At 7 am, on a Monday morning, some years ago, I received a rather panicked phone call from my sister which went something like this:

Sister: I don’t know what to do. I just realized Nikki needs a list of supplies and a name for her project this morning for school!

(My sister has a problem with dates)

Me: What’s it about?

Sister: She has to do a project on recycling. She needs to write a report and make a project. And this morning she needs to know what she’s going to use to make that project and give a list to her teacher.

Me: This is the second grade right?

Sister: Yes.

I’m great at bullshit as long as I’m not in the hot seat.

Me: Ok, she’s going to be using glue, yarn, cardboard, scissors ….

Sister interrupts: What is she making?

Me: I have no idea, but she’s in the second grade! Whatever she makes she’s going to use glue, cardboard, scissors ……

Of course we still needed a name, I think it was the “Ecological Recovery Project” – generic enough for you?

In the end ….. She cut cereal boxes into squares and triangles. Took an old coffee can and glued yarn around the top and pasted on the squares and triangles for a kind of mosaic look.
Then went outside with a gardening shovel, filled the coffee can with dirt and topped it off with some grass.

A week later, she had a pot full of dirt and grass, decorated with recycled stuff, a report explaining how grass is important to the environment and several pictures of grass glued onto a rather large piece of cardboard.

Ecological Recovery Project! Reusing to better the earth.

By the way – She not only got an A+ – She Won the Ribbon!

As luck would have it my nephew had a different teacher in the second grade, so we Recycled the Project. However, we told him to go out back and grab a seedling.
He came back with a seedling, but forgot the roots!
We plunked it into the pot of dirt and to make sure it stayed in place we made little tree pulls out of yarn, like you’d see on transplanted trees in someone’s front yard.

He also got an A+, don’t know about the ribbon.

PS add idea and links to projects!

Metal: Sterling Silver
Style: Cute
Weight: 1.5 Grams
Gemstone type: Red enamel and 2 pieces of genuine amethyst.
Total carat weight: 0.20 ct.
Each stone measures approx.: 3 mm (L) x 3 mm (W)
Total measures approx.: 11 mm (L) x 4 mm (W) OR 7/16″ (L) x 3/16″ (W)

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I’ve come to the conclusion that my husband and I are terrible at discipline. We had 2 modes, ignoring it or yelling – neither are acceptable, so without realizing it we started something I have coined “Bribing Better Behavior“.

At first it consisted of us (the adults) whining and promising bribes if the girls behaved. “PLEASE just eat your dinner! I‘ll give you anything, just eat!!” or “Get your clothes on and then you can have that organic sugar cereal you love! Please just do it!” Ok it probably wasn’t that bad, but it was a little out of focus.

Obviously we didn’t tell anyone. When asked what parenting technique we used, we’d say “Oh you know, muddling through! Ha Ha” Praying every moment our chatty oldest child wouldn’t blurt out “If I do what I‘m told, they meet my demands.”

Then, like a ray of guiding light, our youngest daughter’s school told us about a technique called “Applied Behavioral Analysis”
Suddenly We’re the Parents Who Have All the Answers! This was perfect! Treasure was already accustom to bribery – Applied Behavior ……. Whatever – That’s how I potty trained her – “you pee there, I’ll give you M&M’s” – worked like a charm!

Of course our little Treasure has trouble understanding language so finding the right bribe has been a little more difficult than with our oldest who just brings out the Toy’s R Us catalog as she calls us in for negotiations.

This does not need to be expensive (when not allowed to get out of hand) I have found anything from a candy bar to tickling at the right moment will do the trick.

Thursday my daughter came home and informed me that for the first time ‘Ever’ she had finished all her “Center Work” for the week – (Wonderful! I‘d love to know how she‘s gotten through 3 years of school without anyone mentioning that!)

Obviously I want her to finish all of her school work in a timely manner (and since she‘s been tested multiple times, we know she is far more than capable), but explaining to a 7 year old that you can’t get into a good college without good grades is pointless.

Here’s the bribe – which I need to run by her teacher, but I’m thinking this will work.
For every day that she finishes her ‘center work’ early she’ll earn a miniature candy bar.
If she finishes her center work on Thursday instead of Friday she’ll earn 2, if she finishes it on Wednesday she’ll earn 3 miniature candy bars.
I explained that she MUST hand in top quality work or she’ll owe ME a few candy bars – we haven’t figured out how that will work yet, she mentioned she wasn’t going to barf any back up – which is agreeable by all parties – however I’m in the process of eating half the bag, so that’s probably the answer.

I have attempted to call it “Earning” For example “You can earn that Littlest Pet Shop toy if I actually see you do your forms correctly all week.”
However, my second grader’s vocabulary is approximately that of a CNN copywriter – we just call it what it is – Bribing Better Behavior.

Before “Sister Wives” the only thing I knew about polygamy was in reference to Warren Jeffs. I thought it only fair to give the Sister Wives a chance, but assumed I’d see women with low self esteem and golden ideals.

I was pleasantly surprised to find a guy who was basically whipped by 4 intelligent women.

……..but that got me thinking…….
If the Browns are normal, what does that make the Duggars?

“Stereotypical Polygamy” = Jim Bob Duggar is 1 wife short of a polygamist cult.

I don’t know what possessed me to try this right before Thanksgiving – Obviously no one was going to have time to do it between then and Christmas – Hell, I didn’t have the time.

I never learned to put on makeup and now I NEED IT!! Help Me!

So let’s try this again.
I am looking for someone with a quick smart ass wit to teach me via video:
a) what to purchase for my skin type and color.
b) how to apply make up
c) if makeup is 2 words or 1.
d) an affordable way to purchase makeup where I actually look fabulous with what I purchase.
e) keep in mind that I have severe allergies and I blow my nose constantly so makeup needs to stay put.

Here’s what I’m thinking (and I’d like you to add to it):

The basic idea is to have someone record how to put on makeup, then upload the video somewhere where I can download the video and edit the video to show the technique, then me doing the technique.
Then I’ll need a video response as to what I did wrong and how to correct it – this is where smart ass wit comes in!

1) You will need to provide me with samples for my skin type (allergy issues remember)
(I‘ll buy more once you‘ve taught me how)

2 ) Video either yourself putting makeup on someone OR putting makeup on yourself. This must be a “very good” quality video.

3) We will need to upload our videos so the videos can be downloaded and edited by each other – if you don’t edit video, don’t worry, this is something I want to do for my part of the blog, you don’t have to edit any of the videos.

I will anchor link to your blog or website.
If you have, lets say an Avon website where you can’t do things like videos, that’s fine, I’ll link to your site and add links to your face book page and whatnot.
If you have a regular blog then we can link to each others posts maybe to a few posts here and there. I’ll be posting as Part1 and Part 2 .

If you are an Avon lady or Mary Kay or whatever and you sell makeup you may want to run a promotional Makeup Giveaway that week and I’ll help promote it from my blog.

My problem areas: Bags under my eyes (I don‘t sleep)
I have hardly any skin color – I am not white, I’m see through.

Would like instruction on every day quick out the door makeup tips and out on the town classy tips.
AND I can probably get a friend of mine to take a good high quality picture of me when I’m done and I’ll link to his page also – you can if you want, but it’s not necessary.

Any takers?

Oh yes! Toothpaste Earrings! For a Short Time Only!

This gift will make you a HIT at any birthday party – No One is going to stop laughing!

Metal: Sterling Silver
Style: Casual Style
Weight: 1.9 Grams
Gemstone type: White cubic zirconia.
Each stone measures approx.: 1.5 mm (L) x 1.5 mm (W)
Total measures approx.: 12 mm (L) x 7 mm (W) OR 1/2″ (L) x 1/4″ (W)

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Really? Is that a Key?
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Metal: Sterling Silver
Style: Cute
Weight: 1.3 Grams
Gemstone type: 1 piece of genuine sky blue topaz.
Total carat weight: 0.95 ct.
Feature stone measures approx.: 7 mm (L) x 5 mm (W)
Total measures approx. (including bail): 16 mm (L) x 8 mm (W) OR 5/8″ (L) x 3/8″ (W)
Maximum bail measures approx.: 3 mm
Necklace/Chain Not Included

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Finish: Anti-Tarnish
Metal: Sterling Silver
Style: In Trend
Weight: 1.9 Grams
Gemstone: 1 piece of genuine sky blue topaz.
Total carat weight: 0.60ct.
Each stone measures approx.: 6 mm (L) x 4 mm (W)
Total measures approx.: 13 mm (W) OR 1/2″ (W)

Size 5/6/8 available – please indicated which size you’d like during purchase.
I only have 1 of each!

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Honestly, I have no idea what on earth these are.
I mean I know they’re Earrings, obviously, but what it’s supposed to be, I have No Idea!

Finish: Anti-Tarnish
Metal: Sterling Silver
Style: Cute
Weight: 1.9 Grams
Gemstone type: 2 pieces of genuine sky blue topaz.
Total carat weight: 1.20 ct.
Each stone measures approx.: 6 mm (L) x 4 mm (W)
Total measures approx. (excluding hook length): 12 mm (L) x 7 mm (W) OR 1/2″ (L) x 1/4″ (W)
Total length measures approx. (including hook length): 25 mm (L) x 7 mm (W) OR 1″ (L) x 1/4″ (W)

We only have 5! Get them quick!

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