(See Part 1 about In-n-Out right here)

1. They really take care of the shortys.

After my kids eat a Chick-fil-A kid’s meal, they read the book that came with it, and then quietly clean up the table and give me a big hug because they’ve just learned a lesson about the value of thankfulness. After my kids eat a McDonald’s happy meal, they throw the American Doll miniature toy that came with it on the ground, tell me they need a different one because “Julie is a hippy,” and then proceed to throw rocks at cars driven by old ladies. OK, slight exaggeration, but Chick-fil-A does put a tremendous effort on teaching kids great life values, including working with thousands of schools across the country and as a dad I really appreciate that.

2. They are closed on Sundays.

I really wrestled with the idea of not posting something new each week on Sunday on this blog. And we’re talking about just a silly blog. How hard was it for Chick-fil-A to decide to stay closed on Sundays? They’ll tell you it was easy. In an Internet driven world where we are all conditioned to expect and demand instant access to everything we could ever want, (I consider Tweet Deck not loading quickly on my iPhone to be a tragedy of the highest order) a fast food restaurant staying closed on one day of the week is a bold move. And you’d be shocked how often employees get to share their faith when friends and family members ask about why they’re closed on such an important day.

3. The Cathy Family

I don’t know Truett Cathy, but recently I met his son Dan, the COO of Chick-fil-A and his heart for the Lord blew me away. He shared some Bible verses that are rocking his world right now and was far more curious, humble and honest than I expected an executive at his level to be. (I think I thought he’d be all “tycoony.”) Sometimes when I find a nickel on the ground I become a conceited jerk. This guy runs a billion dollar company and puts sharing the gospel over everything else. Just insane.

Looking at the facts, it’s hard to make a decision on which fast food restaurant will actually be served in heaven. Fortunately however, there is a tie breaker item …

Sweet Tea.

If there is a more heavenly drink invented I certainly haven’t had it. I’m pretty sure this was the only drink available in the garden of Eden and after the fall, unsweet tea came into the world. At my cousin Josh’s wedding, wicked cool producer of Halogen television, he had a fountain of sweet tea. I stood beside it for a few minutes just watching it continuously loop deliciousness. I was excited but also a little scared because I thought seeing the fountain indicated that I had died and already arrived in heaven. And as a purveyor of oceans of sweet tea, I have to believe that Chick-fil-A will be served in heaven. Granted, in full disclaimer, I live in Georgia, have eaten there a billion times, occasionally write stories for them, was called a “homer” yesterday as readers predicted I would cave to home town favoritism and may in fact be biased.

That’s why we need to settle this debate in the comments. Enter “Chick-fil-A” or “In-n-Out.”

So who gets your vote? Which will be served in heaven?

The truth is, I haven’t written my favorite post yet.

But I’m about to.

In a week. In a month. In whatever timeframe it ends up becoming, I’m about to write my favorite post of all time and I already know what the title is going to be:

“We raised enough money to build two kindergartens in Vietnam!”

We’re on the doorstep of that moment. At almost $48,000 of our $60,000 goal, we are teetering on the precipice of that post and I don’t want you to miss it.

Soon, when you’re at a holiday party and someone asks what you did this year, you’ll be able to say, “I helped build two kindergartens in Vietnam.

Soon, when someone asks about your New Year’s Resolutions for 2010, you’ll have to say, “That’s a tough one. You see last year I helped change the future of two entire villages in a country halfway around the world.”

And that’s the truth.

The reality is, if you want to help 1,000 people, help 1 kid.

Because when you help a kid, you start a generational change that can ricochet for decades. The kindergarteners in Vietnam are growing up in a world that is more connected than it’s ever been before. Each of those kids is going to interact with, talk to, work with, dream alongside and meet more people on this planet than you can even begin to fathom.

And don’t think for a second that the fact that strangers turned an empty field into a school for them is going to fade from the place inside where each of those kids keeps their hope. Whether through the interconnectivity of the Internet or a cross village conversation they have with a friend when they’re 38 years old, a gift to a kid carries exponential possibilities.

Experiences like this, like the one that we’re all in the middle of right now at Stuff Christians Like, tend to create their own gravity both for the recipients and the givers. Yesterday I told a guy I’ve worked with for years about the project just on a whim when he came to my cube to ask about a QA issue. You know what he said?

“I got baptized last week with my son. Whoa, I can’t believe you just told me about that. Wow God.”

Don’t be surprised at how God can use the simple act of helping someone else or what conversations He makes possible as a result of this whole thing.

I hope we finish soon. I am so proud of you it’s almost silly. Someone gave $5,000. Lots of people gave $1. And both gifts mattered. On top of that, the prayers of people who couldn’t give did too. Although technically if you’re ever going to raise money you have to by Christian law say, “If you can’t afford to give I would really appreciate your prayers,” this time I really mean it. And here’s why:

You don’t raise your first $30,000 in 18 hours without prayer.

That wasn’t me. That wasn’t us. That was prayer and God.

My favorite post ever is coming soon. I hope you’ll have a chance to be part of it, whatever that looks like for you because something wild and God glorifying is happening right now and I don’t want any of us to miss it.

Click here to donate.

Forget beer fans vs. teetotalers.

Forget small home church vs. megachurch.

The issue that is currently dividing the church in half is much more complicated:

Chick-fil-A vs. In-n-Out

For those of you in parts of the country or the world where neither faith-based fast food restaurant reigns, allow me to invite you into the fray. On the one side, you’ve got Chick-fil-A, a chicken restaurant founded by Truett Cathy in Georgia. On the other side, In-n-Out, a hamburger joint founded by Harry Snyder in California. (Can you sense the east coast vs. west coast tension building akin to Tupac and Biggie Smalls?)

Both restaurants are delicious in their own unique ways, but we’re not here to talk about that. We’re here to decide which restaurant will be in heaven. (I’m not sure where exactly in the Bible it mentions that heaven will have restaurants, but I do know one thing, Chipotle won’t be there. Charging extra for chips at a Mexican restaurant? The devilry!)

Now in order to solve this as scientifically as possible, because frankly all fast food heaven battles should be settled with data not emotions, I’ve collected three pertinent facts about each restaurant that should aid your final decision.

Today we’ll focus on In-n-Out. Tomorrow, we’ll talk Chick-fil-A.

3 Reasons In-n-Out will be served in heaven.

1. The food is unique.

If you ever tell friends in California that you are going to In-n-Out for the first time, please expect for them to pelt you with sentences like this. “I love that place! Make sure you order a “double-double animal style, sunset rising over Toledo Island 4 x4 to the eighth power of cheese. It’s not technically on the menu, but if you ask for it and click your heels three times they’ll make it for you.” They will say things like that to you because at In-n-Out you can customize your order any way you want. You’re a unique person made by a very unique God, why should your order be standard? Well played In-n-Out.

2. They have disciples, not fans.

If devoted followers is one of the pre-requisites for selecting a fast food restaurant for heaven then prepare to eat In-n-Out inside those pearly gates. In-n-Out followers are intense. If you ever want to test that out, just casually say this sentence to one: “I like In-n-Out, but it’s no Five Guys.” Then step back slowly and prepare to have blows rained down upon you.

3. John 3:16 makes a cameo.

Flip over a cup from In-n-Out and you’ll see “John 3:16” written on the bottom. It’s like a little Biblical p.s., as if the cup is saying, “Hey, I hope you enjoyed a deliciously cold beverage, but before you throw me away, don’t forget what matters more than all the sodas in the world, Jesus. Holla!”

Those are my favorite three reasons In-n-Out will be served in heaven.

What are your reasons?

What do you order when you go to In-n-Out?

Did I forget an even holier restaurant in near you that is more likely to be served in heaven than Chick-fil-A or In-n-Out? What is it?

(Stay tuned for the stunning Chick-fil-A conclusion to this post tomorrow.)

“I think they’re layering their bangs right now. It’s this kind of a bunching technique that they’re doing.”

“Hmmm, are you talking about having one bang go right over his eye? I’ve seen that. Where just one triangular swoop of hair stays over an entire eye the whole time.”

“I thought about that, but my concern is that it if we swoop the hair too much it will make him look too emo. The other thing is the tips. Do we frost them?”

That’s the conversation Wes Molebash and I had last night. In the last 10 days, he and I have become social anthropologists focused primarily on an intense study of metrosexual worship leaders. We’re like the Jane Goodalls of Urban Outfitters and Buckle.

Today, Zakk joins us in a vest. Is the monocle next? Perhaps a pocket watch on a small chain? A black cane you can use for emphasis? Hard to say. Probably should ask Justin Timberlake, who I personally blame for the arrival of the vest.

Do you think bankers across the country walk into their vest store one day to buy a new one and were flabbergasted that there had been a sudden run on small, skinny vests? “What are you saying Lou? You’re out of vests? You’re the only guy that sells vests in town. I’m the only guy who buys them. What are you saying Lou?”

But we didn’t stop at the vest. Because Wes has a flair for the subtle we threw in some thumb rings. Wait a second do I see a ring on Zakk’s hand? Is Zakk married? Fear not ladies, he’s married, married to the music.

In about $2,800 we hit our next micro goal and the $50,000 mark. Let’s try to hit that goal before Thanksgiving. Let’s try to hit $50,000 on our way toward $60,000 to build two kindergartens in Vietnam. Let’s tell close to 500 kids that they matter to strangers across the planet because they matter to God.

Click here to donate

Question:

Zakk Attackk, Zakk’s band, goes on tour. What would they name the tour?

That way, I could jump into the books and swim around like Scrooge McDuck in his money bin.

I want to run down the aisles with my arms open wide pulling books from the shelf that I then roll around in and laugh, laugh, laugh the day away while Natasha Beddingfield’s “Unwritten” plays in the background.

I love bookstores.

But recently I thought I was going to throw up in one.

I got all dizzy and sweaty. I felt faint and had to sit down. I lost the wonder of Tom Hanks in the toy store scene of the movie “Big.” I panicked.

Why? …

Were they out of Bassin’ Magazine? Did the shelf that contains the veritable wall of “Left Behind” books fall on my foot, crushing several, small but significant bones? Were the moleskine notebooks in the wrong section of the store? Nope. It was much worse than that ….

I realized the Stuff Christians Like book wasn’t going to save me.

I had gone to Barnes & Noble that day to research what other books were in my category. So I went through hundreds of different Christian books and hundreds of different humor books. And I couldn’t find many that were like the one I had written. Sure, Stuff White People Like and Stuff Mid Westerners Like, but there wasn’t a Christians humor section for my book to land safely in.  I couldn’t find a place on the shelf were the book I wrote would fit. I started to think, “Oh no, my book is not going to sell.”

I started to think, this book experience isn’t going to change my life. It’s not going to be some financial windfall or make me famous or taller or less insecure. It’s not going to save me.

Then I got really depressed and dizzy and other words that mean the opposite of “awesome.” That’s when I remembered a truth I have learned 37 different times:

“My greatest disappointments in life are when I ask anyone or anything other than Jesus Christ to be my savior.”

Have you ever done that? Have you ever unknowingly said to a new job, “OK, new job. Here are my expectations. I want you to make me happier, filled with joy and more content as a person. I expect you to save me from my previous job and magically make me a better person.”

Or maybe you’ve done that with a relationship. “OK, new boyfriend. I need you to fix all my problems. I have some hurt in my life, some emptiness in a few spots and I need you, in the context of this dating relationship, to fill me with a light that shines bright and true and perfect. OK, go!”

Or maybe for you it’s stuff.

I thought owning a guitar would make me a better guitar player.

Maybe you thought buying a new car would make you feel new.

Or owning a house in the right neighborhood would make you feel right.

I don’t know you that well, but I do know this, that person you asked to save you, that possession you asked to heal you, failed. Your wife made a mistake, your boyfriend was human, your mom messed up. The job turned out to be different than it was promised to be. The shine wore off a new toy.

And for me, those moments feel a little terrifying. I thought this was the one. I thought that writing a book would save me. From the mundane, from the difficult corners of life, from all the little things that just don’t seem to go right.

But it didn’t and it won’t.

Why?

Because that’s Christ’s job.

He and he alone is in the Savior business. He and he alone can rescue you from deep waters. He and he alone can save you from powerful enemies. And you know why? You know why God does that? It’s not because He has to. He doesn’t do it out of obligation. Not at all. Psalm 18:19 says “He rescued me because he delighted in me.”

I hope the Stuff Christians Like book sells a ton of copies. I hope you’ll buy 14 each and give them out to friends like orange flavored tic tacs or big league chew gum.  But regardless of it sells a million copies or 17, please know this, it won’t save me.

That position is already filled in my life and it’s filled in yours too.

So let’s stop asking anyone or anything other than Jesus Christ to be our Savior.

Side hugs and Razzle Dazzle,

Jon

Click here to make that happen.

There are also two new articles about what we’re doing.

1. The Christian Post

Really kind article about how and what and why the Stuff Christians Like community is doing this. Click here to read

2. Catalyst

Piece I wrote about one of the crazy things that went through my head before we started this adventure. Click here to read

We’re at $46,736 on our way toward $60,000.

We’re almost done. Let’s finish this second kindergarten. And please know, once we hit $50,000 and start counting backwards from 10 toward the finish line, I am going to make roughly 1 billion references to Europe’s song, “The Final Countdown.” Count on that.

Click here to donate.

The first time I saw one in a big church I kept waiting for the pastor to release them to go back to their seats with us civilians. The song was over. Job well done. Move it along. But they just stayed there, perched behind the pastor, frozen in place until the sermon concluded.

At first I tried to ignore them and focus on the message that was being preached or the announcements that were being delivered, but I had a hard time. I’ve never been officially diagnosed as ADD but I probably have at least a smidge of that. Maybe even a dollop. Plus, I was a mess in college and living way outside of God’s will for my life back then. So before long, I started to watch the members of the choir, as if I was tuning into channel WSBPC.

But with choirs that sometimes numbered over 100 it was hard to focus on the whole gang of people up there. So I tended to look for 5 primary types of choir members …

5 people to stare out in a Sit Behind Pastor Choir

1. Mustache Guy

In a big choir, there’s always at least one guy rocking a really serious looking mustache. In my head I usually imagine that he and that mustache are going on adventures. They’re solving crimes and saving people and having all sorts of mustachioed escapades. Recently I saw a 6 foot 4 guy in a designer tank top and impossibly hip jeans with a well groomed handlebar mustache on a plane. I was hoping that I would be able to sit near him and find a way to casually say, “So, tell me about the mustache. Did you two apprehend any cat burglars during your time in Atlanta?”

2. Sleepy

I think sometimes people confuse the choir robe with Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak. They think that as soon as they put it on, they disappear completely from the vision of everyone in the audience. They don’t though, so when someone falls asleep in the middle of the choir we all get to enjoy that. Is that lady dreaming right now? Does the person next to her ever want to throw an elbow? Is she going to pretend that she was deep in prayer when she wakes up? So many questions.

3. The Soloist

My younger brothers have hopefully forgotten this, but sometimes just for kicks I used to pretend I was a member of the group “Boys II Men.” I would get right in their ear during church and go on these solo kind of musical runs, hitting highs and lows that weren’t in the song. I’d break it down slow and really hold the feeling of “Open the Eyes of Our Heart Lord” for as long as I could. Sometimes you can see that same thing happen in the choir. Somebody really wants to be leading special music, not relegated to the robe brigade. So during every song they over sing and treat it like a solo opportunity with 99 backup singers in the middle of the choir. If you’re lucky, this person will have changed their robe slightly to stand out. They’ll have a broach on or a pin or some other sort of accoutrement that makes them look slightly different than everyone else.

4. The Grumpy

At least one older gentleman in every choir has either been dragged to the choir by his wife or has been a member so long he’s kind of just retired from caring without actually bothering to quit the choir. Even from hundreds of feet away you can pick up on his grumpiness and extreme desire to be doing anything other than wearing a mauve robe with sage stripes on a Sunday morning. He will often transform into Sleepy but he doesn’t care if you see him. He hopes you see him.

5. The Stare Down

Be careful about who you look at in a choir because sometimes, someone will look back. Occasionally you’ll find yourself engaged in a bitter stare down with someone in the choir who essentially says, “I see you looking at me. Yeah, I got a robe on. What of it? You want to go? You want a staring contest right here? Right now? Step up punk! Let’s do this thing. I came here today to do two things: Sing some songs and stare people down and we’re almost out of songs!”

Those are the five people I used to stare at. I say “used to” because my church doesn’t have a choir and I’m trying this novel thing called “listening to the sermon.” I know, I know, it’s pretty revolutionary. I should write a book.

Have you ever found yourself staring at someone in the choir?

Were you ever in a choir and stared back?

I’ll personally match 100 people today who give at least $5. But wait, Katdish is going to match $1 and so is Eve Nash. And Jason Yarborough is going to match 50 cents. (That means I’ll give $500 at the end of the day, Katdish and Eve are going to give $100 each and Jason is going to kick in $50.)

So 100 people who give at least $7.50 will be matched today. And not just the next or first 100 people because then the West Coast folks wouldn’t have a chance to have fun doing something that changes the other side of the planet and challenges us all. The match opportunity will be open all day.

If you want to give more than $7.50 that would clearly be fantastical. In the comments section of the giving page, please just say “match me” so that we can count 100 folks.

And if someone else, say a company or an individual, wants to jump in on the matching club, email me.

Click here to donate.

If you’re name is on this list, please email me with “Margaret Winner” in the subject line and your mailing address so that I can have the publisher send you a free copy of Scouting the Divine.

Thanks for the great comments.

Lists of winners:

echoinghim

Gabrielle Chauvin

@brian_a_webb

Brewer

HeartAfire