Steyn's Cave

Public Speaking and Stage Fright: How i overcame my fears and became a "confident, alpha, important and seductive trance-inducing speaker"!. My journey and how you can perhaps overcome your own fears.

2015-04-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

You may think the words i am describing myself as are too cocky, arrogant or full of myself but that is how i imagine myself when i am out there on the stage or about to go there and i believe that is exactly how i represent myself out there and the reason why everyone always compliments me on how amazing, awesome and great i was after i am done delivering my speech.

There is a back-story to why i have decided to write this post, something happened a day ago and actually last week as well and only now i decided to write this because i realized how much of a big deal public speaking is for some people and it was and is for me and maybe my story could inspire or help someone else who is going through the same trouble.

The Past: My first public speaking experience...oh the horrors

Let me capture your attention by first telling you how terrible i actually was and about my first public speaking i did, Honestly, i don't even want to remember it now because its just one of those experiences of my life that i don't want to repeat ever but telling you about it is the only way you can appreciate the journey i had to go through to be how amazing i am.

It was back in 8th grade, the moment i hit the podium, the realization that the whole school was staring me including my crush and i had their complete attention hit me and it hit me hard. My voice cracked, cracked doesn't actually do it justice, it trembled...oh man it felt terrible. The piece of paper i had started shaking, i couldn't keep it still. I was 15 at the time but the memory is still fresh and it still feels bad. Well you get the idea, it was terrible but that would have been fine.

Of course, there is the bullies...there always are. You have to realize i wasn't your "something wrong with him or different" kind of kid in school, i wasn't fat, had pimples or something weird with my body, i was pretty normal and my shortcomings are the results of very fucked up parenting of both my dad and mom.

So this was their moment to bully me and it was horrible, and ironically my crush is the only person who defended me saying it was great, i knew it wasn't, she knew it wasn't but she stood up for me, Her against the whole class, that is the moment i fell in love with her right there and then. That year was horrible obviously and no i didn't thank my crush or even talk to her, i was too much of a pussy, a wuss back then, i would finish school with a broken heart and just leave with only her memories. Thinking back, i realize she liked me as well if not with the same intensity i did but its too late for a realization.

The present: Meet the "confident, alpha, important and seductive trance-inducing Speaker"

Last week, i was asked to present my assignment in university and i was reluctant or more like afraid. My class has 40+ students including girls and that is a big deal because i have always been in schools with small number of students. I decided to do it anyway because i wanted to be good at public-speaking and there is no other way to overcome our fears than face it head-on.

Its funny how our mind only remembers the intimate details of our failures but not our successes. Its vague and its just last week.

When i went up there on the podium, all i can remember now is i loved it. I loved it because it shows your character and i wanted to show my alpha character to the girls, i was facing them, i had their 100% attention, they were staring at me, i had the whole class's undivided attention and its an intoxicating feeling, whats not there to love ??. There was, an ever so slightly worry of fucking it up which i replaced with "i don't care if i fuck up, i tried my best and that is what that matters and i am going to take this one sentence at a time and see what happens". I relaxed standing behind the podium, took my time to relax, started walking towards the class and started "My topic is...." That was it and off i went. It went so great, my voice was so confident and i simply loved the moment. There was a time when my mind tried to fuck me up thinking "oh man i can't believe i am public speaking" i grew a little self-conscious, just a touch of it and my hands started shaking slightly, at which point i stopped, stood behind the podium to hide my nervousness if it was showing and relaxed, i ignored my mind in fact i grew angry at it and dismissed it. Then started again and it was smooth sailing afterwards.

It was simply awesome, so great in fact that i was the only one who received compliments on how great it was and the praise felt intoxicating, just awesome. Most of all, i was proud of myself and happy because i put myself out there and faced my demons and kicked ass, that is what made me the most happy.

The second public speaking that showed all my awesome qualities

I had to do another presentation yesterday although a little reluctantly (i'll tell why) and telling you about it, i am afraid you will feel i am just being too narcissistic but i don't care. It is my moment. i

The presentation i did yesterday was far better, the best of my life so far. I was even able to do my seductive stance (i'll write about this someday) to "seduce" the girls and just felt very alpha, non-caring and nonchalant . It just felt "magical" like everything was in right place at the right time, i wanted to make the class laugh and when i would look at someone and just smirk they would laugh, it didn't matter who and i could feel the girls salivating for me.

I received the full marks for my presentation (i am the only one so far) and again received compliments for how great it was.

So why was i reluctant ? The lecturer decided we all had to do a presentation and most hadn't prepared it including me so a lot of the guys were kicked out of class (for not doing the presentation, our teacher is anal like that) and when it came my turn, i was too proud to be kicked out the class for a presentation and decided to present whatever was in my mind at the moment...halfway through the presentation when my mind went blank, i asked the teacher if i could prepare it now off the internet and then present to which he agreed and after 15 minutes having half-prepared the presentation with whatever i could find off the internet, i presented again. So it felt even great because i wasn't even prepared and did so great, in fact one of my friend said to me "you did so great without even preparing, i can't imagine how you would have done it if you had prepared".

The future: My goals

Doing this now, i realize i can speak to even far greater crowds. I want to speak to a thousand, nay millions of people, how i have no idea but i am going to add it to my list of Firsts....to speak to a very very large crowd. Oh and i have been thinking about starting some sort of coaching thing, i helped my friends in university who are so terrible, in fact one of the guy in my class was so terrible his voice cracked and he reminded me of the old me LOL. If you are interested in my help, feel free to hit me up, i will be more than glad to lend a hand.

What i did to be this good and overcome my limitations and fears ?

The first thing that pops into my mind as i am writing this is the quote from the movie "Fight Club".

Self-improvement is masturbation

I love the movie but if you take the above quote as masturbation being a destructive habit (and so is self-improvement) then you are wrong. But on the other hand, if you believe masturbation is a good thing then the quote makes sense. And i think masturbation is neither good nor a bad thing, it needs to be done sometimes but a habit of it is not a good thing, i don't really care honestly. So i changed myself through masturb...err i mean self-improvement. I love the movie but if their intention was to ridicule self-improvement then they are wrong.

I am just going to compile a list of things that helped me tremendously and i believe can help anyone who may be going through the fear of public speaking.

All the public speaking and stage fright advice you find on the internet except this one of course is BULLSHIT. Its written just for the sake of writing by big companies to grab visitors, thats all.

VERY VERY IMPORTANT Get this mindset hardwired into you. I am going to give it my best shot, it doesn't matter if i fail or succeed, i am going to try and reward myself for trying. And yes, do reward yourself for it in whatever way you like it, just do something, anything that you enjoy even if it is a guilty pleasure!. Masturbation, eating ice cream, watching TV, sex, whatever your pleasure producing thing is, your goal is to release dopamine and pleasure producing hormones but only when you TRY and give it your best.

Visualization: Its huge but if you are going to do it, you have to do it right. Our minds are so hardwired into visualizing and thinking failures that visualizing and really feeling a successful scenario in your mind is hard. What i do is i imagine a ridiculous but can be true somewhere in universe scenario. I imagine going up to stage, speaking and all the girls go we love you and fuck us right here or they undress and the whole thing turning sexual. It works, it instills a not caring attitude in your head, and you don't really know, it could come true. After all, visualization is just your mind imagination and not the reality, if you are using it to picture negative outcome or plain boring positive ones, why not visualize something awesome that could also be true. Note that, even if you decide not to use visualization, your mind is doing it anyway and most likely in a negative way (if it was positive, you would be an awesome public speaker now and won't be reading this) so why not put it to good use.

Your mind is a fucking asshole and deserve to die If it was possible without you dying. I am telling you i am being deadly serious when i say this. Our mind fucks us up!. Our failures are the results of our mind fucking us up. Don't get me wrong though, it is an amazing machine, words can't even express how impressive it is but it generates far too many negative outcomes in an untrained person or maybe in an unsuccessful person, i wouldn't know because i can't see what the mind of a jock or a jerk or ladies man produces, my mind produces negativity, it thinks and imagines negative scenarios and i had and have to tame it to produce only positive outcomes. How do you make the negative thinking stop ? There are a lot of ways i believe, Anthony Robbins suggests reframing into a positive thinking, i haven't read his book but so many people testify its a great read and will change your life. What i do and i learned it from someone else that i can't remember the name of anymore, i have an elastic band stripped to my hand. Yes an elastic band and its there all the time!. Whenever i think of a negative thought or imagine myself failing, i get mad at my mind and pull the elastic band and bam. It fucking hurts and let me tell you it also fucking works. My thought process changes instantly. Its not pleasure as some twisted mind may think, its training. I believe our mind is like a dog, you punish it for bad behavior and reward it for good ones. This is me training my mind and it is working.

Learn to not care about the outcome Easier said than done right ?. But you can train yourself to not care. Go out there and do something you are afraid of, when you fail still reward yourself for trying. Don't be angry at yourself or be pissed, you are only human and you had a difficult childhood. Whatever your reasoning is, whatever bad things you went through to have resulted in your shortcomings now, just accept it and forgive yourself. If your mind tries to fuck you up and makes you feel bad, discipline it. You tried and that is the only thing that MATTERS.

That is all, it is going to be a constant battle and it isn't going to be easy. I do feel a little hesitation when going to the stage but i tell myself i love this and i don't care and i do love it. Now here are some tips when you go up there and you need a little help.

Relax. Go behind the podium, open your notes, lecture, speech, whatever, make it seem like you are reading it etc. and use this time to relax. Don't worry about taking your time, just relax. Take a minute or five minutes, you are the most important person and you can take all the time in the world, they should fucking wait for you to relax and speak.
Never use a piece of paper to read your speech from, if you are going to do it, put it on the podium and read from there. The reason being even if you are not that nervous, it will appear your hands are shaking because it takes just a little bit of shaky hands to make the paper appear really fucking shaking. When you realize this, you are going to grow more nervous and shake even more and the cycle continues.
Take mini-breaks to relax yourself, don't fucking apologize for doing it. Go behind the podium and just relax. Again, its your lecture, presentation whatever, you can take breaks when and how much longer you want them.
Do not look at the crowd or someone specifically in there especially in the very beginning...it messes some people up. The way i do it is i look at the wall or the very back of the room and it appears i am looking at everyone but i am not. I actually look at the guys and the girls now, in fact i try to seduce the girls using my seductive stance lol but i feel comfortable now. I haven't tried this personally but its an advice a friend gave me and i believe it works.
Feel okay to be slow in your movements and speaking, this is important. The reason so many people fuck up and even i did in past is trying to go through things too fast and not giving yourself a chance to breathe. Just do it like what you are doing is important and there is a reasoning behind it even if its just standing there to relax. If you have a white board or something else to write on, start writing points from your lecture at your own pace and use that time to relax.
When you are starting off, whatever time you can get to relax is very important. I know i am over-emphasizing this but really, its all about being relaxed. If you aren't relaxed and it feels weird to you (it shouldn't) to take the time to relax, use some excuse to take a minute from the lecturer or teacher or whoever and use that time to relax. I don't recommend admitting you are nervous and need a minute to relax excuse from the teacher, you will grow even more self-conscious. Instead, just be smart, drop your pen, marker or whatever to get some time.

That is all i can think of but really, the only thing that has helped me is getting out of my mind and ignoring, not listening to it or replacing my thoughts with positive ones. If we didn't have a mind i believe we all would be very same on the level of confidence but i guess that is what makes us so different and add variety to us.

Oh i just watched a movie last night and i love this quote

Fear will cause you to hesitate and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true

So true. What i would like to add it is, the more you hesitate the more your mind has a chance to fuck you up. Alright that is the end of this post, its a bit long but there is a lot of golden advice in it that has worked wonders for me and i hope it does for you too.

See you in next post and do tell me about your own fears and how you overcame them. I would love to hear about em

-Steyny

My Firsts List An Update and Some more FIRSTS

2014-05-28T13:34:00.002-07:00

Old readers of this blog may remember i made a post years back, almost 4 years ago to be precise about making a list of firsts that i like to call My Firsts inspired by the movie Mini's Firsts. Give that post a read to know what i am talking about and then come back here.

Awesome thing i do right ?....Yep!. Unfortunately in all these 4 years i wish i could say i have done a lot of firsts but that hasn't been the case at least when it comes to positive ones. Which is why i am writing this post as a reminder to update my firsts and make some new ones to achieve.

To start off, there are some i actually did that have been really awesome.

Became a Pothead for the First Time: So smoking cigarette for the first time was not that much fun actually and i didn't get the high that i was hoping i would get...hey what did i know back then i was just a teenager who thought people smoke because they get some sort of high so it was somewhat disappointing. Smoking a Mary-Jane for the first time, however, was total awesomeness!. At that moment, i truly felt my raw power to do anything i didn't care or give a fuck what people thought and hilarity did ensue as i was with my friend walking on a street when we got high. What an amazing night that was.

I don't know why but i have never felt that high i got from the first time smoking and i am not really a pothead. It took months after that that i finally smoked it again and it was awesome alright but not like it was the first time. I guess how you are feeling before the high matters a lot in how you feel during and after the high.

Snorting Cocaine for First Time: You must think i am going to fill this post up about the first time i did all the different drugs by now hahaaaa...i am just kidding. Never did cocaine and never will. Errr..maybe i will, for some reason i don't get addicted to drugs. I thought i will to marijuana but nope. I do love it as its just awesome but i go on months at a time or even a year between smoking so maybe crack will be the same. Crack cocaine is the king of drugs as they say so eh, its worth a try.

Wow this is actually sad, i can't remember any other worth while First that i did in all the 4 years ?. That fucking sucks, Ever since writing that post, my life has taken a turn for the worst but i didn't think it would be that bad. Which is why i am going to make some new firsts and work hard to achieve some of them, also i am just going to copy some of the old ones from my old firsts because they will be fucking awesome to achieve...

2010's Firsts:

Getting slapped by a girl after i tell her to stick her tongue out and then kissing it!. Awesomeness.
Skydiving or Bungee jumping or any of adrenaline rushing activity of similar intensity
Anal Sex <-Select the text if you want to read but i warn you, some of you may not be quite fond of it and may be disgusted!. Its in guys genes and every guy dreams of it so don't just blame me, i want to do it after taking all necessary steps.
Dating my first fatty, just for the fun of it.

My New Firsts To Achieve (2014s):

Get my first car. Seriously, just any car. Yeah i know, don't remind me alright...i still go to places either hitching a ride from friends or via public transportation. The latter does have the benefit of meeting some hotties but i am in my 20s now and NEED A CARRRR BADLY.Even this will do.. Actually nvm, this one looks hella scary like from a horror movie but get the point.

Meet a celebrity. I did had a chance to work as web-designer for a local celebrity's company that he wanted to make but my God, he was a cheap-ass and to think i liked his music. His payment terms were just ridiculous and it never got through more than telephone talks (yep). I would actually like to meet Liam Neeson or David Duchovny from Californication TV show if anyone watches that but any will do really.
Get featured in a newspaper, media, TV or movies. I had my name in a newspaper once after i won a programming competition but no photos and i wasn't first. It would be really awesome to get my name and my photo in a magazine or article or any of the media.
Get in a threesome. Nuff said ;)

Thats about it i guess. I hope i can add some more to my list of firsts but seeing as it is summer here and i don't want to get fried by going out in the sun, there is not a lot of social things i can do. Which is why i have been just doing nerdy thing lately like playing the new game that has come out Watch Dogs and just wasting my time and goofing around in the game with this awesome watch dogs trainer it is kind of funny to kill other players and not dying.

So, what are your Firsts ? Which ones you have accomplished and which you would like to achieve.

-Steyny

Prime example of racism...students gets suspended for her yearbook quote

2014-05-24T06:42:00.003-07:00

A news caught my attention the other day about a student getting suspended because of what she wrote in her yearbook quote. It read

When the going gets tough just remember to Barium, Carbon, Potassium, Thorium, Astatine, Arsenic, Sulfur, Uranium, Phosphorus.

If you substitute the chemical elements name with their symbols, it actually means

When the going gets tough just remember to [Ba][C][K] [Th][At] [As][S] [U][P].

I am going to admit its not too classy but i give her points for her creativity. The reason she wrote that was she was a toddler when Juvenile's song "Back That Azz Up" spent a summer dominating the Billboard

Hot Rap Singles chart and capsizing a lexicon. "You have to go back and start all over."

Unfortunately for her, the school administration didn't find that funny at all and suspended her. This is a pretty dumb reason for suspending her and i am going to go as far as to say if it was some white-trash kid, they would have found this very funny. Its yearbook quote and people have written all kinds of crazy stupid things without getting noticed but not her. Jeez, it saddens me how much crappy America is becoming especially the school system.

Here is the news source, decide for yourself if banning her was fair or not.

http://news.msn.com/offbeat/the-chemistry-joke-that-got-a-student-suspended-1

-Steyny

I have a stalker

2014-05-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

Back when i was a kid....err more like a horny teenager i thought it would be cool to have a stalker. I was a very shy and social inept kid and teenager in my school years and so to have a stalker meant someone actually liked me enough to stalk my shy-self which seemed nice back then...more like awesome as i imagine that old self. However, was i wrong oh boy

I wish this post was about how to deal with stalkers but i have failed miserably at that so its going to be completely different than what i usually post. I am actually pretty reluctant to write this post because it involves her and oh God do i hate her so much...i have this post in draft for days now and only publishing now to let people know this can happen to anyone.

Without going into much details, this whole thing started pretty innocent, i was not dating her and that is the only way things get complicated for me hehe but this wasn't that. We started as friends and she actually was a pretty good friend.

I never thought of her as someone i could date because A. I don't find her attractive and B. she knew me before i became socially cool. I don't like my old shy self and i consider those years of my life wasted because i am actually a good-looking guy and thinking back at those times girls always showed interest in me but i was too shy to even talk back when talked to, let alone flirt. Some of those girls were actually pretty cool and i can see myself spending my entire life with one of them that i had a crush on but despite her talking to me and showing signs she liked me too, i never had the balls to talk. God, those were terrible times but i digress.

So fast forward to last year she somehow has developed feelings for me. I didn't see that one coming honestly. So i let her know the whole shabang and that was the end of that, at least for a few days. But it actually gets worse and she would bring her feelings up every fucking time. It got actually pretty annoying and this happened over the course of months that i finally told her to get the fuck off and stop seeing me. I did honestly feel bad but that feeling would soon disappear. As i was just welcomed into the world of online stalking...

I told you she knew me for years and so she naturally had my Facebook and any social network i was part of, my emails and most importantly my work website that i work on and visit several hours of the day. You can guess what comes next, right ?.

The worst part of it is she lives in a different place now so i actually have to spend my money to meet her and fucking kill her because she has literally fucked my brains out (not the good kind)....i am not kidding. The first thing she did was stalk my facebook, send me messages which was actually pretty easy to deal with as facebook is awesome when it comes to this. Then it moved to emails and that was tolerable, i ended up blocking all her emails but she would always make new ones to bypass my block list and it got so worse that i had to make a rule to send all emails from unknown senders into junk email.

She is a fucking psycho but thats like the definition of every stalker. Now she has found the best way to annoy the fuck out of me, my website. So she registers a new id and send me these lengthy PMs. I have literally banned like 20 accounts by now, imagine the torture of opening up your website to see a new PM rushing in to see if a client has some issue or something similar of the sort only to find these PMs from her. Imagine this happening for months, get my annoyance ?. I ended up banning the whole country because of her but that is not good for business so i had to unban after a while.

The only thing left to do is photoshopping her naked photos and putting them up on my website(its actually pretty popular) with all her info for the country she lives in but i just can't get myself to do this because that is actually pretty bad and i can't, she knows this and so the cycle continues.

I am pretty clueless as to what the fuck do i do about this, ever seen the stalkers in movies ? She is the same but not even an iota of hot like that. Actually if she was hot like that, i would still not because at this point she fucking disgusts me. I think she will actually forget about me if she was to date someone but she is a fucking loser and its like she thinks i am the only one guy she can score (because of my past) but i have moved up in the world and its about time she should too.

Anybody got any ideas or advice for me ? Someone who might have been in the same situation. Or anybody wanting to date her, please send me a message.

Where have i disappeared or what am i doing ?

2014-05-01T00:15:00.002-07:00

I would be lying if i said i was doing something cool with my life right now, well cool in the sense of social life. Unfortunately, apart from some experimentation i did for my last post on cheating like a pro i have not gotten my member wet for a while now and there is a solid reason for that.

Remember when i said in my first post ever that i am a nerd cum chick magneta, well the nerdy part of me has taken over my soul and made it dark. I am playing Mad Max (a computer game), it has just been released and damn is it amazing!.

Like everything else in my life, i cheat to win and games are no exception. I cheat to finish a game or if i am playing online to sometime gain advantage over other players or be the first because that is just me. I like to be the first whether its in real life or virtual, you can't beat the feeling of being the first in the list of players after a match is finished or that sweet killstreak. There is a reason i am making this post and that is to give my thanks to the makers of this particular trainer i am using, the great thing about it is it works online and you can be totally invincible or kill players. Here is the link - Gamergate i just shared my secret with you guys.

So until my addiction with this game is over, i can't post the second part of my smart cheating guide. I could write the second part based on my experience but i want to experiment a few things first before i release the final part.

Well see you in the next post whenever that may come. I will suggest checking out that link i mentioned in my post because they deserve it!.

-Steyny

Lindsay Lohan Lists The 36 Celebrity Men She has fucked including....Justin Timberlake

2014-03-12T21:51:00.001-07:00

Looks like she desperately needed some publicity and what better way to do that than sharing her list of men that have been her past lovers and naming and shaming some of the most A-list celebs in the bizz now.

We didn't exactly have her pegged as The Virgin Mary obviously but DAMMNNNNNNN!!!. Who knew the cute Mean Girls movie star Cady Heron aka Lindsay Lohan would be such a .....i was gonna say 'amazing lover', get your mind out of the gutter. So she sent a shock wave through Hollywood on Wednesday as list of all her celebrity lovers was leaked, reportedly penned by her. And it is AMAZING.

The list, which has...wait for it....36 famous celebs names on it, ranging from Justin Timberlake to Heath Ledger (R.I.P) to Collin Ferell (seriously ?!?) to Evan Peters?? the fuck i am out of here....

I do have to post the list damn it, so needless to say she is an expert on celebrities junk and if you are worried do you have the junk of a celeb, call 1-800-DicksyLohen

She wrote the list while on a night out for fresh love with her friends last year and now InTouch Magazine has got its hands on the precious document, and apparently a LOT of people are running scared because the rumor is no protection was used.

Lindsay Lohan's sex list is pretty epic.

I am sorry, can't continue anymore. Lindsay is spoiled for me and needless to say i wouldn't dating her even if she begs for it. Watch The Canyons if you guys want to see some of her boobies.

The below is shamelessly copied and pasted, go read that while i go check with my doctor, feeling itchy in my groin for some reason.

While the majority of the names on the list are muzzed for legal reasons, there are a good few A-list names that are clearly visible.

And while THEY might be feeling a *little* awkward right now, we're literally amazed that LiLo managed to bag herself such a roll call of hotties.

Basically reading like any girls list of dream men, it includes Zac Efron, Colin Farrell, Max George, James Franco and Adam Levine.

A source, who clearly managed to nab the sex list, told the mag that Lindsay and her friends were laughing about her exploits during a drinking session.

Justin Timberlake when asked, cried and said he didn't know he was sharing the same space with Collin Ferell

They said: "They were giggling and talking s**t about people in the industry.

"It was her personal conquest list and she was on her period. She was trying to impress her friends with the list and then tossed it aside."

While LiLo's staying pretty tight-lipped about the revelation, she has been pretty vocal about her brand new docu-drama that's just kicked off.

She tweeted on Tuesday: "east coast, one hour to go. watch with me xo #LindsayOnOWN."

Wouldn't miss it for the world, Lindsay.

K i am back, the doc said he's been feeling itchy himself and its just lice. Apparently we both got it from sitting on the same couch, though i can't comprehend how do lice go through tight pants and jock underwear. No point in arguing with doc though as he knows best.

Harlem Shake Funny Dance Trend

2013-02-10T18:37:00.004-08:00

I am sure all of you have watched a video of this funny dance now, its like a trend on the internet these days and everyone's doing it. I wish i could do a Harlem Shake Steyny Style but none of my team members are under the same roof since we work online and my girlfriends aren't very keen on being videotaped (WHAT??!!) yeah thats my reaction too. So we will have to be content with others doing it and i have taken the liberty to choose some of the best harlem shakes on the internet.

If you have no freakin idea what i am talking about, take a look at this picture

Yeah a bunch of people in masks and unmasked act keep acting crazy the whole length of the song and somehow it is pretty normal. Blame baauer the singer of the song whose song popularized this.

Here is my list of some of the best harlem shakes i found on the internet.

I WARN YOU THOUGH: Its fucking addicting and you might find yourself acting like a maniac for hours hehee

Harlem Shake Funny Dance

Hulk Hogan Sex tape with Heather Clem

2012-10-16T13:30:00.005-07:00

I feel like i got off a roller coaster - were the words coming out of the Hulkamaniac when he finished up his 5 minutes sex session with his best friends ex-wife Heather Clem. Funny metaphor but there was nothing roller coaster ride like in his sex tape with Heather Clem. It was actually pretty disappointing.

I mean i assume all of us expect Hulk hogan to fuck like a pornstar right ?.

To be honest, its really late and i can't think of some funny jokes to make at Hulk's expense so lets just watch the sex tape already, shall we ?.

I am not sure how long the video on this site will stay as Hulk has become mad at the leakage of the video and sueing the site but fear not, the video is like everywhere hehee..

Have fun :)

FML Post

2011-12-23T07:23:00.000-08:00

I fuckin hate myself. At least i have gym to take my anger out but i am so pissed off from myself. FML

I need to work on my goals and act a fucking adult. ARGHHHHHHHH

Pitbull erection for Jennifer Lopez....

2011-11-23T09:57:00.000-08:00

Seems to the hot news lately.Pitbull having an erection for jennifer lopez. I'll let you decide after seeing this photos.

Seems pretty real, however pitbull wears sports cups so you never know it might be that. But really, what do you expect ?. Jennifer Lopez is hot and when she bends like that, any straight man should get massive boner, if not, they might need erectile dysfunction medicines. At least he didn't let it affect him and his voice is still the same whilst singing the song.

You know, this might be asked from pitbull or jennifer lopez, J LO especially cause she would definitely have felt that and can better tell if it was a sports cup or .......

I still like Pitbull and he pulled a public boner in front of crowd of thousands/millions watching on TV, thats ballsy enough for me. And i like ballsy, show em what you got the caveman style!. Telling everyone straight, this my lady and i can't wait to get in that sweet ass.

....that kind of makes me jealous :(...

Check the full song out...

Pitbull Rain Over Me Erection Live Jennifer Lopez Papi American Music Awards AMA 2011

This is crazy or what are you people looking for here ?

2011-11-13T04:08:00.000-08:00

I have been noticing a lot of traffic for this blog and while its pretty pleasing to see so many people coming here and reading what i write...i wonder how come this blog is doing way better than my site lol. Long-time readers of the blog would know i own and run a game hacking/ game trainers site called "dEViATED Game Trainers" and i put more effort advertising-wise and time-wise there than this blog, still its not doing much.

Well, what the hell, i don't mind. It would be really nice though if you people drop some comments as well instead of being anonymous visitors. That should motivate me to write more.

No images for this post as i am very low on time, currently working on a Elder Scrolls 5 Skyrim trainer and L.A Noire and Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 trainer for dEViATED (pheww!!) but i'd drop by some youtube videos that are my favorites and anyone that i shared with have laughed their asses off.

Show me your genitalia women!. A song for the chicks, you should watch it to know what we guys really want from you.

OGFurious's Rebecca Black - Friday Analysis.

Everybody has done their own parody of Rebecca black's friday song but OGFurious is just fucking hilarious, nobody can beat him. Its not a parody or a mock, he actually analyzes the song word by word and tells us what rebecca really wants to say with her song.

I am a fan of that guy and he's a chick pickup artist just like me....we're the good guys ^_^.

On a sidenote, i think i maybe getting back my social life since my university starts in a few and i won't have much time for training games anymore.

Besides, the day i did my first approach ever of a girl is coming quick and i hope to do another approach on the same day or at least somewhere near that. Wish me some guts hehe since the approach anxiety is skyhigh this time. Any girls, please drop a love comment and it sure is to reduce my anxiety, you know you want to because you love me right ? xD

NO PS this time :(

PS: Actually there is a PS. I just noticed 2 spam comments were caught, what the obama balls?!! I don't think you'll earn a single visitor off this blog since the visitor count is like loww...really low!.

Got my first Paycheck! SWEET

2011-10-08T04:34:00.000-07:00

The whole time i have been out of blogging, i was working on a lot of things, nothing dating related and interesting as far as the adventurous and funny stuff i try to do to make my life and this blog more interesting. I am not ashamed to say the only dating related thing i have done for the past year is just talking online through MSN/Emails with like 2/3 girls because i have been really busy, not my absolute best and also cause girls need time and are crazy for emotional drama, none of which i could afford.

And something really really awesome has happened. I earned my first pay check and have the money in my hands right now. And i have to tell you, it feels really really amazing, its like feeling being a man. Losing your virginity is something but when you can proudly say i can support myself, that is way better. Although it is just $110 but what is impressive is it is through my Entrepreneurship and not working for someone. That is how i want to spend my life, being independent and my own man whenever i want to work or not, that is my choice to make, not an assholish boss!. Collectively, i have probably earned like $400+ still being a student. The passion this man right now has is untouchable fellas!.

It is not like i haven't earned anything before, my first real payment i received for a work i did was when i was 20 but it was online, this is the first time i can physically touch the currency bills. This adds to my list of Firsts , the list i made impressed from the sexy Nikki Reed's movie and i have been slowly adding awesome things to it.

In other news, a girl has been stalking me to death, the only reason i talk to her is probably because i have known her for ages and i know exactly what is her problem. I try to help her as much as i can but she has the art of twisting words which makes her a "bitch" really. All the girls i have been with are awesome, sexy and more sexy with their normal emotional drama you expect from a girl. But this one is crazy and i guess she makes my list of firsts for i am bearing the drama for so long, funnily enough there is no reason for her drama than her imaginary friends giving her crazy thoughts about the real people. Having imaginary friends when you're 2 is fine but when you discover your first boner, your imaginary friends should find their own imaginary friends. I am probably going to make a change of address, nicknames and be more anonymous.

You'd think being a guy, i have it easy or i like being stalked but let me tell you, it is just as annoying as a girl being stalked, even more because i am not worried about make-up or my body image or if my ass looks fat or my left boob is bigger than right but i have to deal with real issues.

That is it for now, i'll try to get back to the dating game but with so much going on, it seems impossible. I have been really passionate about my life goals and working each day now to achieve them. One of them includes flying over to the United States Of Great America or Britain since i live the life of those cultures already and then travel the cool countries of the world. I am too shallow a person to even bother to look the 3rd world countries on the map, but honestly who will be interested in corrupt government, ugly and deadly diseases and more stalker girls even though they maybe sexy but there's only so much an awesome guy can handle.

PS: Did anyone watch the Miss Universe 2011 ? My friend told me about it and i have to tell you, i was like what the fuck was that ?. I thought it was a competition for the most sexy and a full package of a girl getting the crown of glory, the crown that tells the world that this is the girl whole world is crazy about and will give their life just to see a look of starry eyes in her for him, the girl that'll make lesbians proud for being lesbians but the current Miss Universe, mind you Universe! is more like Miss No-one wants to Bang and why don't you cook me the sand-witch already instead of being ugly all the time. Sorry but uglies really have no feelings.

I actually feel she got the award because she could speak some Portuguese and the contest was held in Brazil. They should have crowned Miss Brazil then , my turtle can speak Portuguese and Zambola but he doesn't get to be crowned the sexy turtle even though he may have MORE turtle girls stalking him, more sexiness points than Miss-Good-For-Kitchen will ever have even if she plastic surgery the fuck out of her face, boobs and sticks a plastic fake ass, ugly stays ugly. Don't believe me ? my turtle...

Look at that sexy tail and 3 legs!, Pure pawnge, you make me soo proud!.

Now this is Miss Sexy Angola!

I R SEZYY!! CLICK FOR FULL SCREEN SEZZYY

If that makes me shallow, then my DICK is the epitome of NOT SHALLOW i don't need to tell you why, he likes to live in ugly, dark, greasy places just like Miss SEZZY is above!.

Reason number 2 i think she got the universe award is for political correctness and judges trying to be NOT racist. But this is the height of racism, just calling blacks a nigger doesn't a racist make but the opposite of that and stripping white sexy girls of their rightful award, just for making the black president and your ugly black wife -who you cheat on with white goats - a racist make too!.

Oops...My white goat is offended too, actually Miss Angola would make a better Miss Sexy Goat than my white goat. No offense whitie

This is also another example of the bullshit that is feminism. And if they wanted to choose a black girl, there are way more sexy black girls that at least more than only Angola seezy people would agree on.

You can bet your white ass if there was a Mr.Sexy Planet award, Barracks Obama would win it by miles, not because he is black but because he has the ridiculously long dick that makes mule proud. Okay that makes no sense but i digress.

That is all i have to say, i think Miss Smelly Pantz made some sort of contract with big TV and anti-depressants shizzler companies to help crown her seezy ass since the broken TVs and suicidal white goats purchasing anti-depressants and "make-black-seezy-goat" creams would make these companies pay big to crown her the seezy title. The world is full of conspiracy peeps.....i just shat my pantz!

PS2: These are the personal opinions of my turtle, i don't claim any responsibility for broken seezy hearts and black sheeps riots for them not being crowned instead, but really no-one except them is to blame for they let their own kind compete for the title. Unlike human world, turtles have freedom of speech and don't have to be called racists for openly praising white goats and criticizing black seezy sheep...woops i mean Leila Lopes.

Perfect GiRLFRiEND - I wish my girlfriend was like this

2011-05-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

Is there such thing as a “Perfect Girlfriend” probably not but there are 10 traits we would love to see our women come equipped with. The chances of your girl to be 10 of 10 is pretty much a fantasy but I assume there are 1 or 2 out there amongst the 4 billion women roaming planet Earth.

1. Loves Sports

Even if she is one of those awful girls who act like a super fan as soon as a team gets good. I will take that in order to be able to talk sports and go to games with her, there’s nothing more guys love than sports and babes.

2. Has A Pretty Face

Yes a pretty face, not a club girl face with caked on make up and duck lips, that kind of face crashes and burns after 25 years old. Pretty faces last forever.

3. Has An Awesome Body

We don’t need you to have a 6 pack and 1% body fat, but as long as you are fit and care somewhat about your bod we are happy.

4. Loves To Cook

Even if the only thing she can cook is grilled cheeses that’s cool. Men love grilled cheeses so we would be happy with a fresh grilled chee every night, as long as you cook them naked from time to time as well.

5. Loves Video Games

Video games rule, sorry women but we are going to play them until we are 90 arguing with 8 year old nerds and calling them newbs. So if you can get a girl that will play an xbox game online with you from time to time you know you got a keeper.

6. Loves To Drink

We don’t want a Frank the Tank type drinker, but we want a girl who is excited to go out on the weekends and get a little typsy with us. A girl who thinks she is too mature to go out and get drunk with her boyfriend and friends is just plain lame.

7. Loves To Party

This goes hand and hand with drinking but more so towards just wanting to go out and have fun. Go to concerts, trips, whatever is fun and let’s us party through out the night with our chick.

8. Loves To Share

This is pretty much just a one in a million fantasy that every man has, yea it probably won’t happen but it would be cool if you bring home a girl for some triple play action.

9. Respects Time Out With Guy Friends

Sometimes girls just don’t understand why we want to go out with the guys. It is nothing against the girl, guys just need to be able to have a night every now and then to talk like animals, drink like wolves, and make fun of eachother, that’s what we do.

10. Loves Me For Me

I’m no Fabio, I pretty much look like the guy above. Guys aren’t the most pleasant thing to look at, so women don’t try to change your man, he is what he is. Changing him to fit your perfect vision is only going to last for a short while until it blows up in your face.

BONUS: Write notes likes this to us every now and then

It is like i am having a period or something......and i am a GUY!!!....This is NOT normal

2011-01-16T01:29:00.000-08:00

No offense to the ladies of course. I couldn't find another analogy so this has to do, sorry if it seems out of place, the feelings i have been going through lately, seem equivalent to feelings that girls experience during that time of month, well just the sadness, depression and mood swings, of course i am not leaking anything. Before i proceed any further, let me say what i am going to write next is pretty embarrassing to admit for me cause its very girly and i feel my manhood violated writing this which is why i may delete it later.

So in my previous entry i mentioned quitting my own team, well the recent update is that i took over it again and my best bud left instead, breaking all forms of contact and just being a bitch towards me. Its over between us, which is what is saddening me at the moment.

I mean GOD DAMN IT, we were friends for a DECADE and not just friends, best fucking buds, we laughed at same jokes, we would share the stories of how we met a girl at some location or how to approach certain girl that i/him is interested in, how i witnessed a 59 year old hooker's spicy argument with her customer, or that he knows his classmate girl's underwear pattern (it was full of hearts).....and so many other millions things...

So it fuckin hurts man, and even though i am a guy, its RIGHT to feel sad for breaking up with a best bud right ?. I don't know how long my sadness will continue, for the record i have NOT cried, what the fuck why would you even think like that, i am NOT a girl. Just being depressed as a guy is fine though and im depressed because my bud ended our friendship.

I just watched a video i made for him ages back and it reminded me of him and i am feeling sad now. And i feel pissed as well, so i do things to piss him off, but then i feel sad and the cycle continues, which is why i said i feel like a girl. All my life, i associated these sort of cycle of emotions (rightfully) with girls, they be crazy...and i know how to make them act sane but i can't control myself even though i know how.

I know i am going to repeat over the same thing again and again which is honestly what the above paragraphs are, "i feel sad" x 100 times, but I AM FEELING SAD, so i don't care what this post may look like ultimately.

I miss you bitch, if you're reading this, then here you got a confession from me.

END OF THIS GIRLY POST.

/me MANS UP

I am out and ~~promise~~ will try to NOT post such emotional posts anymore!. BUT i am going through tough times now so.............i am SADDDDDDDDDD

PS: If you find any mistakes or generally find this post weird, its cause i didn't even decide to look back and edit it 10000 times like i usually do with my every post. I just burst my emotions and yeah thats how i do it, scolding myself and then be sad and then scolding andn ddsahdjsdkajdsldsdhdjlsdasdsad

PS2: My next entry is going to be "Girls have it easy..." i feel like advertising!

PS3: If you want to make me feel better, you can do so by commenting, visiting my site, or if your a girl, just msn stalking me, no dates i am a mess now!.

PS4: yes i will continue making a lot of PSsssss

PS5: OMG check this out, Dakota Fanning Period BLOOD! The post finally ends on something interesting for ya!!

I am half-curious what is that ?? and if its just a publicity-stunt ?

well she grabbed my attention so w00tt

PS45443: I am still SADDD :(

Never do business with your best friend!....or any friend at all

2011-01-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

NEVER do business with your friends or someone close to you

Because you will regret it and things will get worse and all you will have to deal with is a broken friendship and lots of disappointment. I guess i should have listened to this, my favorite actor in a movie said so even lol. Ah well, i am an ass for thinking otherwise, all i have left now is a blog entry.

It all started out few years back, you all know i am a coder and reverse engineer, so i started out a team and my this friend -- lets just call him Kem -- joined in with me. I said cool because he is my best friend and what can be better than having a best friend join in. It can only mean good things.....only if i knew.

Fast forward years later to now or the past few months, the team that i started has grown up and its doing amazing. It is among the top groups and competing with other groups in the business. Let me draw a graph to show you where it stands in comparison to other groups in business.

contrary to what many think, no blood was used to draw

the red color in the above sketch

So as obvious from the above helpful sketch, the team was in position to gain nation-wide fame and i could be sitting next to an old fart giving interview on CNN/BBC about how it all started. But what happened instead was, i started to realize, i don't have power over my own fucking team for fuck's sake!. Let me elaborate.

I wanted to put advertisements on the site because it makes it look professional and i needed some revenue to help raise my kids, buy gifts for my girlfriend -- nope, nothing like what hillary duff got but close, and start a cookie factory because i love cookies!. But nay, Kem thinks its a bad idea and in a fight discloses the content of his mind. Before i go ahead, let me just say, this was our 2nd fight in the whole decade!.

So in the fight, besides bashing my idea of ads, he goes on and criticize or rather bash my decision of kicking a member out because i thought he was an asshole from hell and deserved to stay there. Guys, a fight with strangers is cool but with best friend of a decade is not, it hurts and it sucks. So suffice to say, we got cool again but it was no fun like the old times. I still couldn't do what i wanted(ads) so what do i do ?.

I leave my own team, i don't know if you can call it stupid or what, leaving my own team but i thought this is the best decision for the team. Because i am an ass like that and i care about a stupid team and the people who joined me. And because if i kick my best friend and then do whatever i want with the team, that would end my friendship with him. So after 4 years of giving all my time and efforts to a team and bringing it to a point where its ready to bring fruition and rain revenue and money, i have to leave it to salvage a friendship because friendship is more important to me than my team. It sucks, a lot, to be honest!, i fucking feel sad and bad about leaving it but i had to, it was inevitable. Either of us had to, so i volunteered. Call me stupid, i won't mind.

Lets me head back and analyze how things could have been different. I start my own team, i give my friend position as a member instead of partner, things continue, today i could do whatever i want with it without any harm to the friendship. I think this article i just read, best explains it. Its a genius. Never mix social norms with market norms or you'll be blogging like me now instead of being on an awesome TV show.

Let me end this post on a positive note though, by giving you information about the team i founded and some of the stuff i did for it. To start off, the team name was (i am referring to it as "was" even though it exists because its not my team anymore) dEViATED - Clicky to go there. What its about is, it is a hacking team that hacks or trains games and build programs called Trainers. Basically making the game do whatever the team or the game-hacker wants it to do and the programs are programmed with such options. E.g a trainer with infinite health will give you infinite health in the game. Most of the times, these trainers comes with cool animations the team call demos/intros and sometimes their own mini-game environment (actually i am the revolutionizer and the first guy to do it ). So its a mini culture kind of thing with their own terms and rules. It requires skills but once you get in and get the hang of it, its pretty cool and not to mention, business worthy.

Let me show some of my work i did. This is probably going to be my only entry about such nerdy stuff because i suppose its boring for most of you unless you are into games and such things or a teenager. So here comes my awesome creation and proof that i can code and program.

^To a naked human eye the above program appears simple but

you'd need a microscope to realize the delicacy and lines of code

required to code such a program!

And, my another and last program screenshot you will ever see, where i bring my awesomeness as usual. Seeing these program would make you realize i am a closet-nerd-cum-social-extrovert who loves to party when its the time and invent crazy software just like a mad scientist!.

Who would have ever guessed those clouds in the picture above would

have been the reason the whole England, Germany and New York is buried
under snow!. Who would have ? They look so innocent yet they aren't!

So lets me repeat the number 1 rule of business and recall what my fav actor said in my favorite movie so i'd never do such mistake again...

Never do business with your friends!

What if the friend is a female ? What then ?. I have no idea, i guess its okay then ? Maria what do you think, i think my next business partner is going to be Maria because this rule doesn't apply when the partner is female....right ?

Right ?

PS: You could control Mario and let him run till he tired and jumps out of the screen to scream STOP!. If anyone is interested, i could provide the executables. But maybe i would not because...because i don't know. Stop asking so many questions.

2 thousand and eleven or 2011....Yes the year you will get dumped...!

2011-01-01T15:54:00.003-08:00

Okay, so apparently everyone and their mother has been blogging about the new year and merrymaking and wishing happy joy for the coming year. Its cool alright, but come on, didn't we do it the year that passed ?, it gets boring and lets be honest how many times the resolutions we make actually make it to reality.

I hate being boring and being consistent and predictive, it is for this reason, this post isn't your usual happy new year post, okay it is but it is a lot more than that. In that, i'll give you the rundown of what i did on the night everyone was waiting anxiously for the 0 to turn to 1 (how nerdy!) and what happened to me the whole year, because OMG it was some awesome shit and i bet my year has been a lot interesting than most of you...

To start, I received comments from a girl that said (her words exactly!)

You are narcissistic to the point that if you could, you would turn yourself into a girl and marry yourself!...

You mean a Hermaphrodite ? I am not too sure i'd want to become that but yes, i'd definitely marry myself because i honestly don't mind alone time and love hanging out with myself and am happy as a cow (or is it happy as donkey or a duck ? ) Still, i let girls enjoy my awesome company, because i am ironically also self-less like that and not selfish at all!. In fact i am so self-less, on any given night or day, i am surrounded by them and i let them have a piece of me, i lost 15 pounds already!. Blog entry coming soon about that.

^That comment was received just hours ago so that makes my first compliment received for the year 2011!.

Continuing on, I made my first new year resolution about doing Firsts!. I got my first blog follower, greets to that awesome lady for being my first follower!. I completed that resolution i made within hours of making it. That just adds awesome points.

I got myself involved in my first car accident in 2010 and of course i survived although i lost 584 brain cells. Yes i know that much because i have 1000 cells total and if i had lost anything more than that, i would have been blogging.....wait i am blogging....shit lets not make it anymore confusing. The accident wasn't pleasant, not at a all and a pretty bad experience so thats a little sad moment there :(.

I made a friend in the most weird of ways, by trying to be awkward around a complete stranger (just for fun), turns out the more i tried to be awkward the more we started to get along well. Now he is my new friend and loves my taste in women (seriously, i have no idea if i should be happy about it).

I won a programming contest and hit on a programmer girl in the event. She was total cutie but unfortunately no phone exchanges as it was a programming contest and we had a bitchy organizer there who didn't look pleased with our little small talk. I guess that makes my list of Firsts as well. A programmer girl i First hit on. Oh she made some sort of facial recognition program so that was totally cool!. Yes, i'd be in touch with her once i get a chance to go there again.

So this past year, i approached a girl that i think was my first 10, i almost got my ass busted....because of a girl, i got my ass kicked by a girl's boyfriend, i ran like a crazy after a girl who was an athlete, i saved two damsels in distress...wait that was 2 years back, i hit on hot Nurses (wtf you ask ?), i got surrounded by a group of 5 girls all wanting a piece of me, i smoked cigs, i didn't do cocaine - never will, i took a ride in a Mercedes-Benz!, i posted on other blogs, i got in a fight with a commentator on another blog, i started my own blog then i ate, i slept, i farted and blogged about it .....

So you see i did a lot of things this year because people do a lot of things and i am people...right ?. I plan to do a lot of things next year, one of which includes coming out of this screen and

punching you in the face

because i love you!. Did you know turtles can fart ?

So Happy New Year everyone, i hope in this new year, each one of you get single so i can date as many of your exes as i can, because...well i don't know why i would want to date your ex. You see i don't know about a lot of things so

Happy New Year bitches! :-D

PS: How was your year ?

PS2: The title is completely random so don't worry, i am NOT predicting anything, although it may be true!

My Firsts - Things i'll never forget for the rest of my life!

2010-12-29T13:15:00.000-08:00

So i just watched this movie "Mini's Firsts" i wouldn't recommend it because its not really awesomeness but rather okay. However, if you are Nikki Reed fan, you must watch this, she looks hot, total bombshell in this movie, you just can't miss it out. I also, just realized she is almost the same age as me, having born in the same year i am which is pretty cool, which makes this post even more special.

So as i was saying, this movie may not be that good but the idea was awesomeness!. Basically in the movie, Mini(Nikki) has this list of things she has done for the first time in her life and calls them "Firsts". She continuously expands the list by doing new kind of adventurous and daring things for the first time, such as becoming an escort and other crazy things. Way to enjoy life!.

So being a fan of Nikki, and in dedication to this movie, i am compiling my own list of Firsts and making a resolution to expand this list with most daring, bizarre and generally awesome things. Actually, i just made my first resolution, my First New Year Resolution!, as strange as that may sound, i never made any new year resolution because well i knew i wouldn't make them happen but my first resolution, its going to happen. So my list...

Steyny's Firsts

First Approach: I approached a perfect hottie back in Nov 09, a certified 10 and apart from a little sweating and running away after striking a conversation, i did good. That makes me awesome from billion losers who still can't approach the girl they eye for their whole life, have her photos walled next to the toilet seat and creeping her out by drolling and eyeing her like i do a pizza that i am just about to eat or from guys that do approach but with most creepiest openers. She liked me and she probably would've been my first girlfriend if i hadn't had a nervous breakdown.

First Girlfriend: Okay i have to admit, not trophy worthy this First, but if i had known i'd start a list of Firsts, she wouldn't have been my girlfriend, not my First at least. Not much to say here, she was young and cool but not cool enough to deserve a first sadly.

First Time Smoking: I remember, when i had my first cigarette, i said "WHAT ? is this why people smoke, this is bullshit and they said smoking is addicting". I felt nothing so i smoked another, nothing, and another till i blew the whole pack and it was then that i started to get my first high. That was awesomeness!. It didn't last long though, barely just for an hour because i went to sleep!. That was it actually, i never got high again no matter how much packs i blew and i realized cigarettes don't addict me or get me high, then i started crack cocaine and stuff like that. No, Of course i am kidding about crack, No matter how enticing that offer is and no matter how much my friends try to convince me, drugs won't make my Firsts. I quit smoking with rather ease, i got good genes, so it didn't addict me. So all girls who want to date me and are disgusted with cigs, don't worry that is history. I haven't smoked for almost a year now!. Although i'd start again if theres a hottie that does it, just to company her...really.

The list is pretty long but thats all that i could think of right now and interesting of em. Now, here's a list of Firsts i would like to make...

Getting slapped by a girl after i tell her to stick her tongue out and then kissing it!. Awesomeness.
Skydiving or Bungee jumping or any of adrenaline rushing activity of similar intensity
Anal Sex <-Select the text if you want to read but i warn you, some of you may not be quite fond of it and may be disgusted!. Its in guys genes and every guy dreams of it so don't just blame me, i want to do it after taking all necessary steps.
Dating my first fatty, just for the fun of it.

This idea of First is awesome for the fact it inspires to start living the life in a more fun way and making the most of it, after all we get it only once, and it especially would motivate some of the timid ones to be adventurous. Not to mention the nostalgic aspect that comes with it when you make historically awesome Firsts.

So what are your Firsts ?...

PS: This movie makes my favorite of all time even though i don't think high of it and Nikki Reed gets my love for starring in it and damn shes so hot!

PS2: I would work to make her my first celebrity bang!. Wish me luck for it are a tough task.

PS3: Yes i am alive, sorry for the long break and not blogging. Had a lot of stuff happening lately so couldn't get the time.

Being alone...how do you pass your time ?

2010-12-01T16:45:00.000-08:00

So how do you pass your time when you're alone ?. The best way obviously (or for me) is to go out, call friends and chill or hang out with my girlfriend and do stupid things or meet new people (especially girls) or anything that involves socializing or just going out. BUT what if you're sick and forced to sit or lay on bed all day ? and your friends are out enjoying at a pub and your girlfriend is crying for you along with her friends at another pub so they can't come.

Well then you have to do one of these things.

Get a few movies of different genres and watch them one by one. The genres should include

Horror/Supernatural thrillers and Zombie movies: Such as Zombieland , Resident Evil: Afterlife , Nightmare on Elm Street , Devil , Afterlife.
Romantic/Comedy movies: To ease the tension, such as Forgetting Sarah Marshall , Get Him to the Greek , The 40-Year-Old Virgin , He's Just Not That into You (chick-flick so uhmm...).
Others: Bitch Slap , Fast & Furious series! , The Social Network , Hardwired , xXx (No, not what you think, its a movie of Vin Diesel) , Taken.

and watch them alternating between each genre so you don't get bored. That should be enough to pass enough time to get recovered.

Or if NOT, then this will do. Grab your favorite music and start reading blogs and browsing forums. For me it has to be anything by Lady Gaga , Linkin Park or rock music.

Blogs can be pretty interesting, i'd recommend those of my followers ;) and dating blogs, they're fun. Tucker Max is another fun place. Stay away from moma blogs which most of the internet is filled with unless you want to have kids and want to parent, they definitely aren't for you. These blogs will seriously make you sick of the idea of having a blog (with the exception of few ofcourse!).....i warned you!.

You can also do the NERDy fun things and code a sick program and be a billionaire like Mark Zuckerberg by coding such cool thing as Facebook but i doubt that, you probably lack the IQ to do that (no offense) so i wouldn't recommend it.

Or if you don't have the luxury of a computer or a laptop! then grab hold of your cellphone or PDA and start doing the above things, movies, music or playing games. This is why you should keep fun stuff on your PDA all times for emergency cases. You can also take revenge on your friends for not coming and bombard their phones with messages, calling them. Or you can take naked pictures of yourself and facebook them to gain international fame (doesn't work if your a guy), of course i wouldn't recommend this!. Another fun thing is prank calls, they're pretty FUN!.

OR lets suppose, you don't have a cellphone or any kind of mobile device either (oh boy!) then well i am kinda out of options, give me a few mins.

Okay back, you can then do the following and its the best thing. If you are religious then nothing beats the calmness and peaceful feelings you get by praying, it is actually a better option than all of the above and it has the added benefit of speeding up your healing process. I'd recommend it even if you have the above options available, nothing beats it!.

You can also do what fatties love to do, EAT!. Yes you fat bustard, you hear me right, eat like there's no day tommorow, it only helps with speeding up healing process as your body needs extra calories and nutrients to fight off germs and repair. Warning: Stay away from fatty foods, that doesn't help!.

This is also actually a good time to get a pen and paper and write what you want to do with your life, write resolutions and commitments to change your lifestyle to a better one.

So its actually not that hard to pass time when you are alone with just you, after all the best person in the world is our own self of course and a little alone time is not bad.

This entry is brought to you thanks to my disease that leaves me alone in room and not able to go out and i wondered how best could i pass my time with lack of all things social and i came with the above ideas. If you have other ideas, share please, i would love to listen!.

PS: Some other not so recommended things that you can do: Smoke cigarettes, hookah or drugs, kill cockroaches and bugs, play with bugs, walked naked in the house, call a stripper , make a video-tape and ~~suicide~~.

PS2: ^I am kidding of course

The Girl who...well i am sure was an athletic runner!

2010-11-07T07:12:00.000-08:00

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear. -Mark Twain

So how do you be courageous and beat the fear of approach ? by approaching and approaching in the most goofyish way. This little story of mine goes back to the time when i was just starting out on the journey of being fearless, extremely confident and approaching strangers without pouring down sea of sweat and nervousness.

I was with my friend getting back to our villa(dorm) and i was mocking him how he has got so many guy friends but very few females, he must be gay. He said its different with girls, you can strike up a conversation with any guy and be friends in 5 mins but with girls, its a different story. So not true, its just your fear of rejection/approach....i told him, girls are way more receptive, i can strike up a convo with any girl you see on the street here. So this got us to betting if i approach a girl right then, he would owe me a pack of cigarettes of X brand(that brand was my fav when i used to smoke, if anybody want to know its name, shoot me a comment). Whats more enticing than a pack full of smoke ? Seriously... there's just no alternative so i agreed, lets do this shit.

Just as we agreed on the bet, i saw a (let me remember, checking files in my memory....k found) hot brunette with a body i imagine my girls to have, not too skinny(or anorexic), not too chubby, just the perfect balance and the white milky skin, ehmm perfect!. But hold on a sec....is she running ? almost running...she was walking but at a really fast pace and i mean like at REALLY fast pace.... check the map out

As we were turning towards st(reet).2, she was at the intersection and then at blink of eye, way far ahead than intersection. Damn, she had the fastest walking speed i've ever seen a girl have. So i decide on approaching her, my buddy as obvious thinks its a bad idea, i also think its a bad idea in my mind at least but still, the offer of pack of cigarettes and that milky white skin is too enticing to pass.

So i run, YES i run after her but shes way too fast, shes not even running, just walking wtf. Imagine that, i am running after her in the middle of street full of people staring at me, it definitely made me look like a stalker or something, only if i had a knife in hand, that would've made things a lot more interesting. I could hear my buddy laugh, at my inability to catch her despite running and probably at how funny the situation was....it wasn't for me, don't laugh you bustard. As i finally get near her, i shout

Me: "hey listen..."

she turns her head and looks at me....i am out of breath by now (sidenote: smoking really kills lungs cells and makes the stamina non-existent, i used to bodybuild but it can't help when you chain-smoke and run 1km after a girl)... She looks at me with those curious eyes, damn she had beautiful eyes with stars in it...

So i tell her: lets sex sweetie, she gets to the job immediately and we start loving eachother in the middle of street with 500 people and a dog watching us rip eachother clothes and.......the rest is history

Only if it was that easy in real life. I catch my breath quickly and tell her

Me: "hey you walk too fast...." (this was my opener ughh..)
Her: laughs...
Me: "i was just wondering where is X place"..i ask for directions (i didn't really needed to know but it works as icebreaker)

.... meanwhile my friend just behind my back is whispering into me ears she's not really receptive and just rushing things...she hears this because well he was NOT really whispering...as the situation kinda gets creepy cause she hears what my bud 'whispered' into my ear...i speak....

Me: "this is not true what my friend says right ?" (i actually ask her that hahaa...lame)
Her: "nope" .. and then goes on explaining the directions (hahaa)

at this point, i could feel from her eyes she is assuring me that she is receptive and really wants to talk, i can't explain it really, it was body language or more precisely eye language...she wanted me to invest and talk more....but my friend is again whispering....it annoys me so i think of ejecting before shit hits the fan again...

Me: "alright thanks....you walk really fast though"
Her: laughs again and turns her head and resume her lightening speed.
Me: "oh and my friend is gay"....i shout at her back
She hears it and put her hands up giving a thumbs up hahaa.

Then i start kicking and punching my friend for being an asshole and get my pack of cigarettes at the next shop...i win!. I lose the girl though, she was really cool and had a sense of humor and a milky white skin...i love girls like that. And especially when you ask her stupid questions like that (are you receptive ?) and she still be cool about it, then im all hers.

I went on and approached some hot nurses later on, i may blog about it later but this approach was special. It completely crushed my fear because i was acting goofy (running like an ass in a street, asking her stupid questions). My friend still didn't change his mind and had fear of approaching, i am now sure he is gay.

PS: I figure the reason why she was running. 2 mins from where i approacher her, there is a medical complex, she entered there. I felt kind of bad then, maybe someone close to her was ill cause she was in serious rush. I made her day though...

The Perfect Way To Accept Marriage Proposal

2010-11-02T22:03:00.000-07:00

Girls, What do you do when your boyfriend proposes you with an expensive engagement ring ?. No idea ? Worry not, Hillary Duff has the answer and shows exactly what you need to do. Here's what

When your NHL boyfriend Mike Comrie pops the question and gives you a 1 million dollar ring

You Cry...

You drink some alcohol while being all emo..

You immediately go out and text a picture of the ring to your friends to rub it in...

and then you suck a dick and you suck a dick fast and give your boyfriend the blowjob of his lifetime

Take notes ladies!. This is how it's done, this is how you accept the proposal, nobody could've done it better than Hillary Duff. What better way to start your relationship than pleasing your man and giving him a Million Dollar BlowJob!

Man...i am starting to love Hillary Duff, there's no question whether she gave anal the wedding night. Perfect, just the perfect way to please your fiancée!.

Sex: An amazing exercise....!

2010-11-01T20:26:00.001-07:00

Its old news but for those who still don't know, Sex is an amazing exercise you can use to lose weight while having a good burst of adrenaline and fun. Don't believe me ?...check this article by Fitness Magazine.

So this is another reason why fat people are fat, they don't get sex as much as they should or NOT at all, who shags fat people anyway ?.

So next time, you plan to goto gym, head back and do the "shag-workout", its more fun and productive*. The good thing is you don't need any machines to do it except another person also interested in weight-loss so you can do it at home, at office, at library, university classroom(recommended) or anywhere you wish..!.

*Beating off doesn't count

PS: All fat people discard this advice and head to your nearest gym please. This isn't for you and fat people shagging fat people is gross plus you may not be able to afford the broken beds and furniture that comes as a byproduct of this exercise. That said, happy shagging.....:)

Me, A Jerk and Two Damsel in Distress

2010-10-31T19:33:00.000-07:00

This actually happened quite long ago, at least 2 years ago to be precise but i am posting it since its one of many odd things that have happened to me and i was quite young then, took me by complete surprise and now that i think of could have resulted in serious consequences if it hadn't happened like it did. So let me start....

It happened around the time when winter was just about to start and so the night would start pretty early and get completely dark at around 7 PM. I used to live in dorm and was getting back from work in bus. In the bus, just in front of where i was seated, there were two women and a guy on their left. This figure would clarify their positions

_ Guy_ _Women _
_ _ _ _ _ _ Me _ _
- represents seats.

I had a pretty weird and odd feeling about the whole situation and the women like something was wrong, you know the kind of odd feeling you get about someone ?. I couldn't point my fingers at it but there definitely was something about them. They were dressed pretty exotic and in their 30s, good-looking, i thought Cougars ? but immediately dismissed my thought as people aren't usually what they look. The guy was pretty good-looking, but acted like a total creep. Long gelled hairs and ugly trousers and t-shirt, he badly needed some fashion advice. But the thing most wrong with him was he was staring at the women like a total creep and his intentions weren't good. The whole situation looked pretty grim.

But i thought about minding my own business. It was night and pretty late around 9 PM, completely dark, cold and quite on the road. And where i lived, it was pretty common robbers and generally low-life's set up traps like this, get you in a quite, dark place and then rob your underwears....of course along with whatever your wearing on top. In fact a lot of gangs were working on this and the ladies worked as bait to lure the poor victims. So yeah, despite my monumental figure, i thought being safe is the wise choice.

So i got-off the bus at my stop and started walking towards where my dorm was. The dorm was at 10 mins walk from bus-stop so i took my cellphone and started to switch and listen to some music. As i am doing this, i hear noise of two women talking behind my back. I look back and see those two women i saw in bus walking behind me. The creep was following them too. This is going to be a long-ass and interesting night....i thought to myself.

I am walking and analyzing the situation, the ladies were walking just behind me, really close to me. I could hear what they're talking...the prettier of the two was saying...

What a creep...Is he thinking of scoring with us ?, Doesn't he have young ladies to stalk...I am his moma's age for Heavens sake!

That actually made me laugh...but yes Ma'am, he's a CREEP. So by this point i start to size up the creep...he was actually quite tall than he appeared to be in bus by about 5/6 inches...i didn't needed a scale to figure he was taller than me too....by about 4/5 inches. He was pretty thin though. A tall, thin, long haired creep!. Yes, i was thinking about doing a heroic act but then i did a reality check....it doesn't matter if you bodybuild or have six-packs, height is a definite advantage and he had it!. While i am thinking all of this, the ladies are discussing and suddenly the prettiest of the two comes up to me and asks or rather begs me to act like i am with them and save them from the creep. She said it while giving a really cute puppy dog pout ...and an almost heart-melting look on her face.

BUT i said are you F-word crazy ?...look at the height of that creep...im off. And i started running...i don't know what happened afterwards but i did hear noises...

No i am just kidding, and the situation certainly wasn't funny. I agreed and stopped. The guy stopped too. I stood there while holding strong eye contact with him for a few secs then he turn around and started walking towards a street. I stood there until he disappeared and went back to the ladies. But they weren't satisfied...he is going to chase us again. Okies i said, let me walk with you to your home. Let me draw a map of the area

The creep went to St(reet).1 and i along with ladies to St.2. However, the ladies still weren't satisfied, standing in front of their home, they said the creep is still following them and would note their home address.

I was genuinely pissed off at that point, Seriously ladies i have come so long with you, busted that jerk, piggybacked you to your home and still you're worried that jerk is following you, come on i bet he has a life and must have something better to do than following cougars with whom he doesn't seem to have any chance at all!.

But i had agreed to help and so couldn't leave them until they're fully satisfied. So i went back towards where the alley was and lo and behold! the creep was standing there with back to the wall listening to his iPod!. Are you kidding me ?.This guy deserved to hold the CREEPiest guy of the Planet award.

I run up to him and tell him to fuck-off, why the fuck is he still there ?. He replies with "things aren't what they seem and that those ladies are not "okay", i shouldn't be with them". Wow i shouldn't be with them so he can stalk them ?. I tell him to fuck-off and leave. Tension in the air...i stare at that creep and after a while he starts walking towards a car, sits in it and disappears. Guess he must have called his friends to bring the car cause he did get here in the bus with me or maybe he lived there ?. I've no idea.

I get back to the ladies, talk a bit. They tell me this guy had been following them from the mall and got on the bus with them. I assure them everything's fine now and that they should probably report to police if they ever see him again. They thank me and invite me inside. I excuse myself. But they're seriously insisting on coming inside and i mean seriously!. The pretty lady hold my arms, making it her mission to touch me with her body and insists.

Not good and too fishy...i thought. Okay she's hot and really really soft but why is she insisting so much then i remember what the creep said "these ladies aren't okay"....so i decide i have to run now!. Besides i overheard them talking about their daughter in the bus. So i guessed they must be married. No, i don't want to put myself in this mess, for all i know her spouse could be a protective drunk sob and steal my awesome cellphone and shirt (<3) so DESPITE the warm invitation and her soft embrace, i excuse myself, tell them i am late and run towards my dorm. She tells me to be in touch with that heart-melting face again.....yes i will my lady i will be in 'touch'

Back at dorm, I tell this to my friends and they advise i should've gone inside! but it all felt weird and suspicious....while in front of their home, i saw a guy or rather a man on the balcony staring at us and then disappear inside as i saw him. I thought why didn't he come and help.

The next morning, while walking past that street, i decide to take a peek and go towards her home. And notice a huge PadLock on the front door!. Yes they had left. A week later, i saw a new family move in there.

I don't know the exact answer to why they did that because i never saw them again. But thinking about it, it comes down to two cases....either my bad feelings about them in the bus were correct and it was some kind of trap to lure me and steal my underwears OR the poor ladies left the place because of that creep, after all i can't be with them all the time and the creep probably had figured their address.

I'd go with the latter and prove myself as the Saviour...no way a girl who gives the cutest puppy dog looks could do or think of doing anything so bad....but my friend tells me never trust hot women...he's just jealous obviously.

That touch she gave me still feels so warm.....

A bitter truth...

2010-10-24T16:51:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't say we guys really think like that lol, that'd be crazy but to be honest, its kind of disgusting when you see your girlfriend just come out and have her hands and body still wet, its certainly not arousing. And i am talking from personal experience hehe, so girls, please don't hate us if we come up with some excuses to want to have a little space at that moment, its just nature.

We really secretly want to believe girls are purest form of nature like pearls or crystals ^_^.

Welcome to my CAVE

2010-10-21T18:18:00.000-07:00

Hi there, welcome to my cave. Don't worry, my cave is all lighted and warm, unlike the ones you see in movies. Let me start off by introducing myself and my little katie

I am Steyn with a capital S and friends call me Steyny. I am a student of Nerds(computers) Sciences and my passion in computers is to program a virtual girl that would cook and do laundry for me without asking anything in return. Hehe not really, Fun stuff about me

I absolutely love photography and taking pictures of interesting things, making videos.
I am very artsy and can draw a stick figure of anybody in less than 5 mins.
I love being social and spending most of my time outdoors, i would proudly say i am attention-whore cause i just love being centre of attention and i always get the attention i want.
My female friend once called me a player but i disagree, i just love girls with makeup!. Which is why i run away the next morning when it wears off hahaa.

I refuse to take shit from anyone and got the muscles to back it up, im very athletic and love sleeping in Gym. I love to travel and speak 4 languages, 5 if cats talk is considered a language. Oh did i introduce Katie, i have a cute little cat which loves to Meow and jump. She loves girls just like me and i think she's a lesbian.

Ok, enough about me. What you can expect from this blog is generally fun and interesting stuff and sometimes just bullshit, i want to share my adventures in dating life and things i find fun in life, music, movies, nerd science and lots of other stuff.

So sit tight in my cave, have a cup of coffee or beer or alcohol if you like and let me turn on the TV to see my life there.

Steyny out.