In order to be trusted, one must be trustworthy. This means you and I have to be the kind of person that’s worth trusting.

One thing you can do to get the trust train moving in the right direction is by offering trust toward the other person on the front end.

There is something within human nature that responds positively to positive input. So if someone tells you, “I trust you,” there is something that clicks inside of us that makes us more likely to trust that person. There’s an inner reciprocation. Of course, it works the opposite way as well. Tell someone, “I don’t trust you,” and I’m pretty sure that person will lean toward not trusting you either.

If you are trying to instill a culture of trust within your group or organization, by all means, be a trustworthy person. But you may also want to start trusting others and let them know about it. Your example may be the very thing that sets the tone.

This same phenomenon occurs when you tell someone you believe in them or you depend on them or you need them.

People may not know what trust or belief looks like until you model what it looks like.

Related posts:

1. Where Is The Trust?
2. San Francisco Giants Build “Trust” With Fans

//NOTE: The following is excerpted from my latest book, Leadership Starts With You.

The hardest part of being self-disciplined is it’s so every day.

The key to self-discipline’s power is consistency. It’s doing what’s required over and over in a way that leads to depth, improvement, growth, and meaning. When you lead yourself well you make promises that have an effect on your everyday life. Doing the necessary work (discipline) on a daily basis requires consistency.

You can’t cram for self-discipline. When I was a student working on my undergrad degree in Communications I would often put off the big papers until the last minute. Two or three days before they were due, I would quarantine myself into the basement of the library with a small supply of snacks and copious amounts of caffeine, usually in the form of Mountain Dew. Then I would crank out the paper. Sometimes I would do well on the paper, sometimes not. While it’s possible to get a paper done this way, it’s not the best way.

While cramming may work for writing a term paper, it doesn’t work for most other things.

Cramming doesn’t work for a piano recital.
Cramming doesn’t work for running a marathon.
Cramming doesn’t work for losing weight.
Cramming doesn’t work for building relationships.
Cramming doesn’t work for effective leadership.

Self-discipline can’t be engaged over a short period of time with hope of yielding great results immediately. The key to solid self-discipline is doing the necessary work day in and day out.

In a word…consistency.

Consistent self-discipline is not the same thing as boring repetition. It’s not a robotic effort devoid of creativity and nuance. The payoff for your consistency will be growth.

Growth means change. Change means different.

Consistent self-discipline can lead to stagnation if you do the same thing over and over again but you never grow or learn or improve. Learning to lead yourself well means figuring out how to remain consistent in your self-discipline while improving and stretching in the actions associated with that self-discipline.

The ultimate benefit of consistency is that it creates habits. If you are consistent in your self-discipline, then your actions and thinking will become second nature in that area. You will begin to react naturally in ways that you’ve trained yourself. When you develop good habits it will have a profound effect on those who follow you.

Consistency in your character develops integrity.
Consistency in your attitude creates trust.
Consistency in your leadership builds influence.

I think we all want to be self-disciplined. The trick is figuring out how to be consistent with it.

What do you think?

____________________________

Interested in discovering simple and practical ways to develop your character consistently? Download my latest book, Leadership Starts With You. This book will assist you in developing your own self-leadership skills. It’s available for both the Kindle and the Nook. Visit leadershipstartswithyou.com to take the next step in leading yourself well.

Related posts:

1. Discipline Sounds A Lot Like Consistency
2. Self-Discipline Starts With You
3. The Gripping Power Of “Taps”

You greet people everyday. You say “hi” in all sorts of ways.

In this edition of Got A Minute? I offer one strategy that can dramatically change the tone of your conversations – and it starts with your greeting.

Go ahead and hit play. It’s only a minute long. I bet you’ve got that much time to improve your influence.

Got A Minute? #2 – Compliment Before The Question

Got A Minute #2 from tim milburn on Vimeo.

Related posts:

1. Got A Minute?
2. Video: Set The Example
3. 5x5s – Five Minute Training Worksheet

We’re busy people. I get that. So I have one question for you…

Got a minute?

Most people do. Even if they don’t, they’ll often say, “I’ll get to it in a minute.” Everyone has a minute.

With that in mind, I want to introduce a new video series I will be producing and posting on this site called: Got a minute?

This one-minute video will offer a simple principle with a practical action step. I am going to give you tips and tools to increase your influence. This will help you to be a better leader.

Here is Got A Minute? #1. It’s called “Written Is Remembered”

Related posts:

1. 5x5s – Five Minute Training Worksheet

I discovered P90X during the summer of 2010. It changed my life.

If you’re not familiar with P90X, here’s a brief overview from Wikipedia:

P90X, or Power 90 Extreme, is a home exercise system developed by Tony Horton in conjunction with Beachbody.com . It claims to significantly improve physical fitness in 90 days through a rigorous segmented training program combined with a nutrition and dietary supplement plan.  P90X’s advertising emphasizes “muscle confusion”, a method of cross-training and periodization achieved through switching the order of exercises and incorporating new and varied movements. Muscle confusion supposedly prevents the body from adapting to exercises over time, resulting in continual improvement without plateaus.

Here’s my own personal, brief overview: It’s hard! It kicks your butt everyday!

I’m now in the process of completing P90X2. While it’s similar in format, the workouts are very different. Basically, it’s all about your core…and your arms and legs come along for the ride. I’ll complete my 90 days on March 25, 2011.

There’s a lot that you learn about yourself when you put yourself through a rigorous process like this. I liken it to climbing a mountain. In order to get closer to your goal each day you have to climb. The only way to the top is to climb. No climbing, no progress.

As I’m working through P90X2, I can see how it connects, relates, and effects other areas of my life. For the purpose of this post, I want to focus on leadership. Specifically, how P90X2 (and the first one) has taught me some valuable lessons that enhance and encourage my leadership.

Discipline in one area fuels discipline in other areas.

The other day, I posted a tweet that said: When people ask me how to spell discipline, I tell them: D…A…I…L…Y! Discipline is so powerful because it’s so daily. One day at a time, repeat. I am discovering that the momentum that comes from doing P90X2 on a daily basis is fueling the discipline to write more, think more, and accomplish more.

Personal fitness and health gives one energy to do more.

This is one of the best rewards from P90X2. Increased fitness and health translates into increased energy. Some people feel like they don’t have the energy to exercise. Yet, I find that I have more energy when I do exercise. Some people feel like they don’t have the time to exercise. Yet, I find that I make better use of the other hours when I take one hour to dedicate to my personal fitness.

Modeling is a leader’s best illustration.

It’s simple. As I DO P90X2, people notice the change. They’ll see how I’m reshaping myself. Most people want to get in better shape. But a lot of people struggle with it. They are looking for someone who has figured it out. When they find out I’m not simply exercising, but I’m engaged in extreme fitness on a daily basis, I gain credibility. Credibility translates into influence. This is the type of influence that comes from modeling. People are more willing to do what they see. It’s the power of example at work.

Respect

There aren’t a lot of people who can do P“90″X2. It’s not just the time commitment, difficult workouts, or being in poor shape physically. It’s the perseverance to stick with it and climb the mountain. I see a lot of people on Twitter who have done P”3“X or P”10″X. But very few can say they’ve done all 90 days. There’s something significant and a great sense of satisfaction for one who is able to claim that he or she is a P90X Grad. Respect comes from those who look on from the sidelines, thinking to themselves, “I could never do that.” Hopefully, I can take that respect and use it to encourage them by replying, “You can. Not all at once. But one day at a time. For 90 days in a row.”

Are you a P90X grad? What lessons did you learn from your experience?

Related posts:

1. P90X…2!
2. Four Leadership Lessons From Bruce Bochy