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		<title>True Happiness</title>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 02 Mar 2013 22:29:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stopstressingnow.com/?p=6134</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2013/03/true-happiness/">True Happiness</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>Finding true happiness and developing a deeper understanding of the workings of the human mind is not a new topic, nor is it solely an American pursuit. From the beginning of time, exploration of the core virtues that exist within humans has been the focus of study. From Confucius to Aristotle, from Aquinas to Bhagavad-Gita, there is startling similarity among the great philosophers about the six core virtues:

 Wisdom, Courage, Love, Justice,

Compassion, and Spirituality.

 These virtues, or core strengths, provide the foundation upon which true happiness can be built.</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2013/03/true-happiness/">True Happiness</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/happy.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-6142" title="happy - StopStressingNow.Com" src="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/happy-300x175.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="175" /></a></p>
<p><strong>T</strong><strong>rue Happiness</strong></p>
<p>The Declaration of Independence in the United States starts with a recognition that all people have an unalienable right to &#8220;Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.&#8221; While life and liberty are fairly straightforward concepts, the pursuit of and the attainment of happiness is not often as easy to measure, achieve, or guarantee. Attaining true happiness requires a deeper understanding of yourself and how you relate to the world. It requires you to be able to embrace who you are. Most people are preoccupied with happiness, but not necessarily in a healthy way. In fact, many people become trapped in a mindset that if they just buy one more thing or just make a few more dollars, THEN they&#8217;ll be happy&#8230;but true happiness only comes when you start becoming happy with who you are and with what your life is about now, taking the time to simply be without worrying about what is coming next or how much it might cost.</p>
<p><strong>Co</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>e</strong><strong> </strong><strong>V</strong><strong>irtues</strong></p>
<p>Finding true happiness and developing a deeper understanding of the workings of the human mind is not a new topic, nor is it solely an American pursuit. From the beginning of time, exploration of the core virtues that exist within humans has been the focus of study. From Confucius to Aristotle, from Aquinas to Bhagavad-Gita, there is startling similarity among the great philosophers about the six core virtues:</p>
<p>Wisdom, Courage, Love, Justice,</p>
<p>Compassion, and Spirituality.</p>
<p>These virtues, or core strengths, provide the foundation upon which true happiness can be built.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><a href="http://www.behappyforlife.com/" target="_blank"><strong>Visit: BeHappyForLife.com</strong></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>In the 21st Century, the pursuit of happiness has continued to be explored, and our understanding of happiness has been given new life through the efforts of the science of Positive Psychology. Some of the best known psychologists in world, who are really just building upon the ancient philosophers&#8217; six core strengths, developed 24 character strengths that each person has within them. What is crucial for achieving true happiness, then, becomes the ability to understand which of the 24 character strengths are your true core strengths. The most wonderful thing about the approach of positive psychology is that rather than focus on deficiencies and problems, or spending time trying to correct perceived flaws within yourself, you focus on recognizing, developing, and using your true core inner strengths in order to achieve real lasting happiness.</p>
<p><strong>“Positive Psychology points the way toward a secular approach to noble purpose and transcendent meaning— and, even more astonishingl</strong><strong>y</strong><strong>, toward a God who is not supernatural.”</strong></p>
<p><strong>~ Martin Seligman</strong></p>
<p><strong>What</strong><strong> </strong><strong>A</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>e My Own Co</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>e St</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>engths</strong></p>
<p>The more you learn to rely on and develop your innermost core strengths, the happier you will be in your life. Your sense of well-being measurably increases when you stop focusing on the negative and begin focusing on the positive. Life should not be about looking in the mirror and seeing what&#8217;s <strong>w</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>ong</strong><strong> </strong>but about seeing the best of ourselves with each day. We forget to take time to see the good in ourselves. We hardly ever allow ourselves the pleasure of enjoying even the tiniest of daily successes in our lives. <strong>Success and perfection a</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>e not </strong><strong>r</strong><strong>elated</strong>; success comes from knowing yourself well enough to understand your strengths and leverage them to achieve your goals in life.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>T</strong><strong>ake</strong><strong> </strong><strong>a</strong><strong> </strong><strong>moment</strong><strong> </strong><strong>right</strong><strong> </strong><strong>now</strong><strong> </strong><strong>to</strong><strong> </strong><strong>write</strong><strong> </strong><strong>down</strong><strong> </strong><strong>your</strong><strong> </strong><strong>top</strong><strong> </strong><strong>5</strong><strong> </strong><strong>co</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>e</strong><strong> </strong><strong>st</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>engths.   </strong></p>
<p><strong>Really</strong><strong> </strong><strong>dig</strong><strong> </strong><strong>deep</strong><strong> </strong><strong>and think about what st</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>engths you have that make you uniquely you.</strong></p>
<p><strong>What Exactly Is</strong><strong> </strong><strong>The Good Life?</strong></p>
<p>There is a huge difference between living a &#8220;pleasant&#8221; life and living the good life. To achieve true and authentic, lasting happiness, you need to recognize and develop your signature strengths on a daily basis. Once you have identified exactly what they are, then you can begin to put them into daily practice in your life. You’ll never change anything unless you are first aware of exactly what changes need to be made. It’s just that simple. In my own personal life, I discovered (the hard way) that when I was able to find ways to use my own personal inner core signature strengths in ways that benefited and brought service to others and those around me, I found that achieving the level of true inner lasting happiness quite easy, which would have been otherwise completely unattainable.</p>
<p><strong>Listen</strong><strong> </strong><strong>T</strong><strong>o</strong><strong> </strong><strong>Y</strong><strong>our</strong><strong> </strong><strong>Soul, It</strong><strong>’</strong><strong>s Calling Out</strong><strong> </strong><strong>T</strong><strong>o</strong><strong> </strong><strong>Y</strong><strong>ou</strong></p>
<p>When a convergence can occur between your inner most core strengths and the work that you do, it becomes a calling. That calling comes from deep within your very soul. It’s not a voice you can hear, but a burning desire you feel.  You do more than just show up each day; you have a passion and deep commitment to what you are doing, and because you find what you are doing meaningful and of service to the greater good then just yourself, you develop a greater sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and confidence in yourself. <strong>The</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>e is no other</strong><strong> </strong><strong>wa</strong><strong>y</strong><strong>.</strong></p>
<p>The difference between a job and a calling is not what you do but how you do it and how you truly feel <strong>about </strong>doing it. If you&#8217;re only showing up for the paycheck and have no emotional investment in the job, then it&#8217;s just a job and it can kill you like a cancer from the inside out. Anyone can turn a job or career into a calling; it&#8217;s all about mindset. When you see how your contributions are capable of making the world a better place and dedicate yourself to making a difference, not just for you, but for all those your life impacts, you’ll find that by using your core strengths, you can pursue a calling higher then even you can imagine.</p>
<p>For example, let’s say that one of your core strengths that you listed above was Energy &amp; Enthusiasm. A way that you might use this in the service of others would be to smile at everyone you meet throughout the day and make it a point to get them smiling too. When you smile a physical chemical reaction takes place in the pleasure centers of your brain that causes a physiological chain reaction to take place throughout your entire body. Laughing does the very same thing.</p>
<p><strong>How a</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>e you using your</strong><strong> </strong><strong>co</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>e st</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>engths each day? (write it down) </strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>What can you do to use your</strong><strong> </strong><strong>co</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>e st</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>engths for</strong><strong> </strong><strong>the g</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>eater</strong><strong> </strong><strong>good of all?</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Self</strong><strong> </strong><strong>Assessment</strong></p>
<p><strong></strong>How do feel about the work that you do? Do you find satisfaction and ongoing motivation in what you do and truly see the convergence of your signature strengths with how you&#8217;re making a difference in the world, or are you stuck in &#8220;job = paycheck&#8221; mode? Don&#8217;t worry! Wherever you are, you can get closer to true happiness by understanding your  own personal core strengths better.</p>
<p><strong>Remembe</strong><strong>r</strong><strong>, put what you have learned into daily practice starting right NO</strong><strong>W</strong><strong>.</strong></p>
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		<title>Absolutely Organized</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/stopstressingnow/UDWx/~3/NeppLPa8pUU/</link>
		<comments>http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/12/absolutely-organized/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Dec 2012 14:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stopstressingnow.com/?p=1816</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/12/absolutely-organized/">Absolutely Organized</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>The first thing you have to do is identify the worst or most out-of-control area of your life and start there.  Finish this sentence, “If I were more organized I could…” and let that become your goal and your motivation.  Write this down and post it somewhere you can see it every day. You may be motivated to have more quality time with your children, or have more time to yourself, or you may just want your house presentable enough to have company over, or organized enough to find what you need.  So decide what you want.  That’s the first step. Organized people are not afraid to make decisions and move on.

If your focus is on time management it’s important to organize your time from big to small, which means look at all you do in a given year. Write a list of all your big time commitments, then break it down by season.  Then you can look at a month, a week and a day.  You may find that you are doing one thing way too much and one way too little.  Think about the balance between work and family, your kids and your spouse, your family and yourself.  Plan activities that support your priorities, but don’t forget to leave yourself some down time.  On a micro level, create morning and evening routines that help you operate efficiently. To keep up with all you have to do and want to do, routines are a must.</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/12/absolutely-organized/">Absolutely Organized</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/dillardcolor2-252x170.png"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1817" title="dillardcolor2-252x170" src="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/dillardcolor2-252x170.png" alt="dillardcolor2-252x170" width="252" height="170" /></a>Sometimes we need help organizing our lives. It&#8217;s just the truth. I can&#8217;t think of a better way to start the new year or a new month or even just the next day, then to clean up the mess and free yourself from the stress a cluttered office, desk, room, house or life. So I have asked one of the TOP professional organizers in the business for some of her secrets for getting things in order. She&#8217;s the author of the best selling book: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002YX0AVK?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=attackanxiety-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=B002YX0AVK">Absolutely Organized: A Mom&#8217;s Guide to a No-Stress Schedule and Clutter-Free Home</a><img style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=attackanxiety-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=B002YX0AVK" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" /></p>
<p>It is with great pleasure I introduce to you a new member of our guest blogger program,<strong> Debbie Lillard</strong>.</p>
<p>As a Professional Organizer for the last 7 years, I usually get called in when a person is overwhelmed, at their wit’s end or when a situation has reached critical mass.  Everyone’s situations are different so my solutions are as varied as my clients.  However, there are some general rules or “absolutes” that I have found which organized people follow and disorganized people don’t.  I discuss these in my book “<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002YX0AVK?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=attackanxiety-20&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=B002YX0AVK">Absolutely Organized: A Mom&#8217;s Guide to a No-Stress Schedule and Clutter-Free Home</a><img style="border: medium none  ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=attackanxiety-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=B002YX0AVK" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" />.”  My reason for writing this book was to illustrate to people (specifically busy moms) that “You don’t have to live this way!”  If you are constantly running and never have time for yourself, if your house is in a constant state of disarray, if you are winging it every day without a clear idea of what happens next, know that it doesn’t have to be this way and you can change your situation.  Let’s talk about how and where to start.</p>
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
<p>The first thing you have to do is identify the worst or most out-of-control area of your life and start there. I know one of the most common out of control areas is with your personal taxes and as a side note I found this amazing <a href="http://turbotax.intuit.ca/tax-software/free-tax-software.jsp" target="_blank">free tax software</a>.  Finish this sentence, “If I were more organized I could…” and let that become your goal and your motivation.  Write this down and post it somewhere you can see it every day. You may be motivated to have more quality time with your children, or have more time to yourself, or you may just want your house presentable enough to have company over, or organized enough to find what you need.  So decide what you want.  That’s the first step. Organized people are not afraid to make decisions and move on.</p>
<p>If your focus is on <strong>time management</strong> it’s important to organize your time from big to small, which means look at all you do in a given year. Write a list of all your big time commitments, then break it down by season.  Then you can look at a month, a week and a day.  You may find that you are doing one thing way too much and one way too little.  Think about the balance between work and family, your kids and your spouse, your family and yourself.  Plan activities that support your priorities, but don’t forget to leave yourself some down time.  On a micro level, create morning and evening routines that help you operate efficiently. To keep up with all you have to do and want to do, routines are a must.</p>
<p>In addition to your daily routines, there are usually  bigger “<strong>house projects”</strong> that every homeowner has on their TO DO list, even if that list is just in your head.  Make your dreams for your home a little more concrete by writing them down. I suggest doing a walk through your home with your spouse and taking a copy book.  Think about the function of each room and make sure what is in that room supports the functions.  As you go to each room, write down what you need or want to do in there.  This becomes your plan book.  Put a timeline on the projects even if it’s just a season (Example:  landscape in the fall, update kitchen in the summer, etc) Set your budget and then prioritize the projects based on season, what you can afford or which is the most critical work to have done.  When you complete one room, move on to the next one.  Always finish one thing before you start another – that’s one of my absolutes!</p>
<p>Sometimes a project is smaller than a room and only involves an area or a category of stuff you want to organize.  For this type of organizing, try a little “<strong>CPR</strong>.” This is my organizing method which stands for:  <strong>CATEGORIZE, PURGE, and RE-ARRANGE</strong>. If you have a category all over the house, (like paperwork or photographs) bring it all into one room so you can see the scope of the project. Make your categories general at first and only make subcategories if one pile gets too big.  Purging involves recycling, donating and trashing items that you no longer need, want or use.  Re-arranging involves deciding where an item should be kept and actually moving it to the right room or container.  Many people make the mistake of buying containers first and trying to make their stuff fit.  I recommend only buying new containers when you know exactly what size and type you need.</p>
<p><strong>Paperwork</strong> is one specific area where most of my clients need help.  Now is a great time to clean out the old and make a system for the new paper coming in.  As you are gathering what you need for your taxes, clean out your files and create new ones if necessary.  Start with general categories and only create specific ones or subcategories if one file gets too big. When new paper comes into your house or office each day, categorize it into 3 piles: <strong> TO DO, TO READ, TO FILE</strong>. The rest can be recycled. Then move these piles to a place where you will handle them.</p>
<p>If the thought of organizing is stressing you out, don’t try to do it on your own.  Involve your family, a friend or call a professional organizer (<a href="http://www.napo.net/">www.napo.net</a> ) I try to make clean outs a fun family event by scheduling the time, putting on some music or setting a timer.  Then we all get rewarded after the clean out is done.  As you look at your organized room this should be your inspiration to keep going!  So many of my clients tell me once we finish a room, they just keep going back to it to enjoy it. Once the project is done, the process of maintaining involves straightening daily, cleaning weekly and cleaning out on a seasonal basis.</p>
<p><span><em><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;">Debbie Lillard is a Professional Organizer serving the Philadelphia area<br />
since 2003. Since starting her business, she has appeared on several<br />
episodes of HGTV&#8217;S </span></span></em><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;">Mission Organization</span></span></span></em><em><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"> as well as national radio talk<br />
shows.  She is a published author and nationally recognized expert on<br />
organization in the home.  She is also an active member of the National<br />
Association of Professional Organizers Greater Philadelphia Chapter<br />
(NAPO-GPC). For more information on Debbie, please visit:</span></span></em></span></p>
<p><a href="http://www.spacetospare.com/" target="_blank">http://www.spacetospare.com/</a></p>
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		<title>5 Simple Steps to Stop Stressing &amp; Stop Aging</title>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Mar 2012 00:39:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/03/5-simple-steps-to-stop-stressing-stop-aging/">5 Simple Steps to Stop Stressing &#038; Stop Aging</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>It is widely known that over 90% of diseases have stress as their catalyst. 

What hasn’t been realized is that when you’re stressed out, your growth system times out because your immune system is in “protect mode”. Being in protect mode is like being in constant duct tape therapy!

You’re either in in “growth mode” –growing younger or in “protect mode” and growth has stopped for repair. Growth mode is where you rebuild and build new cells, which due to hormonal issues, slows down as we age. If your system is repairing older dying or decaying cells, which are now known to be the breeding ground of cancer, it is not able to create new cells. This speeds up the aging process by- you guessed it- slowing down your hormonal process. Stress, actually distress and chronic stress, kills off oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone, the feel good, libido and metabolism boosters especially for women.  What boosts your metabolism the most is your libido and libido and longevity go hand in hand.

Jung called libido “Adaptive Energy”! In other words, to the extent your libido is strong, you can adapt to difficulty before it becomes a stressor. To do this you must develop conscious energy, otherwise known as will. Will however is an exhaustible resource. Inspiration has an expiration date- or should I say hour. Stress eats away at your will, the very thing that you need to solve the problem causing the stress. When your will is low, stress is high and likewise, when stress is high, your will gets low. High stress lowers your will, raises cortisol and so causes depression. Did you know boredom can also raise cortisol?


</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/03/5-simple-steps-to-stop-stressing-stop-aging/">5 Simple Steps to Stop Stressing &#038; Stop Aging</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/12.jpeg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-6115" title="Stress" src="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/12-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a>By Guest Blogger &#8211; <strong>Billy Sunday Mars</strong></p>
<p>It is widely known that over 90% of diseases have stress as their catalyst.</p>
<p>What hasn’t been realized is that when you’re stressed out, your growth system times out because your immune system is in “protect mode”. Being in protect mode is like being in constant duct tape therapy!</p>
<p>You’re either in in “growth mode” –growing younger or in “protect mode” and growth has stopped for repair. Growth mode is where you rebuild and build new cells, which due to hormonal issues, slows down as we age. If your system is repairing older dying or decaying cells, which are now known to be the breeding ground of cancer, it is not able to create new cells. This speeds up the aging process by- you guessed it- slowing down your hormonal process. Stress, actually distress and chronic stress, kills off oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone, the feel good, libido and metabolism boosters especially for women.  What boosts your metabolism the most is your libido and libido and longevity go hand in hand.</p>
<p>Jung called libido “Adaptive Energy”! In other words, to the extent your libido is strong, you can adapt to difficulty before it becomes a stressor. To do this you must develop conscious energy, otherwise known as will. Will however is an exhaustible resource. Inspiration has an expiration date- or should I say hour. Stress eats away at your will, the very thing that you need to solve the problem causing the stress. When your will is low, stress is high and likewise, when stress is high, your will gets low. High stress lowers your will, raises cortisol and so causes depression. Did you know boredom can also raise cortisol?</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h4>So what can we do about it?</h4>
<p>Oh yeah, the 5 Simple steps part.</p>
<p>1.<strong>Feed your cells well</strong></p>
<p>Make sure you eat a good breakfast consisting of high fiber complex carbs that keep your blood sugar low. Lower blood sugar helps lower stress because your brain is properly fed. Also be sure to get enough protein. Adding protein to your diet, not only balances blood sugar, it boosts metabolism and libido. Get good fats into your system. Sprinkle some ground flax, to increase Omega 3, into your oatmeal and while you’re at it add an egg or two-(one yolk). Yes the yolk is needed for the cholesterol which helps you produce DHEA, the precursor to estrogen and testosterone- remember again, the libido and metabolism boosting hormones.</p>
<p>2.<strong>Get Enough Sleep</strong></p>
<p>Years ago when I was in China, I watched them take mid-day naps for an hour. The mental recharge helped them to get twice as much done on a rested brain than we get done here on a worn out stressed out tired brain. A tired out brain leads to a stressed out person. It’s like driving an overheated car through the desert. You have to drive it really slow and end up going half the distance in twice the time it would take to let it cool down. Your brain is the same. This is compounded by just not getting enough sleep at night. If it’s what you do, stop watching mindless TV shows and depressing news when you feel tired. Relax and read and boost your libido. Yes, sleep boosts your libido and metabolism because your heal, rebuild while you’re resting and sleeping. Yes, I’m saying sleeping makes you sexier, healthier.</p>
<p>3.<strong>Supplement your Diet</strong></p>
<p>Today’s foods are so nutrient deprived, due to soil depletion, we can barely get enough vitamins and minerals in a day as we used to get in one meal. Those vitamins and minerals help you perform better and not only face stressors but prevent them. Vitamin C is a major immune booster and prevention is always less expensive , time, money and energy wise than the cure. Vitamin D is a great preventative for cancer and the calcium that usually comes with it in milk provides, not only for your bones but better brain function. Omega 3 fatty acids, found in fish oils, help your brain perform better. The better your brain functions the less you stress. The less you stress, the less or slower you age. Unfortunately, because of the amount of food you need to eat to get the amount of vitamins you need, the caloric cost kills you. So try a high quality multi-vitamin. Did you know your body keeps you hunger until it gets the vitamins and minerals it needs? A good multi-vitamin may help lower your appetite, especially due to the fact that when you are more calm from your brain working right, your tendency to eat emotionally decreases.</p>
<p>4. <strong>Exercise</strong></p>
<p>What wears you out faster builds you up faster. Science has proven that long stints on the treadmill are just like treading water while the Great White Shark of Aging gains on you.</p>
<p>It’s great for your heart and lungs and is needed, but strength training is what helps release the hormones that heal and rebuild you.  Again, get those hormones moving and you’ll boost libido &amp; metabolism slowing down the aging process, decreasing stress and sliding into that “little white dress”. The little black dress is for people who are “still trying to look thin”!</p>
<p>5. <strong>Increase Intimacy</strong></p>
<p>Alright have more sex- good sex- successful sex! The Big “O”!</p>
<p>It has become increasingly obvious that even TV with its Trojan minis for women is promoting what intimacy coaches have been encouraging for years, a “self-pleasuring practice”! Nothing releases more hormones,  feel good neuro-chemicals and dissipates stress as fast as the Big “O”.</p>
<p>In Tantric circles, it is combined with meditation and called “Medibation”! You can have a partner assisted pleasure practice if you are in a relationship or married, however not “O”-ing is not an option, if you want to stop aging! Dr. Oz actually recommends 200 per year. Drs. Agree it can add, anywhere from 7-15 years to start. Wonder why I wrote a book called  Fit for Love?</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>For More Information On Billy Sunday Mars, please visit: <a href="http://www.billysundaymars.com/">http://www.billysundaymars.com/</a></p>
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		<title>EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS – The Truth</title>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:46:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Blog]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[THE TRUTH ABOUT EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stopstressingnow.com/?p=6101</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/02/emotional-affairs-the-truth/">EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS &#8211; The Truth</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>You would be shocked at the number of lies, myths and the variety of excuses associated with infidelity. I have gotten to the point now where I feel I can’t be shocked. Yet, over and over again, I am surprised by the ingenuity of wayward partners. Certain people seem to possess a yearning for deception [...]</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/02/emotional-affairs-the-truth/">EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS &#8211; The Truth</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/EA.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-6103" title="EA" src="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/EA-300x197.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="197" /></a>You would be shocked at the number of <strong>lies, myths and the variety of excuses</strong> associated with infidelity.</p>
<p>I have gotten to the point now where I feel I can’t be shocked. Yet, over and over again, I am surprised by the ingenuity of wayward partners. Certain people seem to possess a yearning for deception and will almost always find a way to rationalize their behavior. They say almost anything to <em>prove</em> their “deception” was actually taking the high road – that somehow “lying” was better than hurting another’s feelings.</p>
<p>The following is a short list of the biggest myths/excuses we have come across</p>
<p><strong>MYTH:</strong> Everybody does it.<br />
<strong>FACT:</strong>  Actually, most partners <em>are</em> faithful.</p>
<p><strong>MYTH:</strong> Affairs are good for your marriage. <strong> </strong><br />
<strong>FACT:</strong>  Infidelity is one of leading causes of divorce.</p>
<p><strong>MYTH: </strong>The betrayed spouse must be at fault; he/she failed in someway.<br />
<strong>FACT:</strong>  No one can “cause” another to cheat, lie or deceive.</p>
<p><strong>MYTH:</strong> If an affair occurs, the marriage must end in divorce.<br />
<strong>FACT:  </strong>Many couples stay together and actually emerge stronger.</p>
<p><strong>MYTH: </strong>An affair brings out the best in me.<br />
<strong>FACT:</strong>  Guilt (whether unconscious or conscious) never brings out the best in anyone.</p>
<p><strong>MYTH: </strong>What they don’t know won’t hurt them.<br />
<strong>FACT:</strong>  Secrets block intimacy and lack of intimacy hurts <span style="text-decoration: underline;">BOTH</span> partners.</p>
<p><strong>MYTH:</strong> If there’s no sex, there’s no affair.<br />
<strong>FACT:</strong>  Emotional affairs are just as dangerous, deceptive and painful as physical affairs.</p>
<p>Recently, I read a bumper sticker I really liked. It said: <em>Don’t believe everything you think.”</em><br />
What it hints at is the great paradox of the mind – that it is possible to be fooled by your own thinking.</p>
<p><strong>It’s the same with emotional affairs. </strong></p>
<p>The EA (Emotional Affair) is the NEW testing ground for monogamy. Many partners who never intended to be unfaithful unwittingly cross the road from platonic friendships into emotional affairs, with all the innocence of a deer crossing a dark road. Many people never see the damaging emotional impact…until its way too late.</p>
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
<p><strong> What is an emotional affair?</strong></p>
<p>Emotional affairs often begin when there is a feeling of greater emotional intimacy and “understanding” being perceived from a person <em>outside</em> of a primary relationship. Often, there is <em>unwillingness</em> to acknowledge that a sexual attraction is beginning to take place.</p>
<p>This results in secrecy and denial that becomes very damaging to the trust, intimacy and honesty which may have taken years to build.</p>
<p>The REAL trouble with emotional affairs is the level of intimacy that develops.</p>
<p><strong>INTIMACY (In-To-Me-See)</strong></p>
<p>Intimacy is not about sex (although sex can be a tool to enhance intimacy). Intimacy is really about “trust” and the ability to share your inner self with someone else. This is the “key” that unlocks the doors to the deepest parts our being.</p>
<p>When this kind of intimacy is created between two people, a third thing emerges…this is called “emotional bonding”. Depending on the degree of bond, and the strength of the emotional connection, many faithful spouses find themselves in over their heads.<br />
Why is emotional bonding outside of your primary relationship dangerous?</p>
<p>The answer is found in the bumper sticker mentioned earlier:</p>
<p><strong>“Don’t believe everything you think.”</strong></p>
<p>Which points to one possibility: Our mind has the ability to seduce us.</p>
<p><strong>Thoughts become things.</strong></p>
<p>Once you allow your mind to focus on building deeper emotional connections with someone outside your primary relationship…even if it’s all in your head, it’s only matter of time until those thoughts seek to manifest into reality.</p>
<p><strong>Common breeding grounds for emotional affairs:</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Internet / online conversations.</li>
<li>Workplace proximity.</li>
<li>Trade shows / conventions/business trips.</li>
<li>Groups of people who share hobbies.</li>
<li>Friendships with the opposite sex.</li>
<li>Friendships with the same sex.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Just friends vs. romantic relationships:</strong></p>
<p>Am I saying that all friendships have the potential to become emotional affairs? No, not at all. Let’s look at the difference more closely.</p>
<p><strong>High feelings of connection and understanding</strong><br />
<strong> + Secrecy and denial or deception</strong><br />
<strong> <span style="text-decoration: underline;">+ Sexual attraction and/or sexual chemistry </span></strong><br />
<strong> = EMOTIONAL AFFAIR</strong></p>
<p>These are the links in the chain that make up an EA. Remove one or more of the links, and break the chain, and all you have is a simple, platonic friendship.</p>
<p>The main difference in EA&#8217;s is found in the fact that even though physical sex hasn’t happened, the “emotional transference” has. This means you’ve begun re-directing your emotional energy toward a person outside of your primary relationship.</p>
<p><strong>How EA’s develop</strong></p>
<p>It ALWAYS starts with a conversation. It’s the contact, the sharing of ideas and the exchange of mutual interest, thoughts and feelings.</p>
<p><strong>Here’s the typical process:</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>You find a person who is easy and fun to talk to (<em>could be online or in person</em>).</li>
<li>Before you know it, you’re sharing the BIG THREE inner worlds.<br />
<table width="476" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td></td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
</li>
<li>For some inexplicable reason, you feel it’s safe to “confide” these things to this individual. Sometimes you reveal things you may never have shared with your true partner.</li>
<li>He/she is more understanding than you would have imagined. This opens the way for you to share your dark side: your fears, concerns and secret troubles.</li>
<li>They listen without judgment – offering advice that seems so wise and intelligent.</li>
<li>You begin to cherish the time you spend together; you feel you’ve found a friend – someone who “understands you”, appreciates your quirky sense of humor, and still doesn’t judge you.</li>
<li>You have now admitted them into your “inner world”. You find yourself thinking of them at random times during the day.</li>
<li>Now the classic “compare &amp; contrast” begins as you often think, “Why can’t my partner be more like him / her?”</li>
<li>Next, your future conversations and meetings take on an even more “secretive” and seductive air. The sexual tension heightens.  You behave differently around them with your partner or others are around.</li>
<li>Secrets and deception begin. Since privacy is paramount, and romance is in the air, you wouldn’t want your partner overhearing or having access to conversations you have with this person.</li>
<li>Your preferences and priorities begin to shift. Now you find yourself wanting to spend more and more time with them. You want to share even more of yourself with them. Your thoughts, your feelings and – yes – even your body.</li>
</ol>
<p>Watch out for the WAKE UP CALL.  It’s just around the corner.</p>
<p>At this point, you are lost in the EMOTIONAL FOG of a full-fledged affair. Emotions are like smoke. They can create a thick fog that surrounds you one minute and completely disappears the next.</p>
<p>Beware that as sweet, as real and as compelling as the emotional fog may feel… <span style="text-decoration: underline;">it’s still an illusion</span> (<em>especially since it’s created from secrecy and deception</em>).</p>
<p>Do not resist it. At the same time, do not allow your thoughts and feelings to fuel the fog any further. Fantasy and secrets are very powerful. They throw gasoline on the fire.</p>
<p>However, once you come clean with yourself, all the ‘secrecy” and the deception are quickly removed.</p>
<p>The only thing left is Reality (<em>a great place to return to</em>).</p>
<p><strong>First things first…</strong></p>
<p>Talk about it. Don’t hide it. Don’t deny it. Don’t ignore it.</p>
<p>Remember this. Whatever you hide, you strengthen. If you want clarity (which you need in order to make honest discoveries), then you have to shed light on the situation.<br />
Of course, the ideal person to talk to is your partner. However, since emotional affairs are more likely to occur in relationships in which intimacy and honesty levels are low, here is a suggestion to help pave the way:</p>
<h5 align="center"><strong>TIPS TO HELP YOU TALK TO YOUR<br />
PARTNER ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONAL AFFAIR</strong></h5>
<p>If you are unsure how your partner will respond to idea that you maybe involved in an emotional affair, click on the link below to send them a copy of this article.</p>
<p>This will help them have a better understanding of what an emotional affair is all about. It will help them to clearly see emotional affairs can happen to anyone. The key is to recovery is for BOTH of you to focus on “solutions” rather than blame.</p>
<p><strong>STEP #1</strong></p>
<p><strong>“Trying” to get yourself out of the fog is the first step to actually getting out.  </strong></p>
<p>If you find you can’t talk to your partner, (a <strong>major red flag</strong> in itself by the way) then your next best option is to talk to a professional like myself, a “safe” friend, or maybe even your priest or minister.</p>
<blockquote><p><em> Obviously my opinion is somewhat biased. But, when it comes to helping people understand the “emotional fog” caused by emotional affairs and using gentle ways to navigate their way out, I know that is something I have helped many of my clients do successfully. </em></p></blockquote>
<p><strong>STEP #2</strong></p>
<p><strong>Sever all contact. </strong></p>
<p>Chances are the other person has some strong emotional leverage over you. For whatever reason, (<em>reasons are not important</em>) you’ve been directing a lot of your emotional energy towards them. Chances are, they have been doing the same towards you. Sexual energy directed towards anyone can be <span style="text-decoration: underline;">very</span> addictive. It would be a big mistake for someone to think &#8220;it’s easy to ignore&#8221; OR &#8220;I can control it&#8221;. That&#8217;s why you <span style="text-decoration: underline;">MUST</span> SEVER ALL CONTACT</p>
<p>And if that’s not possible (<em>for example, if its some one you work with or need to interact with on a daily basis</em>) then you do <span style="text-decoration: underline;">not</span> allow yourself to indulge in the compulsion to “think” or &#8220;fantasize&#8221; or “wish” or “yearn” in anyway.</p>
<p><strong>STEP #3</strong></p>
<p><strong>You MUST be careful and be patient with yourself.</strong></p>
<p>This is a process of unraveling an emotional entanglement.  It’s like backing out of a dark cave filled with sleeping lions. You must reverse your steps slowly, carefully and deliberately. Doing this correctly requires you be to be <span style="text-decoration: underline;">patient</span>, <span style="text-decoration: underline;">persistent</span> and <span style="text-decoration: underline;">gentle.</span></p>
<p>Maybe you’ve already seen the signs, and rather than simply standing by, watching the person you love self-destruct, you’ve decided to do something. Good for you!</p>
<p align="left">Here’s my advice:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Do not assume anything physical has been consummated.</strong></li>
</ol>
<p>This is a fatal error made by many betrayed partners. By jumping to this conclusion, too many people wind up signing their own relationship-death-warrant.</p>
<p>Once a partner feels “damned” for something he or she has not actually done, it tends to leave the door open for them to <em>actually</em> go through with it.</p>
<p>They figure, “What the hell, I’m already getting blamed for this. I might as well do it.”</p>
<p>You would be surprised how much of a role the accuser plays in all this.  Overreacting or &#8220;finger pointing&#8221; is a big mistake betrayed partners often make. They allow themselves to become so “negative” or &#8220;fear ridden&#8221;, they wind up pushing their spouse further down the slippery slope of becoming <em>more</em> involved in an emotional affair.</p>
<p>Here are 5 things you can do to STOP a partner&#8217;s emotional affair.</p>
<p><strong>1</strong> &#8211; <strong>Speak up about it.</strong></p>
<p>Passive partners get left behind. Being passive about any kind of infidelity is the quickest way to find yourself standing in the aftermath of what “used to be”.  It’s NOT fair.  But, as we all know, life never promised to be fair.</p>
<p>You have to be willing to confront without accusing. Be assertive without being aggressive. Talk to your partner about the warning signs that have come to your attention. Point them to this page if you need to. But, do not accuse them of being anything but the “best” they can be. (<em>90% of wayward partners are doing their best to keep from drowning in the ocean of their own emotions.</em>)</p>
<p><strong>2</strong> &#8211; <strong>Set your boundaries and state your “deal-breakers”. </strong></p>
<p>Make it very clear to your partner that you are not sure the marriage would survive an affair. Make sure they understand they are playing with fire. Make sure they know how devastated you would feel if they left you and / or had an affair.</p>
<p><strong>3</strong> &#8211; <strong>Remind them of the good times.</strong></p>
<p>The one thing the emotional fog blocks is the good times you’ve shared with your partner or spouse. It’s a good idea to remind them with pictures, words, stories, and anecdotes. Breakout the scrapbook and family videos if you have to. Tell them how much they mean to you. Be specific. Remind them of all the good times you’ve had together and keep the focus on this. The reality is: A wayward partner is more likely to come out of the fog for the “good memories” than for anything else.</p>
<p><strong>4</strong> &#8211; <strong>Never supplicate.</strong></p>
<p>Don’t beg, don’t plead, and don’t “yield” for the sake of staying together.<br />
As seductive as this tactic may seem&#8230; it NEVER works. Why? Because it displays low social value and low self-esteem. Neither of these are attractive traits to anyone. Compared to the confidence and “mystery” of the other person, you may look desperate and unattractive.</p>
<p><strong>5</strong> &#8211; <strong>Stage your own Re-Seduction campaign. </strong></p>
<p>It’s the most effective tool against infidelity. And yet, it’s the one skill most partners never learn. Many believe that seduction and romance ends at the altar. <strong>That’s just not the case.</strong> BOTH men and women crave attention, affection, and appreciation. They BOTH want to feel special, understood, valued and sexually attractive. When those needs are unfulfilled, it leaves a void&#8230; just waiting to be filled.</p>
<p><strong>A Re-seduction is entirely different from a <em>new</em> seduction.</strong></p>
<p>It’s easy to “woo” and seduce a partner who doesn’t know you. But what about one who knows all your moves, your jokes, your tactics and techniques? Not so easy right?</p>
<p><strong>Re-seduction takes advanced skills. </strong></p>
<p>It requires being able to make the familiar new again. You have to be able to re-establish the connection, re-ignite chemistry and stimulate passion. If all that sounds impossible to you, there’s good news.</p>
<p><strong>You already know how to do it.</strong></p>
<p>You have the triggers, patterns and attracting tendencies they like (<em>that’s why they fell in love with you in the first place</em>). The secret is to be able to call upon those same tendencies ( mixed with some new ones) to reawaken interest and re-direct their attention back to you.</p>
<p><em>Here’s another secret&#8230;</em></p>
<p>The partner in the primary relationship has the home court advantage. Many just don’t know how to put it to proper use.</p>
<p><strong>Stake your claim!</strong></p>
<p><strong>Don’t let a little competition scare you away.</strong></p>
<p>Even though the newness of being with another person may seem exciting in the moment (<em>especially because of all the “stage-lighting” brought on by fantasies and emotions</em>), newness cannot replace a solid foundation. Take a moment to compare the time you have already spent building that solid foundation with each other.  A genuine comparison seldom measures up. Do not allow your “pride” or fear to stop you from stepping up and protecting what you have…<strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">before it’s too late.</span></strong></p>
<p>NOW is the time to <strong>pull out all the stops</strong> and start YOUR re-seduction campaign. Rather than resorting to blame and accusations, ask yourself where you may have left the door open to allow this to happen. Be honest with yourself.</p>
<p><em>The bottom line?</em></p>
<p>An emotional affair can hurt just as much as a physical affair does (<em>sometimes even worse</em>). However, emotional affairs do not call for judgment or punishment. They call for compassion and understanding.</p>
<p>If you or your loved one feels pulled into the gravitational force of an emotional affair…it’s time to take back control.</p>
<p><strong>If you are dealing with suspected or confirmed emotional infidelity – then I encourage you do something that will make a difference. </strong></p>
<p>A big mistake people make is to treat emotional affairs –the-same as they would a physical affair. All that does is make a bad situation worse. Please don’t make that mistake.</p>
<p>Take advantage of the expert help I can give you. This is something I can really help you with. It is something I have had a tremendous amount of experience in dealing with &#8211; both professionally and privately. I encourage you to schedule an appointment so we can talk about what&#8217;s going on and how I can help. Remember, I am happy to talk with you one on one. I encourage you to<br />
accept my help by taking a moment to <strong>schedule your appointment now.</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=5601497"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=5601497&amp;ImageType=1" alt="" border="0" /></a></strong></p>
<p>I can bring you <strong>INSTANT</strong> clarification in any area that is affecting you,</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll help you through any problem you may have.</p>
<p>Non-Judgmental, Open minded conversation with someone who cares.</p>
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<p>Click here to read the first article: <a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/10/number-one-warning-signs-of-a-cheating-spouse/">http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/10/number-one-warning-signs-of-a-cheating-spouse/</a></p>
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		<title>Desperately Seeking Serotonin: The Story of Six, Sixty &amp; Sexy</title>
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		<comments>http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/02/desperately-seeking-serotonin-the-story-of-six-sixty-sexy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:40:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Billy Sunday Mars]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/02/desperately-seeking-serotonin-the-story-of-six-sixty-sexy/">Desperately Seeking Serotonin: The Story of Six, Sixty &#038; Sexy</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>Serotonin is the, “I feel safe and secure”- neuro-transmitter!
It is believed women require and use 6 times as much serotonin as men.
Did you know about 60 percent of women over 40 are on anti-depressants?
Sugary, starchy, fatty foods signal the brain and body to release serotonin and unbeknownst to many, that 60 percent of serotonin is actually produced in our gut. Because our gut is closely linked to our decision making area- (hence the terms gut check and gut feeling) - and reward center of our brain, the desire for sugary, starchy serotonin increasing foods can literally be “overwhelming”. Our emotional brain, to which women have eight times the blood flow of men in times of real or perceived danger-, is many thousands of times stronger than our rational brain which- by the way, actually needs glucose (blood sugar) to function in good decision making -ouch! That’s a lot like needing your glasses to find your glasses! You know that sudden, often unexplainable occurrence of crankiness that creeps in women without warning? Well, we just explained it. This is the real culprit in the low blood sugar mood altering and ensuing couples- let’s say disagreements, ok arguments- that has unfortunately and prevent ably ruined many a relationship. If someone’s decision making capacity is decreased, their choice of words to express themselves or their needs may be hampered. Their body and brain are on an emotional drive for food, without the rational brake center of their brain to help them. Do you realize how difficult this is for a woman – especially not realizing what or why this happens to her?

We all know- men and women, particularly the female and male brain -have their differences but, this one may be the most significant reason for the notable differences in female- male weight gain. The reason I say this is because in an attempt to increase serotonin, to increase their “subconscious” feeling of safety and security, women also often crave comfort foods. The problem with seeking serotonin through those released via comfort foods is, of course, the obvious caloric cost. Add to that the stress involved from “not feeling safe and secure, the subsequent release of the stress hormone cortisol which is notorious for creation and retention of belly fat and the “terrible trifecta” is complete.</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/02/desperately-seeking-serotonin-the-story-of-six-sixty-sexy/">Desperately Seeking Serotonin: The Story of Six, Sixty &#038; Sexy</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/Stopstressingnow.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-6099" title="Stopstressingnow" src="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/Stopstressingnow.jpg" alt="" width="270" height="270" /></a>By Guest Blogger: <strong>Billy Sunday Mars</strong></p>
<p>Serotonin is the, “I feel safe and secure”- neuro-transmitter!<br />
It is believed women require and use 6 times as much serotonin as men.<br />
Did you know about 60 percent of women over 40 are on anti-depressants?<br />
Sugary, starchy, fatty foods signal the brain and body to release serotonin and unbeknownst to many, that 60 percent of serotonin is actually produced in our gut. Because our gut is closely linked to our decision making area- (hence the terms gut check and gut feeling) &#8211; and reward center of our brain, the desire for sugary, starchy serotonin increasing foods can literally be “overwhelming”.</p>
<p>Our emotional brain, to which women have eight times the blood flow of men in times of real or perceived danger-, is many thousands of times stronger than our rational brain which- by the way, actually needs glucose (blood sugar) to function in good decision making -ouch! That’s a lot like needing your glasses to find your glasses! You know that sudden, often unexplainable occurrence of crankiness that creeps in women without warning? Well, we just explained it. This is the real culprit in the low blood sugar mood altering and ensuing couples- let’s say disagreements, ok arguments- that has unfortunately and prevent ably ruined many a relationship.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>If someone’s decision making capacity is decreased, their choice of words to express themselves or their needs may be hampered. Their body and brain are on an emotional drive for food, without the rational brake center of their brain to help them. Do you realize how difficult this is for a woman – especially not realizing what or why this happens to her?</p>
<p>We all know- men and women, particularly the female and male brain -have their differences but, this one may be the most significant reason for the notable differences in female- male weight gain. The reason I say this is because in an attempt to increase serotonin, to increase their “subconscious” feeling of safety and security, women also often crave comfort foods. The problem with seeking serotonin through those released via comfort foods is, of course, the obvious caloric cost. Add to that the stress involved from “not feeling safe and secure, the subsequent release of the stress hormone cortisol which is notorious for creation and retention of belly fat and the “terrible trifecta” is complete.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Low blood sugar</strong></li>
<li><strong>Low brain brakes</strong></li>
<li><strong>and last but not least -rather most important-</strong></li>
<li><strong>the craving for the sugar –</strong></li>
<li><strong>needed to help the brain stop the stressed out carb craving-</strong></li>
<li><strong>caused by the feeling it needs to release the serotonin to create the feeling of safety and security it wanted in the first place. </strong></li>
<li><strong>Which -BTW- typically comes in the form of foods that causes and or increase the belly fat kept on by the stress hormone cortisol.</strong></li>
</ul>
<p>Whew!</p>
<p>So how do you stop this vicious cycle from “Peddling out of control?”<br />
On a regular basis, in regular meals start by choosing more, slow burning complex carbs. Next increase the fiber to carb ratio in your foods which makes you feel more full. When I say slow burning complex carbs, I mean vegetables, natural fruits, berries (for anti-oxidants), unrefined whole grains (though not too many) and occasionally sweet potatoes which, though higher in sugar, have higher fiber than regular potatoes. Also increase your protein intake. Protein helps balance blood sugar. I realize many women don’t like to eat too much meat so go get yourself some higher protein – low glycemic health bars and keep those bars in your cars, in your purse, in your draw at work or handy at home. Keep bags of almonds or other nuts handy. Good fats also help you to feel full. It is important to stay as far, far, far away from saturated fats and high fructose corn syrup as possible.  They not only hurt your body, they inhibit the very brain function needed to keep you from eating them.</p>
<p>Next, don’t slack on your sleep. When you sleep you produce leptin the fat and metabolism regulating hormone that tells you when you’re full. It also offers anti-aging and anti-inflammation benefits because the less sugar you have less inflammation which, as Dr. Oz puts it, is a major ager! Without it your appetite and drive for comfort foods can spin out of control and have you unwittingly careening into the cookie, cake, chips and ice cream aisles in your otherwise friendly food store. Speaking of which keeping it out of your cabinets and out of your fridge (not hidden behind other healthier foods in either) is a great way to help yourself out.</p>
<p>Also, sitting in our chairs or couch in our sedentary life or jobs is a literally damaging, not only to our bodies but our brains which need better blood flow and circulation to make better decisions. You can boost your metabolism and blood flow to your brain at the same time- not to mention release some endorphins and, oh by the way serotonin itself, as well as dopamine can be released during exercise.<br />
Last but not least, being the author of Fit for Love, I have to say that, you guessed it- the number one, the numero uno, way to release feel good chemicals into your system is none other than that incredible climactic occurrence known as “the Big O!” Yes, the Big O is your best insurance against being O shaped! Aside from the rush and flow of feel good chemicals, not the least of which is serotonin, you also release growth hormones that increase your metabolism making it easier for you to stay young, slim and trim and if that isn’t a collective kick in depression’s oppressive pants, I don’t know what is–and you?</p>
<p>Yes, true, true of course I saved the ultimate climactic serotonin creating crescendo for last.<br />
Consider the previous the foreplay most men typically forget.</p>
<p>Blessings to all of you!<br />
You now have an arsenal of methods to “Stop Stressing Now!”</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>For More Information On Billy Sunday Mars, please visit: <a href="http://www.billysundaymars.com/">http://www.billysundaymars.com/</a></p>
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		<title>SIGNS OF INFIDELITY</title>
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		<comments>http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/01/signs-of-infidelity/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:29:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Blog]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stopstressingnow.com/?p=6078</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/01/signs-of-infidelity/">SIGNS OF INFIDELITY</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>Have you ever wondered what you should do if you suspect your mate is cheating?

It happens to us all. 

Currently, a Google search on “Infidelity” shows 4,230,000 web pages on this topic. Chances are, you have probably read a good amount of “How to tell if your spouse is cheating” or “What to do if you suspect your spouse is cheating” articles.

This is a little different.

My approach to detecting, preventing and surviving infidelity is a bit unusual by most, so called, conventional standards.

First things first…

Everyone is innocent – until proven otherwise.

Suspicion is NOT proof.

Finding “clues” and NO proof is circumstantial at best. And as reliable as your intuition may be – it’s still NOT proof.

Circumstantial “evidence” is not enough to convict in a court of law and it should not be enough to convince you either.

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make against their spouse is accepting “suspicious behavior” as proof of unfaithful behavior.

Jumping to conclusions or allowing the jealousy demon to whisper in your ears will only torture you.
</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/01/signs-of-infidelity/">SIGNS OF INFIDELITY</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/infidelity.jpeg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-6082" title="infidelity" src="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/infidelity-300x217.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="217" /></a>Have you ever wondered what you should do if you suspect your mate is cheating?</p>
<p><strong>It happens to us all. </strong></p>
<p>Currently, a Google search on “Infidelity” shows 4,230,000 web pages on this topic. Chances are, you have probably read a good amount of “How to tell if your spouse is cheating” or “What to do if you suspect your spouse is cheating” articles.</p>
<p><strong>This is a little different.</strong></p>
<p>My approach to detecting, preventing and surviving infidelity is a bit unusual by most, so called, <em>conventional </em>standards.</p>
<p>First things first…</p>
<p><strong>Everyone is innocent – until proven otherwise.</strong></p>
<p><strong><em>Suspicion</em> is NOT proof.</strong></p>
<p>Finding “clues” and NO proof is circumstantial at best. And as reliable as your intuition may be – it’s still NOT proof.</p>
<p>Circumstantial “evidence” is not enough to convict in a court of law and it should not be enough to convince you either.</p>
<p>One of the biggest mistakes I see people make against their spouse is accepting “suspicious behavior” as proof of unfaithful behavior.</p>
<p><strong>Jumping to conclusions or allowing the jealousy demon to whisper in your ears will only torture you.</strong></p>
<p>The key is to stay calm and stay in the present. Like any good police detective, you have to be patient, watch, wait and observe. You have to become the “lead detective” in your own life. The only way to achieve this kind of rational observation is to keep seeing your partner AS innocent, until proven otherwise. Sometimes it takes time for the truth to reveal itself. Trust in this process and know that you will be okay either way.</p>
<p><strong>Expect the best while preparing for the worst.</strong></p>
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
<p>Most people do just the opposite. They don’t prepare at all. They just expect to find the worst and jump ahead of everything. The secret is to reverse this order of importance. Expect the best behavior from your partner. Expect they are behaving honorably behind your back. Expect they are keeping their promises. Expect they want to live impeccably and TELL THEM this is what you see and expect in them.</p>
<p>I have seen this work wonders in many relationships! Even when a spouse may have been tempted or thought of being lured into temptation, they find themselves wanting to live up to their partner’s trusting “vision” of them.</p>
<p>Acting contrary to this image of impeccability no longer feels right. Also by doing this, many wayward partners have broken down and confessed some kind of infidelity – be it emotional, physical or otherwise. This kind of self-directed admittance is always the best because the chances of healing and making a breakthrough are substantially higher.</p>
<p>While it’s true that you always want to expect the best of yourself and your partner, you must also be practical and prepare for the worst case scenario.</p>
<p><em>“Steven, how do I prepare for the worst?”</em></p>
<p>By being willing to ask yourself the tough questions and being just as willing to hear the truth (no matter what that may be).</p>
<p>Do you suspect that your significant other is cheating? I can help you find the truth you deserve. Simply give me a call by clicking on the call button below and you&#8217;ll be connected with me personally, privately and 100% anonymously through AT&amp;T. I will not have your number and you do not have mine. The system connects us both. I have helped thousands and I can help you through this difficult time.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=5601497"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=5601497&amp;ImageType=1" alt="" border="0" /></a></strong></p>
<p>I can bring you <strong>INSTANT</strong> clarification in any area that is affecting you,</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll help you through any problem you may have.</p>
<p>Non-Judgmental, Open minded conversation with someone who cares.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=5601497"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=5601497&amp;ImageType=1" alt="" border="0" /></a></p>
<p><strong>On a clean sheet of paper, draw two columns.</strong></p>
<p>On the left side, make a list of your worst fears. For example…He/she falls in love and leaves. He/she gets HIV and brings it home to you. You become a struggling, single parent. You end up alone. You feel humiliated, etc.</p>
<p>On the right side, reframe all your fears into something positive: For example: Next to your fear of being abandoned, you might write, “Because I have family and friends to count on, it is impossible for me to be alone.” Or, next to your fear of being humiliated, you could write, “I have done nothing wrong. I will not accept shame.”</p>
<p><strong>Why is this worksheet important?</strong></p>
<p>I have discovered that most people rush into confrontation, hiring PI’s to spy for proof, without first being emotionally ready to deal with the truth. I am convinced that taking time to face your fears gives you the necessary power and self-confidence to handle whatever emerges.</p>
<p>If you feel a strong suspicion that your partner is cheating, DO the emotional worksheet ahead of time. Get a grip on your fears so they don’t blind side you.</p>
<p><strong>The more they have to lose – the more they have to lie.</strong><br />
Here’s the reality of infidelity. It’s not the “sex” or loss of attention that hurts the most.</p>
<p><strong>It’s the deception</strong>.</p>
<p>YOU confront – and – THEY deny. YOU cry, beg and plead for the truth and THEY lie. You promise to work it out, to be kind and patient and NOT to judge them.  And yet, THEY still lie.</p>
<p>Well, there’s good news and bad news about the lying game. The bad news is this: The more a person has to lose, the more they have to lie to cover up. Lying (just like denial) is a tactic to protect against the threat of emotional pain.</p>
<p>In other words, the majority of liars lie to protect themselves from being hurt. To them, it is a self-preservation technique.Am I saying that lying through your teeth to save yourself the headache of owning up to your actions is excusable?</p>
<p>Perish the thought!</p>
<p>What I AM saying is that lying, when you have a lot to lose, is standard defense. It is not the best choice. It is not the strongest choice. It is simply the lazy and cowardly choice.</p>
<p>Once you are aware that lying is a defense mechanism, it frees you from ever being trapped in a cheater’s lies. You can see “through” them rather than trying to understand them. You can condemn the “lie” and not the liar. You can afford to be gracious once you see it as a “weakness” rather than a personal attack against you.</p>
<p>If your partner is cheating, then he or she is lying. Not just to themselves, but to the rest of their world.</p>
<p>Now, you may be thinking to yourself: Steven, won’t they be getting away with these lies?</p>
<p>No, not at all.</p>
<p>There is a high price to pay for lying. It robs people of their own sense of personal power. It steals their inner joy and destroys their feeling of freedom and self-respect. It almost always eventually leads to a feelings of isolation and loneliness.</p>
<p>The universe you and I live in continually seeks to balance itself. Deception NEVER fulfills the deceiver. Lies ONLY trap the liar. There are absolutely NO REWARDS on earth for lying to yourself or others.</p>
<p>The ultimate price for lying and deceiving others? Losing your own happiness (a pretty hefty price, don’t you think?).</p>
<p><strong>Creating a space for honesty.</strong></p>
<p>People ask me all the time…Should they hire a private detective, put spy software on their partner’s computer, or engage in other “covert” infidelity detection methods.</p>
<p>Here’s my answer.</p>
<p>In certain rare instances, all of those techniques have a place. However, I am a firm believer in taking the high road whenever possible.</p>
<p>If you believe your partner is being deceptive and you use deceptive methods to discover the deception, then I have to ask — who is more deceptive?</p>
<p><strong>On becoming a deception detective.</strong></p>
<p>The first rule to take into consideration is that ALL cheaters WILL lie. After they have finished lying – they will promptly start lying again. It’s not personal. It’s just the nature of the beast. So how do you go about finding the truth – when so many lies are the norm?</p>
<p>To catch a cheat, it may first look like you must fight fire with fire (<em>deception with deception)</em>.Hold on. Before you take the low road, know there is another way: I call it preparing a space for honesty.</p>
<p>This plays a big role in the marriage wellness coaching program that I provide for couples who are facing this kind of uncertainty. It’s based on the premise that Honesty is a two-way street:</p>
<ol>
<li>You let your partner know it’s “safe” to be honest.</li>
<li>You let your partner have “amnesty” to be truly honest.</li>
</ol>
<p>Many of us say we want our partners to be totally honest (so long as they say the things we want to hear). But the moment they don’t, we react and instantly fly into a rage.</p>
<p><strong>If you want to hear the truth, you must be able to handle the truth.</strong></p>
<p>Most people cry fowl when I explain this concept to them. They say you should tell the truth regardless of the consequences. While I agree that this would be ideal, it’s just not realistic.</p>
<p><strong>People will only be as honest with you as you allow them to be.</strong></p>
<p>The reason most people lie? To protect themselves from the threat of danger or emotional pain. So, what if we removed that threat? What if we made it so that speaking the truth created HIGH positive rewards? How much more likely are they to be honest &#8211; voluntarily?</p>
<p>A lot more!</p>
<p>You see my point?</p>
<p>One last thing&#8230;</p>
<p>Do you feel you truly have reasons to suspect your partner is having an affair?</p>
<p>If the answer is “yes”, then please don’t deny your feelings. Don’t bury your head in the sand. Time is not on your side. After years of watching how the dominoes fall in the area of infidelity discovery, I would say, chances are very good that you’re feelings are correct. But what can you do about it?</p>
<p>There&#8217;s got to be a better way than spying on your partner or going out and finding your own private detective. I believe it&#8217;s better to get to the truth voluntarily. Don&#8217;t you?</p>
<p>Why not let me teach you my 4-step strategy for inspiring true confessions. You&#8217;ll be amazed at how well it works. You will learn how to inspire more honest communication, better handle jealousy, inspire more trust and stop your relationship from getting worse.</p>
<p>I want to help you become aware of more possibilities and options you have. Let&#8217;s work together to decide what action steps you should take next. If this sounds good to you, then I invite you to click on any one of the following three links to get started now.</p>
<p><strong>Do You Need Some Advice? </strong></p>
<p>Do you suspect that your significant other is cheating? I can help you find the truth you deserve. Simply give me a call by clicking on the call button below and you&#8217;ll be connected with me personally, privately and 100% anonymously through AT&amp;T. I will not have your number and you do not have mine. The system connects us both. I have helped thousands and I can help you through this difficult time.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=5601497"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=5601497&amp;ImageType=1" alt="" border="0" /></a></strong></p>
<p>I can bring you <strong>INSTANT</strong> clarification in any area that is affecting you,</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll help you through any problem you may have.</p>
<p>Non-Judgmental, Open minded conversation with someone who cares.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=5601497"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=5601497&amp;ImageType=1" alt="" border="0" /></a></p>
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		<title>Holiday Weight Gain and Estrogen</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/01/holiday-weight-gain-and-estrogen/">Holiday Weight Gain and Estrogen</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>I watched an episode of Doctor Oz recently where he had a group of women on who were at their emotional end about how to get rid of their belly fat. It is very difficult, beyond psychologically, for a woman to so negatively watch her body change so let’s first take a moment here to empathize. Typically as a woman’s weight goes up, her self-esteem, her self-worth, goes down. Beyond anything a husband or boyfriend can say, for her, walking into a store and asking for- “the next size up” from last time- can be emotionally traumatic. Try to understand that when a woman gains weight around the middle it changes her symmetry which her system, at a subconscious level, knows is detrimental beyond immediate health, to her attractiveness to a partner or potential partner. Evolutionary Psychology has made it quite clear that it is not so much a younger but a healthier partner that is sought by a potential male mate. As a woman ages her hip to waist ratio, the golden measurement, changes. She tends to get thicker around her waist and loses muscle and muscle tone in her hips, further influencing a change in the youthfulness of her appearance. No amount of patronizing from friends or even a devoted mate can change the look she wants to receive from admirers, especially that devoted mate.
</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2012/01/holiday-weight-gain-and-estrogen/">Holiday Weight Gain and Estrogen</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p><strong><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/holiday-weight-gain.jpeg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-6071" title="StopStressingNow.com" src="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/holiday-weight-gain-300x199.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="199" /></a>Holiday Weight Gain and Estrogen &#8211; Billy Sunday Mars</strong></p>
<p>I watched an episode of Doctor Oz recently where he had a group of women on who were at their emotional end about how to get rid of their belly fat. It is very difficult, beyond psychologically, for a woman to so negatively watch her body change so let’s first take a moment here to empathize. Typically as a woman’s weight goes up, her self-esteem, her self-worth, goes down. Beyond anything a husband or boyfriend can say, for her, walking into a store and asking for- “the next size up” from last time- can be emotionally traumatic. Try to understand that when a woman gains weight around the middle it changes her symmetry which her system, at a subconscious level, knows is detrimental beyond immediate health, to her attractiveness to a partner or potential partner. Evolutionary Psychology has made it quite clear that it is not so much a younger but a healthier partner that is sought by a potential male mate. As a woman ages her hip to waist ratio, the golden measurement, changes. She tends to get thicker around her waist and loses muscle and muscle tone in her hips, further influencing a change in the youthfulness of her appearance. No amount of patronizing from friends or even a devoted mate can change the look she wants to receive from admirers, especially that devoted mate.</p>
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
<p>So what happens, especially during the holiday season to make what is supposed to be “the most wonderful, the most feared time of the year”? Long before your clothes begin to fit tighter around the waist you may notice you start feeling emotionally closed in and closed down during the colder months. Seasonal Affective disorder may play a part in this but more so, as mammals, we are designed to hibernate and slow down for the winter months. As a result we sometimes put on “the seasonal slow- down” pounds. Consequently, this makes it an especially untimely time for all those Holiday Parties.</p>
<p>Also, for many the Holidays are a time of reflection and not all of our memories are good. Family issues, tough times when you wish you could give more and often a feeling of sadness for not achieving things or worse being who and how you wanted to be sneak in and make it difficult to keep up the happy face you put on for others. So when you get to go to Holiday Parties, some of which you don’t really want to be at, you find yourself eating “not be to feel good but to not feel bad”! This is when people, especially women crave carbs! How many of you can honestly say when you feel bad you crave broccoli?</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>One of the reasons this takes place is that when you’re stressed, as most people are, during and after the Christmas rush, your brain is in overload and tries to keep up by over fueling itself with glucose that usually comes in the form of cookies and cakes (not saying I don’t enjoy that myself), rather than the much hallowed complex carbs which are not so simple to stick to during our difficult moments. There is a reason why what we choose are called comfort foods, especially during the holiday. They seem to be most readily available and right on the heels of Thanksgiving which we are still somewhat (excuse the expression) still “stuffed from”.</p>
<p>Left- overs anyone?</p>
<p>Another problem that affects women is the now –but little- known scientific fact that when a woman’s ovaries reduce their production of estrogen, their body purposely adds belly fat from which to draw w estrogen. That’s right, beyond keeping down your calorie count; you’ve got to be concerned with keeping your estrogen count up. Ever wonder why HRT’s put on belly fat? Your body knows what it needs, wants what it wants and will do what it needs to do to get it even to the extent of telling your brain- go ahead- have another cookie! And, in case you forgot, stress, especially due to all the chaotic running around during the holidays, causes you to produce more cortisol. Cortisol, as you may recall, also causes you to put on belly fat. Like you really need one more thing to deal with during the Season to be Jolly?</p>
<p>So what can we do about this? What can we do when we are at all these parties and we are under, not only peer pressure but our own inner stress? What can we do when everything we are has got us on a search and destroy mission for all things sweet, sticky, gooey or crunchy? If you want to stay “Fit for Love” for the Holidays you need to start thinking inside out. The answer, “Fill up before you go out”! Start where it all begins, not in your stomach but in your-you guessed it, your mind. Your mind is actually designed to get your body to do what it thinks it needs for survival- at least temporarily. Start smart and eat at least a somewhat healthier snack to provide little room for the doom and gloom belt loop expanders of the buffet table. Try watching some comedies or comedians to take off the edge rather than using “the happy punch”. Remember the more punch you drink, the more punches you may have add to your belt.</p>
<p>As my effort is to try to keep you “Fit for Love” remind you,</p>
<p>“Tis better to BE Dessert than Eat Dessert!”</p>
<p>Here’s to a Happy New You!</p>
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		<title>2012 – The Year Of Change</title>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Dec 2011 00:05:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/12/2012-the-year-of-change/">2012 &#8211; The Year Of Change</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>If you want to make a written plan, some of the questions you might begin with are:

Where do I want to be three months from now; six months from now; or a year from now?
How am I going to get there?
What do I have to do to get myself from where I am to where I want to be?
What's the first, small step I can take to get moving?

Stephen Brennan said, "Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a written plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success."

You will often be surprised how often the circumstances which will confront you, will fit in with plans you have laid out in advance.

Bernard Baruch, an adviser to many US Presidents, said, "Whatever failures I have known, whatever errors I have committed, whatever follies I have witnessed in private and public life have been the consequence of action without thought."</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/12/2012-the-year-of-change/">2012 &#8211; The Year Of Change</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-6059" title="2012" src="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012-300x208.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="208" /></a>Can you believe it&#8217;s already the end of the year?</p>
<p>It has become a ritual between Christmas and New Year&#8217;s for me to review what I have accomplished over the previous year and make a written plan of what I want to accomplish in the coming year.  I view a written plan much like a road map. It shows me the way, heads me in the right direction and keeps me on course.</p>
<p>Do you do anything like that?</p>
<p>Written plans are viewed by many of the most productive people I know as the power tool for achievement, the magic bridge to your goal. Alan Lakein, the author of books on time control said, &#8220;Planning is bringing the future into the present so you can do something about it now.&#8221;</p>
<p>If you want to make a written plan, some of the questions you might begin with are:</p>
<p><strong>Where do I want to be three months from now; six months from now; or a year from now?<br />
How am I going to get there?<br />
What do I have to do to get myself from where I am to where I want to be?<br />
What&#8217;s the first, small step I can take to get moving?</strong></p>
<p>Stephen Brennan said, &#8220;Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a written plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.&#8221;</p>
<p>You will often be surprised how often the circumstances which will confront you, will fit in with plans you have laid out in advance.</p>
<p>Bernard Baruch, an adviser to many US Presidents, said, &#8220;Whatever failures I have known, whatever errors I have committed, whatever follies I have witnessed in private and public life have been the consequence of action without thought.&#8221;</p>
<p>Do something different this year and plan 2012 the way you want it to be, then we can make it happen.<br />
<strong>Change is possible.</strong></p>
<p>*** Remember, If you do what you have always done, you will continue to get what you always have had.<br />
If you need some help planning your course for the new year, I am so very happy to help.</p>
<p>Just give me a call.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=5601497"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=5601497&amp;ImageType=1" alt="" border="0" /></a></strong></p>
<p>To your success,<br />
I look forward to speaking with you again very soon,<br />
Steven Diamond</p>
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		<title>CLASSIC CHEATERS’ BEHAVIOR</title>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:56:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/11/classic-cheaters%e2%80%99-behavior/">CLASSIC CHEATERS’ BEHAVIOR</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>They are cheating Red Flag # 2 —Shifts in Behavior

Another big clue your partner is keeping a secret is when they have a noticeable "shift" in their behavior, interests or attitude.

Keeping in mind that many things can cause a person’s behavior to shift. It's not always infidelity. It could be things like a new job, relocation, menopause, illness, financial stress, etc. But when there are no obvious reasons (and when everything else is relatively calm) shifts in behavior become a big red flag.

What follows are examples of some noticeable changes in behavior that clued some of our clients in on the fact that their partner was cheating.

CLASSIC CHEATERS’ BEHAVIOR</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/11/classic-cheaters%e2%80%99-behavior/">CLASSIC CHEATERS’ BEHAVIOR</a>
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<strong>They are cheating Red Flag # 2 —Shifts in Behavior</strong></p>
<p>Another big clue your partner is keeping a secret is when they have a noticeable &#8220;shift&#8221; in their behavior, interests or attitude.</p>
<p>Keeping in mind that many things can cause a person’s behavior to shift. It&#8217;s not always infidelity. It could be things like a new job, relocation, menopause, illness, financial stress, etc. But when there are no obvious reasons (<em>and when everything else is relatively calm</em>) shifts in behavior become a big red flag.</p>
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<p>What follows are examples of some noticeable changes in behavior that clued some of our clients in on the fact that their partner was cheating.</p>
<p><strong>CLASSIC CHEATERS’ BEHAVIOR</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>Staying up late and on the computer for hours.</li>
<li>A new, unfamiliar hobby.</li>
<li>Noticeable mood swings (<em>being short-tempered, distant, defensive</em>).</li>
<li>Acting differently towards family and friends (<em>being vague, distracted, or &#8220;in their own world</em>&#8220;)</li>
<li>Suddenly developing a Dr. Jekyll &amp; Mr. Hyde personality (<em>one minute being more attentive to you, the next minute being mean or cold for no apparent reason</em>).</li>
<li>New interest in exercise, diet, fashion, colognes or perfumes.</li>
<li>Being overly earnest (<em>having a sudden willingness to run errands, when they usually would not</em>).</li>
<li>Hyper attention to personal hygiene (<em>carrying breath fresheners, gum, mints, etc.</em>)</li>
<li>Higher than normal desire for sex (<em>including new sense of adventurousness.</em>)</li>
<li>Little or NO desire for sex (<em>often blaming stress, finances, deadlines, or work-related excuses</em>).</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>All people do develop &#8220;patterns&#8221; of behavior.</strong></p>
<p>Naturally, after living with another person for a long period of time, most of us will begin to learn (<em>and &#8220;pickup&#8221;</em>) on our partner&#8217;s patterns.</p>
<p>This happens on both a conscious (<em>and subconscious</em>) level. When people begin acting differently with no apparent reason, there is usually a hidden reason.<br />
Do you suspect that your significant other is cheating? I can help you find the truth you deserve. Simply give me a call by clicking on the call button below and you&#8217;ll be connected with me personally, privately and 100% anonymously through AT&amp;T. I will not have your number and you do not have mine. The system connects us both. I have helped thousands and I can help you through this difficult time.</p>
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<p>Click here to read the first article: <a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/10/number-one-warning-signs-of-a-cheating-spouse/">http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/10/number-one-warning-signs-of-a-cheating-spouse/</a></p>
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		<title>Number One Warning Sign Of A Cheating Spouse</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:02:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Diamond</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.stopstressingnow.com/?p=6033</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/10/number-one-warning-signs-of-a-cheating-spouse/">Number One Warning Sign Of A Cheating Spouse</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p>Why are so many people blind sided by infidelity and cheating?

Why do so many betrayed partners never see it coming? Why are so many wayward partners not prepared to handle temptation?

Looking back, we ask ourselves: were there signs, red flags, glaring evidence we should have seen coming?

The answer is almost always: Yes and No.

Here’s why. In almost all cases of infidelity, the betrayed partner indeed has warning signs, but usually fails to recognize them in time. And what good is a warning sign if you don’t see it and understand its meaning? Not much.

Hindsight is 20/20.

When they look back AFTER the discovery, people tell me they clearly recognized a number of signs.

So what are the warning signs, clues, or patterns that signal a partner/spouse is being unfaithful to you?

Red Flag #1

Your Own Intuition

What is triggering these feelings?

Your intuition. I call it our “invisible” deception detection system.

Our intuition does not depend on logic (the conscious mind). It relies on energy and information (the subconscious mind).

The conscious mind is extremely limited in how much information it can draw from and process. 

However, your subconscious mind does draw from ALL available information. (tone, past, patterns of behavior, body language, etc.)

So, while someone may try to convince us with logic that everything is okay…our intuition tells us the truth.

In hindsight, almost 90% of betrayed spouses recalled a moment of unease - a “hunch” their partners were involved with someone outside of their relationship. This almost always happens.

Why is this?

I believe it’s because...

...all affairs introduce deception.</p></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com - Connecting To Happiness!</a></p>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/2011/10/number-one-warning-signs-of-a-cheating-spouse/">Number One Warning Sign Of A Cheating Spouse</a>
<a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com">StopStressingNow.com</a></p><p><a href="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/Signs-Of-A-Cheating-Spouse.jpeg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-6036" title="Signs Of A Cheating Spouse - StopStressingNow.com" src="http://www.stopstressingnow.com/wp-content/uploads/Signs-Of-A-Cheating-Spouse-300x241.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="241" /></a>Why are so many people blind sided by infidelity and cheating?</p>
<p>Why do so many betrayed partners never see it coming? Why are so many wayward partners not prepared to handle temptation?</p>
<p>Looking back, we ask ourselves: were there signs, red flags, glaring evidence we should have seen coming?</p>
<p>The answer is almost always: <strong>Yes and No.</strong></p>
<p>Here’s why. In almost all cases of infidelity, the betrayed partner indeed has warning signs, but usually fails to recognize them in time. And what good is a warning sign if you don’t see it and understand its meaning? Not much.</p>
<p><strong>Hindsight is 20/20.</strong></p>
<p>When they look back AFTER the discovery, people tell me they <em>clearly </em>recognized a number of signs.</p>
<p>So what are the warning signs, clues, or patterns that signal a partner/spouse is being unfaithful to you?</p>
<p><strong>Red Flag #1</strong></p>
<p><strong>Your Own Intuition</strong></p>
<p>What is triggering these feelings?</p>
<p>Your intuition. I call it our “invisible” <strong><em>deception detection system</em></strong>.</p>
<p>Our intuition does not depend on logic (the conscious mind). It relies on energy and information (the subconscious mind).</p>
<p><strong>The conscious mind is extremely limited in how much information it can draw from and process. </strong></p>
<p>However, your subconscious mind does draw from ALL available information. (tone, past, patterns of behavior, body language, etc.)</p>
<p>So, while someone may try to convince us with logic that everything is okay…our intuition tells us the truth.</p>
<p>In hindsight, almost 90% of betrayed spouses recalled a moment of unease &#8211; a “hunch” their partners were involved with someone outside of their relationship. This almost always happens.</p>
<p>Why is this?</p>
<p>I believe it’s because&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230;all affairs introduce deception.</p>
<p><strong>Whether they are good liars or not, cheaters’ behavior is affected to some degree. </strong><br />
They may <em>try</em> to “over correct” by giving you more attention (spontaneous gifts, offering to do housework, etc.) or they might completely withdraw (or somewhere in between) but either way…<strong>deception “shifts” personal energy.</strong></p>
<p>Everyone has intuition.  The more sensitive and aware a person is, the more reliable their intuition becomes.</p>
<p><em>By the way, intuition is NOT foolproof.</em></p>
<p>You should be aware of the difference between suspicion and intuition.</p>
<p><strong>Suspicion</strong> is based on specific clues (unexplained absences, unusual phone calls, etc.). This is often circumstantial evidence.</p>
<p><strong>Intuition</strong> on the other hand, requires no evidence. It&#8217;s a gut feeling and is purely abstract. That’s why it&#8217;s usually the earliest warning sign you get.</p>
<p>Do you suspect that your significant other is cheating? I can help you find the truth you deserve. Simply give me a call by clicking on the call button below and you&#8217;ll be connected with me personally, privately and 100% anonymously through AT&amp;T. I will not have your number and you do not have mine. The system connects us both. I have helped thousands and I can help you through this difficult time.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=5601497"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=5601497&amp;ImageType=1" alt="" border="0" /></a></strong></p>
<p>I can bring you <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>INSTANT</strong></span> clarification in any area that is affecting you,</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll help you through any problem you may have.</p>
<p>Non-Judgmental, Open minded conversation with someone who cares.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/PT_interimcall.asp?sid=5601497"><img src="http://www.ingenio.com/calls/callimage.asp?sid=5601497&amp;ImageType=1" alt="" border="0" /></a></p>
<p>Call it a “gut” feeling.  It’s that indescribable “knowing” that something just isn’t right.  There are times when you may not be able to pinpoint the cause. But somewhere around your solar plexus, you keep getting a gnawing feeling of uneasiness. Inside you just know…something is wrong!</p>
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