Action Series:

BALLOON FIGHT

Hunt: Semi Common/Hard to Find | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $5-$15

Not my favorite game but a lot of people love this one. You’re a balloon-flying pilot flapping around from platform to platform, trying your best to knock down your other birdlike opponents. How? By landing and popping their balloons, duh! You are equipped with 2 balloons and once they’re gone *POP!* into the watery abyss you go!

If you get bored with the 1-player or co-op 2-player version of this game, there’s a game mode that’s a challenging side scroller to see how long you can keep afloat. Most gamers LOVE THIS GAME! I would rather play Joust since Balloon Fight is a dumbed down version of the Midway ostrich flying game… but a classic is a classic and just can’t be argued by one man… *grumble* fuck’n piece of shit…*grumble*

STARS: 5/5… Rube gives it a 1/5

CLU CLU LAND

Hunt: Hard to Find | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $10-$20

This one is a little weird. You play as Bubbles, a brave little bubble fish that swims around a maze, dodging sea urchins, and making gold coins appear. Your goal is to swim around, exposing all of the coins, which end up making a pattern/picture.

For NES’s first puzzle type game it is very fun but didn’t do too well as a launch title, making it kinda hard to find. Chances are that you won’t see a lot of these in the open market and might have to resort to ebay to fill the hole in your Black Box Collection. If you’re a puzzle fan, you’ll be in for a treat!

STARS: 4/5

ICE CLIMBER

Hunt: Hard to Find | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $5-$20

This is a true example of what I call a “GO FUCK YOURSELF!” game. Don’t let the cute polar bear with sunglasses on the box fool you. HE IS YOUR ENEMY! This game is HARD! You start as an Eskimo with a mallet trying to break ice blocks above you (in a mountain?) to jump to the next level. There’s tons of obstacles such as baby birds, fat yetis,, falling stalactites… but your worst enemy is the ice itself since it’s slippery as shit, causing you to fall through a hole and killing you. Oh, and did I tell you that it’s all timed. Your goal is to reach the top of the mountain, do a bonus round involving getting eggplants and catching a ride on a flying pterodactyl before your time is up… WTF?!?!?!?!?!

I really like this game; especially in 2-Player mode, which is almost impossible to coordinate any game plan to get to the top before your 40 seconds are up. 9 times outta 10 you or your friends will die due to either getting pushed off the ice by one another or one of you falling through the ice at the bottom of the screen as it scrolls up as the other player continues his upward journey. Eventually your friend will (oh and THEY WILL) throw his/her controller outta anger and tell you to GO FUCK YOURSELF! Not recommended for first dates.

STARS: 5/5 for you, but drops to 1/5 as your friend storms outta your house.

KUNG FU

Hunt: Common | Wii Download: No | Avg. Price: $1-10

One of the first in the long line of “I’m on a never-ending quest to save my girlfriend” NES games. You are Thomas, a black-belt Kung-Fu Master that must defeat 5 levels of flying fist foot fury to save his girlfriend, Sylvia from the sinister Mr. X. The graphics are pretty stale with very little variation of enemies… but you know what, WHO CARES?! As one of the first video game “beat‘em ups”, Kung Fu is a lot of fun.

Other than the challenging levels, I also enjoy the action packed 8-bit tune and sound effects, especially the BBBIIIIOOONNNGGGGG!! Followed by a haunting evil laugh when you lose a life. With two game options, two different levels of game-play, and 2-player function, Kung Fu is totally worth the hunt!

STARS: 5/5

PINBALL

Hunt: Common | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $1-$10

To be honest, it’s so basic that it’s boring and since you would play real pinball on a flat horizontal surface and this is a vertical screen video game, it just throws you off.

Not one thrill to be had… even the dancing penguins and special appearance by Mario on the bonus screen can’t save this game. You’ll play it once and just forget about it.

STARS: 1/5

SUPER MARIO BROS.

Hunt: Semi Common (See Below) | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $1-$10

This game is about… Who am I kidding? If you don’t know by now, then there’s something seriously wrong with you! One of the best games ever created by Nintendo. Great game play, graphics, and storytelling. Even the most skilled gamer that knows every enemy pattern and hidden secret will never get tired of playing this game.

Super Mario Bros. should be the most common game in the NES library, BUT you’re going to see more of the Super Mario/Duck Hunt Combos than any other NES Game Pak out there. Just from looking at your local flea market that you might get Black Box Blinded (Gamer equivalent of snow blindness) and miss a basic copy of SMB in the mix… but trust me, they’re out there. You just have to dig!

STARS: 11/5

URBAN CHAMPION

Hunt: Hard to Find | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $5-$15

Even though it might not be the first, for most gamers this was their first VS. Fighting game. The premise is quite simple; Beat the shit outta the other player, from block to block, until you knock him into an open manhole. Nothing simpler than that. I’m a big fan of this game but most gamers will find it boring within a couple of rounds. It might not be as flashy as Street Fighter or Tekken but that’s part of it’s charm… It’s just two guys from the neighborhood going at it. Who knows what started the bout? A girl? Owed money? Fake Celtics tickets? All you know is that it’s two average guys that are pissed about something.

Once in awhile you’ll have to dodge a thrown flowerpot from an apartment above, but other than that it’s your typical good old fashion street brawl! Even though it’s a little hard to find, it’s still considered one of those “Crappy NES games” by most and you should be able to find it somewhat cheap at a local garage sale.

STARS: 3/5

Arcade Series:

DONKEY KONG

Hunt: Common/Semi Common | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $10-$17

This one is definitely an arcade classic! Jump-man (aka Mario) needs to save his girlfriend Pauline from some circus ape gone rogue named Donkey Kong. That’s it. The story is really that simple.

Even though it’s missing one level (Pie Factory/Cement Foundry?), it’s exactly as enjoyable as the arcade version ever was.

STARS: 5/5

DONKEY KONG JR.

Hunt: Common / Semi Common | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $10-$15

Most NES fans do get thrown off by this game for two reasons. First, your big enemy is Mario… yeah that Mario. You play as Donkey Kong Jr. on a neverending quest to save his father! Second, in addition to going back and forth on platforms and dodging enemies, you have to climb vines/chains. Other than the levels being in the wrong order and missing some of the animated segways, DK JR plays exactly like its arcade version. It’s a very fun and still one of the Rubes favorites.

STARS: 4/5

DONKEY KONG 3

Hunt: Hard to Find | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $10-$20

Donkey Kong is awesome. Donkey Kong Jr. is pretty good. Donkey Kong 3 is… well… as a Donkey Kong game it’s “meh!” Why is Donkey Kong in a greenhouse and who the hell is Stanley? We want Mario! We Want Mario!! WE WANT MARIO!!! Anyway, the goal of DK3 is for Stanley, armed with a bug sprayer to defeat Donkey Kong and his army of deadly insects before they steal all of his plants. This premise makes for a lame Donkey Kong game but strip away the big ape and what you have something that is fun and challenging. I would definitely give this game a try.

STARS: 4/5

MARIO BROS.

Hunt: Common/Semi Common | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $10-$15

First let me address the #1 thing people notice when they play this Arcade Classic, WHY ARE THE CRABS AND FLIES MISSING A 1/4 OF THEIR BODIES? It beats the hell outta me. All I know is, after all these years, this game still rocks! Grab a friend, give them the second controller and play co-op, which starts as a friendly game and ends up as a good old fashioned game of “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

STARS: 5/5

POPEYE

Hunt: Semi Common/ Hard to Find | Wii Download: No | Avg. Price: $3-$15

Since I reviewed this game last month, I’ll keep it simple. This is one of my favorite games. Other than the Sea Hag not throwing bottles during the first round of 3 boards (Olive’s home, The city/docks, and Pirate Ship) it’s the exact same game you would find back in 80’s arcades. The only downside is that there still isn’t a jump button, which discourages a lot of gamers. During it’s launch, Popeye couldn’t compete with Donkey Kong and Super Mario Bros. and was a poor seller, making it a hard game to come by.

STARS: 4/5

Education Series

DONKEY KONG JR. MATH

Hunt: VERY RARE / SCARCE! | Wii Download: Yes | Avg. Price: $40-$75

Just a bad idea… mixing Donkey Kong Jr. with Math. BAD NINTENDO!!! BAD! Even if you want to play this game, to answer a simple math problem (A + B = 42) involves multiple moves of adding and subtracting just to get the right answer. It’s just a pain in the ass… but it could’ve been worse. Japan got Popeye Lingo as their Educational game. Since no one bought this launch title, it’s pretty hard to get and you probably won’t be seeing this at a garage sale.

STARS: 1/5

Robot Series

(NOTE: Will require an older model TV, ROB, and included accessories to play)

GYROMITE

Hunt: Common / Semi Common | Wii Download: No | Avg Price: $1-$10

You have a choice of two games. Game A involves you controlling Prof. Hector through his monster filled laboratory and disarming piles of dynamite before time runs out. Sounds simple until you have to use/control your Robotic Operating Buddy to move these gyromite pillars up and down. Good thing: if you time it right, you get to squish the following monster(s). Bad thing: if you time it wrong, you’re the one that gets squished… which happens 99% of the time.

Game B involves you moving the gyromites (via ROB) up and down as a sleepwalking Prof. Hector continues his journey across the lab. Most 80’s kids only played this a couple of times since it was such a pain to set up ROB, his accessories, and looking around the house for enough batteries to work the damn thing. Lucky you can still play this game with a second player, but only with a really good friend, since a friendly game of Gyromite can easily slip into an angry game of “GO FUCK YOURSELF.” Even though in theory this game should be easy to get, the inner game components (to save $$$, Nintendo used the same 60-pin Japanese version with a an American 72-pin adapter) were considered valuable in producing an America Adapter to play Japanese games on the NES… but still you should be able to get his for a couple of bucks.

STARS: 2/5

STACK UP

Hunt: SCARCE! | Wii Download: No | Avg Price: $40-$$$

Out of all of the NES Black Box Games, Stack Up is the worst and the hardest one to get. Since it is the only Black Box Game Pak that the Rube doesn’t have (yet) or hasn’t played, I had to base this review from other online reviews and gameplay. Stack Up looks like you can either play a game of Memory, Bingo, or a stacking game that involves you giving commands to ROB (via gamescreen) so he can restack the included colored tokens from point A to Point B in the right order.

Due to it’s oversized packaging, and extra game pieces/ROB attachments, it probably (at the time) cost a fortune. You can find this Game Pak on ebay, usually around $40 but for the true NES Black Box completest, the price for a full set in box will carry a hefty price tag ($200 min). This game looks like a total waste of time, but since I’ve never personally played it I honestly can’t give it a STAR rating.

STARS: ?/5

THE RUBE’S PRO TIPS

Other than Stack Up and Donkey Kong Jr. Math, the Rube wouldn’t spend more than $8-$10 tops on a Black Box Game Cart(s), but sometimes (out of frustration) you may have to rely on eBay, craigslist, or even a used game dealer for that quick fix. If this is the case I would definitely try to buy a lot/bulk sale, especially for you guys/gals starting out. Keep the ones you want and sell the rest.

Most used game shops will buy your Black Box Game Pak leftovers for $1 each so unless you need fast cash I would recommend saving one or two lot/purchase leftovers and sell them as a big lot on ebay. Start the auction at $1 per game (Ex: 20 games for $20). Usually the auction will go for $2-$3 a game, letting you break even and giving you more pocket change for the hunt.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 3…

STORY BY: Aaron Alexovich
COVER AND ART BY: Drew Rausch
COVER PRICE: $0.99 (digital)
RELEASE DATE: Now available

After a prolonged slumber in the darkest corners of time and space, Aaron Alexovich and Drew Rausch’s insane comic mini-series ELDRITCH! slithers its way back to the spotlight with issue #5 (Screams in the Pool House). When we last left our festering cast of otherworldly misfits, our heroine (Anya) had gone undercover to learn more about her brother Owen and the Order of Tongues, a crazy coalition of freaks bent on infecting the world with their black-tentacled madness. Meanwhile, the enigmatic neighbor from hell Ted Newbarn had finally manned up and decided to bring down the Order once and for all.

Instead of Mr. Newbarn, however, this issue finds Anya returning to foil Owen and the Order. The action also returns this time around as the freaks truly do come out and in spectacular fashion courtesy of Rausch with forms so twisted that I can imagine would only otherwise exist in minds of H.R. Giger and Clive Barker. We’re talking split rib cages that transform into monstrous mouth-holes, freaky spider-clown chicks, disembodied heads with tentacles… you get the picture. Even more frightening, though, seems to be Owen’s slow descent into the darkness of his newfound powers.

The story ends on a sinister note with Anya’s life hanging in the balance and with only one issue left to go in this mini-series it will be interesting to see how – or even if – she’ll make it out alive. Let’s not forget the noticeably absent Mr. Newbarn either, his grudge with the Order is sure to come to a head in the grand finale as well.

New to ELDRITCH!? To get caught up with our past reviews click here.

The Grey – Liam Neeson stuck in the woods fighting for his life by fending off packs of angry wolves with his bare hands.  Yes, I will see this movie.

Chronicle – The Facebook super hero movie.  I think this looks pretty good.  I’ve heard it’s good.  We’ll see if it’s awesome or just another Heroes.

Kill Bill Blu-Ray Double Feature – Blu-Ray double feature which may be the best way to see this movie.  I enjoy these movies, but I don’t necessarily want to watch them again.

The Devil Inside – This looks interesting. It looks like a “found footage” movie similar to The Last Exorcism. I can only see that it was released on DVD, not Blu-Ray, which seems odd.  That cover is creepy as hell.

Hell on Wheels The Complete First Season – I’ve stated before that I’m a big western fan. And this looks pretty good. However, I haven’t even watched Deadwood yet (I’m ashamed to admit that), so this will have to wait.  It’s about a Confederate soldier whose wife is murdered by Union soldiers and his path of vengeance to track them down.

Mortuary – True 1980s cheesy horror found here. Starring Bill Paxton.

My wife is very happy that The Rube is a Collector. I mostly collect Tiki Mugs, Hawaiian shirts, Old comics, 60’s monster magazines and toys, Disneyland/Haunted Mansion items, model kits, Hot Wheels, DVDs, Yo-Yos, watches, and how-to books. Our home looks like a well kept museum of Pop Culture. Everything is categorized, grouped, and has it’s own glass shelved area. Every inch of wall space is covered in “fine art” including an original Disneyland Haunted Mansion Attraction poster, signed James Jean and COOP! prints, Universal Monster posters and original art… and I’m still unpacking boxes from our big move back in July 2009. My wife recently giggled when I said with a worried frown, “Hunny, I can’t find all my Batmobiles!” while looking through a glass shelf of more than 20+ different Dark Knight vehicles.

Recently, while taking home an old NES for repair (for resale), I tested it out with one of my favorite games, Goonies II… and BOOM! I got hooked and now I collect games for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Like with any hobby collection, that hardest part was deciding where to start. If it’s model kits, you start with Aurora. If it’s monster magazines it’s usually Famous Monster of Filmland or Fangoria. But if it’s NES games that you seek, most collectors start the Black Box Games.

After the home console crash of the early 80’s (due to a flood of shitty games, shitty clone consoles, legal issues, and the lost desire to play another version of Pong), Americans were hesitant to spend their hard earned cash on another home game system. Nintendo, which was only known for Arcade games at the time, was confident that their new console would be a hit, but had to be smart about how to market it. So, they did their best to create something that looked nothing like an Atari or Pong console.

Nintendo’s finished US design resembled a top loader VCR (ask your parents kids) and with the name, Entertainment System, it would never be confused with previous home game failures. In 1985, the Nintendo Entertainment System was ready for it’s premiere at F.A.O. Schwarz’s flagship store in New York. All Nintendo had to do was address how they were going to market the games.

Previously, one of Atari’s big selling points (other than actually playing games at home) was the game’s box art. Atari invested a lot of time and money in the development of each game and wanted to make sure that it was going to sell. Most of Atari’s game labels and box art where just that; painted works of art. Though eye-catching, they NEVER really depicted what was truly represented… take Tennis for example:

The package above depicts a detailed scene of a couple playing tennis. Now, if you were a big tennis fan (try not to giggle), you would be really exited about this game. Just think how pissed you would be to find out it’s just a shitty version of PONG with graphics that in no way resemble the box art. Also, considering that the average price for this rip off was $30 (big money in the 80’s), you would probably stop buying Atari games all together… which was one of the many reasons that caused the demise of the home console. Nintendo wanted to avoid this miss-communication to new customers and went with a very honest and direct “what you see is what you get” marketing strategy.

As you can see, other than a little shading, the box art accurately represents the game play. This way the customer knew exactly what they were getting. The first 18 launch games were marketed in this fashion, with a black background to make the 8-bit artwork pop. Also in keeping with Nintendo’s plan of not using the words like “home console” and “videogame”, these were called Game Paks with a series of labels (Action, Arcade, Educational, Light Gun, Programmable, Robot, and Sports) that could be easily associated with genres such as those found on VHS tapes. This anti-game/pro-entertainment console marketing (plus the addition of ROB, Robotic Operating Buddy) killed the stigma of home video games and, in 1985, made Nintendo a household name. Nintendo continued their Black Box Game Pak line until 1987, in favor of more enticing artwork to boost sales.

Believe it or not there is a continuing dispute over the correct number of “black boxed” Game Paks. Most collectors will only acknowledge the original 30 Game Paks that have the black label which include the 8-bit artwork and “series” logos. Others say that it’s all 35 mentioned games on the “You’re Playing With Power” promotional poster that was included with the original NES console (see inset).

These five debated games are The Adventures of Link, Kid Icarus, The Legend of Zelda, Metriod, and PunchOut!. Some die-hard collectors will go so far as to include Hockey and Rad Racer, which were the last to include Nintendo’s genre/series logo on their label. Even though most collectors agree with the 30 Game Paks as the original black box games, this dispute still wages on everyday in on-line forums across the world.

Now, are any of these games worth playing (either on the original NES or as a WII download)? Well, you have to wait ‘til part 2 for the full review!

THE RUBE’S PRO TIPS

Most new NES collectors start with Black Box games because:

1) Most black box games are very common. Most were made in high numbers and can be found at flea markets, garage sales, thrift stores, and places that carry used video games.

2) Most black box games an inexpensive, usually around $1-$10.

3) Logically, obtaining 30 games (which most are very fun to play) is a very achievable goal… not accounting that there are over 750+ games for the NES, including unlicensed, Japanese translations, and even new titles (which are called Homebrews).

I had the chance to see the animated feature film myself (originally titled Brendan and the Secret of Kells) at the Dobie Theater in Austin, TX a few years back. It was my first and last time at the Dobie because shortly after it closed. I remember it well because the theater was located in a small arcade (mall) near the University of Texas campus along with a comic book store boasting a full-size replica of Han Solo frozen in carbonite and a place that still sold VHS tapes… it was pretty badass.

The Secret of Kells is centered around the adventures of a boy named Brendan who is the ward and nephew of Abbot Cellach (voiced by Brendan Gleeson who also starred in 28 Days Later and played Mad Eyed Moody in the Harry Potter films), the leader of a small village called Kells. The abbot is obsessed with the completion of a large wall that is under construction to keep out barbarians, Vikings, and other unsavory types.

Things start to go amiss when a new face shows up in town and turns Brendan’s attentions away from working on his uncle’s project. Brendan is soon on his first adventure beyond the walls of his village, running errands for the newcomer, during which he encounters hungry wolves and creatures of Irish myth: Celtic pagan gods and “fae,” some of which are mysterious and friendly while others hostile and terrifying.

Aesthetically, The Secret of Kells is beautifully crafted, and with the exception of the Flash and 3D scenes, it is all hand drawn on paper and filmed on pegboard. There are even scenes that appear to be watercolors, colored pencil, others paper collage, and pen and ink. One of the most remarkable aspects of the film are the transitions from being 2D – and quite graphic in nature – to having less subtle and more obvious 3D elements. The character designs are also amazingly simplified and remind me of Samurai Jack or Disney’s Mulan. The color palette emotes with saturated golds and deep greens when the pace is light-hearted and fun, but can quickly change to dreary greys, blacks, cobalt blues, and reds when it starts to get scary or violent. Check out this clip from the movie where Brendan battles an ancient serpent in the style of Harold and the Purple Crayon.

My few criticisms are that Christen Mooney’s (Aisling, sounds like “Ashley”) voice acting is a bit stiff at times, but perhaps it’s just that her character hasn’t had to talk to anyone in a long time. Then there were the Norsemen who were just gold-craving, killing machines. They did their job, but they were more of a force of nature than actual characters. That might have been the point, but one thing that can help a good movie become a great movie is an awesome villain.

All that said, if the sheer curiosity of the “secret” isn’t enough to make you watch it, you should know that back in 2009 it was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature (UP! ended up winning it that year). Pretty impressive for an Irish-French-Belgian feature film by two relatively unknown co-directors!

#5) Mother (The Avengers)

Okay, so how can you start a list about horrible mothers? How about being a man called Mother? Yup! There is a guy named Mother in a British spy TV series (later adapted to an awful movie) called The Avengers (sorry, no Hulk here). He was a fat, cigar smoking, wheelchair-using British government agent who led the spy organization for a period but… I don’t care if it is a “codename” for a guy who works for a secret organization! He’s a man who’s “codename” is Mother! Think of how traumatizing that could be to the children!

#4) Mother Brain (Metroid)

Would you like to have an alien brain for a mother? I didn’t think so, especially if that mother spawns parasitic creatures that will drain you like a sponge in a pool party. Mother Brain is that kind of monster mother, the one that will send its kids to do her dirty job in order to spread her evil will across the galaxy. She may sound more like an intergalactic ant queen, but after seeing her in action on Captain N we’re pretty sure she is every bit a horrible mother as she is a monster.

#3) The Evil Stepmothers (Disney’s Snow White and Cinderella)

Speaking of monsters, sometimes the worst offenders are wolves in sheep’s clothing… or at least sheep skin boots! The women collectively referred to as “Evil Stepmothers” from the Disney universe have really left an imprint of mistreatment and fashionable evil that has endured for years. At the top of that list, The Evil Queen from Snow White for her never-ending hatred and Lady Tremaine from Cinderella for that cold stare that can make any living soul tremble in despair. What was it that Disney had against stepmothers anyway?

#2) Mom (Futurama)

Known only as “Mom” this cartoon hag is rich as hell, the most important woman on future-earth AND probably one of the most soulless creatures spawned from the anus of hell itself. Owner and CEO of MomCorp, Futurama’s Mom is a shriveled, homely woman with seemingly unlimited resources and three sons that she constantly uses as literal whipping boys. She slaps them, insults them and kicks them around like garbage, and yet in the blink of an eye she can twist every word and action to make the public believe she is a saint. If Robot Devil had a mistress, it’d be this horrible hag.

#1) Baba Yaha (Hellboy)

A hideous witch from the Scandinavian culture, the mere sight of Baba Yaga is enough to make most young men to lose any lust for women. I mean she is UG-LY. This is not Baba Yaga. So ugly in fact that the mere sight of her is said to scare travelers to death! It has been suggested that she may be mother of Rasputin, which might explain much of the mad monk’s life choices. As if these credentials aren’t enough, Yaga snags the #1 spot on account of her tendency to devour her victims (including children!) and use their bones as part of her fence. That’s one fence where if the frisbee goes over it stays over!

A monstrously good mash-up of a Liquid Television short and Return of the Living Dead, the story kicks off by introducing our morose protagonist, Milton, still in a state of shock from the loss of his family and home due to an unexplained “natural disaster.” We’re also introduced to Milton’s neighbors, the sweet-natured Betsy and her obnoxious brother Russel whose vocabulary includes “Smell ya later” “Chillin” and “Barforama.” He’d be make a pretty cool strange kid… if he wasn’t such a girl-beating prick.

Meanwhile, through the magic of television, we learn that giant robots have been reportedly attacking cities all across the world. It doesn’t take long for these incidents to fall upon the residents of “Dirtville” in the most gruesome ways possible including dismemberment, disembowelment and evisceration (to name a few). Before long, familiar faces become mechanized distortions worthy of Cronenberg (Naked Lunch, The Fly) or Tsukamoto (Tetsuo: The Iron Man) and Milton (along with Betsy) find themselves standing alone against the horde of shambling, vomit-spewing husks.

While Callahan ends the story with zombie-smashing, splatter-worthy panache Milton’s tale feels unfinished. To the point, Callahan seems to intentionally leave the story open-ended, making the reader draw their own conclusions or perhaps keeping things open for a sequel (let’s hope so!). In the end, Rotting in Dirtville is a rowdy B-movie horror romp that packs tons of gore and great story-telling into one perfect bound book.

A hidden horror gem — Highly Recommended!

Actually, I did. This isn’t the first time I’ve ever heard about this theory. Growing up in the “Just Say No” generation I knew that all drugs were bad. Hey, if Pee Wee Herman says that drugs are bad then you know what, DRUGS ARE BAD! (Yeah, Pee Wee. See the video below… don’t worry, I’ll wait.)

We’ve all heard stories about famous actors, comedians, or musicians that end up wasting their whole fortune trying to cure that boredom, some end up losing their lives. One famous person that comes to my mind is John Belushi, he did drugs to relive his stress and boredom. Maybe if he just picked up a yo-yo we wouldn’t be stuck with a less-talented brother… just sayin’.

Yo-yo’s have actually been around for a long time, the earliest versions were found in the Philippines made out of terracotta discs and used as a hunting weapon. Another mention of this “device of amusement” dates back to 440 BC on a Greek painted vase. Records from that time period make mention of this strictly being a “boys toy” that was given up to the Gods as a sign of manhood — isn’t learning fun?! The device reached it’s first historic fad in the late 1700’s with English high society and Indian royalty, but as with all trends this toy faded into obscurity until the 1920’s when it resurfaced in California as a fun toy from the Philippines. In 1929 the first yo-yo factory came to be, producing 300,000 a day (FUCK!).

Seeing how popular this simple toys was, entrepreneur Donald Duncan bought patents and brought the yo-yo back to worldwide status. Duncan yo-yos were very popular with enlisted soldiers fighting overseas in the 1940’s and was commonly used in trade with other soldiers stationed in Japan. After WWII the yo-yo craze faded away until its reintroduction as an old time “American” favorite in 1962. The toys were now made in shinny colorful plastics instead of painted wood.

With a launch of a nation wide television ad campaign (including Yo-Yo Man segments on the Smothers Brother Comedy Hour), regional trick contests, and the debut of its Butterfly model, the Duncan* yo-yo was back as the nation’s #1 selling toy! Since then, there’s been many colors and styles including tie-dyes and glow in the dark yo-yos. In the mid-80’s some toy companies came out with models that used a ball bearing core and counterweights which added more spin time to perform complicated string tricks. In the 90’s some even added springs that would automatically return the yo-yo, but nothing beats the natural release and return feeling of your traditional Duncan yo-yo.

It may not be a surprise at this point to mention that the Rube collects yo-yo’s (man, I do collect a lot of things) and I have tons of wood, plastic, gyro, and limited editions. I have ones with logos (including the official Pee-Wee Herman edition), glow in the dark, light up, and musical yo-yos that play a tune while spinning. I think my favorite one is a silver plated yo-yo, engraved with my initials (thanks Hunny). Right now I have the nice ones on display, but I buy a box of Duncans for daily use (and yes, I color coordinate with my daily attire), which lasts me about a year. I’m not a big trick guy but if I’m waiting in line at the movies or just had a bad day, spinning a yo-yo makes me happy.

Yo-yos are not only fun, they’re also soothing. After a hard day, I can put all of my stress and anger into my right hand and just throw all those emotions into a spinning plastic wheel. Then you feel it; the vibration of string and SNAP!, all of your problems go to the core of the yo-yo and shoots right off. There’s a second of peace while your stress reliever pauses, then comes back to your hand ready to shake off any more daily problems that may have. Before you decide chuckle at my zen like speech, please note that more doctors recommend these types of simple toys to help with high blood pressure and common addictions than medication. How do you think George Romero stopped smoking?

My point is, yo-yos are a relaxing and quick fix for boredom PLUS you can take them anywhere! Stress about that business meeting? Then break out a yo-yo! Outa smokes? Then Break out a yo-yo! Are you shy and have trouble making friends? Then break out a yo-yo! They’re an instant ice breaker. Remember, no woman can resist a man with a yo-yo!

*Note: Even though Duncan is the Rube’s favorite and preferred brand, we must state that Strange Kids Club and/or any of their contributors have not received any compensation for endorsement or promotion of this fine and wonderful product, BUT if any of the big wigs at Nordic Group happen to love this anti-drug/pro yo-yo article… well you know what to do.

We’ll be introduced to more crew members of Starship Remarkable, and we’ll meet the Admiral that has to put up with their mistakes. We’ll also be introduced to Sunstrike’s main rival and see how the rest of the Galactic Union views our crew. Many of the installments will be episodic, but like Star Trek: The Next Generation, we’ll also introduce progressing story lines as well… and we’ve finally found a way to top our Choose Your Own Adventure ending to Season 1!

According to a recent press release, production has already begun on Season 2 – those interested in learning more can follow the crew’s progress over on the Voyage Trekkers website.

Underworld: Awakenings – I love the concept of these movies. However, I’ve seen the first two and I’m totally underwhelmed. I like Beckinsale and her character, but the story just doesn’t grab me. I haven’t seen three, and I don’t really plan on seeing this, but I’m not completely ruling it out.

Wresltemania 28 – I used to be a huge wrestling fan in the 80s and 90s.  I have since lapsed in my fandom, but I keep tabs on it from time to time.  The Nerd Lunch Podcast actually had an entire episode talking about Wrestlemania. This event brings back The Rock as a character and puts him in the main event.  It’s this event that has got me excited to watch wrestling again, so I will be seeing it.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch – Gremlins 2 hits Blu-Ray. This movie gets some crap from Gremlins fans, but it’s actually not that bad. I enjoy watching it.

Mother’s Day – Wow, this movie looks CRAZY. I swear I saw this trailer here on SKC, but I can’t seem to find the article. Whatever, Rebecca de Mornay as a crazy, killer mama. This just looks insane.

42nd Street Forever – These 42nd Street collections are amazing. They feature grindhouse trailers for all of these awesomely, crazy movies you’ve never heard of, but yet when you see the trailer, you wonder how you’ve never seen them.  There’s several of these out there, check them out.

Chuck Seasons 1-5 – This is a fun little series that really didn’t get the attention it deserved. I personally watched the first few seasons of this show. I only stopped watching because my wife lost interest and there were other shows on we also wanted to watch. I fully plan on finishing the series with this set.