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2010-03-04T20:18:00.001-06:00

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#Cheetos I Have Known: Volume 1

2010-03-03T10:58:00.000-06:00

Some Cheetos are content to sit in their Mylar sacks, waiting to be devoured by the ravenous offspring of militant vegans and by secretaries who suspect (but have no proof) that their co-workers have nominated them for an upcoming season of The Biggest Loser.

Joe was not such a Cheeto. Joe had dreams.

While his friends were off in a crumb-filled corner, passively awaiting their destiny, Joe filled out a membership application to the United Association of Plumbers and Pipefitters. Would he get in? Would his friends accept his life choice? How the hell would he mail the letter? Who could say? Joe only knew that he had to try.

Rest in peace: Mickey Gil, Captain of the Mystic Krewe of Satyricon

2010-03-02T15:06:00.000-06:00

More later. Much more, in fact.

Joan says, "Calm down, you were a Spice Girl"

2010-02-28T09:56:00.000-06:00

"[Victoria Beckham is] too short to be a diva. We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she's rude. She can't always just be having a bad day." -- SMH via SocialiteLife

New Orleans' first Mardi Gras: 183 years ago

2010-02-28T08:21:00.001-06:00

According to History.com, yesterday marked the 183rd anniversary of Carnival in New Orleans. So it's only appropriate that I post a clip about my favorite part of Carnival, the Society of Ste. Anne parade -- which this heretofore unknown (by me, anyway) documentary calls the "St. Ann's Parade". There's more info about the 1827 festivities below.

On this day in 1827, a group of masked and costumed students dance through the streets of New Orleans, Louisiana, marking the beginning of the city's famous Mardi Gras celebrations.

The celebration of Carnival--or the weeks between Twelfth Night on January 6 and Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Christian period of Lent--spread from Rome across Europe and later to the Americas. Nowhere in the United States is Carnival celebrated as grandly as in New Orleans, famous for its over-the-top parades and parties for Mardi Gras (or Fat Tuesday), the last day of the Carnival season.

Though early French settlers brought the tradition of Mardi Gras to Louisiana at the end of the 17th century, Spanish governors of the province later banned the celebrations. After Louisiana became part of the United States in 1803, New Orleanians managed to convince the city council to lift the ban on wearing masks and partying in the streets. The city's new Mardi Gras tradition began in 1827 when the group of students, inspired by their experiences studying in Paris, donned masks and jester costumes and staged their own Fat Tuesday festivities.

The parties grew more and more popular, and in 1833 a rich plantation owner named Bernard Xavier de Marigny de Mandeville raised money to fund an official Mardi Gras celebration. After rowdy revelers began to get violent during the 1850s, a secret society called the Mistick Krewe of Comus staged the first large-scale, well-organized Mardi Gras parade in 1857.

Over time, hundreds of krewes formed, building elaborate and colorful floats for parades held over the two weeks leading up to Fat Tuesday. Riders on the floats are usually local citizens who toss "throws" at passersby, including metal coins, stuffed toys or those now-infamous strands of beads. Though many tourists mistakenly believe Bourbon Street and the historic French Quarter are the heart of Mardi Gras festivities, none of the major parades have been allowed to enter the area since 1979 because of its narrow streets.

In February 2006, New Orleans held its Mardi Gras celebrations despite the fact that Hurricane Katrina had devastated much of the city with massive flooding the previous August. Attendance was at only 60-70 percent of the 300,000-400,000 visitors who usually attend Mardi Gras, but the celebration marked an important step in the recovery of the city, which counts on hospitality and tourism as its single largest industry.

[History.com]

P.S. Jonno some great photos during the Carnival festivities of 2006. To me, the crowds seemed as big as ever, and that Fat Tuesday was one of the most beautiful on record.

Is this supposed to stop teens from smoking?

2010-02-26T10:18:00.001-06:00

Honestly, if I had seen this ad when I was that kid's age, I might've started smoking even earlier, just to get some action. But then again, I've always been precocious. Oh: and trampy.

I quit, by the way. (Smoking, not being trampy.) As a matter of fact, I stubbed out my last cigarette six years ago this very day. Celebrate, w00t, raise the roof, call me on my videophone, etc.

P.S. Yes, I have other issues with this ad -- not the least of which is its implication that sucking dick is a terrible, terrible thing. The shot is inherently, outrageously homophobic, informing viewers that gays are pederasts, being submissive is bad, and so on.

In fairness, there IS one shot of a girl (and a faceless man sans jacket), which seems appropriate, since girls also smoke. But of the three ads in the campaign, two feature boys. So, in a nutshell: WTF? As much as I love the French -- and I do -- they're not always known for thinking things through.

[via Towleroad]

Viral video of the week from XtraNormal

2010-02-26T09:30:00.002-06:00

Press embargoes are ridiculous. The thought of a publicist emailing you loads of precious news, then insisting that you can't talk about it for another two weeks -- I mean, JUST SEND THAT SHIT IN TWO WEEKS. Don't make me sit on it, prepping a post and setting it to publish one minute after the embargo expires. That's torturous and annoying for people whose lives revolve around beating their competitors to the punch.

Of course more often than not, the embargoed "precious news" is crap "pseudo-news" that no one will ever write about anyway. Still, the PR kids pester you to agree to the embargo, which makes the experience just as terrible. In all, the embargo system is a lousy one and journalists hate it. In fact, many of the better media outlets refuse to honor embargoes. I salute them.

So let's recap: who hates embargoes? Journalists. So what would journalists be very likely to write about? A funny video poking fun at embargoes. So if you work for an internet start-up that allows people to create their videos quickly and easily online, how do you get loads of free write-ups from widely read journalists?

Of course, now that I look closer, it appears that writer Steve O'Hear created the video, not the PR staff at XtraNormal. And that may be true -- but only because XtraNormal didn't think of it first.

[via BoingBoing]

Murakami + Cosplay + Tokyo = I would like Kirsten Dunst's life, please

2010-02-25T12:26:00.000-06:00

[via BoingBoing]

Putting equality in dollars and cents

2010-02-25T10:40:00.000-06:00

Activists have long been preaching that the best way to win LGBT equality is for people to come out of the closet. And to a degree, that's true: John Doe's views on LGBT rights are more likely to weigh in our favor if he's personally acquainted with a friend, family member, or co-worker who's gay.

However, as we've learned from people like Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin (who may or may not have actual gay friends), the simply act of knowing someone from the LGBT community doesn't automatically make you an advocate for LGBT rights. And so the slant of the attack is slowly shifting to economics: the financial facts of equality.

Whether we like it or not, that's the sort of argument that works well with elected officials. Sure, you can argue that LGBT equality legislation is "important" or the "right thing to do", but taking the argument out of the bedroom (where conservatives like to place it) and putting it into the bank account can be far more persuasive.

As someone who works in the arts and advocacy, I can vouch for the effectiveness of this approach. For years, we told legislators that arts education made for happier kids, we even talked about the arts' positive impact on SAT scores, but no one at the capitol really started listening until we were able to say, "arts events and arts program provide a 7-to-1 return on the government's investment: for every $1 the state puts into arts funding, we generate $7 for our communities via gallery sales, dining out, hotel stays, small business purchases, and so on."

This particular ad from RockForEquality.org doesn't go quite that far -- it still relies partially on the "equality is the right thing to do" argument, and I also think it takes WAY too long to make its point. However, viewing LGBT equality through the lens of finance makes it much harder to argue against:

[via Towleroad]

Am I a cold-hearted asshat for hating this piece of crap?

2010-02-23T11:18:00.004-06:00

So yeah: this short film has been making the internet rounds. Me, I think it's pretentious (shot in black and white, backed by a crescendo of strings), it's predictable (oh, that was all a dream!), and it's the most derivative thing I've seen all year. It's like an over-long DeBeers commercial. As The Gays are fond of saying about theme parties: it's been done before, and better.

But whatever: don't just take a bitter queen's word. Judge for yourself:

John Mayer may have a new career. Let's hope, anyway.

2010-02-22T09:31:00.002-06:00

After gum-flapper John Mayer told Playboy, um, EVERYTHING, he may have found an opportunity in the strangest of places. In between off-color comments and applauding Jessica Simpson's sexual enthusiasm, Mayer confessed that his dream was to "write porn." Vivid Entertainment, the adult film company that brought you Paris and Kim as you never wanted to see them, wants Mayer to to join the porn squad. TMZ reports that the Vivid's founder, Steve Hirsch sent a letter to loud mouth mcgee, eager to sign him on as a writer. One of Hirsch's points just has to be quoted. Has to be.

"We believe your incredible talent and passion, which have touched so many, can translate into a highly erotic adult film. Your understanding of the dynamics of relationships would undoubtedly appeal to both men and women."

[SocialiteLife]

I admit, #Glee is fairly awesome, but it wasn't the first TV dramedy to feature wacky musical numbers

2010-02-19T13:40:00.000-06:00

Yeah, that's from the TV series Fame, which was Glee's early-80s equivalent. And yes, they're performing an "updated" version of Othello. (Or maybe Soylent Green.) I can only assume that Glee re-runs will be just as painful to watch 30 years down the line.

Best print ad of the day

2010-02-19T12:52:00.000-06:00

I was never a fan of Elvis, but this wins some kind of prize in my book:

[via Copyranter]

Well this is ridiculous (and wasteful and annoying).

2010-02-19T10:52:00.000-06:00

Yes, that's a letter from the Census Bureau telling me to expect another letter from the Census Bureau. Which makes about as much sense as holding a meeting to schedule another meeting (which I do all the time, but that doesn't make it any less annoying).

Now, I understand what the Census Bureau is trying to accomplish. I get the train of thinking: "If we tell the public to expect the 2010 Census in the mail, they'll be on the lookout, won't throw it away. They'll be more likely to respond." But going about it this way is kind of like preaching abstinence to a room filled with only prostitutes and nuns. (I think that's a good analogy anyway. We'll see.)

People who actually read their mail (i.e. nuns) are going to open the official census questionnaire when it arrives anyway. They may be slightly more alert now that they know it's coming, but I'm guessing the effect of this heads-up letter will be minimal.

On the other hand, people who don't read their mail (i.e. hookers) aren't going to open this letter, so they won't be on the lookout for the actual census questionnaire -- which doesn't matter, because they'll probably just throw it out anyway. (NB: I'm not making a value judgment about prostitutes, but the ones I know lead such busy, interesting lives that they have little time for pedestrian matters like mail.)

For future reference, Mr. Robert M. Groves: spend your print budget on envelopes with a little spot color -- maybe a bright red, yellow, or orange. Something people will notice. That'll save you the cost of mailing letters to every household in America twice.

Did any of these search terms bring you here?

2010-02-18T16:32:00.001-06:00

Here are seven of the top ten search phrases that led people just like you (well, hopefully, not just like you) to this very spot:

apollo anton ohno nude
apolo ohno nude
apolo anton ohno nude
homoagoraphobia
apollo ohno nude
the crucible
Very very very very very very old ladies glory holes

Which raises a very important question: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

And also: Why aren't you searching for "vagina handbag montessori" anymore?

New Orleans men have the biggest penises in America

2010-02-18T15:12:00.002-06:00

Condomania tracked 27,000 men in 70 countries and declared New Orleans the BIG winner. Washington, DC came in second, with San Diego, New York City and Phoenix rounding out the top five. As far as the state-wide results, New Hampshire was the dark horse winner with Oregon, New York, Indiana and Arizona following.

[full story at BlogOfNewOrleans.com]

Though it's also possible that our eyes are bigger than our dicks. Or maybe we buy one size up, just like we buy our pants.

Everywhere else, it was just Tuesday

2010-02-17T11:09:00.004-06:00

[FYI, I took five pics all day. Jonno did much better.]

Shopping on Ash Wednesday

2010-02-17T08:11:00.002-06:00

In light of yesterday's debauchery, perhaps it's time to invest in a few Hieronymus Bosch figurines. You know, as a sort of memento mori-slash-dustcatcher?

Just between us, I can't believe they're real, either. But they totally are!

[via Su]

Although that video was nice, I hope my Fat Tuesday looks like this

2010-02-16T11:15:00.003-06:00

If that image isn't moving, curse your browser and click through to ThreeFrames
[via Trainwrecks]

Mardi Gras in New Orleans, 1941

2010-02-16T09:34:00.001-06:00

[via Jonno]

Well, this is depressing

2010-02-15T13:50:00.003-06:00

YouTube now offers a look at your download speed and how it compares to other users, which in turn, gives you an idea of how your ISP stacks up. Not surprisingly, AT&T sucks total ass:

Help me Google Broadband, you're my only hope.

Adorable man tells off the Catholic church, remains completely adorable

2010-02-15T11:26:00.005-06:00

I know this clip is a couple of months old, and in it, I know that Stephen Fry doesn't say much that hasn't been said many, many times before, but his rebuke of the Catholic church is beautiful and eloquent, and frankly, if he is accepting applications for new fans/stalkers, I would love to put my name on the list. I never heard back from Frank Rich, so I've got an opening (in my schedule).

Of course, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a Catholic. But I was raised in a devout, Southern Baptist household, and from what my papist pals tell me, the experience is oddly and unpleasantly similar, only with more rulers to the hand and less green bean casserole. So although I may never have been to catechism class (or whatever they call it), I can entirely identify with what Mr. Fry is saying. Word up, ladies and gentlemen.

FYI, this isn't Fry's entire speech, but it's the best clip I can find on YouTube. The full bit is posted (in un-embeddable form) at DailyMotion.

[via BigEZBear]

Glamour Defined, or, Don't Hate

2010-02-15T07:11:00.000-06:00

[via Trainwrecks]

Non-sequiturs are the new talking babies

2010-02-12T15:00:00.000-06:00

Terrible screencap, I know, but trust me: those images have NOTHING to do with the text. Between this and those dancing aliens in mortgage banner ads, I don't know which is worse.

Alexander McQueen: March 17, 1969 - February 11, 2010

2010-02-11T11:40:00.001-06:00

[Details at NYTimes]