Good afternoon. Sara and Paul would like to thank everyone for joining them here on this beautiful day to share in their celebration and welcome you no matter where you come from, whether you’re here with us in Bienville Square, or joining us online.

Connections between people are a powerful thing, and the connections that people forge via the Internet can be the spark that creates lasting and wonderful real-life relationships. Most of you here know each other because of the Internet, and there can be no greater testament to those connections than the occasion we are here to witness today- the joining of two people who have weathered two years of trial and distance in order to be together. Two people who have literally changed their worlds, and could not have done it without the support of their friends, and the wonders of modern technology.

Some would call them insane, others might call them crazy. (Some have called them far worse, and if I wasn’t getting paid for this, I probably would too…) Whatever you call it, their stubborn natures, along with the internet, have been the force behind their pulling off this Lifehack of epic proportions.

Paul would you take Sara’s hand and repeat after me…

·       I Paul take you Sara to be my wife,
·       my lover and my best friend always.
·       To love you, to follow you,
·       to stumble and to retweet,
·       to share, support and encourage
·       even when your ego rivals my own.
·       To fix your computers and maintain your blog
·       until such time as my hard drive permanently gives up the ghost.
·       I promise to always be faithful to you
·        and help you achieve your goals
·       and that which makes you happy in life
·       and to make your dreams my own.
·       I promise to share my gadgets and hosting
·       in the same way I share my body and heart
·       and to be beside you online and off,
·       to infinty and beyond.

Sara, would you repeat after me…

·       I Sara take you Paul to be my husband,
·       my lover, and my best friend always.
·       To follow you, friend you,
·       and always comment on your blog posts, even when I don’t agree with them.
·       To pretend to listen when you rant,
·       to wear lingerie when you· ask,
·       and to not complain when you play Call of Duty with your friends.
·       I promise to put nothing else before you,
·        and to always ensure you are at the top of my contacts.
·       I promise to love you, to be faithful to you,
·       and to be your muse and your partner in all things, online and off,
·       to infinity and beyond.

Paul, take Sara’s ring and place it on her finger and repeat after me:

·       Just as this circle is without end,
·       my love for you is never-ending.
·       With this ring, I take you to be my partner for life.

Sara, take Paul’s ring and place it on his finger and repeat after me:

·       Just as this circle is without end,
·       my love for you is never-ending.
·       With this ring, I take you to be my partner for life.

(Handfasting)

Know now that since your lives have crossed, you have formed ties between each other. The promises you make today and the ties that are bound here will cross the years and will greatly strengthen your union. With full awareness, know that you declare your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family. Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?

Bride & Groom: We do.
I bid you look into each others eyes.

“Will you share yourselves freely and generously with each other, making time to be together?”
“We will.”
“The first binding is thus made with dark blue, symbolic of Water, that your love may flow and fill you to your depths.” [The dark blue cord is draped over the couple's hands.]
“Will you each seek to ease the other’s pain and suffering, sharing laughter and joy?”
“We will.”
“The second binding is thus made with green, symbolic of Earth, that your love may be wise and nurturing, and your happiness abundant.” [The green cord is draped over the couple's hands.]
“Will you strive to keep your romance alive through daily actions and words of encouragement?”
“We will.”
“The third binding is thus made with red, symbolic of Fire, that your love may be bright and passionate.” [The red cord is draped over the couple's hands.]
“Will you both help each other to grow in spirit and wisdom?”
“We will.”
“The fourth binding is thus made with light blue, symbolic of Air, that your love may be as limitless as the sky, and filled with spirit.” [The light blue cord is draped over the couple's hands. All four cords are tied together.]
“You are now bound together, your two lives joined by love and trust into one life.”
The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords, but rather by your vows. For as always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.

Inasmuch as you have sealed your vows in the presence of those gathered here and online, by the giving of rings and have consented together to live in marriage, it gives me much pleasure to pronounce that you are now Husband and Wife.
You sir have just signed your life away, you may now kiss your bride.

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 7 comments |
Post tags: streaming, twitter, video, wedding

On Saturday night as the reception was just getting into full swing, we took the oh-so-tastefully-wrapped (Star Wars wrapping paper ya know!) Triple Indulgence Rabbit Vibrator so thoughtfully provided by Eden Fantasys and had the girls gather ’round.

Such pretty, sweet ladies…

And I tossed it….

We have amazing video footage of this that I will get up later in the week, but needless to say those sweet southern ladies were more than willing to do what needed to be done to get their hands on that toy. (Hope may or may not be biting Heather’s wrist in that picture, I’ll leave it to you to figure out. She did get it though!!) It. was. hilarious.

I wish we could have found a way to make the online giveaway half as exciting, but the internet only gets you so far. Still, we had a lot of fun reading the advice people left on how to have a happy marriage. ‘Lots of sex’ seemed to be the most obvious and repeated answer, although frequency was up for debate (everything from every opportunity to once a month! Just once a month, really??).

While it’s not the most practical, my choice of winner came from Shonda Peterson simply because it made me laugh the loudest-

I will give you the advice my mom gave me, if he ever gives you problems, just tie him up with bed sheets and beat him with a broom.

If there’s anything Paul and I enjoy, it’s a good laugh together. That friendship and laughter is a huge part of the foundation for our relationship, and Shonda hit the nail on the head with her reminder.

Thanks so much to everyone who participated and gave us their words of wisdom, and thanks so much to Eden Fantasys for giving us the means to create a wedding memory NO ONE will forget!

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 6 comments |
Post tags: eden fantasys, giveaway, sex toys, wedding

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 11 comments |
Post tags: Livestream, Paul, wedding

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 3 comments |
Post tags: dinner, Tweetup, twitter, wedding

In short, we are having none of the usual trappings of the Wedding Industrial Complex as we know it. We wanted this to be about friendship, community, and most of all, FUN.

In all of this I found myself questioning everything that is normally done at weddings, just because ‘everyone does it’. At most weddings, the bride tosses her bouquet to the single women there who have often been pushed out by well-meaning relatives in hopes she will catch the bouquet, signaling that she will be the next one to walk down the isle.

I can’t think of anything more fun than putting single people on the spot at an event that already makes them overly-conscious of being unmarried, and making sure it is pointed out publicly how single they are.

This was one of those traditions that I loathed in concept, but is so ingrained in our culture that I couldn’t imagine not doing it. Then it dawned on me- why not just take the damned tradition and turn it on it’s ear? It’s not like we are doing anything else by the book!

My first thought was that this is a celebration, and I want everyone included, married or single. So I *could* toss the bouquet and have everyone down there, but who’s going to want it?

And if not the bouquet, what could I throw that everyone *would* want? What could I include that every woman there, married or single would find appealing.

To me, sex toys seemed the obvious answer. Who doesn’t love an orgasm?

I shot off an email to Eden Fantasys who got back that they loved the idea, and would not only provide the bouquet alternative for my lucky wedding guest, but would provide one for a blog give-away as well!

So my friends, online and off, I am looking to spread a little happiness for my big day.

Happiness in this case will come in the form of a discretely wrapped(Star Wars wrapping paper FTW!) Triple Indulgence Rabbit Vibrator. From Eden Fantasys website-

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 27 comments |
Post tags: contest, eden fantasys, sex toy, vibrator, wedding

Now, after two long, wonderful, heart-wrenching, how-the-hell-did-we-ever-survive-it years of Skype calls and teary airport goodbyes, we are finally getting married.

In just one week, we will be exchanging our vows in the only way we could imagine- completely, totally, uniquely…us. He’s Irish. I’m American. We share an offbeat sense of fun, and an often-offensive humor website. We got engaged at a Tweetup. We have proven we will go to hell and back to live life on our own terms. How do two people like this plan a wedding?

A purple dress. A kilt. A best man who is *all* woman. Live-streaming and live-tweeting. A Twitter-themed-pot-luck-pool-party-reception. Rock Band. A pinata. A sex toy toss in place of the bouquet.

It’s going to be one hell of a party, and we want you to join us! Tune in here on Suburban Oblivion next Saturday at 4pm Central time to catch the whole event live, as it happens.

For better or worse, we are finally making it happen.

Update- Looks like the media is starting to take notice of our rather offbeat plans!

CNET covers the story-

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-20008071-71.html

ReadWriteWeb’s take..
http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/whats_a_twitter_wedding_funny_you_should_ask.php

The Blog Herald..
http://www.blogherald.com/2010/06/14/twitter-weding/

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 37 comments |
Post tags: engagement, marriage, Online, twitter, wedding

Some of them have been really great- the ones who pay attention, get your name right, and are generally polite without being pushy are a blast to work with. There have been a couple who left the companies they worked for that I was actually sad to see them go.

The bad ones- the ones who call you by the wrong name (or just the name of your blog), don’t bother looking to see what your blog is about, or are just plain rude I generally send straight to the circular file. No harm, no foul. A bad pitch is generally to be ignored.

Today I saw a new level of low from a PR rep that just bordered on slimy, to the point of pissing me off.

No secret Paul and I have our pet project, Daily Shite, which we run together. He handles the technical stuff, I deal with our authors, and we handle all content submissions together. No decision is made by either one of us, we do it all together. The site lists us as co-owners, and I like to think we truly are a team in all aspects of things.

So when two people are a team, why exactly would a PR rep feel the need to skip the website’s quite prominent contact form, and instead go to the personal website of the male half of that team, and send him a pitch email to his personal email address, suggesting a certain video might appeal to the Daily Shite audience?

Might it have something to do with the fact that the content of that video was 2 half naked cheerleaders trying to get out of a speeding ticket by doing things like rubbing brownies all over their boobs?

The thought process seems quite obvious here- male and female jointly own site, track down male and try to circumvent female and hope male is dumb enough/blinded by boobs to try to talk female into running content that is clearly out of line with what is usually posted on said site.

I know boys can be a little on the slow side, but really? I wouldn’t be marrying the man if he were so dumb that a pair of tits made him lose all coherent thought to the point of suggesting we run something that violates our site policies. (On the contrary, I happen to think he’s quite brilliant.)

PR people have a hard job as it is, and this sort of slimeball shit does not help the reputation of an industry that is still trying to find it’s feet with bloggers and new media.

I’m glad most reps are not this sleazy, and I sincerely hope LBK Global learns a little something from their mistake, because they have just earned a place on the PR wall of shame.

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 10 comments |
Post tags: daily shite, pitch, PR, websites

When most of my blogging was about my kids, I got a lot of offers for toys, kids dvds and the like. It made sense, because I fit into their demographic. They saw me as The Mommy.

What does it say about me when the offerings of the day are SPAM recipes and a book on menopause?

I feel like I just got the world’s worst fortune cookie- ‘You are old and have crappy taste in food! SPAM for you!’.

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 7 comments |
Post tags: books, pitch, PR, recipes, spam

As with any new campaign, the results can be mixed, depending on how the company chooses to go about it. Some companies such as Jetblue and AT&T actively use their Twitter accounts to promote services, engage with customers, and help trouble-shoot problems. GM and Comcast are also well-known for their customer engagement strategies.

Then there are the companies that don’t get how social media works. Amazon, among many, MANY others make no effort at all to use their account to engage and build a community, instead using it as a news feed for links to random products. The result? One of the largest retailers in the world only has a following of around 16,000 users. They miss the boat for building consumer loyalty among their followers because they choose to ignore the cardinal rule of social media- engagement is everything. Talk *to* your customers instead of *at* them.

Finally you have those that fall into a third group- the Spammers.

Before today, had someone asked me my opinion of Discovery as a company, I’d have cited the quality of their educational materials such as their toys and magazines, the shows I’ve watched on their channels, and the usefulness of their website as an educational resource. Solid company with a lot to offer.

So how does such a smart company do something so damn stupid as to put an absolute idiot in charge of their social media management??

Social media is one part marketing and one part public relations. The face the company puts forward on sites such as Twitter directly impacts customer perception of the brand.

So what image of their company were they trying to convey when Discovery pulled this little stunt today on their Discovery Student Adventures account?

Discovery, let me explain something to you- this is called spamming, and it’s about the worst thing you can possibly do on Twitter. Attempting to get people’s attention in such a generic way with no personal interaction whatsoever? @-Replying people who don’t follow you? Using what is obviously a targeted, pre-packaged list of demographic-based users? Asking for retweets from people who don’t know you? To say that you have breached Twitter etiquette would be a massive understatement.

As a Twitter user I can tell you this sort of behavior is highly annoying, and makes you as a company look very, very bad. In fact the only difference between you are a bunch of cheap porn sites on Twitter right now is that you at least aren’t flashing your tits at me when I go to check my @ replies.

You are, however, looking like really big boobs.

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 9 comments |
Post tags: discovery, facebook, fail, social media, television, twitter

In the meantime, here is a quick way to get your inbox back under control-

Go to your settings page, and select the ‘filters’ tab, then at the bottom select ‘create new filter’.

A box at the top will give you different options of how to filter. In this case you want ‘Subject’ since Google consistently labels the notifications. Put the word ‘Buzz’ in the subject box and click ‘next step’.

Tick the box that says ‘Skip the inbox(archive it)’, and then move down to the box that says ‘apply the label’, and tick that as well. From the dropdown choose ‘create new label’, and name is whatever you want. (‘Buzz’ cannot be used, so I call mine ‘Buzznotes’.)

Click ‘create filter’ and you are done.

What you have essentially just done is made the notifications automatically archive upon arriving in your inbox, so they won’t show up with your regular mail and clutter things up. When you want to read them, just click on your label name in the sidebar, and all notifications will show up, allowing you to read them at your leisure, or mass delete them.

Alternately, if you know you will never read them, follow the same steps as above, only when you reach the 2nd page in the process, tick the box that says ‘delete it’ instead of the archiving and labeling boxes. All future Buzz notifications will then be deleted upon arrival.

It’s not the perfect solution, but this should keep things tidy until Google gets around to giving you adjustable notification settings in the Buzz interface.

© SaraJ for Suburban Oblivion, 2010. | Permalink | 7 comments |
Post tags: buzz, email, Google, inbox, notifications