing newer existing ones, but consider your credit utilization ratio.

I know, I know… closing accounts can damage your history.  But you’ll get way more out of doing things well than trying to game the system.

Too much credit can also scare off lenders with how much you could potentially spend in a short period of time.  And new credit inquiries tell people you’re trying to borrow more money and drop your score too.

So if you’re trying to improve your credit score to restructure your existing debt to lower interest loans, having a lot of available credit could act as another barrier and applying for new cards or loans can work against you.

So how do you strike a good balance? Consider closing some newer accounts as you pay down your debt to keep a low ratio of credit utilization and not have a ton of available credit compared to your income!

This one is truly a delicate balance. But if you’re looking to move forward with a conservative credit plan, it’s be one to consider.

So there you have it. 3 Ways to Repair Your Credit.

It’s not get rich quick, although #2 might show a quick bump.  

Before you begin on your journey to repair your credit, take some time to work out a strategy for your future. Set goals to repair your credit and cut your spending where you can. You need to regulate your borrowing and financing in order to avoid getting knocked down on your credit again.

The bad news is you are in this mess.  The good news is you can get out of it.

The post 3 Ways to Repair Your Credit appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.

Today, for the first time in the 4 years that Step Away from the Mall has been active, the site is being taken over by someone who is actually qualified to talk about money…

I’m doing a blog swap with Kristin over at Payment Free Life today.  What that means is that I’m knocking the quality of her blog down a few notches while she classes things up over here for a day.  Don’t worry, I’ll be back to destroying the fabric of America soon enough.

In the meantime, you can find me speaking about Money and Marriage over at her blog today. But it might surprise you to learn that I actually have been cheating on you since June 2013.  That’s right.  I’ve been writing about marriage over at my other blog, Confessions of a Terrible Husband for a year.

Curious yet?  Check me out over at Payment Free Life today.

Now get prepared for some useful info for a change:

I hate paper. As a tax preparer and small business owner, I deal with lots of paper. I have receipts for my business, donation recipes, contracts, benefit paperwork, IRA and bank statements and other miscellaneous pieces of paper. This was the most recent stack on my desk.

Do you have a stack of paper like this on your workspace? Have you filled up your filling cabinets and are worried where the next batch of papers will go? Are you losing out on tax deductions because you can’t find your receipts?

It’s time to get rid of the paper

I’m not suggesting that you just shred everything and pray that the IRS does not come knocking on your door.

It’s time to go electronic.

The IRS does not require that you keep the original receipt. The only requirement is having a facsimile of the receipt. A facsimile could be a photocopy, photograph, scan or email confirmation. This allows you to make electronic copies of all of your receipts and get rid of all that paper that is cluttering up your workspace.

Getting started

This might take a little time and possibly a little money to get started, but you can get started for free as long as you have access to a camera. Here are the steps to convert to a paperless work space.

1. Sign up for electronic statements. I no longer receive any of my bills or statements in paper format. I get an email when the statement is ready. I can go online and download the statement but most of the companies I do business with save all my statements online for me. This cuts down on about 70% of the paper that previously came into my house.
2. Create some digital folders. I have a folder on my computer called 2014. In that folder, I have folders for more specific items I need to track like home repairs, business expenses, and charitable contributions. Don’t go crazy with the folders. You’ll get frustrated with the system and stop using it. A miscellaneous folder is a good thing to have.
3. Opt in for electronic receipts. Some stores, like Staples and Home Depot, have started offering electronic receipts. I love this option. By the time I get home, the receipt is already in my inbox. I print the receipt to a PDF or download the attached PDF and file it in the appropriate digital folder. This saves me the step of having to scan the receipt when I get home.
4. Create digital copies of any remaining pieces of paper. Depending on how much scanning you do each month, you may want to get a scanner. I have a Fujitsu ScanSnap. This is a pretty beefy scanner but I use it to scan multipage client documents. If you just need to scan a few pages at a time, this scanner might work well for you.Both scanners use wifi and can save documents directly to Evernote, Dropbox and Google Drive. If you don’t have a scanner, take a picture of your receipts. This might be a pain for multipage documents, but for normal receipts this works well. Just make sure to check the picture to ensure the text is legible.
5. Have a backup plan.This does not mean keeping the paper! This is the biggest concern for clients who want to convert to a paperless system. What happens if my computer crashes? My response is always “what happens if you have a fire or break in?” No matter what happens, I have an offsite backup of all my files. Make sure that all of your electronic files are backed up. You can use Evernote, Dropbox or Google Drive for free. You can also get an automatic backup service for your computer.

I first implemented this plan seven years ago when I started my business. This system saves me time, money, aggravation and space in my work space. I can easily file all of my receipts from my desk. I don’t have to purchase more file folders, file boxes and file cabinets. Whenever I need to find a receipt, I can easily find it in my electronic files. It makes my life so much easier.

Unfortunately, this system will not help free up space when very large cats decide to invade your work space.

Kristin Ingram is the owner of Kristin L. Ingram, CPA, a tax and consulting firm in Connecticut and a college instructor, teaching various accounting classes at a local university. You can find out more about her frugal adventures at www.PaymentFreeLife.com.

The post 5 Steps to Win the War with Paper appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.

For the first 5 years of working in NYC I lived on the same City block as my office. That means I didn’t even have to cross a street to get to work. Just down one elevator take about 30 steps and up another.

I thought it was pretty cool at the time.

And then my wife and I started “making babies.”

So our 650 square foot “mansion” in NYC “started” getting a little tight…

And like the “completly original” people we were, that prompted a move to NJ. And a 45-minute commute each way.

That’s at least 90 minutes each day of me underground. On top of my work day.

Yet the decision to move and have a commute may have been one of our “top 10” best decisions ever.

Why? A lot of reasons that I’ll get into in a separate post.

But one of the reasons is that it gave me an opportunity to turn my commute time into an incredibly valuable personal and business growth center.

Here are 3 ways you can do the same.

1. Read or listen to great content about how to become better at something.

I can’t tell you how many times I heard music “bustin’ outta” people’s headphones on the PATH train. That’s cool and everything. I like me some good music, too…. But unless it’s paired with a book in your hand or is just a once-in-a-while “brain break” you miss a great opportunity to grow in some area of your life.

So read or listen to books (or podcasts) about being a better husband, wife, parent, sales person, athlete, etc. Then apply the lessons you learn to your life and you just got incredible value for time that often goes wasted.

2. Dial for Dollars. (If you can do it safely, of course.)

Are you a coach? Salesperson? In charge of placing orders over the phone? Captain Conference Call, a lesser-known cousin of Spiderman?  Do it from the road.

If you can do it safely, schedule a coaching call (if your commute is short, perhaps a “mini commute coaching special”) during your commute. I love doing this!

Check in on clients. Take some telephone work on your commute.  Have that conference call on Route 95. Just don’t take notes… Have someone else on the call do that who isn’t driving, cool?

A special bonus for this is that you might get to leave the office early and protect time with your family from being eaten away by that call if you had to stay in the office for it.

3. Use voice recognition or voice mail to record content for a blog, book, or speech on a topic that you know and love.

Want to become a public speaker but don’t know how to find the time?

Want to blog but don’t know when you’ll be able to write?

Have you been waiting for six years to write the next best American novel?

Do it during your commute time.

Call and leave yourself a voicemail with the bones of a blog post.

Or do it with a conference call service.

Sign up for a free call recording service like FreeConferenceCall.com. Set up a call for your commute time. Call yourself with a bluetooth headset like this one that works surprisingly well (<— affiliate link to Amazon. If you buy it through that link I get something like six million dollars and a private island. Maybe less.).

Record the call and then catalog it. You can either use voice recognition software to listen to the recording and transcribe it for you for FREE and then just need to clean it up.  Or you can send it to someone on Fiverr or odesk.com to do it for you for a few bucks.  If you choose the few bucks route make sure you have a plan to make that $$ back.

But the point is that you’re that closer to your speech, blog, or book. And you got the first draft at that content on the road.

So there you have it. 3 ways to be more productive on your commute time.

Do you have a commute? How long? What do you do during your commute? And what could you do to turn it into a profit or growth center?

The post 3 ways to turn your commute to a profit center. #3 Can make you a LOT of money! appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.

Last time I checked in with the “goins on” in my world, I was just about to get whacked by a jacked up Russian guy for giving him back nearly $10,000 of pure gold that someone accidentally mailed to me.

Yes, you read that right. Whacked for returning gold that was sent to me by mistake.

I know some languages just seem like yelling and cultures who speak “yelling languages” often seem like they’re yelling even when they speak English.

And I know Russian qualifies as one of those languages.

But this dude was all up in my face.

Thankfully, your prayers have served me well so far and nobody on the US Sanctions List has come “a knockin'” at my door to invite me on a ride over a bridge to nowhere…

After a week or so I thought the story was over. And I almost forgot about the whole ordeal.

If you haven’t read the posts yet, here’s part 1, and here’s part 2.

Go ahead and read up. Because the rest of this post is going to make absolutely no sense if you don’t know the setup.

Great. Now that you’re up to speed you might be surprised to know that the story didn’t actually end with me speeding off into the sunset like an all-you-can-eat Mexican food buffet speeding through your digestive system.

And part 3 started just the same as part 1. An unexpected package notification.

“Nice try, Package McScrappy,” I thought. “I’m not falling for this one again.”

I ignore it.

Another package notice. A different one.

I now remember I was expecting a book. One of these two must be it.

So I decide to stop by on my way home from work. I park very carefully and leave my driver’s window open so I can get all Dukes of Hazard up in that place if it turns out this is all a ploy to lure me to my demise… (you probably think that’s a joke… if you do, you don’t know me well enough yet…)

After all, the guy knows that my name is similar to his. He could just butcher his name a bit and there’s a 50% chance Package McScrappy will ask me if it’s mine.

I walk in like a ninja.

No Russian in sight. But I do see Package McScrappy.

“Hey, I’m here to pick up my mail,” I said.

“Here you go,” he replies, knowing exactly who I am and what my mailbox number is.

I quickly scan the boxes. My name is perfect on both.

The first box was the book I was expecting. Sweet.

Then there’s the second box.

I open the box.

Inside, like the gold box, is another box.

“Oh no, not this again,” I think.

I open the inside box.

Popcorn. The packing kind. Not the tasty kind.

And two envelopes. A regular one. And a padded one.

I open the padded one first.

A coin.

Seriously.

WTF?

This one looks silver though.

I look back at the box again.

Yep. It’s my name and mailbox number on it. It was totally sent to me.

So I go for the regular envelope.

It’s a letter. Addressed to me. From the sender of the gold.

It’s a thank you letter for returning the gold. And yes, that’s a real silver coin worth about $25 as a thank you.

No mystery. No mistakes.

And, best of all, no Russian guy!

I’ll call that a win.

And now I’m officially $25 richer!

What’s the last unexpected surprise you’ve received?

How about sending someone a “thinking of you” email or text. Just to say hello. It might not be a $25 silver coin. But it will make them feel like a million bucks to know you’re thinking of them.

The post An(other) unexpected package. Seriously. appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.

Last time I checked in I was about to be put on hold.

I had ($10,000 in pure gold in my hand that didn’t belong to me, and I just got customer service from the sender on the phone.

Good afternoon, my name is [who can remember these details?!?!]. It will be my pleasure to serve you today. How can I assist you?

Hi. I received some gold from your company, which is the good news. The bad news is I never ordered any gold and am pretty sure you’re going to want me to send it back to you. What would you like me to do?

Pause. (Like a really loooong awkward pause.)

Hello.

Hi, yes, sir. I’m here. Can you say that again please?

I did, naturally.

Well, thank you so much for calling. That was very honest of you. Would you mind if I put you on hold for just one minute?

Sure.

A minute goes by. She gets back on the phone. Asks me for the info on the package, order number, my name, etc.

Needless to say, they hadn’t heard this one before.

On hold again.

Hi, Sir. Do you mind if I connect you with our insurance provider?

Nope. But can you just send a packing slip and I can stick it back in the mail? Or if you have the buyer’s contact info I’m happy to bring it over to him. I know I’d want my stack of gold if it were me…

I’m sure we can do something. But our insurer is going to want to coordinate it.

OK.

On hold again.

Can I give your email address and phone number to our insurer?

Sure.

End of call.

Great. Insurance company. Sounds like it’s going to be a fun night…

At this point I was pretty surprised at how complicated “sending back someone else’s gold” was turning out to be.

I mean, it came in a box. I can send it back in a box. Just call FedEx or UPS, give them your debit card number and say “There will be a strikingly handsome guy coming in. Eyes as green as a spring forest. Kind of a stocky frame. He’ll be carrying a box. Whatever it costs to ship that back to me just charge it to this card. Make sure you compliment his sense of style. Kiss him on the lips. Tell him he looks “tall” today. And get that box to me. Make the process as simple as possible.”

But, nooo. I had to talk to “insurance people.”

Incidentally, if you ever need to get an insurance person’s attention real quick, “I have $10,000 of pure gold that you’re insuring” works pretty well….

My phone buzzed. Voice mail. I missed his call.

Then an email, which was something to the effect of:

I left you a voice mail as well. My client advised me of the issue. I would like to thank you for your honesty and coming forward by contacting us about the error. My company is responsible for correcting this error as we provide the insurance until it reaches the correct final destination.

I have been informed that you are not comfortable with providing your address, which I respect. Would it be possible for you to provide me with the address of a local Fed Ex location that you would be agreeable to bring the package to. I can then e mail you the Fed Ex label for the return of the package to my location addressed below. This way the shipment will be paid for and fully insured.

Please advise me if this would be a suitable arrangement for you.

Thank You again.

Yours Truly,
[The Insurance Guy]

Finally, a simple solution.

I respond with a location. He sets it up. But I’m already home at this point, so I ask if he minds if I send it the next day after work.

Yes, I asked if I could keep the gold for a day.

At this point I had naturally gained some trust, so he said OK.

The next day things took a turn.

The morning starts out like any other.

I head to the gym. Pocket full of gold. Trying to act natural.

Then I head to work, pack up the gold, taking pictures to document me putting it in the box. All of it. I print out the label and get ready to cry like a baby while returning the gold on my lunch break.

Then the phone rings.

The voice on the other line was nervous.

Nick?

Yes.

It’s [I forget the name]. I gave you that package yesterday. Do you remember?

Wanted to say: Um… yeah… the raw gold? I think I remember something about that. Let me think for a minute. Nope, that was the other box of raw gold. Wait, I think I got it. Nope, that was the original copy of the Declaration of Independence. Ok, yeah, I think I got it now. Raw gold. Yesterday. Yes, it’s ringing a bell.

Actually said: Yes.

Well the guy who was supposed to get it had it sent the wrong way, so we thought it was for you. But he’s here and would like his package. Do you mind bringing it by?

Of course I didn’t mind. But since I had been in touch with the insurer and the sender, I wasn’t sure it was that simple at this point.

So I just said that I would be happy to but wanted to call the insurer to make sure they were on board.

Needless to say, they were very much on board. And confirmed via e-mail to me that it was OK for me to do that.

So now I’m on my way to give the guy his gold.

I get there and see a guy outside of the door on his cell phone.

A big guy. Like, BIG.

And he doesn’t seem very happy.

So I suspect it’s the “other Nick.”

“Are you Nick,” I ask.

Dude just looks at me.

“Nicholas?”

Just looks at me.

Then he turns back to his phone call and says:

IN. A. THIIIIIICK. RUSSIAN. ACCENT.

Vait. I sink ve jest make sahm progress.

The Russian accent didn’t seem relevant at the time…. But the dude wasn’t happy. And looked and sounded intimidating. So I wanted to make sure I had a witness to “the handoff” and went in the store – with the gold.

He followed.

Part of me wants to break it down into three posts. Because it would be really fun to play “guess what happens next” at this point

But I won’t do that to you again…

I will, however, break it into two parts here.

Take a pause (for the cause?) and try and guess what happened next before you keep reading. And in the comments let me know how you THOUGHT it would turn out and your reaction to how it ACTUALLY turned out!

Still here? Great!

So here’s the setting. There’s a thin hallway and a counter. Behind the counter is a skinny guy in this twenties. Kind of a hot shot it turns out. But clearly not going to be defending the President on his next trip to the Middle East. And a seventy-year-old lady. She works there because her niece and nephew-in-law (is that a term?) own the place.

I’m in the hallway. And “Nick” is between me and the door.

He’s fuming.

I’m smiling, still waiting for him to realize I’m the good guy here… returning his gold. Trying to play it cool. And super happy that I have a spare pair of Underoos in my trunk.

I look at Package McScrappy behind the counter and ask if this is the real Nick Shady.

He nods, nervously.

Nick Shady starts asking me questions.

HHHHoo. Arrre. Yooo?

Nick. I got your package by mistake and they said you were here, so I came as soon as I can. [handing him the package.] Here you go.

Vat isss diss?

Your package.

Vat isss diss BOX?

They tossed out the original delivery company package. I was going to send it back to the sender, so I packed it up nice in a box I had at the office.

Vy did yoo open ze box

[Now I’m starting to get annoyed. Doesn’t this guy know I’m the one RETURNING his gold?]

Because they handed it to me and it had a name that was very close to mine on the box. I get packages all the time. So I opened it. When I realized it wasn’t mine I tried finding you, but couldn’t so I contacted the sender. That’s how they knew to call me when you got here.

Your name iss like myn?

Yes.

Let me see your driver licensss?

[Well that’s not going to happen. Dude’s in my face and I’m going to let him see where my wife, kids, and I live? Yeah… not going to happen. And now I’m really annoyed.]

NO.

[overtly annoyed at this point]

Then I turn to Package McScrappy and ask if I need to stay for this.

He said no.

And I got out of there faster than you can say “always keep a spare pair of skivvies in your trunk.”

I was hoping I’d have a head start to get to my car and drive away fast without him following me, as at this point I’m convinced that this whole “situation” could be anywhere from “they didn’t tell him I’ve been trying to give him his gold back” to “this guy is legit shady and I’m about to lose a toe.”

I hustled to my car and drove away (not the typical direction of home or work) as fast as I could.

So far, no shady folks have come to my house or office. But if you’re the praying type, I’d appreciate a quick shout out next time for me and my family – that this whole ordeal is over.

Oh, and believe it or not, I haven’t told you the oddest part of the story:

I called Package McScrappy a couple hours later and he said the guy stayed a little longer and then left without the gold. He said to send it back.

My guess is he wanted to make sure that if some of it was missing they couldn’t pin it on him, so he wanted them to start over. But there are so many more possibilities that exist, aren’t there?

So that’s it. Lots of oddities. But I’m pretty sure there’s a happy ending in there somewhere….

Now tell me, how did you think this story was going to end at the end of part one? And what do you think about how it ACTUALLY turned out? Why do YOU think he left without the gold?

The post The day I returned nearly $10,000 in PURE GOLD… appeared first on Step Away from the Mall.