What's your style?

What type of music do you listen to?

Have you been asked that question before? Maybe from a potential date, maybe even on a date?

I have been. The answer seems to change a lot. Sometimes, its “A bit of everything” or “you know….similar to X band”, yet other times it is completely different.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation?

The solution: find your Genre!

So what is a genre? Technically its probably something associated more with professional muso’s who are focused around the “music language”. I play the drums and have been in several bands and don’t understand how this works, so let’s leave that for the people who studied music in college.

What I am talking about is more the “style” of music that we listen too and the broad classification that the majority of our favourite songs and albums would fall into.

Once we find this out I believe it becomes a lot easier to actively pursue new and different music that we like.

The main (widely) accepted style/genres are: Pop, Rock, Jazz, R & B, Rap, Country, Blues, Electronic, Latin, Reggae, World, Classical, give or take a few extra’s in there.

However, I do not believe that by saying “I like pop music” or “R & B music is my genre” really tells 1. Yourself and 2. anyone else what sort of music you like, effectively making it useless trying to find new/different bands with similar styles of music.

So What do we do now?

Firstly, I don’t think it is important to know every style of music that possibly exists in the world to truly find your own. Hence, I have come up with a quick and hopefully easy system to help you out with finding the 1-10 “sub genre’s” you need to know in order to ‘once and all’ put your finger on what type of music you like:

The System

Step 1: Go to www.allmusic.com

Step 1 - All Music

Step 2: Type in your favorite band. NB: not only should it be your favourite, but also one that makes you think “I would do anything to find a new band with similar sort of music to this one!”. If your number 1 favourite does not fit these criteria, then go onto number 2.

Step 3: specifically note the “styles” column and what styles this band falls under.

Step 3 - styles!

Step 4: From here there are a number of things you can do: 1. find similar artists straight away. 2.  Compare against moods you enjoy (moods column) 3. Or one of my favourites: click on the “style” you think is most relevant and you get can get lots and lots of suggestions of the top bands associated within this Genre.

Step 4 - new music and band suggestions!

Step 5: Repeat steps 1-3 above until you have found YOUR GENRE (top 1-10 styles)

For your interest my main styles are: Indie Rock/pop/electronic, Alternative Rock, New Wave/post punk revival. These style’s appeared again and again as I typed in the myriad of artists that I like.

Take Action

1. Pretty simple: complete steps 1-5 above, find your genre, and do your best to find other music (especially new and upcoming bands/artists) within the same style that YOU love to listen too.

What do you think? What genres did you come up with? Do you have any other methods for finding new and cool music?

Be ready to get results!

This post is continued from Part 1.

5.  Iron your shirts – Sounds simple and almost amateur advice. But if I had a dollar for every gen Y male that I saw with an unironed shirt I would be one rich man. Even if you don’t iron it well, as long as it looks like you have cared the result on your image, and attraction from the opposite sex can be 10 fold. That is not an exaggeration. Just iron your shirts and look like you care about your appearance. Women take lots of time in their appearance and they really appreciate a man who will do the same.

6. Batch your email – Not exactly style advice, I know, but this is a very liberating little trick to do, and one that can save you lots of time (so that you have more time for that grooming session that you are going to do weekly J). I won’t expand too much on this, because I will let the master Tim Ferriss here explain it for you. But, make sure you will do it and you will easily have an extra 10 hours a week to yourself. Trust me I have saved even more than that each and every week just from doing it.

7.  Keep records of outfits that you think look good – Have you ever come to the point and thought “I need some new clothes” and then went and bought some, only to realise that what you bought was trendy at the time, and in a few weeks they were out of style, or they didn’t really suit your image in the first place? Then you have to buy more clothes again and waste twice as much money.

To overcome this, first you need to take notice of what other people wear. If they look good, don’t be afraid to take notice and look at trying the same thing yourself one day soon.

Now days if I see an outfit that I like in a magazine, or a manikin in the front of a store with a cool kit on, I take a picture on my iphone for later reference. Similarly if I am browsing on the web and see a similar sort of thing I will just right click and save the pic in a folder on my desk top.

That way when it comes to shopping, I have a quick 5 minute look through my archives and say I will try this, this and this and it’s all done. Lasting style! and no trends that will be out in a week.

8. Go the extra step when you get dressed – This might sound very ambiguous. The concept is very similar to the last post I done here .

To be considered stylish and have an image that people recognise, you need to stand out from the crowd. All it means is that you should dress up a notch higher to everyone around you. If people where jeans and a t-shirt to an event – you should wear jeans and a button down shirt. If others wear a shirt and slacks – you should add a tie. If others add a tie – you should wear a blazer, or a bow tie. I am sure you get the picture.

This is always difficult at the start, even expect lots of comments. Some will be compliments, some will seem as though they are making fun of you, but that’s what people do when they are jealous of what you wear.

9. Just ask the question – Over the past 12 months or so I have done so many “mini experiments on this topic. It is amazing what you can get if you just ask. Want something free? – just ask. Want to advance the line to get into the club that? – just ask (with an angle helps – more on my full proof method on this coming soon). Want a discount on something you are buying? – just ask. Want your bank to reverse the last late fee they charged you – just ask? Want to go out with that cute girl in accounts? – just ask.

You are not going to get what you want absolutely every time. But from my experience 50-75% of the time you do. Just remember – Ask with Confidence!

10. Work out – If you are not currently working out regularly you are doing yourself the biggest injustice known to man.  The benefits are endless, and I am sure most of you should be aware of them. From confidence and mental clarity to just plain looking good as a result. The fact is it works and will improve every single aspect of your life. Start, start right away and continue to do it regularly.

So there we have it. 10 simple things you can do with big results.

Take Action

1. Choose 1 or the above. Only 1 – the one that you think is most relevant to you and will have the biggest impact on your life. Then put it into action. Make it a regular thing that you do. Only after you are doing it regularly should you chose and take action on another.

What do you think? Have you got any simple new year’s resolutions? Are there any of the 10 things that I have mentioned above would you like me to expand on in a future post?

10 simple yet effective things!

Happy Australia Day! As I write this today is Australia day 26^th of Jan and it won’t be long before I venture off to a friend’s BBQ for beers and listen to the hottest 100 songs in Aus for the year, but first I wanted to get out this post.

Welcome back all! This is my first post for 2010 and although I planned on posting it sooner, I have been extremely busy in amongst the holidays, travel and new projects that I am working on. It is all very exciting. Details of my new projects will be released as soon as they are up and running.

As I was getting over my extreme eating and drinking habits from the Christmas and New Year’s period I got to thinking of some little things that will be good to focus on in order to get maximum results. i.e. “bang for my buck actions”.

In doing so I have come up with a list of 10 minor things (in no particular order) that if done can have a huge impact on not only your style and image but also your life.

1. Have a weekly grooming session – This is not as gay as it sounds actually. I think its important to “groom up “ as much as possible – aim for weekly, do it more if you can, and if you can’t just do it as much as possible.

All you need to do is spend an extra (relaxed) half hour in the morning following your shower, to have a good shave, trim any body hair, use great after shave lotions, moisturize, trim nails, even get a haircut if you need. Long story short, afterward you will feel like a new man and new men have one thing that will help you in all your endeavors – Confidence.

1. Eat More Protein, Less Carbs – Simple! Protein aids in muscle gain, recovery and fat loss. Carbs don’t. By consciously cutting down on Carbs and increasing protein to take their place you will feel and look magnitudes better.

I will be having more on this in the coming month, because I am sure we all have a few pounds from the festive season that we want to get rid of. I will detail how I lost and toned 25 pounds without changing my lifestyle or denying myself indulgence and enjoyment. Stay tuned!!

1. Remember people’s names – I won’t go into too much detail on this because I think it is quite obvious. If you want more detail refer to a previous post I have done here .  This is a skill of leaders and important people, and not really a hard one if you put your mind to it!

1. Listen to New Music Regularly – Get up with the times. Too many 25-35 year old men regurgitate the music that they had lots of fun to in their college days because they are comfortable with it. Its not an attractive feature. Listening to new music can pick you up when you are down, it shows you’re not outdated, and gives a great talking point for girls and other potential friends.

So find your genre, find sites with new and upcoming recommendations and just sit down and listen, or even listen to it in the car instead of that old CD that you have heard 1000 times. More on this to come – I am going to outline step by step some sites I use and how I outsource finding new music, so all I need to do is listen.

To be continued in Part 2

It's that easy!

What if I told you that you could that you could improve your overall style several-fold with:

No cost
No Change in the way you currently dress
By implementing one change

Would you be interested?

Well the truth is that through one simple mind-set shift this is entirely possible. In fact I believe it is the necessary first step in order to undergo your transformation into style. It is probably one of the easiest ways to start and creates for a great mindset shift for the future.

Step It Up A Notch

Although. Not everyone will be aware of it we all have “Notches” on our own “Internal Dress Code”. These notches are just different levels of casual or formal wear WHENEVER we have to get dressed for something.

Everyone of has their own “dress code” for different events and activities in which they participate. Not just parties and special events, but I am referring to the broad sense of EVERYTHING we do. In other words, when were not nude.

All the style books, websites and blogs out there talk about dress codes and keep regurgitating things such as black tie, smart casual etc. but let’s be honest the percentage of times where these dress codes are relevant to us are a very small percentage of the total times in which we actually wear clothes J.

If we can realize our own style dress codes, it makes it easier for us to step them up a notch and instantly become more stylish.

Our own codes

As I said each of us have our own (probably mostly subconscious) dress code for every single thing we do. Typically starts at very casual and hopefully moves up to quite formal (for some people it doesn’t and that is the whole reason we are here trying to work on it, so don’t worry about that).

I have come up with generally 4 core codes for each of us, which should encompass everything.  Everyone will categorize their own differently, which is good and all part of the process. There are also two extra codes which are Formal and Work.

For the purpose of this post work stands by itself because a lot of people will have a standard work uniform or dress code for each individual work place, for example a tradeperson is not going to be able to apply this for work. But personal life is a different story, because this is where we have complete and free choice. NB: Feel free to add work dress into a category if and where you see fit.

As a general rule the higher the code the less number of times in a given month or year you will dress this way, i.e. you will wear code 1 and 2 a lot more than code 4 or the formal code – hence the reason for the triangle:

Our current internal dress code

To put it in perspective below are some events or everyday activities that may coincide with each code:

Code 1

• Staying at home
• Gym, run down the street or working out
• Going for a drive
• Visiting a close friend

Code 2

• Going to the supermarket
• Going for a walk down the street
• Visit a friend
• Going to the shops
• Flying on a plane

Code 3

• Casual Dinner
• Having a day out
• Traveling
• An event or show

Code 4

• Having a night out
• Attending an important function
• Going on a Hot Date

These are just examples and you will probably have different things that fit into each code. The examples above are pretty much what it used to look like for myself.

Money for Nothing

So how does knowing this help us? Well we can use this information now to increase our own internal dress code and step our style up that extra and well deserved notch.

We simply wear what we currently wear in code 2 during our code 1 activities, code 3 for our code 2 activities and code 4 for our code 3 activities and then introducing parts of our formal wear (not all, but mix and match) in what was previously code 4 activities.

The change needed in our internal dress code

Our new internal dress code

By doing this one thing we will increase our style and sophistication and be one step above all our friends and colleagues attending the same places, events or situations. This will cause us to stand out and be noticed which is really the whole aim of the game.

Ultra Casual Should No Longer Exist

Enough said. We should not being wearing super casual clothes out in public or in any one’s eye. We always want to be known as the man who goes that extra effort and looks good, because that’s what women notice and want. If you have women following you, then other men are soon going to follow suit (In a respectful way J).

Take Action

1. Assess your current internal dress codes and what you would likely wear in each code above.
2. Go about making an effort to step it up that extra notch (to the next code) every time you go out and do something in the public eye (which is if ANY one else will be seeing you)

What do you think? What are your typical internal dress codes and how do you determine what you will wear to the next outing, date, event or anything else you need to get dressed for?

Self Explanatory!

Who else hates doing repetitive, ongoing tasks like grooming, exercising and shopping?

Me too…In the past, I have never enjoyed getting a haircut! Every time it was overdue I would get negative feelings that would lead into procrastination.

I wanted to spend my time and money doing something else fun and exciting rather than doing these repetitive things in life that we have to maintain. This would cause me to build up resentment towards the things that are only going to help me in the short-term AND long-run.

I have had the same experience with other grooming events.

Here’s a brief break down of what used to happen around haircut time:

My hair would start getting longer, I would say to myself I have to get a haircut soon. Only remember that when it came time to do my hair in the morning, and then forget it again until the next morning.

• I put it off and put it off. Meanwhile it would get too long and not look good, this would knock down my confidence a peg or two. Also it drained a small amount of mental energy as a result of always thinking I should “get it done soon”, a sense of worry.
• One of the reasons, also, that I didn’t want to get it done is the cost. I didn’t want to spend my money on this, I would rather, buy something fun or use it to go out and have some beers etc.
• I would continue to whinge that I have to do these type of things and use these as a (negative) conversation piece when talking to friends – which is not very cool by the way, and once I realised this made a conscious effort to change.

The one thing I was forgetting through this process:

I have to do it!

It’s inevitable (as much as I don’t like that word). Not inevitable period, but if I want to keep looking good, stay well groomed and constantly impress I would HAVE TO DO IT.

And lets be honest, the same goes with other grooming and everyday obligations that benefit us such as:

• Shaving
• Shaving/trimming/waxing other body hair
• Dressing up more than normal
• Trimming nails
• Working out
• Eating well
• Getting clothes washed, ironed or dry clean (by yourself or others)
• Folding and putting clothes away to keep them in good condition
• Purchasing new clothes
• Even small things such as cleaning teeth, showering, moisturising, putting on cologne as I know a lot of men that forgo even these obligations. And they may sound gay and feminine, but lets be honest they need to be done so we can be at our best.

So, once we accept these things that we need to do and then do them quickly without even thinking about them we can move on to do bigger and better things for our day, week or month, as our mental energy will not be taken up by things that should be a part of our (positive) habits and rituals anyway.

To demonstrate this – Think about the most stylish, powerful and successful man you know. I am sure that they will never even think about these things or bother discussing them, because they are a part of his everyday habits and routine, and they have got a lot bigger and better things to think about and discuss with their friends and colleges.

Accept it! – The all important first step.

Do It

Now that we have accepted it, in the way that someone having to go to AA would first accept that they are an alcoholic, we can moving onto doing our obligations quickly, efficiently and effortlessly.

Below are some tips that, I have used, for some of the obligations that we have as a stylish man:

• Set up an automated schedule – My haircut is simple now, Every 6 weeks A reminder pops up in my calendar, and I get it done within the next couple of days.
• Batch Similar tasks – If I am going to be brushing my teeth in the morning, then why not shave immediately following this, and then trim your eyebrows. I guess this one is pretty self explanatory, but lot of men don’t do this. Make it a routine or ritual if you will. Get all grooming out the way in one go and then your set for the rest of the day.
• Stay organised – This is very general, but the more organised you are the easier it is to do these little things. If something is hard to find then you are not going to do it, simple.
• If there is a cost involved automate the (monthly or weekly) cost into an account to be used for these and THESE ONLY. A $40 haircut once every 6 weeks equates to approx $30 per month. I have this automatically go into my “Style Budget” on pay day, and guess what I have no excuse to not want to fork out the money for my haircut. I will have a lot more on the style budget on a later post so keep tuned.
• Associate something positive with it. Now when I get my haircut I pay the extra $5 to get the hair wash and massage. Now I have the massage to look forward to, which makes me want to go even more. Which is amazing by the way and highly recommended it if you don’t get that done now. There is also nothing better than feeling good after a good grooming session. When it is time to get these things done, picture the positives and it will become a lot easier.
• Make it convenient – Similar to staying organised. Choose a Barber that you can go to whilst on your lunch break at work, or even better on a coffee break, not one that requires a drive a long way and that you can only do after work one night, as this wastes a whole night and there of course is no wonder why you want to put it off.

Take Action

If you find yourself procrastinating everyday things that the stylish, sophisticated and intelligent man should be doing in his sleep then make sure you

1. Accept it. Remember, that’s well over 50% of the battle.
2. Put into place some steps and actions based on the above tips to getting them to the point where you don’t exhaust any mental energy from you at all.
3. Use this left over energy to move onto bigger things. Whatever “bigger” means for you.

What do you think? Are there any other  “sticking points” you have when it comes grooming, general habits and obligations? How do you overcome them?

If you do something different...don't explain why!

Have you ever worn, tried or done something new only to receive negative or condescending comments from friends or other random guys as a result?

Well…you’re not alone. This happens every day and especially to the stylish, adventurous and powerful man.

This IS a good thing

Truth be told getting negative comments is actually a good thing for you because it means you are doing something right.

This may sound counter intuitive, as a lot of successful habits are, but as they say in the marketing world if you’re doing something right you are going to have people oppose it.

It is not even that people are opposing it in a sense… In fact it goes a lot deeper than that.

Why do people make condescending comments?

There are a few reasons why people will make negative comments. Of course it will depend on the situation, environment and relationship you have to that person, but generally it will be one or a combination of the following:

• They are Jealous (or threatened) – This covers a large majority of situations. It can be from a close friend to a stranger, but in the end a lot of comments come back to jealousy
• They actually like what your wearing/doing/tried – especially in the case when close friends throw a tongue in cheek comment your way. Or as the British would say “taking the piss”.
• They want an excuse to talk to you – when strangers say something condescending to you the large majority of the time is because they want an excuse to talk to you, especially when women do this. Unfortunately a lot of men would react with a fight or flight response and the situation can only go worse from there.

So what do we do

Well…what we don’t do is justify ourselves. To illustrate justifying yourself here is a little conversation…

Them: Nice shirt…do they make them for men

You: oh…well…I was shopping the other day with one of my friends…we went into this store that she said was cool…and although I didn’t like it…she thought that it looked good on me, so I bought it etc. etc.

There is no need to go to this effort because:

1. Deep down you know they didn’t actually mean it negatively (refer to the 3 reasons above)

2. You are a stylish male and confidently know what you are wearing is badass; and

3. You don’t need to or want to drop down to their level.

So what would the stylish intelligent man say:

Them: Nice shirt…do they make them for men

You: Yeh they do actually, would you like one? Or something along this line.

Simply dismiss it, positively, confidently and short. It doesn’t even have to be funny at all. But, by no means get caught up in a verbal slogging match or a long winded thought out answer to try and justify your decision…there is no need for it.

Why not justify

For a truly confident man who is “somebody” it’s really not in your reality that anyone should be condescending you or anything you wear. So when you do hear those comments you treat the comment based on one of “the reasons they said it” as described before. i.e. they just wanted to compliment you on what you are wearing, or they wanted an excuse to greet you etc.

It’s basically selective hearing at its best, but is fantastic for your confidence and eventually image.

Plus…why should you justify yourself to someone else, because you have consciously made the decision to wear whatever it is that you are, and that is the main thing.

Take Action

1. 1. Next time you wear or try something different and get comments from anyone, remember there is no need to justify yourself. Be confident in your decision. The more you “don’t justify” yourself, the less condescending comments you will actually receive in the future, because people are not getting “a bite” out of you anymore.

What do you think? Have you had any situations where you felt as though you should justify your actions? What did you do in this situation?

How to enjoy anything...well almost!

A few nights ago I was having beers with friends, when someone offered me an expensive well-aged Scotch to drink.

There was only one problem…I have never really drank it much, and don’t care too much for the taste of it either, and therefore missed out on a great opportunity to say I have tried it.

Truth be told, the more I come to think about it, years ago, I used to be the same with wine,  avocado, tuna, mushrooms, certain types of music and a lot of other things as well.

Until I acquired a taste for them.

This got me thinking about it and I realized, If I didn’t like those things before and now do, what is to stop me from acquiring tastes for other things that I don’t currently like? Hence my research into this began.

What is an acquired taste?

It sounds very “high society” (and I say that tongue in cheek) to say that X “requires an acquired taste” or “I have acquired a taste for X”, but really it’s not like that at all.

An acquired taste is purely the name given to something that is unpleasant upon immediate experience i.e. something that requires a deliberate effort.

There are two broad categories of taste: the first being Literal taste, which applies naturally to food and drink, and the second being aesthetic taste which relates to cultural patterns or choice of preference i.e. music, fashion, art and so forth.

Why acquire a taste for something you don’t particularly like?

I think that it is really important to experience the most you can in life and not be ignorant to anything new or different. Not liking something is not really an excuse that I will allow myself to use anymore, because there were actually lot of things that I now like doing that I didn’t when I first tried them years ago, or I held cognitive fears associated with them at the time that put me off of them.

Liking, tasting and trying exotic, new  things that are not well liked by the masses, has a sense of style about it and comes into an important part of the “lifestyle quart” from the definition of style. It aids in creating your aura, makes you an interesting person, and has other want to get to know you.

How do we acquire a taste?

After doing some research I have come up with a process that will aid in the acquiring of a taste for something (for the purpose of this post I will call it X).

1. Why do you want to acquire X, and look for the POSITIVES in doing it. I think it is just a good idea to know the reason behind why you are doing something, and not just because some bloke suggested in a blog post that it was a good idea to try J. Something simple such as fitting in with a certain crowd or social circle is more than a good enough reason to acquire a taste and have a new experience in your life. Try and come up with 3 positives outcomes that  will add to your life/lifestyle.
2. Find out some background on X. Most people don’t like doing certain things because of the fear of unknown, or they don’t know where to start. If you know the background of X and can appreciate differences between varied types of X (based on your prior knowledge), then you are bound to appreciate X itself. It doesn’t have to be a degree, just something like having a look at Wikipedia is enough and a lot more than most people do before learning something new.
3. Initial exposure. Pretty obvious. Start small, very small if you must.
4. Repeated exposure. Make an effort to try as much as you can and as often as you can. There are some beliefs on acquiring a taste out there that are based on “all or nothing” i.e. eat 20 olives each day for 3 days and you will like them. I have a contrary belief to this and think that it is far better to do a little over longer periods of time, so try it a little but try it more often.
5. Variety and experimentation.  A lot of X’s have different varieties, types etc. make sure you try the different types to get the one that suits you. i.e. wines, cheeses, olives all have many different types, find you best fit.  Make sure you experiment with, as this can play a major part in whether you will enjoy something:

• Surroundings
• Comfort levels
• Times of day
• Moods
• Social settings
• Present with friends etc.

For example: I love a beer when I am sitting on the couch, relaxing watching sport, or in the company of friends, but can’t say that I like it first thing in the morning, or directly after working out. If I only tried beer for the first time during these later situations, then chances are I am not going to enjoy beer.

Some extra tips

1. If your struggling to like something, try pretending or acting as if you already do and have the same responses and feelings that other lovers would. This will help your mind produce the desired taste.

2. Remember it will always take time. You won’t love wine tomorrow (if you do make sure you let us know in the comments below), but you will eventually.

Some things we might consider Acquiring a taste for

So just in case you can’t think of something that you would like to acquire a taste for below are some starting points:

• Spirits: whiskey, bourbon, tequila, cocktails, cognac etc.
• Beer – different varieties
• Health foods: avocados, mushrooms, eggplant etc.
• Olives
• Cheese
• Wine: white or red
• Music: Jazz, classical, rock, alternative, punk, blues and roots etc.
• Theater
• Art
• Fashions
• Foreign cultures
• Anything else that you don’t like and want to : only limited by your imagination.

For your reference/amusement the next two on my list are Olives and Scotch. I will be keeping notes, and report back here in another post to let you know how I go with it.

Take Action

1. If you feel as though you want to acquire a taste for something new, follow the 5 step process
2. Report back here of any success’s or learning’s that you have whilst trying

What do you think? Are there particular things that you would like to acquire a taste for? How will you (or do you) go about doing it?

Be different!

I once read a quote that said:

“The definition of insane: doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result”

Would you agree that the stylish, influential and  powerful men you know are different to your average Joe?

They usually got that way, not because they do what everyone else does, but because they do things differently, or even the opposite of what everyone else does.

Within this post I will concentrate on one important thing that we should all work on:

Don’t Wait in Lines!

If you, or someone else, is standing in a long nightclub line and a couple well dressed people walk straight up to the bouncer and got straight in, you would think to yourself “they must be powerful, famous or important” I know as I have seen that happen and thought that on quite a few occasions.

Sometimes we don’t have a choice with something such as a night club (although a bit later I will be showing a process to be able to get straight in to any club, restaurant or pub straight away) but why do we stand in lines of other things that we do have a direct choice about?

Now, I try wherever I can NOT to stand in line and “follow the HERD”, things such as:

-          Supermarket lines – don’t shop the hours when everyone else does

-          Gyms – don’t go to the gym at peak times, this is also frustrating when you can’t get on the equipment that you want to

-          Restaurants – eat unusually early (when they first open for dinner) or unusually late (just before close), or simply when you are hungry, I am not sure who the person was that specified the times that we should eat 3 meals a day any way, but that’s discussion for another time.

-          Driving – If possible avoid driving or commuting in peak hour traffic. Ask your boss to telecommute. I know this example is not always possible for people. However, read the four hour work week if you feel like it is something you would like to pursue and need some inspiration

-          Even Vacations - I travel during non peak times of the year, because during either summer, Christmas break etc. Everyone has the same idea of traveling. Not only is it usually twice as expensive, but there is too many people around also.

It is very liberating and makes you feel pretty powerful to be able to do the opposite of what everyone else does. It will also save you time, which can be put into to other passions etc. to make the most out of your life.

Take Action

1.      Try not to “follow the herd” and do what everyone else does. Have confidence in yourself and your decisions to do the opposite. trust me it will pay off, it simplifies your tasks and is very empowering

2.      Write a list of the things that you do in your everyday life that you could do differently or at different times to avoid waiting. Then do them at different times, once you do you will never go back.

What do you think? Do you have anything else in your life that you “don’t wait in lines for” or “do the opposite of everyone else”? I would love to hear them and also apply them myself.

I recently done a guest post on www.36pounds.com about style and the thin man. If you are a thin man I would suggest you check it out as it has some great info on there.

Keep the conversation going for hours!

I’m sure it has happened to all of us! You are talking to someone new that you have just met and after the usual “what do you do?” and “Where do you live?’ the conversation completely dry’s up and you both are stuck there with an awful silence.

Well not any more…

The Quest for knowledge

Personally I think the best way to usually keep a conversation going at any time is to want to learn new things.

Did you know that EVERY question you ask someone you are actually learning something new. Even simple questions like “where did you buy that from?”, “What’s the weather going to be on the weekend?” you are extending your knowledge and hence learning.

If you want to learn new things then you are going to be generally interested in other peoples lives and the topics that they are experts (or know more than you) in.

Sometimes it may just be probing with a few extra questions to find this.

Easy Buttons

If, however, you still can not find something of mutual passion and conversation here are some easy techniques that once applied, can keep a conversation going for quite some time.

1. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

Repeat the other persons last sentence – This is my favourite, simply for the fact that it requires no creative input from yourself.

Basically the idea is that when you are talking to another person you repeat the last thing that anyone said as a question. This technique is also known as “parroting”.

The core idea behind it is that people love to extend their conversation on the things that they are interested in. And by you repeating what they have already said, gives them fuel for their “self interest” fire.

An Example:

You: ” what did you get up to on the weekend”

Them: ” Went to the ball game on Saturday”

You: ” You went to the game on Saturday?”

Them: Yeh we did, took my son along for his first game etc. etc…..But it was good to see my team win!”

You: “So it was good to see the team win?”

Them: “Yeh they have been struggling a lot lately, and had lots of injuries etc. etc….” – I’m sure you get the picture.

Think how long you could keep a conversation using this going. I have experimented with this on many occasions, and it always works, which is why I love it.

2. Become a word spy

You can generally tell a lot by the language that someone uses. I know of people (myself included) who listen to things such as podcasts, audio books etc. and can tell the way people think just through the language that they use.

For example analytical thinkers will use words such as test, quantify, numbers, figures, add up, results etc.

This can come in handy, if you have a mentor that you want to be like – simply start implementing some of the words that they use (and that you don’t yet) into your daily life and you will start to program your subconscious mind into thinking in similar ways.

That was slightly off of this topic, but the way it can help us keep a conversation is to listen to some of the words they say/use etc. and hone in on them to use as the next question you ask or topic you talk about.

Example: Most of you would have at onetime experienced talking to someone who just seem to be quite rude when trying to make small talk. I little while ago I was trying to spark up conversation with someone that fits that exact description, trying to mention anything I could to spark it:

Me: “so been busy today?”

Him “yes” (one word answer)

Etc.

Me: “How’s the weather today pretty wet isn’t it?”

Him: “Yes, but the farmers will stop complaining” (again in the rude voice)

It was right there, that a lot of people would continue asking more boring questions. However, I honed in on the fact that he mentioned the one word – farmer in his talking.

Me: “do you know some farmers do you?”

Him:” Yes, I actually grew up on a farm” (his tone of voice gradually starting to change)

Me: “So did I…where was you farm etc.”

And from here the conversation went on for quite some time.

So to refresh: people, when discussing all sorts of things, drop single words about their “passions” and/or “interest” all the time. The key is to be on the lookout for such words and use them to fuel the conversation when it is slowing down or even come to a complete halt.

3. Eaves drop

This little technique is quite self explanatory.

Basically, this comes in handy when you want to introduce yourself to someone new, be it a big businessman in the same field as you, someone famous you want to meet, or even a cute girl that’s been sitting in the group next to you all night.

As the title suggests just keep an ear out for what they are talking about with their friends or the other people in their group to get a gauge of what the “target” person is interested in.

When you find some bait that you can work with, it is time to go over and talk to them yourself. For example If you overhear them talking about travelling to Paris. You could head over to them and say:

“I couldn’t help but overhear you were going to head to Paris later in the summer, I am actually a big fan of the city and have been there several times myself” This will give you more than enough fuel to kick start and also keep the conversation going strong.

Social Intelligence

Social intelligence is a very big thing for us as men to get right. Techniques such as the above all come under the social intelligence umbrella.

It helps us with our charm, charisma, social proof and influence which boost our presence and overall image.

As I’ve talked about in previous posts, the above mentioned are very important to creating an overall and lasting style that will have YOU being the one man everyone else wants to be with and know

Take Action

1. Pick one of the above techniques that you think will apply best to you and your situation
2. The next time you are at a party, business function, networking event or anywhere where you need to try this technique and watch your conversation go on for a lot longer than it perhaps would have.

What do you think? If you give these a try in your next social interaction please report back to the comments page and let us all know how you went? Have you got any other techniques for keeping a conversation going that you use regularly?

Time to boost your image and presence!

Ever wondered why famous people are almost ALWAYS considered to be stylish and hold a presence within a room?

Is it because they always wear the right thing? Is it because they are good looking? Is it because they always say the right thing at the right time?

These are certainly the case some of the time, but by no means all the time.

The simple reason is that the majority of people know them, it elevates their status in the room, which means the remainder of people want to get to know them… or Social Proof.

Social Proof

Social Proof is a concept that is usually used a lot in marketing and sales industries, however, I think it is a powerful concept, which can help the average man out incredibly.

If you would like to read more about it see go here .

I will only be talking about one specific aspect of it and how it can help you, so let me begin with an example:

If you’re at a party, and there is someone powerful, famous, or important (call them person A). Isn’t it usually the case that most people know his/her name and who they are? Hence making an effort to go and talk to them?

Now let’s say there is someone that no one knows (call them person B), that has been hanging out with person A all night.

Isn’t person B’s social status and importance elevated by everyone in room just through the mere fact that person A knows person B? – Power through association.

Basically:

“It’s not who you know, It is who knows you”

A phrase that is very popular in networking circles, books and references also.

So, how do we get more people to know us?

There is not a quick formula that I have discovered yet (short of getting yourself famous overnight although I am still working on it J), but there is something you can start now, so as soon as possible more and more people will know who you are.

Simply:

introduce yourself and talk to everyone and anyone that you deal with or want to deal with on a regular basis.

It’s that simple, but I can’t get over how many people run through their lives doing their usual things without even acknowledging other human beings in the process.

An example might put this in perspective:

If you have a coffee shop or restaurant that you do or plan to frequently visit. The first visit you just make friendly chat.

After say 2 or 3 visits introduce yourself.

I.e. [following general chat] “my name is Schmidty anyway”, and either 1. Offer to shake hand (they will then introduce themselves)or 2. Say “what’s yours?”

Now every subsequent time you visit, make sure you use their name. If they remember yours they will use it. If not, they will be a bit embarrassed, but you can just slip your name in to the general conversation however you see fit. Remember it’s important for them to know you.

You have now built up a relationship. And besides from you getting free stuff (which is another fringe benefit) from them from time to time, can you imagine how impressed your friends, boss or business clients will be when you take them in there and you are on a first name basis with the manager/owner?

Really powerful. Just imagine how powerful it will be the more and more places it happens at, and eventually every place you visit frequently.

The snowball effect

The beauty about this, is the more and more you do this the more your network and the people that know you will snowball. Soon you will be out at a bar on a Saturday night and be sure to bump into 1 or 2 or even more people that you met at the coffee shop, restaurant or that other party you went to last week.

Imagine how impressed that girl your trying to pick up will be when you know (and have a chat to) so many people from different groups in the bar. She is certain to think that you are important because everyone knows you.

Social proof working completely in your favour.

Take Action

Next time you visit any place you plan on visiting regularly follow the script above and:

1.      Be nice

2.      Make general chat

3.      Introduce yourself as soon as you feel comfortable, but never longer than the 3^rd visit otherwise it becomes too late and a bit awkward.

4.      Remember the more people that know you – the more powerful you are.

What do you think? Once you have taken the action above, please let me know of any success’s, failures or results you have.