Stripped

Welcome to the Real World

2011-08-01T09:00:00.003-04:00

For nearly 33 months I have neglected this blog. In college, it went from my deep, philosophical musings on life (i.e. a Liberal Arts assessment of Sex and the City...you know, the really important stuff) to a roommate rant (despite what you think, I didn't enjoy hearing you and your boyfriend make out under the covers!). In 2008 I got a "roommate" about whom I have so few complaints - Ben - that I had little to rant about! Now that I am past my phase of college roommate irritation, meticulously picking apart HBO's best series to justify my own guilty pleasure, firing off emails and letters, thinking I could change the world with an editorial post, I think it's time to resume this blog as my own therapy.
I used to hate when people said, "when you get to the REAL world..." What did they think I was living in? Some virtual reality until graduation? Turns out, going to class for 3 hours a day, spending the rest of the day getting ready to go out that night and returning home in time for class the following day does not constitute the "real world." Thus, though my ranting about the evils of alarm clocks and dirty dishes in the apartment sink for weeks seemed like the most trying events back then seem hardly mentionable compared to the reality of adult life. Most of my friends are now married, most have houses, and some are starting to have babies. We have all finally graduated from college and have found jobs in our field of choice, which is in and of itself remarkable given the economy. Despite the woes of responsibility, paying bills, 8 hour workdays, home maintenance and child care, turns out that this whole "real world" thing isn't too bad. I just try not to take it too seriously...
Although, there are still times when I feel like everybody has it together but me. Like when the season starts changing from summer to fall and the evenings are cooler, I am reminded of going back to school in the fall all tanned up from the summer with a new collection of sleazy outfits and a new mixed CD for the drives out to the field parties, and for a minute I wish I was 21 again. Fortunately, my friends from college and I have managed to maintain a relationship and all happen to live within 15 minutes of one another, so we still get together to "party"...although the clothes have gotten more appropriate, the drinks more refined (we can finally afford better than PBR) and the men more respectful (they are, after all, our husbands). Thankfully, we haven't gotten too old for "Get Low..." :-)
~em

Personality Test

2008-12-10T11:32:00.002-05:00

I just took a personality test at Http://DNA.imagini.net/friends. Usually I'm not big on stuff like that, but this one was really fun because I got to choose pictures to describe myself. I thought the results were pretty accurate....here's what it said...

Mood: Dreamer

You're romantic in your outlook and love the simplicity of nature. You can be a little nostalgic and love revisiting familiar places and memories. When it comes to art, nothing is more impressive than high fashion.
Hefty price tags are definitely worth it. You care about how you look; you make every effort to look your best at all times. You like how music helps you unwind and switch off. Music transports you far away from the every day grind.

Fun: Escape Artist

Always the first to take the leap, you like to look forward, and try to have no regrets. You like to see where life takes you - this positive attitude will give you a wealth of experiences. For kicks, you like to be spoilt rotten. It's always so much fun opening gifts. Nothing beats that kind of surprise. When it comes to holidays, you reckon they should always be indulgent - a very special treat and a chance to recharge your batteries in luxurious surroundings, as well as spending quality time with family and friends.

Habits: Back to Basics

You love being a little bit naughty. Being good all the time is too boring - life should be about enjoyment. Your choice of drink reflects extravagent taste. You're fruity and adventurous and always up for trying something new. As for the home, you have an expressive personality. You like your surroundings to be simple and comfortable - with a really romantic feel.

Social: Socialite

You're a sociable animal at heart. Nothing beats hanging out with all your favorite people. It can be super low-key, as long as everyone's together. When you think of freedom, you think of being in charge of your direction. The open road and a full tank can take you pretty much anywhere.

~em

How long is too long?

2008-08-30T11:55:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I love to go back and read the conversations I had with Ben via email and IM when we first started dating. We were playing that game of trying to get to know each other while still remaining a bit mysterious. Many of our conversations were light and trivial, like whether a Chevelle is better than a Mustang, or recounting memories with mutual friends. Some of the conversations, however, were very deep and were about topics that could make or break a potential relationship. Looking back, I don't remember how I knew when it was the right time to talk about the stuff that mattered, but three years later I am so glad I went out on a limb and talked about the things that I knew I would not compromise.
So when should you talk about the sensitive topics like ethics, political affiliations, religious views, and how you think children should be raised? There is a very delicate balance between jumping in "too quickly," talking about the tough stuff too soon, and waiting so long that it gets harder and harder (maybe even impossible) to ever bring up the tough stuff. If you bring it up right away it becomes easy to write a person off if they don't agree 100%, and you become a negative representation of your beliefs. If you wait to get to know a person first, however, it becomes difficult to draw the line of how far you go physically and emotionally before you bring up these subjects. If you wait too long, it is almost unfair to the other person who has invested a lot of time and energy into the relationship, only to be bombarded with your beliefs and the possibility of losing you if they do not adopt the same beliefs. It also becomes extremely easy to compromise your own core beliefs and rationalize that the person has other good traits like respect or kindness, so maybe the other things don't matter.
It's a really tough question, and I wish it were easier to solve. Then again, maybe that's part of the fun of getting to know someone new :-)
For me, there were certain hot topics that I was not willing to compromise on: abortion, Christianity, raising kids in a Godly home, etc. I broached these topics pretty quickly with Ben, and I laid my thoughts out on the line from the start. Though I ran the risk of scaring him off, now I am so glad that I got all that stuff out of the way before I established such a serious relationship. I also think he ultimately respected me more for being up front about who I was from the beginning. Plus, it gave us the rest of the time in the world for more fun stuff in the years to come :-)
~em

Sad cycles and glad cycles

2008-08-27T09:51:00.003-04:00

Ben and I have started going to a new church, and the message from last Sunday has been with me since I heard it several days ago. I think it is so meaningful and pertinent to today, and I want to share it. It was about coming from a "glad cycle" or "sad cycle." A sad cycle means having a rough family history, maybe having parents that did not worry about teaching morals and ethics. It could be something so severe as having parents in prison or into drug use, or it could even be something so minor as parents who did not raise their kids in a God-fearing home. A glad cycle, on the other hand, is having parents who believed the Bible and taught it to their children and who worked to raise their kids to be believers, all the while leading by example.
I got to thinking about these cycles, because I think you could say my dad did not necessarily come from a "glad cycle." I don't often hear him talk about his childhood with fondness, and there were issues of alcoholism and marital strife as he was growing up. I sometimes hear about the screaming matches between his parents, and as long as I have known my grandparents I have never really heard them talk about the Bible or church or a relationship with God. Obviously, I cannot make a judgment on their spirituality, but I can comment on what I have seen. So I would classify my dad's upbringing as a sad cycle. Similarly, his mom came from a sad cycle. She was practically abandoned by her own mother and raised by her grandmother, and her environment growing up was less than optimal. It is very difficult to break a sad cycle, because if that is what you know, that is probably what you are going to do with your own family.
That is why it is so remarkable that I myself have come from a glad cycle. My dad was able to break the sad cycle of his own family upbringing and provide a Christian environment for me and my sister. My parents' relationship has been an example to me, and their fervor with studying the Bible, getting involved with church groups, and surrounding themselves with Christian friends is a huge encouragement.
Even though I come from a glad cycle, it doesn't end there. Just like my dad went from a sad to glad cycle, it would be possible for me to go from a glad to sad cycle. I need to equip myself with the knowledge and tools necessary to raise my family *in the future* in a Christian home. Ben and I have a great relationship with each other, and like my parents, I want us to be an example to our kids and others. It is up to us now to continue the glad cycle, and I am so thankful to have parents who gave us that environment from the start.
~em

A Not-So-Bad Friday the 13th

2007-07-19T08:02:00.000-04:00

The last time I celebrated my birthday on a friday the 13th was my 16th birthday. Nothing bad happened, but I almost wrecked my mom's car in the Wal-Mart parking lot on my first independent driving outing :-) Since I am not the least bit superstitious, I cannt attribute that event to anything more than poor driving skills....
Last Friday was my 22nd birthday, which I was sure was destined to be non eventful and boring, since you never hear about a GREAT 22nd birthday. However, this one was pretty amazing, and it would certainly give my 21st a run for it's money. Friday morning Ben and I left early for Roanoke so I could get my eyes checked, then meet the fam at Olive Garden for dinner. I had no clue they would dilate my eyes, so unfortunatley in all my pics my pupils are as big as quarters, and red of course, as usual, but I got to wear a blinking tiarra through dinner, so that made up for it. Then Jenny Anne, Abbey, and I had a little girl's outting and shopped for a few hours, which is always a pleasure and helped walk off dinner a bit :-) Back at home, I had some lovely gifts, including painted vases from Abbey of the 4 seasons. What an artist, maybe she should give up singing and pursue art.... One of the best parts of the evening, however, was my "Lorelai" cake, consisting of all sizes of eclairs decoratively stacked with candles in them. Mmmm, it doesn't get a whole lot better than that.

Saturday morning, Ben insisted on going for a bike ride, and despite warnings of dogs running loose in Franklin County, he started his trek. Sure enough, an hour later, he returned with a dog bite in his leg from a dog that didn't appear rabid, only territorial, and apparently chased him for about half a mile then finally gave up and went back home. Needless to say, Ben didn't go back that way, and he still has some nice teeth marks in his calf. Saturday on the lake was sooo much fun, and I actually did a few things I've never done before: jumped off the cliffs into the lake *never to be attempted again, because despite testimonials of it being a great "thrill," it was nothing short of terrifying for myself*, went tubing which was SO fun and gave me a nice ab workout, and attempted water skiing, which was also fun, though I never quite mastered it and ended up with a wedgie so horrendous I still felt it a half hour later. Seriously, I think it left a permanent mark. Jenny Anne, however, was a water-skiing pro, even though she'd never done it before. She's like a born athlete, and if she wasn't my cousin I've have to be jealous ;-) Adam did a great job navigating our lovely boat, and we all got some nice sun and were so exhausted at the end of the day that we almost instantly fell into bed and got our full 10+ hours of sleep.

Sunday morning, Abbey sang, "You lift me up" at church, amazingly, and the whole time I kept thinking, "she's so much better than some people on American Idol!" Maybe i'm a little biased, but she seriously blows me away everytime I hear her. After lunch we headed back to Harrisonburg, taking a little detour because of traffic on the interstate and getting to see my tentative church for the wedding! :-D It was an awesome weekend, my family is so much fun, and I am already looking forward to my 23rd! hehe
~em

Long Time, No See

2007-07-06T11:50:00.000-04:00

It has been almost 3 months since my last post, and an entire chunk of my life has now gone undocumented, which is unfortunate since it has been the most eventful chunk of life :-) Let's start at the beginning....May 13, I finally graduated from Bridgewater College. For several weeks leading up to graduation I didn't feel like it was really a big deal. I mean lots of people graduate from college every year, but as the day drew near I started being really excited about my achievement. Maybe a lot of people had graduated before me, but on that day, it was ME that was graduating. Everything I had worked toward for 4 years had finally paid off. Some people around me kept talking about how they felt they were going to cry, and I have no idea what about that day would elicit tears, because when I walked across the stage, all I really thought was that I finally had a diploma, and even if I did NOTHING else with my life, I had done something.
As it happens, I don't plan on doing nothing with my life, and on June 11 I started classes at JMU for OT. People warned me that grad school would be harder than undergrad and I kinda shrugged it off, because of course that's what people said about the transition to college from high school (and I was still waiting for undergrad to get really complicated...). However, whoever told me that was absolutely correct, because grad school is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. After the first week I quit my job because even a measly 10 hours of work per week was too much and I was already falling behind. When it's all said an done, I spend around 12 hours every week in anatomy lab, in addition to the hours at home every day reading, studying, and writing papers. My social life is nearly non existent, and it is so frustrating to see all my friends taking trips, making money, getting tan, and having not a single care because it's summer and we should all just be relaxing. However, I have to believe that in another 2 1/2 years I will look back on this and know it was all worth it because I'm making six figures as a new OT (ha ha ha).
Another great milestone I've reached is my engagement with Ben. Even though it was almost 3 weeks ago I still get distracted by my ring and the preoccupations of thinking about and planning a wedding. Even though I've already changed my mind about a dozen times, I think we have settled on December of 2008, with blue as my color. A lot of people say being married in school is going to be really hard, and I can't imagine it being any harder than staying up late and travelling to and from each other's places *because heaven knows he can't stay HERE, thanks to a very staunch landlord who likes being in my business* I'm pretty excited about it, and even though it's a year and a half away I know that time is going to fly because there's so much to do and think about! Whoa...I'm getting married....
It's so weird being grown up. Living by myself and having to make all my decisions on my own. I've dealt with more issues in the past month than I ever did in my life because it's stuff my parents always took care of, and even though it's nice to be independent, I wish I still had someone to organize all the details of my life for me. Oh well, life is hard, but I am exactly where I've put myself and where I want to be, which helps ease the burden just a bit :-)
~em

Hunt for the Perfect Apartment

2007-04-27T09:26:00.000-04:00

In light of the graduation date that is quickly approaching (May 13th!!!) I decided sometime last week that it was time I started looking for another place to live, since I will absolutely have to be out of here by that date. The search began by driving around desireable locations in Bridgewater and Harrisonburg, scoping it out to see if anything miraculous was for rent. Then a hunt through newspaper ads ensued, and there it was! A basement apartment in Bridgewater, only 400 a month! It was described as an "efficiency" apartment, but I figured, if I'm the only one living there I don't need a ton of room, right? So I went to look at the place. I pull into the parking lot and see a scruffy looking man walking from around the back of the complex, and discover later that he has apparently been banned from the Bridgewater College campus for wandering through girls' dorms late at night. This would be my neighbor, because he had the other basement apartment. BUT, the location was right and the price was right, so I would give it a look. Ben and I walked around back, down some dungeon steps into a dark, damp, cigarette-smelling room. The room is smaller than my bedroom at BC, and then I am informed by the land lord that this is the ONLY room in the apartment. There is no bedroom because it's an efficiency. The kitchen had about 2 feet of counter space, the carpet was supposedly new yet was a putrid 70's orange color that was fraying on the edges, the bathroom was so small I had to walk in side ways and it had soap scum all over the bathtub and a tiny rusting mirror over the sink, two tiny windows near the ceiling that I could not have reached to save my life, and a single light in the center of the room. That was IT. 400 a month? Try 250, then we'll talk! I could not even had fit my bed in that one room. OK, so we had to try something else...
There was a HOUSE for rent in Harrisonburg, one bedroom, spacious yard with storage building, for only $500! Sounded like a bargain. I drove by to see what it looked like and realized it was in a small neighborhood with shed-like houses practically falling down. Many houses had "NO TRESPASSING!" signs nailed to the mail box OR spray painted on the side of the house. This particular house was painted teal and the "spacious yard" was essentially a mud pit. That's a no.
Next: a 2 bedroom apartment in Harrisonburg, fairly nice location, good price. Too bad the land lord was a pushy b*tch who wanted me to make a decision the instant I walked through the door. That, coupled with the immigrant housing next door and carpeted walls (!) made me think maybe this wasn't for me after all. Plus, she had to "inform other people interested in the place by TOMORROW MORNING!" And, come to find out, stuff up and down the street had been vandalized several years ago, AND there had been a guy living next door who had been released from a mental institution and had been stalking a single woman in the basement. Mmm, sounds like a real deal....I suggested that she let the other people interested know that it's all theirs, and they can enjoy their carpeted walls all they want.
Then there was the two-bedroom in a basement house of downtown H'burg, only 400 a month, utilities included! Whoa, too good to be true! When I went to look at it with Ben the realtor told him there's no way he could live there, cause the ceilings are too short. Hmm.....so we walk into a completely dark cement floored room the size of my closet and realize that's the living room. There really isnt' a kitchen, more like a fridge sitting against the wall. The "two bedrooms" are really one room with a piece of plywood propped in the middle to divide it. The mattresses stacked on the floor of the one room were particularly appealing, as were the wash clothes piled in the bottom of the shower. It was as if someone had picked up that morning and moved out. This place advertised "no pets" and I certainly don't know what kind of damage a cat would do to a cement prison. Uggh....
Then, on a whim I decided to call about a one-bedroom on S. Main, thinking this would be no better than the others, and probably in the middle of student housing. I was so wrong. It's the perfect place, a big bedroom, two nice closets, a spotless white bathroom (sans soap scum or wet wash cloths), a place for my favorite kitchen table and a decent living room, all on the second floor of a 4-unit brick building called "S. Main Place." The Landlord is a Christian and very particular about who lives there, and apparently I was what he was looking for, which is awesome because that place is what I was looking for! It's within walking distance to my building at JMU, yet it is not in the middle of campus *and it actually has some pretty nice flower beds!* I'm so excited and I can't wait to move in the end of May. This is an answer to my prayers, and I feel ready to begin grad school, on my own! :-D
~em

"Tragedy of Monumental Proportions"

2007-04-17T11:18:00.001-04:00

Is April 16, 2007 now going to be a day like December 7, 1941, or September 11, 2001? It is certainly a day that will be remembered in Virginia, and to many personally who have family members or friends at Tech. I cannot believe that yesterday morning began as any other day, and today 32 families are without a son, daughter, husband, or wife. One professor who was killed had been a survivor of the Holocaust. Who thought you could survive Nazi Germany, only to be shot in a school in a little rural town of Virginia. Another professor, a German professor, was shot and killed. His wife was also a German professor at Tech who now has to deal with the horror of this memory every day she steps foot on campus. Every victim has his or her story, and it is a shame that the selfishness of one person cut those stories short.
I think it is so cheap that the murderer first took the lives of 32 people, injured several more, then took his own life! I wish he was still around, and that there was a way to make him suffer as much as they suffered, and as much as family members and friends are suffering. Does he realize what turmoil he has caused for our country? Does he know how many hours upon hours are being spent trying to figure out why someone would do something so cruel and thoughtless? Does his family have any idea that their son was a monster???
I'm also getting frustrated with the media needing to choose someone to blame, and thus blaming the administration of Tech. The only one to blame is the psychopath who committed this crime. In hind sight, it's all fine and good to speculate on what could have been done: "they should have locked down the campus sooner," "they should have informed students in other ways besides email," "they should have gotten news to the students immediately after the first shooting," etc. Like Steger said, the Tech campus on any given day can have approximately 40,000 people on it. You can't just lock down what is essentially a small city over something you believe to be an isolated incident. How else was the campus supposed to be warned of the situation besides email? A personal phone call to each student would have certainly been conducive. And parents of the two victims in West AJ would have certainly been appreciative of hearing of thier childrens' death over the news in an attempt to warn students on campus. Why place the blame on the people who are working around clock right now to find answers and provide support for those involved? Now is not the time to be divided over who has the most responsibility and who should have done more - it is a time to be supportive, respectful, and available for the people who need help.
It's really scary to think of something like this happening in a place as beautiful and rural as Virginia. It's scary to think of all the people we know at Tech who have witnessed something more inhumane than any college student should be expected to witness. I just hope efforts are put in the right place, I hope that the students at Tech will have avenues to grieve and cope, I hope that the families of victims can move forward, I hope we can get some answers and closure, and I sincerely hope the killer is now gravely regretting his wreckless decision.
My prayers are with everyone involved with this tragedy. I'm so thankful Abbey is fine, and it gives me pause to imagine suddenly being without a sister. It has put some stressors in life in perspective, and suddenly some things are appearing pretty mundane.
~em

Oh, to see!

2007-04-06T08:15:00.000-04:00

I am officially on the second day of post-op from Lasek eye surgery. I went to the Dr. yesterday and my vision is 20/15!!! I don't think it's ever been that good :-) With that in mind, it makes the procedure all worthwhile, although at the time I was thinking otherwise...
Mom and I got to the office where I was given numerous drops to start numbing my eyes as well as some Adavan to sedate me a little bit. Though I didn't think the drugs were doing anything, Mom said I was talking a lot, so maybe it worked better than I thought. Finally, I was taken back to be prepped for surgery, which consisted of tucking all my hair under a cap and putting gauze around my ears so all the drops didn't run into my ears (Mom said I looked like a Cargill employee :-) ) Then I went into this sterile room where I layed down and had my head secured between two cushions, and I was given a million more numbing drops until I couldn't even feel the drops going in. Dr. Kinsler came in and taped my eye lids open, then the procedure began... *Mom was watching all of this on a screen, so the only reason I know what all was going on is because she told me later* So he puts this ring around my eye and says, "SUCTION" and it felt like a million little needles being poked into my eye. Apparently this was to make sure my eye stayed open during the whole time. Whatever it was, immediately after the suction part I couldn't see anything, which was a really strange sensation since I knew my eye was wide open. So then all of a sudden I feel this blast of heat as a laser cuts around my lens. Then Dr. Kinsler peels the lens off (mom said this looked like peeling back Saran Wrap) and messes around with something under my lens for a while. Periodically there are drops being squeezed into my eye, then I was able to see him swabbing something over my eye. All of a sudden there is a tremendously bright ring of light with a blinking red dot in the middle, and I am instructed to look at the blinking light, no matter what. This was extremely difficult because all I wanted to do was close my eyes because it was all so bright it hurt. So they got some readings while I'm staring at this light, and finally it's time to do the actual correction. The nurses start counting down from 20 seconds, while the Dr. coaches me to keep looking at the light, and my vision fades out and I smell burning flesh because the laser is essentially burning my cornea away. The nurse finally says, "2....1," and Dr. says "suction off" and I feel tears just streaming out of my eye but it is immediately taped shut before I can even determine if I'm blind or not. I realize at this point that I hadn't breathed during that whole 20 seconds because I'm out of breath and my heart is pounding a thousand beats per minute it seems. Then... it's time for the other eye. Now, you would think it would be easier knowing you were halfway done, but it was way worse knowing what to expect. And for some reason my left eye did not want to cooperate and look at the red blinking light during the burning cornea part because I kept feeling it get off track and they were all yelling "look at the red light! look at the red light!" It was the sensation like my eyes were rolling back in my head because I was so tired and I couldn't even stop them. Finally, though, that eye was done and all the tape was ripped off both eyes, and they told me to look at the clock. Low and behold, I wasn't blind after all and I could actually see the clock from what looked like I was underwater. Stuff was still kinda blurry, though just like I was walking through a thick fog. My head was pounding and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. So I went and sat in a dark room for 30 minutes and Dr. Kinsler came back in and shone more bright lights in my eyes and told me everything looked good, and I went home. I think I slept the whole way home and I don't really remember getting into bed, but I woke up that evening around 7:00 and everything was crystal clear. Wow.
So after being able to see without contacts or obnoxious glasses, I would say that all the bright lights, drops, burning flesh smells, and suctioning of the eye were absolutely worth it. It's not something I would want to do every day, but once or twice in a lifetime isn't so bad when I realize I will never wear contacts again :-D So don't let my little story scare you. It's like a lot of things in life, you gotta get through the tough spot to get to a better place. Now I just have another week of antibiotic drops and several more check-ups during the year, but it's one of the best things I did, and nothing beats being able to see first thing in the morning if you've never been able to do that.
Now I'm off to finish cleaning the house for Easter company (a.k.a. Ben). It's calling for snow here tomorrow which is kinda a bummer since it was 80 degrees 3 days ago AND I have a springy dress to wear on Sunday, but it's ok cause I'll be able to see the snow without my contacts :-) hehe...
~em

Ring the Alarm

2007-03-29T12:32:00.000-04:00

What person thought up the idea of an alarm clock? Whoever it was, I'm sure they're rich now, because an alarm clock is such a necessity for anyone who has any kind of life before 11am. In any other circumstance, an alarm is used to warn a person of pending danger. A smoke alarm sounds when there's a fire; an alarm goes off on the stove so you don't overcook anything; an alarm warns passengers on a plane to put on an oxygen mask. So why does it have to be an alarm that wakes us up every morning? Unless, of course, you argue that it warns us that we will be late if we don't get out of bed. Still, it seems like it would be so much nicer to wake up because the sun is rising or because you hear the rooster crowing, not because you nearly have a heart attack each and every morning when the obnoxious buzzer goes off beside your head. In fact, I think the only good thing about an alarm is that it can add some realistic sound effects if you're dreaming about the Titanic.
Furthermore, what is the philosophy behind a snooze button? I have never in my life used a snooze button, and I think I would be miserable if I started. It's not natural to come out of a deep sleep to hit the snooze button, then doze for another 6 minutes before you have to wake up again to hit the snooze button. If you're planning on hitting the snooze 2 or 3 times, why not just set the alarm 15 minutes later to begin with and let those last 15 minutes be peaceful? It's not like the 6 minutes of snooze time is doing your body any good at all. If we did all wake up to roosters, you certainly wouldn't just shoot the rooster to get in a few more "valuable" minutes of sleep time.
It's another one of those things about society that will never make sense to me. It's almost like inflicting self-torture when there is another solution that is much more reasonable. If I had my way, I would supply each person with his or her personal rooster to wake up to in the morning. :-) If that didn't work, I would remove snooze buttons from each and every alarm clock, because it's painful enough to hear it once a day without hearing it every few minutes every morning *Yuck, what a way to start a day* Thank goodness I can wake up to a radio!
~em

...one week later...

2007-03-23T22:23:00.000-04:00

A week ago I was stressing over grad school, because I had turned down SU in hopes that I would get into JMU. I was also pissed that my bank account was running low and that there seemed to be no job in Rockingham County that would ever work with my hours or that I wouldn't kill myself later for working there. I was wondering when the heck I would hear about my senior comps and whether or not I did all right and not have to re-take them or something tragic :-) Today, a week later, it is amazing how much things can turn around. I got my acceptance letter from JMU today *YAY!!!!!!*, I have a prospective job lined up, and I got my senior comp grades. Today I "mountain biked" for the first time....in other words, I biked on a trail not paved or gravelled and got really muddy in the process :-) It was 80 degrees today, and I'm going home this weekend for a consultation for Lasic Eye Surgery *that's nerve racking, but after wearing glasses for 2 weeks I am not even as concerned about whether I'm eligible or not, I just wanna be able to wear contacts again!* Things are really falling into place, and now I just need a (cheap) place to live for the next 2 years and I'll be set! Whooooh, a weight has been lifted and I feel great. Now I'm off to read a pleasure book, no school work tonight! Hope all is well for everyone who might stumble across this!
~em
P.S. Guess I'll have to start adopting these colors!!! :-)

Safety

2007-03-16T23:36:00.000-04:00

My deposit for Shenandoah was due today. $500 to reserve a spot in the OT class of 2009. I didn't send it. I actually sent my response back as a "No, I will not be attending SU." It's pretty scary, because I still haven't actually heard from JMU. I'm stepping out on a huge limb right now, and I feel that God is challenging me to put my faith in Him and in others. The first question I get from every single person I tell is, "so what if you don't get into JMU?" The answer is, I don't know. Not that I haven't thought about it, but it scares me tremendously. What if? I decided, though, that even if I did not get into JMU, I don't think SU is where I need to be right now. Finances are very tight and somehow I don't see myself being in debt for school until I'm 55 years old. Also, I don't think I belong in Winchester. However, it is a huge gamble because I have thrown away my fall back safety. Now it's JMU, or it's nothing. My future lies in a single letter that I may or may not get. Scary. Amazingly, I'm feeling pretty good about it; I'm trusting that God will put me in the right place, I'm trusting other people to follow through and make the right decision, and I am trusting my instincts. I am trusting that I don't need my safety and that everything will work out just fine.
~em

"No More 3x5's"

2007-03-11T21:59:00.000-04:00

On my drive back to Bridgewater on Thursday afternoon, the sun was shining and making the car warm like in summer, and I felt that it was a good day for John Mayer. I had forgotten how much I had fallen in love with his mellow songs and how appropriate they were for the kind of mood I'm often in. Even though I've heard people say that he sounds like he has emphysema or has a throat full of marbles, :-) I think it's the lyrics of his songs that are so meaningful. In particular, I enjoyed his song "3x5." Here's a little piece of it:
"Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world through both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to lose my way, but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes - it brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
NO more 3x5's...
Today I finally overcame
Tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame."
The other night I tried to take a picture of the sunset behind the mountains. The sky was pink, and the mountains were blue and got progressively darker toward the horizon. However, in the picture it looked like a big blue blob with some semblance of a sun in the corner...it didn't do it justice at all. In the world of digital photography, camera phones, photo sharing on facebook and so forth, it's really easy to try to condense a scene into one little picture. And bein' a scrapbooking fool *hehe* I can definitely appreciate the desire to preserve memories as pictures, but sometimes the best memories remain in our minds.
Today Ben and I went to the arboretum, and he wanted to know if I wanted to take a camera. I declined, and I actually had a really nice time focusing on US rather than framing the perfect picture. The world is big and beautiful, and it's impossible to cram its wonder into a camera lens. Maybe it's time to enjoy the scenery for what it is rather than what it could be inside a picture frame.
~em

spring break days

2007-03-11T08:58:00.000-04:00

Typically I hear about all the great plans that seniors in college have for spring break....I mean it's their LAST spring break ever! So there's cruises, trips to cancun, laying on the beach and soaking up the sun, returning to bridgewater a glistening bronze color. But then there are those who return home and work over spring break. I would be in that last category.
It may sound pathetic, but I had an awesome time. Originally, I was planning to go to NYC for a few days, but in light of expensive grad schools looming, thought it would be better to make a little money than spend it. Fortunately, I love my job in Roanoke, and I had a ball with the girls I used to work with. It was like no time had passed in the last 1 1/2 years, and even though I was exhausted by the time I got home at night, I had a truly fun time. With this in mind, maybe my life calling is as a phlebotomist, not an OT *ha ha*
Friday we did plan a fun day and went to Timberline Resort to snowboard. When Ben and Chase had gone 2 days before, then temp was 10 degrees, it was icy and cold. By Friday, it was 50+, little wind, clear skies, just gorgeous. By the end of the day the snow had started to melt and stick a little bit, but it was a nice change from the Nut!
Yesterday my mom and Abbey came up to visit, so I went furniture shopping for Ab's new apartment she will share with 3 other girls who may or may not have much regard for nice things. It's tough buying cheap-o furniture. Actually, it's just tough finding it because everything we found was WAY too nice to be beaten up. Geez, why can't people just sell crap anymore? Last night, despite the drizzles, Ben and I grilled out and it gave me a little taste of summer with real grilled hamburgers. Mmmmm....I can't wait til that's a regular occurance again!
So now I am getting ready for church, and it's going to be another beautiful day! I'm hoping the temperatures get to stay high like they've been until it officially warms up for good, because Terisa has an Amaryllis that needs to bloom, and I have some sweaters that are dying to be packed up until next fall!!!
~em

Family Matters

2007-02-27T22:03:00.000-05:00

It's been a fantastic couple of days. I'm practically done with school stuff until after spring break, and the prospect of a vacation from school sounds so nice right now. Last year we did a lot of planning and booking to go to Florida over spring break, and this year I'm pretty much just scheduled to work with one day of snowboarding planned. I guess I should be a little bummed out that here it is, spring break of senior year, and I should be partying with MTV or something :-) and instead I'm gonna be chillin' with my family and making some money. Actually though I'm looking forward to it. I haven't really seen my family for any extended period of time since Christmas, and even though I won't have a stellar tan at the end of the week, I'm coming to realize that some things are more important than that. I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own big bed and having mom ask what I would really like to eat and getting my computer fixed.
I guess it comes down to this: I've really been learning the value of family lately. In high school I thought my parents were a nuisance and Abbey was nothing but an annoying little sister I had to drive to school every day. By college I was just pretty glad to not have to answer to anybody or give a detailed description of my plans for every evening. I had a much better time at college than at home, even to the point that after Freshman year I stayed in Broadway for days after school was out for the summer so I didn't have to go home. But lately I've been imagining what I would do without my family. What if something happened to my sister? Nobody's really known me as long as her, and when all else fails I know she'll be there for me. Mom is always the voice of reason and a great advice giver....who knows how many times I would have screwed up without her rationality, as frustrating as it may be sometimes. And no matter how busy Dad may be, he somehow always has time to work on my taxes, get my car fixed, and encourage me through some of my not-so-fun classes that he had to take 25 years ago. Ben's not technically family but I think of him the same way, and he's my best friend who always seems to know what kind of mood I'm in, whether I just want an advocate at the moment or someone to debate with me. He encourages me to try new things and is the most honest critic of my work, yet the first person to praise me when I've succeeded. It's my family who catches me every time I slip up, and I know they'll be behind me 100% of the way in the challenges of OT school. I can't wait to spend a week with the people I love the most.
~em

Life's a mess

2007-02-26T09:43:00.000-05:00

Aside from academia, one of the things college teaches us is how to live in harmony with other people. For 4 years students share living space...and practically everything else...with someone they may not even really know. It's challenging because someone may like different music or be excessively messy (as well as myself!), and skills like problem solving and resolution must be learned. What makes it really hard when living in an apartment is that no cleaning ladies are responsible for the kitchen, bathroom, or halls. Where we used to just have to clean one room, now we have 3 or 4 rooms to clean. It's easy to get really frustrated when that load is not shared. When I have brought this up in the past, one response I got was that it's hard to clean up a mess that is not completely yours. This gave me pause, because it's true....when I do the dishes, it's frustrating when they're not ALL mine. But I have to remember that there's a lot of times when somebody else does my dishes along with theirs, and they probably get frustrated too. It's all a cycle of helping one another so no one person has to do it all. So is it ok to not share the workload because the mess is not completely yours? Absolutely not. Throughout life, we're gonna do a lot of cleaning up that isn't just ours. When we get married, are we going to just wash our dishes and make our husband wash his? Will we not do our children's laundry because "we didn't dirty their clothes?" If we are ever in a management position, our job may consist of spending a lot of time fixing other people's "messes" when something goes wrong. There's no better time than now to start the practice of cleaning the bathroom, even though 3 other people use it too. Change the toilet paper roll, even though you're not the only person who partook of that roll. Don't let dishes sit in the sink for a week at a time, because while you may see no problem in it, other people have to deal with the mess, too. Take out the trash. We all generate trash and it shouldn't be up to one person to get rid of it before it starts stinking. Yes, while it may be annoying to clean up a mess that isn't 100% yours, that's life. Just remember how many times other people have cleaned up your part of the mess, and be thankful that they didn't have that same mentality.
~em

Ethiopian Coffee Ceremony

2007-02-22T22:46:00.000-05:00

Today we had anthropology class at Blue Nile, an Ethiopian restaurant in Harrisonburg. When we were told we were going for coffee, I was envisioning walking in, ordering something, sitting down with a styrofoam cup and a "CAUTION! HOT!" lid. So you can imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw cushions in a semi-circle around a short table full of 2 ounce cups and saucers on a woven rug. Hmmmm, where do I order my skim french vanilla steamer? So we congregate as a group for a little while, until a woman clad in traditional Ethiopian dress approached with a clay pot and handful of white beans. She explained that she would roast the coffee beans herself then brew the coffee and serve us. A few minutes later she brought out a skillet of roasted beans that we could smell long before she arrived back at our rug. She then brewed the coffee and brought out some Ethiopian "munchies" typically served with coffee: popcorn with raisins, and clove bread. Then a bowl of frankincence was lit, and she let the fragrance float around our circle while she served the coffee and we passed around the small cups. Being the typical American that I am, I was one of 2 people who requested cream and sugar. It was the best coffee I have ever had. I mean, it put Starbucks to shame. I'm not one to drink a cup of coffee and oooh and ahhh over the flavor, but this was truly great coffee! It makes me want to special order my coffee beans from Ethiopia and roast them myself every morning.
But what I loved the most about this was not the awesome coffee or the unique bread. It was the concept of "having a coffee" as a purely socializing event. Sure, here in the US we sometimes agree to meet at a coffee shop, but most often coffee is brewed in a pot at work, and stressed people fill their travel mugs throughout the day and guzzle the drink at their desks. Or coffee is picked up at the drive through on the way to work or class in the morning to serve as a "wake up call" for the day. However, in Ethiopia, when someone is invited over for coffee, they should intend to stay for several hours. Little breads and snacks are served and it is nothing short of a social party. Little coffee cups are refilled a few times, but coffee is not used as a fuel to get through the rest of the day. In fact, many times a coffee meeting may lead to dinner and more socializing late into the night. It's a shame that we have been brought to the point of freeze dried coffee grounds in a Folger's can that is quickly brewed every morning and drunk as a type of ritual rather than as something to savor and enjoy with friends. Too bad some of those traditions can not be reborn here; we could do a lot more socializing and drink way better coffee :-)
~em

Displaced

2007-02-20T19:54:00.000-05:00

In an initiation ritual, such as a "rite of passage," there is something called a Liminal Phase. This is the stage where a person is inbetween two stages of life. Adolescence is a liminal phase between childhood and adulthood. In anthropology, the liminal phase is when a person is inbetween two worlds....perhaps the person is from America but studying in Africa, yet not really a part of African culture so he is in between the two cultures. It is a stage accompanied by unsuredness and fear because the things that give you identity are someplace else.
I'm kinda feeling that way, and maybe it's due to some degree of senioritis, but I'm not getting a clear sense of where I belong, what world I'm a part of. I'm so attached to this area, but this is not really where my family is or where I have a place to live. Yet I don't really feel "at home" where my family is anymore because I haven't lived there in 4 years. I spend a lot of my time at Ben's place, so it is almost like a second home, yet I have none of my things there and no place to really stay there. If I end up going to Shenandoah, will my home be in Winchester? I feel so displaced from any real home because I've shared living space with other people for so long. Maybe this is how most seniors feel, but it's kinda scary not having a concrete domicile. If I got kicked out of Bridgewater tonight, where would I go? Where will I go when I graduate? Agggh, so much unknown, it's kinda tough not being in control all the time....
~em

Global Warming and the Bound Year

2007-02-18T21:57:00.000-05:00

For the past few years, I've been noticing a trend of warm weather. It seems that every winter there is less and less snow....three years ago we had some snow over thanksgiving, last year we didn't really get snow until Christmas, and this year we just started getting weather cold enough for snow in the past month. On New Year's Day of this year, I had on a sleeveless shirt and was quite comfortable in the 60+ degree weather. So I was on that wagon of folks thinking that we were slowly destroying our ozone layer enough that it was affecting the weather.
Right now it is 9 degrees outside, it's been flurrying on and off all day, only adding to the ground cover of ice that is lingering from last week. I'm beginning to rethink the global warming, cause if this is it, it's not worth worrying about. Instead, I am postulating another theory. What if somehow when the "civilized" astonomers established our calendars thousands of years ago, they somehow miscalculated and time got ahead of itself. Kinda like the leap year, except we've lept too far so that we are ahead of the season. Now on December 25th, we think we should have a White Christmas, but really the season is still the middle of November. Now we get the worst of our winter weather in February or March, which should really be December. Whoa....
So I guess instead of a leap year we just need a "bound year," less than a leap but still moving forward, say, every eight years instead of four? Hmmm....maybe I should copyright this idea in case it turns out to be true.... it's something to consider. :-) At the very least, I'm writing off global warming as a serious possibility, and in the meantime I'll bundle up with a lot of layers!
~em

Baby it's cold outside...

2007-02-15T21:06:00.000-05:00

I woke up on Valentine's Day to see trees bent over and a solid sheet of ice covering sidewalks and roads. Fortunately, the ice got us a day off, so Ben and I were able to spend the entire day together! He came over in the morning with a fabulous "bowl" of hand-chosen flowers (no display of fake roses in an orthopedic shoe for $40)...and we made breakfast together. Then we went to WildWood to get some pictures of the ice, and while we were there the sun came out and everything started melting. Chunks of ice were falling down out of the trees all around us, and I was just waiting to get stabbed in the neck with a falling icicle like those freak accidents you occasionally hear about. Fortunately, nothing too traumatic happened and we got some very cool pictures. Ben also got me some awesome Daisy Duke shoes, and I wish it was warm enough to wear them...people may target Valentine's Day as nothing more than the day when Hallmark makes millions and flowers are overpriced, but I think it's rather nice having a day dedicated to spending time and appreciating the one you love.
Now the ice has melted and refrozen a few times, and Ben's driveway is as treacherous as ever. It's so nice to be snuggled up with him on these cold days and take a break from the world every now and then. Tomorrow is Friday and I feel in need of a weekend. Have a safe night!
~em

Snow-y Day

2007-02-07T09:33:00.000-05:00

Last night it snowed the kind of snow that is really only in movies. Driving through it looked like diving through glitter, and it just sparkled on the sidewalks and in the trees. It was the snow that sticks in your hair, and the way it came down looked like something straight out of White Christmas. Ben and I took a little walk in the snow and took some pictures (we have to capture those few memories of snow from this year), and I went to bed wondering how great it would look when I woke up.

This morning I woke up to the sound of snow plows outside the window on the sidewalk. The perfect snow with a few footprints was completely transformed into clumps carelessly strewn into the mulch beside the sidewalks. We got an email saying that school was delayed 2 hours. yay.
Why is Bridgewater College so adamant about NOT cancelling class? "It's a residential college"..."residents should be able to make it to class." Would it be too much to ask to give us one day to enjoy the snow before you go plowing through it will the little bulldozer things that tear up the sidewalks??? The last time school was cancelled because of snow was freshman year. Like Terisa said, it would be nice to finish up our last year with at least one more snow day. There was so much we could have done today if we would not have had class. Instead, I'm wondering what shoes would be appropriate for me to not bust my tail on my way to class. I'm wondering if I can get my car out of the parking lot to go to Staunton. I'm wondering why I can't be a little kid anxiously awaiting the cancellation report on the radio, then garbing up and playing outside until I'm too numb to talk coherently. Man this being an adult thing is rough sometimes....
Bundling up and heading to class. grr....
~em

UN-technologically challenged

2007-02-02T17:09:00.000-05:00

My mom just recently learned how to type. She knows how to log onto the internet and check her email. She may have a little difficulty if there is an attachment though. This Christmas she ordered things online for the first time. But that's pretty much the extent of her technology skills. Most people would call her technologically challenged, and to the modern day society, she presents a hassle by slowing down the "fast" culture. However, my mom writes wonderful creative letters updating me on the goings-on at home, she makes home-made cards and calls me for half hour chats every now and then. There might just be something to this lack of technology thing...
Last night Ben and I had a discussion about how the internet *instant messenger in particular* has contributed to the poor communication skills of our generation. In 300 years when people go back to find our how we lived in 2007, there will not be as much written information to go by. People write blogs online instead of journals (though I am guilty of this, old habits die hard so I do keep a hard copy of every entry!), and it pains me to think about how much information would be lost if suddenly cyberspace did not exist. It would be like a complete generation had disappeared.
Entire courtships happen through technology now. Forget writing letters and taking walks in the evenings to talk about the day. Now it's just a text message on a cell phone - how horribly unromantic.
I remember one time when I was a kid I lied to my Dad about something. Mom found out and made me call him at work to apologize immediately. I hated every second of it and felt so bad, but I learned how to apologize and genuinely mean it. Now, I've actually had apologies through IM and emails. How meaningful.
It's so easy to not have to keep up with people now. Facebook tells all, right? It's the ultimate stalkernet. I know the relationship status of most of my friends, not because they feel the need to let me know in person...but because I just get on facebook and see the broken heart emblem or read an away message.
What is the world coming to??? People don't even know how to speak courtiously on the phone, much less in person.
While I am grateful for technology in many ways (it's nice to be able to access the web for quick information and type a paper without whiteout for a typewriter), but it's sad to see how challenged people are without the aid of technology. Howbout a handwritten letter for a change, or a conversation in person rather than through little ringing boxes on a computer screen. Now, I need to go so I can print out this blog in the event someone would erase the internet overnight. Ciao!
~em

End of a Book

2007-01-31T23:39:00.000-05:00

I've recently had time to do a bit of pleasure reading, something that hasn't happened since Nutrition class of sophomore year *I got A LOT of reading done during that hour and a half of sheer agony...* And something I love about reading is the satisfaction of finishing a book. I feel a real sense of accomplishment, like I am a very member of the cast and it is I in the grand finale of events. It's like I got a personal invitation into the lives of the characters, and for a brief period of time I get to share their adventures. However, it is for these same reasons that I sometimes hate finishing a book. It's like meeting someone really fun on vacation, and then parting ways at the end of the week, knowing you'll never see that person again. I have a sense of pride when the character I was routing for wins, but it's also sad in a way because the game is over and there is nothing more to be excited about. I dread getting into the groove of another author's writing style and meeting a whole new cast of characters with different problems. But it is once again the beckoning of a new adventure that pulls me into a new story line. And the pay off is usually good because I get to know another group of people and typically end up cheering on another protagonist before it's all over. Books are a great thing...thank goodness I know how to read :-)
On a totally different note, one of the books I read and would definitely recommend was "The Death and Life of Superman." I would consider myself a Superman fan, although I'm probably a little more partial to Batman because he's a little more mysterious and hard to figure out.....but Ben rather reminds me of a Clark Kent/Superhero type so there's a soft place in my heart for Superman too. Anyway, in this book Superman is killed in the process of defeating Metropolis' most dreadful creature yet, Doomsday. When I was telling people about the book, I got a lot of grief : "What? Superman doesn't die!" Typically people thought this author was ridiculous to write about Superman dying. And I can understand the confusion. However, after a bit of research I learned that Superman did in fact die in the comics - it's not just this twisted author's rendition. Maybe we didn't see the fall of Superman in the movies, but next time someone suggests that it can't happen, I will refer them to the 1993 comic strip. Fortunately, Kryptonians don't pass like normal people so it all ended well....
I know this blog kinda sounds like a public service announcement for the promotion of reading in schools, but it really is great. :-) You should all try a book or two...
~em
p.s. I want milk.

Disturbing the Peace

2007-01-27T10:24:00.000-05:00

To many people, especially "out-of-towners," Rockingham County, Virginia is a rural, peaceful place. For those who grew up in this area, we can see how much this area has grown up and become less rural, but it is still "Cornfield Central," as one of my professors aptly named it.
But I think that the reason that many people appreciate this area is because it is so peaceful. You can drive for several miles without seeing another car, and the air is void of those industrial city noises. At night you can see stars because they are not obstructed by light pollution. It's nice to see houses that have yards, instead of as many buildings crammed into one piece of land as possible.
So I have to wonder, if this area is so peaceful, why the rednecks of the area insist of having these horrendous jacked up trucks that make more noise going down the road than a tractor trailor truck!!! Not only is it economically selfish for one person to have a vehicle like that in our present state of oil crises (supposedly our oil reserves are going to run out in the next 10 years...), but it is also so disturbing to be walking to class and hear a noise that sounds like a jet about to crash in the yard, only to find out that it is some hick guy in a truck thinking that he must own the road cause he's got the biggest, baddest vehicle on it. Little does he realize that people are not looking because it's such an awesome ride, but because it is so repulsive.
Last I checked, I thought people bought trucks for a purpose...to haul things, or get pickup loads of gravel, mulch, etc. Just like it is ridiculous to lower and pimp out a truck, it is equally ridiculous to jack it up with a loud exhaust just to drive around town and make a lot of noise.
My personal theory is that the people who feel insecure and tiny compesate by buying a vehicle so large they can barely see over the steering wheel and that leaves a trail of black smoke and suit behind it. And, can I just ask why the majority of trucks around here need a grill guard? I understand there are deer, but come on, let's face it: if you're gonna run over a deer in a truck that big, it's probably going to go right under the tires. You don't really need to rely on a few bars of steel to protect you.
The ironic thing about these monstrous trucks is that most people who drive that crap are people from this area, and proud of it! I would think if you're so proud of being from here, you would try to preserve the wonderful facets of this area a little better. Let us have a little peace and quiet, please! Thank you.
~em

Downer

2007-01-22T21:43:00.000-05:00

We got a fabulous 2 inches of snow yesterday...the first major snow of the year! It's mostly gone by tonight, but it was nice to see solid white for a bit. Despite how excited I was about snow, it never fails that as soon as things start going so well, something starts to go downhill shortly after. I feel like I'm at a stalemate with life...I have so many major decisions to make in the next little bit, major decisions that will affect the rest of my life. I'm about to be dependent of my parents financially, which is REALLY scary, considering I didn't even know what to do with my W2 form I got today. The thought of thousands of dollars in school loans is frightening, particularly without a full time job. Heck, just paying a reservation deposit for grad school is about to drain me. Ben and I are doing great but we're kinda in a slump too cause we know we're gonna be together but it certainly isn't happening anytime soon, so in the meantime I will spend every evening at his house, and every night he'll bring me back to the great company of my laptop. Yuck...is it weird that I feel homesick after 4 years of being on my own???
~em