Trust Me, I'm a Flight Attendant

Eating Up a Boeing - Nom Nom Nom

2008-10-13T18:06:00.001-04:00

Time Lapse Of Boeing 720b Demolition - Watch more free videos

Dang! More Bad Behavior at JetBlue

2008-10-03T06:33:00.003-04:00

Good lord, what is happening with the sweetheart of the airline industry? This time two JetBlue pilots were arresed on charges that they beat up a cab driver in FLL.

Here we have William Hart Smith

and Brad Leopard

Let me just say this first: as if pilots aren't cocky enough to begin with. This guy's name is Brad Leopard. With a name like that it's, like, a license to act like a jerk. Or an adult film star.

So these two geniuses went to a strip club in FLL (of course) then decided they wanted some Five Dollar Footlongs (ha!) They hailed a cab to take them to the nearest Subway. When the cabbie asked for $9 they allegedly beat him up.

Beat him up to the tune of a concussion, a broken ankle and bruises to his elbow and knee.

These guys make six figure incomes, and they beat up the poor guy over $9. Allegedly. A witness saw them kicking and punching the cabbie and they were caught on Subway's surveillance video.

Pax Sexually Harrassed on JetBlue Flight

2008-10-03T06:13:00.006-04:00

I realize with the infrequency in which I write I should at least post something substantial. But it's just so easy to rant about celebrities on planes and people behaving badly.

Anyway, this time it's a JetBlue f/a. This guy...

You gotta love myspace when you're looking for details on these people :)

His name is Dayne Arokium and, hallelujah, he isn't employed by B6 anymore. According to wcbstv.com, this bad stewardess scared the crap out of a passenger. When she first boarded he allegedly pinned the woman in her row so no one else could sit next to her. He proceeded to show her nude pictures of himself on his cell phone, groped himself and saying things like, "you know you want me". Gross! Then he even followed her to the lav and was making lewd comments through the door.

Last month he was arrested on charges of "obscene and indecent exposure" and for making a "lewd, obscene and indecent sexual proposal." He admitted to being such a douche, but didn't admit to touching her or himself. What a creep.

Watch a news clip here

Air Traffic Out of Control

2008-09-25T22:06:00.003-04:00

What a cool video!

Watch as daylight passes from east to west. The number of aircraft over Europe is remarkable, but watch what happens as the sun rises over the United States.

Travis Barker, DJ AM - Plane Crash in South Carolina

2008-09-20T14:33:00.002-04:00

Blink 182 drummer and reality show star Travis Barker and former Nicole Richie fiance DJ AM (Adam Goldstein) were in a plane crash today. Their Lear jet was taking off out of Columbia Metropolitan Airport bound for Van Nuys when witnesses saw sparks and smoke. The jet went careening off the end of the runway and burst into flames.

There were six people on board the plane. Travis Barker's assistant was killed as was their security guard. Both pilots were killed. Barker and DJ AM are being treated for burns, they are the only survivors.

DJ AM on left, Travis Barker on right.

Enough with the "They're Making This Thing Smaller, heh, Trying to Save Money" Excuses

2008-09-03T09:07:00.007-04:00

I'd like to clear up a misconception about airplane seats. It is commonly criticized by anyone who has traveled on an airplane that the seats are "getting narrower". Commercial airlines have routinely added and removed rows of seats according to the demand of the marketplace. A few years ago, American Airlines removed several rows of seats to create more leg room for the rest of the seats. They exploited that fact with a massive marketing campaign that seemed to work. Some people still think they're getting more leg room in coach on American. But that was back when people weren't flying as much as they are today and American wanted to fill seats. Once people took to the skies again the missing rows were re-installed (sans mega-marketing hoopla). Last year JetBlue removed some seats so they could cut personnel expenses - the FAA requires one flight attendant per every 50 passengers. Less passengers --> smaller crew --> bigger bottom line.

My point with all this is to show that rows of seats can come and go. But airplanes often stay in service for 30 years or longer. The one thing that can't change is the width of that aircraft.

Take, for example, the Boeing 737. It is the most popular commercial jet in the world. Boeing began manufacturing the 737-200 in 1967. Forty-one years ago, the first passenger 737 sat six seats across, three on either side of the center aisle. Today, all 737 models still sit six across whether it's an old -200 or a brand spanking new -900.

Coach seats on a 737 have always been 17 inches wide.

There are two reasons why people perceive the seats are "getting narrower", and it has nothing to do with airlines trying to squish people in.

First is the armrest. If you're seating in an airplane seat with a low armrest, it is going to rub against your hip/thigh area. If the armrest is higher, it will sit around your waist, which is typically narrower than the hip/thigh landscape.

The other, more likely reason people perceive seats (and lavs) are "getting smaller" is that they're getting bigger. Americans are ginormously fat. Much fatter than we were in 1967 when the first 737 was born. Obviously, if the seat has remained the same for 41 years and it's suddenly feeling more snug than it did when you were 18, it's not the seat's fault.

My point is not to criticize overweight people. I don't care what anyone puts into their mouths (except maybe my husband and baby). Lord knows I'm not as fit as I was ten years ago. I just wish people would stop blaming airlines for their own misdeeds and start taking responsibility for their own actions.

Little Blessings

2008-08-31T18:42:00.002-04:00

Hi friends! I've been rather busy these days. Today was supposed to be my due date but my little baby decided he was going to be born almost three weeks early. He is just adorable and my husband and I are utterly smitten.

Getting anything accomplished seems to be an impossible task. All I seem to do is feed him and feed him and feed him some more. He likes to sleep during the day and stay up all night - which sucks. I'm hoping he'll figure out that being awake during the day is where it's at.

I have no idea what's the scoop in the aviation biz lately, anyone heard any good gossip? Any scoop?

JetBlue, Nickel and Diming, Eco-blather

2008-08-05T13:27:00.003-04:00

I'm sure you've heard by now that JetBlue will be charging for pillows and blankets on flights of a certain duration. No more cheapy, weird janitor blue pillows for free anymore. I was aghast, aghast!, when I heard this news on World News with Charles Gibson last night. I didn't think JetBlue played the Nickel and Diming game. It's a shame that will cost customers $7. Doesn't this seem a little pricey?

What bothers me most isn't that they're charging the ridiculous $7 fee, but they're calling their new pillows and blankets "green" or "eco-friendly" or some crap like that. Does anyone else have green fatigue besides me? None of the stories I've read explain how this is a "green" move except for the fact that JetBlue says it is. It's no more eco-friendly than reusing yesterday's pillows and blankets except you have to pay for them now. Maybe it's "green" because they'll be collecting more cash?

I love this Southwest ad that ran a month or two ago in newspapers:

Let's hope they stay true blue.

Trying to Plurk

2008-08-03T13:47:00.003-04:00

I'm trying to be cool. You know, on the cutting edge of technology and social networking. So I signed up for Plurk because all the bloggers talk about how awesome it is and how much radder than Twitter it is (I've never used Twitter) but I don't really get it. I want to make friends but it's not like you can look up people according to their interests. Heck, when I use the search feature to find people that I know are there I still can't track them down.

So if any of you are on Plurk and you wanna be my friend, here's my link.

Stewardess' Plurk

It's not actually a link to me, but if you sign up under that link we'll automatically be friends. My name is just plain "Stewardess" there.

USA Today Doesn't Like Lap Children

2008-07-31T13:54:00.004-04:00

An article by Bill McGee was published in USA Today yesterday decrying parents who choose to allow their babies to ride on their laps during flights. He criticized two other publications that offered advice to parents traveling with lap children saying it was dangerous and ill advised.

His article is well researched and timely given that most families are cash strapped at the moment. The option of not paying for an extra plane ticket for the baby is enticing to most parents. Not dragging extra pieces of furniture through the airport is encouraging as well.

He quotes recent research by the FAA and NTSB supporting the theory that children on parents' laps on airplanes are safer than children in car seats in cars. After all, in 2004, 43,000 people died in car crashes versus 13 in plane crashes.

On an intellectual level, I have to agree with him. A vehicle traveling at 500 mph five miles up sounds inherently more dangerous than a vehicle traveling 50 mph on solid ground. But when we look at those statistics, we can see otherwise.

The reality of the situation is that people get stupid the moment the step onto the curb outside the ticket counter. We've all seen Airline, the reality show about Southwest Airlines. People get drunk and stupid, they expect that if they throw a tantrum they will get free flights, they just don't bother to take responsibility for unaccompanied minors, and on and on. People traveling with children get especially dumb - they're responsible for little people in addition to getting themselves to their destinations. When they do bring car seats onboard, they don't use them properly. They don't bother to buckle them in and they set them up in a seat that would block their exit should an evacuation be necessary. Then, God forbid we do have a fiery crash, we have three or more dead people who couldn't evacuate instead of one dead child who was tossed about. As flight attendants, we try to make sure every car seat is kosher. But without cooperation from parents, our hands are tied.

Please, don't lecture me on my black heart. It's not my intention to paint a scene of horror. It just seems to me that Mr. McGee is a crabby business flier who doesn't like sitting next to people with lap babies and he's trying to justify his sentiments under the guise of "safety". Having the child in a car seat would make everyone happy - the child, the parents, the flight crew, and the other passengers. But it's just not realistic.

Frontier Jets Grounded?

2008-07-16T15:15:00.003-04:00

My sweetie spent some quality time in PIT this week. He saw three Frontier planes all sealed up with engine covers and parked there. Anyone know the story?

This Just In: Victoria Beckham and Kids in Airplane "Disaster"

2008-07-09T12:40:00.005-04:00

File this one in the "Oh Please!" folder.

According to The Sun, Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham and her kids were "badly shaken when she was caught up in a terrifying runway scare."

Apparently, the plane experienced a bird strike before takeoff at LAX. The bird was sucked into the engine so the pilots slammed on the brakes. Scary!

Rumor has it that Posh, her kids, her assistant and their bodyguard were allowed to stay on the plane until a private escort arrived. The rest of the passengers returned to the terminal.

I hate celebrities. Especially ones that don't really have a career and expect private escorts and VIP treatment. You smell, Victoria Beckham!

Early July Recap Finally Here - Hooray!

2008-07-09T07:22:00.005-04:00

Holy Moly! It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I'm officially on maternity leave now, which is awesome, I've been making money from my writing, which is awesome, and I'm getting over a stomach virus, which is awesome now but was SO not awesome for the past few days. I spent most of last night sweating like a short order cook.

There has been a glut of gossip in the airline world. I don't even know where to begin! Let's start with the good stuff.

Crude Oil
Oil prices flopped yesterday, closing down $5 to $136.04. That's the lowest it's been since June 26. I know, that's not that long ago, but it's something to get excited about, right?

Well, good news never lasts. So on with the doom and gloom.

AirTran Layoffs
AirTran is cutting jobs. They'll be furloughing 180 of their 1,480 pilots and 300 of their 2,000 flight attendants. I hate that. I enjoy flying AirTrain. They're always nice and usually give me a business class seat if not an exit row. My only critique is their regular coach seats are TEENY TINY. How 'bout some seat pitch?

New Yorker Gets Weird on Delta
Some Mr. Entitled Guy threw a temper tantrum when his flight landed in Georgetown, Guyana from New York. The First Class flyer was upset that coach passengers were allowed to deplane first so he did what any person of sound mind would do. He cranked open the emergency exit and slid down the slide. Boy, I wish that slide was disarmed. I'd like to see him jump to his death! Jerk. He was thrown in jail and later bailed out. Delta plans on suing him.

New Yorkers Get Weird on American
After the flight crew showed up an hour late for their flight from MIA to LGA, they were heckled by the oh-so-classy New Yorkers they would be serving. The situation escalated with frustrated passengers hurtling insults at gate agents. Finally the crew had had enough and said "We're not flying in a hostile work environment!" Good for them, I say. They're probably all getting furloughed soon anyway, what do they have to lose? American canceled the flight and put the pax up in a hotel, allegedly with barbed wire around it. Which, from the sounds of it, is exactly the kind of facility these people needed to stay in.

Hillary Sabotages Barack's Plane
Hey, you never know! While Barack Obama's campaign plane was in for maintenance, he used an MD-80 formerly used by Hillary Clinton. Somehow, the emergency exit slide in the tail deployed without anyone noticing. The pilots couldn't acheive any lift so they turned around and prepared for an emergency landing. I'd love to think that Hillary was behind all that. Wouldn't that be cooler than any soap opera storyline?

Anyway, that's the latest recap. I just ate some cereal, we'll see how the rest of the day goes. Peace out, ya'll! And be nice to your flight crews.

Holy Crap! American Cuts 7000 Jobs!!!

2008-07-03T14:21:00.003-04:00

Damn! I heard about the 900 flight attendants that are getting the boot. But, good God, 7000 jobs! That's, like, more than half the population of my hometown. That's four and a half times more than the number of people who died on the Titanic! That's all the undergraduates at Stanford! That's crazy! What the hell is happening here?

It's no wonder I hardly blog anymore. It's just depressing.

Continental Crew Hospitalized Due to Turbulence

2008-07-03T08:30:00.004-04:00

Let this be another lesson - keep your seatbelts fastened during all phases of flight! And never get up when that seat belt sign is turned on. You never know when clear air turbulence will strike. When it does the injuries can be catastrophic.

This happened on Monday. A Continental flight from IAH to FLL. The plane was cruising at 31k over the Gulf of Mexico when it struck turbulence, causing injuries to all three flight attendants onboard. Each one was taken to the hospital when they arrived in FLL. Fortunately, no passengers were hurt.

Always buckle up. Always buckle the kids up. Safety should always come first.

How to Dress Like a Tourist

2008-06-30T10:27:00.002-04:00

So hott!

Plaid shorts.
Hawaiian shirt.
Backpack (2nd runner up to the fanny pack).
The sneakers you mow the lawn in.

Airline Layoffs - More Bad News For Crews

2008-06-26T17:43:00.006-04:00

Gosh, it's no wonder I haven't blogged in 11 days. Let's recap what's going on in the biz...

Illustration courtesy of Will Renfro, www.inkenstein.com

US Airways is cutting 1,700 jobs. They estimate 300 pilots, 400 flight attendants, 800 airport employees and 200 staff and management will be out of work.

Air Canada is cutting 2,000 jobs.

United will furlough 950 pilots starting in September. Without pilots, the trickle-down is sure to follow.

A friend of mine is expecting her pink slip from Delta tomorrow. It's ugly out there.

That makes almost 5,000 lost jobs by the end of 2009. What a bummer.

Post Script
3Aug08
American is furloughing 900 flight attendants.
And my friend did get her pink slip from Delta.
Boo.

No One Ever Sticks Up For the Crew

2008-06-26T17:17:00.005-04:00

I just heard on the news that a mother is making a big stink because she and her 2 year old were kicked off an American Eagle flight.

This drives me absolutely bonkers! The woman, whose child is autistic, was unable to settle her child down and get him buckled into his seat while the plane was taxiing at RDU. She said the flight crew was not very understanding. But apparently she doesn't understand that planes can't take off when people are not in their seats.

I understand how unruly 2 year olds can be. I imagine a 2 year old with autism is quite a handful. And I even understand how the flight attendant could have been unnecessarily stern with the mother. But ever since the FAA flap with Southwest over their "cozy" relationship with inspectors, the FAA has been a bunch of jerks when it comes to interpreting and enforcing their regulations. And their regulations are federal law, we flight attendants aren't just being nags when we have to enforce their laws.

The two news anchors were totally taking the side of the mother and trash talking the flight crew. Which makes it not news but editorial. I suppose that's what I get for watching Fox, but really. Don't call yourself "news" if it's an opinion show.

A spokesperson for American stated that the woman was not helping the situation and she was refusing to stow her bag in the overhead bin. Stowing the bag improperly is also a violation of FAR (Federal Aviation Regulation, aka the law).

Which brings me to another point, when will the FAA start fining the people responsible for all this misbehavior? Fine the passengers who don't comply, don't fine the airlines. I'm so freaking tired of the airlines being punished for the miscreants we have to transport. I'm really, really over it.

Screw a Stew? A Practical Guide for Guys Looking to Score a Flight Attendant

2008-06-15T12:38:00.002-04:00

How Do I Pull An Air Hostess?

Space Shuttle Discovery Lands

2008-06-14T19:50:00.003-04:00

The space shuttle program is a BIG deal here in Florida. Some critics think it's a great waste of time and money but I really dig it. So much valuable and practical stuff is learned by the astronauts and their work, I admire NASA tremendously.

When Discovery launched two weeks ago, all the reporters were talking about was how the crew had to fix a broken toilet on the space station. Of course that's a big deal. I know how inconvenienced we are when a lav goes out on a Boeing, I can't imagine what it's like not having proper plumbing in outer space. When the shuttle landed today, there was not a word about the toilets. For a story the media couldn't seem to get enough of, they sure did drop it like a hot potato.

Does anyone know if the toilets were fixed? I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight unless I find out.

US Airways is Awesome

2008-06-13T20:13:00.004-04:00

I'll never understand why air carriers hang "kick me" signs on their own backsides. Seriously! They're asking to win the unpopularity contest on a daily basis.

US Airways announced they'll now be charging $2 for a can of Coke. And $7 for alcoholic beverages! Skyway robbery!

If I'm gonna pay $7 for a drink on a plane, I want it served up by a sequined Vegas showgirl, no, make that a sequined Vegas drag queen. I want a frozen mango margarita with real fruit in it (served by a real fruit, of course) with that tasty chunky sugar around the rim of the quart sized glass. With a chocolate martini chaser.

My word, just build all the charges in the price of the ticket already. People won't bitch about it so much.

Sorries

2008-06-11T08:31:00.002-04:00

I'm so sorry for not posting! Honest! Between work and paid writing gigs and some health issues I'm way behind in keeping up on my humble little blog.

It's been pretty nasty out there, both in the sky and on the ground. I'm sort of glad to have missed out on all the drama. But I'm working on getting back into the swing of things.

I was up for a $5000 award in a writing competition. My thesis was on "Green Travel" and I think my essay came out pretty good. Sadly, I didn't take home the purse but I was the 3rd runner up out of 1000 entries. I would love to share the link here, but given the unstable nature of the airline biz these days, I don't want to reveal my identity and possibly have my blog held against me in a professional setting. Know what I mean?

So thanks for tuning in. There is more to come, even if it is at a bit of a slower pace than before.

Cheers, all!

The Fraternal Order of Blue Hairs

2008-06-07T21:56:00.002-04:00

Seriously, are the geriatrics really getting down to Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock? I know I haven't written anything in a while, and I hate that I have a gripe in my first post in some days, but GOD! I've lost so much seniority lately that I'm forced to work weekends. And every weekend in every hotel there is a wedding or a conference and they all make a ridiculous amount of noise.

At this hotel, there is a conference for the AARP crowd, I was in a room next to the freaking ballroom and I couldn't sleep. I have to get up at 4am! So i had to go down to the front desk and get a new room. The music from the ballroom is straight up 1989 hip hop and I'm wondering how many of these blue hairs are actually, like, grinding one another to this music. Do they know the running man too? Do they have half-fros under their little fez hats and Hammer pants?

I'm so over this weekend crap. I'm so over hotels. Let me stay home and be a crazy cat lady.

Kids and YouTube - Everyone Wants to Be Famous

2008-06-03T13:12:00.003-04:00

Kids and teens of the 2000's seem obsessed with fame. They all want to be Miley Cyrus or LonelyGirl15 or whomever. Maybe it's because they're the first generation who were told from day one that they're "special just for who they are". Call me old fashioned, but I kind of think success and privilege should be earned. All the time spent chasing fame is little bit scary.

This scary dude took it to a whole new level.

He is the ringleader of the London terrorists who were trying to bring down transatlantic flights with liquid explosives. We have him to thank for having our stuff confiscated at TSA. Thanks so much, dude. You're awesome.

Well, his big defense is that this is a great big misunderstanding. All he wanted was a little face time on YouTube. He wanted to be freaking FAMOUS and now he's fouled up air travel for everyone in the whole world. Again, thanks so much.

I hope he gets his a$$ kicked in prison. Over and over and over again.

How Not to Evacuate a Plane

2008-06-02T13:26:00.003-04:00

When I first saw the footage of the TACA crash in Honduras I was upset. I didn't want to blog about it because I don't really like dwelling on plane crashes. Several days later I'm still bothered by what I saw in the raw footage. I can't find that original footage now but I found this news story with some of it included.

This wreck is a mess. The plane is totaled, there are power lines everywhere, five people died including a pilot. Yet people are taking their sweet time evacuating. No doubt because they decided to take all their luggage with them. Look at them all - one guy is hauling two roller bags as he climbs off the wing.

It troubles me to know that the people who died might have survived if they could have gotten out quicker. But their fellow passengers were so concerned about taking all their crap with them.