Dear Friends,

It has been awhile since I have posted. I was co-leading a 10 day International Intensive Training in Nonviolent Communication. Each time I spend days of my life in the presence of others who also long for a world where we see each other, where we collaborate, where we take responsibility for ourselves and our communities, I am changed. I learn that every person has a gift to bring to this world. I learn that I am not alone. I am reminded that the well-being of one depends on the well-being of all. I experience the humility that accompanies the uncertainty and hard work of creating Beloved Community. I am awed by the multitude of ways love shows up.

Thank you for being one of the billions of people working everyday to make this world a safer, kinder, more equitable place. Each of us has a role to play — the roles are different— and they all matter. As we live our way into the changes we want to see, I dare to hope our planet and communities will find health and wholeness.

this moment in which you stand.

Notice the land around you,

the unique calls of the birds,

the direction of the wind,

the feel of the soil.

Ground your act of creation

in solidarity with the land

upon which you reside as a guest.

Assemble bones, breath, hands and skills

alongside dreams and responsibility.

Stir.

Shape your heart’s longings

into tangible possibilities and practical forms

with attention to details that are doable, positive,

specific and accessible now.

Sprinkle abundantly with variety.

There are many ways to live your values.

Hold your needs fiercely and close to your heart,

but offer strategies with fluidity and lightness.

Bake in the fire of trial and error

until risen and softened in the heat.

Season with courage to repair the world.

What you believe is revealed in what you do.

Simmer the sauce of discernment and feedback,

always stirring, tasting and adjusting

based on what you learn.

Finish by lavishly pouring that sauce

on the dreams you have

shaped and baked.

Your life is your message.

Present it with grace.

Then turn toward one another

in joy and gratitude.

Serve warm.

Savor.

(from Calling in the Dawn: Shaping Our Future through Authentic Dialogue, by Kathleen Macferran)

When I have lost my way,

dizzy from criticism, greed, and empty pursuits,

numb from high-speed chases to nowhere,

I close my eyes and wander the mysterious, wild inner woods

to find my way back to myself.

I arrive gently in the arms of my non-negotiable worth,

pulled by gravity into the center of my Being.

I align my bones to stand in my full integrity so I can move

in any direction with grace, speed and balance.

My eyes look to the horizon where my soul’s purpose shines.

Diving into my heart I am transformed

by what deeply matters to me.

My breath reminds me to never give up

my power to choose and engage,

anchoring my unique path of integrity and heart

into my thoughts and actions.

My hands invite me to take full responsibility for my life.

My shoulders bear the freedom required to do so.

In the process of becoming,

I trust the emergence of my inner voice,

never surrendering my inner knowing,

always growing and expanding

my understanding of life.

My heart knows that radical self-love

is the foundation for collective liberation

so I wildly embrace my essential dignity,

understanding that my dignity is tied to yours.

I take time to be still and reflective.

I feel and embrace all that I feel.

I love what I love.

I am alert.

It may be time to break into blossom.

(from Calling in the Dawn by Kathleen Macferran)

1. taking in what is happening around me— discerning what is real/true from what is incorrect— understanding the breadth of human experience including kindness and cruelty.

2. making meaning of what I see/understand/know— listening deeply for multiple perspectives— checking my narratives as I construct them to maintain alignment with my core values.

3. choosing my response— knowing our thoughts, worldview, words, and actions influence and shape the world around us, I want to respond freely, authentically and effectively to bring renewal to our communities.

These two quotes help me today:

“What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places – and there are so many – where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” - Howard Zinn

“It is the action not the fruit of the action that is important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there will be any fruit. But that does not mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know the result from your action. But if you do nothing there will be no result.” - Gandhi

Deep bows to all of you who choose to act with love every day.

In times when I’m confused and torn,

my soul softly whispers,

“Never give up

your power

to respond to life

in this moment

and the next.”

I don’t always like

the options around me.

They are too often constrained,

limited, dependent on context

of the situation and moment.

Taking in what lies around me,

I meet the outer constraints with an inner resolve

to hold onto my agency and freedom.

I find my ability to choose deep within,

ever present

waiting

for me

to

act.

(excerpt from Calling In the Dawn, by Kathleen Macferran)

definition:

overwhelming experiences that leave long-term

distressing reverberations on individuals and communities.

these experiences can be shocking events,

relational-developmental distress or systemic oppression.

**

A loud CRACK splits my world apart.

A chasm looms before me, crossing seems impossible.

The ground spins, all reliable orientation lost.

I stagger, confused and disoriented.

The cold polar winds seem to come from the east

while what was rooted in the south

blows frantically in the west.

Chronic exhaustion from the on-going

weight of oppression crushes me,

the burden of inequitable social systems

built on the backs of my people.

My inner flame quivers as I wrestle

with what I’ve been fed and have ingested.

Events sparked long ago fight to live in the present.

Time adrift on waves left by the storm,

past and present indistinguishable

jumbled together here and now.

When trust is broken and not repaired,

something breaks deep inside.

With the compass lost at sea, chaos takes the helm.

I rise up and fight for control to make things right again.

When my fevered efforts fail to bring peace,

I drop into the depths of shame and powerlessness.

Wariness becomes my shield and

distance my protector.

None of us escape trauma,

though the kinds and severities we experience differ.

With luck, we somehow find our way

into the healing transformative belly of the dragon

where fires of attunement warm the body,

and understanding stitches pieces

of our life back together again.

Where quiet replaces the cacophony

that previously could not be silenced.

Where healing arises from secure,

trusting relationships,

that mitigate terror and loss.

In the belly of transformation,

We find rituals that re-member

the pieces of ourselves.

We emerge with scars and memories,

yet wiser and more resilient

than ever before.

(excerpt from Calling In the Dawn by Kathleen Macferran)

Jesus and Nonviolence: Pilgrimage and Practice During Turbulent Times” by Kathleen Macferran, Guest Preacher

]]> 1954 https://strengthofconnection.com/claiming-inner-choice-during-outer-chaos/ Tue, 28 Jan 2025 17:27:04 +0000 https://strengthofconnection.com/?p=1939 The 2nd Edition of Choice: A field guide for navigating the polarization of our world and living interdependently was released on Jan 20, 2025! Dedicated to the memory of my […]]]>

The 2^nd Edition of Choice: A field guide for navigating the polarization of our world and living interdependently was released on Jan 20, 2025!

Dedicated to the memory of my beloved co-author and friend, Jared Finkelstein, this new edition includes two appendices built from the notes Jared and I wrote for the Choice Companion Book we were working on when he died. The first appendix is an overview of Nonviolent Communication as the founder Marshall Rosenberg talked about it in the last decade of his life. This is the only written account of his later perspective that I know of. It comes from multiple conversations I had with Marshall about this expansive framing. The second appendix is an inquiry process that Jared and I developed while facilitating workshops around Choice. This inquiry map supports readers in applying the reflections in the book to their personal lives and finding more choice and agency.

This pocket-sized book is a reminder that we have choice about how we navigate these times of transition globally. Choice is an invitation to see the world from a variety of perspectives, and to honor the complexity at the core of our humanity. Choice offers signposts to understand the uniqueness and fluid nature of our own inner landscapes, and then with humility and curiosity seek to understand the perspective of another. Choice nudges us to look at the narratives we carry, to search for nuances of context/culture, then to choose actions with awareness of the larger ecosystem. Ultimately, Choice is written as an antidote to a culture of separation, a field guide to collaboration, connection and wholeness.

“As authors, we know that authentic choice is a profoundly subjective and personal experience. Still, it’s our assertion that human problems and solutions—personal, interpersonal, and societal—all have their roots in the actions that individuals take.” (from Choice: A field guide for navigating the polarization of our world and living interdependently, 2^nd ed, pg. 22)

For more information: Click HERE

]]> 1939 https://strengthofconnection.com/the-freedom-project/ Sat, 23 Apr 2022 21:17:00 +0000 https://strengthofconnection.com/?p=22395 Kathleen Macferran worked for The Freedom Project for over 20 years, a nonprofit organization including men and women from diverse backgrounds and races sharing a common dream to strengthen our community by supporting the transformation of prisoners into peacemakers. The project represents both victims and perpetrators of crime; our collective experience with prison spans many decades and includes both work and service in the correctional system as well as incarceration. We are committed to the practice of nonviolence in our daily lives and in all interactions.

The Freedom Project offers trainings in concrete skills of nonviolence leading to reconciliation with ourselves, our loved ones and the community.  The work addresses the healing of relationships ruptured by violence and the forging of community founded on genuine safety through connection.

Kathleen travels internationally advocating for the transformation of prisoners into peacemakers.

Learn more about the Freedom Project here.

View Kathleen’s January newsletter for more resources, books, workshops and more.

Navigating a Polarized World with Kathleen Macferran and Jared Finklestein, Online – 4 Mondays from 1/18 – 2/8

50 Days for Peace with Roxy Manning, Kathleen Macferran, Kathy Simon and Sarah Peyton: January 19 – March 9, 2021