Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living

So you think you can coach?

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 18:40:00 +0000

Hola! I'm back blogging.

Heyha-s! I've been missing in action for some time. I've been enjoying my holiday while doing some part time badminton coaching. I just got my result on Wednesday and it was a huge relieve when i received the result back in college. The result was unexpected and thanks to Ms Yusnita for the As and Mr Beng for a smooth completion of my degree course. I was unable to sleep the whole night before the result was out. Thank God, everything was on the right track and so the next thought began- What am i going to do next? I'm still interested in the field of psychology; particularly in sports psychology. I'm looking for opportunities but first i have to gain experience as a sports psychologist/mental trainer.

During the first week of my holiday, i attended a coaching course organized by the BAM. I've gained some valuable insight that probably changed my coaching principles towards children in the future. Even though i've been an ex-national player before, it doesn't mean i'm competent enough to be a good coach. In fact, i'm humbled by how little i know about being a knowledgeable coach, be it in sports science theorectical knowledge or in practical application and experience as a coach. I believe that there are ex-players like me who thought that we knew everything about the game but yet we know nothing but the pride had left us missed the opportunity to learn to growth as an individual and a better coach. Being a player, they just have to follow the coach's instructions to train but as a coach there are unlimited responsibilities that one have to shoulder especially in coaching young talented kids. Perhaps one of the most important thing that i realize and was able relate to myself in the past as well as the young players today is the whole unsystematic/unethical training of young talented players today are being push too early and too hard. Why? Pressure, competitiveness and coaches just want results without having second thoughts on the possibilities of injury and growing mechanism disruption of these players. Hence, many are unable to go far when they reached 17 and 18 years old. This, not to mention the psychological well being of adolescent players who experience all kinds of distractions, curiousity, emotional being, adaptability with their surrounding. Sometimes coaches just don't care about the psychological being of these young players and label them with various negative comments that probably leave a lifetime scarring in their life.

Recently, BAM hired Hendrawan to revive the back up players that seems to be so far away from Chong Wei. Few years back, Li Mao requested few players from Rashid's 2010 squad to be train under him but was being rejected - (it's all about credit, for selfish reasons if Li Mao is able to bring any of the youngster up, Rashid will lose the credits for training them in 2010 squad). So, he manage to keep all the players to himself and Li Mao was unhappy with the politics, selfish environment and uncooperative nature among the coaches that drive him to return to Korean team. At least he is well respected in Korea and they treat him well unlike in Malaysia. Now, after a couple of years, there is no players from Rashid's 2010 squad that can narrow their gap with Chong Wei and they start to panic. Thus, the hiring of Hendrawan to revive the back-up players. Rashid mentioned in NST

"Hendrawan is known as an excellent worker, especially with lesser gifted players and he himself is an example of how well a player with a small physique can be so successful on the international stage.

"Hendrawan will definitely offer something new for the players. The majority of the our back-up players don't have the advantage of size so we hope that he (Hendrawan) will be able to relate his experience and pass on his effective training methods.

"If this group still fail to become established internationals, we have to start looking at younger talent and start focusing on them."

Personally, i think the comment is stupid. What's more, there are rumours saying Hafiz and Kuan Beng Hong will be place under Hendrawan. Just admit that you are not good enough for the job and don't blame it on LESS GIFTED players and save yourself some face when BAM already doubting your ability. This makes me wonder what's so great about a coach who can only produce Lee Chong Wei who is more talented from the rest of the players in the country? If the coach is so great, he should have produce 10 Lee Chong Weis.... having said that, i agree that talent is important in grooming world class players.

How long does it take BAM to realize that they lack talent management and what is the use of implementing coaching licenses for the grass root level and louding the importance of sports science but yet they do the opposite by hiring foreigh coaches without the knowledge of sports science at all? Funny isn't it how they think. In fact, we are not lack of talents and you will be surprise with the numbers of children & youngsters participating in various tournaments but there is no systematic development program. The state BAs are all unactive in playing their role and some BAs are even in spotlight for having corruption issues. Where the money goes?

With all the uncertainties, no wonder parents today are not encouraging their children to be professional badminton players. What is their future if they sacrifice their time, education, money and effort but end up going no where. Afterall, there is only one Lee Chong Wei.

My advise - not worth it unless your child is very very very talented.

I've finished the race finally!

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Fri, 01 May 2009 19:59:00 +0000

It took me a long time to finish my degree and there is a huge relieve after i finished my last two paper yesterday. I'm not very confident with my chemistry paper though, but hopefully i will manage to get through and for time being, i just want to relax for a while, rejuvanate and prepare for working life/job hunting.

I have settled the course fees and will be applying for graduation next week. Next wednesday will have to attend the coaching course and have to prepare myself with some read up. Meanwhile, i will be doing some badminton coaching and plan to clear up all my notes, textbooks. So, to all my juniors out there, if you want to borrow my assignments, please be quick before destroy it.. haha. I plan to revise back and read back all my psychology books within this month when i'm soooo free. Have to keep in touch with the knowledge before i lose it cause i might want to join the NSC psy department in the near future.

I can't help but to think back of my first day in college to the last day in college. A bittersweet experience for me and all the late nights rushing for assignment, arguments with group members, stress and also changes in course policy. It's not a smooth journey and i've been struggling in every semester not because of the subject course assessment but more of handling dificult people. I realize i'm not good in managing people. I'm weak and always worry about offending others when i should be tough. I end up sulking up all by myself and doing most of the work. Even to the very last semester, the same thing happen that cause me much stress and sleepless night. I remembered giving up half way through the course and wondering if i will ever complete the course. Now, i'm feeling very proud of myself.

Of course i need to thank my big bro for supporting me financially this couple of college years. I believe it is now a huge relieve for him as well. I aim to pursue a master in the near future and if possible i wish i could do a doctorate as well in my interest field in sport psychology. But all this will depends on the changes that happen in the future.

All the best to me!!

Helping Yvonne to raise fund at college

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 16:45:00 +0000

Becoming a messenger for Yvonne in her eye surgery fund raising at SEGI college.

Posted on February 15, 2009 by Stephanella

PLEASE HELP YVONNE JIE JIE TO SAVE HER EYE SIGHT…..

Yvonne Foong is one of my collegemate who is raising fund for her latest tumor on her optic nerve. Neurofibromatosis might sounds foreign to you but for Yvonne, the genetic disorder is dreadful, disabling and incurable which caused her lost her hearing. Yvonne Foong was recognised for her fight against a rare genetic disorder which caused tumours to grow randomly in her body — including a brain tumour that affected her hearing and several along her spine that weakened her limbs.

Despite the trials and tribulations, the former ballet dancer, figure skater and soprano singer fought on. Yvonne just wish to live an ordinary life just like any girl next door but it will not happen if she lost her eye sight. I cannot imagine living in a world without sound and sight. The thought of it is enough for me to count my blessing.

Please help Yvonne in anyway you can even a simple word of encouragement, an email or leaving a message on her blog. In her fear of facing blindness, let’s let her know that she is not alone.

I had two classes with Yvonne before – Abnormal Psychology and Issue and ethics. At first, I didn’t know how to communicate with her as I thought she could hear me. I was nervous as I concerned if I did anything offended her. After a few times interacting with her, it’s getting better. She is a cheerful, cute and bubbly girl. I realize that, sometimes when we are too careful, that’s when we make her feel unease. Perhaps after doing my internship with BRIdGES, I’m better in communicating with Yvonne this time around.

After learning Yvonne’s eye condition, my heart feels heavy. I still remembered chatting with her during one of our Issue and ethics class. We share our dreams, ambition and hope for the future. Yvonne told me that she is interested in Child Psychology and hopes to pursue in that field in the future. A talented student, she can grasp the deeper understanding of psychology knowledge and she presented us in one of our class presentation. I admire her persistence and optimism in life and she had the quality and charisma of a psychologist with a heart of compassion. Disability doesn’t stop her from chasing her dream but yet how many of us give up trying to chase our dream although we have an able body when we face adversities?

People says when there is a will, there is a way. Can it apply to Yvonne as well? Yvonne has the will but is there a way for her to live a normal life like any other young adult out there? Well, Only God could answer that because He is the only One who could make the way. Its weird…. While many people trying to pursue a perfect life with 5,6, 7,Cs - materialism, fame and wealth, Yvonne just wish to life like a normal girl next door. “Life is unfair and it is not fair that life is unfair”!

I always believe that every person that I met has a fate and a purpose. They might be someone who sent by God to touch my life and reminds me to be grateful. It can also be God sending me to this particular person to reach out and touch their life. A strong voice telling me to reach out and help her. I was reluctant mainly because I’m shy and introvert. Plus, what will other think of me – a busybody kay po chi who wants attention by getting close to her since she is a well-known writer and columnist. The voice getting stronger – REACH OUT TO HER NOW! Well, who cares what other think of me as long as I’m sincere in helping a friend – a valuable friend that touched my life and No WAY I’m not going to help her. Besides, what she needs most now are messengers to help her to spread the words.

At first I went to Fayette House to approach them to help her to sell the H4H T-shirt. That was before CNY. Some students bought her t-shirt but the sales were not so good mainly not many students know about it. So, the committee plans to help her to set up a booth to reach out to more students. I went to the Peer Support Group meeting and told them about Yvonne’s fund raising. To my surprise, they were aware of the fund raising but they were not aware of her possibility of going blind. They were equally surprised. I went to talk to more students about Yvonne’s condition and received much compassionate feedback. Many extended their help and went forward to offer more assistant. The result – overwhelming sales of T-shirts and books.

I went to Mydin to search for white cloth to make a banner for signature. It will cost around RM 10 per meter and we probably need 5 meter. Who to pay? I don’t know. Have to think of a way next week. Seow Ying is helping to design a message card so that students can leave a message of kind words and encouragement for Yvonne. Another 18 days to go and hopefully we could reach the target soon. It touched my heart seeing my fellow college mates came forward to support her. That is the wonder of SEGI students…. When we are united for the same cause, we can do a miracle. That’s how I feel and love most about the college. Through raising fund for Yvonne, I believe the SEGI-ADP students are getting closer and each and everyone doing a parting contributing for Yvonne’s fund raising – just like a family.

Another classmate Su Ling who is like me – from independent club volunteered herself to be Yvonne’s messenger. Other extended their help included Fayette House committee members; Psychology club president; Rose and Vicki helped Yvonne to get help from Rotary Club Subang Jaya. The psychology club also plans to do something for Yvonne as well. Vicki’s dad is a Rotarian at Subang Jaya Rotary club. I accompany Yvonne at Subang 3K for an appeal. WoW… it was an eye opener and I was SO honored to meet DATO S Subramaniam from MIC. There were probably several Datos as well and I’m not use to interacting with these upper class society people but I have to cause I’m Yvonne’s messenger. During the course of the meeting, the leaders were giving away presentations while I jot down what he said. Occasionally, Yvonne laughs at what I wrote in translation of what the leader said. My heartache when Yvonne wrote on the white board “it must be funny, if only I could listen to what he says”. We waited for them to finish off the presentation and the leader invite us- from Segi College to give a speech. I’ve been chicken outlah… Yvonne kautim herself. Man, if you listen to her speech, you will be captivated by her confidence and once again she impressed the crowd and i sighed in relieve. What a chicken messenger I am.

What’s more surprising is that I meet Salleh (ex-player and BAMcoach) and TanBoon Heong (National Double Player) is at 3K. Salleh still recognize me lah but Tan Boon Heong is my junior and I hardly know his when he was junior. Nevertheless, just say ‘hi’ to Salleh who is now the director of Kangaroo express…. Believe it!

It is a challenge in approaching people and explains Yvonne’s condition and need for fund raising. It is easier to explain to my fellow college mates, as they know Yvonne in some way and could relate to her. How to explain it to friends and family members and sometimes it is disheartening when people didn’t show any response. For them, it’s just another sad and unfortunate story in the real harsh world. Yvonne asked me why people are only enthusiastic in helping once but lose their passion in the second time. That is why she was reluctant to ask donation from the same people and fear of offending them. I told her she need to let other know more about her needs – spread the words and like she mentioned in her blog – “those who support will remain supportive and those who don’t will not no matter what you say”. In another word, God will always send someone to be her guardian angel and it doesn’t matter if people stop helping but have faith that God will send more new angels to help her and keep her safe.

I discussed with Yvonne what I had planned to help her to raise fund and I manage to ask her about her feelings at this moment. Is it fearful? “It is not blindness that I fear, it’s my dream. If I go blind, I will not be able to go to college and fulfill my dream in the future.”

I treat her a Gelatomio ice-cream before seeing her off with her mum. Eating ice-cream together with Yvonne while waiting at the entrence corridoo reminds me of my old school days. It’s like having a little sister.

Life is unfair and it’s not fair that life is unfair.

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 17:41:00 +0000

Life has never been easy and it's never fair no matter how you measure it. The best you can do is to accept that life is tough and it can never be fair and square. When you can't avoid it, you have to find away to live with it - peacefully and happily. Age is catching up and i'm growing old... haha, i found that human being can be very diverse in the way they think, act and behave but yet all of us have the similar cycle of life. The point is - if you think that life is so unfair and comparing yourself not having a life like Brat Pitt and Angelina Jolie, you can console yourself that no matter how famous and rich a person can be, we all will leave this world one day. It's just that we are different in pursuing life's destiny.

Come to think of it, Yvonne Foong always comes to my mind when i ponder about life challenges. Yvonne taught me something valuable in life and no matter how hard life can be- it stilll goes on. For this young talented psychologist wannabe, life is an opportunity. Sickness doesn't stop her from pursuing her dream and she is still fighting a battle that could cause her eyesight. She is currently raising funds to save her eye and for more details on how you could help, please visit here

Yvonne has been raising fund through t-shirt selling with a brand new design "Heart4hope". She need RM94,000 for her next surgery and currently she only manage to collect Rm 26,000. You can view the design from her website at http://www.yvonnefoong.com/

Details from Yvonne's website -

Fundraising Purpose: To pay for Gamma Knife Radiosurgery. Need to kill an optic nerve tumor and save my sight.

Hospital: Good Samaritan Hospital

Doctors: Dr. David Huang M. D. (Radiation Oncologist), Dr. Gregory Lekovic M. D. (Neurosurgeon)

Diagnosis: Neurofibromatosis Type 2 - a genetic disorder that makes tumors grow in my brain, spine, and along peripheral nerves.

About this tumor: It is an Optic Nerve Sheath Meningioma, located laterally and below the right optic nerve. It cannot be removed physically without making me blind.

Why the Gamma Knife: There are more supporting data and experience compared to other forms of Radiosurgery for treating this tumor and this condition.

Single-session Gamma Knife is safe for me because the tumor is located under the nerve, it does not encase the nerve.

Why Good Samaritan Hospital: The Radiation Oncologist here works closely with House Clinic where I’ve been treated for the past four years, and many of his patients have NF2. This is a not-for-profit research hospital. Their price for me has been discounted.

I find that establishing a consistent working relationship with doctors at a certain medical facility is beneficial for the long-term treatment of NF2.

Why this Neurosurgeon: Dr. Lekovic performed decompression of my right optic nerve in November 2008, which was the first part of the whole treatment. I want the same neurosurgeon to be involved in the second phase. He is also experienced in the overall treatment of NF2, not just this tumor.

When do you need the funds by: 28th February 2009. The opticpathways are very narrow. Any slight growth can decrease my vision further. .

How urgent is this: I have become deaf in both ears. The Auditory Brainstem Implant helps me to perceive sounds, but limited and may take many years to train. I was also born with an under-developed left eye. So vision in my right eye is very important. It must be preserved.

How can you donate:

Write cheques with your name and address behind, and pass it to my trustee.

Name to be written on cheque: Rockwills Trustee Berhad - Yvonne Foong NF Trust
Send to:

Alfin Majid
Wisma Rockwills
No. 62 Jalan 1/31A,
Off Jalan Klang Lama,
58200 Kuala Lumour
Or bank-in to:

Account no. 14235805099
Bank: Malayan Banking Berhad
Account Name: Rockwills Trustee Berhad - Yvonne Foong NF Trust
Rockwills’ Company Reg. No: 708932-T

Badminton Coaching Philosophy

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:56:00 +0000

Spring 2009 Semester has begun.....
New Spring semester started today. Back to college today for my final semester and also to take my results which surprisingly better than i've expected. I'm doing 3 subjects this semester and hopefully I can end my college years without any complication. Since i'm quiet free and only have 2 day classes perweek, i will be doing part-time badminton coaching.

I haven't sort out the training schedule yet since the players and me need to settle down first for the first week in school. The players that i'm coaching are in state level and they have high expectation to improve further. I'm trying my very best to help them but yet with the heavy course woek these semester, I don't know how much i can commit. It will be worthwhile effort if the player is sincere and commited to their goal but not all are serious. It's a great satisfaction to see the player improve and I want to break that stereotype that female coach cannot coach a male player. It's not going to be easy and i have to work very hard to prove myself. I have to use my actions to gain the trust of others about my capability. What makes me different from other coaches ? The ability to empower the players with the knowledge of psychology. Psychology in application to badminton includes - Cognitive learning, motivation, peak performance, handling stress and emotions, hypnosis, group behavior etc.

As a coach,if you know how to approach different players with different personality and gain their trust, you have succeeded half. Many coaches put a lot of concentration in the practical way of training where they forget to create an atmosphere that motivates the players to do better. Hence, the training seems dull and without direction. Training need to be specific to the individual needs in accordance to his or her weaknesses. Why waste time in training something that you've already mastered so well (having said that, you still need to maintain what you've learn) and ignore to improve on what you need (weaknesses). Therefore, many players actually found themselves stagnant somewhere even they trained very hard and wondered what happen while others are improving but they are not. The answer is simple: they have wasted so much time doing extra (quantity but no quality) training. Also, players often just follow the training programs given by the coach without knowing what is the purpose of the training. This is what we call "trainning without the brain".

I've also learned that there are certain boundaries in helping the players. In my previous coaching experience, I was doing too much for the players in every single thing to the extend my well intention "spoon fed" had caused the dependency of the players on me. The players couldn't stand on their own feet and they probably couldn't survive if they play further (the bukit jalil national junior coaches won't take care of them like i do). In the national junior squad, you got to fight fo the coach's attention and have to be very serious and determine in training. I can't help but to think that players did not appreciate what they have and take things for granted.

Besides that, being a coach, one must realize that they can't make a player a champion unless they want to. Hence, if the player do not have the heart to be a champion, even if you hire a world champion to coach him also cannot make him a champion. I believe that if a player have the desire to be a champion, no one could stop him - not even if he is without a coach.

What have i been doing?

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 17:35:00 +0000

It's been a long semester break for me and next week, i will be heading back to finish my final semester in Segi. So what have i been doing during the semester break? First of all, i ended the fall semester with a big messy bang of my life - but it's all settled now. I've started back my badminton coaching and have been busy planning how to help these players to improve their game. Visited my eldest bro in Singapore for a couple of days - celebrated Christmas and NewYear, spent some quality time with my nieces and nephews. We also manage to visit a long-time-no-see uncle in a old aged care center. It's been joyful to me and my sister in visiting my elder brother during my year end break.

I've done shopping for Xmas presents for my 7 nieces and 3 nephews. That burned a BIG hole in my pocket - probably a whole year's saving to buy Xmas present for them but the happiness on their face when they unwrap the presents were priceless. Besides that, i took the time to reposition all the items in my room and spring cleaning before CNY. Yeah, i'm also sticking to my new year resolution - reforming my life in a positive way. There is so much to anticipate this year and i'm looking forward to the important events that mark the new phase of my life.

Me and Niece Ling Ling

I like this picture very much... see the expression of my uncle, niece Nee Nee and nephew Jia Cheng. The were in a line with different generation and you could see the similarity in their features- Thats what we call "family".

My sister and her kim kia son, Jia Wai. This is the first time for my newphew Jia Wai to go oversea.. oops should say over the bridge from JB to Singapore.

Me and my sister in Orchard Road.

Niece Nee Nee and Me in Orchard Road.

Niece Ling Ling is concentration in making her first tong yuen.

So with Nee Nee.... see who make the cutest snowman tong yuen.

Cheese!

Niece Toong Toong 2nd birthday

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 16:38:00 +0000

She pulls down everything & keeps you on the toe
She slips out of all hands and makes everyone go
She makes cute faces & puts a smile on every face
She fusses for every bit, & lines up all on a race
She tires every one yet boosts them with zest
She blabbers sweet words & makes forget rest

Her smile would make you forget all pain
Her presence invigorates your every vein
Her cries would steal away your tomorrow
Her laughter would chase all your sorrow
Her charm makes the world go round & round
Her every step is like a jingling sweet sound

She fills the life of all with her tender smile
Her innocent looks, takes you away a mile
She tickles your nerve with her lovely smell
Her whisper enchants to cast a great spell
She is full of warmth and a radiant shine
Her gentle touch would shed out your whine

God Almighty was gracious and gifted a doll
Filled our hearts with joy, & happiness most of all
3rd January 2009, a day we would always treasure
Blossomed yet a year, that’s a great pleasure
Showers of blessings as you turn Two, sweetz
Happy Birthday ANGEL, my dearest niece.

My 2009 New Year Resolution

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 19:54:00 +0000

Time to bid 2008 Goodbye-Adieu

Its less than 24 hour before we welcome a brand new year of 2009. The year 2008 isn’t a smooth year for me. In fact, i experienced some of my lowest point in my life within this year. I made my new year resolution to finish my studies but due to the new petty course requirement and no-sense policy, i still have another semester to go before i finish my studies.

Lately, things are getting better and I’m looking forward positively in 2009. I’m not sure what opportunity may come in the future but what I’m concerning at the moment is that i want change in my life. I’ve been wandering too faraway and obviously, i don’t wish to continue living my life like a fool in 2008. Time wasted and i never appreciate my life.

The passing of few close elderly relatives of mine had awaken me from the avoidance of harsh reality of life. I never realize that life can be very fragile and often take it for granted by wasting it away. Terminal illness such as cancer will strike anyone in anytime and its becoming more common and we can never underestimate how easily cancer could take away your life. Being sick can be a burden for our family member and i began to worry about my lifestyle which could lead me to a fatal health condition if i don’t put a STOP to it. My lifestyle has been a mess. In the midst of my busy semester, I had irregular sleeping time, unhealthy eating habit and lack of exercise. Hence, my first new year resolution - A healthy lifestyle.

My second resolution will be my graduation in 2009 - FINALLY! This will be a huge relieve for me and my big brother who has been supported me for the longest duration time in my studies. I hope to enrol for a hypnosis course with LCCH in April.

I attended my best friend in primary school (Lai Ee)’s wedding recently and it was a joyful reunion for some of the long lost friends in primary school. One will marry next year and another the next next year. It’s amazing looking at how these best friend of mine heading to their next phase of adulthood and marriage life. I’m very happy for them and each one of them has their own version of love story in overcoming obstacles in finding their true love. Truly, they deserve happiness.

How about you? When is your turn? My friends asked me… Another best friend of mine (Sum Yee) reserved two seats for her wedding dinner which means i have 11 months to find that “person” to fill the seat. Another friend Suet Yee kept nagging me on being too laid back, too passive, too choosy - yeah, who cares… therefore comes to My third resolution - try to socialize more and get to know more people.

My 4th resolution -Volunteer some time to do charity for orphanage home or cancerlink.

My 5th resolution - Keep my things organize and well plan.

My 6th resolution - Find my way back to God and provide emotional social support in maintaining a good relationship with my family and friends.

Oops! Joe Nieh and Vivian married 10 years ago

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 17:30:00 +0000

WOW.... i'm spechless. They were actually married 10 years ago. Why all the fuss of remarry again if they are already married? What a weird couple.

Joe Nieh, Vivian Chow already married 10 years ago
Yahoo News

The dramatic twist in Joe Nieh and Vivian Chow's relationship is unbelievable. While their marriage preparations are in progress, there is a new development to their love story. According to the latest edition of Hong Kong's East Magazine, Chow and Nieh has registered their marriage ten years ago in the States. This is also speculated to be the reason why Chow has tolerated and forgave Nieh's frivolous behavior, in salvaging the marriage.

East Magazine also reports that when Chow gave up her career at its peak in 1997 for migration to the States, she was only holding a social visit visa and has to constantly renew it every three months. To save the trouble, Chow and Nieh registered their marriage under the witness of Nieh's parents and some close relatives. They had been staying in San Francisco until 1999 when they moved to Canada after Chow received her green card.

Last Thursday, Dec 18, Nieh announced unilaterally that he will be marrying Chow. According to a lawyer, their marriage registration in the States is legally effective in Hong Kong and there is no need to re-register their marriage. However, even if they were to re-register, it will not be considered bigamy as long as their spouse is the same person. Even if they were to file for divorce, it is also not necessary to do it in both countries. However assets allocation will be done according to the legislation of the country where the divorce is filed; in Hong Kong, both parties will take half of their total assets.

The media and public have also been speculating the venue of their wedding. Most believe that the highly luxurious and tranquil Hong Kong Parkview may be the place for the wedding banquet as Nieh is a member of the clubhouse. In addition, there are also reports that the couple is eyeing the Hong Kong Jockey Club at Happy Valley for its tight security and reasonable pricing. The place is also near Chow's residence and is also the best place to shake off the paparazzi.

With regards to the wedding date, Jan 5, which was previously announced, the public is expecting it to change anytime. Chow's manager Ambrose Chan tells reporters, "It should not be that soon. The marriage registration will only be approved in 15 days; it is not possible for the wedding banquet to happen immediately after the approval." The couple's bosom pal Leo Ku also says he has not received any notifications on Chow's wedding yet.

Believe it or not - Vivian Chow and Joe Ngai announcing marriage!

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:57:00 +0000

What a dramatic turnabout of the relationship of Vivian Chow andJoe Ngai. See... things happened for a reason and the scandal had become the tunabout of Vivian Chow and Joe Ngai. Moral of the story : Sometimes, bad thing happens for a reason and it could be a blessing in disguise if we learn from it. I salute Vivian Chow - she has such a big heart and she had shown a great courage to fight for the love of her life and she deserve such blissful happiness.

source: sina
translated by: Sarah @ http://asianfanatics.net

On the 18th of December, 10 days after the news of Joe Nieh kissing Zhang Mao at a bar was exposed, Joe sent an e-mail to the media at 3pm, which was titled ‘Xi (Double Happiness) final’. In the e-mail, he wrote ‘Vivian has agreed, we are preparing to get married.” 3 hours later, Vivian Chow published an official statement online, both have confirmed this upcoming high-profile wedding.

From when photos of Joe kissing another girl at a bar was exposed, to him breaking down in tears, confirming that Vivian had moved out of their home, begging for forgiveness. After that, in an interview he accepted from the media, he stated that Zhang Mao was also an innocent victim, and he said frankly that everything was his own fault. All of this was evidently heading for a tragic ending. Just when the media was crazily condemning him and the girl for being unfaithful to Vivian, the 2 suddenly announced that they are about to marry. In the e-mail, Joe wrote: ‘Only after wavering, do we understand to be firm; only after losing, do we learn to appreciate. One storm, has made us better understand each other’s love; pressure from everywhere, has made us better understand that we are inseparable. A test has achieved confidence. Vivian has agreed to marry me, we have applied for registration of marriage. Please give us your blessings!’

Vivian Chow and Joe Ngai ended their 20 years relationship.

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 10:28:00 +0000

It's been all over the news since Joe Nieh was caught kissing a girl in Lan Kwai Fong last week. There are temendous pressure from the media and continous speculation of possible separation between the two.Vivian Chow and Joe have finally spoken out in public separately, ending their 19 years relationship.

Joe said that because of his mistake he is not in a postion to be her partner anymore. Although Vivian has forgiven him, she can't stand the pressure from all sides. She chosed to be separated from Joe but stressed that they will remain friends. The reason for their split up was not directly because of Joe's behaviour, it was because of the media leading to their separation.

Vivian and Joe have been together for 19 years and next year will be their 20 years annivsersary. Vivian had told the media earlier that they were planning to have a celebration for the sweet memories for the last 20 years. But last monday, Joe was caught in camera kissing a 20 year old girl in a bar. Although Joe had apologised saying that he didn't even know that girl's name because he was too drunk to remember it. But he was lying, he knew the girl Miffy and has been seeing her for a while.

Vivian stated that she treasured the 20 years she had with Joe and hopes they can remain friends. Although Joe also stated he didn't want to split up with her, he has been living under the shadow of her being take charge for 20 years. On one hand he is responsible for wasted her 20 years of her youth with him, on the other hand it also gave him the opportunity to be free.

Joe had moved out from Vivian's apartment in Happy Valley. He is now seeking help from counselling. He wanted to be close friend with Vivian even though they have split up. Vivian blamed the media to put an execution on Joe. She was angry "One person's mistake, two people have to suffer." She expressed that her partner has every right to make mistakes, and she had forgiven him. There is no need for the media to give him a death penalty. Vivian expressed "I have had the greatest love affair with Joe. I never regreted loving him and I will remember him in my heart forever."

Source:MingPao
"Translator:dragon888 @ http://www.asianvn.com"

Curious of how the girl named Miffty Zhang Mao looks like?

THE CHRONOLOGY OF THEIR LOVE HISTORY

Source: World Journal - UDN News
Translated by Cmiley @ asianfanatics

Year 89:

Just broke up with Michelle Lee and started pursuing Vivian Chow, and also uses his own magazine to attack love rival Canti Lau Sek Ming (劉錫明).

Year 94-96:

The two temporarily break up, Vivian in relationship with Japanese businessman Mr. Kawamura, Joe rumoured to have started liking Monica Chan Fat-Yung (陳法蓉).

Year 96:

The two reconcile, relationship deeper, also Vivian holds last concert before moving to Canada with boyfriend.

Year 98:

Joe writes in Ruby Yiu Lock Bik (姚樂碧)'s new book; "Conversation is quite keen on reaching a climax" (言談上達到頗為劇烈的高潮) describing their relationship, causing him and Vivian's relationship on the rocks, pressuring Joe to "Cut Off 絕交" the line between Ruby Yiu.

Year 06:

Joe revealed cheating again, used SMS plus roses to strongly pursuing Anita Chen Wing Yin (陳穎妍), but Vivian still stood up for boyfriend.

Year 07 April:

Joe and 25 years old model Esther meet to eat beef noodle at Wanchai, then Joe stayed shortly at the females place, after incident revealed Vivian immediately moved out of the love nest, then Joe took her to S. Africa to relieve stress as compensation.

Year 08 Oct:

Vivian along with Joe and two elders to Central for tea, shows the two's stable relationship.

Year 08 Nov:

Vivian attends function and says, next year will be 20 years of meeting Joe, and also sweetly says they need to do a celebration function.

Year 08 Dec 6:

Joe photographed in Lan Kwai Fong kissing university student Miffty after drinking, after incident lowered head to apologize, and received generous forgiveness from girlfriend.

Year 08 Dec 10:

Exposed Joe months ago was already contacting Chinese model Emma Pei (裴蓓) on Facebook, and personally invited her to the bar near the snooker club to meet, at then end Joe and Vivian broke up.

It’s always hard and sad for me to say goodbye

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 23:00:00 +0000

People say for every meeting, there will be parting. For some parting will be forever and others, it will be temporal. It is hard to describe those sad feeling in that moment of seeing someone off. It’s like a sudden emptiness with a heavy heart missing the person that is going to be apart from me.

When I was a kiddo, I used to have this sad separation anxiety. It’s always hard for me to say goodbye to those who dear to me. The first time I experience this was in primary year 2. During one fine afternoon, papa was at home and I just cried and wouldn’t want to go to school. I don’t want to be apart from my parents. I don’t know why I felt that way but going to school and being apart from them makes me feel insecure.

Years after the incident, I still have the same feeling when I have to part with my family members. When I was 12, my elder sis got married and I experienced the same sadness knowing she will no longer living with us. One day, I saw mama crying when she flipping through some of my sister’s clothes. I realize then, I’m not the only one who missed my elder sister.Similarly, there was once when papa drove bro Keong to college. When we reached the college entrance, as he got off the car, I felt a rush of sadness being apart from my brother. I missed him and got teary eyed that instant when I said goodbye.

I felt the same sadness when I was selected to join the national badminton academy (hostel based + schooling) in 1994. The badminton academy was very strict and players were only allowed to go home on Sunday morning and have to report back at 7pm. Basically, it’s like a jail – I used to cry every Sunday at a specific 5pm because I had to go back to the “jail” badminton academy and I knew that I would be apart from my family. I don’t want to be apart from them and I’m not happy there. No one bother to care for my feelings and how hard have I been struggling inside the badminton academy. I cried in silence.

I remembered I used to visit my eldest brother in Singapore during some badminton tournament and got teary eyed each time I have to leave. He came to see me even though he was staying quiet far away. It was emotional each time when I had to say goodbye. Each time, when he send me off - getting into a cab or a bus and waving goodbye to him makes me feel sad for I wouldn’t know when I can see him again.

Similarly, I felt heavy hearted each time sending Brandon off to the airport. I used to hold back my tears, give him a hug, waving to him and see him go. Then, I will turn back and cried. It was hardest to say my last goodbye to him when we seperated, knowing that this person will not be part of my life anymore.

Of all the partings and goodbyes, nothing compare to the sadness and grieve that I've been through when I did not manage to bid my last goodbye to Papa and Mama.

Today, I said goodbye to Jigme. Jigme had been a wonderful friend and is one of my closest and best friends. He had been there for me when I was in the most difficult time and showed me encouragement and support. He had completed his study this year and went back to his home country in Bhutan. It’s hard to say goodbye to him as he is like a family member to me. I felt a surge of sadness being apart from this wonderful friend of mine and I’m going to miss his presence in my life.

What I’ve learned from all those goodbyes? People will always come and go in my life and I’m thankful for those who gave me life, touched my life and left a footprint in my life.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE

Sometimes people come into your life and you know
right away that they were meant to be there, to serve
some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help
you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

These people may be – family members, a roommate, a
neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a
complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them,
you know at that very moment they will affect your
life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible,
painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you
find that without overcoming those obstacles you would
have never realized your potential, strength,
willpower, or heart.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness,
and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of
your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they
may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight
flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and
comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the
success and downfalls you experience, help to create
who you are and who you become. Even the bad
experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are
sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, give love back to them in
whatever way you can, not only because they love you,
but because in a way, they are teaching you to love
and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your
heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn
about trust and the importance of being cautious to
whom you open your heart.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take
from those moments everything that you possibly can
for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk
to people that you have never talked to before, and
listen to what they have to say.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your
sights high. Hold your head up because you have every
right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and
believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in
yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in
you.

You can make anything you wish of your life. Create
your own life and then go out and live it with
absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know
what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live! Today
is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. Was
it worth it?

author unknown

The Finals Countdown....

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 15:14:00 +0000

Finally, its almost the end of the semester. Frankly, i don't know how i manage it.... it seems to be so many assignments on the list but yet, I'm now preparing for the final exam of the semester. All the assignments were submitted this week and I'm going to have a taxing exam schedule next week with 2 papers in a day.

Fellow SEGian... this is a promotion for Mr. Ari's blog... he changed his blog url AGAIN! please give face and visit his blog and rant.... complain and criticize him all you want... of his essay of course... don't attack him personally la, he's a philosopher Aristotle's son Ari ada Om-ph you know... haha... www.dreamalaysia.blogspot.com

Looking forward to spend some time with my nieces and nephews during my semester break and plan to use my time wisely for coaching purpose. That's all for now... Ciao

Another week before finals - some updates from me

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 18:51:00 +0000

Its been a long long semester and finally its going to finish soon. I have another 2 assignments due this week and practically i have no time to study for my finals. I'm more than relieved now that my major assignments and internship report were submitted last week. I still have photography assignment due this week and writing for media articles & newspaper. Intercultural communication test will be on this Thursday and everything seems to be fast forwarding now.

Despite of all the hardship, I'm looking forward for my semester break in December. My sister and I are planning to visit our Big bro in Singapore on the 2oth of December-23rd of December. It's been quiet a long time and i miss my nieces in Singapore. I was unable to pay them a visit during my summer semester break because my internship and the passing of my sis's father in law. Btw, my "Suk Gung" also passed away last week. Suk gung is my maternal grandpa's brother (uncle Chuan and Aunt Lily's father). Bro Keong, sis and I went for the funeral and it was rather... weird. Alas! I don't recognize most of my relatives there except for "suk poh" and the taoist "Fatt" uncle that work for chinese funeal rituals. I sat down and talk for a while with "suk poh"... guess what? she talk hakka with me man... i undestood what she said... but how to answer leh.... heh loh... umm... ngai ng ti tau.... mau suon kon. Apparently she lost both her eyesight due to old age illness and being 82 years old this year, she looks pale and weak. Suk gung's face was very peaceful and seems to be smiling. When we gathered around the coffin to get a closer look at him.... suddenly his eyes opened a bit.... and smiling face. It's a rare occasion to have seen someone died peacefully ending his journey and returned back to God. It's a Christian funeral and whats amusing is that, among the relatives, there is one taoist uncle who works for chinese funeral rituals.

It's rather complicated that in older generation when a family use to have too many children, the couple would give away their child for adoption. My grandpa was such a case where he was born in the Chan family but was sold away to a Yong couple. Hence my mother's surname was Yong. Those generation also practices polygamy and polyandry marriages where they have multiple partners and there was no marriage certificate but only wedding ritual to officiate the marriage. My father decided to stay away from our relatives and isolate ourselves to prevent complication because of mom's illness. I did not know i have so many uncles and aunties until i was 15 years old. All this year I've only known one uncle Yong Kow. Suddenly, all the relatives from my father's side appeared. Apparently, they've been searching for him over the years and failed to locate him. Then, someone passed away and my aunt publish an find-people-advertorial on newspaper to locate my father. It was successful and i know when my aunt/relatives meet my father; it was an emotional one. There were happiness and joy in that reunion. However, for me... i wonder what happened. Can you imagine, I'm clueless to this day of who-and-who to address and sometimes its very confusing where there is incongruence between the title and the person. Eg. To call a cousin bro who has full white hairs. Well, since both of my parents passed away, my brothers, sister and I rarely contact any of the relatives. Why? We hardly contact each other within ourselves... whats more relative la. I think if i bump into any of them on the street, I might not be able to recognise them.

Back to my studies, another week to go before finals. Just want to finish it off as soon as possible. Checked the course fees statement, there are outstanding facility charges about a thousand. SEGi is money sucker la... and compared to HUC, the quality of education and lecturer here does not worth the money paid. Yeah, most of the lecturers here are nice people but there are also difficult ones like the subjects that I'm taking this semester. Gosh!I really dislike the laid back culture in this college. I wasn't like this when I was at HUC and because of the different college's culture, I was among one of the many HELPIANs who encultured into this laid back college culture. Another laid-back-last-minute group project due tomorrow... God bless me!

There is possibility that i might want to take a hypnosis course next year. I will be useful for me in the future if i have that qualification. I will start my badminton coaching immediately after my finals. Got to save some pocket money to but Christmas presents for my nieces and nephews. It's not easy task to choose present for 8 nieces and 2 nephews. When my first nephew Loh Jia Cheng was born, he was like the little king. Everyone spoilt him. Now after 14 years, guess what? He is still like a king.... KING KONG. He is no longer the little cute Jia Cheng. He has grown up and approaching his teenager years. All of my nephews and nieces are very close to me. Sometimes, i really need to stop and reflect back how time has change me and people around me. That's what we call the cycle of life.

Busy, busy, busy

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:24:00 +0000

Few more weeks before the semester end, i'm very busy rushing for my internship report, newspaper project, interview project, photography assignment, and write up for news article. I'm going to Malacca this Friday with a group of children that i coached (Bakti) for a friendly game and motivational camp. At first i thought i want to go to relax la... suddenly the head coach asked me to arrange some motivational seminar or games and activities for the children. Haiz...

I will be bringing along my assignments as well. Oh, how i wish th semester will end sooner. Seriously i'm soooooo tired this semester. Oh yah, my childhood friend Lai Ee is going to marry on the December 28. So happy for her... the first one to walk doen the isle.

My goodness, i really fed up with some of the "tidak apa" attitude by some of my group members. I've already initiated for us to do the project together, just we need the cooperation but no one wants to listen. So be it. I can forsee the stress that we are going to face but they still dilly-dally and thought that it's easy to do last minute. I don't know if we could submit the newspaper in time.....Hai.....

Meanwhile, i'm thinking what to do next year after finish my study.

Malaysia's journalist - good or bad?

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 04:34:00 +0000

Ms P was a journalist working with one of the most opinionated (msm) paper in Malaysia. She told me of her history of working as a journalist and how she gave up her job because of the restriction of expression in her writing. The last article she wrote was about the riot in Kampung Baru, involving Anwar Ibrahim. Apparently, she was there at Kampung Baru whole day and experiences the high and hike of the riots and the police also beat her with a baton.
After a long hard day, she finally wrote the article with a swollen leg and e-mailed it to his editor. Then, off she goes to sleep like a pig. The next morning, to her horror, she read the article that supposedly she wrote but yet nothing was what she reporting. She was emotional in her writing and was expressing the real situation in the Kampung Baru riots but the article published in the paper did not carry that message.

Ms P was not happy that the editor cut off all her hard gained news article and with an attitude of a free speech journalist, she threw the article to her boss and demands an answer why her article was being changed to something that is not the truth. The article appeared to be nothing serious and everything was fine. 2 weeks later, she gave her boss her resignation letter and venture herself in teaching career.

With a strong journalism background, Ms P’s experience in writing for media has helped us to understand the challenges being a journalist. Ms. P’s story makes me appreciate the contribution of journalist because they really work hard for their passion in gathering news to inform the public. However, I must say not all journalists are as ethical as we think. There are time that they have misinterpreted the meaning and context of facts and when such wrong interpretation of facts will create a misunderstanding. Sometimes, I feel that reporters are not so ethical in such way that they are biased to their judgment in writing news especially those who involved in entertainment industry.
I remembered my worst experience with reporters was during my playing time. There were internal conflicts within the association and I was plague with continuous recurring injuries, which I believed were caused by the unsystematic over strained training schedule. Of course there were other reasons that I couldn’t reveal back then. The Chinese coach was corrupted and it was understood that he received money from some parents to favor their children. Ironically, this same coach had helped me to achieve outstanding results in the past year and I’ve trusted him and respected him for being a good coach. When I learned about his misdeed, I felt crushed, betrayed and I no longer respect him because of his corruption. I was unhappy with my life at the training center and I couldn’t communicate with him because whatever being discussed privately will be revealed to other parties and the whole association knows about it the next day. Hence, I decided to quit the game for good despite my good records of achievement. I was always being taught to be grateful for those who helped me before and I don’t have a heart to back stab my coach like that and expose his corrupted sins. Therefore, when the chief coach questioned me, I just revealed the training programs, difficulties in communicating and the future prospect considerations. Regarding the training program, we trained like machine and the coach did not consider why all of us in the team had injury on the knees. If I was the only one, there might not be problem with the training program but can you imagine the whole team were having a similar injury on the knee? If there is nothing wrong with the program, I don’t know what else…

Being one of the top player then, the news of me quitting surprised many and reporters came to interview the chief coach to confirm of my resignation. Guess what? The article came out was totally not what I said. It sounds like I’m blaming for the training program, which was not tailored-made for me and I’m like such a superstar that demanded attention from others. The whole article was pointed at me as being selfish, inconsiderate and childish. I don’t blame the chief coach as he is Korean and he might not understand what I meant in the first place. I can’t help but feel like being victimize here because I can’t reveal the truth. How am I supposed to clarify this to the public?

Believe me when I say I’m no quitter. I’ve always fought for my rights in the association and there are so many ugly things that happened within the association but I persevered. There is no humanity, equality and justice. I was 19 years old then and joined the full time training with a hope to win honor for my country. I was young and firm believer of justice. I believe all (players) should have an equal chance to pursue our dream in the association. We have sacrificed all of our time, studies, and time being with our family to pursue our dream to be a top player but because these employed China coaches were corrupted and they treated the players differently caused much internal conflicts within the groups. They judged the players prematurely if they can go far and they will not waste time and put any effort on those that they believed couldn’t go far. I was not expected to encounter such a problem in my badminton career and the environment inside was not good.

The experiences in the association had caused me depression and I did not handle it well. I turned to be a difficult person and I do not trust anyone inside the association. I don’t know who is sincere to help and who is wearing a mask and pretending to be kind. At the same time, my father passed away and it was a turning point that I had a changed of mind to stay on to play for the sake of my father’s dream.

The corrupted coach came to my father’s funeral and told me that I have to grown up and be more mature. After that, I overheard he said something to my ex-coach which I thought was not appropriate in front of my deceased father comparing me and those that he loves. I don’t wish my father to worry and know that his daughter was being put down in such a pathetic way. Honestly, in that instance moment, I do hate him. He can insult me anytime he wants but please keep his mouth shut during the funeral by belittling me in front of my father. There was a flame inside my heart but yet because of my faith in God, I forgive him but no one knows the betrayal of scars that the coach had left me in my life. Not long after I returned to the association, the corrupted coach had been changed but the players who were being taken care (corruption) of were blaming me for ruining their future. Subsequently, I became untrusting and it cause problems to my other coaches who tried to help me. They couldn’t understand there was a wall that I tried to build to protect myself after my father’s death and my untrusting nature. I only trust myself and I couldn’t open myself to form genuine friendship with others because of the corruption incident. I felt there is not fair competition within and I can only trust myself and no one can help me except for myself. I was lonely most of the time but I appeared to be strong and tough to mask my own weaknesses and vulnerability. I’m not entirely happy even I though I performed better than anyone else in the group. My survival there was motivated by a heart of wanting to prove to others that I’m the best and no one can stop me including bribing the coach to their favor. Those who known me, I’m a fighter for justice and fair competition. Most players are not being given a fair treatment in training and equal opportunity to improve and they need to fight to prove themselves to be better than those who are being favored by the coaches. Most of my juniors respected me for this and I will continue to champion for those who are deserted and claimed that “I cannot go far not because I cannot play, but because my father is not rich enough”.

Back to journalism, I believe most reporters know what is happening but yet they couldn’t write the truth because there are restrictions on certain boundaries of what they can and cannot write especially those negative ones. Those unethical ones will usually sensationalize the writing by adding salt and pepper. It makes me wonder what is the code of ethics of journalism? Is journalism worth trusting?

The bottom line is, not all journalists are ethical and not all are worth trusting. At the end of the day, we have to use our own conscience and judgment to decide what is right and what is wrong. Regardless of what is being reported, we are free to think and no one can stop us from evolving our thoughts.

LOUSY TMNET Streamyx !

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 10:51:00 +0000

I'm unable to access to the internet since September 15th. I thought it was only me who had this connection problem but I found out that my friends also have the same problem. What's the problem with streamyx man.... This is too much. I can't do a single assignment without the internet connection and I cannot communicate with my group members to discuss the project and assignment. Here am i ... stuck at the internet cafe to write this entry and there is no way i'm not going to complain.

Seriously, i really thought that there is possibility that the gov (MCMC) is trying to prevent people to go online during this period of time. At the same time, i've stop blogging and September 16th had passed without any changing of government.

Segi College Global Music Festival 2008

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:03:00 +0000

ATTENTION! ADP students of Segi College Subang Jaya is going to organize a so-called-biggest-event-ever "Global Music Festival" on the 1st of November 2008 at the Bukit Jalil Stadium. The event is also in collaboration with the Malaysian Mental Health Organization (MMHA), a non-profit organization that promoting the cause of mental health in Malaysia.

The Global Music Festival is a major event that organize by the students from the Intercultural Communication class under the ADP program in Segi College Subang Jaya. It will also the first event being organize outside the Subang Jaya campus. The event is open for the public and there will be selling of tickets which will be comfirm later.

At the moment, we are still looking for sponsorship and performers. For performers, if you are interested to participate and perform on that day, do drop us a mail at 2008gmc@gmail.com / breakers_sean@hotmail.com or call this number 016-9788010 (Wai Loong).

More details will be updated.

Shaky and Unsteady fall semester

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 18:51:00 +0000

It's been 3 weeks since the fall semester started and the subjects that I'm doing is not my interested field. There will be a lot of outdoor work, reporting, event coverage, snap photos, interviews, assignments and internship report. I'm sinking... and feel demotivated. I felt overwhelmed with what i have to do and at the same time, i have to deal with my bout of high rise emotions - and yea, suddenly i feel helpless and depress. I can't explain why i felt that way. I just want to get away for a while to clear off the intensity of these overwhelming emotions. I'm not feeling well since last Tuesday after the ramadan bazaar event coverage.

I need to fight those feelings. Tomorrow is another day and I need to concentrate on the important work and manage/organize my time well. If not, my stress will be doubled when all the due dates continuously haunting me. Almost every semester, there will be different challenge and difficulties that i have to go through. This semester will be no different but this semester is also one of the most challenging one for me. What to do... gambate lor!

Happy Birthday SIS Yee!

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 19:34:00 +0000

My sister is older than me 12 years. Both of us share a similar chinese zodiac which is DOG. Coincidently, our birthday is the opposite the date/month of each other. Hers fall on the 5th September (0509) and mine on the 9th of May (0905). In addition to that, her son, my newphew Loh Jia Cheng also shares a similar zodiac of dog. In our family,there will be a child born in every 12 years in the year of Dog. Interesting! Not forget to mention, i have 7 nieces, all princesses from my 3 elder brothers.

Happy birthday big sister of mine
Thank you for being there and always being kind

Thank you, for all the times you helped us through the tough
When the love in our family got thinner and faded
You were there when it all got complicated
Even when we were not in arms
I know we are still in each others hearts

You looked after us and kept us together as a family
And I thank you for that still to this day

Do you remember when we used to laugh?
And cry because we had to carry the burden of pressure that no one seems to know
We talked about everything when got to the age
And you got us through it stage by stage

But the day has now come
The day when you turn big 38
We give you today
Something no one can take away

A piece of our heart
The was not hard to take apart
Because you mean so much to us
As a sister, an Aunt, A protector and A Mediator

Live your life to the fullest extent
Live it up at every event
And know that we will always here
What ever you need
We will help you with anything indeed

From all of us here, Big Bro, Tai So, Nee Nee, Ling Ling, Bee, Yin, Wei Li Chen Qi, Wilson, Bonnie Fen and Tong Toong wish you a Happy Birthday Sis!!

I'm back blogging!

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:58:00 +0000

I've been busy with my course work which mostly focusing on journalism. Writing for media, interview, intercultural comm, photography, and HR management. Unlike most of my previous semester, the subjects that I'm doing this semester require us to do a lot of assignment outside the class. I'm not that interested in Communication compared to Psychology but still it is a major that could help me to gain some skills in a more practical way of dealing with people. While psychology is more theoretical base, i need to apply those knowledge that i've learned in my real life observation such as the political scenario in the country.

I've stop blogging few weeks ago to consider if i should end this blog for good. It is hard to maintain the blog and it had taken me a lot of time and effort to write something interesting in my everyday life. To blog or not to blog, that's the question...

After some serious consideration, i have to decide the exact niche of my blog if I continue to write on this blog. Currently, both of my blog is like "rojak" as i mixed everything into one. Afterall, I'm proud to be a Malaysian.... "all in one and one in all. "

Well, I've decided to maintain this blog as my own personal blog@life ramblings and i won't any political stuff here unless it is informational. Thus, it also signify the birth of my first political blog at www.stephanella.wordpress.com .

Many wonder why I'm interested in politic. I had a fair share of experiences dealing with politics in the badminton association. Perhaps that how i could understand and relate to the political scenario in our country. I believe that knowledge that we acquired is only useful until we are able to reason it and apply it to our real life setting. A better understanding of the purpose of knowledge can help us to be a better person - wise, mature and critical thinking, empower others and improve our life decision making.

Generally, philosophy, psychology and politics corelated with each other. It existed in our everyday life but it's just that we never aware or notice it. I've learned to apply my psychology knowledge in studying how the politician act, think and feel. What are the strategies that they use to gain the people's trust and why do some leaders seems to be more charismatic than others. In social psychology, some interesting phenomenon such as group think, comformation, superordinate goal can be observe clearly through the March 2008 election. Other than that, it is interesting to observe the emerging of the internet as the alternative media in reducing the credibility of the influence of the main stream media. In addition, people are more aware of their rights as a human and citizen of Malaysia; and also the freedom of expression and speech.

I think generally, we (Malaysian) are getting smarter nowadays. We are more aware of what is happening to the country and know what to do during the election. Afterall, it is our right to know how the government misused the taxpayer's money and the mismanagement of the country.

That's all for now and did i just mentioned no politics in this blog.... i got carried away. Anyway, if you guys want to know more about the current political issue about the country, do visit Malaysiakini or Malaysia Today. These are the best news portal that provide you some links to the best political blogs around the web. CIAO!

YOU SWEAR, I DECLARE

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 01:00:00 +0000

Malaysian Insider reported the news that DPM Najib Tun Razak swears in a mosque in Bukit Mertajam that he did not know Altantuya and is not involved in her murder.

News Via: Sun2surf

Datuk Seri Najib Razak invoked Allah’s name and swore before about 900 Umno grassroots leaders on Thursday that he was not involved in the Mongolian Altantuya Shaariibuu case.

“I even swore in God’s name … Wallahi Wabillahi Watallahi … that I do not know this Altantuya woman at all. There is no greater oath.

“For Muslims, that is most supreme and the delegation applauded loudly when I took God as my witness. Some gave praise to Allah. So that is what I can do as a Muslim,” the deputy prime minister said in an interview published in Utusan Minggu today. He was responding to a suggestion that the relentless personal attacks on him by the Opposition would create a bad perception.

“That is what is done by the Opposition. When they attack continuously, eventually if something is not true, or is a lie or repetitive slander, at the end it will either be true or at least, it will raise doubts.

“This is what is said to be a perception. In politics, perceptions are more important than truth or fact. I am aware of this game and I will face it. This is the reason why I have explained that I am not involved at all in the Altantuya Shaariibuu case.”

“Some time ago, according to Ezam, Anwar saw me as an authoritative and capable exco, but when it comes to a time when I am the obstacle to his ambitions of becoming prime minister, I become the target.”

“It’s okay. That is the spice in politics; there are challenges for whatever position we hold. The higher the position is, the more challenges. We have to face them. If we are on the side of truth, what should we be afraid of? Only if we are wrong should we be afraid.”

On Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad’s prediction that time will not permit him to be prime minister, Najib said: “I understand that Tun Dr Mahathir wants leadership changes to take place as soon as possible. He would want it to happen in December but my calculations are different. My calculation is for me to put the next election as the main consideration – not this year, or next year or 2010.

“It means I will have to make sure that the party strength is not jeopardised when I face the election as the main leader. So that is the reason, to me the date is secondary, what is most important is Umno’s strength in the 13th general election (due in 2012 or 2013).

Statutory declaration of Thagarajoo

News Via: Malaysia Today - The truth finally surfaces

Datuk K.S. Nallakaruppan and Dato’ Muhammad Shafee Abdullah were behind the conspiracy to frame Dato’ Seri Anwar Ibrahim on sodomy charges back in 1998. This was confirmed by Nalla’s driver, Thagarajoo a/l Thangavelu, in a Statutory Declaration signed on 21 August 2008.

This latest revelation puts to rest, once and for all, the speculation as to the real dalang behind the 1998 conspiracy. It appears like these same players are also involved in the latest sodomy allegation, dubbed as ‘Sodomy 2’, as revealed by Malaysia Today in an earlier report.

Rajoo also confirmed that Shafee coached him on what to say and that his coached ‘statement’ was tape-recorded. Rajoo was also summoned to Bukit Aman by the current IGP, Tan Sri Musa Hassan, who was then in charge of the case, and subsequently was brought to meet Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad so that he can repeat what he had been instructed to tell the Prime Minister.

Read further : Statutory declaration of Thagarajoo

Which one is more convincing? Statutory declaration or swearing oath?

Permatang Pauh by-election - The national polympic

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 00:54:00 +0000

The Beijing Olympic Games will be close on Sunday but our country is anticipating the “polympic” of the Permatang Pauh by-election on Tuesday (26th August). After the nomination day on the 16th August, dramatic and sensational news of campaigning activities filled the news portal.

First of all, the goodies. Najib wants Indians, Chinese to back BN - “Deputy Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak made a plea to the Chinese and Indian communities in Permatang Pauh - come back to the Barisan Nasional’s fold.”

Our DPM Najib Tun Razak, promised the Indian community of scrap metal license and funds for Chinese school renovation in Permatang Pauh as an attempt to win votes from the Chinese and Indians voters. Sorry to say but the offer sounds like a trade, an exchange of selfish temporary gain for a future of all the children in Permatang Pauh. Sounds like a deal and not a sincere aid given because they are expecting something back from the voters.

Mr. DPM, how about the thousands of other Chinese schools in Malaysia and other Indian communities that BN had marginalized? What BN had done to take care of the welfare and rights of these people? These are the people who voted BN in but yet wouldn’t if be unfair to give those goodies only to Permatang Pauh Chinese and Indian goodies instead of the whole nation of Chinese and Indian? If BN can do that, I believe the people’s trust and loyalty will be with BN. Why the desperation and it is well aware that people are unhappy with the administration of the government and these goody sweets could kill the people with diabetes. Hey… do they think the PP’s people are stupid? Some scrap metal license and school renovation can sway the vote of the people in permatang pauh. Wake up people, if there is no by election, keep dreaming that the goodies will be given to the people of Permatang Pauh.

Pic source :MalaysiaInsider.com

Do not abuse gov’t machinery, Najib told - Penang Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng today accused Deputy Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak of abusing government machinery in the Permatang Pauh by-election campaign.

I am disgusted by how Barisan Nasional took advantage of Olympic silver medallists Lee Chong Wei for their own, selfish political reasons. For some reason, Arif Shah’s explanation over the matter does not convince me. What Lee Chong Wei got to do with the by-election campaign? His success belongs to the nation not BN!

Propaganda war in full swing - Is BN’s campaign all about being a better version of Anwar Ibrahim’s ‘Merdekakan Rakyat’? Information about the campaign suggests that.

For the Permatang Pauh by-election, both parties choose a slogan that relates to the national day or the independence day of Malaysia (merdeka day). PKR opt for memerdekakan Malaysia and some copycat (BN) follow suit with the slogan of “memerdekakan Permatang Pauh” . Which one is more appealing? Malaysia for Malaysian or Permatang Pauh for Permatang Pauh? In my personal opinion, what is the use of memerdekakan Permatang Pauh if the nation continues to be monopolize by BN that fails rule the country well? Where is our peaceful, harmony, multi-racial, multi-culture, democratic and civilize Malaysia?

Khairy with his big mouth claimed that we’ve come to ‘bury’ Anwar. His arrogant attitude and remark had turn people off instead of pulling any votes for BN in the coming Permatang Pauh election. Khairy do not have the right to tell what people needs to do and what people need not to do and it is the people who decide who we should bury and not you, Khairy! I detest such an arrogant attitude and what if Bn lose in the coming by election, how would he react….. Who bury who? Unintelligent statement by Khairy because he did not leave a room to save himself from humiliation that he’s going to get should BN lose in the PP by-election

Recently, in my post Saiful: Sodomy wasn’t consensual..means he was raped? I mentioned that

It’s disturbing that people start to use religion, particularly Islam to promote justice instead of law. Is the law in Malaysia still relevant when cases like this being interfered by the religion conduct? Well, another question is who exactly witnessed the oath taking at the mosque? Apparently, it was Saiful’s lawyer Zamri and all the FT Mosque imams. Well, he should have sworn it on Quran and being watched live telecasts by all Malaysian! That will be more convincing.

Guess what? A video clip of Saifu Bukhari taking his oath that he was sodomized has been playing repeatedly at the UMNO ops room in Permatang Pauh. Wow, that’s unbelievable!

Logically, why they put the clip in Permatang Pauh and not Putrajaya or any other place in the country? The attempt to convince the people of Permatang Pauh and the nation that Saiful was really sodomized through the swearing oath on Quran procedure in the video clip was highly doubtful. This is because the timing of the swearing oath and the location of where the video clip was shown is enough to tell that it is politically motivated. In addition, would a person who was sodomized without his consent (raped) shamelessly or desperately want the whole world to know about it?

Racist mentality - Anwar ‘diserang’ bekas orang kuatnya…

“Saya tidak tahu sebabnya, tetapi dia menawarkan jawatan pengerusi PKR negeri kepada Jeffrey Kitingan yang sebelum ini dipegang oleh orang Islam,” katanya. Ketika ditemui di Seberang Jaya semalam, Saidatul Badru berkata, sepatutnya Anwar mengambil daya usaha menyatukan umat Islam di seluruh negara dan bukannya membiarkan ia terus berpecah.

There is no place for you ( Saidatul) in PR and it’s better for her to back to UMNO and sink with their racist mentality. This is indeed what the BN claimed that they are going “all out” against Anwar.

Pic source: Star Online

PM gets a feel of rail services in Kuala Lumpur

Meanwhile, our PM took a ride on Lrt and has a taste of public transport on the by-election campaigning week. Please la… he should have taste the real public transport by taking the bus from Putrajaya to KL city center in a rainy day to taste how lousy the real public transport in KL. If he had done this before the fuel hike increase, people might be more convinced. It’s a bit too late.

Since the fuel hike increase, people began to feel the pressure of the rising cost of living. We hope for a better management, a more sympathetic gesture and empathy from the government but we get none. A simple gesture like what the PM has done will sooth the anger and dissatisfaction among the people. At least we will feel that the PM does care for the welfare of the people but i guess, it’s a bit too late for many have lost their faith and hope. We are being push into a corner where we want or willing to give in to Anwar’s promise of reducing the fuel price and in the midst of agony, Anwar showed that he cared for the nation’s suffering. That’s what people perceived. We are struggling hard and we want to change because the government fails to listen to us and kept ignoring our pleas.

As a last resort of desperation, PM announced to cut the fuel price from RM 2.70 to Rm 2.55. Now, what is remarkable is that the PM has been stating on TV that the price will only be reviewed on August 31st and not before the by-elections. Hoho, is our PM indecisive or a man not worth his words? Another inconsistent statement. People are expecting a lower fuel price of a new form government as promised RM 2, does 15 cents in RM 2.70 to RM 2.55 matters anymore in comparing to RM 2?

If BN is doing the right thing and the leaders are humble, admit their mistakes, care for the people’s welfare, i believe not only the people of Permatang Pauh will back BN but the whole nation will back BN. DS Anwar Ibrahim, Lim Kit Siang, Lim Guan Eng, Pak Nik Aziz Nik Mat are humble leaders though they might differ in their ideologies. Yet, they shared a similar charisma of leadership that attracts people to support them. Their humble, just and caring attitude.

For the Permatang Pauh by-election, our former PM Tun Mahathir had sum it all by saying ” I don’t have confidence that BN will win. The matter now is how big or small PKR will win”.

My two cents: Is the unexamined BN still worth voting?

The rapist policeman and slapper doctor - can these professionals be trusted anymore?

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 00:52:00 +0000

When i read the news of a police raped a seventeen years old school girl and a doctor slapped a patient in UMMC, I wondered what happened to the highly regarded professions in our country. It’s pathetic and we can no longer trust the doctors and policeman nowadays. How can we trust these people to ensure our safety and health? Patient go to hospital, end up being slapped and girls go to police station end up being raped. A doctor’s job is to treat patient and not to harm them. A police’s job is to protect the citizen and not to rape the schoolgirls.This particular doctor had violated the medical professional code of conduct and should be suspended. Needless to say, the policeman should be punish heavily for abusing his power and act against the law by raping a schoolgirl.

Doctors should be reminded of their roles to the society. John Carlson, a medical practitioner described the role of a doctor is to increase the health of their patients.

This includes listening to emotional stresses and helping to alleviate them if possible. Society tends to hold physicians in high regard. Because of this, doctors have influence (perhaps unfounded) in many areas. Doctor should be very careful not misuse the trust placed in them. It is important to be humble about being a doctor. Being a doctor does not make a person smarter, wiser, kinder, or in any other way better than others. Unfortunately many people do not realize this. Sometimes patients will forgive a doctor for acting badly simply because they are a doctor. Sometimes doctors become arrogant because people give them so much respect without needing to earn that respect. Doctors are normal people who have extensive training in the diagnosis and treatment of disease, and they usually work very hard with good intentions. I think that most people work very hard with good intentions whether they are a doctor or not. Now I will pick out one attribute that deserves emphasis in physicians. While compassion is a virtue all people should practice, when doctors do not practice compassion, they can become very cruel. I have seen very good doctors, who are also good people, forget to be compassionate with their patients and end up being cruel.

Source via : The Star Online

Raped schoolgirl sues cop, head of station and Govt

Doctor who slapped patient suspended

Is lack of mental strength the only cause of Chong Wei’s lost in the Beijing Olympic?

gen_nmf@hotmail.com (Stephanella) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 01:41:00 +0000

The problem of mentality among the badminton players in Malaysia is nothing new. Its the same old problem that Soon Kit and Kim Hock faced during their Olympic final match… we know the problem but yet until today most players are not aware of the importance of psychology in badminton. Basically, the coaches do not have these knowledge and skills on how to help the players to achieve peak performance and handle pressure. I mean, they should start from young , it’s very hard to change the player’s mentality (pattern of thinking) when they have matured…. especially those who outstanding players. They don’t believe in sport psychology and they thought that it is useless because they can reach a high level without it. Sometimes, the psychology mental trainer might have the knowledge but they fail to relate to the athlete’s experience and empathize their feelings. The player’s personality development is very much influenced by their experiences and sometimes positive and negative rewards can motivate/ demotivate them. Of course, there are other factors in developing a person’s personality but it’s a pity that for some reason, coaches might not care if the player’s attitude and behavior turn good or bad with these experiences. They just want result and have this mentality “sacrifice 10 in order to produce a champion”. The bottomline is… educate the coaches first and teach the players the important of sport psychology in reaching peak performance from a young age.

Mental strength is not the only problem we have. Look at the team spirit of other country and compared it with Malaysia… we are too individualistic. How come? Because the association employed too many “sacrifice 10 in order to produce a champion” coaches that wouldn’t care about the rights of these players to reach their fullest potentials. Look at how the current state of the national team… they don’t even train together. There are ugliness of bribery and corruption as well among the coaches and it is nothing new. Some even involved with the bookies. One would argue that these problems also existed in other countries as well. These arguments is liken the comparison of petrol prices in Malaysia and any other oil producing country. It does not justify any excuses but will blind us from the truth.

Many problems remain unsolved because the players still producing results. So they assumed that there is no problem. The involvement of politician in the association is not good for the sport. If we look at the bigger picture, there are many things (weaknesses) they are trying to cover and they cannot accept criticism. Sounds familiar? Problems cannot solve- leave it or just pretend it is okay. I won’t be surprise if Chong Wei appear together with the politicians in Permatang Pauh for election campaign.

It’s very hard to change unless they come out with a systematic development plan for the future players.