La Belleza Para Las Cenizas Beauty For Ashes

Mandatory Vacation

2010-03-14T18:50:00.003-05:00

Well it's that time again in which I must take a mandatory vacation courtsey of Costa Rica. Don't you like how that sounds? I sure do! I will be heading to Granada, Nicaragua again on Monday and will return on Friday to renew my visa. (I have to leave every 90 days for 72 hours to be legal here.)

Please be in prayer as I am traveling alone. Pray for safety during the bus ride and my stay. Pray also for my health that I won't get sick nor anything from the 100 degrees plus heat. Pray that my time with Jesus, as I am using this time as a personal retreat with Jesus. And please pray that everything will work out with my visa and I will be able to enter Costa Rica without any problems. Thanks so much for your prayers.

Laura - A Life of Ashes Turning into Beauty

2010-02-15T19:13:00.001-06:00

Laura is a very tenderhearted, loving and sweet young lady who just turned 17 today. She has been at Renacer for almost three months and is doing fantastic in the program. She and I have a special relationship. I know you’re not suppose to have favorites but she is one of my favorites. When she sees me she just grabs on for a big hug and gives me a big kiss (which is the normal greeting here.)

Laura comes from a background of drugs, abuse and prostitution which has brought her to us. She found herself, like the rest of our girls afraid, searching for something to fill up that hole in her heart. So therefore she turned to the drugs and street lifestyle but was left empty.

Her grandmother took her to church and gave her that foundation that she needed that has helped to bring her to this moment of change. She also is a Christian and she loves Jesus! Laura impresses me at how many verses she has memorized and her knowledge of the Word. She thanks Jesus daily for bringing her here and giving her the opportunity to work through her life and addictions.

Laura has been taught that one has to be doing all the right things to have Jesus forgive her and to go to heaven. Her biggest fear is that she won’t go to heaven because she may not be doing all the right stuff when He returns. She also finds it hard to forgive herself, less alone accepting that Jesus’ forgiveness applies to her at all times. The beautiful thing is that she wants to learn and wants to accept these things but it’s going to require her to undo some of the teaching she’s grown up with. I just love that she is open to it.

Please pray for Laura as she continues in this process and that she will learn that Jesus’ forgiveness applies to her as well and she can find security in her relationship with Him. She has an amazing future ahead of her that will lead many to Christ. She is a passionate young lady who wants to help teens that are going through what she has gone through and is currently experiencing. Talk about an amazing testimony!

The Holidays

2010-02-06T11:32:00.002-06:00

Okay this is late! But I’m trying to get caught up.

Christmas was very different this year but really sweet. We started the celebration the first weekend in December with a cookie exchange at my friend’s house in Tres Rios (where the Starbuck’s coffee is grown.) That was a fun time to meet other ladies and get some yummy cookies.

The week of Christmas we had a team from Kentucky come and celebrate Christmas with the girls at Renacer. There were 3 families that came and brought gifts for the girls and staff, played games, did crafts, and shared their love for Christ by loving these girls.

The weekend before Christmas, I went with a friend and a tica family out to Santa Anna (its right over one of the mountains about 20 minutes away in a place called The Valley of the Sun.) It was a cold and sprinkle type day in San Jose but just over that mountain the sun was shining and it was perfect weather for the pool. We had a BBQ tico style and spend much of the day there. Then we headed back into the cold and sprinkles of San Jose. We changed out of summer clothes and put on sweaters (should have brought our jackets) and headed to Central (down town) to watch the Christmas Light Parade.

Christmas Eve was a warm one, even at the top of the mountain with the girls. We celebrated Christmas Eve with the girls with a rally. They played in the mud, in water, and whatever else you could think of. It was such a fun time. After work, I went over to a dear friend’s home Marge Long and spent the evening with her family. We played Phase 10 and ate some yummy food.

Christmas Day was a hot one until afternoon. I was a little sad that morning thinking of people at home with a white Christmas, but I was thankful for the families I had here to love on me and include me in with their families. That morning I went over to another friend’s house and spent the morning with their family playing games as well. Then I went back to the Long’s house in the afternoon for dinner, which was so yummy! We even had pumpkin pie, which is a rare thing here to have.

Then New Year’s Eve I was back out in Tres Rios with their family. Tres Rios is located further out in the mountains and there’s a view of a small valley. Here, all of December, the Costa Ricans celebrate with fireworks and New Year’s Eve is without exception. We went outside and watched fireworks going off all around us and in the valley. It was quite incredible. I didn’t know which way to look. They went off for over an hour or so. It was crazy but beautiful! Next time I want a spot overlooking the entire San Jose Valley, now that would be a site to see!

Over all, the holidays were special and sweet. Though, I greatly missed being at home and in the snow. It’s just awesome to see how God provides all we need at all times. I hope all of you had a great holiday season and an awesome year ahead!

Wendy Advances

2010-02-06T11:20:00.001-06:00

(If you haven’t read the story about Wendy yet you can click on the tag below called Wendy to read her story.)

Wendy is the first girl I have told you about (the first of many that you will read about.) I am so pleased to tell you that a week and half ago, Wendy advanced to the next phase of the program, which also means that she changed cabins. What a great success for her! She did this phase in the minimum time that one can. She even passed the most advanced girl in the cabin. (The most advanced in a cabin is the one who has the most time in that cabin, but they advanced by accomplishing their goals for each phase.)

Wendy is the girl there that just makes me so impressed. Every day she looks more and more like a woman, growing in her faith, spending more time laughing and cracking jokes. It’s amazing to watch the transformation that God can do in a life when we allow Him to. I’m so excited to see who she grows into being and even more excited to see her reunite, at the end of the process, with her son and the mom that she be to him.

Praise God for all He does in lives and that He doesn’t leave us in our mess and troubles! He will rescue us! We must cry out to Him and hold on to Him! Thanks for your prayers for Wendy!

Responsibilty and Trust

2010-01-17T17:46:00.002-06:00

(I have been awful with staying on top of my blog and newsletter. To this I apologize. I’m getting a routine set up for doing these things so you can stay on top of what is going on here.)

The past three months have been one of waiting and learning. I knew I would have about a month to watch and learn and then I would start getting to work, however that was not the case. At times, I was thankful for it at other times I was frustrated.

The biggest challenge for me was to understand the girls. Yes, I speak Spanish, but it’s different when you get out of the school setting with teachers who speak clearly and slowly. During my first several weeks, I wondered if I even knew Spanish. The girls not only speak fast and unclear, they speak teenage language and some uneducated language. I love finally being able to understand the girls. There are still a couple of girls I still struggle with understanding because they “eat their words” or mumble. One day at a time.

In the middle of November I was given my first assignment; to come up with four “tallers” or therapeutic workshops over values for the 3rd phase, Deborah. I was a little overwhelmed when I thought I was suppose to do them all in one week. What a misunderstanding. My boss and I had a good laugh at it because it was only maybe one a week. I’m still working through the language.

In December, I was also given the assignment to teach the 4th phase, Tamara, English. This has been such a challenge for me. I’m not too good with teaching another language in another language but thankfully it’s something God can do! I was just told last week that the girls will have to take their high school test over English in 3 months and I need to prepare them for it!!! Now I’m really scared it’s no longer “let’s learn English for fun” but now there’s a big test for them to past! At least there is a book.

During all this free time I have had, I have sat in the therapeutic groups, other tallers, and playing with the girls. This has been such a special time to develop relationships with the girls. With every passing day, those relationships get stronger, and I even have girls who are now coming to talk to me about things going on with them. This to me is the biggest compliment; it shows that they trust me and that’s the root of having a say in someone’s life. So due to these three months of some times painful inactivity work wise, it has been the perfect time for relationship building. I’m now so thankful for those times and praise Jesus for allowing that time.

The end of December, we had a team from Kentucky for a week over Christmas. I got to work with them and translate for them. It was fun to have them up there with us and even having fellow Americans up there with me. I’m so thankful for their blessings to the girls and staff that they brought to us by their presence and work with us.

Now my work has been full speed ahead. The first week of January, I was given the task to develop the interview tool that will be used for the initial interview to develop the treatment plan for the girls. I had only a few days to write it but my boss liked it and I put it into use this past week.

In fact, this past week was very busy for me. On Monday, I taught a Bible study on Jesus feeding the 5000 to the 1st phase, Rut. I then began the interview process with one of the girls, Nataly. I was thankful that she actually speaks English too. So when I was confused, I was able to ask for sure what she meant. On Tuesday, I taught English, which was a little rough that time, and then I finished the interview with Nataly. On Thursday, I taught Deborah on the value of solidarity, then began trying to figure out how to write the report and began writing it, which I finished on Friday. Now that was a challenge, but it appears that my boss was happy and I begin all over tomorrow with a new girl and new lessons.

So here I am busy and getting into the nitty gritty of the work. I’m still unsure at times, how and why God chose me to come here and do this. Yet, I do know I’m thankful and love being here. Thank you for your prayers and support that have me here to do this work. I’m humbled at the thought of it all.

187 Miles in How Many Hours?

2009-12-15T22:18:00.003-06:00

This is a quick note but I made it to Granada, Nicaragua! We left San Jose, Costa Rica at 12:30pm and arrived in Granada at 10pm! 2 1/2 hours were spent at the boarder the other 7 hours of that was straight driving only a grand distance of 187 miles! That´s not even all the way to St. Louis from Springfield! I have some fun stories already, but it´s time to sleep! Thanks for your prayers! Keep praying!

My Handsome Brady

2009-12-14T11:52:00.010-06:00

I can't believe I have not told you earlier about my new addition to life. Brady - my kitty. I did not have any intentions on getting a kitty while here, since giving up Zeus and Aphordite was one of the most gut-renching things I could have done. But God had a different plan.

I really felt like something was missing without having a cat. They just make life better in every way, shape, and form, especially when you live on your own. I would be lying if I didn't play with the idea of getting a cat but I just couldn't do it.

Thankfully I have several friends who do have cats and I get to cat-sit when they are away. Brady was one of them. I always joked with my friends' children that Brady was my cat. Well they ended up having to leave Costa Rica due to a family emergency and Brady needed a home. That is how he became my kitty.

Brady has presented challenges. I feel bad since my place is so tiny and he was used to a big place and could play outside. Nights were rough with Brady and I decided that he would need another home. But that really didn't work out. (Thank goodness!) I had to finally allow him to go outside (which I hate having an outdoor cat.) But it's working and I'm learning to let him have his freedome outside, although it makes him super dirty!

God brought him to me at a time I really needed him and I'm so thankful to have him to come home to. I just now feel bad that I will be leaving him alone for 4 days as I travel. Hopefully he doesn't go too crazy!

Enjoy some more photos of my handsome kitty.

Traveling

2009-12-13T16:48:00.004-06:00

One of the least fun parts of being in Costa Rica is having to leave every 90 days for 3 days to review my tourist visa. For my first year I had a student visa, which meant never having to worry about leaving the country.

Therefore, now I must leave every 90 days, which is up on 29 December. On Tuesday, the 15th, I am heading by bus to Granda, Nicaragua, which is about a 7 hour or longer trip. It depends on how long it takes to cross the boarder, since a lot of Nicaraguans are heading back for Christmas. I am staying at a hostel and will lie out by the pool for several days, making it a personal retreat time with Jesus.

Please be in prayer for my safety and everything with customs and boarder crossing. I have to go by myself, which makes me a little bit nervous, but I have to be legal. Please pray that in my personal retreat time that I will allow God all my heart and let Him continue to do the work He has been doing. Thanks so much for your prayers.

Sorry there won’t be any pictures, although it’s a beautiful and old city. I just don’t know how safe it will be. I’m sure I’ll be back there within the year and hopefully that time I will be able to share pictures with you.

Wendy - At the Beginning of Transformation

2009-12-10T20:31:00.003-06:00

In an earlier blog I wrote about the day when 3 girls ran away and only 1 returned, her name was Wendy. I’d like to share a little more about her with you.

As I mentioned in the previous blog, she lived for quite some time on the streets; sleeping where ever she could, hoping she would get to eat that day, and doing anything and everything to survive and numb her pain. She is only 15 years old and she has a 1 year old who lives with her mother.

Wendy had been there for a month and half before I began to work there. This is her second time at Renacer, as she ran away the first time. I have been told that when Wendy came into the program she had all the behaviors and language from the streets, along with being overly skinny from hunger.

When I began working there, Wendy was still pretty rough looking, had a pretty big attitude and had a strong sexuality about her. Now in just 2 ½ months I’m amazed when I look at Wendy. She has moved into the second phase of the program where they begin to identify problems, strengths, weaknesses, and begin working with more intensity on their process. At this phase they begin to talk about caring for their selves, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Wendy has begun to wear a little make-up from time to time, she does her hair almost every day (even if it’s only pulled back – it’s no longer a huge mess), her clothes are less sexually appealing, and today she looked and even spoke like a young lady. She wears a beautiful smile more often and her laugh can be contagious.

This change is not because she has been told to change. It has come because she has begun seeing value in herself, caring about herself, and even liking herself. The change from the inside out is really what is taking place and it’s incredibly beautiful!

Two weeks ago, after lunch during their short free time, Wendy was lying on the ground reading her Bible out loud. A young, budding lady beginning to seek out God and what He is really can do for her and how much He loves her. A young, budding lady taking her free time to spend time with Jesus to learn about Him. No one told her to read her Bible. No one told her that this is what she needs to do. But she has heard about Jesus every day and she has begun to hear the knocking on her heart from Him.

How beautiful! This moment made my heart soar and sing praises. A hard core street girl’s heart is softening to let in Jesus and change her life for eternity. Not only that, but her heart is also softening to the long, hard, painful and complicated process she is on to live a life without addictions to drugs, alcohol and prostitution.

Oh, how I can’t wait to see what God will do with this young and precious soul over the next year. What a transformation and she’s only begun the transformation process! Please be in prayer for Wendy as she continues to seek out God and what He means to her. Pray for salvation. Pray for her process in recovery. She will be at Renacer for at least 10 months or more.

Rally Day

2009-12-07T18:35:00.001-06:00

Friday was a break from the normal routine of therapy groups, workshops and schedules, it was Rally Day! This was a time for the girls to just teens. We are in the transition to summer (dry season) so there has been sun every day, although chilly in the shade and even in the sun at times. But nothing was going to stop these girls from enjoying the day’s activities to the fullest.

The girls we split into two teams and there were 9 stations they would have to visit. Each station presented a challenge to complete in 10 minutes with the most points. They started with a slip and slide type of soccer game with soap added into the mix of it. The girls attempted to remain on their feet as they tried to get a goal. They were falling all over the place.

The girls had other activities, such as popping water balloons on a line while being blindfolded. Oh did I mention that the needle was fixed to a hat they had to put on their head? There were other water games and some non water games as well.

The best one was the pool. They made a HUGE mud pit and the girls had to crawl, almost swim, under the ropes that hung low to the pit – for 10 minutes! Our mud here is like that of southern Missouri, a red-ish orange-ish color, and only the whites of the girls eyes could be seen. The funnier part was that they still had a couple challenges afterwards. Therefore the mud began drying on the girls and they had a hard time moving after that!

After the girls were de-mudded and cleaned up, we had a nice lunch. It was a fun day for the girls to enjoy and for the staff to play some as well. I wish I had known that this was a day for pictures! Next time I will know!

Frost On Our Windows!

2009-11-17T17:46:00.001-06:00

When coming to Costa Rica I thought I was coming to a tropical country. My first year here, for the most part, I agreed with this theory. However, the past three working days have proven otherwise; at least in the mountains.

Friday was a cold day up in the clouds. I wore a sweater and a sweater jacket and was still cold. Yesterday was the same but today…oh today was a different story! I froze! We all froze! I’m not talking about it being a cold 50 degrees. I’m talking about my toes and my nose were frozen all day! I’ve been down from the mountain for an hour now and my nose still is unthawing!

The issue that we have is that we’re on the top of one of the lower mountains, up in the clouds, and this nasty wind that chills straight to the bone. (I thought I was in Missouri today – especially seeing that there’s a chance of snow showers there.) The other issue that makes it oh so miserable is that we don’t have heat in any building and the outside is very welcomed inside. The only thing that differs from being inside and outside is the wind factor, sometimes the rain as well. However, if it’s a good rain then the roof allows it to rain inside.

Tomorrow is my day off so I will be buying a winter jacket and a scarf (yes you can buy them here). My co-workers tell me that today was an almost normal December day there, only more wind and therefore colder. I kid you not, there was a slight layer of frost that formed on the windows today! So much for tropical!

NEW ADDRESS

2009-11-09T17:55:00.002-06:00

Hello all! I am in the stages of several new blogs coming to you. But I wanted to give you my new address if you so chose to send some snail mail (which I would love). Note that a letter does take an extra stamp or so; check with your post office.

Sunshine Loveland Cristo Para La Ciudad Internacional (or CPCI) Apartado 509-2350 San Francisco de Dos Rios Costa Rica America Central

Time to Start Teaching!

2009-10-27T21:57:00.003-05:00

Today I spoke with Cindy, who is second in command here at Renacer and she is tica, about how I was feeling about the program and the girls. I told her that I was really impressed with the quality and set up of the program and how the girls respond. She asked me with what phases of the program I would really like to work with. I told her I really didn’t have a preference and I believe I could do work well with all the phases.

We also discussed what my role would be, Formacion Cristiana (Christian formation) or Trabajadora social (social worker). I went out on a limb and asked if I would be able to split my time between the two since I would love to do both and feel that I’m qualified to do both.

The result was that I would start with tallers (workshops) from the social worker perspective with the highest two cottages (Deborah and Tamara) and I would do Formacion Cristiana with the first two phases (Rut and Ester). She asked me if I would start by doing 4 tallers next week, one on each of the 4 core things; respect, responsibility, honesty, and acceptance.

As you can imagine I was a bit overwhelmed by this task. So I asked if I could just do 2 and gradually work up to the 4 since it takes a lot more time to prepare in Spanish. She said yes and gave 2 tallers on respect and responsibility, which will be an hour and half each. She also wants me to come up with a sport type activity that combines the two, which also is an hour and half long. I have to have my write ups in on Monday.

Wow! This is really happening! I’m overwhelmed, but excited as well. I’m glad to start my actually work now. It’s time to start planning.

3 Ran Away and 1 Returned

2009-10-26T19:55:00.004-05:00

I planned on writing a very different blog today but I will wait until tomorrow. Instead I will tell you about what happened today at work.

First of all, you must know that I love it up there with the girls. I’m building rapport with the girls and staff members and tomorrow (Tuesday) we will be discussing what my exact responsibilities are going to be.

Second, let me introduce you to three girls that this blog is about. Wendy is about 15 years old and has been in our program for 1 ½ months. Last week she just moved into the second house and phase of the program. Wendy came straight from the streets and had spent a long time there. I was told that everything about her was of street manners and behaviors, but she has changed so much in just the short time she has been here. She and I have connected some and at times she will rush to be the girl who is sitting or standing by me. She has a sweet heart and a very hard exterior.

Shenara is also about 15 years old and she has been in the program for 4 months. She is in the second phase and I believe the second level of it. She is a sweet yet quiet girl. She interacts well with her peers and has come a long way from where she was at. Shenara has a family but I don’t know what her home life is like.

Carolina is 16 years old and has a birthday coming up. Today was her 1 week anniversary. She is a short and quiet girl. Her parents are not involved and she is part of a program called PANI which is what our foster care service program is in the states. She appeared to be making friends and starting to adjust to the program.

So back to today’s events. We had been at work for only about 10 minutes when we looked out the window of the cafeteria and saw Wendy walking up the road to the gate. We got worried that she was going to try to run. I thought it was going to be pretty hard since the place is surrounded by high gates with barbwire and barbwire gates as well. But she climbed right up that thing and struggled a little with the barbwire before she was gone. Staff went after her but she refused to come back and hid.

This sent many of the girls into a panic of anger and sadness. While the more advanced girls (in the program) tried to comfort those who were hurting. It was incredible to see the family life that they have created and how they do try to look out for each other.

After our devotional service, about an hour later, all the girls were doing their daily chores when all of a sudden Shenara was gone. She climbed a barbwire fence and went through a little forest area to the street where we saw her meet up with Wendy and they began walking away.

At that moment Carolina was getting mad at one of the social workers and out of her anger she ran up to the gate, with staff in pursuit. She was screaming and being irrational but couldn’t be talked out of it. She climbed up the gate, with much struggle, and got caught on the barbwire for a few but finally made it over. Staff went out the gate to try to get her in but she refused to and took off down the mountain, trailing close behind the other two.

Once again many of the girls were really upset. While the girls were in groups Wendy and Shenara came back but Shenara would not stay. Wendy reports that she was really scared once she was out there. She knows what the streets are like and didn’t want to go back. She apologized in the group and said she is happy that she is getting her third chance and is committed to change. She didn’t want to go back to that lifestyle and knows she has it well off here at Renacer.

So that was today. Please be praying for Shenara and Carolina as they are out there, who knows where. Pray for safety and that they will find help and not turn back to the lives they came from.

My First Day at Work

2009-10-06T19:24:00.000-05:00

Today was my first day at Renacer, a drug and alcohol rehab center for teen girls 12-18 years old, and it went very well besides a bump here and motion sickness. I can tell that this day was prayed over by so many of you, which I am so grateful for.

Jesus and I has some time last night preparing me for the day ahead. He and I worked through fear, anxiousness and releasing my rights of what I think should take place. Then He brought me to Psalm 96 which speaks of how great our God is and how His name and works are to be proclaimed everywhere and by everyone, even creation. It was an incredible date with Him as He encouraged me only as He can.

I went to bed and woke up without being nervous, which is nothing like me, so it was only a work of God! To God be all the glory! I got to the office at 7:15am where I was suppose to meet the van and others who go up, to the top of the mountain where Renacer is, but no one was there. I knew I was 15 minutes early and thought nothing of it. But when 7:30am came and went and it was approaching 8am I really got worried. (This part made me the most nervous – how do I tell my boss I didn’t come today because the van that takes everyone didn’t come, nor anyone else for that matter.)

A young lady came at 8am, named Pricilla, and I spoke with her. She took care of me, by letting me hang out with her for an hour and half for the van to come back down and get me. I guess there was a miscommunication issue and the driver wasn’t aware that I would be going and everyone was there so he left.

I got up there about 9:45am and met with the psychologist, Cindy – who is second in command, and got the introductory stuff of your first day on the job stuff, except of course in Spanish. I then got to hang out as the girls did dance aerobics, which next time I’ll join them. Raquel and Denna, a couple of the girls, got me out there to teach me some dance moves. Afterwards we had lunch, rice and beans.

Afterwards I was with the Mis responsibildades (My responsibilities) group which is the level 2 group. I sat in with them as they had Informacion Cristiana (Christian Information) or Bible study with a missionary from Cuba name Loida, who has been there for the past 3 years. She works on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Afterwards they had a group with the social worker, Ingrid, about social and personal esteem. Then it was 4pm and head back down, in which I got motion sick going down the winding and bumpy mountain road. Not sure what to do about that.

An answered prayer was that Spanish all day didn’t give me a headache. There was enough little breaks away from having to concentrate that it helped. Now of course this is going to increase my listening skills because if I zone out on another thought just for a moment I’m completely lost. They already talk 100 miles an hour, less alone that I’m not fluent in the language yet. But one day at a time.

It was a good day and I love watching how God provides. I know things are going to look and be different than I thought, but hey that’s okay. I’m just excited to start getting to know the girls and their hearts and allow God to use me however He pleases. I can’t believe it’s already here and I feel so inadequate for such but I do know that my God is more than adequate, in fact He’s everything so as long as I trust Him for the strength and power there’s nothing that He can’t do through me and for me.

YEAH JESUS!

Odd Things of the States

2009-08-28T16:45:00.002-05:00

Well I've been in the States for almost 2 weeks now, man how time flies! My trip here to Missouri end up being quite painful. It's very possible that I dislocated or something like that to my lower rib as I walked onto the first plane in Costa Rica. I wanted to scream and cry the entire day any time I had to move, yawn, or cough. (Thankfully the back is better now.) I ended the day with getting three of my fingers slammed in the car door; they didn't even bruise! Thankfully, so far, that's been the worse of the pain on this trip.

The first week here I stayed hidden at Dallas and Heather's house as I experianced reverse culture shock. I got easily overwhelmed, things were just strange and hearing English all around me and trying to turn off my Spanish.

So what are the things I now see differently in the states?

Wide open spaces and yards - the lack of walls and bars
Road kill everywhere
Learning to let my guard down - not having to assess if someone is a threat to me and not having to watch men over my shoulder when the walk pass - just in case they try to grab me
Feeling like I'm trapped inside due to the lack of public transportation and a car - Man I miss public transportation or just being able to walk to do my errands
The amount of choices we have for one type of product
How we, Americans, live in such excess and believe we have to have it to have a quality life
How wasteful we, Americans, are
Mall walkers - I was completely taken back today when I saw some in the mall today. Really the concept is funny; drive to a mall and then walk around it for how many minutes or hours. (my apologies if you are a mall walker :) )

The things that I have missed that I don't get in Costa Rica

Tooties rolls
Chicken Crispers from Chili's
Fountain Pepsi
Nutter Butters
Olive Garden
The Nature Center
Millie's Chocolate Heaven cake
and of course my friends and LifePoint Church.

A Small Health Concern

2009-08-13T22:22:00.004-05:00

I live in the Valley of San Jose, where 75% of Costa Rica's population lives. It sounds like it's a huge area, but in reality it's not all that huge, especially when the country is only about 500 miles in length and 200 miles in width. I'm surrounded by gorgeous mountains and am lucky to live just about 10 minutes from the base of the southern mountains of this valley.

However with any large city there are added health risks. Those risks are elevated when the area has little, to no, regulations on vehicles; multiple factories; and the burning of coffee fields. One of the risks are developing asthma.

Unfortunately, over the past several months I have begun noticing that it's harder to breath out, especially in the evenings when I start settling down. These times have increased and can occur from only sitting down reading a book to exercising. I have begun experiencing a heaviness in my lungs during these episodes.

Today has been the worse. We did a entire chapel of praise and worship and I was one of the leaders, and also had a solo, however I found it hard to even sing because of the breathing issues.

After school, I asked one of my doctor friends at school about it and he said it's very likely that it could be asthma. But there's no way to know for sure without getting a breathing test.

Please pray that this will not become serious. (I'm hoping that working up on the mountain 5 days a week will help decrease the symptoms, since the air is fresh up there.) Also pray that if I do need to seek medical attention that the Lord will provide the financial means and the right to doctor to go to. Thanks for your prayers.

Just A Few More Days

2009-08-12T17:46:00.003-05:00

It's finally that time, though I truly can't wrap my mind around it yet and probably won't for some time to come, but I'll be back in the states in less than 3 days - Saturday! I'm excited about seeing everyone.

I ask for grace as I adjust to American culture and English. Forgive me ahead of time if I try to kiss you on your cheek when I greet you; throw my toliet paper in the trashcan; start speaking in Spanlish; or just plain weird at times. :)

I'd love to see you so email me at sunshineloveland@gmail.com if you'd like together. Can't wait to be in Missouri very soon!

I Passed!

2009-08-04T19:56:00.002-05:00

It's official, I'm receiving a diploma from the Instituto de Lengua Espanola! With the favor of God, I was able to pass both of my tests!

A year ago my Spanish speaking ability was a Beginner Low; with much studying and the strength of God to go on I am now at an Advance Low. The teacher who gave me my oral exam said with a little more work on my grammar and completed sentences I will quickly and very soon become an Advance Medium! Praise God!

Then there is the big grammar test worth 300 points. I was told that many people do not pass this test (meaning you have to score a 70% or higher), but 75% of our class passed; which is the highest percentage ever! I didn't do as well as I would have liked but I did get a 78%. After talking to some people who are awesome in Spanish and they got low 80% I feel much better.

I'm just so thankful to God for His strength to survive and learn this language. I have really enjoyed learning Spanish with some amazing people. As classes end next week, I'm very sadden to say good-byes but I'm so excited to hear all about what God will be doing all around Latin America through friends that I have cherished so much. I just can't believe the time has come to graduate. Wow!

I Made It!

2009-07-31T21:35:00.002-05:00

I am officially done with my big tests and insane study schedule, but I feel like it paid off. The massive grammar test was easier than I expected. I, along with some others, had some issues with several parts of the test but I don't think it will be that bad.

I am thankful to be done with this part and be able to enjoy the next two weeks as I prepare for all the stuff I'll be doing while I'm back in the states. I'm also thankful that I get to finally rest and relax; and I'm doing it on Isla Tortuga for the day on Saturday.

Isla Tortuga is an island off the Pacific Coast, and some of my friends and I are going. The best part is that this is a gift from some friends who I watched their kids for several days. What a great way to just relax and finally get to breath some fresh, non-city air for the first time in 4 months. Isn't God so great? He knows what we need, exactly when we need it! Yea for God! Thanks for all your prayers!

It's Official

2009-07-30T22:14:00.003-05:00

If you have been following my bolg you know that I have been trying to decide between working at Renacer or La Carpio. It's been a hard decision and many things to think about and pray through.

This week has been a good one with Jesus as we discussed where, when, and what. Yesterday I felt like I had a clear answer after spending time with Him, but I wanted to sleep on it to make sure that in the morning I would have the peace that He provides when it's His will.

This morning I woke up having a great peace and I didn't even have a doubt about where I am to be working. This was the first time in a long time there was no doubt left.

I will be spending at least the next year at Renacer, working with the teen girls there. I'm so excited and have started that process now. They are excited to have me join them. I start 5 Oct. Thanks for praying!

One Down and One to Go

2009-07-30T22:05:00.003-05:00

Today I took my ECO, the oral exam. I wish I could say I did great and did really showed my ability to speak Spanish, however I feel very opposite of that. I know I'm much harder on myself than I should be and therefore my view of what I did is tainted some. However there were parts that I felt like I did well in.

I just wanted to be able to show my true ability. I felt like I got stuck on easy things that I knew but my nerves got a hold of me and I wanted to say things right so I thought too much about it and then that always causes problems. Oh well. I keep reminding myself that no matter what the paper says I'm able to speak Spanish and communicate with those around me. That is what is important, not if I have an advance low as my level.

Please pray for me that I will just focus on God and not focus on my self-serving and prideful side that can come out in times like this. Today I'm struggling with it. I put too much emphasis on a grade and that's not what is important here. So as I had asked God to do several days ago, to break down my pride, He's doing so.

Thank you for your prayers on my tests. One more to go. I'm going to try to give this one completely to the Lord and take my pridefulness out of it.

The Be All and End All Exams

2009-07-29T17:54:00.003-05:00

So the time has finally arrived in which I have not been looking forward to for the past year...the ECO and Gramatica tests. The ECO, which is tomorrow, is a 30 minute oral exam to test my oral proficiency level. Then there's the 3 hour Gramatica test on Friday which covers all of the Spanish grammar that I have learned over the past year! I'm a bit scared. :)

Please pray that I will trust God to help me recall all that I have studied and learned. Also pray that I won't allow my nerves to take over me. Well I'm off to studying some more.

11 Months!

2009-07-22T12:51:00.002-05:00

It seems like it was just a few months ago, yet an eternity ago as the same time, when I began my 4am trip to the Springfield Airport with Andrea and Heather. As we drove, I tried to hold back tears and tried not to think too much. Thankfully Andrea and Heather have a way to make me laugh as we joked about rain being in both countries.

I loaded up my three large suitcases that weighed .01 lb less than the max. weight of 50 lbs. Then I hugged the girls for what seemed like eternity. They told me that a year will go by so fast and Christmas will come even faster. I gave them a sarcastic laugh as I thought it will not go by fast. I hesitated to head to the line to enter the terminal but I had to finally go. (I sure felt bad for the workers when they saw my flood of tears streaming down my face.) I couldn’t quit looking back to Andrea and Heather for that last glimpse before I was gone for a very long time. (Wow I’m tearing up now just remembering this.)

Once I got to the terminal, God took over my thoughts and He and I hung out for the rest of the time. God placed a nice gentleman in the terminal, who sat behind me on the plane, to encourage me. His daughter and son-in-law were in the process of raising support to go overseas as missionaries.

I remember the first time I saw the beautiful shores of Costa Rica from up high. How incredible it was. How beautiful it was. I had to turn to God, as fear swept through me, but then He gave me a beautiful rainbow that hung over the vibrant greens of Costa Rica. Then I was on the ground and began my time here. That was 11 months yesterday!

It’s quite amazing how fast time has flown. I have only three weeks left of school and will begin saying good-byes to some incredible people. At least I have about 13 different countries I can go to now and always have a place to stay. I’m amazed at what God has done in these past 11 months and I look forward to the next 2 years to see what He continues to do. He never seems to stop amazing me. I’m so thankful that He has lead me here.

Reckless Abandon

2009-07-16T15:00:00.003-05:00

Today I spoke in chapel, for the second time. I some how have a way of starting these things off rough. If you read my post on Saca Tus Mascaras you know I lost my contacts and couldn’t read my notes. Today, thankfully it was in English, but I left my notes at home! Come on! But God is so amazing and spoke through me, from my heart.

It was such a God thing today, I truly believe. I shared through my blog from March 31st how terrified I was last time when I spoke (since that was the first time ever I did something like this.) Yet this time, I had only a tiny bit of nervousness before hand but within about 30 seconds I was comfortable (even without my notes) and I enjoyed it. Isn’t God just incredible! I sure love Him!

Over the past few months, I have been trying to work through some of the lies I believe and I really have wanted to run after Christ with total reckless abandon. Yet, I always end up short. I asked Jesus to give me an example of how to live this type of life. Just as good as Jesus is, He did just that.

About a month ago I woke up early and started to do my Bible study. Right there in front of me was the perfect example, the sinful woman who dried her tears off the feet of Jesus with her hair. (Luke 7:36-50) I have always liked this passage and thought it sweet and beautiful but this day God took me so much deeper into the story that caused me to fall in love with this story.

Jesus and I went back in time, and put myself in each of the main roles to try to grasp the feelings, the hurts, the piety, the disgust, the desperation. After many days of mediating on it, reading it and praying about it; this story has taken on a new meaning to me. I want to learn how to see Jesus for who He is, not for what He can give me, in such a way that I abandon all other thoughts of what people think or care about me; as long as I get to sit at His feet and worship Him. To pour myself out to Him so that He can use me as He so desires. To learn that He IS enough for me and I will never need anything else.

So I shared with my fellow classmates (all who are missionaries, learning Spanish for whatever country God is sending to) my journey through these story. I took them back in time with me to imagine who these people were, what their lives were like, and most importantly to see the life of this woman and how Jesus took compassion on her and love for who she was.

I could write and write about this, but I won’t. However, I’m excited to see how God will continue to mold me as I try to seek Him as this sinful woman did, with total reckless abandon.