Which one event does the Qur’an describe as the Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ (peace be upon him) “manifest victory”?

1. The Muslim conquest of the entire Arabian Peninsula, Jerusalem, and beyond
2. The Prophet’s ﷺ re-entry into Mecca and the destruction of the pagan idols in the temple of Abraham¹`alayhi assalaam (peace be upon him)
3. A nonviolent Muslim movement resulting in a peace treaty and compromise with long-time enemies

It may come as a surprise, but the answer is C. True, the Arab Spring showed the world that Muslims can embrace nonviolent resistance to successfully affect change, but this commitment to nonviolence has rarely been described as a religious expression grounded in Islam. Many in the West have thus raised the fear that Islamic-minded movements in the post-revolutionary Arab world—Tunisia’s Ennahda or Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood, for instance—simply used nonviolence as a convenient way to assume power, after which they will turn to force and repression. This fear is overblown, for Muslims can indeed use Islamic religious tradition to firmly ground the principles of nonviolent resistance and faithful compromise with secularists and non-Muslims for the common good. And nothing can do that better, in my opinion, than reviving the legacy of an event in the Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ life that occurred at a barren camp named Hudaybiya—an event Islamic tradition calls a “manifest victory”² .

Before discussing this event, it is worth remembering the legacy of the first thirteen years of Muhammad’s ﷺ prophetic mission in Mecca (610-622 AD)—a period that so powerfully inspired Gandhi’s Afghan counterpart in the independence struggle, Khan Abdul-Ghaffar Khan, and his Khudai Khidmatgar (Servants of God) towards a deeply devout Muslim commitment to nonviolence. “There is nothing surprising in a Muslim or Pathan [Afghan] like me subscribing to the creed of nonviolence…” said Khan, “It was followed fourteen hundred years ago by the Prophet [ﷺ] all the time he was in Mecca.”³

No one can dispute Khan’s assessment. Mecca’s wealthy elite vehemently opposed the Prophet’s ﷺ monotheistic message and unleashed a heavy toll of physical and economic persecution upon Islam’s weakest followers. Nevertheless, Muhammad ﷺ unconditionally forbade retaliation and enjoined a complete and patient commitment to nonviolence. When persecution became intolerable, he and the early Muslims migrated to Medina, where he established a sovereign state in 622 AD. Only then did Islam permit military action. The young Medinan state saw a series of battles with its Meccan enemies—Badr in 624, Uhud in 625, and the unsuccessful siege of Medina in 627⁴ —resulting in increasing Muslim regional influence. Though war brought its political gains, the Prophet ﷺ would soon show that he had never abandoned nonviolent resistance—it would bring forth his greatest victory.

Each year, the far-flung Arabian tribes would converge in Mecca for pilgrimage to the temple of their patriarch Abraham⁵ (peace be upon him). In the spring of 628, seeking to underscore his claim that Abraham was indeed not a polytheist, the Prophet ﷺ did what many would describe as daringly foolish and led 1400 followers into enemy territory, intent on peacefully performing pilgrimage. Bound by an ancient code of nonviolence, the Muslim pilgrims could carry no more than travelers’ swords for self-defense and would have been no match for the Meccan cavalry sent to rout them. Evading the cavalry and encamping within the sacred vicinity of Mecca, the Prophet ﷺ had essentially led his followers into a lion’s den.

Like all nonviolent resistance movements, the Muslims at Hudaybiya were at once incredibly weak and incredibly powerful—“weak” in being unable to match any abject brutality unleashed upon them, but “powerful” in that the public outrage elicited by such brutality would be far too socially costly to the powers in control. Neither the British Raj nor Jim Crow could afford to crack down on nonviolent protesters without earning the world’s condemnation. Likewise, in the sacred context of pilgrimage, the Meccans could not afford to massacre peaceful pilgrims without earning the condemnation of the entire Arabian Peninsula. After a prolonged stalemate, the Prophet ﷺ called the two parties towards a peace treaty.

Peace often requires seemingly difficult compromises. The treaty dictated that Muslims would return to Medina unable to perform pilgrimage until the following year, that anyone would be free to apostate from Islam, and that all male, Muslim refugees were to be returned to their Meccan captors. The Prophet’s ﷺ acceptance of these terms led to considerable dissension among his own followers until a new Qur’anic revelation described the events as a “manifest victory” (48:1)⁶ . Suppressing their personal emotions, the Muslims would have to trust that nonviolent engagement and political compromise were in themselves a victory.

Historians now recount how more people became Muslim in the following years of peace than in all the previous years of Muhammad’s ﷺ prophetic mission. When Mecca’s allies later broke the peace to resume hostilities, the Muslims conquered the city without fighting and completely forgave their former enemies. Although this military accomplishment was a “victory,” the Prophet ﷺ  made sure to remind everyone that Islam’s “manifest victory” had already occurred at Hudaybiya long before⁷) . It was nonviolence, not war, and political compromise, not rigid adherence to dogma, that brought that victory.

But in an age of conflict between “Muslims” and “the West,” it is certain that both Muslim extremists and anti-Islamic polemicists will dispute any Islamic justification for nonviolent resistance. I will just briefly address a few objections from both these groups, who, though nominally opposed to one another, remarkably speak with a single voice.

1) “Hudaybiya was not a true commitment to nonviolence—the Muslims had pledged to defend themselves physically if the Meccans attacked ((Known as the Pledge of the Tree, or Bay’at ash-Shajara.)) .” If the Meccans saw fit to break the sacred code and spill blood, the Muslim pilgrims certainly could not expect Meccan brutality to stop at a beating and a prison sentence. Rather, they expected being massacred. In that context, the Prophet ﷺ and his followers clearly saw fighting back with the little means they had as far more honorable than fleeing from their cause, even if it meant certain death. This commitment, an inspiration to all Muslims engaged in civil disobedience, by no means made their movement any less nonviolent—the Meccans themselves acknowledged such.

2) “Any Islamic justification for nonviolence has been abrogated. From the time hostilities with Mecca resumed, Muslims were bound to perpetual warfare with disbelievers until the end of time.” The Qur’an’s ninth chapter⁸ did enjoin Muslims to fight the Meccans after the treaty of Hudaybiya was broken, but it would be ridiculous to suggest that this would eternally prohibit Muslims from ever again turning to nonviolence or compromise. This very chapter itself calls for continued commitment to peace with polytheists who “neither failed you anywhere nor supported anyone against you” (Qur’an 9:4). And the Prophet ﷺ himself would never forget Hudaybiya’s legacy, for he reminded everyone of this “manifest victory” on his return to Mecca.

3) “Hudaybiya’s true legacy is one of deception; Muhammad [ﷺ] made a treaty when weak only to break it when stronger.” This charge simply does not stand up to historical record. Though the Prophet ﷺ took a dangerous risk in leaving behind Medina’s security, determined nonviolent resistance is never truly “weak.” And while Muslim strength did increase in the following years of peace, history recounts the Prophet’s ﷺ faithful compliance to the treaty, broken by Mecca’s allies. Hindsight is 20/20, but Hudaybiya was declared a “manifest victory” long before the eventual outcomes were known—when all that were apparent were nonviolent action, a failed pilgrimage attempt, and a difficult compromise for the sake of peace.

So what victory should Islamic-minded parties in today’s post-revolutionary Arab world work towards? Some in the Muslim world may aspire to establish societies devoted to God’s “sharia” or well-trodden path, but in focusing on this “end,” they may unfortunately turn to whatever means deemed necessary, however violent or duplicitous. By contrast, Hudaybiya’s legacy should remind all devout Muslims that real victory is achievable through constructive, lawful means. In this particular case, true and lasting victory was achieved through firm adherence to nonviolent resistance and non-dogmatic compromise with opposition. A resulting civil society arising from these principles—one at least able to ensure individual liberties and minority rights—may surprise some people but may be closer in line to the Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ powerful precedent at Hudaybiya—Islam’s one and only “manifest victory.”

1. The Ka`bah
2. Arabic: Fath Mubeen
3. Easwaran, Eknath. Nonviolent Soldier of Islam: Badshah Khan, a Man to Match His Mountains. Petaluma, CA: Nilgiri Press, 1999.
4. Known as the Battle of the Trench, or Khandaq
5. The Hajj
6. The first verse of Sura al-Fath reads Inná fatahná laka fatham mubeená – “We have indeed opened for you a manifest victory.”
7. Abdullah ibn Mughaffal narrates, “I saw the God’s Messenger ﷺ reciting Sura al-Fath (melodiously) on his she-camel on the day of Mecca’s conquest.” (Bukhari
8. The Chapter of Repentance, or Sura at-Tawba

There is a path that I walk on almost every day. It is a curved, narrow strip of concrete between a patch of lush woods and a winding road. In the early morning when it is deserted, it is easy to step on it and get lost in thought. There is the rhythmic monotony of foot touching concrete and the soothing sound of the wind surrendering to the trees.

Deep in thought, I invariably forget about the nasty curse word scrawled into the concrete. The filth of someone’s mind carved into the path forces its ugliness upon anyone who steps near. Its stench pollutes the crisp clarity of the morning and I draw back in disgust. But the word has already formed in my mind and it seems to resound all around me, conjuring images of all the other times I have heard it.

Curse words, profane expletives, and disgusting swear words have become such an integral part of speech today that no one even notices or objects to them anymore. We participate and walk past many such conversations daily. These words that would never be heard in polite conversation a decade ago are spoken brazenly in our mosques, in the schools, and sometimes even in our homes.

The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “The believer is not a slanderer, one who curses frequently, one who indulges in obscenity, or one who engages in foul talk.” (Tirmidhi)

Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) gives us a sneak peek into hellfire and we find the inhabitants of hell cursing and blaming each other for their fate. It was considered “cool” to use dirty language in this life, but in the hereafter those that are receiving a sizzling “warm” welcome from Allah (swt) are found engaging in cussing. Are these the kinds of people we want to emulate in our lives? Is theirs a desirable end? On the other hand, those who turned away in disgust from laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk) in this world will be protected from it in the hereafter. In Paradise there will be scintillating conversations but no sign of indecency or vulgarity in speech.

In our daily lives we cross paths with people of all ages and from all walks of life. Etched into our demeanor, our attitudes, and our conversations are words that we live by and that seep into our conversations almost unconsciously. These could be words of sincere remembrance like masha’allah (what God wills), alhamdulillah (praise be to God) and subhan’allah (glory be to God), or they could be vulgar obscenities. We have the choice of what we speak, but the angels have no choice as they are bound to write down whatever comes out of our lips.

It is said, “Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk.” The opposite seems to be true now. People dress the ‘acceptable’ Islamic way: the hijab is perfectly matched to the tint of their clothing, the thoub (robe for men) is the perfect length, and the kufi (cloth cap for men) is fitted nice and tight. However, the language they use among their peers is foul to say the least. When you find young men with near flawless recitation of the Qur’an walk over from the prayer hall to the basketball court and start to cuss it makes your hair stand on edge. What happened to the concept of haya’ (decency) in this ummah (nation)? Do we not claim to be the followers of the Prophet ﷺ who said, “I was sent to perfect good character”? (Muwatta Imam Malik Book 47, Number 47.1.8)

The Masjid should be on the daily or at least weekly route of the believer. It is a place where we find refuge from the outside world and hope that we can briefly escape the indecency that pervades most of society in general. However, when I visited a remarkably beautiful mosque in another city, I realized that I was deluding myself. I looked around in awe at the breathtaking calligraphy and the poignant perfection of its architecture and felt all holy inside. But the moment was not to last. Scribbled inside a small scratch in the paint was the same curse word that I had found on the path; the filth of someone’s mind polluting even this sacred space.

We have become desensitized to profanity just as we have become desensitized to all the other indecency that surrounds us. We must act now on an individual level as well as among our friends and family to eliminate this repulsive habit. Otherwise, it will seep in through the cracks and profane the moral character of this ummah.

There are many relevant points to be taken from this hadith (record of the words of the Prophet ﷺ) but let’s first start with its grading.

Grading of the Hadith

There has been much discussion about the authenticity of this hadith. It was related by al-Bayhaqi and others. Scholars such as al-Albānī, Ibn ʿAbd al-Barr, Ibn al-Wazīr, and others considered it an acceptable hadith, while others disagreed. Nonetheless, considering the disagreement and the sound meaning of the hadith it is worthy to reflect upon it and draw lessons from it.

Knowledge is Carried by the Upright

The word that is used in Arabic here is the plural of ʿadl. The term essentially indicates that the person should be upright, just, trustworthy, etc. Two lessons can be learned from this: 1) that the people of knowledge should struggle as much as possible to be upright and respectable people; 2) that students and regular Muslims should seek out those whom they trust because of their character when approaching the people of knowledge. Yes, there are people of knowledge who are corrupt, who do not respect the rights of others, and who abuse what they know. They are not the true heirs of the Prophets and excuses should not be made simply because they “know a lot.”

In Every Generation

The second thing to learn from this hadith is that knowledge will be passed down between the generations. A certain level of learning can happen through websites and books but true knowledge is obtained through spending time with the people of knowledge themselves. It is through this action of companionship and studying that knowledge as well as wisdom and etiquette is passed down through the generations. On the other side of this is that knowledge does not disappear through the loss of books but through the death of the righteous scholars. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Knowledge will not be snapped up from the people but rather the scholars will pass away and knowledge will go with them until all that remains amongst the people is ignorant leadership who will answer questions without knowledge. They are misguided and will misguide others.”¹

Three Types of People to Watch Out For

The next thing that is mentioned in the hadith is a miracle to be pondered over. In it the Prophet ﷺ refers to three types of people and their dangers that are repelled by the works and knowledge of the righteous scholars.

The first of these dangers is the distortions of the over-zealous. There are always people who are over-zealous and who in their love for Islam end up making it much harder than it needs to be. If their interpretations were to be accepted in all matters the religion would be taken from its fundamentally easy nature into something too difficult for people to practice. This was also mentioned in another hadith where the Prophet ﷺ said, “Be careful of over-zealousy in the religion. Verily, being over-zealous destroyed the people who came before you.”²

The second danger that he warned of is the forgeries of the fabricators. Just as there are always those who take things too far, there are also those who try to add things to the religion. Sometimes this is done with good intentions and sometimes with bad, but it is always unacceptable. God revealed Islam to us through the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and what he has brought to us is enough. Many of the enemies of Islam realized from a long time ago that they could not be successful in this attempt with the Qur’an because of its place in the hearts and minds of the Muslims. This did not stop them from fabricating hadith though, and throughout the centuries there have been amazing scholars of hadith who have defended the Sunnah (tradition of the Prophet ﷺ) from forgeries and innovations. These scholars were so knowledgeable and gifted that they were able to come up with an entire methodology and various branches of sciences to support it for checking the validity of hadiths. Some scholars even compiled books only containing forged hadiths so that people could read these books and stay away from hadiths that were attributed to the Prophet ﷺ even though he has nothing to do with them.

The third danger is the misinterpretations of the ignorant. In our times these have become very prominent. With the nationalization of the traditional institutes of learning in the Muslim world and the advent of the printing press and mass communication, the central role of the scholars in interpreting Islam has diminished. It is possible for all kinds of people “learned” or not to speak about Islam and come up with new ideas and opinions that have never been discussed before. Granted, at times this can be a good thing, but unfortunately often times it is done by people who are completely unqualified. The result is that often times these arguments look convincing at first glance but for the person who truly studied Islam, their error is obvious.

It is truly amazing that the Prophet ﷺ mentioned these three categories of dangers that the scholars are to protect the religion from. When one looks at them and ponders over the current state of affairs and Islamic history there are themes that repeat themselves over and over again.

We ask God to guide us, grant us knowledge and wisdom, and protect us from falling into these dangers.

1. Muslim #4829
2. Reported by Ahmad, al-Nasāʾi, Ibn Mājah and others. Authentic.

Question:

My question is in regard to age difference in marriage and understanding how realistic it is in the North American context. I am 28 years old and there is a particular brother I am interested in who has incredible character and whom I feel I really click with. The issue is that he is 8 years younger than me and is still finishing his Bachelor’s degree with intentions to do his PhD, so it would be a long time before he would be earning a decent income. Everyone I have spoken to tells me it is an impossible scenario because of his age/lack of ability to support a family. I understand that, but I don’t want to disregard the idea without examining it as I have never met a brother with such impeccable adab (manners); and he is very mature for his age. I know Khadija radi Allahu ‘anha (may God be pleased with her) financially supported the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him), but is this realistic in our current context? I have a steady job with an average income and he comes from a fairly well-off family. I have also considered things like my aging much faster than him, resistance from the families etc., but his character seems to trump all of that for me. Am I considering something unrealistic?

Answer:

You are worried that a large age difference between you and your potential spouse would cause social and financial difficulties. This can be a valid concern for couples who have certain expectations about their standard of living and lack emotional support from family and friends for the marriage.  As you mentioned, the idea of an older woman marrying a younger man is not a new idea and was beautifully modeled by our Prophet ﷺ.  However, Khadija was 40 when she proposed to the 25-year-old Muhammad ﷺ.  Since she was middle aged, she was not only financially established but she was emotionally mature and sophisticated.  Her life experiences positioned her to probably have a strong sense of self as a woman and therefore when seeking to marry, she looked for a partner that had strong character over financial status. Economics continues to play a role in our current context as women attain higher education and the wage gap narrows between men and women. Many seek to find a partner who is compatible with their level of religious practice and personality more so than their financial status. With women becoming financially independent, they are less restricted to considering only older men for marriage who are typically more financially secure and thus the possibility of marrying a younger spouse, who is not financially secure, may become more prevalent.

Despite the Islamic precedence for marriages between older women and younger men, there continues to be a stigma within many Muslim cultures and even Western society which frowns upon these unions.  According to a recent study, researchers found consistently positive attitudes among couples with women 10 years older than their spouse, despite the fear of stigmatization.  The primary concern these couples faced was the aging of the wife.  However, they found that women liked the vitality of their younger husbands and men liked the maturity and confidence of their wives. Therefore, marrying someone younger led to a happy union, but it was dependent on the maturity and intellectual compatibility of the couple as well as the confidence to brave the social stigma.

There are tangible concerns that you will need to consider when marrying a much younger man.  For one, you may encounter generational differences that could impact your beliefs, values, and goals. You will also need to consider your biological clock; when and if you will be able to bear children or if you will consider adoption. You will also need to examine if a power struggle exists in the relationship due to the age difference or if both partners are flexible with their role expectations.  Further, the one drawback researchers have found with women marrying men seven to nine years younger than them was that it increased the woman’s mortality risk by 20 percent. The researchers suggested that the reason for women’s decrease in life expectancy was because women who marry much younger men have increased stress and reduced social support as a result of their choice to step out of societal norms and marry a younger man.

You have a very important decision to make when considering a spouse for marriage. Are the economic and health concerns associated with your decision ones that you are prepared to deal with if you choose to marry a younger man? Are you emotionally mature and confident to withstand the social challenges? Does the compatibility you find in one another reflect strength in your role expectations? Whatever your decision, it is important that the decision-making process be one of mutually open and honest communication between yourself and the man you seek to marry.

References:

Proulx, N.K., Caron, S.L., & Logue, M.E. (2006) Older Women/Younger Men: A look at the implications of age heterogamy in marriage. Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, 5, 43-64.

Max-Planck-Gesellschaft (2010, May 1). Downside of Marriage for Women: The greater a wife’s age gap from her husband, the lower her life expectancy. ScienceDaily. Retrieved February 8, 2012, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2010/05/100512062631.htm

WebbCounselors is a collaborative advice column produced by two WebbAuthors, Amal Killawi, a Clinical Social Worker with a specialization in mental health and marriage education, and Munira Lekovic Ezzeldine, a Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in premarital counseling. Please note that our counselors are not religious scholars and will not issue religious rulings. To read our full disclaimer, please visit our disclaimer page.

Throughout our lives, most of what we do is driven by the thought of consequence. More specifically, the benefits that something might bring about for us or the troubles it might repel. We do whatever we do, with the purpose of seeking some form of goodness in it.

And yet, no matter how much good one has in this world, it cannot come close to the rewards of the Hereafter. What is of this Dunya (world) is, after all, of this Dunya and will deteriorate and wither away. But that which is with Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) will always stay.

While reading Surah Ya-sin, I would often pause upon the verse:

هُمْ وَأَزْوَاجُهُمْ فِي ظِلَالٍ عَلَى الْأَرَائِكِ مُتَّكِئُونَ

“They and their spouses – in shade, reclining on adorned couches.” (Qur’an 36:56)

And I would read, and re-read it to myself thinking what a beautiful reward it is; the eternal bliss of paradise, the company of one’s beloved wife, all without the fear of death, sorrow, detachment, or despair.

That’s something anyone would covet. It was the promise of lasting comfort, tranquility, happiness and love, all expressed beautifully in a single verse. Having known the absence of all these things in this Dunya, what more could one possibly want?
But as I read on, the very next ayah (verse) states:

لَهُمْ فِيهَا فَاكِهَةٌ وَلَهُم مَّا يَدَّعُونَ

“For them therein is fruit, and for them is whatever they request [or wish]” (Qur’an 36:57)

Subhan’Allah  (Glory be to God). While most of us would be perfectly content with the first reward, it implied that there could still be those who wanted something even more. And to them, Allah (swt) had promised that they would find in Jannah (Heaven) all that they pleased, provided they led righteous lives.

Surely there could be no reward greater than this, I thought. There couldn’t possibly be anything more that someone could want, could there? It was only last night, as I was reading the surah (chapter) again, that the answer dawned upon me.

Then, as I read on, I came across the verse:

سَلَامٌ قَوْلًا مِّن رَّبٍّ رَّحِيمٍ

“[And] “Peace,” [Salaam] a Word from a Merciful Lord.” (Qur’an 36:58)

All this while, I had been excited about the prospect of an everlasting paradise, companionship that would last forever, and the fulfillment of my every wish. But I had ignored the fact that beyond the ‘material’ rewards Allah (swt) mentioned earlier lies a higher degree of reward for those who seek it. The reward of getting to meet Allah (swt), knowing He was pleased with you.

Imagine Him seeing you and your sight upon the Face of the One who loved you most. Imagine the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth, extending His greetings to you and personally congratulating you for your success. In this Dunya, our eman has its highs and its lows but imagine a place where you were closest to Allah (swt), and that never changed.

How could any reward ever come close to this?

The recompense described earlier in the surah seems so ‘little’ once this reward comes into sight. It started off with a generous reward for the believers, then went to the next degree promising them anything they wanted, and finally Allah (swt) put something on the table that few would see, but is the most valuable of them all.

Yet, most of the time, we worship Him and perform good deeds because we don’t want to be left behind, because we want to enter Jannah with those who enter it. Similarly, we abstain from many things because we are afraid that we will end up in Jahannam (Hellfire). But perhaps it would do us better to realign our intentions and aim for something even higher; to set our eyes on the Salaam from our Rabb (Lord), the meeting with Him and not just the rewards.

إِن تُعَذِّبْهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ عِبَادُكَ ۖ وَإِن تَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ فَإِنَّكَ أَنتَ الْعَزِيزُ الْحَكِيمُ

“If You should punish them – indeed they are Your servants; but if You forgive them – indeed it is You who is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.” (Qur’an 5:118)

To Him belongs Paradise and His is the Hellfire; He punishes whom He wills and He rewards whom He wills. Even if news reached us that He had decided to forbid us from Paradise and would cast us into Hellfire, it would be our duty to worship Him and Him alone; to be our best and to serve only Him.

Allah (swt), being the Lord, Creator and Sustainer of all that exists, it is His right to be worshipped and it is His right that we, being His servants, strive to please Him in the life that He has ordained for us.

And perhaps, most interestingly,when your purpose becomes to please Allah (swt), when you long for His Love and the meeting with Him, you automatically qualify for all the other rewards.

It all comes down to why you’re doing what you’re doing: Paradise, or pleasing the One who has it all.

Just some food for thought.

May Allah (swt) make us among those whose eyes thirst to see Him, whose hearts long to meet Him and whose only purpose is to please Him.

Ameen.

Any good herein is because of Allah (swt) alone, and it is only the shortcomings that are my own.

My father always said, “You don’t understand the price of freedom.” But I do know and understand the price of being robbed of my right to grow up around grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I know the price of growing up nation-less; the price of having no national identity; the cost of not knowing who I am or where I am from.

I am the daughter of a mother wanted for execution in Syria for simply owning a dream to think freely, and of a father who would not bow to the country’s criminal silence. They escaped in 1980, reunited in Jordan, moved to Iraq, the United States, Canada, then once again back to the United States. They stamped each country with the birth of a child, clinging to their dream of returning to Syria. I was born in Montreal, Canada.

As a child, I was Syrian. But as a teenager, I was lost. In America, I wasn’t American. On my two visits to Syria, I wasn’t Syrian. I couldn’t own pride in a country that stripped my mother and father of the right to live or the right to return. I didn’t understand the fear, the silence, the poverty, or why my grandfather hung a two-foot portrait of the President Hafez Assad right above his television. When my 13-year-old cousin pointed his finger at me and accused his uncle, my father, of being too much of an arrogant doctor in America to even pay a small visit to his family in Syria, I opened my mouth to unleash my rage only to find my grandfather’s strong palm glue itself to my lips.

At 24, after I completed graduate school, still without an identity or nationality to boast, I decided that I would embrace the identity of being an “American,” and accept my Syrian heritage as something that belonged to my parents, something of the past. I slowly erased that image from my memory.

When the revolution in Tunisia dominoed its way to Syria, when peaceful protestors were instantly captured, detained, and had their hearts foam out of their mouths, I didn’t understand why my mother and father were depriving themselves of sleep at night. I was offended that when I flew across the country to visit them over the holidays, they were not emotionally with me as we sipped our nightly tea. They were glued to their computer screen at home, signed into Skype, talking, arranging, organizing, doing anything and everything within their human power to help the people of Syria. They even traveled to Turkey and lived with 8,000 Syrian refugees in Antakya for one month as an in-house doctor and emotional supporter sleeping in their tents and using their overcrowded toilets.

For 10 months, I prayed for the dead, the detained, and the tortured. I followed the news for ten days then abandoned it for twenty. I wanted to put this past behind me. I wanted to convince myself that there was nothing more I could possibly do. But as the symphony of protestors grew louder and stronger—bouncing off high concrete walls over a web of narrow ancient alleys every time a child was sniped, a woman beaten, and a man burned to death only after breaking his back and slicing off his fingers, my heart began to feel alive. I began to see a different purpose to this life. Was it simply to get an education, dine at fancy restaurants, travel, have children, and move into a large home while the blood of others gushes into rivers, or children die of starvation? Where were the Syrians finding the courage to persist? Where had their fear and silence gone? I no longer wanted to continue my perfectly played out movie, or worry about things that really didn’t matter.

My numbness to the image of tortured body after body after body for the past 10 months burst. I finally understood my parents overworking their minds, bodies, and hearts. I understood how they went two days without feeding their stomachs because they had no time to stop. No interest. They had no time to even grow hungry. My parents outran death, literally, when 40,000 others couldn’t. For 26 years they told me and my siblings that this life was only a journey, and the purpose of that journey was to make it to heaven. “Never get too comfortable,” my father said. “Be the last to eat and the first to serve.” Just as my parents began to grow numb to the idea of ever returning to Syria, watching the last flicker of fire fade, a few boys in the village of Daraa relit the match.

I am not the child who was brought to America to have a better life. I am not the Syrian daughter who came because her parents wanted to practice medicine and flourish financially. I am the child of a man who miraculously escaped in the trunk of a Beetle, and helped by a Lebanese priest, fled the country. I am the daughter of a woman who was grabbed by her neighbor seconds before entering into her apartment to warn her that the Syrian Secret Police were inside waiting for her. She watched her two roommates hauled into mukhabarat (Secret Police) vehicles, then thrown into torture cells for nine years. I am the granddaughter of a man shot by the mukhabarat, and later killed. I am the granddaughter of two women whose dying wishes were to see their daughter and their son in Syria, embrace their hands, and hold it against their own face while they ejected their last breath.

That is who I am. Only now am I learning to adopt and combine the qualities that make America so great, and the qualities that charge Syria with spirit. Only now do I realize that my lost identity, split into two countries, symbolize who I am. I know that I am proud to have grown up American and free, to have been educated, to ask questions, seek answers, sleep at night comfortably, proud to have a childhood. I am proud to see the men, women, and even boys and girls fight for freedom, fight for the silence of their parents and grandparents. I am proud to own Syrian blood. I am proud to stand up for truth and speak against injustice, something my parents were able to teach me because we were in America, and something I witnessed my Syrian brothers and sisters die for. I am proud to be Syrian-American and American-Syrian. And in the end, this life is really only a journey; and my journey is to hold my free mind in one hand and courage in the other, and live for something worth living for.

A Short Story

Once in a small town lived a beautiful Muslimah named Aisha. Her beauty was the imaan (faith) in her heart that completed her character. Her hijab was her crown, her excellent manners her garment; Aisha’s gracefulness and compassion were such that they were like diamonds that shimmered inside of her.

Ever since she was a child, Aisha had dreamed of going for Hajj. Even though her family was very poor, it never stopped her from dreaming and hoping that one day she would have the wonderful opportunity to go on this blessed journey.

Once a week, Aisha’s father, Tahir, would give her one dollar to buy her favorite chocolate. He knew how much his beloved daughter loved chocolates. However although Aisha was very fond of them she rarely spent the pocket money she received on such treats. She was always aware of those less fortunate than herself and often times if she found anyone poorer than her family, she would give them her money as charity. The rest, if she had any, she would save to go for Hajj.

Many years passed by and Aisha had saved a good amount of money. In time, she also found herself a job and started to work to help support her family.

One day, Aisha’s neighbor, a widow named Salma, fell ill. Aisha had gone to check on her and found that she had suffered a heart attack. Having rushed her to the hospital Aisha then stayed with Salma as the doctors tended to her. She would then visit her neighbor at the hospital everyday and bring her food; during her visits they would often talk and reflect on stories about Islam, something that gave Salma much comfort. She was very fond of Aisha and her love for her grew deeper from the care Aisha gave her.

After a few days, the doctor, whose name was Rashid, advised Salma to get heart surgery. Salma’s condition was getting worse as each day passed and it was important, he said. Salma however was not able to pay the medical expenses and told Dr. Rashid she did not want to go through surgery.

When Dr. Rashid mentioned this to Aisha, she simply smiled and went to the bank. She took out all the money she had saved for so many years and, without saying a word to Salma, gave it to the doctor with instructions that it was to go towards Salma’s expenses for heart surgery. This was the money that Aisha had been saving her whole life to go to Hajj. Aisha had sacrificed her one and only dream to save her neighbor from dying.

When the doctor found out about this, he immediately called his brother Salman, a very rich and successful businessman who had been looking for a pious woman to marry. Upon seeing the generosity and excellent character of Aisha, Dr. Rashid told his brother to consider her for his wife. Salman agreed and after meeting Aisha and her family, was able to see for himself what a virtuous woman Aisha was. They married soon after Salma’s recovery. Salman later surprised Aisha by taking her on Hajj that same year. Aisha’s joys were higher than the skies! She was very happy and thanked Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) for everything.

Aisha said:

Labbayk Allahumma Labbayk!¹
O Allah I am at Your Service.
With a feeling of peace
In my heart, O Allah!

Here I come,
To Bayt Allah—²
Reciting, repenting, worshipping,
To my Lord I offer Praise!

Facing the Ka`bah,
Doing Tawaf,³
Drinking Zam Zam,⁴
Moving at a pace

With one intention
in my heart—
Just to please You
O Allah, The Only God.

Every step I take,
I remember Your Prophets
Rasul Allah sallallahu `alayhi wa salam⁵
And his Companions

Trying to grasp
how they performed Hajj

Making every moment
Trying to follow the Prophet,
Peace be upon him.

My connection to the world
is completely gone.
I feel I am connected
And close to My Lord.

My tongue makes Dhikr,⁶
My eyes see the Great Ka`bah
My heart repents
My mind makes Du`a’⁷
My body in Salah,⁸
Bowing and Prostrating.

All I can say is Allah!
How beautiful is your House!
How thankful I am!
To witness your Oneness,

Seeking only your reward,
To be a sinless child again,
Asking for Your help,
Your love, and my steadfastness
In the religion of Islam.

Narrated `Aisha radi allahu `anha (may God be pleased with her), the mother of the faithful believers: I said, “O Allah’s Messenger! We consider jihad (struggle in the way of God) as the best deed. Should we not participate in jihad?” The Prophet ﷺ said, “No! The best jihad (for women) is Hajj-Mabrur (an accepted hajj).” [2:595-O.B] Sahih Al Bukhari

1. I am here, O God, I am here
2. the House of God
3. circumambulation, referring to the pilgrim’s revolutions around the Ka`bah
4. water from the well of Zam Zam
5. the Messenger of God, peace be upon him
6. remembrance of God
7. supplication
8. prayer

Our reactions say a lot about us and about our knowledge of and relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). If our best friend does something, because we know them, we know how to read their actions and their dealings with us. Unfortunately, we do not know nearly as much about Allah (swt), even though He is closer to us than our jugular vein, and even though He invites us to call Him by His Names:

“ولله الأسماء الحسنى فادعوهُ بها”

“And to Allah belong the best names, so invoke Him by them.” (Qur’an, 7:180)

How can we call Him by His Names if we do not know them and if we do not understand them? And what is the purpose of Allah (swt) revealing to us 99 of His Names and His Attributes? It is in order for us to know Him, and through knowing Him, we are able to worship Him better and understand the nature of this world. One of the scholars mentioned a saying:

“If one knows the commander, the commands are easy to follow.”

So insha’Allah (God willing) this series will focus on the Names of Allah (swt), and will draw upon research done by Sheikh Ratib an-Nabulsi, Imam al-Ghazali, and Dr. Amr Khaled.

Al-Wahhab: The Constant Bestower of Gifts

Think of the last time someone gave you a gift—how did you feel? A feeling of joy, love, of being special to the person from whom you received the gift, and sometimes a bit of shame if you feel you didn’t deserve it. Because, in essence, a gift isn’t given in return of anything.

One of Allah’s Beautiful Names is al-Wahhab. The root of this word is hiba, which means a gift. And because Allah (swt) is al-Wahhab, it means that He not only gives gifts once or twice, but He constantly does so. Allah (swt) tells us in the Qur’an:

“أَمْ عِنْدَهُمْ خَزَائِنُ رَحْمَةِ رَبِّكَ الْعَزِيزِ الْوَهَّابِ”

“Or do they have the depositories of the mercy of your Lord, the Exalted in Might, the Bestower?” (Qur’an, 38:9)

So how do we know when Allah (swt) has given us a gift? Rizq (sustenance) is written for us, but we have to work for it. So if in the course of our efforts, we earn $1 million, that is rizq that Allah (swt) had ordained for us. Hiba, on the other hand, is just that—a gift that was not conditioned upon your efforts. When you get a phone call from someone you love, that you felt you missed—that is hiba. When without planning, you are fortunate enough to be able to go on `umrah (the minor pilgrimage), that is hiba. When Allah (swt) brings an amazing person into your life and you are able to improve because of them, that is hiba.

The Connection Between Gifts and Love

“يا داود ذكر عبادي بإحساني، فإن القلوب جبلت على حبِّ من أحسن إليها وبغض من أساء إليها”
[ ورد في الأثر ]

It is stated in the traditions:

“O Dawud [David], remind people of my favors upon them, because the hearts are inclined to love those that do good to it and detest those that do bad to it.”

Who do you give gifts to? In general, you give gifts to someone you are thinking about and someone that you love. Sometimes we give gifts to endear people to us. So think about what that means when Allah (swt) gives you a gift.

Some of us may be thinking, “But I am so far from Allah. Why would He give me gifts out of love?” Subhan Allah (Glory to God)—our Lord is greater than we imagine. He gives us gifts so that we know that we have a God who does not forget about His creation—even when they fall astray. He gives us gifts as a reminder so that we can come close to Him.

Do you want to be a recipient of al-Wahhab?

We are all recipients of the many gifts of Allah (swt). Out of the 6 billion people in this world, He chose you to be of the ummah (community) of His Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him). That in itself is a gift that we cannot thank Him enough for. If we all reflect on the many personal blessings in our lives, we cannot help but feel special to Allah (swt). Every little gift and every huge blessing was because al-Wahhab wanted to give you, and you specifically, something.

If you want to be a companion of al-Wahhab, then remember to acknowledge His gifts, even if they seem to be minute, and to thank Him. Allah (swt) says, “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe,” (Qur’an, 14:7). The more we are conscious of Allah’s gifts to us, the more we are able to increase our love for Him, and recognize how blessed we are.

Moreover, we should use His gifts in His way and in His cause. No one likes for their gifts to be cheapened. If Allah (swt) has given you a gift, do not use it for what He dislikes. If we do that, the gift in question becomes a test that we will be held accountable for.

Finally, be a gift giver yourself. The Prophet ﷺ  said, “Give gifts, for this will increase your mutual love,” (Muslim).