First things first. When I was researching vitamin and mineral supplements for children I learned that, according to the Canadian Foundation for Dietetic Research, more than 10% of Canadians don’t get enough calcium or vitamin D. That’s a significant minority of us. You’re more likely to experience calcium deficiency if you’re lactose intolerant or have a dairy allergy, if you’re a post-menopausal woman, if you’re a vegetarian, or if you’re a woman who exercises heavily. As well, certain foods and beverages can interfere with calcium absorption including tea, red wine, coffee and chocolate.

All right, we all need more calcium. But how much, exactly? According to the National Institutes for Health kids aged four to eight and adults aged 19 to 50 need 1000mg every day. Kids aged 9-18 need more – 1300mg each day – because they’re growing. And women aged 51 and over need 1200mg each day, because of that whole post-menopausal thing. Basically, when you’re not producing as much estrogen, you don’t absorb calcium as efficiently. To give you an idea of how much you’re getting through your food one serving of milk, cheese or yogurt contains about 300-400mg of calcium, one serving of canned salmon contains 150-200mg of calcium, and one serving of kale contains about 90mg.

When you consider the amount of calcium in the food you eat, it’s no surprise that many of us don’t get enough. This is why taking a calcium supplement may make sense. Recently I’ve tried the Chocolate Fudge Brownie Chewable from (… wait for it) Swiss Natural. Each soft chew contains 600mg of calcium and 400 I.U. of vitamin D. Plus they’re delicious. They’re recommended for adults and children age six and up, and I can tell you that you will not have to fight with your kids to take these. In fact, it may be exactly the opposite – ours are under lock and key to keep the kids out of them.

As I said, we all know how important calcium is, for us and our children. No one wants to develop osteoporosis, or suffer from stress fractures, because they’re not getting enough. If you’re eating lots of calcium-rich foods, that’s great. If you’re not – or you’re not sure – a supplement may make sense. If you find yourself in that boat, you may want to check out what Swiss Natural has to offer by following them on Facebook.

Now, I want to hear from you. How do make sure you’re getting enough calcium? And do you think you could consume 11 servings of kale every day to get the recommended 1000mg? If so, I’m super-impressed!

Disclosure: As a Swiss Natural Ambassador, I was paid to write this post.

It happens slowly, almost without your notice, but that baby grows. And grows and grows and grows. After a few months of growing, she develops enough hand-eye coordination to reach out and grab a toy. You are a first time parent, so you pull out your video camera and capture the moment.

And then, that baby grows even more. She starts doing things like rolling over and crawling and pulling herself up to standing. At some point, she’s even big enough that she can walk holding on to a push toy. Once again, you pull out the video camera. You take the job of documenting a childhood seriously, yo.

Does that baby stop growing? No, she does not. In fact, soon she’s grown so much that she’s now a toddler. She takes her first steps, and her second steps, and her third steps. But for a while, she mostly prefers to crawl. After all, she’s gotten pretty good at that. But that doesn’t last long, and one day she puts her mind to it and just starts walking. What do you do? That’s right, you pull out the video camera.

From here on in, the growing just picks up steam. Your child sails through toddlerhood and preschoolerdom. Along the way she learns important life skills like using the potty and sharing and (dare to dream!) sleeping for more than three hours at a stretch. Eventually she’s grown so much that she starts school, and the learning just explodes. She picks up letters and numbers. She learns to swim and pump on the swing. She starts to read simple books. And then, one day, she ups the ante. Walking isn’t good enough for her anymore – she’s ready to ride.

How did we get from that teeny-tiny baby to here? I had a front row seat for the whole thing, and I’m still not entirely sure. All I know is that I hope she doesn’t ride away too quickly.

It’s been a while since I’ve done any sort of giveaway on Strocel.com, and Mother’s Day seemed like the perfect time to throw one together. I have some books and a DVD I received as promotional items and I’m using them to help share the love with my fellow moms. Or dads. Or interested readers. I actually don’t discriminate, when it comes to giveaway winners. If you are a childless bachelor, you too could win some books written with moms in mind. I bet you can’t wait! Here’s what’s up for grabs:

• For my Children: A Mother’s Journal of Memories, Wishes and Wisdom by Dionna Ford
• The Happiest Mom by Meagan Francis
• Bad Mommy by Willow Yamauchi (I’ll be sharing an interview with Willow in an upcoming podcast)
• Everybody Loves Babies DVD, which came in the same prize pack as the dreaded stretch mark cream
• A gift pack from Rogers Chocolates in Victoria, BC

Fun, right?

I’m going to make this giveaway easy on everyone, including myself. Because, really, who wants a whole bunch of extra work on Mother’s Day? To win, just leave me a comment on this post before Monday, May 14, 2012 at 9:00pm Pacific time. I’ll draw one winner at random for the whole enchilada. Easy-peasy, right?

Also, whether you win this giveaway or not, you may want to head over to Crafting my Life. Today I’m launching my new, totally free, download on that site. It’s called “Four Ways to Kick-Start a Life of Intention”. This Mother’s Day, do something for yourself by taking some steps to create positive change in your life. Or lounge around on the couch all day, and get up on Monday and start taking steps towards positive change. After all, you’ve probably earned a little bit of couch time.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Chard by Miho Shimamura

The Royal City Farmers Market hasn’t been around that long. Jen talked about how the market got its start, and how it’s grown. She shared some special programs they have run, talked about how they find vendors, and shared the inside scoop on how a market operates. If you’re into local food, you like to support your local economy, or you’re just curious about how a local farmers’ market operates, you’ll want to listen to what Jen had to say. I’m eagerly waiting for my own local farmers’ market to open after speaking with her. Listen to the podcast here:

If you’re in the Vancouver area, I also wanted to highlight an event that will give you a chance to enjoy some great food and support the Royal City Farmers Market all at the same time. The market is holding its fifth annual fundraiser on May 31, 2012 starting at 6:00pm at Wild Rice in New Westminster. The talented Chef Todd Bright has developed unique dishes featuring the best that the market’s vendors have to offer. Sounds pretty fabulous to me.

Next week on the Strocel.com podcast I’ll be sharing an interview with the amazing Susan Washington, a success coach. I am currently working with her, and she’s helping me to live out my word for 2012, which is clarity. If you could use a little more clarity in your own life, you’ll want to tune in. Subscribe to the Strocel.com podcast in iTunes, and you won’t miss a minute!

Last week I made the trip to the mailbox at the local UPS store where I get my business mail, and discovered that I had a big “Pregnancy Survival Kit” waiting for me, promoting the new What to Expect When You’re Expecting movie. I didn’t request the kit, and in fact until it arrived I didn’t know about the movie. The truth is I haven’t even read the book, since nobody I know had much good to say about it. But when free stuff arrives in my mailbox, I have to check it out no matter what.

The kit contained an apple pie (which my gluten-eating kids loved), a pickle, a pregnancy test (they clearly saw me coming), a Babies DVD, some hair removal products and stretch mark cream. While there are certainly environmental implications of sending an unsolicited pregnancy survival kit to bloggers, that’s actually not what I’m talking about today. Today, I’m focusing on the stretch mark cream.

I’ve never actually purchased – or used – stretch mark cream. During my pregnancies, I didn’t have visible stretch marks. After my babies were born, once my belly deflated, I got stretch marks. But since I didn’t have any particular dryness or itching when I was all great with child, it never occurred to me to rub lotion on my blooming belly. Now that I’m far more aware of some of the concerns about the chemicals in personal care products, I’m even less inclined to use most lotions, though. Let’s look at the ingredients on the stretch mark cream for a moment.

Just looking at the label, a few of my enviro-mama alarm bells start ringing. First, there are a lot of ingredients that I can’t identify. That’s not a great sign. Second, there are a number of ingredients I can identify that are concerning. Fragrance is a catch-all phrase, so that companies don’t have to disclose their secret scent formulation. However, many fragrances contain phthalates and other nasty chemicals. I also know that there are concerns with so-called “parabens”, which I see on that label. When I look the stretch mark cream in the Skin Deep database I see that it has a rating of six, which means it has moderate health concerns associated with it.

Now I have this unopened bottle of stretch mark cream that I’m not going to use, both because I’m not in a position where I would be using stretch mark cream, and because I have concerns about the safety of this product. The question this raises is what the heck do I do with it, anyway? On the one hand, I’m sure someone out there would use it. On the other hand, I’m not sure I want to give someone (who’s probably a pregnant woman) a product that I don’t consider safe enough to use myself. If I believe that there are concerns with this, can I ethically pass it along to another person?

I have, more than once, donated items that I don’t want to use myself. I did this, for instance, when I was clearing my home of PVC. My rationale at that time was that if someone is going to buy a yoga mat, anyway, they may as well use my second-hand one instead of buying a new product with a higher environmental impact. There’s something about stretch mark cream that feels different, though. I suppose that, at least in part, it’s because personal care products feel more personal. Thrift stores don’t accept stretch mark cream, so I’d need to find a friend or family member who wanted it. This means I’m not just giving away something I don’t want, I’m giving someone I know and care about a product that I think is unsafe.

It’s still true, of course, that if someone wants stretch mark cream it’s better for the planet (and their pocketbook) if they use mine. It’s also true that it’s not up to me to decide what products someone else uses. But the closer the connection to me, the more awkward it feels to give the stuff away.

I wonder what you would do, in this situation. If you found yourself with a personal care product that you felt was possibly unsafe, what would you do with it? Would you dispose of it safely? Would you let someone else get some use out of it? Or would you debate the issue, avoiding a decision, until the product expired and you could get rid of it without guilt? Tell me, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Update: I was contacted by Micki Bendetti on behalf of Palmer’s. Here’s what she had to say, in part:

The good news about the concerns you expressed (specifically – parabens and phthalates) is that we have just launched new, enhanced formulations combining natural ingredients and cutting edge science. All the advanced stretch formulas are hypoallergenic, paraben-free, phthalate-free and dermatologist tested. Our targeted stretch cocktail combines superior natural ingredients with cutting edge science.These key ingredients includes Collagen, Elastin, Centella Asiatica, Argan Oil, Sweet Almond Oil and a proven elastase inhibitor, collagen boosting ingredient and skin tightener/firmer for improved results. Even better, the new products that include Massage Lotion, Massage Cream and Tummy Butter for Stretch Marks all feature advanced paraben-free and phthalate-free formulas, addressing the needs of the changing global environment and the growing concerns of pregnant and non-pregnant consumers.

So, there you have it. We have concerns, and the company is responding. I think it’s a step in the right direction, don’t you?

For me, meeting the Premier is not about politics. My own politics are always ambiguous at best, and I don’t really support any particular party. For me, meeting the Premier is about having the chance to share my concerns and questions with a decision-maker, regardless of what party that person belongs to. It’s also about being able to snap photos like these:

And most especially this one, of the Premier catching a whiff of that sweet baby smell courtesy of Josie, daughter of Andrea:

Pamela Martin, iconic-Vancouver-journalist-turned-director-of-outreach, reached out to Christine Pilkington, my boss at VancouverMom.ca about setting up a roundtable with Vancouver-area mom bloggers. Christine included me on the list. I knew the invitation was coming, and when I received it, I jumped on it. I talked my mom into picking my daughter Hannah up from school so that I could attend, and I made the trip into the big city.

For just over an hour, the moms in the room voiced their concerns to the Premier. She listened and took notes. A number of issues were raised, including housing affordability (Vancouver is expensive, yo), transportation, health care for new parents, and funding and access to services for kids with special needs. Overall, I think two main themes emerged:

• We need better programs to support moms who are advancing their education and / or starting a business. Grants, tax credits and the like could go a long way towards helping moms support their families and employ others – and at a fraction of the cost of most business development grants.
• We need quality, accessible, affordable childcare. Full stop.

Will anything come out of the conversation we had with the Premier? I don’t know. I do know that not many other political figures have reached out to the mom blogging community. In an of itself, that felt pretty cool. Most of the time I sit by myself in my family room, sending words out into the void. Having the ear of the Premier definitely upped the ante in terms of sharing my story. It also gave me a great chance to talk about government and citizenship with my kids. Whether we swayed Premier Clark to re-vamp BC’s childcare system or not, I know that my kids are watching me, and I want them to learn to say yes to opportunities that come their way, too.

If you had two minutes with the Premier (or Governor, President or Prime Minister), what issues would you raise? And what opportunities are just too good for you to pass up? I’d love to hear!

That phrase, casually planted at the beginning of a paragraph to justify the idea that your mom would want you to make a charitable donation in her name, stuck out for me. It was the way it was thrown in there without any supporting evidence. It was meant to be a statement of fact, which we would all understand. It reminded me of a quotation that also gets my goat, which is thrown about a lot as Mother’s Day nears. It’s this one:

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

- Tenneva Jordan

I have two children. I understand that a certain amount of self-sacrifice is called for in parenting. The younger your children are, the more immediate their needs are, and the more you’re going to play second fiddle. There’s no way you can tell a newborn baby that she’s going to need to wait until you finish your lunch to eat. And when she wakes up in the middle of the night, you’re going to wake up with her, whether you want to or not. That’s just the deal, and there’s no use fighting it.

All the same, those quotes irk me for two main reasons:

1. The quotes are all about moms, and not at all about dads. Would anyone dream of sending out a Father’s Day gift suggestion containing the phrase fatherhood and selflessness go hand-in-hand? I highly doubt it. This double-standard is unfair to both genders.
2. The quotes perpetuate the idea that as mothers, our own needs don’t matter. Our needs do matter. What’s more, when we’re meeting our own needs (at least most of the time), we’re better parents. Martyring yourself on the altar of motherhood isn’t good for you, and it doesn’t set a good example for your kids.

The stereotype of the self-sacrificing mother pairs with the stereotype of the nagging mother. She’s the woman who says things like, “I was in labour with you for three days. I thought I was going to die. And now you say this to me?!?” The selflessness in this scenario becomes transactional. I do nice things for you in order to have power over you. I give up my own needs so that you will do what I want you to do. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be that mother. I want to meet my own needs, so that I’m not relying on my kids to meet them in a tangled web of guilt.

As I said, it’s true that there’s a certain amount of self-sacrifice in parenthood, especially early on. But the wonderful thing about children is that they get bigger. As they do, you’re able to re-assert your needs. This doesn’t mean that you won’t sometimes choose to be selfless. We can choose to be selfless with many people. We can choose to be selfless in our relationships with our partners, our friends, and our co-workers if we want to. There’s a big difference here, though, and it boils down to choice.

When you’re doing something of your own free will, because you enjoy it, because it feeds your soul, or because you believe it’s the right thing to do, it builds you up. On the other hand when you ignore your own needs and desires because you believe that you must, or you believe that you don’t matter, it tears you down. I would argue the notion that a “good mother” denies herself pie, or must necessarily be selfless, falls into the second category. They’re arbitrary ways that we’re led to believes mothers (and not fathers) must deny themselves.

My own mother sacrificed a lot for her children. She was a single mom, and she worked hard to ensure that my sister and I were able to do things like participate in extra-curricular activities, go on trips, and have some nice things. But when I was 16 I had an exchange with her that stuck with me. I didn’t understand it at the time, but now I do. But before I share my mother’s lesson on motherhood and meeting your own needs, I need to talk about black jellybeans.

Black jellybeans are a polarizing force. You’re either the sort of person who loves them or hates them, I think. Growing up, my mother, my sister and I were all black jellybean lovers. When we had jellybeans, there was always a battle for the coveted black ones. On that day when I was 16, we had jellybeans, and I had eaten all of mine. My mother, however, had a couple left and one of them was black. I tried to convince her to give it to me. This is when she said something that stuck with me to this day. I’d like to share her quote with you as an alternative to the quote about pie and self-sacrifice:

I am your mother. I love you dearly. I would lay down my life for you in a heartbeat. But this is my black jellybean, and you can’t have it.

- Laura Gannon

Selflessness, when freely chosen, can be a great thing. But it shouldn’t come at the cost of meeting your own needs, and it shouldn’t be an expectation that comes with any particular role. So I say cut those four slices of pie in half, or give the little kids smaller servings. Find ways to creatively meet everyone’s needs. And keep your black jellybeans (and your good chocolate) for yourself.

What do you think? How do you feel about the idea that motherhood and selflessness must always go together? And how do you meet your own needs while caring for others? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

I think of my birthday as my own personal new year. It’s when my calendar changes from 35 to 36. Last year I marked the occasion by setting some personal intentions. I threw some stuff out to the universe and myself, in an effort to send a message about what I wanted to see in the year ahead. I said that I would write a book proposal, grow watermelons, decide what to do with my wedding dress, stay in a hotel with my husband and no children, drink more tea and attend BlogHer in San Diego, amongst other things. But the most important item on the list was this one:

• Not beat myself up if I don’t do everything on this list.

Did I do everything on my list? No, I did not. In fact, I only completed seven of the sixteen things I listed. Still, that’s seven things that I hadn’t done as of this time last year, so that’s something. Plus, I also did a whole lot of stuff that isn’t on that list.

In spite of my failing grade, I’m making another list this year. I think the list is more like a list of aspirations or ideas than a to-do list I must complete. It’s about setting a tone, if you will. I think that’s a valuable exercise, no matter what comes of it. So without further ado, here’s my list for this year.

What I Will do at 36

• Create a work space that is not shared with my kids’ toys, so that I can go inside it and be in work mode, not mom mode.
• Visit New York with my husband, and go to BlogHer.
• Grow quinoa (the seedlings are already coming up!).
• Learn how to walk in high heels.
• Source some non-toxic makeup for myself, just in case I want to be fancy and stuff.
• Sew myself a dress from a vintage pattern.
• Start a regular meditation practice.
• Take a pottery class.
• Spend more time at the playground with my children.
• Swim in the ocean.
• Bake cookies.
• Teach my daughter Hannah to knit.
• Teach my son Jacob to wipe his own bum (if I succeed at this one, the only bum I wipe will be my own, such liberation!).
• Ride a roller coaster.
• Get more sleep – at least seven and a half hours each night.
• Take a fabulous vacation with my family.
• Not beat myself up if I don’t do everything on this list.

What do you want to do with your next year on earth? I love it if you’d play along in honour of my birthday!

Recently, I had the chance to connect with Katharine Carol, who’s the Artistic and Executive Director for the Vancouver International Children’s Festival. She gave me a behind-the-scenes view of how the festival operates. I got the scoop on how the festival finds new performers, how the venue is set up, what you can expect when you visit, and what some of the highlights will be this year. We discussed how the ongoing teachers’ job action here in British Columbia has impacted the festival, which relies heavily on school groups. I even got a preview of what they’ve got in store for next year, since they’re already starting to think ahead.

If you’re curious about arts and culture, you’d like an insider’s view of how a large family event like the Vancouver International Children’s Festival runs, or you’re a local who wants to know more about this year’s festival, you’ll want to listen to my conversation with Katharine:

Next week on the Strocel.com podcast I’ll be sharing an interview with my friend Jen Arbo, who works with the Royal City Farmers’ Market in New Westminster, a Vancouver suburb. If you’re a farmers’ market fan, as I am, you’ll really enjoy hearing how a relatively new market has taken root and flourished in its community. Subscribe to the Strocel.com podcast in iTunes, and you won’t miss a minute!

I was very successful at the once per day meat rule, on the the whole. I even managed to swing a completely meat-free day at least once a week for most of the month. There were two times I fell down though:

1. While I was out of town for the weekend, I ended up splitting a meat-covered pizza with my husband for lunch, and then eating meat again at dinner. Oops.
2. I had poutine for lunch one day, and then engaged in a long personal debate with myself about whether or not gravy is meat. My final verdict is that yes, it probably is, so that was another day when I ate meat twice.

Still, I consumed less than 30 servings of meat during the month of April, so I would call it a success. Now on to my goal for May, which is getting rid of paper towels in my home.

Paper is made using renewable resources. It’s also biodegradable and recyclable. However, this does not mean that it’s without environmental impact. Paper towels are no exception. In the US, 2% of landfill mass is taken up by paper towels. Plus there’s the carbon footprint of harvesting trees and turning them into paper towels, wrapping them in plastic, and delivering them to you. Even buying paper towels made from recycled paper has an impact. If I could find a reusable alternative to paper towels, I would be reducing my environmental impact.

Years ago, we stopped using paper napkins, and switched to cloth. Our cloth napkins have lasted us about a decade, and they’re still going strong. It seems to me that we should be able to do the same thing for paper towels. I already use tea towels in situations that I used to use paper towels, and that works well. Or, at least, it works well most of the time. But there are still situations when you need something a little more absorbent than a tea towel. When I was shopping at Whole Foods, some sponge cloths caught my eye, and I thought they might fit the bill. The package even said that “one sponge cloth outlasts 17 rolls of paper towels”. I was sold.

I’ve packed my paper towels away, and this month I will see how well I can get along without them. Will the sponge cloth and tea towel combo work to fill the void? I’ll be sure to report back and let you know.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your tips for ditching paper towels. Have you done it? What substitutes do you use for wet and sticky messes? Share your tips in the comments!

So, without further ado, here are some things that I learned in April.

April Monthly Review

1. I discovered that cantaloupe seedlings smell pretty much exactly like cantaloupe, the fruit. Something about this amuses me no end.

2. I re-learned the joys of the walk-in clinic when I was hit by a bladder infection. I also re-learned the joys of the bladder infection. Such fun! Only not. (I am fine now, thanks for asking.)

3. I found out how much rejection can sting when I returned home from two nights away and my three-year-old was sad that it was me, and not his grandmother.

4. I discovered that it’s difficult to give up both meat and gluten, when I found myself reading labels in the vegetarian section of the grocery store as part of my One Green Thing for the month. It seems that many meat substitutes rely heavily on wheat.

5. I toured a shipping terminal, and discovered that I live only a few kilometers away from the largest sulphur export terminal in the whole freaking world. You want sulphur? Port Moody, British Columbia has sulphur.

6. I discovered that when you put plants in a planter box, and you live in a rainy climate, you had better make sure there is a drainage hole on the bottom, or your little seedlings will drown. So sorry, little plants!

7. I attended my first Easter egg hunt – at least since I was a very young toddler, myself. So! Much! Mayhem! But the chocolate makes it all worthwhile.

8. In a month of many doctor’s visits, I learned that they don’t treat sinusitis in a seven-year-old until at least three weeks in, because it generally resolves on its own. My daughter’s did resolve on its own, and thankfully it didn’t take three weeks. That much missed school would have made everyone miserable, I think.

9. I re-discovered both the joys (pretty!) and the agony (they stick all over your car and don’t come off!) of cherry blossom season in Vancouver.

10. I experienced the joys of Whole Foods, when I visited the store for the first time to attend a blogger event. I am happy to say that I did not, in fact, actually spend my whole paycheque. I was actually quite smitten. Too bad it’s not in my neighbourhood.

What did you learn in April? Please share! If you’d like to play along by writing a review post of your own, link to it in the comments!