Your Prescription for Life: Dr. Susan Biali's Blog Journal

Are You a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 00:57:22 +0000

Watching the events over the last week, and learning so much about Michael Jackson’s life has made me reflect a lot about myself and my own life, and I imagine the coverage may have had the same effect on you. I’m struck over and over by the primary message of self-actualization - the importance of living your God-given gifts to the fullest in your lifetime - and the impact that each of us might have on the world if we actually did that. That’s fodder for another post, but at this moment I’d also like to reflect on the frequently discussed contrast between Jackson’s shy, reclusive personality (documented since he was a young child), and his outrageously impressive and even flamboyant ability to perform on and dominate the world stage.

This reminded me that I discovered about a year ago that I fit the personality characteristics of what's offically called a "Highly Sensitive Person" - a person who is vulnerable to being overwhelmed by the chaos and overstimulation (noise, etc.) of normal life, and is frequently misunderstood or mislabeled as being shy or "weird". A whopping 15-20% of the population share the characteristics of an "HSP". To learn more about this common personality/physiologic phenomenon, read my latest blog for PsychologyToday.com here.

Can't Find Your Life's "Purpose"?

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 00:38:43 +0000

Do you worry that you'll never find your life's purpose? Are you afraid that the turns and twists your life has taken have been little more than wasted time? The answer might be just around the corner - or right under your nose.

Learn how to give each unique aspect of you room to breathe - by reading the first post of my new PsychologyToday.com blog: www.tinyurl.com/kjea7w

Ten Secrets to Finding Happiness During the Recession

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 16:36:52 +0000

I love Twitter - not so much for tweeting mundane things about what I'm doing with my time, but for the wealth of information that tweets across my "home page" through the course of the day. Yesterday @cheergiver tweeted a link to the following article from U.S. News & World Report: "10 Secrets to Finding Happiness During the Recession." (By the way, I'd love to "meet" you on twitter - you can find me and follow me at www.twitter.com/drsusanbiali and be sure to say hello!)

I'll give you the link to the article in a moment, but first wanted to summarize and comment on the ten "secrets" for you.

Secret #1: Spend $20 on an EXPERIENCE rather than on an ITEM

I love this one and totally agree! My husband and I have barely made any new purchases in the last while (we're usually not big shoppers, anyway, so not much has changed). However, we do continually look to spend our money on great experiences. A good movie, an inexpensive but delicious dinner out, a small local driving trip to seek out some new kind of adventure. The reason why experiences are better than things is that the pleasure can live on for a long time in the memory of it - if it was really great, you'll enjoy talking about it for your entire lifetime!

Secret #2: Pursue meaningful life goals

I think this is why when I moved to Mexico to pursue my dreams of dancing and writing, it was so easy for me to go from living a "doctor's" lifestyle in a big city, to living an extremely simply life on a tiny budget in a miniscule one room un-air-conditioned apartment (with cockroaches, yuck!). The things I was able to do, like dance all day if I wanted to, were so meaningful that I didn't even give the "discomforts" of my new life a second thought!

Secret #3: Be open and receptive to what's happening right now, in the moment

I totally agree with this. Whenever things start going badly in my life, after the initial frustration I might feel I always ask myself: "Hmmm...I wonder what's going on here? I wonder what this is really about? What gift is riding into my life, on the wings of this 'disaster'?"

Secret #4: Nurture meaningful relationships

Recession or no recession, this is something that's absolutely free and is the number one predictor of health and happiness in the Western World (hint: money is NOT a predictor of happiness, once you get past a certain basic amount of income; in fact, the more money people have, the more likely they are to be less happy)

Secret #5: Recognized your strengths

Tough times are fantastic for discovering just WHAT you're really made of - you might be amazed at how resilient and resourceful you are, and out of necessity you might discover talents that you didn't even know you had!

Secret #6: Count your blessings

I was feeling sorry for myself yesterday, because there have been all kinds of obstacles this week, preventing me from being able to properly work on my book (which is due tomorrow!). Then I watched "Extreme Home Makeover" last night with my husband - when I saw the challenges that that family lived with so cheerfully, believe me I was counting my blessings.

Secret #7: Keep an optimism journal

Write down your dreams - in tough times, it's a great way to remind yourself that "this too shall pass", and that wonderful things still lie ahead.

Secret #8: Seek advice from your neighbor

Though I'm digressing a bit from the article's point about this, I think you should talk and laugh with and spend time with your neighbor, period! The more friendly social contacts we have in our life, the healthier and happier we are (no matter what else is going on).

Secret #9: Get out and sweat

This is so true, in my speaking presentations I often mention the fact that regular exercise has been shown to be AS EFFECTIVE in boosting your mood as taking an anti-depressant. Amazing!

Secret #10: Do unto others

Absolutely - we know that helping others who need it (especially when you feel that your life is going badly) puts things in perspective and gives you a rush of feel-good natural chemicals in your body. Helping others boosts your mood, and boosts your immune system. If you're stuck between jobs, find some time to volunteer - it'll help immensely, and who knows, you might even make a connection with another volunteer who CAN give you a job.

What ways have you discovered, to create happiness in your life under any circumstances? I'd love to hear about it! Just go to the comment section below, and let me know!

If you'd like to read the entire original article, click here

About Dr. Biali

Audiences and clients have described Dr. Susan Biali, an award-winning medical doctor, media wellness expert, author, speaker, life coach and flamenco dancer, as “passionate", "real", and "powerful”. Formerly a sick, depressed Emergency Medicine resident, Dr. Biali took back her own life and health by learning how to balance her life, listen to her body, and create a life truly worth living. For the past four years, Dr. Biali commuted between her professional life in Canada and her passionate life in Los Cabos, Mexico, where she performed as a professional flamenco dancer for celebrities and exclusive audiences. She and her Latin husband, Armando, even taught Pink how to salsa dance! Today, Dr. Biali teaches others how to discover themselves, create vibrant health, and design the life of their dreams. Frequently featured in media across North America, Dr. Biali is the weekly wellness expert for the national television program The Daily, and is currently developing her own television show with a team of producers. She has appeared on MSNBC, The Good Life Network, and in Self, Fitness and Hello! magazines, and was even invited to perform flamenco dance on E! Entertainment Television. Her new book, Your Prescription for Life, will be released by New York's Beaufort Books in January 2010. www.susanbiali.com

Susan Boyle (another Susan B!)-Proof That It's Never Too Late to Dream Your Dream

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 19:51:10 +0000

If you haven’t seen this YouTube clip from Britain’s Got Talent, you have to now: click here to view . A friend emailed it to me yesterday, and I watched it over and over - it made me cry more, every time.

Susan Boyle represents everything that I try to get others to believe in. A 47-year-old woman from a small village in Scotland, she dreamed of a career as a singer since she was 12 years old. I’ve read more about her since I saw her video, and apparently, because of the way that she was treated by others in her life (as demonstrated by Simon’s expressions on-screen), she’d essentially given up, and had even stopped singing in her church choir. She lived alone, with her cat, her immense gift and message of hope hidden from the world, until finally something inside her made her take the big leap: the dream that she dreamed, that never died.

It is never too late. Since I was a little girl, I dreamed about being a dancer. I gave up on that dream when I was around ten years old, when the “grown-ups” convinced me that it was far more practical, and applaudable, to achieve academic success. I started my flamenco dance career at the age of 31, and it took me fantastic places – including other countries – that I had never imagined possible.

When I was dancing in Cabo, I met another flamenco dancer there, dancing professionally with another company. She’d started dancing in her early forties.

I know an engineer who, when he retired, decided to take a course in painting, as it was something he’d always dreamed of learning. He turned out to be so talented that he’s had multiple gallery shows, and his paintings sell for thousands of dollars. How’s that for a retirement plan?

Many of society's most influential writers had their careers take off after their 40’s, or 50’s. That’s not a coincidence.

If you’ve got a dream burning inside of you, it doesn’t matter how silly it may seem, or how impractical. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know anyone else your age who is doing it (doing it at a different age than the norm, or under unusually discouraging circumstances, may in fact make you famous! Look at Susan Boyle’s story). Not that fame is the goal – but in Susan Boyle’s case, I can’t imagine another outcome more thrilling. She deserves it, and the world deserves to witness and celebrate her success. During these times, more than ever, we need to be reminded that it’s what inside, what’s beautiful, what’s glorious and pure, that counts most.

Now get out of your house and take a step towards that dream!

About Dr. Biali

See Yourself: Who You Really Are, and All You Could Be!

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 00:36:34 +0000

As you know, I’ve been working for almost a year as the wellness expert for the national television program The Daily with Mark & Laura-Lynn (www.thedailytv.ca). Host Laura-Lynn Tyler Thompson and I have become great friends, and yesterday had an amazing conversation – both off, and on-camera (at the Fashion vs. Rock Juno Awards After-Party). We talked about our struggles with self-doubt, and how so many people get in their own way, and block themselves, instead of realizing/recognizing everything that they already are, and everything they could be.

Imagine if you could truly see, for a moment: all of your strengths, all of your wonderful qualities, all of your potential, everything that you have inside you to share with the world around you, if you just give it a chance to come out and shine. What if, in that moment, you couldn’t have any doubts, or insecurity, or think a single negative thought about yourself and your worth in the world? What would that feel like? Can you feel it for a moment?

As Laura-Lynn said to me yesterday, that’s how God sees us – all of our beauty, gifts, talents, potential, kindness, love – all that’s good about us, now and in our future. Sure, you might have a lot of things you need to work on (I sure do!), but if you could get past all your doubts and negative self-talk to see the real you at your purest , you would probably be floored. You might not even believe it! But it’s the truth.

Imagine if you knew just what you were capable of, imagine if you actually had an idea of what would happen if you would just: honor that dream you have inside; take the time to nourish that talent; find the courage to go up and talk to that person; or simply love yourself and encourage yourself, no matter what’s gone on in the past.

If we all lived fully present in our potential, believing in the good and beauty we have in us, in so many different forms, to develop and share with the world (whether it’s a talent you develop, or a passion, or even something very simple you’d like to live more of in your life) – we would amaze ourselves, we would live our fullest lives, the world would a completely different place. Or, if not the world, at least your world.

See yourself for who you really are – the very best parts. Celebrate it! And celebrate it in others – be sure to tell them, what you see in them, too.

About Dr. Biali

Don't Give Up Before the Miracle!

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 06:18:13 +0000

Hello from Los Cabos, Mexico – I’m here to do a flamenco show and also to pick up our adopted “rescue” dog, Faro (if you’d like to adopt your own, check out www.humanesocietycabo.com ). I’ve spoken on the radio several times this week about the gifts that can be found in crisis, and how this financial situation, though terrifying for many, actually helps us place more value and focus on the things that count most,. Thankfully, these things that are most important we can always count on, or create, in our lives – things like love, friendship, family, and spiritual faith. After years of negativity I'm now a relentless optimist. Thank goodness, because studies show that optimism results in better physical health and life success, no matter what’s going on around you. You can learn to be more optimistic; read my article about optimism by clicking here.

Anyway, this morning I got an email from a friend forwarding me Robin Sharma’s newsletter, titled “Develop a lust for crisis”. I thought you might find it interesting and uplifting.

Sharma writes:

I get that this title is somewhat controversial but there is a point I'm trying to suggest: really challenging times present really big opportunities. Too many people in business (and within life) duck their heads in the sand when challenges heat up. And yet Carnegie made his fortune in one of the roughest economic climates in history. Hewlett Packard was launched amidst a depression. Many of history's greatest human beings met their defining moments when those around them waved their white flags in surrender. Tough times make great leaders. And wiser human beings.

I'll share with you that I have grown the most from my most painful experiences. It was in moments of crisis that I was introduced to my strength, that I raised my standards and that I shifted from coasting through life to reaching for my highest mountaintop. These moments of economic, environmental and social crises provide you with a very simple choice: to slip into victimhood or to rise up to leadership.

In the world of business and throughout communities across the world, there has never been a better time for you to lead without a title. While those around you might be negative, this is your opportunity to grow into your most positive. While those around you sink into playing small, you can grow into expressing your best. And while so many give up on their dreams, you can reach for the stars. I know that sounds really cheesy. Yet I do believe this is a powerful truth.

I totally agree. I have gone through some very hard times in my life (including near-suicidal depression), and though I would have done anything to get rid of them at the moment, now I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I wouldn’t have the strength of character and survival I have now, nor the “wisdom” I share with others today about life, had I not been pushed to the edge, many times.

There’s no question that times are tough, and that they require us to gather our greatest courage, faith and optimism in the face of crisis. Do all that you can to create something positive out of all of this (if you look for it, you will find it). And as they say in 12-step groups, don’t give up before the miracle: one day you’ll turn a corner, and there it will be.

About Dr. Biali

Audiences and clients have described Dr. Susan Biali, an award-winning medical doctor, media wellness expert, author, life coach and flamenco dancer, as “passionate", "real", and "powerful”. Formerly a sick, depressed Emergency Medicine resident, Dr. Biali took back her own life and health by learning how to balance her life, listen to her body, and create a life truly worth living. For the past four years, Dr. Biali commuted between her professional life in Canada and her passionate life in Los Cabos, Mexico, where she performed as a professional flamenco dancer for celebrities and exclusive audiences. She and her Latin husband, Armando, even taught Pink how to salsa dance! Today, Dr. Biali teaches others how to discover themselves, create vibrant health, and design the life of their dreams. Frequently featured in media across North America, Dr. Biali is the weekly wellness expert for the national television program The Daily, and is currently developing her own television show with a team of producers. She has appeared on MSNBC, The Good Life Network, and in Self, Fitness and Hello! magazines, and was even invited to perform flamenco dance on E! Entertainment Television.

Watch for her upcoming book: “Your Prescription for Life: 7 Steps to Extraordinary Health & Happiness” (Beaufort Books, NYC, January 2010). www.susanbiali.com

Has It Been Too Long Since You Relaxed?

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:47:37 +0000

I borrowed that question from Dr. Phil – I just came across his list of ten questions to ask yourself in 2009, in the January issue of O magazine ( which I’ve finally gotten around to reading). I found myself really impressed by the way his questions were making me reflect on my life. I'm a life coach and think about these things all the time, so it's not often that something comes along that surprises me, especially if it's so simple on the surface.

His question about relaxing sounds pretty general, but the specifics that he mentioned pushed some buttons in me –

He writes this:

“People who are unhappy in their lives rarely take a deep breath. They don’t sleep well, don’t eat right, and carry tension in their bodies all the time. If you’re overweight or feeling burdened by endless stress, your body is telling you something. It’s time to start listening”.

I read this just now, while on a business trip to Edmonton, Canada. I’m getting interviewed by the three main TV network affiliates here, and in between shoots was looking forward to catching up on some extra work in a deliciously quiet hotel room (with plenty of long baths thrown in). I also went for a long walk to the river – whenever I travel for business, I try to get plenty of exercise, and take a long walk outside whenever I can (the hotel gym is second choice, but is a must if I don’t make it outside). Do you take the time to get active when you travel? It makes a huge difference, and you'll find you never "get sick from planes" like everyone else seems to.

Anyway, I digress. My walk was nice, but when I got back to my room I went straight back to work. After a while, I started to get a headache, my back began to ache, and I wondered if I was starting to get sick. I’d seen a Starbucks downstairs, and ran down to get some fruit blend juices and a granola, to see if that would make me feel better. It did, but I also confessed to myself at that moment that I knew what I really needed - I needed to rest. Prepping for the TV shows, and doing them, is an extra stress on top of my usual workday, so it was a mistake to try to do it all.

Even though I lead a “balanced” life, with work, dancing, writing, time for (some) friends and family, exercise, good food and usually enough sleep, I don’t stop and just rest often enough. I'm happy with my life - but if I relaxed more, as Dr. Phil suggests, I'm sure I'd be happier. Much much happier, even.

Just now, when I stopped to drink my juice and lazily flip through the magazine, it felt so good. When’s the last time that you really stopped and rested – I mean really stopped. Stopped so that your whole body takes a big sigh, and says thank you.

Find time to let your body get that relaxed and happy, every day, if you can. I’m going to go back again, right now, for some more. My work can wait until tomorrow – my body wants to relax, now.

Listen to your body when it says it wants to slow down. It’ll protect you from illness, and recharge you. What things do you find most effectively relaxing, for you? Let me know by writing in a comment below, and inspire us all!

About Dr. Biali

Watch for her upcoming book: “Your Prescription for Life: 7 Steps to Extraordinary Health & Happiness” (Beaufort Books, NYC, January 2010). www.susanbiali.com

How to Live Fearlessly in 2009

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:53:18 +0000

What!? Couldn’t I pick a more realistic topic, you might ask? That title isn’t mine, actually – it was created by Arizona’s “fearless soul” coach Carey Powell (www.fearlesscoaching.net), who invited me to be one of the seven women that she interviewed for her new “Fearless Living” Audio Series. Last night we did a teleconference, in which we talked about the different aspects of living a fearless life. So many people called in that the lines jammed and there were all kinds of technical difficulties – further proof that there are so many people out there right now who are terrified by what’s happening in their lives, or the world around them, and want to find a way to live fearlessly, in the midst of all.

So is it possible to maintain a fearless attitude? Would that just be denial?

We can’t necessarily choose what’s going on around us, or in our lives, but we can choose how we receive it or deal with it.

When I woke up this morning, I actually felt worse than I have in a long time. During the call, Carey read out a number of emails that she’d received prior to the teleseminar. One woman had lost her husband, another had lost her house, another had lost her job, and one woman doubted that she would ever find her purpose in this lifetime. Despite the “fearless” topic of the evening, after reflecting upon all that fear, and such sobering realities, I felt more discouraged about life than I usually do – I’m usually relentlessly optimistic, and haven’t really been letting all the hype affect me, though my own life has been affected by what’s been going on.

I’ve been so optimistic, in fact, that for extended periods I actually forget that this has affected me, too, and think of it more as a problem “out there”. I haven’t really let it take hold inside me, and that’s a very good thing. I said a prayer about it all this morning, and then found an email when I opened up my computer.

It was from Christine Zimmerman (the wife of inspirational business teacher Dr. Alan Zimmerman www.drzimmerman.com ) which had a quote from the Bible in it, from Colossians chapter three. Here are some excerpted phrases from it:

“Set your sights on the realities of heaven…let heaven fill your thoughts… Do not think only about things down here on earth...”

You may not be of the same religious or spiritual orientation that I am, but chances are that you believe in God, or a “higher power”. When we put ourselves in a spiritual frame of mind, we reach that place of peace where we know that there’s a bigger picture, that all will be well no matter what. That as difficult it can be, and as scary as it can be, when things seem to be going out of control on this earth, we’re actually so much more than that - we’re so much more than what’s happening in our superficial earthly lives.

And that makes us safe, in the midst of it all, no matter what’s happening. When we forget that, when we leave that place of peace, and let our minds and hearts connect again with everything that’s going on in the world, we start to get scared again.

Last night, we discussed several useful and inspirational tips that help you get out of the fear that’s weighing so many of us down, and how to be freed to live fearlessly.

My tip discussed my experience that fear, rather something to be alarmed about, rather than something that signals impending danger and doom, is usually just an indicator that we’ve stepped into the unfamiliar, that we don’t know what the outcome will be. The unfamiliar is actually a beautiful place to be – you’re out of your comfort zone, and that means that you can make new choices and go in a new direction. Almost always, you end up better off than you were before, even though you may have to go through tough times to get there. In the end, you’ll always find a gift in the experience – if you make the effort to look for it.

The fear is part of being human and living on this earth. The gift that inevitably comes out of scary circumstances can be likened to a piece of heaven. Which would you rather focus on?

If you’re interested in knowing more about the Fearless Living Audio Series (in which Carey interviews 7 successful women who have conquered fear in many areas of their lives – including me) click on this link.

No matter what’s going on, make a promise to yourself to hold your head up high, trust in the bigger picture, and don’t the fear drag you down or hold you back.

If you’ve managed to find the “silver lining” in any difficult or scary things in your life, leave a comment about it, and let us all know! Tell us how you did it!

About Dr. Biali

Watch for her upcoming book: “Your Prescription for Life: 7 Steps to Extraordinary Health & Happiness” (Beaufort Books, NYC, January 2010). www.susanbiali.com

Are you - or would you like to be - a powerful woman?

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 01:50:40 +0000

A friend mentioned to me the other day that someone had brought my name up, in conversation, and had commented that I was a “powerful” woman. When she told me that, it caught me off guard. I really didn’t know what to say. I laughed and made a quick joke, but sat thinking about it, afterwards. Powerful? Inspirational, or “powerfully candid” maybe (I’ve gotten used to those), but I’ve never really considered myself to be powerful.

I was still thinking about it, yesterday, when someone from Power Women Magazine invited me to connect with them on Linked In (FYI I’m totally open to invitations on Linked In – if you’re not in my network already, I’d love it if you would invite me into yours! You can find my profile at http://www.linkedin.com/in/susanbiali). Intrigued by the coincidence, I checked out their website, www.thepowerwomenmagazine.co.cc, and discovered a fabulous article which perfectly and powerfully described eight essential qualities (and behaviors) which will give a woman her greatest power.

Here are the eight qualities (in bold), with my own comments underneath:

1) Gives it all she’s got
How do you live your life? Are you going for your dreams, or what you believe in, or care most about, with everything you’ve got? At the end of the day, will you be able to rest, peaceful and assured, because you’ve done everything that you can?

2) Never gives up
When you try something new, do you turn around and run at the first obstacle or failure? Or do you know, as all powerful people do, that truly worthwhile success always lies on the other sides of all kinds of difficulties and roadblocks. As they say in the 12 step groups: “Don’t give up before the miracle.” You never know when it’s waiting, just around the corner.

3) Speaks her mind
Do you say what you really think? Do you comment on what you see around you, even if others might not like to hear it? Do you speak up for yourself? This is one can be the toughest of all.

4) Respects herself and others
The “power women” article points out that a powerful woman continually strives to respect herself, and doesn’t betray her beliefs or best interests in order to please others. That said, a powerful woman also always deeply respects the rights and opinions of others, even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with them.

5) Stands up for what she believes in
If other people don’t agree with your beliefs, do you maintain your position, or do you back down to keep the peace? Certainly there are times when we must pick our battles – some simply aren’t worth it, or really aren’t a big deal - but when it comes down to it, being authentic and an example to others (as powerful women are) can make you a light in a dark world, no matter what others may think.

6) Inspires herself and others
The last five points, if you live them, will naturally cause you to inspire others to be their best selves, too. Perhaps that’s what so powerful about a powerful woman – her power is both inspiring and contagious. Use everything that you’ll learned and experienced, particularly the tough stuff, to lift others up and encourage them to go higher.

7) Shares her power willingly
This is a lesson I began to learn last year. Everywhere I turned, I suddenly found myself surrounded by groups of powerful women (women far more powerful than I), and noticed one thing that they all seemed to be doing: each was constantly trying to discover how she might be of service to others. Powerful women share. This one doesn’t come to me that easily, but since I’ve started making it a focus, I can’t believe the amazing things that have happened in my life.

8) Makes a difference in the lives of others
Ah – there it is. If you understand the power of a woman that way, you can see that you don’t need to be in the media, or in politics, or another sphere of typical “influence” to be powerful. Even if the only people whose lives you touch are your own children, you are still a powerful woman. Particularly if you teach your children by your actions and example, as described in the first seven qualities listed. On top of that, the effects of your loving, powerful example may reverberate for generations.

Susan Biali, MD is an internationally recognized wellness expert, life coach, speaker, author and flamenco dancer, dedicated to helping people balance their lives and live their dreams. Dr. Biali has appeared on MSNBC and The Good Life Network, as well as in Self, Fitness, and Hello! magazines, and is the medical commentator for the Canadian national television program The Daily. She speaks nationally and internationally, and regularly appears in newspaper, radio, television and internet media across North America. Dr. Biali, who has an additional degree in Dietetics (nutrition), is also an expert for HealthyCanada.com. She is the author of the upcoming book Your Prescription for Life! Seven Steps to Extraordinary Health& Happiness. www.susanbiali.com

Want to Lose Weight? Just Go to Bed Earlier

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 16:57:54 +0000

When it comes to losing weight, most people find it hard to change the eating (and exercise) behaviors that got them into trouble in the first place.

Did you know that the amount that you sleep can have a direct effect on whether you're a healthy weight, or significantly overweight? Do you know the miminum hours of sleep that you need to give yourself the best chance at succeeding with your (ideally healthy and enjoyable, please!) weight loss program?

According to an article by sleep expert Dr. Charles L. Samuels, which I clipped a while ago from the Canadian Journal of Diagnosis (I've been meaning to share this with you for quite some time), we humans used to sleep an average of 9 hours a night in the early 1900's. Today, the average night's sleep is only 7 hours a night. I've often wondered why I seem to need 8-9 hours, ideally - looks like it might actually be normal for our bodies.

According to Dr. Samuels, we need 7-8 hours just to be able to function "normally" in the daytime. Oops! I only got 6 last night; I stayed up late because I'd gotten 9 hours the night before. I'm a night owl, and seem to think that after a major sleep-a-thon I can get away with less the next night, but I'm actually really sabotaging my health, mood and productivity by doing that.

Did you know that being a "night owl" can actually make you more likely to suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder? And if you develop SAD, you will likely experience food cravings for carbohydrates that can actually account for the phenomenon of "winter weight gain". Yikes! So, if you're a night owl, going to bed earlier will not only help protect your good mood in winter, but will also protect you from gaining those extra pounds.

Also, chronically limiting your sleep is directly linked to weight gain. If you only sleep 6 hours a night, you're almost 25% more likely to be obese (not just overweight, but obese) than someone who's getting 8 hours a night. Which person do you want to be?

Dr. Samuels gave some tips for peple struggling with losing weight:

get 7-8 hours of sleep every night, and catch up on "sleep debt" on the weekends
eat a big breakfast, eat a lesser lunch, and eat lightly at dinner. Eat more protein with breakfast, and continue to make sure you get enough protein throughout the day, as it will help suppress your appetite
walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week

Does that sound easy or what? Much more enjoyable (and sustainable) than some of those crazy, complex diet plans that are out there. Now stop reading this, and get to bed!

How to Pull Yourself out of a Funk

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:09:21 +0000

Last night on TV, I saw a very successful speaker, who regularly talks to groups of women of 10,000 or more, say that she’s disturbed by how much depression she sees around her, these days. Those of you who already know me know that I struggled with it for years. It rarely happens to me at all, anymore, because I’ve learned how to protect myself from that dark place, and I’ve also learned how to “pull myself out of a funk”. We don’t all necessarily get clinically depressed (thank God), but most people do go through times, particularly in the winter, when they don’t feel as good about life, and themselves, as they’d like to.

Today, I’m going to share with you my tips for lifting your mind, and body, out of a funky mood. You can either use these to: 1) protect a positive mental state, and prevent yourself from sliding into negative mood states; or 2) use them to pull yourself out of a bad mood when you’re already there.

Here they are:

1) Get moving. Studies have shown that regular exercise can have the same boosting effect on your mood as taking an antidepressant pill every day – and the side effects are much, much better! To get regular exercise, all you really have to do is walk. Walk to work, walk to your errands, go out for a stroll by yourself, with a friend or your other half. You’ll be amazed at how much it helps, even if it’s the last thing you feel like doing. Just do it!

2) Eat lots of healthy food, regularly throughout the day. Don’t go too long without eating, as this will make you grumpy (in my case, I get downright mean or weepy), and stay away from sugary junk foods that shoot up your blood sugar and then make it crash, taking your mood along with it.

3) Get enough sleep. Research shows over and over that not getting enough sleep can have a dramatic effect on your mood and your ability to cope with stress in your life

4) Spend time with friends or people who make you laugh. I had dental work done yesterday, and was feeling sore and grumpy last night. I didn’t want to do anything but lie on the couch. If you’d asked me, I’d have said it would be impossible to feel good last night. But then a stand-up comedy show came on TV, I called my husband over to watch it with me, and within minutes we were screaming with laughter. Lots of times, a grumpy or moody, “I don’t want to do anything” state is only that – a temporary state.

5) Put on some music that you love. It’s pretty hard to stay moody when something you love love love is playing in the background. Pay attention to the music, friends, TV shows and activities that give you energy and make you feel fun and alive, and use them as your secret weapons when you’re feeling down.

6) Sit up straight. I learned this one from Tony Robbins, years ago. When we’re feeling blue or down, we tend to slouch and shuffle around, looking mopey. Stand up straight, walk tall and with purpose, remember to breathe, and most of all, smile, even if you don’t feel like it. You can’t help but feel better – try it!

7) Avoid alcohol – though it gives you a temporary high, it’s actually a mood depressant, and a powerful one, at that.

8) Get out in the sun, whenever it comes out! This is a major one for me, as I’m very sensitive to SAD, or seasonal affective disorder. Our brains need daylight, and sunlight, to keep producing those feel-good neurotransmitters. When the sun comes out, go out for a walk – between the sunlight and the act of walking, it’s a one-two power punch for a good mood!

If you do all of these things, I guarantee you that you’ll feel better, and be far less likely to get “down”. An important note, though: If you’ve been feeling down for a while, and particularly if you’ve been having suicidal thoughts, you need to go get help, or at least an opinion, from a professional, in addition to following these tips.

Now forget that funk - put that funky music on, instead, and dance!

Dr. Susan Biali, MD is an internationally recognized wellness expert, life coach, author, speaker and flamenco dancer, dedicated to helping people live their dreams and create better balance, health and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Biali speaks internationally, and her opinions and advice on health and life appear regularly in print, radio, and television media across North America. An expert for HealthyCanada.com and for the nationally televised program The Daily, she writes two nationally published columns on wellness and life balance. Dr.Biali is the author of the upcoming book Your Prescription for Life! Seven Steps to Extraordinary Health & Happiness. www.susanbiali.com

How to Stop Overeating: Look Good, Feel Better, Forever!

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 02:04:24 +0000

What’s your relationship with food like? From the time I was around ten years old, and my aunt invited me to try my first “diet” with her (eating only grapes – we lasted around six hours), until just a few years ago, I was obsessed with food and the way that I looked. Even though most of that time I actually looked pretty good, I didn't think I would ever be "good enough".

I was recently interviewed about this issue as a panel expert on the national show The Daily: Weekend Edition with Todd Cantelon (www.thedailyweekend.ca) , and was floored when my beautiful friend (and co-producer of my upcoming show), Stephanie, commented on-air that she’s felt awful about her body her entire life, even in her twenties, when she performed as a (no-doubt-drop-dead-gorgeous) go-go dancer! That illustrated to me, yet again, that the way we feel about our bodies, and ourselves, is an internal phenomenon that often has nothing to do with reality, or the wonderful version of “you” that so many other people see and appreciate.

The same goes for dieting. On the outside, we may try out some new weight loss fad, or promise ourselves that we’re going to stick to a new “diet”, but our enthusiasm disappears after a few days and we find ourselves right back in old habits. We fail because we don’t understand what’s really going on inside of us. We don’t understand our relationship to food, our ideas about weight loss, and why we can’t succeed with this goal. Most diet programs don’t properly address our behaviors and beliefs around food, and they also aren’t designed to be sustained for life.

From the age of ten through twenty, I dieted obsessively. At its worst, I counted calories all day and panicked if I couldn’t find a restaurant option that was “low fat”. I hit bottom the day I bought a sandwich at the deli at work. They didn’t have my usual whole wheat, and had to use multi-grain bread with sunflower seeds. I was so worried about the extra fat in the seeds, that I hid myself in a bathroom stall, and picked them out, one by one.

Shortly after, my boyfriend (of two weeks) told me that he’d break up with me if I didn’t get some help. He gave me the card of the dietitian that his sister, who suffered from anorexia, had been seeing. I went to see her, and he broke up with me anyway! But I’m convinced that he was sent into my life, just to give me that card.

The dietitian informed me that at the rate that I was exercising (long daily workouts), and given the minimal calories I was eating, I was sure to be hugely suppressing my metabolism , and actually making it more likely that I would gain weight, not lose it. She made me a bet that I will never forget:

“I want you to leave my office today, and eat whatever you want, whenever you want, but follow one rule. If you follow this, I bet you that you will not gain a pound and you will equalize out to your perfect weight. This is the rule: only eat when you’re truly hungry, and stop when you’re full”.

I only saw her one more time – to tell her that she’d been right. Today, I actually weigh slightly less than I did back then, seventeen years ago - and I only weigh myself approximately once every three to five years! I don't even own a scale.

Every now and then I “forget”, or more accurately, ignore, her rule (for example, on vacation in Italy), and my clothes start to get tight. Whenever I notice that, I start following the rule again, and go for a bit longer walks. That’s it, works like a charm.

I had to use the rule as a defense this Christmas season, in the face of over-indulgent holiday celebrations with Armando’s family in Mexico. These days, I don’t worry much about weight anymore, but I do know from multiple similar experiences that eating too much rich food, particularly white-flour-based foods, cheese, and chocolate, makes my face horribly puffy, ages me more quickly, makes me sluggish and irritable, and causes my skin to break out. Yet it still can be so hard to resist, or stop!

So many times in the past few weeks I would be sitting at a post-dinner table, feeling full and happy, but staring down a banquet of desserts and goodies. I would be so tempted, almost to the point of pain, to fill my plate with several of them and then go back for seconds. On multiple occasions, it helped so much to just stop, and consult my tummy. Was there really room for more? Was I truly still hungry? Each time, the honest answer was no. I wasn’t hungry, I was just feeling tempted, and wanted to greedily push my body over into the “totally stuffed” mode.

This recognizing of the true already-full state of my stomach helped me put on the brakes, and enabled me to wake up guilt-free the following morning, looking fresh and feeling great. Don’t get me wrong, I failed a few times, and the way I looked and felt after reminded me why the rule is such a great one!

The “eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full” rule is about consulting your tummy to see if you’re truly hungry, or if there’s truly room for more. Another essential tool to reaching and maintaining a healthy weight is to be in touch with your reasons for wanting to eat. Like so many people, and maybe like you, I used to use food compulsively to make myself feel good. Why not? It did feel absolutely fantastic whenever I was sitting down with a fork, in front of a giant piece of chocolate cake. The problem was what came after, when the cake was gone. Guilt, shame, regret, sluggishness, allergies and other health problems – the list goes on.

There’s a funny thing about addictive, yummy foods, which is very similar to what alcoholics and drug addicts experience. When I crave something, my brain and body trick me by saying “come on, just this once”. Like this: “Why don’t you get into your car and drive to the grocery store and buy yourself a big tub of rocky road ice cream? It will feel so great. Come on, let’s go – we’ll do it JUST THIS ONCE, you really need it, today. You'll feel so much better, and then we get back to our plans for healthy eating.”

That’s the lie: "just this once". Because it doesn’t work that way. When you indulge yourself with foods that you crave, it’s almost guaranteed that your body and mind will crave them again, sooner and more forcefully than ever, often right the next day. Or, later that same day! The more junk food, or comfort food, you give your body, the more your body emotionally and physically wants it and will ask you for it again. This is very different from hunger.

I'm not saying that you don't ever give yourself comfort food, but overall I've found it far more helpful to find non-addictive, healthier foods that I love and make me feel great, than to "treat" myself to the junk foods that I know will get me into trouble, the things that I "can't just have one" of. There's a sweet granola bar that I really enjoy, for example, but I'm done after just one. A package of chocolate chip cookies? I'd eat all of them in under an hour, and probably lick the bag. I know myself. Know yourself, and admit your weak spots: you'll find it helps, so much.

Pay attention to the difference between the feeling of cravings (from boredom, stress, sadness, habit, comfort, etc.) and hunger. There’s a huge difference. Notice how no matter how much you promise yourself “just this once”, the craving soon comes right back.

The only way to make cravings go away is to interrupt them and shut them down by recognizing them as self-sabotaging feelings and impulses that don’t serve you at all. Do something else instead (call a friend, go for a walk, do something on your to-do list), and the craving will pass. Wait until you’re truly hungry to eat something.

You'll notice that the cravings get less and less, and when you do fail and indulge them (we all do), you will see how truly “empty” that promise of feeling good after turns out to be. You’ll also notice that the cravings come back harder, and with a vengeance.

I’ve found that this understanding of what’s going on for me physically and mentally has made all the difference in the world. I can’t let my body trick me anymore, as I know what it’s up to. I no longer feel that I can’t control my impulses and behavior around food. It’s a wonderful freedom, though it’s not always easy. The results, however, are fantastic, particularly when I see how so many other people suffer with their weight and food.

If you'd like to share with me your struggles and experiences with food and weight, put a comment in below and I will happily respond, I'd love to hear from you.

Make this the year you stop “battling” with food and your weight, and discover a joyful relationship instead, one in which you discover that eating healthy, and eating when you’re truly hungry, makes for a life full of energy and joy and a happier, younger-looking you!

Dr. Susan Biali, MD is an internationally recognized wellness expert, life coach, author, speaker and flamenco dancer, dedicated to helping people live their dreams and create better balance, health and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Biali speaks internationally, and her opinions and advice on health and life appear regularly in print, radio, and television media across North America. An expert for HealthyCanada.com and HealthyOntario.com, she writes three nationally published columns on wellness, nutrition and life balance. Dr.Biali is the author of the upcoming book Your Prescription for Life! Seven Steps to Extraordinary Health & Happiness. www.susanbiali.com

5 Reasons Why You Should Still Go to the Spa (even in tough times!)

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:54:06 +0000

A while ago, as I was getting a facial treatment at my favourite local spa, my aesthetician told me that spas across the city were experiencing a slump in business. Apparently, when things get “tough”, people see something like going to the spa as an extra, inessential splurge. Than, the other day, on the show The Daily, I was asked to provide on-air “ammunition” for wives who want to convince their husbands that they still need to go to the spa.

What I discovered surprised me – in addition to helping you convince your significant other, this should convince you that taking care of yourself in this way is truly essential to your health and success!

Five health benefits of going to the spa (in this case, for a massage):

1) It reduces stress hormone levels

Several studies have shown that massage reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which among many other benefits helps slow your heart rate, and brings your blood pressure down.

2) It boosts your immunity

By reducing stress and stress hormones, massage boosts the levels of "natural killer cells" in your body, which are your first defense against invaders. Massage has been shown to even boost immunity in people with severely decreased immune systems, such as patients with breast cancer.

3) It’s a great pain reliever

Whether you’ve got muscular pain, chronic headaches or a migraine, or even labor pains (!), massage has been shown to significantly decrease and relieve pain. I woke up with a headache three days in a row last week, a sign that I was trying to do too much in too little time. A one hour massage (and three hour visit to the spa, with a lot of that time spent relaxing in the whirlpool), cured the headaches completely!

4) It boosts your mood

As if a wonderful, healing, relaxing visit to a spa wasn’t enough (I already feel better, just walking in the door), treatments such as massage increase your brain’s level of feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin.

5) It relieves PMS symptoms!

A small study of a group of women with severe PMS found that massage reduced a variety of symptoms such as pain, water retention, and mood swings. Now there’s some ammunition that might seriously convince your husband or partner of the necessity of your spa visit – maybe you can even get them to pay for it! Imagine how much happier a place this world would be, if all women were treated to a spa visit a minimum of once a month?

Now, I know I’ve been talking mostly about the benefits of massage, but just think about it – a pedicure usually comes with an brief massage, as does a facial, and even some manicures come with mini hand and arm massages. In fact, when they’re doing the massage part of your pedicure, you could say: “you know, I’m feeling like I might be coming down with something, and need to boost my natural killer cells – could you do that a little bit longer?” Who would say no?

Dr. Susan Biali, MD is an internationally recognized wellness expert, life coach, speaker and writer, dedicated to helping people live their dreams and create better balance, health and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Biali speaks internationally, and her opinions and advice on health and life appear regularly in print, radio, and television media across North America. An expert for HealthyCanada.com and HealthyOntario.com, she writes three nationally published columns on wellness, nutrition and life balance. Dr.Biali is the author of the upcoming book Your Prescription for Life! Seven Steps to Extraordinary Health & Happiness. www.susanbiali.com

Too Much To Do? How To Find Time For What Counts Most

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:37:05 +0000

Ever since I heard about the book “The 4-Hour Workweek”, by Timothy Ferriss, I knew it was for me. I was even more sure when I saw the cover art: a hammock slung between two palm trees. I’ve already sort of done this, as I managed to simultaneously live in Mexico and earn income in Canada, by writing articles, coaching, and commuting back and forth to work shifts in medical clinics up north. However, as I got more successful, life in both countries got busier and busier – lately, I’ve found that here in Mexico I spend so much time in front of my computer, that I barely see the beach and palm trees anymore. Is your life much busier than you’d like it to be? Do you wish you had more time for the things that really count, or that you had the time to be able to start moving your life in a new direction? Read on…

Reading this book has changed my life forever. Can you imagine that this guy manages to run all his businesses by only checking email (I think it was) once a week?? I’m a slave to email, I start with email first thing in the morning, and then it kind of drags me through the day, like a hostage. By the end of the day, it’s very rare that I’ve accomplished anything of major significance. Other than perhaps answering a record number of emails.

I’ve had a hard time keeping my blog up to date, as it tends to be a “non-urgent” type of priority, and gets shoved out by all the “urgent” emails. According to Ferris, instead of starting our day with email, we should start removing ourselves from its claws by scheduling “email viewings” twice a day, at 12 and 4 pm (with the goal of eventually viewing it much less frequently still).

And, any time you’re doing something, you should ask yourself this: “AM I BEING PRODUCTIVE, OR JUST ACTIVE?” Another way he phrases this is this: “AM I INVENTING THINGS TO DO TO AVOID THE IMPORTANT?”

He says that each day, we should have one or two major things (which are important to our future, and the life that we are creating; they may be things that produce income, or move us towards a dream) that we need to accomplish, each day. And, ideally, we should accomplish them by 11 am, so we don’t try to procrastinate them by announcing “uh oh, time for lunch!” We need to focus on these tasks, with absolutely no interruptions (take the beeping noise off your inbox – I’m notorious for checking email every few minutes, when I’m working on another project).

Today, my goal was to 1) finish reviewing and adding comments to my book contract, and send it off to my publisher and 2) to write this blog! I have never, ever, written a blog in the middle of the day. Which is ridiculous, as my blog is actually a very important part of what I do, it’s such a great way to keep in touch with you – and I’ve been failing you!

It’s 11:14 am, and I will now have accomplished both. And haven’t checked my email (ok, I peeked, but only opened and answered a couple! That’s major progress!).

What things do you do all day that keep you busy, and make you feel like life is screaming past you like a bullet train? What can you stop doing? What should you really be doing, instead? I’m so excited by this, rather than having this weight on my shoulder about the important things I should be doing, I WILL be doing them! What a relief!

Dr. Susan Biali, MD is an internationally recognized wellness expert, life coach, speaker, author and flamenco dancer, dedicated to helping people live their dreams and create better balance, health and satisfaction in their lives. Dr. Biali speaks internationally, and her opinions and advice on health and life appear regularly in print, radio, and television media across North America. An expert for HealthyCanada.com and HealthyOntario.com, she writes three nationally published columns on wellness, nutrition and life balance. Dr.Biali is the author of the upcoming book Your Prescription for Life! Seven Steps to Extraordinary Health & Happiness. www.susanbiali.com

Down and Out? Wait for the Surprise!

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 00:51:07 +0000

This past weekend I was honored to be invited to listen to Laura Lynn Tyler Thompson, my good friend who also happens to be the host of The Daily (the program on VisionTV and JoyTV, that I appear on every Wednesday), speak about the amazing story of her life.

Her story changed the way that I see the tough times in my life, and maybe it will do the same for you, too.

The theme of her talk was this: “God loves to surprise us!”

She told the story of how one night, back in the days when she was an exhausted, frustrated mother and housewife, she was watching TV, and suddenly was seized by inspiration: “I’m going to be on TV! That’s what I’m meant to do with my life!” She said that she knew it, more than she’s known anything else in her life. She didn’t have any experience in this industry at all, but she still knew, somehow, that it was possible.

Have you ever had that kind of experience? Did you dismiss it as silly? Perhaps you shouldn’t have.

Anyway, the next day she called a local television network, and told them that she was planning to have her own show. They laughed at her at first, but after some effort and persistence, this formerly miserable housewife was being broadcast nationally, with her own show on the Biography Channel. Imagine!

And then it all came crashing down around her. No more show, no more TV opportunities. Over. For two years, it seemed like everywhere she turned, she met nothing but failure and hopelessness, her own failure and hopelessness. If that wasn’t bad enough, she also got diagnosed with Lupus.

Things got so bad at one point, that she was sure that the golden period of her life was over. That life for her simply wasn’t meant to feel purposeful, and passionate, anymore.

Laura Lynn prayed throughout all of this, and sometimes all she found in response was silence, nothing.

Until one day, out of nowhere, through a series of “coincidences” – she was offered a new show:

“The Daily with Mark & Laura Lynn” ( www.thedailytv.ca)

Bigger, and better, and even more perfectly suited to her personality than her previous show, that she had been so sad about losing. By the fourth episode, her new show already had better ratings than her old show had ever had. And, her Lupus is completely in remission. Now, she’s using the story of her dark years, to inspire and help other people.

“If it ever seems to you that there’s no hope left, that life will never be good again, and even God seems to have forgotten you,” she told us, “just wait. Wait – for the surprise. God always has one waiting for you, if you just hang in there and believe, no matter how dark things get”.

I know this to be true. In September 2006 it seemed like all my dance dreams had turned to ashes. I’d lost my teacher, my guitarist, the other dancers I worked with, and I’d even lost my dance studio. All I had left was a steaming hot laundry room, in the middle of the desert, to practice in. I thought my flamenco career was over, but something inside me just wouldn’t give up, and I kept practicing, even if I’d never have an audience again.

Three months later, on Christmas Eve, I stepped onto the stage at one of the best resort hotels in the world, Las Ventanas al Paraiso, with two of the best guitarists in the world, Guitarras de Luna, playing live for me. The audience in front of me was filled with celebrities, and high profile people from all over the world.

Hang in there, and wait for the surprise. It will blow your mind.

The Secret to Surviving Super Success

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 07:59:52 +0000

I often joke that one of the major challenges in being a "successful" life balance expert, is that it becomes harder and harder to successfully balance your life! I recently had coffee (actually, it was more of a steamed soy milk, on my part) with mega-successful radio host Jesse Dylan, of The Good Life Network. He's interviewed me a couple of times for his show, which was a huge honour for me and an amazing experience, given that Jesse has previously been identified as one of the top 5 radio personalities in the world. In addition to running his network and other business projects, Jesse manages to balance a happy, healthy family life, and is a world-class competitive triathlete. His secret? Read on...

When I asked Jesse what his secret was to staying healthy and happy in the midst of what must sometimes be an absolutely crazy schedule, his answer was this:

"Exercise, and lots of it".

He walks his talk - the day prior, we'd planned to get together to chat, but had to postpone it because he didn't want to miss his afternoon swim, at a sports club that required him to drive across town to get his swim in.

This reminded me of something I once heard success expert Jim Rohn say on a CD recording. He pointed out that if the average person tried to keep up with his worldwide travel schedule (Russia one day, Australia the next), he would probably get seriously ill in under a week. The way that Jim manages to survive, and thrive in, his schedule, is by getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly.

These are my secret weapons when times get crazy (and things have been getting progressively more crazy over the past year). I aim to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, eat well, drink lots of water and limit sugar and alcohol, and try to get in some exercise, even just a walk to pick up healthy takeout food, every single day. If I do this, I have the energy, mental clarity, and health to get through my busy life. If I don't, it's a time bomb waiting to go off.

So, if you're on the road to success (or would like to get on it), know that good health habits, particularly regular exercise, will give you the stamina and health to ride and enjoy that wave of success, the day that it comes along.

What do you do to help maintain your health and energy when things get busy? I'd love to know - tell me about it by writing me a comment, below!

How to Keep Your Cool in the Eye of the Storm

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 22:44:41 +0000

Yesterday, I was emailing back and forth with Toby Ward of www.HealthyCanada.com (I'm a health and wellness expert for their site), and when I mentioned that Hurricane Norbert was barreling its way up the coast, headed straight for us, here in Cabo, he told me I should "blog from the eye of the storm". The hurricane's still about a hundred miles away right now, and looks like it'll just miss us, but I thought this would be an opportune moment to address what happens to so many of us: how can you manage to stay calm, focused and content, when everything around you seems to be going wrong or out of control?

I have a Mediterranean background, and it can show up pretty easily under pressure- I can have quite the temper. I'm also an ultra-planner and hyper-organizer of my time, so when someone throws a wrench into my plans, watch out! After all, don't I know best how to spend my time? How dare someone go and change things on me!

This has been one of the busiest months of my life, in a wonderful way. I have speaking engagements, coaching clients, media appearances and wonderful new opportunities coming out my ears - which is fabulous. But I'm having to organize my time like never before, and some days it seems like there's no way I'll get it all done. I had a business trip planned for this week, which I prepared for all weekend, and I was just about finished packing when I got the phone call - trip cancelled! I was livid. How could this happen? All this planning, organizing, all-out work to get everything done in time to leave. How could I have "wasted" so much time, when I already had so little time, as it was? It seemed so incredibly unfair. I felt like I was standing there, in the eye of the hurricane, while all my emotions, stresses, pressures and commitments swirled around and around me.

And then it dawned on me. Trip cancelled - that would mean three more days of life with my husband, here in Mexico. Writing deadlines gotten out of the way this weekend, to prepare for the trip - that would mean I could use the extra time to catch up on other things. And then, hours later, the news of the impending hurricane. If I'd been out of town these days, I might not have been able to fly back in today, as scheduled. During a storm, I like to be here at home in Mexico, to ride things out and be here with my husband.

My point is this: if everything around you seems to be going wrong, or someone comes in and throws a huge wrench in your plans, take a breath before you go off the deep end in anger or frustration. Ask yourself this: what might be good about this? Why might I be glad about all this, someday?

If you can't see the good in it right now, you probably will, in the future. Then, like I did, you might feel silly that you got so annoyed or angry, and wasted precious time walking around in a huff.

There really is a good (and I mean good) reason for everything that happens. Don't you just love that? I do.

Are you waiting until your circumstances � or you - are �perfect�? For your best results, act now!

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 05:02:59 +0000

How many things in your life are you procrastinating, because you think that you aren’t ready, or because the circumstances aren’t quite perfect yet? Well, I have some news for you: in most situations, you’re less likely to get the outcome you want by waiting until the timing is “just right”. Here’s why…

I know this idea might not make sense – after all, why would we want to act, when the timing isn’t right yet, or we don’t feel we’re ready? The thing is, most of the goals that we have in life are more easily achieved as a result of real life experience that comes from taking action. For example, one of my passions is working with the media, particularly television. Someone with the “time is right” mentality might suggest that I take media courses, practice extensively, and maybe even hire a media coach, before venturing out and making that all-important “first impression”. I say: wrong! All that additional education can be very helpful, indeed, but without a doubt, the very best education of all comes through DOING. I started doing television appearances a few years ago when someone asked me to, with no training or experience, learning as I went along. I’m continually working at higher levels of media, and the day that my really “big break” comes – guess what? I’ll be ready! Not because I studied and studied and waited for that “just right” moment, but because I took action the first time the opportunity was offered to me, and have been acting (and occasionally failing, and learning from it) ever since.

I’ve been reading Robert Kiyosaki’s books lately (author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad), and he talks a lot about this, too. For example, he would far rather see someone make a bad real estate investment, than make no investment at all. “Buy why?” someone might ask. “How could it be a good experience to lose so much money?” The thing is, often the only way we really learn, and figure out how to EVER do things right in the future, is through our mistakes. You’re going to make mistakes, there’s no way around it. Mistakes are fabulous – because hopefully, you won’t make them again, and will ask better questions, and will see the situation with new, wiser eyes, the next time you have an opportunity.

Don’t expect yourself to do things perfectly the first time. Know that the best way for you to become a master in any area, is to simply start taking action. The sooner you start, and the more willing you are to learn from your mistakes, the faster you’ll be living that “perfect” experience you’ve been waiting for all this time!

(By the way, if you're tired of sitting around, waiting to find the courage to move forward in your life, working with an effective life coach can help you get unstuck and start taking action in key areas of your life that you'd like to get going. If you’d like to know more about my personal life coaching program, click here. Another great tool for helping you identify what you need to do, and then start doing it, is my Your Prescription for Life! Workbook – click here to learn more!)

No Time For a Vacation? Try a Five Minute One...

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 03:02:13 +0000

Here I am in Vancouver, it’s a glorious sunny day, and yet again I’ve only been outside for a couple of minutes. It’s the usual – I try to get through my long to-do list for the day, and set the goal that by the end of the day, my reward will be going outside for a long ocean-view walk, before the sun goes down. Lucky for me, the sunset’s so late here, up north.

Does your life consist of long stretches of hard work and task-filled days and nights, interrupted by the occasional too-brief formal vacation? Do you push through the weeks and months until you finally arrive at that longed-for week of vacation? Today on MSNBC.com I read an article on how to recreate the vacation experience (and some of its benefits) on days that feel like anything but…

Some of their tips (with my comments added) include:

1) Turn off your phone, leave your office without telling anyone where you’re going - take a lovely break for lunch, in the sunshine and fresh air, if possible. (that’s what I did today – aaaah it was lovely). Eat your lunch on a bench in the park, or, if you long for a trip to the South of France, sneak away to an authentic little French bistro and watch the people stroll by your table.

2) Get outside – get fresh air whenever you can. Walk to work, take a walk on your break, stand at the window and inhale deeply of the fresh air outside while taking a break (hoping that your window isn't directly over a packed intersection, of course!)

3) Keep a vacation scent in an office drawer – to take yourself on a brief mind-vacation with just one sniff. If I did this, it would probably be a tiny bottle of olive oil. Whenever I cook with it, which is often, I never tire of taking the cap off and inhaling its fresh, rich scent. In that moment, I’m back sitting at a table overlooking the ocean on the Italian island of Ischia, drizzling olive oil over a big hunk of crusty bread and waiting for my antipasti…

To enjoy the rest of the original MSNBC article, which contains more tips and expert opinions, click here

Though I had nothing to do with the above-mentioned MSNBC article, I was recently featured in another MSNBC piece on the "Coping Combos" that often emerge in response to stress. To read that article, click here. You'll learn that even life balance experts like me can have some pretty bad habits when under major stress!

A New Definition of "Live and Learn"

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 16:53:01 +0000

Another friend from the National Speaker’s Association, Mike Osorio, said something really cool in his latest e-edition of “Jam(Just A Minute) with Mike”, the other day. He mentioned this quote from John Wooden, the legendary wise and inspirational basketball coach:

"Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow."

Isn’t that great? Virtually all of the inspirational and motivational greats that I listen to insist on the importance of continually growing, particularly in areas that are relevant to your dreams for your life. Business philosopher Jim Rohn always says: “Work harder on yourself than you do on your job”. Do you?

Here’s what Mike had to say about Wooden’s quote on learning and living:

“This quote captures the essence of a meaningful life. Too often, we miss opportunities to learn new skills, ideas, philosophies, ways of improving our lives and the lives of those around us. And, we miss out on chances to take risks, meet new people, experience art, theater, music, etc. Our lives are so hectic we find and sometimes create excuses as to why we can't take the time to learn, why we can't take the time to live.”

What does your life look like? Have you been growing?

Do you have a vision for who you’d like to be one day? Are you learning the knowledge and skills that will take you in that direction? Are you becoming the person you dream of being one day?

Are you living your life 100%? Or do you just try to survive each day, until the weekend finally arrives? Or worse, do you push through months, counting down the days to that one week vacation?

Learning (and therefore growing) is the fastest way to get yourself on the fast-track to your dream self and life. Living each day, and enjoying and appreciating where you are in life, right now, is the fastest track to happiness.

Have a great day!

And if you’d like to get my friend Mike’s “JAM” emails, you can sign up at his website www.osoriogroup.com.

Would You Like to Be Rich?

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 17:21:32 +0000

Last month I gave my “Make Someday Today” keynote to a group of hospital-based health care professionals. I had told my life story during the presentation and, during the question period that followed, I made a self-deprecating comment about the fact that, though at this moment I live a rather abundant, even cushy, life, when it comes to my bank balance and assets, “I’m not rich”.

The event organizer got out of his seat, stood next to me and said, into the mike: “BUT - you are rich in many other things.” To my surprise, the audience cheered and clapped loudly in response. I suddenly didn't feel so bad that I don't own a million-dollar home in the hills - could it be that that doesn't even matter?

What would a truly “rich” life look like, and feel like, to you?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately – I’ve had so many opportunities recently, “up North” – meaning anywhere north of my beloved base in Los Cabos, Mexico. My husband and I have been talking seriously about moving up to Vancouver for a while, with the plan to spend a few months a year down south in Mexico. My already-thriving coaching business would grow exponentially if I had a “real” Vancouver office to see clients, in addition to the international phone coaching that I already do; I could make the most of every single media opportunity that comes my way; I could give talks several times a week to local groups; I’d be able to stop spending thousands on air-commuting back and forth between Mexico and Vancouver…

Financially, it’s a no-brainer.

But what do I give up? Going to sleep listening to the waves on the beach, knowing that there’s an endless strip of deserted white sand outside, just waiting for me to go for a walk if I need to think, or unwind. The feeling of belonging to a small, tight community, a place where I know so many people and so many know me. My early-morning flamenco classes teaching and laughing with Leslie, my flamenco protégé, and watching from the sidelines with pride as she dances her solo on stage, as a wonderful new aspect of what used to be my "solo" flamenco show. Saying “buenos dias” to everyone I pass on the street. Having "Girl's Day" at a different local beachside resort every few weeks, which means getting together with my friends Sherry and Christina and critiquing the various amenities and the all-important quality of the beach lounge chairs as we crunch on big, yummy salads.

What will I care about more in the end, my retirement savings balance, or the delicious fulfilling life that I lived? So far, following my heart has paid off, big time. Maybe I’m not “rich”, but oh what a life it’s been for the last few years. What if in continuing to honour my dream life, in the long run I might turn out to benefit BOTH emotionally and financially? This is a theory I would love to continue to test.

What do you think about this? What makes life rich for you? I’d love to know.

I’d also like to introduce you to my friend and mentor, who inspired this entire blog post: Tim Richardson, who I met at the National Speakers Association Convention in San Francisco, at the beginning of this year. Tim speaks and writes about “Living Rich”, more specifically about “how giving increases employee morale, lowers employee turnover, increases customer loyalty and creates higher profits for Fortune 500 companies, associations, and national conventions”. Check out his blog at www.richestpeopleinamerica.com .

A Cure for Codependence

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:46:33 +0000

I’m amazed by how often codependence issues come up in my work with coaching clients – either I’m naturally attracting people who struggle with this way of being, or it’s a really widespread issue for so many women. I suspect it’s a bit of both. Almost every week, a new client says to me: “I’ve been struggling with my relationships with others my whole life, and I only just found out that there’s a name for my problem: they call it codependence. Can you help me with this?”

The term codependence was created to describe the characteristic personality and behavior of spouses and family members of alcoholics and other addicts, but we know now that many people who haven’t been affected by alcohol or addictions have still somehow managed to develop this problematic way of being. The defining characteristic? A tendency to put the needs of others first, and neglect your own self and life.

Some of the “symptoms” of codependence include:

- Focusing on pleasing others, or doing what you think will get the most approval

- Excessive self-sacrificing or being the “martyr” for others

- Controlling or manipulative behavior towards others, e.g. thinking you know what’s best for them, and insisting that they follow your advice (rather than focusing your attention on what needs to improve in your own life)

- Trying to prevent other people from experiencing emotional pain or the consequences of their own behavior

- Getting caught up in drama or crisis going on in the people or relationships around you, and focusing on that instead of your own life

- Repeatedly entering into relationships with people who are either emotionally unavailable or unusually emotionally needy

- Needing to be needed in order to feel like a worthwhile person

Some experts argue whether there’s really such a thing as codependence, or whether it’s just a trendy pop psychology label. I can tell you from my own experience, and my work with clients, that this kind of mindset and behavior is a very real behavior. It also responds extremely well to simple, fundamental changes in how you see life and yourself.

I don’t have time or space here to go into great detail about how to heal from codependence (it does take time, lots of awareness, and consistent efforts), but I do have the space to tell you about the most fundamental cure that there is:

Take your attention off other people, and what they’re doing (or should be doing or are not doing), and focus your attention on yourself, and what the next right step for you is.

In a classic example, if your husband is an alcoholic, and you’re afraid he’ll lose his job, let him be. Let him lose his job, if that’s what might happen as a consequence of his excessive drinking. You see, if you constantly protect your husband from the consequences of his actions (by phoning his employer and saying he’s sick, or by doing his work for him), he may never experience consequences severe enough to motivate him to seek help for his addiction. By "helping" him, or "rescuing" him, you may actually be doing more harm than good, over the longterm.

If you find yourself terrified by “giving up control” or responsibility for the life of another person, the way to distract yourself, and heal yourself, is to replace your preoccupation with them by doing what you need to do for yourself. Make yourself something delicious and healthy to eat, go for a walk, call a friend, work on your taxes, tidy up that messy spare room that’s driving you crazy. Whatever it is that you need to do to take care of you.

The best part is, when you start to look after yourself and stop nagging, or controlling, or rescuing everyone else, they'll start to respect you more, and treat you differently, and maybe even start becoming the kind of person that you'd wished they'd be. You'll be amazed by the miracles that occur.

If you’re struggling with codependence, or have triumphed over this way of being, I’d love to hear from you – go down to the comments session, and leave me a note. Or, if you’d like some help with moving your life forward, and would like to create a life filled with satisfying relationships - a healthy, balanced life in which you focus, perhaps for the first time, on yourself and your dreams - it would be my great joy to be able to help you with that. Click here for more information on my life coaching work, and contact me through this site if you’d like some help.

Do The Things You "Reward" Yourself with Help You, or Harm You?

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 17:24:49 +0000

I always cringe when I see a well-meaning grandma, or anyone for that matter, say to a little child: “What a good girl you are! Here’s a cookie!” Most of us, early on, learned to see sweet foods like cookies, or ice cream, or candy, as a “treat”, a reward for good behavior or hard work, or perhaps something to make us feel better whenever we have an “owie”.

Little do we know that these “rewards” often set us up for problems later in life. Do you “reward” yourself with sweet rich treats? Or, maybe, you treat yourself by going on a buying binge at the mall with your credit card. Perhaps you prefer to celebrate by going out for an all-night martini marathon? If any of this sounds familiar, you might want to read on…

These behaviors (rewarding ourselves with sweets, spending, or alcohol) are so deeply bred into our culture, that few of us actually stop to think about their true effect on our lives.

If your beloved child got an A on his report card, would you say, or do, any of these things to him:

“Here, have this sugar and fat-filled disc of empty calories - if I do this enough times, you’ll eventually so associate its taste and texture with comfort, that you’ll be unable to control your consumption of it as an adult and struggle with being overweight for the rest of your life.”

“Here, take this artificially flavoured and coloured Apple-tini, you’ll feel kind of loose and free for a couple of hours, and if you drink enough of it you’ll get really nauseous and sick. Tomorrow, you’ll feel even worse, and it’ll probably wreck your whole day. But who cares, drink it now, you’ll feel great for a little while, anyway.”

“Here, take my credit card and buy yourself whatever you want, you deserve it. We can’t really afford it, but it’ll make you feel good for a little while, even if you eventually forget what you bought, and don’t even use it or wear it.”

I know, I’ve expressed my feelings on sweet treats, excess alcohol, and impulse spending in a pretty extreme way – but I’m trying to make a point:
Are any of these things, or behaviors, truly rewards that benefit you? Or are they celebratory treats that you’ll regret, once the brief moment of indulgence and enjoyment has passed?

I encourage you develop an awareness before you “reward” yourself, or “celebrate”.

Is what you’re about to do really consistent with what you want for yourself and your life? Will you feel happy afterwards, or guilty?

What are some ways you can reward yourself, that you can still really look forward to, without feeling bad about it, after?

If I want to celebrate with food, I’ll go for all-you-can-eat sushi (my favourite!) or Thai food. Yummy, but still healthy.

If I want to go out with friends to celebrate something, I’d rather go out for a nice meal, and have one or two glasses of wine, rather than hit the bar and drink ourselves silly (and sick).

I know myself well enough now that I don’t let myself reward myself by going to the mall (that’s a recipe for disaster), but perhaps instead I’ll put some money aside towards that vacation to Italy next year that we’re so excited about.

I’d love to hear from you about different ways in which you harm yourself with “rewards”, and also I’d like to know about the truly nourishing ways of rewarding yourself, that you’ve discovered. Maybe you could give the rest of us some ideas! Just go to the comments box below, and let me know.

There’s room in life for everything – a cookie here, a martini there – but develop a consciousness about how it is that you use these “treats” in your life.

You deserve rewards that really reward you!

Do You Have the "Too Busy Blues"?

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 06:08:26 +0000

Today was one of my rare days working in the clinic, practicing what some might call “real” medicine. Though I spend most of my time lately doing what I believe I was truly put on this planet to do (writing, dancing, coaching, speaking and educating the public about total wellness), I find that the days that I do still spend practicing traditional medicine always present me with some new insight or gift.

Today, two different women asked me for prescriptions for antidepressants. I don’t believe in handing antidepressants out without learning more about the person’s situation, so in each case I asked them: “Have you tried any kind of counseling, or tried to figure out where your sad mood might be coming from?”

In both cases, their initial response was the same…

“Oh yeah, I tried that talking to someone about my depression a few years ago, it didn’t do much for me. I’m pretty sure that depression is totally genetic, there’s just something wrong with my brain chemistry. I’ve been fine for a while, and now my brain chemistry has just gone ‘off’ again”.

Now, there’s no doubt that yes, when people get depressed, our brain chemistry changes significantly enough to be measured scientifically. And yes, antidepressants that shift this chemistry back to “normal” can make us feel better. And, there are people that are so depressed that perhaps the only thing that can pull them out of the hole, at that moment, is an antidepressant.

But these women were functioning pretty well, and weren’t profoundly depressed, they just felt themselves slipping down towards a familiar depressed state, and were rightfully concerned about it.

As is almost always the case, I had to push a little:

“What’s going on in your life right now? Is there any reason you might be starting to feel depressed again?”

“No, not really,” was the response in both cases.

I wasn’t ready to give up that easily, as I so passionately believe that when things are going wrong with our minds, or our bodies, so often it reflects some kind of imbalance in our lives, something that we can “fix”, that will then help our minds or bodies recover, or at least improve significantly.

So I asked again.

Now, the truth came out. Both women admitted that their lives were way out of balance. They were too busy, with no time for themselves, or time to think about what activities or choices might really fulfill or nourish their hearts, minds and souls.

They were too busy to look after themselves. No time for exercise. No time to eat properly. Very little time for fun.

As I pointed out to them: “Who wouldn’t feel depressed, living like that?”

If your life is too busy, if you have no time at all for you, or for the fundamentals of life (sleep, good nutrition, and exercise) that keep us happy and well – I’d be surprised if you weren’t at least a little depressed!

If you’re feeling low, before you reach for or request a quick fix, ask yourself: What in my life might be contributing to this? Is there some aspect of my life that I need to change? In what way might my low mood be a symptom of what’s happening in my life, or within myself?

If you’ve had any experiences of having your mood lift, or coming out of a depression, as a result of making simple – or major – changes in your life, I’d love to hear about it! Send me a note through the comment box below - you can choose to keep it private, if you’d like, by telling me that in the body of your message.

Just for Today, How Can You Be a Success?

Sun, 18 May 2008 15:28:44 +0000

Yesterday I sent out my most recent edition of my Prescription for Life e-newsletter, with tips on how to “Find Time for What Matters Most”. This morning, I opened up the latest edition of Jim Rohn’s “Your Achievement E-zine” in my inbox, and there found an essay by renowned leadership expert Dr. John C. Maxwell.

In my newsletter, I outlined a series of simple steps that you can take, to clarify your most important goals and activities and help you purposefully plan your day – rather than drowning in overwhelm, as so many people do, these days. (If you’re not on my list yet and missed this edition of my newsletter, just leave me a note in the comments box, I'll keep your comment confidential and will email a copy of the newsletter to you)

As if on cue, Maxwell wrote about the importance of asking yourself, every morning: “Just for today, how can I be a success?”

Isn’t that an incredible way of looking ahead at your day?

It’s not so much “what do I have to do today” or “what should I really do today, though I don’t feel like it”. Instead, it’s: “What can I do today that would leave me feeling successful and proud by the end of it?” To me, his words feel so different and so full of potential and positive emotion.

What kind of a day would make you a success, just for today?

A successful day for me, today (a Sunday) would mean:
1) I’d plan in some kind of exercise (already did that!)
2) I’d eat three solid meals, with lots of vegetables and fruits and good sources of protein
3) I’d get myself to church
4) I’d do this blog post
5) I’d sit down and finally write the set of proposals that the Oprah magazine editor requested
6) I’d organize my home a little bit, and open all the windows and curtains and let lots of light in (it feels like that kind of glorious day)
7) I’d go out somewhere fabulous with my husband tonight

Can you feel the difference between a “success” list and a “to-do” list?

And the best part is that, every single day, I get to determine what being a success means, just for that day. After all, on some days success would mean that I’d successfully managed to just relax and do nothing!

You may never have heard of business and success philosopher Jim Rohn (I hadn’t either, until a very successful woman who I really admire, Cathie Smith, forwarded his e-zine to me). A lot of people obviously appreciate his work, as his newsletter goes out to a mind-boggling 100,000 readers! You may want to join the crowd, I really recommend it. You can sign up for it at www.jimrohn.com .

Your Personal Everest: A Climber's Tips on How to Achieve Your Dreams

Wed, 14 May 2008 15:28:59 +0000

I love collecting people’s stories. For years, I’ve been fascinated by the stories of how individuals create the life of their dreams: How early in life did they know they had this dream? What kinds of resistance and doubt did they encounter from others? How did they keep believing in themselves and their dream, through the (inevitable) tough times?

Today I read an article on canoe.ca about the youngest Canadian to climb Everest, 26-year-old Jean Francois Carrey. For his advice on how to reach your big dream, read on…

Based on excerpts from the article by Dave Dale, Carrey says:

1) “The most important thing in life, in business, is passion”

2) One of the first steps toward achieving success is telling as many people as possible about your dream. "Everybody around you will help you achieve your goal."

3) When his dream seemed impossible, a friend shared with him this nugget: "Eating a whole elephant is impossible," his friend said, but you can do it by "eating one piece at a time."

4) “You have to start small.” His first job as a river run guide near Renfrew carried him to the Northwest Territories and some of the biggest rivers in the country. After proving himself on the 500-kilometre-long Nahanni River, with the Virginia waterfall twice as deep as Niagara, he realized his youth wasn't a deterrent.

5) You need to "visualize your goals". He travelled to Nepal to see the mountain "with my own eyes." The trip proved to be the "most influential thing" during his long journey and he advised people to get as close to their goals as possible, to inspire them to keep trying.

To read the whole article, click here

I really believe you have what it takes to fulfill any dream you have in your heart. I’ve certainly experienced that in my life – I started flamenco lessons at age 31, and now, five years later, have performed for celebrities and other high profile clients, and dance in some of the most beautiful resorts and villas in the world. It all started with a dream, a “crazy” idea I held in my heart. It turned out to be not so crazy, after all.

You can do it – take the first step, today, to climbing your personal Everest!

I’d love to hear from you – what dreams have you accomplished, and which dreams are you gathering the courage for, now?

Take Heart! Women of All Ages, It's Urgent That We Learn These Facts About Heart Disease

Sun, 11 May 2008 01:28:19 +0000

Did you know that every year, an estimated 485,000 American women die of cardiovascular disease (heart disease and stroke), more than twice the number who die of all forms of cancer combined? So why is it, then, that most of us worry more about cancer than we worry about our hearts?

As a wellness expert, I get to work with all kinds of journalists from across North America, and yesterday I had the privilege of connecting with powerhouse American journalist Charlotte Libov. In addition to writing for publications such as the New York Times, Charlotte is a passionate advocate for women’s heart health, a journey that began after she went through her own open heart surgery. This grabbed my attention, as I’m preparing a seminar for a women’s evening in Los Cabos, and several of the ladies who will be attending have told me that they want to learn more about the signs of heart disease in women, and how to prevent it. .

Thanks to Charlotte, who’s also the founder of National Women’s Heart Health Day, I now have some fabulous resources and life-saving information to share with my seminar guests, and with you.

Have you ever stopped to think about the possibility that you might be at risk for heart disease?

I don’t like to think about it, either, but there’s no escaping the fact that heart disease is the number one killer of women. And it’s not something that’s only important to “older” women, either, as the habits of a lifetime are what injure your cardiovascular system, over time.

If you’re like me, you probably worry more about breast cancer, or cancer in general, than you think about heart disease.

Here’s what Charlotte, author of “The Woman’s Heart Book”, had to say about this, in an online interview on pinksunrise.com:

“For generations, women (and their doctors) have been educated to believe that heart disease is a problem almost solely for men. Research studies were lacking in women, and the few research studies that did focus on women found that chest pain and other heart-related symptoms did not bode a serious problem for women. Unfortunately, in hindsight, those studies were wrong. But, as a result, those of us who are concerned about heart disease in women are still playing catch-up. Unfortunately, also, heart disease is a silent disease. Women who are celebrities and breast cancer survivors feel almost obligated to share their stories. Heart disease is much more of a silent disease. There are female celebrities with heart disease, but they remain silent. Most of us know Betty Ford for her battles with breast cancer and substance abuse; how many know that she has undergone bypass surgery as well?”

She’s right. When the guests of my upcoming seminar asked me to talk about heart disease, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, as I actually hadn’t planned for that topic to be part of the health section of my seminar. Now, I’m going to make sure that I highlight this issue, and will direct my audience to check out the information on Charlotte’s website after they go home.

For an outstanding summary on heart disease in women (with information on everything from “beating the top killer of women”, to “heart attack warning signs in women”, and what to do if you get diagnosed with a “heart problem”), check out this link to Charlotte’s site.

And Charlotte isn’t just a heart health advocate, as she’s become a respected expert, and published author, in multiple areas of women’s health. For a list of various other excellent articles on her site, click here

It’s time all women took this serious issue to heart!

Celebrate International No Diet Day! 5 Tips for a Happy Body and Healthy Weight

Tue, 06 May 2008 15:06:59 +0000

Did you know that today is International No Diet Day? Since 1992, May 6 has been declared the day to celebrate body acceptance and body shape diversity, and to increase awareness of the dangers of diets. Predominantly celebrated in Canada, the USA, Australia, New Zealand, India and Israel (who knew?), INDD emphasizes the following: 1) Doubt the idea of one "right" body shape; 2) Raise awareness of weight discrimination and size bias; 3) Declare a free day from diets and obsessions about body weight; and 4) Present the facts about the diet industry, emphasizing the inefficacy of commercial diets.

So, in honour of International No Diet Day, I invite you to join me in enjoying a big piece of chocolate cake! Also, as I’m a doctor with a degree in nutrition, I’d like to share with you some of my own tips about healthy weight management and weight loss (that DON’T involved dieting).

Growing up, I was obsessed with dieting and calories. It began when I was 10, when my diet-obsessed aunt convinced me to try a “grapes and grapefruit” diet she’d read about in a magazine. We only ate grapes and grapefruit - that was the “diet”. We only lasted two days, thank goodness. Things got really bad when I started university, after an insecure, nasty boyfriend told me that I was fat (I weighed 125 pounds, and am 5’8” tall!). I started counting every calorie, and developed a phobia about fat in foods.

Luckily, another, later boyfriend recognized what was going on, and sent me to his sister’s dietitian. She told me that the way I was eating (and also compulsively exercising) was actually shutting down my metabolism. She challenged me to live by the following magic words: “Eat when you’re hungry, and stop when you’re full”. She made me a bet that not only would I not gain weight, but I’d have more energy and feel great. She was right. I’ve lived by that rule, generally, ever since, and my weight hasn’t gone up and down more than five pounds in 17 years, since I heard those words. Because of her, I also decided to become a dietetician, and got a degree in dietetics before going on to med school.

So here are my “healthy body, healthy weight, healthy life tips” for you today, International No Diet Day:

1) Eat when you’re hungry, and stop when you’re full! The first step in this is to start asking yourself this, when you begin to crave food: Am I really hungry? You'll probably discover that, more often than not, you're eating for emotional reasons - because you're bored, or tired, or angry, or sad, or lonely, for example. Or, in my case - proscrastinating! In these situations, snacking doesn't truly help the emotion, because though it feels good in the moment, it actually leaves you feeling worse about yourself afterwards. Learn to recognize the difference between true hunger and emotional eating, and you may never have to "diet" again.

2) Eating healthy isn’t about deprivation – there’s room for everything in a healthy diet, in moderation. And I mean everything. Obviously, the less healthy or more fatty/junky a food is, the less often you should be eating it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, ever. Go ahead! Especially today.

3) Forget about diets. If you’d like to lose weight, or maintain a healthy diet, you can do that through a variety of healthy food choices. Sometimes, you might need a little help – some of my friends here in Cabo “subscribe” to a meal-delivery service that provides a huge variety of gourmet yummy meals that are designed to meet a certain calorie level. I think that’s great, and it really works – and they don’t feel like they’re on a diet, at all! The key to maintaining a healthy weight is finding healthy foods, and food habits, that you enjoy eating. Living healthy is a way of life - an enjoyable way of life, not about extreme sacrifice and weird tricks or techniques or fads.

4) Love yourself, no matter what size you are. Who you are is much more important than your body size, no matter what society might tell you. If you’re a good, kind, honest person who’s overweight, I’d rather spend time with you than with a skinny, nasty person!

5) Take time to enjoy your food. Eat consciously. Eat at a table, not in front of the television. Find healthy foods that you love (I love sushi, berries, granola bars, big bowls of multigrain cereal and Asian-inspired stir-fries with lots of vegetables)

Today, focus on what’s good about you, your life, and your food! Into everyone’s life a little chocolate cake must fall…have a happy day!

Networking Magic: How to "Ask" Your Way into Your Dreams

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:44:45 +0000

I recently wrote a blog post about the most effective networking and marketing secret I've ever heard of: generosity. Giving to others, and helping them reach their goals and dreams (instead of focusing on what they could do to help you), is the surest way to huge life and business success. What goes around really does come around, not to mention how wonderful it feels to know that you make a difference in the lives of others.

My business coach and master strategist, Jill Lublin, wrote the book on creating meaningful, prosperous connections in all areas of your life (see her bestselling book "Networking Magic"). Just today, I read her latest blog post, which has another essential and brilliant element that I'd never considered: to convert your dreams into reality, you first need to be clear about what you want, and then be prepared to ask for it. Here's Jill's point of view on this:

"First, prepare by clearly identifying your purpose – what you want and need. Clarity of purpose opens the door to possibility. People know who you are and what you want with absolute certainty," she writes in her April 24 blog post on "Networking Encouragement".

Her words resonate with what I always say about owning who you really are and not being afraid to truly be yourself, wherever you go, no matter what you think people might think or say about you. When you're really you, no holds barred, you will begin to encounter and attract the kind of people and help that you need to move forward (and not necessarily because of some magnetic law of the "universe"). More simply, once you start being the real "you", and people know what you're really about and what your dreams are, you're helping others to know how they can help you.

However, though it's a great first step, in many cases just being the real you isn't quite enough - you won't really get what you need until you stop being afraid to ask for it.

When it comes to asking for what you want or need, Jill's advice is: "Aim high in your networking strategies. You always risk getting less than you want if you stop short of your ultimate dreams. Make your request known by getting out there and playing big." Playing big means dreaming big and then taking that next necessary step, out in the real world. And networking isn't just about business contacts - we're talking about everyone you come across in your daily life.

In other words, don't be afraid to tell others about your dreams, or to ask for help, or referrals, or advice with respect to your dreams. You never know when someone - be it a new friend, a member of your business network, or someone next to you on the plane - could be the key to the next step up the staircase to your big dream!

Jill's work and advice are always brilliant - she's one of the top PR experts in the United States. Her blog, "Get Noticed and be Influential with Jill Lublin" is at www.getnoticedblog.com - you can find her complete post on "Networking Encouragement" there.

As always, I'd love to hear any comments, or stories about times in which your asking for something you needed created miracles...or, why you might be afraid to be who you really are or ask for what you dream of.

Five Tips for Better Sleep

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 06:42:07 +0000

I would bet that you have little or no idea just how important sleep really is. Sure, no one likes to be tired, and we all know how good we feel after a good night’s rest. But did you know that if you consistently don’t get enough sleep, you could be putting yourself at risk for: overeating, weight gain and obesity; hypertension and heart problems; anxiety and depression; poor memory function and retention; and decreased immune system function (read: more colds and flu and possibly more serious illnesses).

I saw an article on Yahoo today about sleep, which reminded me of the time I spent studying sleep medicine, a few years ago. That small course was time well spent, as it taught me things about sleep that I will always remember, and might even be adding years to my life, right now.

If too little sleep is bad for your health, does that mean more is better? Not necessarily, as some of the same studies that showed health problems as a result of too little sleep, showed similar results for people regularly getting “too much” sleep, such as over nine hours. It’s not a big deal if you’re catching up on your “sleep debt” occasionally by sleeping in, but our bodies seem to like between 7-8 hours sleep as the physical ideal.

And what’s this about the weight gain? Several studies have shown that when you don’t get enough sleep (i.e. less than six or seven hours), your body actually produces hormones that stimulate appetite and weight gain. Pretty scary! How’s that for motivation?

Here are my top five sleep tips:

1) Wind down, lights down – before you go to bed, start to wind things down. Turn off the lights in the rest of your home and just have a little bedside lamp on as you get ready for bed. If you can, keep the lights in the bathroom low as you brush your teeth etc. Decreased light quiets the mind and signals it that it’s time for bed.

2) No late night net-surfing or TV watching – on a similar theme, it’s been shown that the bright light of a computer screen or TV can trick the brain into thinking it’s still daytime, which can make it harder to wind down and make the transition to sleep.

3) Avoid B Vitamins in the afternoon/evening – I don’t know if this has been scientifically proven, but a naturopath once told me that it’s well known that taking B Vitamins (for example, in a typical multivitamin) after 4 p.m. can cause vivid dreams and nightmares. I’ve observed this reaction in me, several times, so there may be something to it.

4) Avoid alcohol at night – Alcohol might make you sleepy, or help you fall asleep, but it actually decreases the quality of your deep sleep, leaving you less rested in the morning.

5) Block out early morning light – I learned this from one of my attending physicians when I was studying Emergency Medicine and working lots of shifts. If you have thin curtains, the daylight coming in will be sure to wake you up prematurely. In one apartment I actually bought black posterboard sheets and put them up behind the curtains when I went to bed at night. I slept like a baby, for as long as I needed to.

The short but interesting Yahoo article about sleep was by Lucy Danziger, the Editor-in-Chief of Self magazine. Did you know that talking on cell phones late at night can also affect the quality of your sleep? To read her article, "Why Sleep is (Almost) as Important as Breathing", click here

Sweet dreams!

Walking: Wonderful for Weight Loss

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:53:10 +0000

I’ve promoted walking for weight loss for decades, and some people seem to never quite believe me. They think weight loss has to be achieved through suffering and activities that they normally wouldn't do unless someone paid them. (I speak from experience, as someone once paid me to get me to run a long distance race)

I’ll never forget the day, when I was fifteen, when I first complained to my mom about my weight. I’d stopped doing gymnastics and now took the bus to school, and my weight was creeping up steadily. She told me the solution was simple: to lose weight, all I needed to do was walk more, to the tune of fifteen minutes a day. I did, and the weight dropped off. I’ve used this weight loss tool ever since: after a pasta and gelato-filled trip to Italy, or after a summer of too little activity and too many barbecues. No gyms for this girl! I get bored far too easily. Luckily, walking (and dancing) really work for me.

Will walking for weight loss work for you, too? Yes! It’s now official, according to a study published in March in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Researchers at the University of Copenhagen actually told a group of men to stop walking. They were instructed to reduce their daily steps by using elevators instead of stairs, and by riding in cars rather than walking or biking. I’m guessing they were also told to drive around in circles until they found the closest possible parking spot to the entrance (sound familiar?).

The first observation was that their blood insulin levels went up, making them more likely to develop diabetes as a result of this decreased physical activity. Second, they showed a significant increase in abdominal fat, while their lean body mass (muscle) decreased.

And all this happened in just two weeks.

So if you look down at yourself, right now, and see a bulging belly that you’d rather do without, we’ve now got a simple and potentially very effective solution. Take the stairs. Park a little further away. Go out for a walk instead of out for a drive.

I found this information today as I was researching a topic for my nutrition column in the Medical Post. Dr. Arya Sharma, a world-renowned weight loss and obesity specialist, had read one of my earlier nutrition columns and had emailed me to compliment me on it. I clicked on the link to his blog,and was amazed by the quality and quantity of his content. If you struggle with your weight and would like some top-notch cutting-edge info on the subject, click here to check out Dr. Sharma's Website. This link is to the page for his patients, or for the general public - if you scroll down to the bottom you can click on some great articles.His blog is excellent, too, but it focuses more on research and seems to me to be written more for doctors.

Have you had any weight loss success through walking? Go to the comments section and let me know - perhaps your story might help me motivate someone else! I can keep you comment confidential, as well, at your request.

The Ultimate Networking and Marketing Secret - Guaranteed to Work for Any Business or Career!

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:49:12 +0000

I know what you’re thinking: What could a doctor know about marketing? And how could a doctor, even if she’s a life coach, speaker, writer etc., know a “secret” guaranteed to work for any business?

I haven’t had any kind of formal business training, other than taking Economics 101 many years ago, so when I moved out of traditional medicine and into several other careers, I was hugely intimidated by the idea of having to promote myself and my work. Networking and building a market seemed liked a painful, forced, exhausting process – until I learned this amazing secret.

The first time I heard it, or at least really registered it, was at a seminar given by my coach, Jill Lublin (author of Guerrilla Publicity and Networking Magic – www.jilllublin.com ). How I met Jill is a story in itself – I was in Vancouver, working a rare medical clinic shift, when Jill, an internationally-renowned “master strategist” rolled into the clinic. She was visiting from San Francisco to give several seminars, broke both of her ankles getting off the ferry, and rolled herself into my clinic. She invited me to her seminar, and the rest is history. This happened the day after I said a prayer, asking for guidance with respect to moving to the next level with my career. Can you say “miracle”? I love life!

Anyway, during the seminar Jill has us do an exercise: every person would have a chance to stand up, and ask for something that they needed to advance their business. Anyone who had any information or contacts that might help that person would write it down for them on a business card. This was the first example I saw of networking by giving.

I read more about this concept in a fantastic book I picked up at the airport, by Jeffrey Gitomer, “The Little Black Book of Connections” (www.gitomer.com). I was surprised to discover that Gitomer described networking, and promoting your business, as a process of simply giving, and giving, and giving to others, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Another thing he wrote was that “reputation is also built by providing and performing random acts of kindness”. You don’t need a business degree to be able to share whatever skills, gifts and information you have, and you don’t need to be much more sophisticated than a 5-year-old to practice kindness.

What an amazing feeling, and how different, to walk into a conference of people with the intention of making connections in order to give away as much as possible, rather than being focused on what I might get out of it. Can you feel the difference? It’s revolutionary.

Finally, I’d like to share one more thing with you, which I just read and which inspired me to write this post. Click on the link to read this great article called “Don't Keep Score”, by Keith Ferrazzi. He's an expert in sales, but I think this applies to pretty much everyone. I found it to be really interesting and a real wake-up call.

Now get out there and get giving!

If you have any personal stories about how your own giving produced amazing results, I'd love to hear about them. Write to me below in the space for "Comments". You can even send me a private message this way, if you'd rather not "go public" - comments come to me first, before getting posted, so if you'd like to write me but would prefer that I don't post your comment, just let me know!

Too Many Emails, Too Little Time?

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:02:23 +0000

I’m in Vancouver this week and had a meeting today with my fabulous publicity team, Lesley Diana and Tanya Tweten of The Promotion People. Lesley asked me how I was doing with my schedule and email load, and mentioned that she was concerned that I might soon hit overwhelm. “You’re only going to keep getting busier,” she warned. She’s right.

Over the last few months, my email burden has swelled to the point where it could easily take over my whole day, every day. Coaching inquiries, emails from clients, wonderful newsletters from my favourite motivational experts, publicity and business tips that I’d benefit so much from, if I only had time to read them…I’m behind, all the time, and am starting to realize that there must be a better way of using my time. Surely all this e-mailing is preventing me from doing other things that would be far more productive and important.

Can you relate?

I asked a successful and highly capable friend the other day, how she manages her email burden. She said she only answers urgent ones immediately, and that she tries to answer all other emails in 48 hours. I’ve begun flagging all emails that can wait, and only answer the most time-sensitive ones right away (such as those from potential clients).

I’m only partially succeeding, as I love to procrastinate by reading emails from friends, or other e-zine type mailings, instead of tearing myself away and doing something more constructive that needs attention. I also tend to let the flagged emails pile up, answering some as late as a week or more after the fact. I neglected to factor in a set time in my schedule to answer them, so I just end up doing it when I happen to remember. Not a great system!

Do you use email to procrastinate? Do you have a system to answer them, or do you let the arriving emails drive your day and how you spend your time?

I’ve noticed that many people write extremely short emails, which I’m trying to emulate. I don’t really like it as a style of interaction, but I think it’s likely born out of necessity.

What are you doing to help lighten the email load, to prevent it from taking over your day and your life? Do you have any organizational secrets or tips? I’d like to know! (And I’m sure others would, too)

Another thing that I’m planning to do next week, when I’m back in Mexico and back to my normal routine, is an exercise that I learned from motivational expert Chris Widener. I’m going to log my time ruthlessly, to document how much time I spend doing what. I’m actually going to monitor how long I take to write certain emails, how much time I spend on the computer, how much time I spend writing, how much time I spend driving, etc. I’m almost scared to do this, but I’m sure the results will be illuminating and fascinating. I have this sense that I'm working and working, all day long, but not quite achieving the truly important things I should be dedicating the most time to.

Feel free to join me in this time-log experiment - do it yourself, and let me know how it goes!

Finally, I’m also going to do a goals workshop from business philosopher Jim Rohn that I’ve had on my computer for several months. I need to get clearer on exactly what my goals are, and what my top priorities are, in order to schedule my day according to those priorities. More often than not, my day ends up being reactive (based on what news arrives via phone or email), or planned based on short-term rather than long-term goals.

As Rohn says: “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. Ouch!

Five Ways to Save Your Love Relationship

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:16:58 +0000

I wrote about this topic , with a slightly different approach, in my most recent newsletter, and was amazed by the response I received. Though I was a little hesitant to, I'd decided to share some of the gory details of my own disastrous love relationships (a pattern which started in 1985, the year of my first date, and continued until the spring of 2006, which was the year I finally learned what I'd been doing wrong, for OVER 20 YEARS!). I'd nervously held my breath as I hit "send" on the newsletter, so I was thrilled when people wrote me, saying that they'd loved it, that it had helped them immensely, and that they had forwarded the newsletter to their friends, or siblings, or children.

When I work with coaching clients, I've found that often our first couple of sessions end up being about clearing up relationship drama in their lives. Often, we're so wrapped up in what our partner is doing, or not doing, that we can't even start to focus on what we want or need to do in our own lives.

After I began taking this new approach to relationships, everything in my life (not just my relationship) began to function more smoothly and successfully. And, I happily married my boyfriend of five years, Armando, this past January! We both have learned to follow these principles, and as a result we believe, God willing, that we will have many happy years together.

When asked to make one wish, most people automatically ask for “more money!” We all want to be happy, and most have us have bought the idea that money equals happiness. Ironically, research consistently shows that more money (beyond the basic comforts) actually makes people less happy in the long run.

So, if more money can’t guarantee happiness, what will?

Study after study tells us: Healthy, happy relationships.

Your relationship with your significant other, when it’s good, can be the highlight of your life. A difficult, stressful relationship, on the other hand, can actually be hazardous to your health. Hostility in intimate relationships is associated with heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, sudden death, and can suppress your immune system.

Here are 5 things you can do to immediately begin to improve the quality of your relationship:

1) Tend Your Own Garden

How much time do you spend thinking about, or complaining about, what he or she is doing wrong? Catch yourself when you do this, and stop. Consciously turn your focus, at that moment, to what would be the best thing you could do, right now, to look after yourself and your own life. If they're late coming home, stop stewing and seize the moment to do something you need to do, or enjoy a great book or movie. Smile and say hi when they get home. If they don't want to attend an event with you, smile and go out and have fun on your own, or invite a friend to go with you. Refuse to let it get you down! These are just a couple of examples. The key is not to let anything they do phase you or wreck your own peace and enjoyment of life.

2) Learn to be Happy, No Matter What They Do

If your happiness depends on what another person does, or doesn’t do, that’s a sure recipe for misery. Decide to be happy, no matter what. Find, or create, things about your life that you enjoy, and focus on them when things get tough. So many of us begin to identify with our misery, the "I've been done wrong" drama. If you're in that kind of rut, own the fact that you, and you alone, are in charge of how you feel about your life. If you need to change something, change it. But if you decide to stay in a situation, make a commitment to yourself to be happy, no matter what. (People often resist this at first, they identify so much with being the "righteous" partner who is constantly offended, it takes a lot of work on my part to pull them out of the role that they simultaneously curse and love at the same time - after all, there's a certain satisfaction in being "right" all the time)

3) Listen to Your Body

Be aware that hostility and resentment hurt you more than they do the other person, especially if you keep feeling resentful, even when the person’s not with you! Learn to recognize signs of tension and poor health in your body: stomach pains, neck or back pain, headaches. At the first sign, assess the situation and do something that helps you immediately feel better (note: lashing out at your significant other does not count!).

4) Own Your Own Buttons

If your partner knows just what to do or say to set you off, don’t blame them for your reaction. You can’t control what someone else does, but you can control what you do. Learn to recognize your own “hot buttons”, and notice yourself as you start to react. Stop, go to another room, do something silly, whatever it takes to interrupt your reaction. This really works. I'm not suggesting you leave the room and slam the door - instead, take a deep breath and say something like "I'm going to go into the other room for a few minutes, I'm starting to feel upset and I really don't want to say anything that might hurt us." Sometimes being silent, and refusing to respond to barbs and button-pushing, can really help, as long as it's not the classic "silent treatment", which is really just a show of anger.

5) Focus on What’s Good

Make a point of focusing on what you like about the other person, and what would be good to improve in your own life. When you focus on the good things, in the other person and your own life, the other person will often begin to miraculously improve on their own. This is the most incredible phenomenon of all. Many of us think the other person will never change, unless we insist that they do and repeatedly tell them where they're failing. Ironically, they often won't change until we decide to leave them alone, accept them as they are, and focus on our own lives and happiness.

This is what happened in my relationship with Armando. I was always complaining about the ways he let me down, and he was driven crazy by my nagging. When I stopped nagging and complaining, and started to focus on my life, he suddenly started to change, too. Today, he's like another person - he has all the good qualities I loved when I met him, and has improved every single one of the characteristics that used to drive me crazy. I'm sure he would say the same thing about me!

FYI One of the tools that really helped me was my work in 12-step groups, such as Al-Anon. Armando didn't have a drinking problem, but his father had been an alcoholic, and his mom noticed that I was exhibiting many of the "codependent" type controlling behaviors. She recommended that I participate in a group, so I did. I thought I'd discover a place to freely and loudly complain about Armando, but it turned out that the emphasis was on not complaining, and focusing on your own life and reactions instead. I highly recommended groups like Al-Anon and CoDA (codependents anonymous), as my principles above have been inspired by the miraculous concepts I learned in these groups.

Spirituality and Your Health

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 22:33:25 +0000

When I was in med school, I wasn't really a very spiritual person, as far as I can remember. As with many other people, it took a crisis for me to turn to something bigger than myself. Actually, for me it was a long series of crises! During that time, when I was lost in my life and totally miserable, I also developed multiple physical illnesses. Miraculously, these conditions cleared up once I got onto the right track with my life. From my own experience, and from observing similar patterns in patients, I developed an interest in the connection between the mind and the body. This led me to discover all kinds of existing research about the link between your spiritual practices/beliefs and your health.

Mind-body-spirit, as the cliche goes - but when I use this phrase, I'm not referring to a person's own personal "spirit", but a bigger "higher power" that's out there, somewhere, cleaning up and reorganizing the mess we humans often make of our own lives.

Studies have shown that regular “religious attendance” (e.g. going to church), is significantly associated with general well-being, healthy social functioning, and good mental health. One study that looked at cardiac transplant patients found that the presence of religious beliefs and practices before surgery predicted better post-transplant physical function; the religious transplant patients also demonstrated less general anxiety. Another study of almost 100,000 people linked weekly church attendance to 50% fewer deaths from coronary artery disease, 56% fewer deaths from emphysema, 75% fewer deaths from cirrhosis (severe liver disease), and 53% fewer suicides.

Prayer, meditation, or simply a belief in a Higher Power or a higher order to life, likely also protects your health. A study in HIV positive men showed that a variety of religious activities (prayer or meditation, religious attendance, spiritual discussions, or reading religious or spiritual literature) were all associated with significantly higher CD4 counts (these are the immune cells which are often life-threateningly low in people with HIV). Another cardiac study showed that heart surgery patients with higher than average personal religious beliefs had post-surgery hospital stays 20% shorter than those with lower than average belief scores.

I love reading about this stuff. When people get sick, they often feel like they’ve lost control of their lives and their ultimate outcomes. This type of research shows that we – and something “higher” than us – have a lot more potential to personally impact our outcome, and our overall well-being, than most of us realize.

If you’d like to read a fascinating and highly persuasive book on this subject, check out Dr. Larry Dossey’s classic, The Power of Prayer and the Practice of Medicine. Dossey, an M.D., is one of the world’s top experts on the role of religion and spirituality in healing. In one of my favourite parts, he discusses our natural tendency to see illness as a type of curse or unwelcome affliction. When we get sick, we often ask “Why me?”, “Why did this happen?”, or “What did I do to deserve this?”.

According to Dossey, “there may be a higher purpose to the illness that we simply cannot grasp because we do not know the ways of the Absolute…the meaning of a particular disease may be opaque and hidden to us mortals, known only to the Divine. On balance, this warns against equating spiritual and physical health, and cautions us against attributing shallow, superficial meaning to all illness.”

In my personal and professional experience, when times get tough and hope seems obliterated by the dark, when my body or life seems to be letting me, or a patient of mine, down, it’s comforting to think that something bigger is at work, the benevolent logic of which may not be apparent for some time, if ever. The best part is that simply believing this to be true – which I do – seems to be all that’s required for me to enjoy the resulting benefits: acceptance, improved health, and peace of mind and spirit.

How to Win the Race Against Time

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 11:37:26 +0000

How do you feel about time? Do you feel you make the most of it? Do you waste it? Do you feel like it runs through your hands like slippery little grains of sand you’ll never get back?

Time used to get the best of me, until I discovered a simple system that revolutionized the way I spent, and planned, my days.

I don’t really like to plan much, and I historically have resisted anyone imposing any kind of schedule on my day. That’s part of why I moved a big portion of my life to Mexico: here, I’d finally be able to make each day my own. What heaven! My costs of living would be a lot lower, so I wouldn’t have to spend so much time working just to pay the bills.

The first couple of years, I commuted back and forth between Canada and Mexico. I worked hard as a doctor when I was in Canada, and relaxed and played and danced when I was in Mexico. I’d been burnt out by years of med school, residency, and clinic work, so it was exactly what I needed at the time.

Eventually I felt recharged, and started thinking about my dreams and purpose for my life again. I made goals for my writing, speaking and dance business, and felt excited about the prosperous meaningful future I was sure lay ahead, full of fulfilling action and success.
At first, nothing much happened. Why?
Because I didn’t do much.

I would have all kinds of sincere, passionate goals for my year, month, week and day – but would somehow always manage to get derailed.
Those of you who work 9 to 5 might have dreams and goals beyond your current work, but ask yourselves: How will I ever find the time, energy and motivation to them happen? You might also have goals within your current job, actions that might help you get that promotion or raise, but you feel like you always end up bouncing like a beach ball across your day.

As business philosopher Jim Rohn says: “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. It’s annoying, but true.
One day, in an online financial chat group, I came across a system that I thought might work. I use it every day to structure my day, and the results are just phenomenal, across all areas of my life.

On one page of a colourful ring notebook, I write the following sections (leaving about three lines for each):

1) Grow My Business (anything I do to attract new business or make new contacts)

2) Do My Business (tasks related to my businesses to keep things going day-to-day)

3) Personal Development (books, seminars, audio CD’s in my car etc.)

4) Financial (both day-to-day and financial growth)

5) Physical Health & Beauty (diet, exercise, physical self-care)

6) Emotional (pampering, time with friends and my husband)

7) Home Care (taking care of necessary chores to minimize home chaos!)

8) Spiritual (prayer, reading, etc.)

Each day I write the tasks relevant to each section, and having the various sections forces me to balance my day and not leave out what’s most important (I tend to focus on work and nothing else if left to my own devices!). I check each task as I do it, and refer back to the lists over the course of the day. If something needs to be done urgently, I star it, which reminds me to get to it first before doing more “fun” things.
When the tasks of a day or week seem overwhelming, this gives me a feeling of clarity, purpose, and calm. I no longer fear that I’ll waste my day or forget something important – or that life will pass me by as I’m working to meet deadlines and make my dreams happen.

And, I easily get three to four times as much done as I used to. My life is much more successful, and more balanced.

Give it a try, even just for a week. And make your own categories that match your goals, dreams, and daily life.

What starts out looking like an impossible list, will somehow get itself done. There’s magic to planning your day – when you make the effort to respect and plan your time, more time somehow miraculously appears! You’ll get it all done, and then some. And whatever you might have to miss, simply slides over to tomorrow’s list.

Here’s to the Time of Your Life!

Tired of Spinning Your Wheels? Ten Questions That Will Change Your Life Forever

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:51:00 +0000

I just came off the air from the Nik & Val Show on 1410 CFUN, here in Vancouver - what great hosts they are and they have such fun, inspiring topics, have a listen to them whenever you can: www.cfun.com , they're on every weekday morning from 9-12, you can also listen to them online. Just before I went on air, they were interviewing a 23 year old university student, Ben Nemtin, who made the most incredible list of items he wants to do before he dies ( see www.theburiedlife.com). We began my segment by talking about lists: I have a book of lists which I've been keeping for the last 10 years or so, each one about 25 items long (I must have 30 of these lists by now!), and I write a new list whenever my dreams and perspective on my life change. What's really fun is to go back later, and mark those items off!

I talked on the show about the fact that years ago, when I was going through the book "The Artist's Way", by Julia Cameron, I wrote a description of my ideal day, from morning to night. I would be living in an Italian oceanfront villa, with my gorgeous Italian husband, I'd get up in the morning, go for a walk on the beach, rehearse dance in my studio (perhaps give a private lesson or two), and then go to my office overlooking the ocean and work on my writing, marketing and other projects. I might go out with a friend for lunch in an outdoor cafe, and in the evening I'd go out for dinner with my sexy man and then we'd go out dancing...or, I'd perform in a flamenco show. Well, a little while ago I found the notebook that I wrote that "ideal day" in so many years ago...it's basically all come true, except for the fact that I'm living on the beach in Mexico, not Italy! And my gorgeous husband-to-be, Armando, is Mexican, not Italian. And yes, he dances - in fact, we teach salsa workshops in Cabo. So we even get paid when we go out dancing at night!

As I said on air today, it's funny how life will often give you a new improved version of your original dream, something that's much better for you in the long run. Being in Mexico lets me commute easily between Vancouver and Cabo, and I'm also allergic to wheat, so the pasta temptation would have been problem in Italy!

Nik and Val specifically asked me to give their listeners a place to review the critical life questions we'd discussed - the questions that, if you reflect on and answer them from a very authentic place deep within you, will truly guide you to your best life imaginable. In another blog I mentioned my "From Your Cells To Your Soul" Seven Life Levels that I write about and use to work with my coaching clients, but here I'm going to put a list of the ten specific questions that we discussed in the show today:

1) TIME: What do you really want to do with your time?

Look at your plans for today, this week, this month, this year? Does the way you’re spending your time fit with your longterm goals and dreams in your life? Unless you start tweaking your schedule, bit by bit, to honour those things that REALLY matter, you won’t be able to create the life of your dreams.

2) RELATIONSHIPS: Who do you really want to spend time with, who really adds to your life?

We’re creatures of habit, often we spend time with the same people simply because that’s what we’ve always done. The people around you mold you into what you’re becoming, right now. If you’re spending time with someone, think about it – would you want to become more like them, or not? If not, be conscious of the amount of precious time you spend with that person, and also look for some people to spend time with, who are closer to who you would like to be one day.

3) ACTIVITIES: What do you want to do more of? 4) What do you want to do less of?

Make a list of each of these two categories. Now, look at your schedule for the week or month, and see what you could delete and add, based on your answers to these two questions.

5) HEALTH: What’s the one big health change you could make that would make the most difference to your quality of life?

Once you’ve decided what that is, what is a way that you could start to make this change, in a way that would be enjoyable and realistic for you. Dramatic changes that require a lot of sacrifice won’t work.

6) SELF-IMAGE AND CONCEPT: Who do you want to become in the next year? 7) What do you want to change about yourself the most?

Imagine yourself 12 months from now – who would you like to be? More importantly, what steps would you have to take between now and then, to become that new you? Would you need to take a course, take a risk, take a trip…what do you need to do?

8) PURPOSE: If you could choose to get one thing out of this year, what would it be?

How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? Are you enthusiastic about your days? I used to have to drag myself out of bed, when I was “off-purpose”, doing the wrong thing with my life. Now that I’ve found my purpose, which is inspiring and helping others to live their dreams, I love my work so much that I have to force myself to get enough sleep and stop and eat and play! That’s how you feel when you’re on purpose.

9) VALUES AND PRIORITIES: If you suddenly found out this was the last year of your life, what would you do?

Besides racking up your credit card, of course! Who would you spend time with? What would you spend your time doing? You must begin to incorporate these very things, into your life now, if you want to live a life without regrets.

10) VALUES & PRIORITIES: What have you been putting off for “Someday” that you could do, instead, this year? Or this week?

The next time you hear yourself saying “yes, we should really do that,” or “I’d love to do that, someday”, find a way NOW to start doing it, even in the smallest of ways. Don’t say to a friend that you must get together more and then forget about it – plan that lunch now, even if it’ll be in April.
Make it happen, or life will pass you by. And no one likes that feeling! Even if you feel you’ve spent your life letting it pass you by, it’s never too late to make a start. In fact, I’d bet that right now is the perfect time for you.

How To Create Your Best Year Ever: The Seven Keys to Your Best Life

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:39:18 +0000

This Sunday I was interviewed by the wonderful Dr. Luise Light, former USDA Director of Dietary Guidance and Nutrition, on her show “Nutrition On The Line”, on WOOL FM in Vermont/New Hampshire. I was talking to her and her audience about the key aspects of my “Prescription For Your Best Life”, and she asked me if her readers could read more about this on my website. Well, I’ve been writing a book about these concepts, and I offer the collection of ideas as a topic for my speaking presentations…but I suddenly realized that my coaching clients and readers don’t have anywhere to read about this in more detail. Dr. Light asked me to promise to post this concept on my blog for her listeners, so here it is.

First of all, let’s talk a bit about the New Year. What better time to talk about how you’re going to make your life an authentic reflection of who you really are and who you want to become. Make this a year in which you’ll go for and live your dreams, in as many areas of your life possible: your health, relationships, career, passions and purpose. It’s a perfect time to clear the slate and let yourself see your vision of your ideal, most satisfying life, not someone else’s idea of what’s ‘best’ for you.

Forget those traditional resolutions that fizzle after a week or two. Don’t just run out and get a gym membership without looking at the reasons why, so far, you haven’t been able to make that change you dream of, or haven’t been able to become that you that you dream of. If you’re not passionate about the gym, or your reasons for being there, the changes won’t stick and you’ll end up feeling worse about yourself.

When I coach people, whether they want to work on their health, relationships, career, energy level, mood, or reaching their dreams, I always start by looking at the big picture. If your relationships are troubled, this often affects your health, career, mood and attitude towards your dreams. If you hate your work, you might be feeling burnt out, you might have health problems related to your work, or you might be grumpy when you get home to your significant other. Everything really does tend to affect everything else, so if you want to dramatically improve the quality of your life, even in just one area, I recommend that you look at it, and your goals, through these seven essential levels.

I call this process working “From Your Cells to Your Soul”, just like the book I’m working on with the same title.

o Nutrition: We all know what we’re supposed to be eating. Look behaviorally at how you eat. Do you skip meals when you’re working? Do you eat compulsively in response to uncomfortable emotions or situations? Do you eat because you’re bored? Or do you have unbalanced meals or cereal for dinner because you’re lazy? (by the way, I’ve done all of these!)
What would eating right look like for you? What small change can you make in that direction?

o Body: Get enough rest, and get moving. How do you treat your body, usually? Be kind to your body, honor it, and don’t abuse it. Listen to it when it wants to rest; take time for it when it gets sick. Resolve to honor your body this year.
What would honoring your body mean to you, this year? What small change can you make in that direction?

o Life: How much of the balance of your current life is authentically you, versus conforming to the demands of others or society? How does your life feel to you? What would you like more of, what would you like less of? What makes you cry? What are your dreams? What are your passions?
What would the ideal life balance look like for you? What small step can you take in that direction?

o Work: How do you feel about your work? Is it line with your values and dreams? Whose idea was it? Do you clock watch? How do you feel when you wake up in the morning?
What would your ideal work situation look like? What step can you take now, in that direction?

o Relationships: Do the people around you bring you up or down? Based on the people around you, who are you becoming? What important relationships are you neglecting? What are your goals and dreams as a family?
What kinds of relationships would you like to have, and which ones that you have now should you make more of a priority? What can you do, starting now, to move your life in this direction?

o Attitudes & Beliefs: How do you feel about life? What do you believe about yourself? If you encounter a setback, how do you handle it? What does it feel like to be you, inside your head?
What would be the most beneficial attitude or belief change for you, right now? This may seem a tough question, but listen to your instincts…I’m sure you already know. Start thinking the way you want to think (positive, optimistic, kind, forgiving, etc.), right now and work at being that way, every day.

o God /Spirituality: How do you see the spiritual aspect of your life? Spiritual practice has known health benefits. Spend time in nature. Pray, if you believe that it works (I sure do!). Do you have spiritual principles for interacting with people? For example, don’t be offended by what others say or do - for me, this is a spiritual practice. As is loving your neighbor as yourself, and loving the people who are hardest to love.
What thoughts, practices or actions would move your life in a spiritually more fulfilling direction? Start incorporating these aspects into your life, today. You don’t have to, every day, but over time you may find that the days that you start out on solid spiritual ground turn out to be your best.

I know this may seem like a lot to consider, but it’s so worth it. So often we go through life on automatic pilot, doing the same things, making the same mistakes, hanging out with the same people, going through the same routine…and wonder why we’re still not happy, or don’t seem to be getting any closer to our goals and dreams. Praying helps, writing out goals helps, envisioning a better future helps…but what really make it reality are the steady, loving, committed actions you take to improve your own life.

Please, if you have any questions about these areas, or want to share your thoughts, challenges or frustrations with me, don’t hesitate to write me through the “Contact” section of my website. All communications through that area are kept strictly confidential, and go directly to me. I’ll take time to answer you personally.

When I get discouraged, I remember a Mexican saying about ants…be like one, and step by step, you'll get the job done. Ants are so tiny, but they never stop or give up. Millimetre by millimeter, hour by hour, day by day, they make it happen. Seemingly out of nowhere, that big ant hill takes form. And you can build your beautiful, custom-designed mountain, too – it happens day by day. One small effort stacks on top of another, and then another, and then another. One day, you wake up, and you’re at the top! And oh what a beautiful view.

Have a great year!

Susan

Healthier, Wealthier, Wiser: The Miracle of a Good Book

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 23:52:22 +0000

Want to be wiser, richer, or more successful? Read more books!
What are you reading right now? Don’t worry, you don’t actually have to tell me (or maybe you could, it would be interesting to know!). Are you reading the kind of book you might stuff under a sofa cushion if a friend or someone you’d like to impress showed up at your home, unannounced?
I wrote this flying on the plane from Los Cabos to Vancouver. Whenever I travel, which is quite frequently, I take advantage of the fact that for several solid hours I’ll be captive and essentially alone, without much entertainment. I always carry on a couple of books that I’ve been meaning to read, but haven’t quite gotten around to.
This trip, I brought “Talent is Never Enough”, the Spanish version, by John Maxwell. The second is “How to Master the Art of Selling” by sales legend Tom Hopkins.

I bought the Maxwell book in Spanish, because although I’m already fluent, one of my goals is to develop a command of intellectual, literary Spanish, so that I can reach another of my goals, which is to present my talks in Spanish-speaking countries around the world. The “talent” aspect of the title has been a lifelong issue for me – I’m lucky enough to be good at a lot of things right from the start, without much training or experience. The dark side is that it often makes me lazy (because I can get away with it!), and I often don’t develop my abilities anywhere near to my full potential.

I’m reading the Hopkins book on sales because the old adage is true: All of life is sales. In Los Cabos I know a lot of salespeople, and it’s something else to see them in action. Sales is persuasion, which results from understanding people’s needs and wants. Salespeople work to remove the mental and emotional obstacles that prevent people from buying something they truly do need or want. Customers also ultimately need to see, and understand, why buying would benefit them.

If I want to make a positive impact on your life with this blog post, I need to be able to “sell” you on the idea that regularly reading high quality books is one of the most powerful (and simple) actions you can take to move you towards realizing the life of your dreams. The more effective I become at persuading people, the more positive effect I can have on your lives.

Back to books. I’ve been listening to and studying a lot of Jim Rohn’s work lately. He’s in his 70’s now, and was one of Anthony Robbins’ original mentors. Jim loves to say: “Success is something you attract by the person you become”. If you want to be more successful, work first at improving yourself, to make yourself worth more to the marketplace and everyone around you. One of the best and easiest ways to add value to you is to read more books.

Brian Tracy, another fabulous success and motivation teacher, suggests reading an hour, every day, ideally before you even start your work day. According to him, if you read a book every week that covers some area of excellence in your career or persona, you will quickly rise to the top of your field. A book a week means 52 in a year, can you imagine? It boggles my mind to think who I would become if I did this. I manage to read most mornings, now, and just finished a textbook on public speaking.

Jim Rohn also recommends that you make a list of books you’d like to read. I started my formal list a couple of days ago. I also have a little “ideas” notebook that I carry around with me all the time - if someone tells me about a great book, I make a note of it right then and there.

Be careful about what you put in your head. Who are you becoming, based on the books that you’re reading?
Yesterday, instead of reading a novel, I read an entire Conde Nast Traveler magazine, cover to cover, over lunch. It may not count as a "book" but oh, the things I learned! The places I discovered! It was fabulous. I also want to start reading more biographies, as they’re entertaining but also factual and a chance to learn about people and the world.

So will you accept my challenge, and start reading more?
Will you make a list of books that you’d like to read, and start on the first one?
Will you reflect on what you’ve been putting in your head, and ask yourself if it’s consistent with the person you want to become?
I’m going to end with a quote from Jim Rohn’s own mentor, Mr. Shoaf:
“The big question is: Are you reading the books that are going to take you where you want to go in the next five years?”
Let me know what you’re reading, and what you’d like to read. Have you got any great books you would recommend to me?

Six Secrets to Staying Healthy This Winter

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:00:00 +0000

I’ve recently been asked to be part of a wonderful new project, an exciting new Canadian national magazine that will be one of a kind in its market. I’ll tell you more when the first issue comes out, in May 2008, but for now I thought you might benefit from my research for one of their articles, which I just submitted. We’ve just gotten into the thick of cold and flu season, so here are some tips that will make a huge difference towards keeping you healthy.

Six Secrets to Staying Healthy This Winter:

Get enough sleep – which means at least 7 hours a night. Not getting enough sleep, whether it’s staying up all night one night, or just not getting enough sleep several days in a row, puts a serious damper on your immune system’s ability to fight off infection.
Eat well – make sure to get three solid meals in every day, which means each meal should contain a carbohydrate, a protein source, and a fruit or vegetable. Avoid sugary foods and drinks, as sugar has been shown to literally slow your immune cells down.
Exercise regularly. Exercise, even just going for a walk, pumps your circulation, and boosts your immune function. Just don’t go all out your first time, or just once a week, as your body actually perceives this as a stress, which can actually weaken your immune system.
Wash your hands – whenever you can (without being obsessive, of course!). Especially do this before eating. Be careful throughout the day, not to touch your mouth or nose with your hands, as this is how bugs (e.g. viruses and bacteria) get into your body.
Have fun – Laughter and positive social interaction are both great for your immune system. Spend time this holiday season with people you love and people that make you laugh. Take part in things that make you feel like a kid – make silly Christmas cookies (a friend and I did this once, we made gingerbread men and women that looked like our friends and were laughing so hard we could barely squeeze the icing on), try ice skating at the outdoor rink, anything that helps you forget about the stresses of the day and the season.
See your doctor if that cold isn’t going away - I usually don’t like to prescribe anything for colds, as rest and healthy fluids and foods are usually better than any medicine. But if it’s been a few days and you’re just not getting better, or you’re coughing up green phlegm, or you’ve had a steady fever, or your whole body has felt tired and achy for more than a few days, get in to see a doctor before your situation becomes more chronic and may be harder to treat.

I hope that helps! No one likes to get sick, and you’re really not helpless among the coughing, sneezing masses – just because they’re all around you, doesn’t mean at all that you’re doomed to it, too. Look after yourself this season, and have a great one!

Susan Biali