But man is essentially an individual. He was born alone and will die alone. He does talk and interact with other people in a number of ways but in a very primitive and biological way, man is essentially individual. Sitting alone for some time should not be unsettling or unnerving, like it sometime gets in our lives. In fact, giving some time only for ourselves could be one of the most enriching experiences ever if one tries to do so. And it can solve a lot of our problems. Problems which arise only because of our inability to stay alone with our thoughts.

If one can be content while sitting alone and don’t feel (or act on) the urge of checking what your friends are doing on social media or the urge to go out and shop and eat your favourite burger or pizza, a lot of our problems can just melt away. It can break the chains and bonds of normal life and we will longer need to be constantly busy just to match up with our peers and unnecessary comparison with others. Being busy, ironically, is the place where all our problems and stress arise out of.

I restore myself when I'm alone - Marilyn Monroe

If you think man is a social animal and cannot survive individually, think again. Man is not fish, and from time to time, he can (and should) get away from water (daily life). We will not die like fish if we spend some time out of water (alone). In fact, we can cherish our individuality and come back to our daily lives refreshed and replenished. A day spent alone from time to time will reduce the chatter of everyday life. You learn to listen to your thoughts, be aware of the different urges to be busy you will have, and then just let them be. And let me tell you, it is not easy to be alone. It can be very unsettling at first, and you can find many reasons to ‘do‘ something. But don’t let your ‘wanting-to-be-productive’ side deny you of your right to spend some time alone.

After some time, you learn to enjoy the quietness of things. You learn to notice the sounds of the birds chirping and the wind blowing. As the clutter of daily life melts away, you are left just with your inner thoughts. At this time, you will find yourself talking to yourself. It takes time getting used to, and you can always ignore your inner voice, but you must listen to it. Some quietness can leave with you with contentment, a new perspective, and a calmer attitude. In short, it can be amazing.

Solitude also makes us realize that our life is a blank slate with nothing in it, and it is our choice what we really want to paint it with. Our life is not about the tasks and the meetings we have all through the day which look unavoidable, but is about finding ourselves. Staying alone teaches us to be content with nothing and realizing that we can paint our life canvas the way we want. What would you call a person who is so busy reaching the destination that he never stops his car for refuelling?

Now what would you call the person who is so busy living life that she misses replenishing her own soul? We all need this refueling exercise of staying alone, and then we can take our life’s car wherever we want. So try sitting alone for some time, and just be quiet. Or perhaps take a long walk alone (like I do). Maybe start with small periods of time, and then increase the duration as you feel more comfortable with it. Just watch your thoughts in solitude but don’t act on them. Just listen, watch and be content. And you will soon realize you never needed anything more!

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Maybe that is the difference between interest and commitment. If I am interested in something or someone, I will act to get something for me out of it/him/her. Also, it will be very easy to give up in the case of an interest when circumstances turn averse or not turn out as we expected. Because as we no longer see the interest getting fulfilled, we have reasons to back out. But commitment is bigger, it is a promise you make to yourself (more than anybody else) and then there are no excuses, but only results that matter. For example, a mother has commitment for her child, and she will even go hungry to feed her child. A mother doesn’t demand fairness from her son, she just loves her, for that is her commitment, irrespective of the situation or whatever obstacles life throws in front of her. As they say, any obstacle will have to go over her dead-body.

“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” - Tom Robbins

So how do we know if we are committed or just interested? Wait for the tough times as real commitment is only tested in the face of obstacles and conflicts, and that is what reveals the true character of all of us. If we can let go of our attachment to the outcomes of our efforts and just focus on the fact that we are committed to do our best, we are more likely to achieve success regardless of how the world shows up. It will always be tempting to give up when we don’t see the outcomes we expect, and that is the threshold of ‘interested‘ and beyond that the world of ‘commitment‘ starts. Every time we experience being upset, irritated or frustrated, we know our commitment is wavering. The question is, “Can we cross this threshold?” And once we step into the world of commitment, we experience being calm, happy, at peace and confident. An interested person will get angry at an unexpected result, while a committed person will accept that fully, and take the next necessary action to stay committed to his goals without freaking out.

If I see back in my life, the times I thought were the toughest have given me the best lessons in life. I am really grateful for them for making me what I am. These tough times have also taught me that we should not define success by the outcome of one’s results, but by the efforts being put in. Being really committed also gives us the freedom of doing our best, yet be completely fine with the final result not being what we expected. No effort is a failure just because it doesn’t result in an expected outcome. It is a success if we gave our best!

If we notice carefully, this dilemma comes up in every area of our lives. Look at the things you got angry over today, and ask yourself – Were you interested in an outcome in that situation? If commitment was present it would not have mattered. Be open to life’s little surprises, and experience its beauty when it does that. Allowing these surprises to happen without getting upset is one of the best things we can do to ourselves.

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What use is a ball which doesn't bounce? The same holds true for man

Pounce
On every gasp of wind!
Bounce
Like you have never sinned!!

Trounce
On all negativity around you!
Bounce
To make miracles come true!!

Renounce
Any pain and fear in your heart!
Bounce
Like every day is a new start!!

Denounce
All that is sad and unfair!
Bounce
And show the world you care!!

Announce
To the world who you are!
Bounce
Light all around like a star!!

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Don't let anybody else's definition of a Monday ruin a wonderful day today, create your own definition today

This phrase has become as much common as has “monday morning blues” which means monday is going to be another tough, boring day at work while the weekend is still away. It is often said that no one likes Mondays and it is very difficult to get out of bed on a Monday morning. And how do you think your Mondays will turn out when you wake up with such an attitude. Most often you will be late to office resisting that meeting or your boss, and everything starts to happen which you dreaded while waking up. Did you expect anything else to happen with such a defeatist attitude towards Mondays?

In different areas of our lives too, we have demarcated good and not-so-good periods which subconsciously affect our actions, even if we dont want them to… That is the power of language and the words we use in our lives. We say a lot of things without knowing and realizing that our words have tremendous power to shape reality. When we use phrases like Thank God It is Friday and Monday Morning Blues, we are unknowingly cursing our days.

Similarly, our words whether in spoken, written or in the form of thoughts have the power to transform the way we live, in a positive direction too. Using our words, we can instil hope, excitement, love and laughter in our days instead of fear, anger and hatred. So it is very important that we use the words we speak with care. Words can lift us up as well as drag us down. But the good news is that it is our choice how we want to use our words – to start new friendships or to start wars?

So as another week starts today, and another Monday awaits you. Go to work full of enthusiasm. Smile and greet everyone you meet today and give the gift of Monday to them too. Believe that you are going to do great work this week, and even the most difficult of tasks will seem easy.

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Try saying this http://t.co/jdbwx8Mk #

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Starting and running a start-up is also the same, in many ways. Being matched up against competitors many times your size and weight, and that too in a market which is not always ‘fair‘, to put it gently. But as in my childhood, being placed against a bigger opponent can have its benefits too. You learn persistence and resourcefulness irrespective of your current situation. These challenges are what makes a startup interesting, and those who drive the thrill out of overcoming these challenges are the right people for a startup.

Why would anyone do that?
You can ask that why would anyone want to fight against a tougher and stronger opponent? Why would anyone want to do something where the chances of success are only minimal? Yes, it doesn’t make sense. This ‘WHY‘ is very difficult to explain in words, but those who do it know the answer somewhere inside. Maybe it is the same reason people cheer the underdog team when they win against a stronger opposition in sports? Maybe it is the same reason that we draw hope from those who fight against the norms for something they truly believe in? Despite of all the fears and challenges. Despite of the very minimal chance of success.

Coming back to entrepreneurship, maybe it is just in some people’s blood (as they say entrepreneurs are born and not made). But whatever it is, the likes of Steve Jobs, Lance Armstrong, Bill Gates and Anna Hazare felt it and at many different times, each one of us have also felt it. When we believe in something for which we are ready to put a lot at stake, we all become entrepreneurs in a way. Whether it is fighting for a cause, running a business, or expanding the boundaries of human performance!!

How would anyone do that?
- Perseverance and Resilience
When you win against a stronger opponent, you become more confident and fearless. But when you lose, you start working on your weaknesses and try to make use of the resources you have. You very well know you can’t afford and have all the resources your competitors have, so you try to make the best out of what you have. And by doing so, you develop such a wonderful skill which even your big competitors doesn’t have – the ability to survive tough times with resilience.

Mark Twain said it very rightly so

- Iterate
In the startup world, as George Patton said “A good plan today is better than the perfect plan tomorrow”, it is very important to act on incomplete information and in a world where uncertainty looms large. If you are doing something worthwhile, then you have to constantly go into uncharted territory, try new ideas, fail, then start again, and then fail again. And so on. As you have to expand yourself so much and step out of your comfort zone in doing so, you also have a steep learning curve.

- Use your ego, but with feet on the ground
Ego is not always bad. Doing a startup is basically believing in yourself when no-one else does, and when even you have your doubts. It is about the confidence that “I can do it, I will do it, even if I don’t have the resources or skills to do it“. It takes a man with ego to go up and stand against the world. But at the same time, you need to stay realistic and know your limitations. A healthy ego is not only required but also necessary to constantly expand yourself and to keep fighting every day, even after facing many defeats. A healthy ego doesn’t stop you from getting back up knowing you might get beaten again.

- Getting things done, despite of a hundred things which need your attention
Startups aren’t for everyone. In a startup you always have thousands of things to do, and you don’t have anybody to delegate to. You will have to do all kinds of things which are normally reserved for ‘other‘ people in a normal job. In short, there are no boundaries of work. You might be planning, designing, coding, doing marketing and sales calls, all in a day. What becomes most important in a startup is to get a task done, irrespective of whether it is above or below your pay scale, irrespective of whether you have done it before or not, irrespective of whether you know how to do it or not. If a client is visiting and your office is a mess, the first person who picks a broom to clean up is the best fit for that startup.

In the end, I think it is the fighting that matters and not the winning. It is the daily grind you go through which is the most important part, even more than actually beating a stronger opponent. As it has been told by many great leaders - “The journey is more important than the destination”. I will end with a quote by Marian Wright Edelman -
“You’re not obligated to win. You’re obligated to keep trying to do the best you can every day.”

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2. The Most Important Thing in a Startup – Avoiding Distractions
3. 8 More Lessons from SaleRaja and other start-ups I have been associated with
4. The Ego. Is it good or bad? And how much should you have?

Nice one “@Iam_BigV: Mahendra Singh Dhoni = Ran on his high demand #Anagram

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]]> http://www.sumit4all.com/updates/my-weekly-tweets-archive-for-the-week-ending-2012-01-16/feed 0 http://www.sumit4all.com/updates/my-weekly-tweets-archive-for-the-week-ending-2012-01-16 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/sumit4all/~3/d-KNkM22zKM/why-i-keep-putting-my-fingers-in-the-electric-socket http://www.sumit4all.com/life/why-i-keep-putting-my-fingers-in-the-electric-socket#comments Tue, 10 Jan 2012 05:21:13 +0000 Sumit Gupta http://www.sumit4all.com/?p=1499 As a kid, I used to have a knack of putting my fingers in the electric sockets at home. Worse, as my parents have told me many times, I knew to turn on the switch before sliding my finger. My parents say they used to pull me, or block the sockets with tapes to prevent me getting electric shocks, but still I remember a few times I was left with burnt fingers. One incident which I very clearly remember is when I put two ends of a copper wire into a socket and turned the switch on. There were sparkles and cracking sounds which left me with black hands and shit scared. I think I escaped getting electrocuted that day because my little experiment took the fuse of the whole house with it. That was the LAST time I played with electric wires and sockets. Lesson well learnt.

So why am I telling you this story? Let me try to answer this with another question. Do you think my parents never told me that playing with electricity was dangerous? They did, but I never listened. Well, until that day when I had black fingers to show and a lot of... Read the rest Related posts:

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2. Five more lessons from Peaceful Warrior
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4. 5 Lessons from the movie Jab We Met
5. 10 Things I am glad I had done (or do) in my life

]]> As a kid, I used to have a knack of putting my fingers in the electric sockets at home. Worse, as my parents have told me many times, I knew to turn on the switch before sliding my finger. My parents say they used to pull me, or block the sockets with tapes to prevent me getting electric shocks, but still I remember a few times I was left with burnt fingers. One incident which I very clearly remember is when I put two ends of a copper wire into a socket and turned the switch on. There were sparkles and cracking sounds which left me with black hands and shit scared. I think I escaped getting electrocuted that day because my little experiment took the fuse of the whole house with it. That was the LAST time I played with electric wires and sockets. Lesson well learnt.

So why am I telling you this story? Let me try to answer this with another question. Do you think my parents never told me that playing with electricity was dangerous? They did, but I never listened. Well, until that day when I had black fingers to show and a lot of sparkling to wreak havoc with the house fuse. But I never repeated the act after that. Because I had scars to show for my mistake and I have learned my lesson well.

I just want to show off my scar proudly and not be afraid of it. - Carly Simon

So here is the point – The lessons we learn best are the ones those leave us with scars to show. Without the scar, there is no incident ingrained in our memory (like I remember this incident even after 25 years). Without the scar, it is like the event never happened. You can learn about things by reading books, watching videos or doing any alternate learning, but nothing can match learning by directly being in action. Because when you read a book, there are no consequences of a ‘mistake‘ you just read about, so in a way nothing was learnt at all. You can remember a book and its lessons for a few days, but you will never forget a lesson which has a personal imprint in your memory because it had consequences (a scar, a burnt hand, or whatever).

The habit to be safe looks good and noble on the outside, but it very dangerous. Let me explain why? Any lesson learnt from somebody else’s mistake makes you miss the most important part of learning, which is seeking answers to your questions. We all have numerous questions as a kid, but in an attempt to act safe, we rarely ask the questions when we grow up and miss the chance to become stronger and better prepared for the future. (that doesn’t mean you jump into fire to see if it is hot or not)

Lessons learned from a painful experience can hurt, but they are necessary. You can’t learn from a lecture how it feels to race your bike and then fall down on the road. Only when you feel the pain in your bones and see your blood when your skin scratches against the road, you will learn the lesson properly as there is pain, fear and you can feel your heart beats right to your core. No book can replace that feeling.

Why you should keep putting your fingers in the socket too?

There is a process of life – of trying something new, finding hurdles, getting hurt, trying again and then succeeding and moving on to bigger hurdles. Through this cycle only people change the world, start new companies, and do the unthinkable. Don’t break this cycle by reading about how to avoid getting hurt. Find your hurdles and then learn your lessons in overcoming it. That curiosity and desire within all of us is the seed of something big. When we act safe, we kill that seed and never give it a chance to blossom into a beautiful flower.

Let that seed grow. Stop being safe and expand the size of the tasks you take on. And it is not something we have to learn new, because as kids we all do that. We jump a distance, then try bigger and bigger distances. Obviously there will be some pain to feel and some scars to show. Do you have any scars to show which resulted in some achievement in your childhood? Do you have some stories revolving around your scars which you tell people with pride?

You are grown up now and are more mature. But that doesn’t and shouldn’t stop you from going out and playing bigger games. Get some new scars to be proud of, some new memories to share, and some new lessons for the future. You need to feel the pain as long you are alive. Without the pain, there is no joy. And without pain and joy, there is no life.

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2. Five more lessons from Peaceful Warrior
3. Why Receiving Is As Important As Giving?
4. 5 Lessons from the movie Jab We Met
5. 10 Things I am glad I had done (or do) in my life

]]> http://www.sumit4all.com/life/why-i-keep-putting-my-fingers-in-the-electric-socket/feed 5 http://www.sumit4all.com/life/why-i-keep-putting-my-fingers-in-the-electric-socket http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/sumit4all/~3/aFeUEXESN00/my-weekly-tweets-archive-for-the-week-ending-2012-01-09 http://www.sumit4all.com/updates/my-weekly-tweets-archive-for-the-week-ending-2012-01-09#comments Mon, 09 Jan 2012 02:30:00 +0000 Sumit Gupta http://www.sumit4all.com/updates/my-weekly-tweets-archive-for-the-week-ending-2012-01-09

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"When I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought, " When I grow up, I want to be famous…. http://t.co/ovm68Le7 #

All about segregation and composting http://t.co/GdA3fBBC #

"What the caterpillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly."
~Lao Tzu~

(A quote for today) #

Wise and successful people always have 2 things on their lips, `Silence and smile`. Smile solves the problems and… http://t.co/2JPh22Se #

A Not-To-Do List for 2012.. Read my first article of the new year!! http://t.co/mxARPC0W #

Some amazing clicks.. http://t.co/mYYoddXI #

10 Things Not to Do in the New Year, did you read it yet?? http://t.co/euaHi3jO #

"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence." #

Some really funny and amusing tweets going around with #describeyoursexlifewithamovietitle #

10 Things I am going to stop doing in the new year… New article coming up tomorrow… #

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