Suburban Oblivion

I Didn’t Get a Raise Because I Forgot to Douche

SaraJ — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 14:14:26 +0000

When considering asking my boss for a raise, I’m not sure ‘remember to douche’ would be at the top of the to-do list. Or in the top 5. Or even the top 100.

Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters

Sara O'Flaherty — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 22:05:28 +0000

I’m not sure who would enjoy these more, Paul or the kids! The question does however remain…Where are the pirate cookie cutters??

It’s Sad How Much I am Looking Forward to Seeing This…

Sara O'Flaherty — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 18:43:06 +0000

I’m not usually a huge fan of the ‘Scary Movie’ genre, but this one looks hilarious! (And yes, I’m a fucking Twilight fan. Deal with it.)

#Paul&Sara 's Hilarious Twitter Wedding (Video)

SaraJ — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 13:57:44 +0000

When we decided to stream our wedding online, we knew there was a good chance the video quality would not be great. The plan was to stream it the best we could on that day, and post the higher-quality video shortly afterward. For those that missed the stream, or just couldn’t get a great connection, here is the ceremony in it’s entirety along with the transcript.

Good afternoon. Sara and Paul would like to thank everyone for joining them here on this beautiful day to share in their celebration and welcome you no matter where you come from, whether you’re here with us in Bienville Square, or joining us online.

Connections between people are a powerful thing, and the connections that people forge via the Internet can be the spark that creates lasting and wonderful real-life relationships. Most of you here know each other because of the Internet, and there can be no greater testament to those connections than the occasion we are here to witness today- the joining of two people who have weathered two years of trial and distance in order to be together. Two people who have literally changed their worlds, and could not have done it without the support of their friends, and the wonders of modern technology.

Some would call them insane, others might call them crazy. (Some have called them far worse, and if I wasn’t getting paid for this, I probably would too…) Whatever you call it, their stubborn natures, along with the internet, have been the force behind their pulling off this Lifehack of epic proportions.

Paul would you take Sara’s hand and repeat after me…

·       I Paul take you Sara to be my wife,
·       my lover and my best friend always.
·       To love you, to follow you,
·       to stumble and to retweet,
·       to share, support and encourage
·       even when your ego rivals my own.
·       To fix your computers and maintain your blog
·       until such time as my hard drive permanently gives up the ghost.
·       I promise to always be faithful to you
·        and help you achieve your goals
·       and that which makes you happy in life
·       and to make your dreams my own.
·       I promise to share my gadgets and hosting
·       in the same way I share my body and heart
·       and to be beside you online and off,
·       to infinty and beyond.

Sara, would you repeat after me…

·       I Sara take you Paul to be my husband,
·       my lover, and my best friend always.
·       To follow you, friend you,
·       and always comment on your blog posts, even when I don’t agree with them.
·       To pretend to listen when you rant,
·       to wear lingerie when you· ask,
·       and to not complain when you play Call of Duty with your friends.
·       I promise to put nothing else before you,
·        and to always ensure you are at the top of my contacts.
·       I promise to love you, to be faithful to you,
·       and to be your muse and your partner in all things, online and off,
·       to infinity and beyond.

Paul, take Sara’s ring and place it on her finger and repeat after me:

·       Just as this circle is without end,
·       my love for you is never-ending.
·       With this ring, I take you to be my partner for life.

Sara, take Paul’s ring and place it on his finger and repeat after me:

·       Just as this circle is without end,
·       my love for you is never-ending.
·       With this ring, I take you to be my partner for life.

(Handfasting)

Know now that since your lives have crossed, you have formed ties between each other. The promises you make today and the ties that are bound here will cross the years and will greatly strengthen your union. With full awareness, know that you declare your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family. Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?

Bride & Groom: We do.
I bid you look into each others eyes.

“Will you share yourselves freely and generously with each other, making time to be together?”
“We will.”
“The first binding is thus made with dark blue, symbolic of Water, that your love may flow and fill you to your depths.” [The dark blue cord is draped over the couple's hands.]
“Will you each seek to ease the other’s pain and suffering, sharing laughter and joy?”
“We will.”
“The second binding is thus made with green, symbolic of Earth, that your love may be wise and nurturing, and your happiness abundant.” [The green cord is draped over the couple's hands.]
“Will you strive to keep your romance alive through daily actions and words of encouragement?”
“We will.”
“The third binding is thus made with red, symbolic of Fire, that your love may be bright and passionate.” [The red cord is draped over the couple's hands.]
“Will you both help each other to grow in spirit and wisdom?”
“We will.”
“The fourth binding is thus made with light blue, symbolic of Air, that your love may be as limitless as the sky, and filled with spirit.” [The light blue cord is draped over the couple's hands. All four cords are tied together.]
“You are now bound together, your two lives joined by love and trust into one life.”
The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords, but rather by your vows. For as always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.

Inasmuch as you have sealed your vows in the presence of those gathered here and online, by the giving of rings and have consented together to live in marriage, it gives me much pleasure to pronounce that you are now Husband and Wife.
You sir have just signed your life away, you may now kiss your bride.

Did I Toss the Sex Toy? Why Yes I Did! (And Who Won One Too!)

SaraJ — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 03:01:28 +0000

I caught a little flack for suggesting I would be tossing a sex toy at my wedding instead of the bouquet. Weddings are ‘supposed to be’ about tradition, in spite of the fact that Paul and I are anything but traditional. We knew all along this wedding would be done our way, and we didn’t let any criticism sway us from that.

On Saturday night as the reception was just getting into full swing, we took the oh-so-tastefully-wrapped (Star Wars wrapping paper ya know!) Triple Indulgence Rabbit Vibrator so thoughtfully provided by Eden Fantasys and had the girls gather ’round.

Such pretty, sweet ladies…

And I tossed it….

We have amazing video footage of this that I will get up later in the week, but needless to say those sweet southern ladies were more than willing to do what needed to be done to get their hands on that toy. (Hope may or may not be biting Heather’s wrist in that picture, I’ll leave it to you to figure out. She did get it though!!) It. was. hilarious.

I wish we could have found a way to make the online giveaway half as exciting, but the internet only gets you so far. Still, we had a lot of fun reading the advice people left on how to have a happy marriage. ‘Lots of sex’ seemed to be the most obvious and repeated answer, although frequency was up for debate (everything from every opportunity to once a month! Just once a month, really??).

While it’s not the most practical, my choice of winner came from Shonda Peterson simply because it made me laugh the loudest-

I will give you the advice my mom gave me, if he ever gives you problems, just tie him up with bed sheets and beat him with a broom.

If there’s anything Paul and I enjoy, it’s a good laugh together. That friendship and laughter is a huge part of the foundation for our relationship, and Shonda hit the nail on the head with her reminder.

Thanks so much to everyone who participated and gave us their words of wisdom, and thanks so much to Eden Fantasys for giving us the means to create a wedding memory NO ONE will forget!

Our Wedding Livestream #Paul&Sara

SaraJ — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 20:25:56 +0000

Paul and I are getting married at 4pm CST (10pm GMT) and we’d like you all to be a part of it. You can join in the celebration by following the livestream here and follow along on Twitter using the#Paul&Sara hashtag.

Pic From the Pre-Wedding #MobileALTweetup

SaraJ — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 04:05:15 +0000

Great pic from the dinner tonight, courtesy of @wigenout .

A Sex Toy Giveaway..For My Wedding?? Why Not!

SaraJ — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 03:59:16 +0000

When Paul and I started talking about our wedding, we knew it was going to be utterly different from the norm. No tux (he’s wearing a kilt), no big white, poofy satin confection of a gown (I look far better in purple than in white), no three-tiered white cake, no caterer.

In short, we are having none of the usual trappings of the Wedding Industrial Complex as we know it. We wanted this to be about friendship, community, and most of all, FUN.

In all of this I found myself questioning everything that is normally done at weddings, just because ‘everyone does it’. At most weddings, the bride tosses her bouquet to the single women there who have often been pushed out by well-meaning relatives in hopes she will catch the bouquet, signaling that she will be the next one to walk down the isle.

I can’t think of anything more fun than putting single people on the spot at an event that already makes them overly-conscious of being unmarried, and making sure it is pointed out publicly how single they are.

This was one of those traditions that I loathed in concept, but is so ingrained in our culture that I couldn’t imagine not doing it. Then it dawned on me- why not just take the damned tradition and turn it on it’s ear? It’s not like we are doing anything else by the book!

My first thought was that this is a celebration, and I want everyone included, married or single. So I *could* toss the bouquet and have everyone down there, but who’s going to want it?

And if not the bouquet, what could I throw that everyone *would* want? What could I include that every woman there, married or single would find appealing.

To me, sex toys seemed the obvious answer. Who doesn’t love an orgasm?

I shot off an email to Eden Fantasys who got back that they loved the idea, and would not only provide the bouquet alternative for my lucky wedding guest, but would provide one for a blog give-away as well!

So my friends, online and off, I am looking to spread a little happiness for my big day.

Happiness in this case will come in the form of a discretely wrapped(Star Wars wrapping paper FTW!) Triple Indulgence Rabbit Vibrator. From Eden Fantasys website-

The Triple Indulgence is a waterproof delight. With separate controls for vibration and rotation, you can customize your experience to orgasm, whether in or out of the water.

Want to give it a spin for yourself? Locals will have their chance to catch it at the wedding, but our online friends will be able to win one without giving up a Saturday afternoon. Just leave a comment below with your advice for a long and happy marriage, and my favorite words of wisdom will be chosen Tuesday, June 22nd. Tweeting out the post gets you an extra chance!

Looking forward to the responses, and sharing a little joy as my own happy day approaches!

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 27 comments |
Post tags: contest, eden fantasys, sex toy, vibrator, wedding

Its a Twitter Wedding, And You Are Invited!

SaraJ — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 21:53:53 +0000

When Paul and I first met online, we clashed over a blog post. We had no idea that one disagreement would rock our worlds and change our lives so dramatically. Disagreement led to friendship, which led to something neither of us had ever felt before, and we knew we’d found something that despite circumstance and 4,000 miles of distance, couldn’t be denied. We pushed ahead, often precariously, in a relationship that friends called both inspiring, and absolutely nuts. We fought often, breaking up and making up with equal intensity, and exhausting ourselves and our loved ones in the process. We drove each other crazy, but we loved each other too much to be apart.

Now, after two long, wonderful, heart-wrenching, how-the-hell-did-we-ever-survive-it years of Skype calls and teary airport goodbyes, we are finally getting married.

In just one week, we will be exchanging our vows in the only way we could imagine- completely, totally, uniquely…us. He’s Irish. I’m American. We share an offbeat sense of fun, and an often-offensive humor website. We got engaged at a Tweetup. We have proven we will go to hell and back to live life on our own terms. How do two people like this plan a wedding?

A purple dress. A kilt. A best man who is *all* woman. Live-streaming and live-tweeting. A Twitter-themed-pot-luck-pool-party-reception. Rock Band. A pinata. A sex toy toss in place of the bouquet.

It’s going to be one hell of a party, and we want you to join us! Tune in here on Suburban Oblivion next Saturday at 4pm Central time to catch the whole event live, as it happens.

For better or worse, we are finally making it happen.

Update- Looks like the media is starting to take notice of our rather offbeat plans!

CNET covers the story-

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-20008071-71.html

ReadWriteWeb’s take..
http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/whats_a_twitter_wedding_funny_you_should_ask.php

The Blog Herald..
http://www.blogherald.com/2010/06/14/twitter-weding/

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 37 comments |
Post tags: engagement, marriage, Online, twitter, wedding

PR Pitch Tactic Reaches New Low

SaraJ — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 23:57:38 +0000

As a blogger I’ve been dealing with PR reps for a good few years.

Some of them have been really great- the ones who pay attention, get your name right, and are generally polite without being pushy are a blast to work with. There have been a couple who left the companies they worked for that I was actually sad to see them go.

The bad ones- the ones who call you by the wrong name (or just the name of your blog), don’t bother looking to see what your blog is about, or are just plain rude I generally send straight to the circular file. No harm, no foul. A bad pitch is generally to be ignored.

Today I saw a new level of low from a PR rep that just bordered on slimy, to the point of pissing me off.

No secret Paul and I have our pet project, Daily Shite, which we run together. He handles the technical stuff, I deal with our authors, and we handle all content submissions together. No decision is made by either one of us, we do it all together. The site lists us as co-owners, and I like to think we truly are a team in all aspects of things.

So when two people are a team, why exactly would a PR rep feel the need to skip the website’s quite prominent contact form, and instead go to the personal website of the male half of that team, and send him a pitch email to his personal email address, suggesting a certain video might appeal to the Daily Shite audience?

Might it have something to do with the fact that the content of that video was 2 half naked cheerleaders trying to get out of a speeding ticket by doing things like rubbing brownies all over their boobs?

The thought process seems quite obvious here- male and female jointly own site, track down male and try to circumvent female and hope male is dumb enough/blinded by boobs to try to talk female into running content that is clearly out of line with what is usually posted on said site.

I know boys can be a little on the slow side, but really? I wouldn’t be marrying the man if he were so dumb that a pair of tits made him lose all coherent thought to the point of suggesting we run something that violates our site policies. (On the contrary, I happen to think he’s quite brilliant.)

PR people have a hard job as it is, and this sort of slimeball shit does not help the reputation of an industry that is still trying to find it’s feet with bloggers and new media.

I’m glad most reps are not this sleazy, and I sincerely hope LBK Global learns a little something from their mistake, because they have just earned a place on the PR wall of shame.