I asked my wife to be my sidekick. She just put her index finger up to my mouth and then walked away.

You think this is bad, he used to listen to that one Cold Play album over and over.

Lots of jerkwads in the Old Testament.

Time to go to the mall for a couple of those “Homiez 4-Ever” t-shirts.

She really shouldn’t even be speaking.

The entry on Pol Pot paints the portrait of a warm, gentle manchild.

Inspired by the delightful young people I encountered at a screening of “Scott Pilgrim.”

This guy really knows how to party. And by “party” I mean “violate his parole and catch a venereal disease.”

This seems like the perfect opportunity to invite you to LIKE ME.

Snip snip.

Yay, movies!

He’s not even on the air. He’s just sitting in the lobby of a bank.

Like our new character? He murders people who annoy him.

Quit intellectualizin’ my ‘splosions!

First, it’s cookie-baking Tree Elves. Next thing you know, you got bears in your back yard doing unspeakable things with toilet paper.

My bad. I’m so sorry.

It is only a matter of time until we get a Snorks movie, you know. Get your affairs in order.

In the ancient Near East, smelling like a dead goat was considered to be… well, gross, I imagine.

Also, blackberries were just these things that grew on bushes.

I blame Oprah.