We Love Telly - TV & Entertainment - Mirror.co.uk

The X Factor: Jamie's 'Fro-zen Out

2009-11-15T17:08:41Z

So that's the end of the Afro then. In the end, he came across as a rather sweet man in an unfortunate pair of shiny red trousers. What does the future hold? Will the rock world ever take to an X Factor contestant? (No).

Scowl blames himself for getting the song wrong. But actually you can tell he's pleased with a solid uncontroversial episode of the show, even if it meant losing his first act. There'll be no big complaints about voting scandals government inquiries, which is frankly, a bit disappointing.

It's Lloyd to leave next week, without a doubt. The X Factor's teen Frank Spencer is winning votes by being a little bit cute and hopeless, which is somehow worse than the Jedward insanity. He's just not very good. Let us know what you reckon.

Here's how it all unfolded:

Behind the scenes, Simon is scoffing Angel Delight, Louis is checking the rule book and the contestants are waiting to discover their fate.

Who do you think is going out? It's impossible to tell. But we reckon Jamie Afro and Lloyd Daniels are the vulnerable ones.

8.01pm: And they're off! The voice over man (Peter Dickson his name is) introduces a highlights package of last night's Queen spectacular (Calvin Harris and pineapple not pictured).

Oh, tell a lie. There's Louis explaining to an incredibly vacant Jedward that Calvin Harris is 'someone who wants to cash-in on their fame'.

8.07pm The finalists are all on stage singing a line each of Bohemian Rhapsody. It's cruel that they give Lloyd the line: "I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me."
Brian May explodes out of the background and starts soloing all over the place. Then they're all back in formation to finish it off. Is it a coincidence that Olly and Joe were at the front and centre?

8.10pm In a highlights package from last night, Louis accuses Jamie Afro of being 'a pub singer'. Scowl disagrees, not because he isn't even that good - but because he just doesn't like Louis.

Scowl calls Calvin Harris 'some idiot wanting publicity'. The camera then cuts to Stacey, which is bad luck - but funny.

8.15pm Shakira performs her new song with a sparkly black cat-suit and several million drums.

Dermot asks her advice for the contestants: "Hard work, intelligent effort and determination. And here on the show, don't be afraid of Scowl." Good advice, though it's not really that possible to be scared of someone who is addicted to Angel Delight, is it?

8.25 Dermot launches an appeal on behalf of Great Ormond Street. The child Oscar, who was saved by the hospital is incredibly cute and has more star quality than all the contestants put together.

The original 12 X Factor finalists then re-unite to sing a line each from Jacko's You Are Not Alone. Ah, we miss Miss Frank.

8.35pm Results time! Scowl and his boys stroll on like something from a heist film. Louis and his Jedward stroll on looking like something from a cheap horror film.

First act saved is: Joe, followed by Danyl, Stacey, Olly and Jedward!

As predicted Jamie and Lloyd are the bottom two!

8.45pm Louis will save the one who has the potential to get better. So, clearly Lloyd. Dannii will save the better singer.

8.47Jamie sings a rather metallic sounding version of The Show Must Go On. He's trying hard but looks exhausted.

8.49pm Lloyd begins flat and all over the place then suddenly warms up into Paolo Nutini's Last Request. His voice is wrong for the song. But he's trying so hard bless him.

8.51pm Scowl saves Jamie and Cheryl saves Lloyd. Louis sends Jamie home. 2-1 to Lloyd. It's all down to Dannii. Dermot is forced to calm the crowd down so we can hear her.

Dannii correctly sends Lloyd home! That means it's deadlock, yet again.

8.54pm And the act with the fewest votes, is Jamie Afro. He's going home. He heads off with commendable grace.

"It's not the end," he says. "It's the beginning."

X Factor: Jedward triumph over pineapple head Calvin Harris

2009-11-14T22:55:14Z

This week's Queen theme was fitting for what was the most exciting X Factor ever.

And it was Jedward who, to quote that group's best known anthem, were the champions.

Dressed in tight silver suits, the unstoppable twins performed Queen's Under Pressure, mashed up with Vanilla Ice's, Ice Ice Baby.

But John and Edward rapping wasn't the most amazing thing about the show tonight.

It was pop star and music producer Calvin Harris ,who had a recent hit with Ready For The Weekend and collaborated with Dizzee Rascal on the No 1 smash Dance Wiv Me, invading the stage during their performance that was the most surprising thing that happened.

In an X Factor first, Calvin legged it across the front of the stage wearing a pineapple on his head, before being bundled off by security on the other side.

Moments after viewers saw the surreal stage invasion, Calvin updated his Twitter status to "Was just thrown out of x factor for jumping onstage during Jedward with a pineapple on my head."

You can read this statement from Calvin on his official website here
http://www.calvinharris.co.uk/
The move meant that Harris, who was due to guest on the Xtra Factor after the show, was banned from appearing.

Jedward finished their amazing performance to a chorus of cheers and chants of "Jedward" from the audience.

Even Scowl himself was blown away by the boys."I'm going to judge you in JEdwardland, wherever that is," he said. "It was your best performance ever."

And Cheryl, admitted she was "happy they are chanting Jedward! Good for you."

So after sending the crowd wild, winning over Scowl and having a superstar performer share the stage with them, it was up to a rather stunned looking Dermot to sum up what just happened with: "Planet Jedward seems like a great place to be right now."

He's not alone - on Planet Jedward we're all going gaga!

Coronation Street: Drown and out

2009-11-14T01:00:11Z

Murderous Tony 'Flash' Gordon must think he's invincible because he's just too cocky by far.

When the police turn up at the factory on Monday and arrest him over threats to Roy and Hayley, and for his part in the death of Liam Connor, the Scot is so supercilious that it's a wonder they don't give him a kick up the sporran.

"There's obviously been some horrific mix up," he smirks, "but I'll humour you... I murdered Born To Run in the shower this morning. Is that what you're thinking of?"
Perhaps he's right to be smug. Who would believe Roy's wild claim that Tony made a deathbed confession?

Roy's an eccentric figure of ridicule with unhealthy obsessions for old bats, transsexuals - which, in "man-wife" Hayley's case, could be the same thing - and the locomotive industry. Yep, he's a trainspotting weirdo.

He also happens to be the Street's most honourable man, which is why viewers relate to such convincing performances by David Neilson as the oddball. The police believe Roy, and so does Maria when she finds out her fiancé has been questioned. And she's so terrified she flees the house.

With his world falling apart as he loses Maria and baby Liam, a furious Tony sets out for revenge on Roy. Not since that fateful night in March 2003 when Richard Hillman drove the Platts into the canal has Weatherfield known such unadulterated horror.

Again, it's at the canal where an unhinged Tony confronts Roy with a bloodied knife in his hand and a hint he's already dealt with Hayley.

"I killed Liam," Tony tells Roy again. "But I never killed with my own hands in cold blood before tonight."

As they fight and plunge into the canal, there's only going to be one outcome. And it's not a happy one...

EastEnders: Strictly prancing

2009-11-14T00:00:36Z

True, the contest on Thursday is to raise money for Children In Need. But this is where charity stops and dirty dancing begins. And also why Pudsey Bear should have both eyes covered.

In three rounds of Latin, ballroom and freestyle, compere Dr Al tells the competitive residents of Albert Square it's where they sort out "the Fred Astaires from the Fred Flintstones".

Well, Bianca is certainly the Ginger Rogers to Rickaaay's Fred, if only for her hair-colouring, as they prance off with the trophy.

But there's hot competition from Denise and Lucas doing a raunchy Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze, while amorous Fat Pat fancies a Last Tango In Paris with twinkletoes Patrick.

"Well, you've still got all the moves," she purrs. "Any time you want a private dance, just let me know."

Pass her a scaffolding pole now...

Emmerdale: Cash and carry on

2009-11-14T00:00:23Z

According to Cain Dingle, there are two qualities that Charity absolutely adores in a man - "money and testosterone". And he has both in abundance.

He may have a taste for young girls like Ollie and Jasmine that left him perilously close to being one signature short of making the Sex Offenders Register, but he can't resist soap's most glamorous grannie as she pulls out all the stops to get her hands on his family jewels - metaphorically.

The Dingles may celebrate the union of Charity and Cain, but her accomplice Carl is left seething when she double-crosses him over getting back the ransom money Cain trousered after kidnapping his dad Tom. Typically, she wants the loot for herself.

With both Cain and the key to his piggy bank in Charity's pocket, Carl promises revenge. "I'm gunna get what's mine," he warns Cain.

"And I don't need some scrawny tart to help me do it." We'll see...

Pillow talk

2009-11-14T00:00:21Z

Emmerdale's Psycho Sally isn't Soapland's first smotherer. Here are five who've tried it before... By Philippa Clarke

STEVE & KATHY: In 1998, Steve Marchant tried to suffocate Kathy Glover after he'd run her over as she was trying to flee the Dales.

JEZ & STEVE: Hospitals are a favourite with smotherers - maybe it's the availability of pillows. In 2000, Corrie's evil Jez Quigley rose from his sick bed to try to kill fellow patient Steve McDonald. But he died on top of him.

RICHARD & EMILY: In 2002, Corrie villain Richard Hillman crept up on a sleeping Emily Bishop, but was interrupted by Maxine Peacock, whom he bludgeoned to death.

CLARE & OB: In 2006, Hollyoaks' Clare Devine threatened to snuff out OB as he languished in hozzie, before he could expose her infidelity to Max Cunningham.

STEVEN & PAT: 2008 saw Enders' Steven Beale hovering over grandma Pat to stop her revealing he was implicated in his sister Lucy's disappearance.

Emmerdale: Smothers day

2009-11-14T00:00:20Z

Psycho Sally was quick enough to lock clergyman's wife Laurel in the burning church last week, so what a shame she didn't think of changing the locks at the vicarage while Laurel had her near-death experience in hospital.

Having survived being turned into a human torch at the bonfire party and the raging inferno inside St Mary's, Laurel is lucky to be alive.

Even suffering post-stress and confusion from carbon monoxide poisoning, she's starting to realise that Sally could be a murderous old bag who is trying to take over her life.

And she can't help but express her misgivings to best mate Nicola before coming out of hozzie on Tuesday.

As Laurel dozes on the sofa, Sally seems to think that rearranging the soft furnishings with a cushion over her face might be a clever move.

But Nicola turns up. "You gunna put the kettle on then, Mary Poppins?" she asks.

Nicola and Laurel decide the best way to keep Sally out of any more mischief is to turn her into "robo-housewife 1959".

"Must dust," says Nicola, "must sweep, must iron pants."

Must bump off the lady of the house?

EastEnders: Doing a runner

2009-11-14T00:00:03Z

As soon as Jack Branning admits to Roxy that he's still in love with her sister Ronnie on Monday, you just know his sexploits with the Mitchell girls are going to be exposed.

Then throw into the mix the venomous trickery of soap's most evil man, Archie. For he's maliciously trying to force Sam to go on the run to bring about the financial ruin of the Mitchell family when they forfeit their bail money.

Wind up fiery Bianca with the information that slapper Sam - and Rickaaay's intended - has been secretly playing hide the truncheon with ex-cop "uncle" Jack and all hell breaks loose in the Vic.

With Bee dragging Sam into the bar in her sexy new lingerie and by expensive hair extensions, there's uproar.

"You know, I really fort you'd changed, Jack," Roxy shouts furiously. "Who's next, eh? Auntie Peg? Aunt Sal?"

Amazingly, Thicky Ricky forgives Sam. But with Phil and Peg treating her like a spoilt imbecile - well, fancy that - she decides to take Archie's cash and do a runner.

"For what it's worth," he smirks, waving her off on Thursday, "I think you're doing the right thing."

We bet he does. Creep...

What a week for...

2009-11-14T00:00:00Z

EILEEN AND JULIE: CORRIE
Jolly Jugs Julie may object to sister Eileen making boyfriend Jesse sack her as Hia-Lowa in his General Custard act. But is that any reason for them to be squaw-king about it on Monday?

MAX AND PHIL: EASTENDERS
Of all the people that "dirty little conman" Max could rip off, Phil isn't the best to relieve of £13k in insurance payments for the Vic. "Sort my money aht by the end of the day," Phil tells Max on Tuesday. Or else. Uh-oh.

MOIRA AND MARLON: EMMERDALE
Moira continues to give Marlon so many come-on signals (right) that she might as well have been doing semaphore with her bra and knickers. Well, the chef's famous for his meat and two veg...

JANINE: EASTENDERS
When Janine puts on this revealing lingerie to seduce Ryan on Tuesday, is it just blatant sexism to titillate male viewers? Yes, and it works a treat.

All The Fun Of The Bear

2009-11-13T17:08:39Z

Our cover stars Terry Wogan, Alesha Dixon and Tess Daly look like they're going dotty for Children In Need this year.
Get ready to dig deep for charity as you settle in for seven hours of star-studded viewing.

Highlights of the show (Fri 7pm BBC1) include the cast of EastEnders dancing in the street for a musical extravaganza and a sneak preview of the Doctor Who Christmas special.

But before that we head deep into the mighty jungle with a host of celebrities - and creepy-crawlies - in I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! (Sun 9pm ITV1)

Caroline Flack, who presents the ITV2 spin-off show Get Me Out Of Here Now, tells us: "I can't wait for it all to begin. I'm so excited. I hope there's romance in the jungle. I want another Peter and Katie - despite what's happened to them!"

And Doctor Who is back for another special, The Waters Of Mars. "It's probably the scariest episode so far," David Tennant tells us. "Life for the Doctor will never be the same again."

Alan Carr chatters to us about his new Chatty Man show. He reveals: "Mariah Carey is on this week's first show. I'd heard all about how you weren't allowed to look her in the eye, but she's not like that at all."

And Corrie's Kym Marsh lets us in on some of her TV secrets in our exclusive interview.

But life isn't looking good for Corrie's Roy Cropper, who comes face to face with murderous Tony. If anyone's in need of charity this week, it's him...

For more news from Soapland, click here. Get all your TV listings in We Love Telly magazine, free with tomorrow's paper.

Angela Griffin: Nightmares Of My Dream Job

2009-11-13T11:14:26Z

Me with singer Melanie Blatt - what are Jeremy Edwards and Zoe Salmon laughing about?

I've survived the first week of live shows! Thank goodness Tom Chambers was my first guest. It made everything much easier because it was like talking to a mate.

It seems to be a running theme that guests leave saying they want to come back, even Martina Cole who doesn't like to do much TV. So that's a good sign!

Me with my favourite crime writer Martina Cole!

People at home have sent me Twitters saying it feels like they're sitting with me in my living room, and that's how it's supposed to be.

But on Tuesday's show I wanted to leave half-way through. I was messing up on the autocue so much and felt so uncomfortable. I felt like I was getting everything wrong.

And yesterday I slipped as I was walking across the set but I just said 'There I go!' and made a joke of it. So hopefully no one minded.

The biggest nightmare of the week - and I'm not going to mention any names - was when someone pulled out two hours before the show.

They said they had food poisoning but wouldn't they have known that first thing in the morning?

It was a complete nightmare. I was ringing around everyone I know, including Eva Pope and Jenna Louise Coleman from Waterloo Road, but no one was available at such short notice. Luckily we got someone and they turned out to be a brilliant guest.

And I'll let you into a secret. Sara Cox watched herself back on Monday and thought her roots were so awful she immediately went to the hairdresser that night! I wish I had time to get my roots done, they're rancid.

We've also had some styling problems. Quite often it's 10 minutes before the show and no one knows what they're going to wear. It really is like being with your mates!

Strictly Come Dancing: The bitching's back!

2009-11-11T18:22:13Z

Well, it seems my wish was the judge's command, as they've really brought out the snidey comments since I suggested they'd been warned to be on their best behaviour. In fact, they're bandying them around like no-one's business.

First there was Len's rant at Craig Revel Horwood last week. I've never seen the man so enraged. And there was me thinking he was such a sweet old man (sorry, I had to say it, but in the nicest possible way). Threatening to hit him was perhaps a step too far - but let's face it, it's one all of us have felt in the past.

Then there was Alesha's comment to Craig Kelly this week, telling him in no uncertain terms that his cha cha was rubbish (not that he didn't deserve it, it just seemed quite harsh coming from such a sweet girl).

What's going on? We're going to have to sit the judges in opposite corners of the dance floor next, for fear of all hell breaking loose between them. (Not sure Brucie would be able to cope with all that extra walking, but we could put him on castors or something.)

I'm certainly not complaining about all this hooha - it's making viewing more interesting - I just hope it continues. Although I wouldn't like to say who'd win in a fight between them all (actually, my money's on Alesha).

Strictly Come Dancing: Ricky Whittle and Natalie Lowe DEFINITELY an item

2009-11-11T17:43:54Z

I don't mean to be smug about this, but, well, I do like it when a plan comes together! It seems my relationship radar was working overtime as I've just heard that Ricky Whittle and Natalie Lowe really are an item!

This is, of course, something I picked up on weeks ago and brought to your attention, so it's always good to be proved right. Just check out the chemistry between them while they did the tango this week.

Well, it wasn't hard to read the signs. All of Natalie's gushing about her 'brilliant, lovely, amazing' dance partner - it was obvious she had more designs on Ricky than just rumba moves.

And who can blame her? One look at that sexy chest and hot bum and a girl would need nerves of steel to resist falling just a little bit in love with him.

I feel a bit like Cilla now. If I get myself a hat, can I go to the wedding?

Ian Waite had me boogying in Blackpool

2009-11-10T00:00:03Z

The bus carrying all our over-excited celebs and dancers had police outriders to escort them into Blackpool as Strictly Come Dancing headed north at the weekend.

You can always count on a warm northern welcome and it seemed like the whole town had turned out to greet us.

There was an audience of over 1,000 in the Tower Ballroom, all cheering loudly - the atmosphere was positively electric.

And actress Ali Bastian and partner Brian Fortuna didn't disappoint, pulling off a perfect score of 40, a series best so far, with a stunning Viennese waltz - a complete turnaround after being in the dance-off last week.

Ali and Brian are an adorable couple (nudge, nudge), a perfect partnership and it looks like they'll be giving hot favourite, Ricky Whittle, a run for his money.

For the show, I wore a fabulous floor-length scarlet frock by Ashley Isham - very body conscious but my stylist Annabel found some amazing body-sculpting undies which did the trick at www.mytights.com and statement earrings by Sam Ubhi.

Afterwards, the crew went partying en masse... and dancing in nightclubs takes on a whole new meaning when you just happen to have Strictly's professionals on hand to teach you a few moves.

My highlight was persuading Ian Waite to recreate moves from his and Jade Johnson's fab jive. It was so much fun and being spun around by Ian is like being on The Big One ride without a seatbelt.

Jo Wood was there, too, and she may not be the most natural ballroom dancer but, yes sir, she can boogie!

It was a great night: Blackpool had never seen anything like it.

X Factor: Stop your tedious bellyaching - Simon Cowell is a TV genius

2009-11-09T15:59:04Z

FAO all those keyboard warriors that continue to furiously tap their illiterate, knee-jerk splutterings into their Facebook and Twitter statuses: you've been worked by the greatest showbusinessman in and on TV.

Feel free to be 'outraged', 'disgusted' and to 'lose respect' for a 'hypocritical' Simon Cowell, if you have nothing better to get into a right tizzy about.

But the only 'tactical game' being played by Simon is one where he has masterfully slain the Jedward monster and repositioned himself as the focus of the entire show. Genius.

Jedward are on the outs. The majority of last week's press attention concentrated on how John and Edward were sticking it to The Man, defying Cowell's put downs and psyching themselves up to "exterminate" him during their Ghostbusters routine.

Well, The Man stuck it right back to 'em, by damning the boys with the faintest of praise as "sort of good". Sort of.

Jedward thrive on the Marmite reaction. And with their chief adversary subtly taking the heat out of the issue by feigning a grudging admission, there's no longer a strong opponent for them to react against.

Being mediocre is a far worse offence in entertainment than being merely Godawful terrible.

This week will be their last shot. With Simon back on top as the target of all the virtual hate being spewed, Jedward have lost the antagonistic smoke and mirrors that protected them.

Regarding Lucie - who cares? As Simon said, she had a ceiling and her head was bumping on it.

Whether or not she was done a disservice by being given songs that didn't play to her strengths is a moot point. It doesn't matter - she's gone. Her X Factor ride is over.

The punters didn't give much of a monkeys when push came to vote, so to complain she has been hard done by is nothing but precious whining.

Brass tacks: X Factor is a TV show founded on the premise of creating a superpopstar, it is not a pure singing competition.

It follows the blueprint and replicates the razzmatazz for creating a commercial music celebrity - not an actual, y'know, musician.

If artistic credibility was of paramount importance to the show, you'd be watching it on BBC Four, not on ITV1. And Dannii Minogue certainly wouldn't be anywhere near anything passing itself off as a judging panel.

Talent-wise, this year's crop of wannabes is as fallow as when Leon Jackson won two years ago, which is why Simon has to insert himself so prominently. Truly, he's the only one with the X Factor.

Normal service with everyone else as the foil to Simon as focus has been resumed. He winds you up, he turns you inside out - but Simon Cowell wins.

It works, too. The viewing figures are going up week on week, hitting a record peak of 15.4million viewers for last night's show.

Bellyache all you like about boycotting Simon's acts.

Swear indignantly that you'll never tune in again.

But just lighten up, please. Be entertained, don't give yourself an ulcer. You'll be back for more next week, anyway.

And when Simon gleefully delivers the final thumbs down to Jedward, you'll cheer him louder than ever.

It'll be like this past weekend never even happened...