STYLESLUT R.I.P 2005-2011

STYLESLUT IS OVER

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 16:45:00 +0000

How long will they mourn us? Probably not for long, but hey, what's a blogger to do? A slut can only keep doing slutty stuff for so long before she catches something nasty or has too many bastard babies to look after. A big thank you to everyone that's taken the time to read a post, buy our shit or call us dicks in the comments section over the years, we appreciate all the love and the hate, but it's time to hang up our MacBooks. It's been emotional, guys.

STYLESLUT R.I.P 2005- 2011

THE BLOG IS OVER, IT'S TIME TO GET PRETTY REAL

See you on the internet.

xoxo

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DEVONTE HYNES?

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Sat, 21 May 2011 12:12:00 +0000

Veuillez installer Flash Player pour lire la vidéo

Concert du Grand Journal - Theophilus London - Last Name London

He's in Cannes! Look, there he is playing the guitar with Theodopolopodus! He has an intense look in in his eyes, like a man on the verge of greatness. Oh and did you know he's writing songs with Sasha Fierces' sister, Solange? Dev, you're my hero!

P.S. This is the best thing I've seen on you tube in the past 28 days.

GO, DEV!

Previously: Dev munches fries with Sasha

DC

BOOTY AND BANANANS

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Tue, 17 May 2011 22:53:00 +0000

If you weren't already aware of it, the best place for all you lonely people to find a partner, is in a supermarket. Sure, we don't have any Walmarts in the UK, but that may be a blessing in disguise, because I'm guessing most of these women have sexually related infections.

DC

'STUFF IN MY VAGINA': CORRUPTING OUR YOUTH, ONE DAY AT A TIME

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Fri, 13 May 2011 18:23:00 +0000

It's nice to see that Tumblr has shifted the stuff little girls obsess over from silly stuff like cheerleading, barbie-dolls and Zack from Saved by the bell, to a girl who puts different sized objects inside her vagina and pops a pic of her dirty work up on the internet. My 12 year old cousin BBM'd me and told me to check out this 'LOLtumblr', and now I'm a little worried that she may follow suit, or even worse try and outdo her favourite new blog by seeing how many penises she can fit up there.

While I go and pray for my easily manipulated and hopefully still a virgin cousin, you can check out the Tumblr here:

stuffinmyvagina.tumblr.com

BEING GAY AND BLACK AND A RAPPER IS THE NEW BLACK

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 01:42:00 +0000

Odd Future 2.0?

THINGS OF AN EXCITING PERSUASION: 'ISYS TV'

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 01:41:00 +0000

My friend has a great little fashion site called 'ISYS (I Saw You Standing)'. It's exciting because it's not wanky and pretentious like many other fashion sites, plus this one uses video to showcase real fashion, on real people. Each video tells a silent short-story, but you can make up your own little back-story for the vids in your head, if you want. That's the cool thing about art, it's open to individual interpretation. I learnt that at art school!

So I guess I'll just go ahead and imagine that every girl on there wants to give me a blow-job. That's a little something I like to call 'art for art's sake' (I learnt about that at art school, too).

Check out the ISYS site here: www.isysarchive.tv

Words: Dash Snowplough

THINGS OF AN EXCITING PERSUASION

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 17:34:00 +0000

People say that styleslut is a negative entity with nothing positive to say about anyone or anything. Hearing statements like that hurts harder than someone pouring a cup of hot Ovaltine all over your new Macbook - which is why we've decided to introduce a new regular feature where we talk about exciting! new things and outline why we're so excited! about them. We'll even highlight the main element of praise to make it easy for you guys to cut out and keep. Who loves you like we do?

--

Pusha T - Cook It Down from Illusive Media on Vimeo.

As far as songs about drugs and the exciting/terrifying lifestyle of a drug-dealer goes, this sounds pretty damn good. The video even features that cool little 'cook-coke' dance that Lil B invented at 1:22.

I am excited about Pusha T as a rapper and cannot wait to hear his new mixtape , which is released on the internet on March 21st.

Fingers crossed it doesn't sound anything like the last Clipse album and Kanye doesn't have him rapping about where he gets his salmon-pink suits tailored.

Words: Donald Crunk

BEING CREATIVE IS COMPLICATED

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:46:00 +0000

If your life-goal is to be a “creative” person, then there’s lots of cool stuff you can do to achieve happiness and tranquility. You could make some art, start a clothing line, direct an indie film, start a band or maybe even write a book. If you’re a pretty girl with no talent, then you could sleep with the popular guys and/or girls who do all the actual creative stuff. I guess that could be fun too?

The downside of being creative is the insecurity and self-doubt that hangs over your head like a bad haircut. If by some chance you do actually become successful at your chosen craft, then the rest of your life will turn into a series of frustrating 100-meter dashes to a creative finish line, where the gold medals are made of internet praise, living hand-to-mouth and maybe an awkward threesome every once in a while. If you are talented (i.e. lucky) enough to trip over that elusive creative pot of gold, then the entire community that praised you on the come up, will be on your arse waiting for you to fuck up so they can take your spot.

Here are a few examples of creative people from across the spectrum of struggling with success/coming up/getting hated on/”Wait, is that dude still alive?”

HARMONY KORINE

This guy right here. I remember seeing Kids and being blown away. My heart stopped when Chloe found out she had herpes. Hold on, it wasn’t Herpes, was it? It was AIDS, right? Fuck. That movie made me wanna make movies. I mean real movies with real people. The people I see on buses and in overpriced sandwich shops. I remember pitching a weird reality-drama-com to The Big Pink’s drummer Akiko. She was really into it, but for some reason, it never happened. Harmony’s making art for Urban Outfitters now, which I imagine pays quite well.

—

TAVI

I wonder if this little girl is happy? Blogging about fashion is great and all, but what about the fun kiddy stuff that pre-teens do, like watching cartoons and listening to shitty music? I wonder if she’s ever experienced stuff like that? I sure hope so, because people in fashion are usually depressed cunts who hate carbs and secretly despise their sartorially insecure lives.

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KESH

When Myspace was king, this London girl ruled the post gangsta-rap, ironic gold-rope-chain wearing, “I just fell out of the ’80s” demographic. Guys wanted to fuck her and girls wanted to eat her. Kanye West wore her home-made tee, then she did some “kind-of-a big-deal” fashion stuff in between DJ slots and updating her Myspace. I believe she lives in the States now.

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THE STROKES

Click to enlarge

I saw this picture and it made me a little depressed. They look like a bunch of ageing douchebags. Is this what money and fucking super models does to you? And doesn’t Julian look a little chubby/depressed/”meh” in this new vid?

Plus, I just downloaded Angles, it sounds like a bunch of shitty B-sides.
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VINCENT GALLO

Buffallo 66 is an Amazing movie. I never managed to catch The Brown Bunny, but Vincey boy is pretty funny on Twitter too. No idea what he’s up to now.

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HENRY HOLLAND

Sometimes all that matters in life is knowing the right people and showing up to all the right parties. If you get that right, then everything else falls into place. That’s the bad thing about the creative industry; spend too much time schmoozing and fucking, and you’ll forget about the important things, like talent and humility.
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PHARRELL

See above. Actually, “Skateboard P” played his part in some amazing hip-hop records, but then he got lazy and turned into Henry Holland.

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OFWGKTA/LIL B

Man, the internet is a weird and scary place. Sometimes it mirrors the “real world,” but most of the time it doesn’t. More often than not, all it mirrors is a big fat stupid lie. I asked a bunch of hip-hop heads what they thought of Odd Future and Lil B, and they’d never heard of either. And these guys know a lot about hip-hop. The internet had me convinced that OFWGKTA and Lil B were famous. Then it clicked: People who like this kind of rap, don’t actually like “rap.” They like lolzy little memes they can post onTumblr and skits on Funny or Die:

Odd Future Gets Signed from Odd Future

Fuck you for making me look stupid, internet.

Words: Donald Crunk

This post originally appeared on Street Carnage

STUFF WE FOUND ON THE INTERNET: AN URBAN STREETWEAR TUMBLR

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 11:56:00 +0000

Found here: From The Endz

Skepta makes a music video while ethnic and caucasian trailer-trash have sex in the background

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 22:17:00 +0000

Skepta is a former grime mc who now makes pop music with an urban, rap-fueled edge. His music contains out-dated elements such as auto-tune and hooks sung by Asian people who used to be in Eastenders. His latest video is an obvious attempt to remain relevant, because it has shocking and grotesque scenes of two unattractive people having sex 'all over the house', in a more shocking and grotesque manner than has ever been shown in a video by any other ex-grime artist. This has caused twitter, Facebook and forums where people with no jobs discuss grime, to be overloaded with links and thoughts about the video and the future of Skepta's career.

Is this desperate move the final nail in grimes coffin?

Will this encourage more urban acts to make porn-promos?

Why are british pornstars so ugly?

Does anybody even care?

Watch the full vid here

"I LIKE INTERNET RAP AND SLIGHTLY ETHNIC SURROUNDINGS"

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 01:01:00 +0000

Every time I open up the bag of fun that I call the internet, Nicki Minaj, Lil B or Odd Future comes tumbling out of it. And sometimes I'm not even on Tumblr! Weird , huh? To make it in the post-rappin, post-talented era of internet-rap, you have to come equipped with memes, bloggable red-carpet-ready hairstyles and/or an avalanche of surreal and zany(?) tweets .

LIL B is the obvious king of internet-rap, because he not only 'FUCKED ALL YOUR BITCHES', but he's also a #MASTERCHEF who praises the mighty #BASEDGOD. And who is the Based God, you ask? Fuck knows, just look at the dumb pictures, laugh at them, then post them on your friends wall on Facebook. This is internet-rap, nobody really cares what these people are saying.

Words: Donald Crunk

SOMETHING NEW THAT WE LIKE

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 17:21:00 +0000

We like this - in fact, we like it a lot. It's a really good video; it's stark, cold and sexy - a bit like a hispster-rap version of Single Ladies. Plus the internet seems to like it a lot, and anything the internet likes, gets a big THUMBS UP from us.

JULIAN WASN'T KIDDING: THIS SHIT IS. FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 00:03:00 +0000

The new strokes album cover could be the best album cover of the year, or maybe even the last ten years. Despite various 'trolling' accusations, we're convinced that this is the real deal. It encompasses everything that a civilised human's life should revolve around and if you're not at this stage in your life yet, it shows what you can achieve if you work hard enough.

A CLOWN!

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A UNICORN!

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A BLACK SPORTS-PERSON!

--

It's pretty hard not to be bowled over by such iconic imagery. Despite the fact that the 'unicorn' in the distance may in fact be a goat, our expectations are still pretty high. If the music is halfway as good as the art, then this may even top MBDTF in internet and IN REAL LIFE praise.

Imagine that.

WHY BLACK GIRLS ON THE INTERNET ARE BETTER THAN WHITE ONES

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 13:39:00 +0000

Black women are beautifully layered and stupidly intriguing creatures. No matter what your racial preference is, you can’t argue that their cavernous cultural quirks and rich history are a delight to explore.

But all that stuff aside, a lot of them have really big fucking asses and no other race on this planet knows how to shake, jiggle, bounce or bake ‘em quite like black girls do. Here are some of the best urban cuties that the internet has to offer.

CUBANA LUST

If you want to be an urban model who has a following on the internet, then you have to be built like a brick shit-house. Black men like their internet celebrities to be on the thick, verging on fat, side. White women will look at these girls and be confused because everything their fashion blogs say is beautiful is suddenly thrown head-first into a swirling black hole of cellulite, thick hips and attitude before being spat right back at them and rubbed in their skinny little faces. It’s like a giant fuck you to Anna Wintour or whoever it is who convinces girls that every guy likes skinny girls with real hair and positive goals in life.
—

LASTARYA

I seriously doubt that there’s a straight man on Earth who could watch these vids and not wonder how he can go about sticking his penis, hands and tongue directly in between that black girl’s butt cheeks. It’s a beautiful sight to behold. So beautiful that it verges on holy. Remember that weirdo who was gonna set fire to a bunch of Korans a while back? He probably watched this vid and wanted to stamp out every other religion that didn’t originate from the church of DA BUTT.

Maybe he wasn’t so weird after all.
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MALIAH MICHEL

The beauty of urban modeling on the internet is the whole Photoshop aspect. Bad skin, that irritating bit of fat that hangs over your underwear and fighting scars can be zapped away with the swipe of a mouse.

To be honest, I fucking hate pictures that have been heavily Photoshopped. The fact that a lot of these women look “lived in” is what makes them so great. I wanna see all the bumps, dips and dents that they’ve accumulated on the highway of life. Which is why appreciate girls like Maliah for showing off an ass that definitely looks a little lived in. The highway of life is never smooth, but that doesn’t mean the journey is any less awesome.
—

PEBBLEZ

Yup, that vid is real. It hasn’t even been altered. Black girls don’t do things by halves, ya’ll. It’s obviously been injected with human fat, whale blubber and God knows what else, but that’s not the issue here. It’s a curious oddity that you’re gonna stare at and b a little confused by, but you’re still gonna e-mail it to all your friends. Then you’re gonna go back and watch it again because you can’t stop thinking about it. You’ll be sitting at work and your boss will be breaking your balls because you went 10 minutes over your allocated lunch period and all you’ll be seeing is Pebblez and her bulbous chocolate ass floating around the room. And that’s a good fucking feeling, so embrace it.
—

KEYSHIA DIOR

Hey girl, love your hair! What’s that called, a mullet? And the lines you’ve shaved on the side are a throwback to hip-hop culture, right? You’ve probably figured out that I’m only talking about your hair because I wanna swim inside your vagina for 10, maybe 15 minutes. And if that’s not a problem, then I’d be interested in taking this conversation to the next level. Then maybe after that I can eat strawberries out of your asshole.

Words: Donald Crunk

This was posted on Street Carnage, too.

EVERYTHING YOU'LL EVER NEED TO KNOW ABOUT FASHION

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 18:20:00 +0000

I AM FASHION HEAR ME ROAR is all about fashion and what the people who wear the clothes are really thinking. It’s like Being John Malkovich but for people who care about important stuff, like shoes or the exact location of where the buttons on their new Burberry trench were made. Here is the essential IAFHMR guide on how to win at fashion:

CONFUSION IS GOOD

Confusing normal people is bad because humans hate it when things don’t add up. It makes them feel like they’re not in control and that all the stuff they’ve learned in school was a huge tub of lies. Fashion people are different, they love that shit. Guys who look like girls, blacks who look like Asians, Asians who look like calculators — it doesn’t really matter, as long as it’s confusey and juxtaposey, they’ll lap that shit up. To them, anything that doesn’t add up is “current,” “forward” and most importantly, “fabulous.”
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DRUGS NEVER GET OLD

Remember: Fashion is always more fun when you’ve done enough coke to lose all your inhibitions and forget who you’re wearing, because in all honesty, nobody really gives a shit. Everyone just wants to get laid. Fashion is just the foreplay.
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BE REALISTIC

If you have a big ass, tattoos, lots of weaves and look anything like those two lovely ladies up there, then be honest with yourself: YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO BE A SUPERMODEL. Naomi made it 65% harder for you by being a mobile-phone throwing bitch and most of the white people who make the clothes hate the size of your ass. Your best bet is to throw in the super-model towel and start harassing Gucci Mane on Twitter. At least then you’d have a shot at starring in his next video.

—

HANG WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Try and maintain a tight social circle of friends and associates who share your sense of style, but ultimately, DO NOT HAVE A FUCKIN’ CLUE HOW TO LOOK AS GOOD AS YOU DO. Life is much easier when you and all your buddies have interchangeable haircuts and drug habits, but it’s even more fun when you do it that much better than all of ‘em.
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DIVERSITY IS GOOD, SOMETIMES

Is your style becoming predictable and mundane? Get some black friends and jazz up your wardrobe. Nothing says “fashion” more than diversity.
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DON’T GET DEPRESSED AND COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE YOUR FRIENDS LOOK BETTER THAN YOU

Fashion is fun, enjoy it! There’s no point in getting all bummed just because one of your pals has better shoes than you. Besides, you’ll never get a chance to “style on them hoes” if you’re a corpse.

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STAY YOUNG

Getting old sucks. Clothes no longer fit like they used to, your skin starts to sag and your butt looks like it’s searching for the fastest route to the pavement. Fuck that shit.
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IT’S ALL IN THE EYES

Fashion doesn’t come from your heart, your good looks or your wallet — believe it or not, it doesn’t even come from your soul. It’s all in the eyes, people. You can wear cheap stuff from head to toe, but if your eyes say Fendi, then Fendi it is. Sure, Tyra says this stuff all the time on that stupid show of hers, but if there’s one thing my mum taught me about life, it’s that black trannies know a hell of a lot about fashion. Now go forth and smize:

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BRAND YOURSELF PROPERLY

OK guys, if you’re not gettin’ this whole fashion thing by now, then you really need to wise up. Branding is paramount. You’re a product, so you gotta promote yourself properly. You need to find your “thing” and push it TO INFINITY. Why should anyone waste their time looking at or bloggin’ about you? Oh, you got a haircut, you say? So what, everybody’s got a haircut. Oh, but you got a haircut AND a giant inflatable penis? Hello, next big thing!

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Check out more daily fashion brain-burps and style tips at iamfashionhearmeroar.com

Words: Donald Crunk

This post originally appeared on Street Carnage

STUFF WE FOUND ON THE INTERNET: A FAN-MADE VIDEO WITH LOTS OF ASS & AGGRESSIVE DANCING

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 18:40:00 +0000

Found here

AM I A JERK? ' I FUCKED MY EX BOYF'S BRO'

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 00:35:00 +0000

Is there a dating clause that says you can't sleep with two brothers? I mean, It's not like my ex rocked my world mentally or physically; in fact, I remember feeling horribly claustrophobic and somewhat insane while we were together. Plus he had a terrible sense of style. There was more than one occasion when we visited the local Tesco Express - and I know I shouldn't have expected much sartorial effort in a supermarket - but the guy was a total mess. I remember gazing at a box of Special k for three whole minutes while I thought about how I could go about dumping him. I mean, the guy used to wear white knee-high boxing boots and shit. Euuugh.

Fast forward to two months later and the poorly dressed shopper had been X'D. Life was good again! I was over him and pretty much all guys when I bumped into his bro in Sainsbury's (notice a trend here?). We small talked about life and the weather for about five minutes when I realised that he was the faster, stronger and more stylish version of my ex. Hmmm.

Fast forward to three weeks later and we had fucked. Over and over and over again. It was good too, way better than anything my ex could have thrown at me. Plus I think the sneaky part made it even more enjoyable. Does that make me a bitch? A cum-guzzling whore? I dunno. And to be honest, I really don't care.

WORDS: THE JERK

FOUR REASONS WHY JAMES BALDWIN WAS A BETTER HUMAN-BEING THAN YOU

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 16:57:00 +0000

If you've ever tried to pull off the 'hip black dude' vibe (looking at you, 90% of white male population) then you were unwittingly imitating the illustrious Mr. Baldwin. As one of the coolest gay writers of the mid 20th-century, Baldwin was famous for scripting badass essays that helped to force those pesky white intellectuals to understand that black people could write more than simplistic novels about slaves and oppression.

Amongst other things, Baldwin wrote the kind of experimental shit that people sitting in European cafes could talk about to gain hipster bonus-points. Here's a quick Baldwin lowdown for you to skim-read and casually drop into conversation with your next fuck-buddy-to-be:

He was born in Harlem. Were you born in Harlem? And no, East Dulwich isn't anywhere near as famous for producing literary geniuses.

Just when everyone started appreciating his musings on black people in American society, he turned the lens onto the very people scrutinising himself and his contemporaries (check out Giovanni's Room. Total white-fest).

His friends were next level – if you hung out with Malcolm X, Nina Simone and Marlon Brando, then maybe you could quit that job at Urban outfitter's and actually make something of yourself. What? Stop crying bro, your guyliner's running.

He actually made a difference to the Civil Rights Movement. Next time you go on that Pescetarian Fixed Gear Bikers convention, think about people who do stuff that's actual worthwhile.

Words: African Velvet

THE THREE BEST THINGS ABOUT THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 10:40:00 +0000

There’s nothing I love more than reality TV. I think about it when I’m on the toilet, I think about it while I’m having sex – hell, I even think about it while I’m watching non-reality TV shows, like Eastenders or one of those listy shows where ugly looking critics like Grace Dent talk about stuff which annoys them.

One of my favourite reality shows in recent times is ‘The Only Way is Essex’. Probably because it showcases you white people in a truly amazing and unique way. Who knew that ‘normals’ outside of the royal family were living such glamorous lives? I now realise what I can attain if I W.H.P.H.T.H. (That’s short for ‘Work hard, play hard and tan hard’, newbies).

Apart from the homo-erotic relationship between the two male leads Arg and Mark, the tip-top bestest thing about the show is the girls. I don’t know what happened to me during childhood, but in my eyes, these women are the crazy, sexy and ever so cool future of womankind. Let’s take a look at what makes them so great:

AMY CHILDS

Yup, she does look like she has a Masters degree in blow jobs and sex in the anus. And, yes, she does look a hell of a lot like Jordan, but – NOTE TO ALL GIRLS: guys still love Jordan. No matter how sleazy or irrelevant she appears to have become, every guy still carries a flame for the mentally unhinged vixen who churns out auto-biographies and has a disabled brown baby. It’s a shame that Amy’s main selling point is looking like Jordan, but that’s just the way the cookie, or in Amy’s case, the anti-septic cream that conceals her cold sores, crumbles.

BEST THINGS ABOUT AMY: Her lips and the way she talks (it makes her sound dumb and easy)

WORST THINGS ABOUT AMY: Various STI’s

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LAUREN GOODGER

FUUUCK-ING HELL, WHAT A COW! DIRTY SLAAAG! Ahem, yes, Lauren is ‘the beey-otch’ of the show. She steals people’s boyfriends, kills small animals and ties the petrol-doused bodies of Asian children to the back of her sports car to drive (Zing?) the point home. Actually, I’m not really sure about that ‘boyfriend-stealing’ part, because the guy she is ‘stealing’ in the show, Mark (BOOOO!), is technically still hers. If you haven’t seen the show yet, the love triangle between Lauren, mark and the other girl with the tiny face is quite exhilarating. It’s what drives Lauren to be the cold, cunning, heartless bitch she is and that’s why I love her. Bros love the unhinged danger aspect of trying to tame bitches like Lauren. It’s fun, exciting and sexy. Bitchy women are also pretty darn amazing in the sack. It’s something to do with hormones and testosterone, I think.

BEST THINGS ABOUT LAUREN: She’s evil and sexy.

WORST THINGS ABOUT LAUREN: Clingy, possessive, evil.

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NANNY PAT

Screw Mark’s sister and her lame girl band, Nanny Pat ticks all the boxes on my ‘what I dig in a woman’ list. She cooks, has a GSOH and I’m guessing she has a lot of experience in the bedroom. She’s like the ultimate cougar.

BEST THING ABOUT NANNY PAT: She can cook her ass off

WORST THINGS ABOUT NANNY PAT: A wrinkled and possibly dilapidated vagina

Words: Donald Crunk

This was on Platform, too.

STUFF WE FOUND ON THE INTERNET: A NEWSPAPER FULL OF PHOTOS BY JANETTE BECKMAN

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 11:49:00 +0000

Found here.

AM I A JERK?

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 11:18:00 +0000

I constantly find myself in Larry David-esque situations where everyone around me questions my social etiquette and interpersonal skills. I'm sorry, but they never taught me how to be a 'good guy' at school. That's something you have to learn from TV, books and the Internet. And I've consumed a lot of crap from those three mediums over the years, so I'm guessing that's why I suck at interacting with other people.

'I always look down at people who are less well off than me financially or mentally'

I'm not rich by any means, in fact, there's probably about a thousand other blogger/stylists/creative entrepreneurs out there with rich Mummies and Daddies who could shit all over my 'just above the level which means you're living hand 2 mouth' ass and have PHD's in 'being really really brainy', but fuck it. If you don't:

Dress as well as me

Have a blackberry or an I-phone

The right shoes

Know who the creative people I casually namedrop during conversations are

...then you're beneath me. Which is a stupid fucking way to judge if somebody is worth talking to, right? I mean, who dragged me up? Seriously, my monetary sensibilities are so screwy. They don't make any sense.

I'm sure there are plenty of amazing and intelligent people out there with no sense of style and a crappy mobile phone who have no idea who Sam Lipsyte or Michael Haneke are. I just hope they stay the hell away from me.

Words: The Jerk

Also available on our new Tumblr: thestyleslut.tumblr.com

I MUST MAKE A DECISION BETWEEN JAY ELECTRONICA AND ODD FUTURE FOR SOME STRANGE UNEXPLAINABLE REASON

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 17:19:00 +0000

This fucking guy Jay Electronica is supposedly the future of (real authentic) hip-hop, but I'm a bit confused. I thought Odd Future Golf Balls were the bloggable googleable twit-pic I-pad version of Wu Tang aka THE FUTURE? So which one is it internet, the future may be bright, but there's only one (real) path to the sun. Well, at least that's what my mum says and I can always rely on her to know what the hell she's talking about. An-y-waaays Jay Electronica looks old and anything that's proclaimed to be the future has to look relatively young and cool, otherwise I'm not buying it.

So I guess Imma roll with Odd Future. Mainly because that's what the internet tells me to do (THEY RAP! THEY SKATE! THEY HAVE A TUMBLR FOLLOWIN!) and that ad for Mountain Dew proves that Jay Electroballs isn't the future of anything. Except maybe his mortgage and future child support payments. Thus: FUCK MOUNTAIN DEW, FUCK JAY ELECTRONICA AND FUCK THIS AD.*

*Oh and fuck the police, my moms, my girl and old people in general.

Words: Big Daddy Blog

STUFF WE FOUND ON THE INTERNET: A GUY IN A TURBAN IN A VARIETY OF SNAZZY OUTFITS

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 17:11:00 +0000

We always receive e-mails from people who have to wear turbans on a regular basis, saying stuff like ‘Hi, how can I incorporate my turban into my modern style without looking stupid?’ or ‘Pull my finger whitey LOL’, and we normally ignore them, but at least this dude can solve some of you guys problems.

More looks here

WE'RE ON TUMBLR, TOO

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 00:13:00 +0000

Hey guys, did you have a good X Mas? We hugged a few cats, kissed some fairly ugly babies and set up our new tumblr blog:

thestyleslut.tumblr.com

We're working on our shiny new site at the moment, but until then, you can follow us on our Tumblr. We'll still put the majority of posts up on here too, but 99 % of our new shit will go up on the Tumblr first. So tell all your friends to go here and click that little 'follow' button so you can get your dose of Styleslut brain farts the minute they pop out of our stupid heads. Thanks for reading.

xoxo

STYLESLUT PRAISES BLACK WOMEN WHO MAKE R'n'B IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET MORE BLACK FOLLOWERS

noreply@blogger.com (.) — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 23:36:00 +0000

Girls are great! Old news, right? But what about black girls who can sing, dance, make court-side appearances at basketball games w/rappers and have twitter beefs with other girls that sing, dance and do all that court-side basketbally stuff, too? Awesome! Welcome to our new regular column 'DREAMS OF FUCKIN AN R&B BITCH' (or 'DOFARBB' for shortsies) dedicated to the best girls in R&B/hip-hop and why all you dirty little white boys will wanna jerk off over them.

DOFARBB 01: CIARA

Have you seen this girls bod? It’s smokin. And I mean, like, ridiculously. It’s really special. Her Gimme Dat video showed off her statuesque legs, which look like two well-oiled bus lanes that have a very high chance of leading to the gates of heaven. Yeah, I’m guessing her vagina is pretty heavenly in both appearance and texture.

Ciara had a few shakey moments a while back when people though she may have a penis, which probably wasn’t helped by her singing about being a boy, but all that silly hermaphrodite stuff is all under the carpet now. She’s all woman and is quite the mover; like a sexy urban snake who’s been possessed by an 808. Oh and lets not forget that she fucked Bow Wow. He’s short and if his twitter updates are anything to go by, pretty fucking depressed. If he can get in that vagina, then anyone can. And that’s the true meaning of urban beauty, ya’ll: Accessibility.

Words: Mike Google

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