Top Jokes: now that's humor!

WE ARE MOVING

2011-10-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

We are moving to a different URL guys... the new site will be:

www.crackpile.com

This means more updates and more fun!!!

Thank you for your continued patronage.

How to Troll a Hipster

2011-09-27T22:38:00.001-07:00

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School Supplies: Freshman Vs. Senior

2011-09-27T03:16:00.000-07:00

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Just at the Right Time

2011-09-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

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Great Sticker Placement

2011-09-18T03:22:00.000-07:00

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Boat! Land!

2011-09-10T22:33:00.001-07:00

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Why Dogs Have Short Lives

2011-09-07T01:00:00.001-07:00

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Firefighter Exam

2011-09-05T05:04:00.001-07:00

Mega Bass: 2000 watts

2011-08-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

Steve and Bill

2011-06-27T10:30:00.001-07:00

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Helping Japan One Text at a Time

2011-06-22T20:58:00.000-07:00

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Whatcha Gonna Do About It?

2011-06-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

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Hello?

2011-06-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

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Once Upon a Time

2011-06-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

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Thumbs Up for Rock and Roll

2011-06-03T14:13:00.001-07:00

Poker Face

2011-05-27T08:20:00.001-07:00

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Superman the Wife Shaver

2011-05-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

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Quick Management Potential Quiz

2011-05-20T03:36:00.001-07:00

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "manager." The questions are not that difficult.

How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong Answer : Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer : Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.

The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.
This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.

There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting!
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management consultants have the brains of a four-year old.

Don't Mess with Grandma

2011-05-18T17:59:00.001-07:00

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Osama Bin Laden is DEAD!!!

2011-05-06T01:37:00.000-07:00

Some of My Favorite One Liners

2011-05-02T23:18:00.001-07:00

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Who doesn't like a blonde joke?

2011-04-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The blond replies…..”Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Invisible Man

2011-03-24T02:24:00.000-07:00

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Grandad Remembering the Good Old Days

2011-03-15T08:39:00.001-07:00

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They will never have a girlfriend

2011-03-04T07:42:00.000-08:00