Story Trumps Rules

Mereliths Wrath or Side Questing 4 Life

2020-12-07T10:45:00.002-08:00

Children or Chicken? or The Deception of Joseph.

2020-11-23T12:53:00.006-08:00

Alefest in Kraal continues as the village is taken over by Marileth

https://youtu.be/XDZB40rEYVc

Just Kramen Things or The Birth of BirdNautz

2020-04-10T21:25:00.001-07:00

Daryl and Stug leave the Fairy pond flying.
They run into a flock of geese but Daryl burns them with his fire breath
The GM has a Corona fit during quick maths and the geese crisp away and fall to the ground.

Volkorn continues his crafting in Malo's mansion.
Dranas rudely contemplates what would happen if a mage's mansion was created inside of another mage's mansion. Volkorn continues to craft with impressive skill (high rolls).
Daryl waits outside while Stug enters Malo's mansion and is greeted by Zeebo.
Daryl tells Stug to tell Volkorn about Kramen but Volkorn refuses interruption.
Daryl messages Volkorn to come outside and is interrupted anyway.
They discuss the future, kill Kramen? Ask Malo? Ask Malo.
Malo tells them that marked ones are kept safe by Kramen because they are held prisoner by him. He rules them under an iron fist. Volkorn quickly questions Malo's whereabouts during the Destruction of Durandal. Malo refutes any collusion in the act.
Malo continues to explain that Kramen marks people at birth and they become one of his followers.
Volkorn goes back to his crafting and Malo comments that it looks "pretty rad."
Daryl visits Volkorn while he crafts and spends some time with his brother

RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT

He converses with his brother and makes Volkorn uncomfortable but he continues to craft.
Nautz questions whether he will be able to catch fireflies again. Yes. SO many fireflies.

The sun begins to set as Dranas goes to the edge of a pier . the lake is crystal clear, fish swim in it. as darkness approaches you see a slight glow emanate from the fish. the lake has steam rising from it.
there are other elvish folk there as well as women and children skipping rocks.
there are huts and trees with people crafting items. shops, houses, etc. Dranas looks for a food vendor and finds 4 or 5, buys food and then retires to his room at the Gaia Inn.

Back to Daryl, the conversation continues.
His brother tells his account of the Destruction of Durandal. Mom and Dad tried to comfort him, they knew it was the end. The fire was everywhere very quickly. Daryl explains how Nautz was saved and our plans of birddom. Daryl then reads some Pirates of the Malestorm to him.

We then fade to black and return to Volkorn and his crafting. who is right next to Daryl.

Back to Dranas, he hears a knock at the door. A couple elf dudes, one of them is Chadwick from the weapons shop, his friend is Golias. They giggle quite a bit after a fart is heard. Chadwick and Golias ask to see Dranas's arm and confirm that he is unmarked. All Elves should be marked at birth.
Kramen's domain is underground, he protects the marked ones as long as they remain in the forest. The mark allows Kramen to see where his population is at and sends a beast of hell after those who attempt to flee.
Chadwick commends Dranas on his fine elvish blade. As he handles the blade it does not burn him but it does seem to begin smoldering the handle recently affixed to it.Dranas questions why the blade only burns or harms him and not Chadwick and Golias. Chad and Gol believe that no more elves exist outside the forest. Not since the Dragons burned everything down. GolChad can only translate a small portion of it and they are both shocked to hear that Dranas found it laying on the ground.
Chadwick reveals that when one of them dies, they are put into a pod and they grow into a tree. every tree in the forest is a member of our past. Chadwick believes its ok to skin people in the name of science. Dranas concocts a plan to feed a person until they become obese and then encourage massive weight loss so they can harvest the additional skin left over to make a handle.
Was the sword made by the royal army?
Dranas asks to test another idea, to use Gabinoid.

Back at Daryl's mansion Volkorn reads scripture now that his crafting appears to be complete.
Volkorn needs the blood of an innocent. The party discusses what that means and whose blood may be sufficient. Volkorn uses his own blood PRIMO OCTU NICTAY and slides the dick in. It begins to shine and Nautz begins to attempt speech which proves difficult. Nautz suddenly exclaims that he has to take an ethereal shit because he does not trust his farts.
Daryl refreshes the mansion and much of the party retires to their rooms.
We decide to then take a small break but never return to the game.

MP3

Hunting party scares or Fairy pond bathing

2020-03-14T12:14:00.000-07:00

daryl teleports to stug in the cold
he changes to a dragon and they fly

Dranas crafts a handle while zeebo watches on
he wakes up Malo with his loud ass armor
Malo casts silence on him
he looks through Malo's books

Stug and Daryl flyyyyyy
they come upon a farm
HAIL AND WELL MET
the father pisses himself
stug corkscrew leaps onto a horse that has strayed, he slips and falls into the snow
he expertly catches up and remounts the mare. he then returns her to the farm
Stug helps the daughters care for their father while Daryl sticks his head in the window

Esteris is the daughter
bandits sometimes come steal their crops. its middle of winter. when spring breaks they will return.
Daryl makes Esteris a teleport scroll and hands her a pre-prepped one. he tells her about Durandal
Stug finishes fixing their wagon
cares for the man
they then go hunting and Daryl finds a buck

one of the girls lifts it easily

they go off to hunt and find a fairy pond
Stug finds Treyu, a friend fairy, then bathes in the pond.

more speak of the mark and kramen

only those that are righteous caN SEE HIM
only those that will succeed him can beseech him
only those that are chosen will surpass him

Arts and crafts with Volkorn and Dranas! or Stugs new torture friends!

2020-02-28T19:35:00.001-08:00

Volkorn listens to loud music and is asked to turn it down

Dranas comes upon a travel-forge left behind by an elvish troop with a half-craft black elvish blade lying next to it. It burns at the touch.

Gavin and Daryl both look it over. Daryl sees the symbol of Yurlral on the base of the weapon and senses Druidic evocation powers and dark purple runes...

In Yuelral's passion cast down upon thee,

Those of the living, those of the flesh,

Stug tortures Azaelia and receives a coin for his efforts, markings etched in common.

sworn duty achaekek praying mantis picture

the one who walks in blood, deity of assassinations in death.

MP3

Dranas Mars, Private Investigator or The Weight of Loving and Losing

2019-11-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

Stug rejoins the Tor'Ar army to check in on "work" and is offered a chance to participate in some leisurely torture by Lieutenant Cadaver. He gives details of where and when to meet him if he's interested. Tomorrow, NorthWest of camp. Dig a hole.

Daryl browses fresh noodle ale titties as he finds this small village in the wastelands to feel almost like it's own vast country when browsing it's inner workings, but eventually finds a book to read and some glowweed to help persuade Malo for more information.

Dranas bears gifts of cupcakes and platinum to the BrokeBack Orphanage and continues his research back at the Archives. There he finds the name "Kramen" of the forest who speaks of killing those who fail to bear a "mark". Conversations of those who bear a mark ring familiar to Dranas as he recalls his latest meeting with the ROD's repeated acquaintance, the Blind man and Babe. Curiously when Dranas asks around town and investigates several taverns; his presence could not be validated by anyone in the area, as if he went unseen by the rest of the public.

Daryl's search for answers in Malo find only Zeebo standing in Malo's doorway. Zeebo communicates that Malo is out with no definite time of return so Daryl resigns to awaiting his return there. They pass the time by reading Daryl's new book (which may possibly be homo-erotic due to a misunderstanding in the name) as Zeebo thoroughly burns some popcorn to enjoy. It's not long before Daryl's message stone calls him away. It's an emergency.

The Elvish army invaded the spider-caves. Delilah is dead.

MP3

Welcome Back, Malo or I Dream of Lich's

2019-11-08T19:43:00.001-08:00

Reawakened, Malo is sad to hear that his old friend Gearsy has passed away due to wildly unforeseen circumstances. He explains to the ROD that the dots on the map they found were points of interest. Chances of great fortune, or great evil.

Daryl takes Malo on a Dragon ride and becomes very confused about who is and who is not riding him. he laughs hysterically into the night.
Volkorn wanders up to Malo's bar and discovers a secret cubby full of gems and diamonds.

Stug and Daryl go bear hunting and Stug keeps a carcass to fulfill a debt to Dranas. They then investigate a camp fire and meet the Ethereal Scouts, an elvish troop who had made camp for the night.

Volkorn studies books about song birds and transferring life into gems.
Dranas cooks and eats then reads his helacious cook book.

STOP Lich talk time.

Dranas turns up his nose at breakfast and cooks his own decadence-free monster quiche.

Everyone heads to the Archives of Nethys! Dranas begins his search for information on the Bob the Babayaga Swamp Bog Lich. Stug finalizes his application process while Daryl inquires about beginning his own. Daryl and Tommy Knocker hit it off as they admire Tommy's action figure collection together.

MP3

The Dashing of Volkorns Ambition or The Return of Legacy

2019-10-26T10:57:00.001-07:00

Hot off the heels of clearing a Torag dungeon, Dranas collects 1000 silver from Clarence Dropbottom for the trouble. Clarence then leaves with plans of snuff and unconsciousness.

Dranas pays for the gang to stay at a nearby inn. Heal Checks abound as Stug makes immediate use of the Inn’s incidental policy when he rips up the flooring in order to sleep in the earth. Gaelic reunites with the ROD and catches up on information.

Daryl awakes near the remains of Cayden’s Beard, only rubble and ash are left. His first vision was of Ronda, wearing a UFA armband, tending to him. Upon learning the danger of the area, Daryl teleports them away. The 2 lovers plan a secret rendezvous point should trouble ever arise and Daryl kisses her goodbye as he goes back out in search of his comrades.

Later, in Daryl’s mansion, Volkorn’s pleads for guidance are answered in a dream. Gary and Larry in a bar, Brokeback bandits in Tor’ar Castle, Malo’s Mansion, and more. DreamKeeper Volkorn laments that he can only analyze the dreams of OTHERS and not his own. He awakes with a sense of guilt.

Upon self-reflection Volkorn decides to seek out the cadaver of the child they witnessed die. 3^rd Shift officer Carl Withers happily guides Volkorn past the security doors into the holding area. They happen to pass by the cell that contains a man, face down, with a dagger protruding from his back, the handle black and curved, seems to have the texture of wood but Carl reassures Volkorn that it is made of tusk. Volkorn offers help in information gathering and then casts “speak with dead”. The cadaver invokes the name of Brokeback bandits but Carl is quick to dismiss this information as ramblings. This may be why they keep passing you over for promotion Carl. This right here. They then make it to the coroners lab where Volkorn successfully revives the boy who later reunites with his mother.

Poses are struck! Dranas is amazing! That confidence. That glow. That charisma. That gleam off his armor. Damn!k

Goliath Mudbutt?

Much shopping is done as Dranas enchants his bastard sword, Stug and Volkorn visit Wanda’s Wonders, and Daryl assists Stug at testing his new bracers. They then decide that it’s likely time to resurrect Malo and teleport back to his mansion. Zeebo quickly corrects them. They are already a day late.

Zeebo presents a finger, enough to resurrect Malo. The team has now reunited with their long dead mentor and feel despair as they have not accomplished what Malo has expected of them. They then hound him for information concerning mysteries they have long-carried. The Shield? Black Lotus? What happened to you? What next? A Lich?

Find out next time. Right here.

MP3

Walls and Rage, a Hammer and a Book or Swallowed Some Whole, The Earth Had Shook.

2019-09-24T17:33:00.001-07:00

We rejoin what's left of the ROD in the depth's of this place of Torag-worship as Dranas and Stug remain standing amongst the carnage befallen them. Stug utilizes a Life Staff on Volkorn who lay lifeless, beard full of green vomit-ichor. He immediately restores himself further via his own magic spells.

Stug finds the other monocle in Sweet's prison pocket and the party decides to carry Sweet Chuck's body as they progress forward. Dranas hears a sound and investigates a dark area but not before donning his trusty 'ol light cap and then cautiously presses on.

Beyond the darkened ingress, our 3 living adventurers find a wide expanse of a room that seems to have a walkway defined in it's center. The sides of this walkway are aligned with large sculptures of earth elementals, 4 on each side. At the end, a podium with a hammer sat atop it and following that, an even larger elemental statue, seemingly standing guard in it's shadow.

The party continues further.

Volkorn feels the unmistakable seduction of destiny as he bravely steps closer, reaches out and confidently grips the handle of this unknown weapon with his calloused dwarven hands. He knew that despite any consequences that may arise, Dranas had dared him to do it, and it was therefore, inevitable. Those consequences would soon be realized as initiatives are rolled, and all 9 statues begin to animate and it's obvious to everyone in the room; they hate Guitar Hero. It's just clickclickclickclickclick.

Stug rages. The elementals close in. Volkorn thinks quickly and commands the party to focus on the largest foe while he erects walls to keep the mob at bay. An elemental conjures the spirit of rabbit within him and jumps to grab Volkorn. It succeeds but finds himself quickly grasping at air when Volkorn dimensional hops away. Volkorn then summons air elementals to assist and an overwhelming force from a tactically focused ROD brings the beast to his knees, and then down, on top of Dranas. The remaining enemies fall one by one until the last takes Sweets and his few possessions under the earth and effectively leaves him buried. Amongst the death and destruction caused, Volkorn discovers and acquires a book. He then drops it. Dranas quickly picks it up, dusts it off, peruses a few pages, and exclaims "this is the gospel of Torag!" Volkorn then quickly takes it back and stores it in his bag.

Daryl awakes in the care of Ronda. He begs her for water and scrys the party immediately. Her persuasions do not go unnoticed but fail to match a debt owed that Daryl feels towards his compatriots and new family. He makes a promise to return to Ronda as Daryl teleports back into the mortal fray.

A familiar Chromatic Red Dragon breathes fire across enemies at Volkorns command as Stug releases a volley of trips and Dranas screams for help. Teamwork wins the day as the party climbs atop Karstim who takes a brisk victory lap to celebrate the sound victory over all their foes.

Karstim soon fosters a healthy suspicion as the behavior of his now longtime friends, feels wrong. An adoration from Volkorn that has prior-to never been hinted at, a lack of "cunt" in Dranas's speech, and the assertion that our previous goals are no longer of concern to any of them. They impress upon Daryl, after landing in the middle of town back at Sangra, that they would rather pursue dreams of working a bar in town and retire from the life of an adventurer in favor of safety and relaxation. Volkorn then shocks Daryl by imprinting on his sperm and asking for her hand in marriage. Dranas expresses a strong desire to make what is known as a "Champion Turkey". A new location for Cayden's Beard appears to be underway. Volkorn successfully transfers the soul of Nautz into a clockwork songbird just like we had planned! This is amazing!

...

Volkorn, Dranas, and Stug use the chaos stone to scry Daryl. They find him; motionless, amongst gravel, dead.

MP3

The Tenacious Temple Of Torag Or Death Comes To Those Who Adventure

2019-09-09T20:51:00.001-07:00

Further! Further they descend into what once was Dwarven mines, now quickly becomes something of far greater concern. Inscriptions on the wall tell a visual tale of giant earth elementals that roam the land, worshiping Torag, "Father of Creation", a deity whom this temple bears service to. His symbol; an upside-down hammer.

The Temples walls and floors are peppered with various fissures from which delicate crystals burst forth. Crystals that glow from light refracted through the fissures, owing sources unknown (outside? or a hidden light source perhaps?). They prove brittle and worthless in coin as they crumble at light-touches like sugar.

The party is immediately descended upon as they enter. A surprise attack round greets a battle-ready party as Stug takes out his whips, Dranas emits a holy aura (the best aura ever), Daryl conjures an aqueous orb, Sweets struggles to..., and Volkorn probably did something too. The party was in good spirits as it seemed things were going to turn out pretty great!
Things would in fact, turn out, decidedly NOT great.
The first round of combat saw Stug take a fat rip of green-fog that causes him to run from battle, fleeing a hallucinatory snake in his hand, SweetChuck attempting to... , and Daryl confidently chugging a mysterious glowing potion that cost him his life, many times. As Daryl lay dying, Dranas does his best to keep him from danger and continues the offense.

Eventually Daryl is able to teleport himself to Caidens Beard. With what strength he can muster, then drags himself upstairs and gives thanks to Lady Luck or Caiden himself as Ronda finds him and takes him in. Stug returns and the other Revengers do not let up, but are met with much cumber as Volkorn finds himself mysteriously in an acidic fog and eventually succumbs to his wounds after a flurry of attacks. SweetChuck meets a similar fate as his attempts to... in battle prove fatal.

Dranas is able to finish the battle, kill the plant, and discover, then pull the lever that reveals the next area.

So, can the party restore itself to its former glory? Will they descend further? Will SweetChuck.... ?
Find out answers to these questions and more.
next time.

and remember the moisture.

MP3

Dream Keeper Volkorn And The Dreams Of Dranas Or Immaterial Minors Menace Mineshaft Miners

2019-08-27T15:56:00.004-07:00

The guys go to Daryl's mansion. Matt is loud as hell while he turns Daryl's mansion into Hell's Kitchen. Volkorn inquires about what it might require to alchemize some strong acid.

Dranas has a dream that seems to be a bad omen involving his decisions regarding driders while Ken watches baseball (1hr 23m in about). Dranas explains his dreams to Volkorn and Volkorn gains +1 aliases: The DreamKeeper.
Caiden is revealed to have lead Sweets back to the party and Stug notices that a scroll in his possession is rapidly changing colors.

(~1:48)Dranas: I'll have sex with it too if it's cute

The party heads off to the mines near Sangra.

They keep hearing explosions but must wait for the right dwarven NPC's to arrive.
While waiting they are introduced to Chad who is a poet and a painter.
Volkorn responds that he is a ghost cleanser, and barkeep and king of Caidens Rise.

The party then meets:
Clarence Dropbottom who comes from a long line of prostitutes.
"Explosives are going off on the NE side" he tells Volkorn, but the keeper of dreams is momentarily preoccupied by a 5lb ruby chunk and a 3lb sapphire chunk. He pockets both.
Clarence exclaims that nobody alive has seen it attack anybody, insinuating that no one lives to tell the tale. He then speculates that the people of Sangra don't seem to like their kind and treat them poorly.

The gunpowder gets wet again. it seems like sabotage.

(~3:08), that laugh.

The party catches glimpses of the ghost, a little child laughing in the mines.
Daryl pulls his magic muscle, becomes fatigued, and Sweets gets naked then approaches.
Dranas tries to speak with it but the child runs and falls 35ft into a hole. The floor below him is rusted concrete tile. His body lay lifeless upon it, crippled. Dranas becomes angelic and floats down to heal him but the boy is ground beef and cannot be made steak once again.

The party encounters black goop that they make swift work of and Stug offers the idea of setting fire to the next room prior to entering. It pays off as the party discovers a lever on the wall after killing the inhabitants of a trap set to protect the lever from being found.

MP3

Social Salad in Sangra or Daryl's Dark Dowager Date

2019-08-10T20:13:00.000-07:00

Revengers arrive at Sangra!

A nearby bar quenches their thirst for ale but a waitress overhears some nefarious plans for domination, then Daryl plays it off as LARP'ing. They notice some BBB's sitting down a few tables over. Daryl and Volkorn attempts to listen in on their conversation and realize they're talking about establishing an orphanage in Sangra. Volkorn meets Trisha while Dranas strikes up a conversation with 4 Dwarven Miners. They discuss their workplace in conversation and reveal a ghost problem plagues the mines they work. Dranas offers to look into the problem on the next eve because tonight, they wish to attend a sex-party hosted by the Curator.

The Curator welcomes one and all to an extravagant home with many rooms, all available for use to attendees and very much intended to house carnal satiation. Each of the party indulges in the offered services except for Daryl who turns invisible, acts weird, and generally creeps out some of the guests, but the Curator allows him to stay. Daryl eventually becomes bored and ventures out into the city to discover more of what he can about Sangra. He doesn't get far before he hears a beckoning from a nearby alleyway. Upon inspection it appears the alleyway is pitch black and ominously destroys a magically lit stone that he attempts to float into the darkness. Daryl makes a half-hearted futile attempt to let Volkorn know his whereabouts before stepping inside and being instantly teleported away!

Daryl finds himself at the door of Brunhilde, the fortuneteller, guided by the Earth, Gaia, and the Stars. Happy to lay eyes upon Daryl she welcomes him into her small home. She explains that she knows he is a dragon, a "pure-hybrid", and is happy to be able to see such a thing in her lifetime. Daryl takes a seat and she tells his fortune.

You will be involved in a great calamity and will lose the ones you love. Many will burn. Death will be fire.
You can choose to prevent it.
If you stay with the short one with a hammer, he will eventually restore your brothers form.

She then directs Daryl to a book on a nearby table. Daryl opens it to find a special card, and a glowing red vial that he is instructed to drink when the time is right. Brunhilde then informs Daryl of a new map location before wishing him fortune in his journeys. With that Daryl is teleported back to the alleyway and he heads back to the Curators party.

After a quick reunion in the hall outside his room, Volkorn and Dranas are rudely interrupted by both Stug and Daryl as they loudly burst into the room and demand their attention. Daryl explains the encounter with Brunhilde, the fortune, the items, what the future holds for his brother. Volkorn begrudgingly ponders this news as the party sunsets in relaxation and plan to travel with the Dwarven Miners on the morrow to the haunted mines outside Sangra.

Volkorn; the bringer of choice or Kingdoms are built upon the charred bodies of the resistance

2019-07-21T13:56:00.000-07:00

Has Gaelic been convinced of the party's goals? Our favorite morty-like ranger continues to have 2nd thoughts about the deeds he's instructed to be complicit with under the guidance of Stug and the ROD. Is it right to kill our comrades in war? they are part of the Tor'Ar army like us!
Stug reassures him that there is a conspiracy to unveil and unveiled it shall be.

The party then discusses their next plan of action. Do they hunt the shards? do they even know their locations? Although some locations are known, the party decides that it's time to return to Cayden's Beard and make use of their Scrying pool located within.
Volkorn sees to the business duties of the bar but a shift in management styles causes Dalton to realize that his morals are misaligned with where this place of business is intending to go. The party is sad to part ways with Dalton but does not mourn long before looking to the future of the business.

Daryl is unexpectedly blessed when he happens upon Ronda (and her new muscles) at Cayden's Beard. A lovely and heartfelt reunion ensues and includes great food, a secret room, swanky music, and a Potter-like dragon ride around the area.

Upon much reflection and introspection, Volkorn addresses the party, states that he would like to become a king, and asks the party to swear fealty to him. The party responds with a firm and resounding "i guess... whatever." Volkorns confidence is boosted by this and harbingers the same decision to the farmers of the land surrounding the bar. Unsurprisingly the farmers are significantly LESS happy than the party was about this turn of events, but the alternatives that Volkorn offers are decidedly less desirable, as they involve much more fire and death than the first option of swearing fealty. Thus begins the kingdom of Cayden's Rise.

Decisions, Confusion, Lovemaking, Farming, Cooking, AND MORE! On this episode of...

STORY TRUMPS RULES.

mp3 link

Shut the Fuck up

2019-07-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

You're getting WiFi.

Gaelic's Apprehension or Dranas enters the Twilight Zone

2019-07-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

The guys torture a wizard.
then they go hunting for Karstim food.
some dude named Cloudkicker?

5 dire bears
27 dmg

Gaelic, undercover paladin

Fast mount.

now Dranas has the monocle
now SweetChuck has monocle

in 3 weeks we res Malo.

Dranas went twilight, Gaelic and SweetChuck too
Light snow, clouds
Matt makes a stupid joke about ceilings.

and more!

Ancient Secrets of Norwich or Undead Hill Giant Murder Disco

2019-06-29T18:21:00.003-07:00

We begin our session with Daryl attempting to defeat Nega-Daryl once again to hopefully attain his mother's gift. Daryl forgot he has spell resistance in Karstim form so this fight went very different. Once ND was defeated Daryl found an icy town village with dragon statues called Norwich.

Dranas is sucking titties.

Daryl (in Karstim form) begins to explore Norwich and finds that it is very cold and a gazebo in the middle of town is made of ice. magical ice. ice that never seems to melt, despite giving off a cold steam. D's then discovers a cathedral with a large dragon statue atop it's roof. below is inscribed a depiction of 2 eggs, one on the left and one on the right. There is also a depiction of Apsu giving birth to various deities. a sign is displayed on the front of the cathedral that reads: Norwich Church of Apsu

The cathedral is cloudy with ice and ivory. There is an area big enough for a full size dragon to enter the Narthex. Pews seem to be arranged such that humans are meant to sit to the left while dragon-sized pews are located to the right.
"Dernbach, Karstim" is written on a door. Upon entering the room, Karstim finds a fine adamantite set of armor and a ring that seem to be the gifts his mother intended for him. He also discovers a mysterious picture of an unknown girl (Una for now). She seems to be a daughter of the Karstim family. Has Daryl found a long lost sister?

The boys teleport to the library under the Oasis.

Sweets and Gaelic aren't there but Volkorn uses this opportunity to scold Dranas after learning the cost of their Black Lotus collection. They brought 3 jars with 3 bulbs of Lotus in each one... but at what cost? Volkorn is aware that entire villages have been ravaged by these creations.

SweetChuck is scryed only to be found participating in a ménage à trois with 2 goblin "ladies of the night".

The Party teleports there and Stug Immediately:

finds snuff

snuffs the snuff

breaks the table

begins to quickly repair the table.

A weird orgy ensues.

Post-Coitus, the party remembers they still haven't accounted for Gaelic's whereabouts and scry him as well but are shocked to find him being questioned by BrokeBack bandits! A super top secret highest clearance stealth tactical mission quest assignment began as the team teleported in and successfully extracted the HVT (High Value Target) from the Hot Zone without detection.

Now that the Party is complete again, Volkorn scryes the undead hill giant army we've seen once before, when searching for Zarkan and the team forms a 2-step plan.

1. spell cast.

and

2. beat ass.

Volkorn and the boys then proceeded to interrupt an unexpecting wizard's lunch to turn the quarry into a murder-disco as Dranas paralyzed the caster and Karstim went to town on some hill giants.

The wizard was found to be dressed in a reddish robe with a golden necklace. He also had a Mantle of Faith, and an Evil Wand of Protector.

What will happen next time? Will Karstim get to satiate his hunger? are there more giants? Tune in next time to find out. or not. whatever. we have like 2 listeners on this bullshit and one of them is me. we have more party members than 2 for Cayden's sake. like... really?

Nega-Daryl: your dragon concierge or Dranas's Daddy Dojo

2019-06-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

Picking up in Cinocard, Daryl finally takes his last sip of Mother's Milk and begins to transform before the magically sealed entrance below the Chum Bucket. Volkorn assists by teleporting them both away to a safe clearing. The Kobayashi Maru ensues and we cut to a heartwarming display of fatherly love as Dranas catches up with his kids. SweetChuck teleports back to The Nice One Inn located in Kobm and has some ale.

MP3 link

ChumBucket Fight Club or Alliances and Alignments

2019-06-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

The boys arrive to Cinocard, a town in the northlands inhabited by humans that transmorph their skin to dragonscales. Steeds were left at the Chum Bucket and Bill agrees to lead us on a tour of the history of this place.

MP3 Link

Such a beautiful night out or Scorpions?! Wait! Elemental's too?!!

2019-06-07T12:17:00.001-07:00

After Stugs return to the group, they were quite alarmed. As Stugs appearances have changed into more feline characteristics. After some time convincing the group, they are able to quit questioning the changes and banter on about if they should take the mansion or not. Gailic decides to make food as the group makes a decision. Eventually they decide to leave the mansion behind in Zeebo's, uh, capable hands? But he is happy in doing so reassuring the group that he will take care of the villagers and waves them off.

Daryl decides it is time to take form of a Dragon. Everyone decides they will climb on Daryls back. Stug calls out Ursa to ride as well. As they can tell there is not enough room for everyone. So after playing musical chairs the group decides who will ride who and Volkorn will be whisked away in Stugs strong champion arms. They fly until night starts to fall as they overpass a small quarry of Boulders and rubble.

Dranas heads out to get items for a fire to cook outdoors. Daryl scoffs at the idea of living like a peasant and creates his mansion door in aboulder. The rest follow but Dranas is stubborn and stays outside. Making sweet bread to eat and a good peaceful night to himself in his tent.

The group inside the mansion was having a great time. Food and drinks. Gailic dances with the mansions servants. Volkorn is perched on the couch watching the show and having a good time with the vibes. Stug decides to sleep, and eventually Daryl as well. As the party goes on in the living room something outside has a scent of something sweet in the air.

Back outside to Dranas as he sleeps, there is a spike that drops through his tent! Almost piercing his head! He rolls to his side. Then another spike comes down, narrowly missing his torso. Dranas leaves his belonging to run inside, naked. Gailic dancing with flour coated unseen servants and Volkorn just watching, Dranas bursts through the door! Yelling about how there is giant scorpions! They are battling 2 giant earth elemental's too! Trying to catch his breath.

He is invited to dance but refuses. Stating that his stuff is out there and maybe they might want to fight them? Volkorn does not care for this. Neither does Gailic. Stug and Daryl wake up from the commotion, and head to the window to see out the door. Sure enough there was giant beasts battling it out! After long talks about fighting or not the group takes a step outside, only for there to no longer be any fight going on and the two gargantuan sized scorpions are lifeless on the ground.

Gailic starts to break away the tail plating to reach its poison sack to harvest. He is able to do this cleanly. Volkorn decides he will try the other but cracks at the shell. He eventually asks Gailic for help. To which he complies and gives him some nice tips on harvesting poison a bit safer. Dranas is stabbing at the shell of the scorpion and it is quite durable. He asks Gailic if he can have the Scarab that he broke off earlier. He complies.

After harvesting the group Decides the trek onward to their chosen destination. What awaits then? Only time can tell.

Such a beautiful night out or Scorpions?! Wait! Elemental's too?!! - MP3

Cobras Are Blood Thirsty Or How Do I Zip-line?!

2019-06-06T22:10:00.004-07:00

Here we continue The Cobras mission to eradicate the Kobolds! Heading to the base of the mountain Stug assesses his groups ability to get up to the top where they believe an entrance may be. Teeger drinks a potion and heads up the mountain, undetected by the animals on its pass. The rest of the group goes up the steep side. After some struggling, and taunting from Drezban, the group makes it to an entrance. They head on into this cave where they eventual come up behind a Kobold sitting on the ledge with his lovable pet Mountain Lion. Teeger sneaks up on the kid and kills him instantly, the dog starts to howl but is also killed.

Talia searches the body to discover a weird contraption that she deduces will help with the zip-line. Teeger heads down first, to a small home on a cliff side within the hollow mountain. She peers in to see 2 more Kobold kids watching their Grandmother cooking. The rest head down, but Talia tries to use thew new item to help Zip-line. This is very slow as she is new to this device. Since Stug did not drink a pot a wolf started to howl. Teeger heads in, murdering the residence of this home. Then continue down to the next level attached to the Zip-line, but Teeger is still slowly making her way with her new device.

Teeger takes lead with the rest following. As they asses the next home Drezban tells Teeger he has an idea. For her to kick open the door and move away. She complies, and as she does Drezban sets off chained lightning killing 4 Kobold children. They continue their mayhem and Teeger figures out her Zip-Line Device, and is able to kill the Mountain lions that were starting to how alerting others. They keeps heading down killing people on one platform after another. Stugs eyes where caught by a nice house in the middle with a small pond and heads off on his own.

Stug meets a man claiming to be the leader of the Kobolds. They bot sit down at the pond with their feet bathing. They talk about what is going on. The Dragon, and how they became friends and depended on each other. He pleaded for Stug to spare the children at least, they are innocent. Stug used teleport to move behind him, telling him this is nothing personal and rips out his throat. He takes some items from this man and goes to meet his team.

They eventually get to the bottom where they see a large group of kids. Stug asks the group what their mission is, and that it is to eradicate those attacking the village. He asks the Cobra's to wait and leaps down whipping out his weapon he was granted from his wish. Turning one to stone, making another pop from poison. He eventually yells for the kids to leave and informs The Cobras their mission is complete.

The group head back into town. Many applauded them. Teeger was not happy with Skeeters attitude. Eventually she knocked him down and kicks him until he throws up. They eventually go off to celebrate at the bar as Stug heads off to release the the dragon. The ground rumbles and shakes. Teeger knows what has happened.

The group head back to Tor'ar in the morning. Teeger remembers her promise about the Stable master. She waits for the proper time for night to fall as she watches her prey. Studies his movements. Then she finds the opening. Shadow stepping into the barn to grab the Stable Master and beat him and releasing her rage to stab and slice him to death. His final words where garbled by blood, "You Orcish B---" as he passed to the afterlife

Cobras Are Blood Thirsty Or How Do I Zip-line?! - mp3

We are the Cobras or Where is our leader...

2019-06-06T21:11:00.003-07:00

Here our main adventure takes a backseat to Stugs side adventure. We meet The Cobras.

Stug

Talia

Drezban

Clark

Teeger

This tale begins in a Mash tent at the army section ot Tor'ar. The group discusses their mission, to eradicate the Kobolds that are attacking a farmland to the South East. They are informed this is essential because a big war is in their future. After much debate and no sight of their commanding office Stug they decide to set off. But first want to make a stop to get some essentials. They head off to get some horses where Teeger gets into it with the Stable master for calling her an Orcish Bitch. After much back and forth the group eventually decides to take some horses. But Teeger vows to never forget this dishonor.

The group then head to the supplies tent to get items for their journey. But they are informed they are in need of a acquisition forms which they do not have. Teeger see's items that she is wanting. She decides to hop over the counter and intimidate this young lady into stepping aside as she takes what she wants. After pillaging the supplies tent the group heads off to the their destination.

Along the way Drezban and Talia get into it with verbal jabs with each other. On the eve where they decide to set up camp, Dranas decides to Piss in Drezban's Tent. Drezban replies with creating a wall and spewing out Acid Fog. After some time they stop their petty squabble. After some time they hear a familiar noise. The Broke Back Bandits comes up. Teeger tosses up the Broke Back hand signs. They pull over and greet each other. As they do there is a pile of kids that hop out of the back of the wagon. They talk about the past time where a Sect of Broke Back Bandits where attacked and kids where murdered. Some of those children where Teeger's supposedly.

After a night the group wakes up with The Broke Back Bandits gone. The group continues on to their mission. They eventually get to town to hear the sounds of battle. The Cobra's take action! As they do they hear the Kobold's screaming in fear that they are trying to really kill them. They knock one out and notice he had dull rusted weapons. The others were able to run away.

Teeger ask's for rope and ties up the unconscious Kobold to the fence, with his limbs tied to the horses. After some back and forth the Kobold called Teeger an Orcish bitch. Which the only logical Teeger reaction is to have the horses walk away pulling the limbs from the Kobold until they tear out allowing him to bleed to death. But before he does, he yells out "She will be ours again!"

Afterwards they see Stug behind them just watching. He greats his group and then the guy they helped save, Skeeter has them head to the bar.During which Stug eventually heads of to check around seeing carts of food coming from a mine. He sinks into the group to get closer to where he eventually finds a dragon chained up and being whipped and yelled at to produce a variety of different foods. It seems this dragon has a peculiar ability. They do seem to feed the dragon gold, but with a better look it would seem the dragon is malnourished. Stug shrouds himself to talk to the dragon. How she was with the kobolds injured and that her name was Petra. She talks about how the humans took her from the kobolds who were trying to help her heal. But now she is chained up to be beaten and forced to make food. She gets tased by her handler for the night and Stug heads away.

What will come of this information Stug discovered? How will he lead his team? What will become of the Kobolds? Only time will tell.

We are the Cobras or Where is our leader... - MP3

So this is Gnarlwind or Dranas the Carpenter!

2019-06-06T19:51:00.001-07:00

Our adventurers continue on their path to the north at the guide of Daryl. Where they come across a village. They venture out to check on the new village before them. They come across the town of Gnarlwind. A village of Orcs. Some appearing to just stare into the sky while some tend the farmlands surrounding the village. There is kids playing in the streets running around with goggles. Volkorn inquires about these goggles. The kids give him a pair that smears black oil over his eyes. As he tries to wash this off the oil just smears all over his face.

Eventually they meet the Elder of Gnarlwind. To which they discover the old man is blind. Daryl keeps his gaze on the Staff perched behind the Elder. After small conversation the group is invited to stay and feast with them through the night but work would be required for payment. Volkorn promises Dranas to fill the labor needs of tending some farms and fixing the roof of a church.

Dranas heads to his duties; Volkorn, Daryl, and Gailic head to the feast and partake in the fun. The crew drinks and eats as the sun sets. Volkorn decides to check in on Dranas. Leaving Gailic behind at the feast who is heading off with a couple other Orc's for some intimacy. Volkorn sees Dranas on the roof replacing the broken roof section. Volkorn attempts to use his large hammer to help but Dranas stops him from the destructive chance. Daryl sends his unseen servant to Volkorn with nails and hammer. Volkorn grabs a nail, but the unseen servant drops them all thinking he was taking all. Volkorn shoves the unseen servant off the roof. As they continue the repairs they hear monks training the the back of the church.

Afterwards the group goes back to the feast. Eventually the group heads to sleep but Dranas decides to head into the woods, where he heard rumors of tigers. He is adamant about bathing in a river and believes there to be one near. As he heads into the woods he comes to a strange opening in the woods. With his guard dropped a group of Tigers pounce at their opportunity. Dranas backs into the opening only to be raked across the eyes, permanently blinded. He walks back even more only to realize the tigers are no longer pursuing. At this point Dranas feels some type of acid attack smacking him.

Dranas messages Vokorn asking for help. Volkorn wakes up Daryl in hope to get find Dranas faster. As they are flying Daryl asks Vokorn where Dranas is. Volkorn replies " He said he is in the woods." Daryl expresses his disappointment. Dranas remembers he only has teleport scrolls in his backpack and grabs one to teleport back to town. He eventually messages Volkorn of his return. Dranas was healed but Volkorn says there is nothing he can do today about his eyes.

After sleeping through the night. Dranas goes to get his improved Armor that has the bear rug attached to the inside. Volkorn also informs Dranas that the Elder invited him to cook with the other Orcs. Dranas complies and introduces his delicacies to the village. The women give him a gift of white powder.

Eventually the group take off after the meal but start to decide how they want to head to their destination north.

So this is Gnarlwind or Dranas the Carpenter! - MP3

The Tale Of The Jovians or Hey Was This The Gear You Wanted?

2019-03-17T13:25:00.002-07:00

The adventurers made their way to the hill. They looked around for anything that could be there as to why this was marked on Malos map. Stug decides to do his Oread thing and travel through the ground to find a contraption that raised up through the hill allowing the RODsS to enter and lower themselves into the hill.

They make their way down and notice the walls have a large mural etched into it leading all through out this place. They make their way to the bottom level that the elevator is able to take them. The notice there is 2 gears missing from the walls and appear to be keyholes. Dranas decides to go back up a level to check out the rest of this place. Dranas discovers a giant angelic construct that does not react to him. He noticed there is a gear inside the construct with a Key in it. He bashes the construct until he can get the key gear out of it. He eventually comes back down with no other path to go and places the gear into the slot which popped the key out. he is able to turn it and the cave in front of them they hear noise of something moving. The right half of the cave floor risen up with a quickness. He kept turning the key to lower then raise the floor with confusion... After some time Dranas decides to go back upstairs when the floor is risen.

He meets another construct that does not move. He destroys this as well to get the key gear out. He comes back down to input the gear and turn the key. Unknowing to the group, Daryl is hanging out at the bottom of the cave looking for any clues. As the floor raises Daryl gets caught in the floor as it rises. He is flattened with the cave ceiling.

Dranas lowed the floor, and sSug goes to find Daryl's items and grabs a chunk of Daryl.

Daryl is visited by Malo in his afterlife regrettably requesting that Daryl goes back to the world as he is still needed for something later. Daryl decides that since this is not real he does want to return. He accepts the spell and returns back to his humanoid form.

Dranas turns the key once more. They make their way into the final chamber where they meet the last remaining memory of the Jovians, his name he had forgotten and only wished to be called Jovial. He lets them know that the only way in to the final chamber is to take his life to pull out the key gear. He tells the RoDsS about his ancestors. He warns them of the dangers that are stored behind the wall. Dranas and Volkorn have a serious conversation if they could even do this to see whats behind the door. As they discuss you hear screaming, and the sound of gears grinding. They turn around and they notice Jovial is flailing his arms at Stug as Stug is elbow deep inside Jovial trying to pull his gear out and gives it to Dranas.

The Tale Of The Jovians or Hey Was This The Gear You Wanted? - MP3

Secret Secrets or The Map has Blue Dots

2019-03-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

Our adventurers continue on their journey but this time they have the power of a Mansion. Looking around and reminiscing in the past, the group notices a green orb. They are able to discover what would appear to be the 3rd Zeebo. Zeebo informed the group that he was created by the blood from the blood of 3 Sorcerer's; Zarkan, Teegle, and Malo. Daryl remembers what Malo done to him, take him blood and dropped it into the orb on the top floor. Daryl remembers that he is able to move the mansion.

As they are getting comfortable, Daryl notices some blue markings on the big map upstairs where he can control the house. He tells the group that he see's a marking. Eventually the rest of the group is able to see the blue dots that are marked by magic. Daryl decides to take off to the first dot.

While waiting to arrive at their destination, Volkorn decides to get Gailic drunk. Gailic is not a fan of hard liquors, so dranas offers him some of his wine. This turns out to be the 3 penis wine. While partying Stug lets it slip that Ursa likes to drink also, without a second though Gailic lets Ursa drink from his cup. Stug attempts to stop her, but she has already drank half a mug. Nothing was left to do except watch the impending mis-haps of our dear Gailic.

Eventually the group arrives to one of the markins on the map but see no way in. Stug decides to go into the ground with his Oread abilities. There Stug notices some type of lift mechanism. The group is able to head down below. The enter a dusty yet elegant hall that is covered in a mural, showing the evolution of mankind. When they arrive to the bottom they are able to see humans become these other beings, clockwork constructs. To which lead to a great war of these gear like beings.

Dranas discoveres a gear missing and keyholes. he goes back top to notice constructs that are sitting still holding what appear to be gears with keys in them. Dranas, doing what he does best in these situations doesnt hesitate to not think and charge in! Come and find out the destiny of the RODsS.

Secret Secrets or The Map has Blue Dots - MP3

Pools of Scrying or Malos Moving Mansion

2019-01-18T18:59:00.000-08:00

The adventure starts off with some shopping and Stug going to check on his duties. Stug walks around and head to where he believes for his new crew to be. He met only one man named Gailic. Gailic was a nervous man with a rather boyish face and at times had a slight stutter. Stug dragged Gailic along back to meeting up with the RODss. Dranas went and had erotica with his spider woman.... we learn about the X card when things cross a line. He also pleaded with her to stop having the spiders from attacking and killing.

Volkorn, Daryl, and SweetChuck head off for some fun Scrying back in their Scrying room below the bar. The room still dirty Daryl discovers Volkorns idea of how to effectively Scrye...by placing his face into the Pool itself. The same pool that Daryl releases himself in pleasure and never cleans. Daryl Confused and with slight anger asks Volkorn what he is doing. Volkorn comes back up with goop slowly falling from his chin explains this is how you Scrye.

Dranas after trying to lay down the law heads off to the only place he believes can fix his armor. He is naked but inquires about new armor. As he peruses the wears he comes across a mankini elephant armor. The breastplate cuts off above his belly button like an 80s football jersey in highschool with elephants on the shoulders and a cod piece of an elephant.

After much shopping everyone meets up at Teegles Apartment. Stug introduces everyone to Gailic, Volkorn is quick to show his dominance. Slapping the hands of Gailic when he attempts to grab for food. Eventually the group continues to discuss their options of going to Malos home. They request that SweetChuck takes them to the true location of The Archives of Nethys. They make their way to the home where they enter and start to look into the home of the man in charge of training them.

The group starts to look around and find an green orb that they remember that Zeebo held when he was summoned. After much guessing at the command words eventually they stated "You have all you need!" in which a Zeebo was summoned. He explained that he is a being created by 3 Sorcerers. The group still looks around the top floor to see if anything interests them. There was a note on the back of a picture with coordinates. Malo said there was something left for him from his mother.

Stug getting bored with the travels decides we must stop Malos Home to test the strength of Gailic. In which Volkrons summons 2 beasts to attack Gailic. Gailic was quick on the draw and was able to Kill both monsters within a round. The group seems a little shocked and Stug approves after he see's Gailic pick up his non broken arrows.

Come on in and listen to the tales of RoDss.

Pools of Scrying or Malos Moving Mansion - MP3