Here are my notes on the subject.

The New Year’s Ritual of Tashlikh

“Tashlikh” is the Hebrew word for “throwing away”. It is a tradition in which we throw away our sins at the start of the new year, to make a fresh new beginning.

Tashlikh seems to have begun in Medieval times, as a practice in Jewish communities where after prayer, stones were thrown in a natural body of water on the afternoon of “Rosh Hashanah“–the Jewish New Year (which occurred in the fall for them, see note below). After prayer, participants would also shake their clothing to symbolically shake sins which have clung to them. Rabbis insisted the water be a natural body, preferably running, and contain fish.

It was described in the Mishnah, and based on Micah 7:19, “God will cover our sins, God will hurl all our sins into the depth of the sea.”

It also seems previewed in Ecclesiastes 3:5… “a time to scatter stones.”

Coincidentally, in the Letter to the Hebrews we read, “Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every weight that slows us down, and the sin that clings to us, and run the race with endurance that is set before us.”

Rosh Hashanah, following the Jewish calendar, takes place in the fall. As part of the celebration, worshippers dip apples into honey and recite a blessing, “Shana Tova Umetukah” –which is Hebrew for “A Good and Sweet Year.” (שנה טובה ומתוקה)

The date of New Years Day has varied widely throughout history. Some ancient cultures placed it in the Spring, others in the Fall. Many, like the Romans placed it after the winter solstice…which in the Julian and Gregorian calendars became January 1st. By the 17th Century most of Europe had followed suit.

The dating of New Years is rather irrelevant. The important thread is that God has given us time and ritual to remind us of what’s important.

-Neil

If you want to receive copies of blog posts like this one with fresh ministry ideas, challenging points of view and tech notes for churches, then Click here to subscribe! The link will take you to my Google “feedburner” page where you can add your email address. Then, when I post something new to this site, you’ll get an email copy of it.

A fun game about the reasons why we should worship and go to church.

Seems harmless. But to many of us coming in the door, it comes across as passive aggressive, -judgmental. “Missed you last Sunday” sounds a lot like, “You should have been here.”

Worse, it sounds too much like our mother saying, “Where were you last night?” And indeed, some pastors and parishioners I’ve met mean it exactly like that. They didn’t really miss you. They want to know why you weren’t there. And even if they don’t, that’s what it makes you feel like. …and nobody likes that feeling.

I accept that some pastors say “Missed you” without even thinking about it, and probably without any twinge of judgementalism. But the effect is often the same: you feel judged.  So I offer this advice: 

There are some things a pastor SHOULDN’T SAY,
….and “Missed you last Sunday” is one of them.

The problem isn’t just with the pastor. Well-meaning (?) CHURCH members often say the same thing, only they’ll come right out and say, “Where were you?”  In fact, in every church there seems to be one person who excels at it, and I know exactly who it is at my church (and indeed, when I was on staff, it was regrettably sometimes me).

I find it interesting that even when I have a “good” excuse –I still feel a bit defensive and guilty when someone “misses” me. And no, that’s not just me, ask around. (Update: an hour after I posted this someone emailed and said “me too!”)

About the only two “good” excuses people seem to accept are: “I was out of town,” and “I wasn’t feeling well.” God-forbid I slept in, or overslept, or went diving, or went out to breakfast, or went to watch my kid play in a soccer tournament.

Funny thing is, if I say, “I wasn’t feeling well”, they understand. But if I say, “I’ve been tired and needed to sleep in”, or, “my daughter and I wanted to go diving and it was her only day off,” then I’m probably in for  a “must be nice” response.

Okay, some of those excuses are probably not “good” excuses, but choosing to occasionally do something different than going to church is not a “bad” excuse either. In fact, I hate the fact that I’m even using the word “excuse” here. Attendance is not a measure of godliness. (See my “thought” question at the end for more on this).

Aside: When I was a church staff minister, I wasn’t fully aware and paid little attention to the SUBTLE POWER I had to CONVEY GUILT.  And since leaving the pulpit to reside in the pew, I’ve come to appreciate how MY attendance not voluntary, but PAID FOR. For 20 years it wasn’t an option to NOT be there, except when I was on vacation. Now that I’m a pastor in the pew, volunteering on staff (while running my CE software company during the week), I have a REAL CHOICE not to go to church. It was an eye-opener for sure, and there are many other posts in this blog about WHAT ELSE I’ve learned.

I know from experience that many people feel the same way I do about this subject. And if REGULAR MEMBERS feel this way, imagine how the “irregular” members feel when we ask them where they’ve been?  (in our subtle ways, of course).  In fact, with our irregular members, “Missed You” could be doing more harm than good.

Why? Because nobody likes to feel guilty or judged, …even if you didn’t intend to make them feel that way.

Guilt often backfires, especially among those of us reared under “Grace” instead of “Damnation”. We don’t equate NOT being there with lack of faith. Problem is, we still feel guilty about it.  (Such is life.)

So my point is, DON’T HELP US by making us feel MORE guilty. Rather, LISTEN to what we’re saying to you. Listen to how we spent our time, or what we felt our needs were, and respond to those.

____

I’m especially concerned about how we unwittingly GUILT the kids and teens…

Years ago, I had this conversation with one of the teens at our church. Only later did I realize how it had affected her, and what a missed opportunity it was for me as her minister.

Amy: (slinking in another door to enter the Sanctuary)

Neil:  Hi Amy, Can you come to Youth Group tonight? (he said walking towards her)

Amy: No, sorry, I’m running tonight.

Neil:  (not listening) Oh, well, we miss you in youth group. We’re playing volleyball tonight.

Amy: Sounds like fun. I feel awful about not being able to come.

Neil: Well, maybe next Sunday.

Amy:  (Cringing)  Oh, sorry, I can’t make that either, I’m so sorry Neil!  (Amy goes into Worship.)

The following week I found out that Amy was in the state track meet and won first place in the mile. Sunday night was training, and the following Sunday was the meet.
What I should have done and said was affirm her, ….and brought the youth group to see her!  But all I did was end up with a kid who avoided me most Sundays, because nobody likes to feel like a slacker.

___________________________________________
FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
How many of your members feel guilty about not attending sometimes?

What will they tell you are the subtle ways the church/pastor “makes them” feel this way?

What are some better ways to inquire about people’s lives without sounding like “missed you last Sunday?”

____________________________________________

Advertisement: I made a software game about “The Importance of Going to Church.” It’s called, Attack of the Sunday School Zombies CD, www.sundaysoftware.com/zombies, and deals with the ‘excuses’ some people make for not going, and the poor attitude some people bring with when they DO go! (How funny is that?)

Fav icons make the bookmark or browser tab
“Fav” is short for “favorite”, and even if you didn’t know they were called that, you’ve seen “Fav” or “Favorite” icons all over your Browser window. A “fav” icon is a simple custom graphic provided by your website that appears next to the name of the webpage.

Here you can see the “fav icons” in my browser window Favorites Menu.  For example, you can see that I have a Google “favicon” in my favorites bar.  Your internet browser may show them differently.

Note: Not all webpages can or have ‘fave’ icons. Instead, they use the default brower’s icon, such as Internet explorer’s standard favicon:

One of the BIG advantages of having a custom fav icon is that it makes your link/bookmark STAND OUT to the user. And if you’re like me, you’ve created a mini menubar of “favorite sites” on the top of your browser windows. You do this by dragging the faveicon of any site down on to the toolbar. Very slick, and you can see the visual impact in the image above.

Another big advantage is that you can encourage church members to “drag the church’s website onto your browser toolbar” so it will always be staring at them one click away when they browse the internet.

FAV ICONS ARE TERRIFIC REMINDERS that say “come visit me!”
…and they are really easy to make and install.

To  add  your  own favicon.ico to a web page you need put the icon graphic file on the server into  the same directory as the web  page it is for.  So, if your main page is located at www.yourchurchsite.org/index.htm Then you need to upload your favicon.ico to www.yourchurchsite.org, i.e, the same folder as the page you want an icon for.  That  is the  first place a  browser will search.

Note: By putting the faveicon.ico file in the main folder/directory, it will become the default favicon for all the  pages in  your  domain.

Next… Depending  on the user’s browser, the favicon.ico may not always be picked up by simply uploading it. Sometimes you have to put a piece of code in the main index page of your site to say “show my favicon.” Here’s the html code you’d slip into the <head> section of your webpage’s code to be sure every browser sees your favicon.

<link rel="icon" href="favicon.ico" type="image/x-icon">
<link rel="shortcut icon" href="favicon.ico" type="image/x-icon">

You don’t have to create a custom favicon. Just google “christian fav icon” to look for free ready-made ones you can copy to your website. Chose one that is between 32×32 pixels and 64×64 pixels and visually stands out. Icons need to be simple, so don’t look for one that has a lot of text because the image is so small it won’t be readable.

Your favicon does not have to be in the .ico file format. Most web browsers can support jpg, gif and png favicons as well as “ico”, (thus, you can upload favicon.jpg, or favicon.gif, or favicon.png). Your choice.

Tip: Favicons need to be simple “icon” graphics, not photos as they can only be 16×16 pixels.

Tip:  Include the favicon image in newsletters and emails to help members MAKE THE CONNECTION. Every little bit helps when trying to get & stay in front of your members’ attention.

<>< Neil MacQueen
www.sundayresources.net
www.sundaysoftware.com

Check out Name Badger at www.sundaysoftware.com/namebadger

Having led many “Pastoral Prayers” over the years in several churches, I think it’s one of the most CHALLENGING parts of worship, and one that need improvement. Honestly, I never felt quite comfortable delivering it because I didn’t have a really good “Holy Joe” voice. I’ve always felt that prayer was something more personal, and less “speechy.”  And as a “pastor in the pew” I’ve listened with some inside experience to a lot of other pastor’s Pastoral Prayers.

Having come at it from both directions, and tried many tweaks, I offer these insights and suggestions with the hope of stimulating your own.

Here are  8 “problems” with the Pastoral Prayer and the Pastor who delivers them, and suggestions for change.

1. The Audacity of thinking one person or one prayer can pray for a whole group of people, and meet their needs.

I’ve often mentioned this “audacity” to congregations, both before and during the prayer, and occasionally in a sermon. This helps them (and me) with our expectations, and gives permission to change. Many have a rigid idea of the correct form of the prayer.  I’ve told them some of the things on my mind, and let them know if I was going to leave space for their silent prayers (such a concept!).  I’ve mentioned to them that when I pause, it’s not because I’ve lost my place, but because I’m leaving space for their thoughts. They like that.

In particular, I’ve found it helpful expand on ideas such as, “Lord, how should we speak to you?” “How can we pretend to speak when we have failed to listen?”  “What words suffice when our hearts are heavy with…”

One of the most well-received forms I’ve used is what I call “The Pause Prayer.” I tell the congregation that I’m going to introduce an idea, and then CUE them to pause to let them think about it in their own prayer, then after 10 seconds, move on saying “Lord, hear our prayer.” I’m sure you’ve experienced some form of this prayer.

Sometimes you see these “Pause Prayers” written in the program as litanies.  I’m not a huge fan of litanies, because reading doesn’t feel like praying. Too many litanies sound like sermons, or worse, –the prayer writer’s attempt to impress people with their Holy Joe skills. Even litanies with space for silent prayer often leave people looking at the printed text and wondering when the pastor is going to start up again.

(Note to pastors: When you put us “in the mello mood of silent prayer, don’t burst-in over the microphone with a loud voice. SOFTLY cue us back into listening.)

2. The TUG between the “Holy Joe” language of public prayer-leading versus the heart-felt ramblings of personal prayer.

From time to time I have written out the prayer using no “Holy” words, instead using common language to express the same idea. It has taught me to keep it real. It sounds more authentic and makes prayer-as-something-I-should-do-more-often more accessible to the average worshipper. I’ve also slowed-down and let silence fall between ideas in my spoken prayer… to let the people feel the comment, process it, and converse with it. Pastoral Prayers should not be speeches.

“Holy” language can backfires on our intent. We want our people to pray, but if we set the “language bar” for prayer too far above the average person’s verbal level, we are undermining their feeling of adequacy. Flowery prayer sound powerful to some, but it has also taught generations of people to be stiff and formal in their own prayers, or left them not praying at all because they feel inadequate. (And you see the effect when the pastor asks someone else to lead a prayer…  the comfort level and language ain’t there.)

TRUTH: One of the reasons pastors fall back on “holy language” is because it’s easier to write “holy” prayers, than heart-felt. And pastors often leave the pastoral prayer to Sunday morning’s preparation when they are busy polishing the sermon and doing countless other things.  This is one of the reasons the “preacher” should not lead the pastoral prayer. Or at least, should focus on it prior to Sunday morning.

BTW… I think the Pastoral Prayer should be written out, and not extemporaneous. Meaningful ad-libbing is fine, but when you’re praying for a group, you have a responsibility not to get tongue-tied or have brain-freeze.  Writing out the prayer will also help you avoid boilerplate Holy Joe prayer language that you fall back on when your brain infarcts!

3. The Lack of Variety when one person is the regular prayer leader.

Pastoral Prayers should not always be led by the pastor!  That’s not what “pastoral” means. Elders should be invited to pray, and perhaps should be taught in a “pastoral prayer workshop” once a year.  There are books of prayers, and many online sites with new prayers submitted from many different traditions. MINE them.

4. The “Exhausted Pastor Syndrome”...having to lead the prayer after a lengthy exhausting sermon.

Take my word for it… after a sermon, the preacher’s mind is exhausted and still whirling.  Therefore, either a) Find help to do the prayer, or b) put several worship items between the sermon and the prayer in the program.  And if you ARE that exhausted pastor, have your pastoral prayer written out ahead of time, otherwise you’ll fall back on Holy language and platitudes.

5. The Pastoral Prayer Shopping List. “The form” we have been taught goes like this: Praise to, Thanksgiving for, prayers about the world, the community, and lastly us.   It’s too much. It turns the prayer into a check-list.

There is no rule that a pastoral prayer has to start off with praise and thanksgiving. You can go right to the personal stuff. While these other elements are important, other parts of the worship service can (and do) deal with them. Give TIME to subjects in your prayer. Rather than viewing your pastoral prayer as a “catch all”, let other parts of the service carry some of the weight. View the service content in an integrated fashion, rather than as separate items with their own agendas.

6. The Horror of Things Left Out. …the pastoral prayer as lip-service to the disaster of the day, impending holiday, or other noteworthy event one must mention. Failure to mention it will certain mean it gets mentioned to you at the end of the service! Create a practice where you invite people to submit suggestions for the prayer. And then always look at your calendar and the morning paper before writing your prayer.  Doesn’t hurt to check CNN or your text messages and email.  Make a habit of inviting prayer concerns prior to the beginning of worship.

(I’m NOT a huge fan of inviting prayer requests DURING worship. Inevitably a few people dominate, and many who won’t speak in public won’t share in public either. It also takes too much time in worship. Sad, but true.)

7. The Pastoral Prayer as Sermon Summary. In a word, “don’t“.  IMHO…  Using the prayer to summarize the sermon is the worst thing that can happen to the pastoral prayer. “Touch on” a key point or allude to something, yes, –but recap? No!  If your sermon isn’t memorable enough without including it in the pastoral prayer, you have a sermon problem.

8. The Adrenaline-Rushed Pastor speeding through the prayer.

Three things:
a) Cut your prayer word count, then you won’t have to rush.
b) Start the pastoral prayer with silent prayer, and remember to pray yourself (for one thing it lowers your heartrate).
c)  Let someone else do the pastoral prayer.

Many speakers, including many pastors, are unaware of the SPEED at which they pray. Some whip through the Praises. Some whip through it all!   At a church where I attended as a “pastor in the pew” every Sunday the Senior Pastor would lead us on a nice & slow pastoral prayer, then WHIP THROUGH the Lord’s Prayer. He was like a horse headed to the barn. You could actually hear him AHEAD of the congregation pulling us through the Lord’s Prayer.  The problem: he had put us all in a mello mood during the prayer, then he got prefunctory with the Lord’s Prayer and sped up.   Word to the pastor…. step back from the microphone after you start the Lord’s Prayer. Let the congregation lead it.

9.  ________________ This one is left open for your struggle and solution.

<>< Neil

See my article about, Tips on Teaching Children to Pray and Using Software to Teach Children to Pray

www.sundaysoftware.com/lessons/prayer.htm

Advertisement!

www.sundaysoftware.com/namebadger

In Windows, there’s a simple little TEXT FILE you can create in Windows Notepad that works with Internet Explorer to do exactly what I wanted to do.  You type some simple instructions and the URLs of the sites you want to open, and save it all with a “.bat” file extension, instead of “.txt”

By saving the file to my desktop and giving it the “.bat” extension, Windows turns it into a Desktop Shortcut that I can click to launch Internet Explorer (or any internet browser) and opens all the sites in the file in different tabs. Very slick.

Here are the steps to creating it….

1.  RIGHT click on an empty area of your Desktop and select NEW, then “Text Document“.
This will open Notepad.

2. TYPE @echo off on the first line.

3. On the second line TYPE the word start then space, and “any-label-name-you-want”
followed by “http://www.any-web-address-you-want.com”

You can list as many websites to open as you want.

Notice the quotes around each statement.

Here’s an example of the text file.

Example of the text file to create

4. Click FILE, then SAVE AS, and save your new text file with any name to your Desktop, then also TYPE .bat as the file extension name.

The .bat file extension signals to Windows to make this file an executable shortcut rather than just treat it as a text file.

In the example above, I named my file “OPEN-ALL.bat”.  You can name your file “anything.bat” .

Now when you double-click the desktop icon you just created, it will open Internet Explorer and open each of your websites in separate tabs!

5.  A Convenient LAST STEP

You could now just use the shortcut on your desktop as your one-click solution, but I wanted it to also appear on my Internet Explorer shortcut bar. So… with my browser windows open, I dragged the desktop shortcut from the Desktop to the Browser shortcut bar, and VIOLA!  …Internet Explorer sucked it right in.

Here’s an example of how I dragged my Open-All.bat file onto my Internet Explorer shortcut bar.

Example of dragging the batch file shortcut onto the IE window to create a shortcut there

Hope you find my shortcut handy!

Neil

www.sundaysoftware.com

Faith through the Roof CD from Sundaysoftware.com

The cost of going to church has DOUBLED within the past 2 years because gas prices have doubled. And experts predict they could go higher.

Imagine what that means for your members who don’t live close to the church.

EXAMPLE & IMPACT:

“Jane” is spending close to $500 a year on gas to go to your church.

Here’s the breakdown: Jane lives 5 miles from your church and drives the family to church each Sunday in a minivan that gets 15 miles mpg in the city. Roundtrip = 10 miles.  Rounded for the sake of argument at today’s $4+ per gallon =  It costs Jane $3 in gas on Sunday.

But Jane also brings the kids to fellowship on Wednesday night (that’s another $3), PLUS, she comes to Thursday night choir practice ($3), once a month to the Mission meeting (another $3), and once or twice a month to drop off clothing or help with a project.  All totaled, Jane is driving about 150 “church miles” a month. At 15 miles to the gallon, and $4 a gallon for gas, that’s about $40 per month or $500 a year.

Now add Jane’s husband who goes to HIS OWN events and meetings, and Jane’s teenage son who goes to youth group every Sunday. They go to church together (except when the son wants to drive his own car). Now you’re in the neighborhood of $600+ a year in gasoline just to belong to your church.

If gas goes up another 10% this year, as many experts predict, Jane’s family will need $660 to get to your church. If it goes up another 20% to $5 a gallon as some predict, then Jane’s family will need $720 just to get to your church.

That’s crazy.  (And imagine the cost of this for a member who lives 10 miles away!)

Studies have shown that that $4 gas prices are finally forcing people to cut back their driving. As they rise, will they also force people to re-evaluate which churches they belong too and how often they go?  Time will tell.

If your church is a “regional” church, such as a downtown church, then gas prices are SURE to affect many of your member’s decisions EVEN MORE, –and perhaps even their decision to join.

Things you can do to help:

1. Carpool. Help members who live at a distance to connect with each other and carpool. Carpooling might just encourage their attendance too!  …as they will be calling to remind each other about meetings and events. One simple way is to post a large map with pushpins at your church. Another way is to “sort” names in your church directory by location, rather than by alphabet, and print copies of it (and post on your website). Appoint a ‘captain’ of each ‘precinct’ to contact members about carpooling.

And imagine the indirect effect of members driving members!  Fellowship, pastoral care, attendance increases.

2. Consolidate Meeting Schedules. Look at your schedule and try to have “meeting nights” so that husband and wife who volunteer can drive together. Hold adult Bible studies during kids fellowship events.

3. Encourage alternatives to “driving to Church.” Publish bus schedules. Encourage “BIKE NIGHTS” or “Walk-in Nights.”  Not every one could do this, but it would send a positive message, and in some churches create a positive stir!

4. Reduce unnecessary meetings. ’nuff said.

5. Utilize technology. Explore virtual meeting tools, such as message boards and even video cam meetings. Use email to replace “report” meetings.

6. Get 2 events for every 1 drive to church by creating “Team Huddles” that piggyback on other events which most team members are already attending, such as, after worship, or before a Bible study.  Most committees I’ve been on could easily cut their regular meeting dates by two-thirds, if they’d just plan for face-to-face before/after other events.

7. Discuss with members how the cost of driving to church can be dramatically affected by having a more fuel-efficient car, …or if they have two cars in the garage to choose from, -picking the more fuel efficient car to get to church. I know of one church that even brought an all-electric car to the church parking lot one Sunday so that people could test drive it.

8. Encourage members to consolidate driving to church events (instead of mom going early for choir and dad bringing the kids, for example).  Encourage them to plan OTHER ERRANDS to coincide with church events.

9. Create an Emergency Fuel Fund for members who can’t afford to get to church (or to the doctor or to work).

10. Get your Leaders working on adding more great ideas to this list!

—————-

Will Gas Prices Affect Giving?

Undoubtedly, and even more so this time around due to the recent recession. If my family is spending $700 next year driving to your church, that’s money I can’t GIVE to the church. Now multiply that by the number of OTHER families having to spend that.

In one small church I used to belong to, MANY families lived more than 5 miles from the church. 20 families in that small church were easily living 5+ miles away. Collectively, they were spending $14,000 a year just to get to church in 2007. In the small church I belong to now, the average member lives 5 miles away or more.

It is good stewardship for a church to be actively helping its members save money and address energy consumption. It’s also financially smart.

<>< Neil MacQueen
www.sundayresources.net
www.sundaysofware.com

I’ve been writing other posts here about churches going green and SAVING MONEY. See them in my “Green Jesus” category at http://sundayresources.net/neil/category/greenjesus/

We have a wonderful clipart CD for churches. Check it out at http://sundaysoftware.com/clickart

Adding God’s Memory to our Episodic Memory

The ability to remember HOW to do things based on past experience is called “Episodic Memory.”  It’s a distinct type of memory we have and begins to develop around age 4.  How we live our lives and solve problems and plan ahead is worked out in the brain by including past memories.

When we believe, we begin the process of incorporating God’s story into our own, and letting Godly memories inform our decisions.  It’s as simple as that. Paul said it this way in Philippians 2:5:  “Have the same mind as Christ Jesus….”

Pastors Have Become Priests

Somewhere along the line for pastors, WORSHIP eclipsed the teaching of God’s Word. I know pastors who rarely teach outside of the pulpit. They are more comfortable in a black robe or hospital room than in a classroom.

Yet one only has to look at the ministry of Jesus to see God’s thoughts on that subject. Jesus spent MOST of his ministry TEACHING, not leading worship, or going to worship. Indeed, Jesus was often referred to as “Rabboni” –”teacher.”

Would that more pastors would  imitate Jesus –and devote as much time to helping believers incorporate God’s Word into their memories as Jesus did.  Yet pastors and parishoners have become “WORSHIP” focused for a lot of reasons too numerous to mention here.  One wonders, however, how our worthy our Worship could truly be, if more people owned God’s story in their hearts and memories.

Food for foresight!

<>< Neil

——————————-

.

Other than the snappy title, what caught my attention was that it came from the pastor of www.LifeChurch.tv …an online church that they say occasionally meets around the country/globe. I first ran across them when I downloaded their free “youversion” Bible for my iphone.  It’s not my favorite free iphone Bible app (none really are at this point.) 

The concept of “online church” seems oxymoronic. But then, so does “offline church” !   And by “off line” I mean a church which seems disconnected from its community, social issues, and the members from each other, –only to “pretend connectedness” on Sunday.  As a pastor now serving from the pew, I’ve been in congregations which are more OFFline than ON. They are more “apart” than together. This is both literally true of all, and figuratively true of most!

EDGY PERSPECTIVE: One of the “conceits” of the church is that they believe they are the center of their members’ lives, and don’t make coming to church a priority all the time. As a former staff person, this is often what all our efforts were about… GETTING people to church, as if being there and building faith, and acting faithfully were all the same thing.

I spent too much time preparing people to COME, and not enough time preparing them  to GO. 

Too much program connectedness and not enough personal connectedness. 

( I’ve posted more about this elsewhere in this blog, so BACK TO THE BOOK! )

Here’s a short listing of the author’s definition of “Christian athiest”.  They are also his chapter titles.

• You believe in God …but don’t really know him
• You believe in God …but aren’t really sure he loves you
• You believe in God …but not in prayer
• You believe in God …but don’t think he’s fair
• You believe in God …but don’t forgive
• You believe in God …but don’t think you can change
• You believe in God …but still worry all the time
• You believe in God …but pursue happiness at any cost
• You believe in God …but trust more in money
• You believe in God …but don’t share your faith

Pretty damning, if you ask me. But the cool thing about this list, and about the book, is that we know some of the solutions.  These are messages and ideas we’ve been hearing/preaching for years, which the author gives an engaging new spin to.

To his list I would add: 

You believe in God, and Go to Church, but….

• don’t read your bible
• don’t invite your friends about your church
• don’t try to establish friendships with church members OUTSIDE the church building
• don’t expect more from your church
• sit back and keep quiet rather than step forward to help

What would you add?

————————

Ad and Lament

This past month we got word that Tyndale is putting the Ilumina Bible DVD software out of print.  I personally think that’s a huge mistake. It’s the best available and works GREAT on Windows 7. It’s so deep and good I wish they had an iphone/ipad app for it!  (I often read the Bible on my iphone when I’m sitting somewhere waiting).

I know their developer left them, so I suppose that may have had something to do their decision to put the product out of print. Tyndale is also so big they can do what they please. It’s just TOO BAD that YET ANOTHER GREAT SOFTWARE PROGRAM is disappearing for no good reason, and with nothing as good to replace it.  See it before.

I’ve swooped in and bought as many as I could afford. And at $25 they hard to beat.  When you see your copy, you’ll join in wondering “This is a great program…what the heck were they thinking!”

www.sundaysoftware.com/ilumina

After some recent SLUGGISH BEHAVIOR on my 2 year old laptop, I downloaded the latest free version of Windows Cleanup from Microsoft and BY GOSH IT WORKED. Got rid of all sorts of leftover files, orphaned programs, clutter, and things I wasn’t using anymore. It freed up and re-arranged my hard disk space so it would operate more efficiently. Wouldn’t it be nice to have such a program for your church?   There’s your parable in brief. 

One of the biggest RESOURCE HOGS are programs that think they need to startup everytime you turn on your computer, or turn on your browser.  These programs scream for attention, –even if they are low priority.  Sometimes they are called “plug-ins” …and all they do is TAKE UP WORKING MEMORY, and SAP OPERATING POWER.  The Windows cleanup program and ‘uninstall’ feature work wonders on such programs.  Your church have any programs or program leaders like that?  More parable.

A lot of these resource hogs are “running in the background” -as they say in Windows. Press Ctrl-Alt-Delete on your keyboard to bring up your Task Manager and you will see tabs for “Applications” and “Processes”  …all running and sucking power and attention away from your processor. Some are essential. Some are optional. And some just need to be stopped.  (They are like the “phantom power” problem we have at home with all our powercords.) 

Who’s doing Task Managing in the church? 
Where’s our “uninstall” button?

One of the biggest SLOW DOWNS on your computer is your “Windows Registry”.  This is a filing cabinet of bureaucratic protocols for nearly every program and configuration on your computer. And every time you start up your computer, Windows has to load the registry. Over time, your registry gets bloated with all sorts of meaningless and fanciful information, and this starts to slow Windows down.  More parable!  (Aside: Bloated registry kind of reminds me of the church’s annual report. “The did-little committee did a lot this year.” hahaha)

If you have ears, you get my drift.

For the slightly deaf:  The church has a lot of resource hogging, registry bloating, phantom power issues.  …me too.

Some “Cleanup” is required. 
But what kind of cleanup?  
Based on a personal experience which I’m about to share, …even the KIND of cleanup needs to be considered.

Here’s the Confession:

Many years ago they did a “time study” of the staff at a church where I served as an Associate Pastor. It was done pro-bono by a professional management consultant (which should have raised a red flag right there!    They decided I was “working at 140% capacity.”  So what did they do? 

-Teach me how to be more efficient?   No.  
-Help me prioritize my work?   No. 
-Decide that some of what I was doing wasn’t really needed?   No. 
=Help me delegate some of my responsibilities to volunteers?    Hahaha.

No, instead they hired another minister and gave him some of my responsibilities. I was SO happy!  …and immediately proceeded to fill my new found “extra time” with new things related to the remainder of my job description.  In computer parlance, they uninstalled some programs so I could install new ones. “One devil for another.”

THE MISTAKE they (and I) made was that they looked at HOW MUCH I was doing,

———and not at all WHAT or HOW I was doing it,

……………….or IF I should be doing it at all.

Looking back…. one of the quickest and most profound changes they (I) should have implemented, was to simply say, “you will spend X amount of time every week outside the church office calling upon individuals and families.”  I did do calling, but only when time permitted, or when people were sick.  They wanted me to continue to focus on our rather successful programs.  Yet now I realize that their definition of “success” (and mine) was skewed. Even as successful as we were in that church (we grew by 30% during my time there and doubled our budget), I was still only really actively ministering to half the parishoners in my areas of responsibility, and it wasn’t as nearly relational and personal as I now believe it should have been.

Secret(?) 
Most ministers do not like calling on parishoners. It goes against our sense of privacy to “cold call” people, …walk into their homes and ask questions about their life. Rather, most ministers WAIT for parishoners to come to them. Or, we create programs, such as Bible studies, where the faithful few expect questions and want to share. The problem is that those programs don’t attract or provide pastoral contact to most of our parishoners.  Now that I’m back on the “pew side” of things (no longer actively serving as “the” minister in a church) I am reminded that most of us yearn for ministers -and other people we look up to, –to take us seriously, to inquire about our life and hopes and dreams and concerns. …To get beyond the chit-chat. 

Since those days, I’ve reinvented my personal beliefs about many things in the church.  And this blog has many of those ideas.

In youth ministry, for example,  –If I were starting over I’d make my youth ministry more relational and much less “programmatic.”  You can read about my experiments with a different kind of youth ministry at http://www.sundaysoftware.com/articles/tribe13/    You can also see my research into the “church attendance” issue and suggestions for children/youth at http://sundayresources.net/neil/2010/11/15/the-positive-effect-of-even-some-attendance/

Conclusion: 

Church Clean Up is a great idea…  Getting rid of Resource Hogs, Prioritizing, Reorganizing.

But perhaps its time to also change many of our Operating System & Assumptions about what we think we’re supposed to be DOING in the first place.

<>< Neil

We have a wonderful clipart CD for churches. Check it out at http://sundaysoftware.com/clickart

Malcolm Gladwell’s latest bestselling book “BLINK” is about “why we behave the way we do.” It offers up a treasure trove of scientific case studies and experiments that describe how the brain makes decisions both consciously and sub-consciously.  [Note to preachers: Every chapter has a sermon waiting to be unearthed in it.]

• Marriage  …the surprising research into warning signs of failing marriage
• Racism and Age-ism  …research into how we can be conditioned
• How We Make Snap Decisions -the science of how the brain does it (“thin slicing”)
• Priming people for certain behaviors
• Why we prefer “tall, dark and handsome”
• The Wrong Way to ask people what they want
• Mind Reading
• Listening with your eyes

These are just a few of the subjects explored in the book.

Now on to the point of this post….

For better or worse, our students are being ”primed” about coming to church or staying home, joining and not, pursuing an active faith or being agnostic. Everything we do primes them in on direction or another. We are not alone in this priming, but we in the church also cannot afford to be part of the negative priming.

In his chapter: “The Secret Life of Snap Decisions”, Gladwell offers up NUMEROUS research findings into how people “thin slice” –his word for how the brain makes quick decisions (reacts) consciously and sub-consciously. Within that chapter he quotes several scientific studies into a process called “PRIMING”.

Priming is how the brain can be prepared in advance to make certain type of decisions and behave in certain predictable ways.

(The numerous experiments) “…suggest that what we define as ‘free will’ is largely an illusion…. that much of the time we are on auto-pilot, …and the way we think and act, and how well we think and act on the spur of the moment,  are a lot more susceptible to outside influence than we realize.”  (Blink, Ch 2, page 58)

The research points out just how IMPORTANT LANGUAGE IS in PRIMING THE SUB-CONSCIOUS.

In several famous experiments described in Blink, groups of college students were primed with a written pre-test. One group’s test was full of positive & kind words, the second was full of negative & aggressive words.  Then the students were individually presented with a situation after the test and their reactions recorded.  Those who’s pre-test primed them to be polite were 82% more likely to be polite in the interpersonal situation presented to them (without their knowledge) following the test.   82%.

Numerous similar research projects found that priming works to create all sorts of impressions in the participants, including their feelings about race and age. “Conditioning” or “brainwashing” are extreme examples of priming. Priming, however, is often more subtle…  and has been used by teachers and parents for eons to shape student behavior and thinking. Importantly, the research is showing us that this is the WAY the brain works. It’s not an aberration. Everyone is subject to priming and conditioning. And it suggest that “faith” and faithful behaviors are something we can be primed for, just as easily as we can be primed in the direction of being agnostic or athiestic.

The scientific understanding of “priming” also explains why we have different types of churches… we acclimate ourselves and our children to different styles, language and circumstances. And some people respond better to certain types of priming than others.  Take for example, a child with conservative parents and a conservative church. They reinforce each other.

THE BRAIN LIKES PRIMING, …and is built to do it, …and we can harness the power of priming for good. In fact, you cannot NOT prime.  And equally important: we can negatively prime people too, and this brief posting will mention that as well!

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Over the years I’ve been asked to “define Sunday School”, or asked “why do we have them?” The science of priming gives us an important behavior answer:  Sunday School and Youth Groups EXIST TO PRIME OUR CHILDREN in the way we hope they will go, behave, speak, and think.

What we say, how we say it, the words we choose, the feelings we impart, the atmosphere we create,  –they all prime our children’s sub-conscious and conscious decision making processes. Yet in so many churches, we get the kids in and begin to negatively reinforce their decision-making about God and church.  Indeed, we almost DARE some children (and adults) to come back -in spite of our lame-ness.

(I’m using “lame” here in the slang sense. “Weak” or “mediocrity” can also be substituted.  John the Elder might have added, “lukewarm.”)

Over time lame churches continually do things that reinforce people’s opinion of the church’s “lameness.”

Lame churches PRIME their members to expect lameness through a series of subtle messages, such as, peeling paint, unclean nursery floors, unprepared leaders, crappy sermons, mediocre pastors, boring atmosphere, lack of quality control (etc etc).  PRIMING can happen by onslaught, or by a steady drip, drip, drip. (Not one to complain without offering help, I’ve addressed solutions in other posts in this blog.)

As we learned with the youth group movement of the 70′s and 80′s, being “friendly and fun” wasn’t enough. PRIMING is not just about creative positive associations. It’s not about running a happy active youth group. It’s about priming them to think about the church as their home, rather than something to do. It’s about priming young people to want to be fed rather than just snacked. If all we do is make them happy, then they will eventually find more-happy elsewhere. This is the lesson all those fellowship youth groups taught us. If it’s just about hanging out, fun & games, and doesn’t connect/prime them to a higher power, then we’ve only primed them to think of the church as “one more social choice.” …and as “just another social activity,” we can’t compete.

———————-

The scriptures are not mute on this concept….

Deuteronomy 11:19-21 offers suggestions about how to prime and priming’s desired result :

“Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates,   —so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.”

Psalm 119: 9-16 could easily be the goal statement and measure for children and youth ministry:

⁹ How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.
¹⁰ I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
¹¹ I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
¹² Praise be to you, LORD;
teach me your decrees.
¹³ With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.
¹⁴ I rejoice in following your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.
¹⁵ I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.
¹⁶ I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word.

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Final Thoughts….

Priming isn’t just about “getting them there” …it’s also about what we do with them after they’ve arrived, and how we follow up with them after they’ve left. To use the pump metaphor, priming’s point is to create suction in the pump to draw water through additional pumping. It’s probably the only time we can try that church should suck (sorry, couldn’t resist).  Point: Priming is only part of the work.

Parents would be wise to consider HOW THEY PRIME THEIR CHILDREN TO GO TO CHURCH.  We need to do some serious thinking in this area, because we’ve made some huge mistakes (things we thought were good but didn’t help).

Cases in point: Decades ago parents thought it would help their kids if they stopped making them dress up to go to church. So kids stopped dressing up, and their attendance continued to decline. And we let them sit in Sunday School while mom and dad worshipped. Guess what? They decided not to sit in worship as adults too.

We also need to stop the HIDDEN negative priming of our children and youth.

I speak from personal experience on that.  I have experienced being very connected in a congregation while other family members were DISCONNECTING. They were being negatively primed by certain church experiences which I didn’t take notice of until it was too late. If you read my “Neil on the Lam” category of posts, you’ll get an idea about those experiences. (http://sundayresources.net/neil/category/lam/)

Unfortunately, older children and young teens are very susceptible to allowing negative experiences with the church to become DETERMINING experiences. More on that someday in another post.

For more on what the brain research is saying to church leaders, go to

http://sundayresources.net/neil/2011/01/12/good-stories-really-do-get-inside-your-head/

http://sundayresources.net/neil/2009/08/17/its-not-hype-the-brain-research-behind-multimedia/

http://sundayresources.net/neil/2010/02/11/reinforcing-peoples-memories-in-preaching/

And The Statistical Benefits of Church Membership…  http://sundaysoftware.com/stats.htm

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Our software teaches Bible stories in an exciting way.
We’re “priming” both their love of scripture, and enjoyment of your church!

Guess what…  The neural activity of the HEARERS started to look like the neural activity of the storyteller.

Even more remarkable, the listener’s brain activity started to LIGHT UP as their anticipation grew during the story. “Key brain regions  lit up before her words even came out, suggesting anticipation of what she would say next.” Said Silbert, it appears that “the more you anticipate someone, the more you’re able to enter their space.”

Of course, those of us who love a good story, intuitively knew about this. What this research does is HIGHLIGHT THE IMPORTANCE of “telling stories” in our teaching and preaching, -rather than lecturing, …because that’s the way God built us, – for story.

Dr. Silberts research helps explain the power of story-telling multimedia, as well.  “Telling the story” is a principle I apply in my software design, as well as, in my sermons and teaching opportunities. (Yet many preachers are ‘boring’ because they just talk, talk talk, –instead of taking us on a journey. Such a waste.)

For example, during the design of our new Faith Through the Roof CD, I created a story video that turns on in the middle of the 3d style game where you are trying to carry the man up on the roof to see Jesus. I also created a video song (a story in lyrics) at the end of the game.  Rather than add more “gamey-ness” at these two critical points in the teaching, I wanted to engage the kid’s brains with story, audio and visuals. I wanted them to sit back from the game and engage at the LISTENING and LOOKING level. So rather than keep having the player carry the man to see Jesus,  Peter takes over the game for about 3 minutes to complete the telling story of the man let down through the roof.  (www.sundaysoftware.com/faith). 

After the man is healed, Jesus calls you to jump down and speak to him. How’s that for anticipation! Games and good software do this. They create a sense of “what’s next!”

The story of the man let down through the roof is a classic example of how JESUS HIMSELF utilized the tool of anticipation with his audience. He sees that the crowd is dismayed at the interuption and idea of forgiving the man’s unforgiveable sins, and then sets them up with anticipation:  “which is easy to say, your sins are forgiven? or Rise Up and Walk?”   You can almost hear the room come to a halt. Then he delivers the punch line: “Rise up and Walk.”

While we were creating the narration and images for the story video that pops up in the game, I decided to add a musical score to the story. MOST good movies and dramas utilize music to set the mood and heighten the listener’s emotional and anticipatory experience. We do that in a lot of our software too.  It’s not filler. It’s about helping the student’s brain get into that memorable focal state. (Doing sound effects in storytelling and preaching can operate the same way.)

In preaching, it means telling more stories, and better stories, in more dramatic fashion (not over-wrought drama, but “well-told” dramatic). 

In our teaching it means reading from the Bible with excitement, rather than flatness, and stopping at key points to ask “What do you think will happen next?”   ie… create anticipation. It means sometimes coming into your classed dressed as a disciple, and having quickie costumes for your readers. It means getting out of your chairs and adding a little acting to the scripture reading with the kids.

When you teach and preach like that, and when you use media that does it too, you’re helping your listeners connect, learn, and remember. 

…And you’re also imitating the Great Teacher himself.

Happy New Year everybody!

<>< Neil