There’s a lot of work that goes into growth, evolution, and transformation – the gifts we get from taking the Heroine’s Journey. The journey is not a “walk in the park.” We have to enter the Abyss every now and then.

Not on every journey but when “stuff” is ready to come up, then the Heroine goes into the Abyss – into the dark, into the shadow, into whatever you want to call it (within us) where we keep burying what we consider to be the ugly pieces of ourselves because we think they’re just too bad to deal with or too challenging or too scary – or even worse, we’re ashamed of them.

Sometimes it’s not until we get some clues and start to do some digging that we even become aware that there’s something that needs paying attention to. Luckily, Dragons make a lot of disruption in our lives (oh yeah!) so eventually, we’re forced to deal with them.

The Dragon On Your Heroine’s Journey

We go on many Heroine’s Journeys in our lifetime and not everyone has a Dragon to deal with. I’ve met several of mine. And don’t confuse Dragons with the more surface, yet very annoying, Threshold Guardians. Dragons are deeply held beliefs about yourself that drive your actions and shape your life. They are more powerful than the negative thoughts of the Threshold Guardians.

They’ve been with you for a while and usually, they get buried inside of you during childhood. You hear something from the trusted voice of an adult and you believe it without question. As young children, we often misinterpret the messages we receive from those around us. Our adult selves would know better but the Dragon guards us deep within and she doesn’t get the memo that we’ve grown up and things are different for us.

You can rest assured, dear Heroines, that accepting a Call to write a book will bring out a Dragon – or two – every time! Here’s the Dragon I encountered while writing mine.

Encountering My Own Dragon

“All of these Dragon killings and threshold crossings have to do with getting past being stuck.” Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers, The Power of Myth

It’s February 2014. A Dragon’s around the corner and I can smell the acrid smoke. I shouldn’t be surprised. This is The Heroine’s Journey after all! For three months the writing of my book has been sporadic. My family visited from afar. I had grandchildren to play with; then Christmas to get through; then another grandchild is born and warrants a visit to Salt Lake City and then there’s the conference in New York…

Jack, my book writing coach, sends an email with the Subject: Hmmmmmmmmmm…

Contrite, I call him. I have what I think are good excuses – in reality, they’re huge distractions from my quest to write a book. Holiday, Family, Travel…Work….and then there’s the Band (I haven’t told you about the band. There can be great surprises that come up on The Road to Adventure, what Campbell calls “preliminary victories, unretainable ecstasies and momentary glimpses of the wonderful land.” I’ve joined a neighborhood band and have an incredible amount of fun playing the keyboard with them. I’ve never been in a band before. We’ve been playing out, having gigs. I’m singing in one tomorrow night. The band is a gift of my journey.)

Jack asks, “Is this book a priority or not?” Me, “Yes.”

“Then you need to look at what’s happening. This is the last third of the book. This is when things can go bad when people leave their books. You need to ask yourself what’s happening here. You need to dig deep.”

Being In The Abyss

He means it and I know he’s right. I know about digging deep and I’m not afraid of it. I know about the journey and that Dragons are expected. This is why I’ve come to this point. There is something I have to learn or acknowledge this time around the heroine’s journey. Like a mirror reflecting what you most need to see, the journey raises it, mirroring your “stuff” back to you.

I’m in the Abyss. (This doesn’t mean I’m depressed, just going deep, allowing buried stuff to surface.) This is the dark inner cave, the place where we all need to go if we want to grow. It’s where we meet what Jungian psychologists call the Shadow. In many ways, I was hoping I wouldn’t need to go here but of course, every journey, if it’s a meaningful and significant one, has its Abyss, the lair of the Dragon. The dragon in fairy tales sits on the treasure, guarding the priceless jewels. It is the perfect metaphor for what actually happens when our fear or shame causes us to withhold any part of ourselves.

What Do Dragons Represent?

So, what does my Dragon represent this time? What’s the pattern, the old belief, the stuck energy I have to address? These are the parts that have resisted all my best efforts to ignore or grow beyond them. These fears are my underground treasures. For me to access them, bring them to the light, disperse them for once and for all…I have to face them.

So, I do what I suggest to my clients. I draw a picture of my Dragon and I have my Dragon write me a letter. (Drawing, painting, finding a way to use the right side of your brain can get to a problem in a way that using your “logical” left brain, can’t.) I want to get to know this Dragon and understand it. Maybe then I can find a way, get a clue as to how to get her to (finally) let go of my treasure.

Summoned by my writing and drawing, my Dragon appears, rising up in my consciousness. It’s as though she knows it’s finally her time in the spotlight. “She’s” (meaning me) “ finally giving us a moment.”, she’s a bit sarcastic, my dragon.

We have our letter exchange and the bottom line is this – what I learned from her – it’s about me, being me…authentic.

Really?
What?
Me, the coach, who wants everyone to be themselves? What? I’m not true to me?

“No, not always.” She tells me.

And even though I’ve done a lot of work in this area already, I realize it’s my old “good daughter of the matriarch” story.

My Beginnings

My mother loved me deeply, unreservedly. She wanted the best for her daughter and was determined to get it for me. Her ideas for me weren’t always what I might have wanted, but at a point early on, I don’t even remember when, I lost the distinction between what I really wanted and what she wanted for me. I came to choose what she wanted, thinking it was what I wanted. And that worked most of the time, for her and me.

I deferred to her, accommodated her way. I leaned on her, waiting for her opinion to surface, and then adopted it. Her eyes perused my work (including my writing!) and me and once corrected, I felt ready. It was a strong dependency.

Our unspoken agreement-

Me — “I’m OK if you say I am.”
Mother — “I know what’s best and thankfully you’re doing it, my pliable daughter.”

But, in fact, in time, I wasn’t that pliable. Once I left home, I did what I wanted, all the things she didn’t approve of (drinking, smoking cigarettes, dating all the inappropriate guys) and I just didn’t tell her. There I was, in all appearances, being the good daughter and in fact, I wasn’t one at all. Well, I wasn’t what she considered to be a good daughter.

Is That Wrong?

I felt disloyal to her and to me. I knew I wasn’t being true to myself. Besides, who I thought was “me” — doing what I wanted behind my mother’s back — was more a rejection of my mother rather than me just being me.

And back then, if you had asked me to be me, I couldn’t have told you where my mother ended and I began. Who was “me”, anyway?

Obligingly, life, the journey, brings us the challenge (the Dragon) over and over again until we finally address it. What has to be healed won’t go away. For me, I’d keep meeting up with strong-willed women who wanted things to happen their way and I would clam up. I’d defer, accommodate and not speak up. I kept meeting my mother…in various forms. I began to see this pattern and question where it was coming from. (Note: this is “the work” of every heroine – uncovering what needs to be healed. Looking for patterns.)

I was clearly seeing my “mother stuff” better than ever before and now the remnants of my strong dependency was affecting the completion of my book. Who would read over what I had written and give me advice? (Did I mention my mom was an English teacher?) Could I complete something of this magnitude, a book, without her OK (and accompanying corrections)?

I could. Seeing this, writing about this, things began to shift within me. When you see what’s been buried and acknowledge it, slowly it begins to lose its power over you. I was shining a light on what I’d been hiding and was ashamed of. The healing had begun and with it came release and relief.

The Freedom To Live

Campbell called the next phase of the journey, the Freedom to Live. Yes! That is such a good name for reclaiming yourself from whatever has been holding you back and not allowing you to be yourself. The Freedom to Live fully as YOU.

Meet your dragons, Heroines. Get to know them and heal whatever it was that created them. This undoubtedly takes courage. Some people would rather go into physical battle (or overeat, or over-drink or anesthetize themselves in some way) than explore what’s going on within their own psyche. But this is the work that will ensure our actions are the right ones for us. Yes, you can always leave your Dragons alone in the dark, but the freedom you achieve by releasing them is one of the big gifts of the Heroine’s Journey.

Here are the ideas my team and I put together and some from the women in my Real-Life Heroines Network on Facebook (come join us there!) that were offered. I hope they make you and the people on your gift list, happy, too! Happy Holidays, Heroines

*Note*: In full transparency, some of these gifts are affiliate links. While you won’t pay a penny more, I may make a commission from sales.

Gifts For The Young Heroines (& Heroes) In Your Life

Shopping for your child, a niece or nephew, or really any kid in your life? Try these gifts!

The Hero’s Journal: Give Your Goal a Quest

These guys have a lot of fun with the Hero’s Journey.

A Mighty Girl

This website has the best books for inspiring young heroines to be their most amazing
selves. Check out their holiday ideas – they’re wonderful!

FeministPencils

Look at this pencil set celebrating (just a few of) the amazing women of black history, and their indelible legacies. 50% of all the shop’s proceeds go to charities that champion women from all walks of life. The Black Women of History’s pencil set will help raise donations for Black Women’s Blueprint.

Super Smalls

Can we just say “Sparkle?!?” You’re going to want to borrow these gems from your little heroine friends!!

Kikkerland Solar-powered Rainbow Maker

My mother always used to tell me that seeing rainbows meant good fortune – now you can see them inside, too. They have a video if you want to see them in action.

Journey Dolls

It’s never too early to introduce the Heroine’s Journey to the girls in your life. (They could probably teach you as the world has provided them with many examples…Greta Thunberg, Moana, Hermoine, and my fav, Dorothy!) Here’s a great doll to accompany them on their journey.

Gifts For The Women You Love

Psssttt…. that means you, too, Heroine! Check out these gifts.

Hand Painted Guides

Dolls aren’t just for kids! Look at these beautiful Traveler – Journey Guides, hand painted and crafted by Susan Barnes. She sells them in Markings Gallery in Bath, Maine. I have one (of course!) and I love her.

Slow Feeder Dog Bowl

I’m putting pet stuff in the women’s list because we all know we women usually are the pet moms, too. My friend, Jeanne, got me – well, my dog, Max — a bowl like this and it has changed his eating from one gulp to several! They really work if you want to slow your doggie down so he or she actually tastes what you’re feeding them!

Tap-Fit!

Who says it’s too late to learn how to tap dance? They send you a little dance mat, taps to put over your shoes, and DVDs and you’re ready to start practicing for Riverdance!! Well, that was my vision – but I’m still learning and have a ways to go before I can try out!! It’s for you if you love to mix some dance in with your exercise.

Phenomenal Woman Glasses

For those of you who love Maya Angelou and her words that inspire us to remember we’re phenomenal… grab these glasses that remind you every day.

Chatbooks

I am always creating photo books and photo gifts because, well…I love to have them around so I remember all my good memories. Here’s an easy way to gift Chatbooks to those you love and to yourself.

Wonder Woman Artwork

We all need this because the world doesn’t often help us remember! You are a wonder
woman reminder!

Handcrafted Jewelry

This is beautiful jewelry created by women who have been through the fire and come out the other side – true Heroines. Learn more on their website – where you can also make a donation.

Cosmetic Bag With A Message

We love this Heroine’s poetry and her light. Give this gift to someone who needs to
remember the light – in herself.

This Day In History Boxed Calendar

This boxed calendar helps us remember the Heroines who have journeyed before us.

Dorothy Medallion

Remember what Glinda said to Dorothy? You had the power all along.

Hero’s Journey Dream Oracle

These are beautiful cards. Draw one every day to get guidance for your Heroine’s Journey.

Dorothy Wizard Of Oz Pin Brooch

Here’s our reminder – these shoes might not literally be on our feet with their magic three-clicks to take us home. But that magic is inside of us, our intuition helps us get to where we want to go. Have this pin as your reminder.

Zero Waste Gift Box

Be an Earth Hero(one!). This gift box introduces the receiver (and giver) to basic ways to
make a difference on this beautiful planet of ours.

Recommendations from our own Facebook Group, The Real-Life Network Heroines

Kat’s Recommendation

How about Pashminas? The gypsy version of a “Heroines Cape” – Heroines need capes, too.

Amanda’s Recommendation

A Dreams and Goals Journal – here’s one I found that looks interesting. You can also try this fun journal.

Amanda also suggested this great idea: A weekend in a yurt (or wherever) to use as a
writing or self-care retreat. This is glamping at its best!

Eva’s Recommendation

These are absolutely the best skincare products! Especially for aging skin. I’ve never used such great products for sensitive skin.

Tracy’s Recommendation

I love this book title. I think it may be required reading for Heroines. “Rejected Princesses: Tales of History’s Boldest Heroines, Hellions, and Heretics” by Jason Porath.

Choose To Donate!

I’m going to end with some great non-profits (also in our Real-Life Heroines Group) that
would be happy to have your donation.

Stop Trafficking US

You can donate here. You can also check out my podcast for my interview with Catherine Ann Wilson.

MaineWorks

You can donate to MainWorks here. Margo Walsh and her sister, Elaine, have helped the
previously incarcerated find dignity, a place in the world, again – and a job! I also interviewed Margo for my Real-Life Heroines Podcast.

“Two years ago, I was invited to the white house — they wanted me to come to talk about what I had to say about childhood sexual abuse prevention. And I did.” – Catherine Ann

Episode Highlights

02:40 Introducing Catherine Ann.

09:04  How does child abuse happen and what can we do to stop it?

22:00  Catherine Ann shares her story and Heroine’s Journey.

51:43  How Catherine Ann opened the doors for conversation about child sex trafficking.

Get To Know Catherine

Catherine Ann Wilson spent almost 20 years surviving abuse and sex trafficking.

The next 20 years were spent doing what she calls “surviving the surviving” and “getting up to zero”. She focused on healing, daring to dream, and in fact reaching those dreams earning a six-figure income despite never having gone to HS.

Always giving back but never sharing her private past until she was nearly 50, volunteering at a local juvenile correctional facility. It was there that the realization that if she chose to… her story could help others understand the domino effect of child abuse and child sexual exploitation…and hopefully motivate people to help stop it from happening in the first place. With the blessing of her family and friends, Catherine stepped out in a very powerful way.

Catherine founded Stop Trafficking ME in 2015, now known as Stop Trafficking US, with the goal of stopping grown-ups from sexually exploiting children. Over the last 6 years Catherine has provided support groups for girls incarcerated, sex-trafficked survivors with weekly zooms bringing in guest speakers from around the world, providing home and personal supplies to the two homes for survivors in Maine. These homes connect donors with survivors in need of tuition, dentures, car repairs, and more. Catherine helped to supply the largest single donation of Christmas toys in the history of Maine’s child welfare programs when Toys for Tots couldn’t.

In 2019, Catherine was asked by the White House to attend and participate in a brainstorming session regarding sex trafficking, and she was invited back to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Anti-Sex Trafficking Act. She also collaborated with the state of Maine in presenting to the state of Maine Department of Education. She raised the funds needed to give a three-day child abuse prevention conference to the state of Maine free of charge.

Catherine was named one of Maine’s 2019 Outstanding Women. Last March 2021, Catherine collaborated with the State of Maine Department of Education and Safety is offering a 3-day virtual training… she educated 690 teachers, social workers, and prosecuting attorneys.

Catherine is proud to be on the committee of Cumberland County’s Child Advocacy Center and the University of NH Crimes Against Children Research Labs Project and provides support to best practices of law enforcement in dealing with sex-trafficked minors.

Catherine’s hope for spring 2022 is a three-day training on vicarious trauma for first responders and all those in contact with children in Maine.

Visit Catherine’s Website

Learn More On Her Facebook Page

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Join Other Heroines On Their Journeys

I should have known this was coming. Give in to one and then there’s another knocking at your
door. Way back in the beginning of August, I let the Threshold Guardians have their say.

Seriously, it’s almost impossible not to let them as they’re always doing their infernal chattering:

You can’t write about that. Who do you think you are? You’re not qualified. Do you even have a degree?

But, they were so insistent, as always, I let them be my guest blogger on August 3rd. And now this…

Well, Glinda is certainly a different story. Here, let’s just let her say what she wants to say…

Meet Glinda, My Own “The Fairy Godmother”.

Hey! Glinda, here.

Yes, that Glinda. The Good Witch, of the North. No, not like the Game of Thrones’ “Queen of the North”. That would be Sansa Stark. I mean The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum, Good Witch of the North, me – Glinda.

Sort of like, Mary Poppins, Nanny McPhee, Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother…I’m part of
that bunch.

Joseph Campbell, the dude who studied myths and fairy tales called us “magical helpers.” That works, sure – but I like The Fairy Godmother.

A Bit About Me

I know. That’s only in books you scoff…well, just suspend your disbelief for a moment. People like me always show up in a heroine’s life when our main character (that would be you) gets stuck or lost, or turns down some meandering path – or is just standing there, clueless, at a threshold crossing. We’re watching, shaking our heads, and thinking “Just what is she doing?”

Mary’s going, “It’s time to get the umbrella out and float on down.” Nanny M. is going, “Where’s my staff? I’m going to have to pound it soon enough!” Cinderella’s godmother
is looking around for her wand and is still dressed in her ugly old crone persona.

I will be honest and tell you I don’t look like the movie version of Glinda. Don’t get me wrong — I love that look, especially the crown! And the dress! Love the dress! The voice…not so much. Yes, I’m more like Frank Baum’s book Glinda and I’m OK with that.

“The little woman’s hat was white, and she wore a white gown that hung in plaits from her shoulders; over it were sprinkled little stars that glistened in the sun like diamonds…her face was covered with wrinkles, her hair was nearly white and she walked rather stiffly.”

Where The Fairy Godmother Comes In

We also show up when the magic quotient of the world goes way down. I mean, when the ratio of people who believe in magic is far less than the people who don’t believe. We’re hovering around 28% (oops, it just went down to 27.5%!). It hasn’t been that low since the Industrial Revolution kicked off and machines became the answer to everything.

The balance, again, has really tipped in favor of the material – all those things you can see and touch but what about the unseen? Can you possibly think there is only the material?

Magic is what keeps your world running and humming and connected and working. It has different names. Nature runs on magic! Some call it Love, some call it Divine Power, Synchronicity, Intuition, Coincidence…regardless, it needs to be used and acknowledged and thanked.

We need to engage with magic to keep it alive and working in the world and inside of us. Magic is sending you a call and it’s time for you to pay attention.

Are You Ready For A Change?

I’ve been reading the clues you (unwittingly) left for me: you are watching way too much Netflix. (Though binge-watching The Queen’s Gambit is entirely acceptable in my book.
Talk about a Heroine!)

You’re frustrated with Zoom, missing the human connection. Everything you write on Facebook sounds dumb to you. All your friends seem to be doing way better than you. Your job feels like a dead-end and you are thinking maybe they’re letting me go.

Ugh. You’re having more than one “two glasses of wine” nights. Having the kids home was great at first but then they – and just about everything else, became such a huge distraction and you’re feeling resentful. You don’t like feeling this way. Your world seems upended, turned around – and shaken.

Honey, it’s going to be OK.

That’s Where A Fairy Godmother Comes In

So, I show up. Sometimes I’m the old bag lady who has a word or two for you as she passes you on the street. I might be so ugly you cross to the other side to avoid me and then miss my message. What’s that saying? Be sure to welcome strangers as you may be unaware that you’re entertaining angels – or something like that! (You do entertain angels – all the time!)

Sometimes I send you the words of a song that seem to drop in on you in the car even though you were hardly listening. Or maybe I’m that stranger in the supermarket that strikes up a conversation in the ice cream aisle and says something that just tilts your perception of things a bit and then isn’t it funny that you don’t run into her in another aisle or at the check-out?

Well, this time, I’m being more direct. You need an intervention, something more “in
your face”. So here I am, dear Heroine. But we need a more modern update since you’ve grown up, quite a bit.

Let’s Start Your Journey

I’m here to help you find your very own yellow brick road. I’m here to help, to support, to guide you on this leg of your journey. I’ve been watching and I think you’re losing yourself, again. You’re losing yourself in the hustle and bustle; in the overwhelm of the daily grind.

You’ve given in to what others want for you. You are putting your nose to the grindstone, quieting that inner voice, and pushing on, doing your duty, what you should be doing. You’re caring for a lot of folks.

You’re putting out — what are you giving to you? I bet you’re thinking you’ll have plenty of
time for what you want, later.

But here’s the thing…you’ve been given a gift. A very unique gift — just for you. This life
you’re living. You see, it’s a miracle that you’re here at all and along with each breath, each second unfolding, there’s another miracle, right there, under your nose. Yes, it’s called the present moment and it’s malleable.

You can use it to create life as you’d like it to be for you. But you’re just so busy. You’re letting it – your amazing gift of life — take a back seat.

I know you do it because of the very nature of life. It’s challenging, very challenging. I don’t want you to think I haven’t noticed how hard it has been for you at times. I’ve watched and loved you through it. I hope you felt my love and support. It was all around you. It always is, actually.

But the amazing thing is – the hard stuff is what it’s all about. The challenges, Dear One,
are what creates the magnificent (and yes, hard) adventure which is what grows you up
into your full Self – with a capital S!

It’s Hard Making A Change

But it’s scary sometimes to be your big self so you like to stay right where you are, where
you’re familiar with the terrain. It also helps you stay safe so you don’t get noticed in case you say or do the wrong thing. You find your small corner of the world and you nest there. (We call this the Comfort Zone in my world.)

You get into watching reruns of your favorite shows or carpooling your kids to game after game or working late hours or whatever it is you do to distract yourself from paying attention toyour journey and the steps you’re taking, or not taking, to fulfillment, to your fullest flowering.

Now, I need to talk fast because there are others besides me that aren’t that helpful. Have you heard of the Threshold Guardians? Their purpose is at odds with my purpose. They are most comfortable when you’re staying put and not thinking about growing and changing and birthing yourself into your heroine self. No, my lovely!

Let’s Talk About Threshold Guardians

They don’t like you to entertain any of those thoughts! They’ll come around like the evil queen in Snow White (really, weren’t those long fingernails a dead giveaway?) and give you something to help you fall back asleep, to help keep you distracted from finding your true brilliance.

They want you to buy into the message that you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not young enough….just not enough of whatever it takes to follow your dreams. They want you to just bite the damn apple and fall back asleep.

The Threshold Guardians could be an evil queen, your friends, your husband, your boss, your mother — any number of folks that want to keep you safe, small, making people happy, following their guidance instead of your own heart.

“You’re expecting too much out of life, sweetie, things are good for you now. Be happy with what you’ve got. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.” My job is to give you the silver slippers and have you put them on your feet. Yes, they’re silver. The movie guys made them ruby. Here, put them on. They are yours.

Put On Your Slippers

No, of course, I don’t tell you how to use them. You’ve got to figure that out for yourself. Pray, meditate, walk in the woods… Everyone connects to the spiritual in their own way. I’m just telling you this support is here and to not avail yourself of it is, well…silly.

I know you’re a real-life Heroine and not a film Heroine. You can’t put on magic slippers. But what I’m trying to explain, from my world to yours, is that there is a power inside of you. And, if you nurture your connection with it, then you’ll have access to some pretty amazing wisdom that will help you in your life, on your journey.

The slippers represent this unseen power. This support is here for you. I’m part of it. OK, then – you’ve got my message, so now what? Ah, the path, the yellow brick road. Well, that’s easy.

Follow The Path Of The Heroine’s Journey!

“What?”

The Heroine’s Journey. That’s the path. That’s the way you have to go. See, up there, over the hill. Can you see that gate, in amongst those gray stones? Yes, that’s the one, with the pink roses all over it. Watch the thorns. That’s the way. Just go through the gate. It will be there…the threshold…the beginning of your journey.

You have to cross over the threshold. It’s the way to your next adventure; your next “stretch” or “leap” for you as a developing human being. What? You don’t know why? Well, to answer your call. Right, your call. You wouldn’t be here listening to me if you hadn’t received a call.

What’s the call? Well, the call to expand, to grow, to move into your fuller self. It may be your soul calling you to be fully you. It’s different for everyone. Did you just have some illness or accident that jangled you enough so that you started to pay attention?

I don’t know what it was for you, everyone’s call is different, but I know that I wouldn’t be here if you were still sound asleep – like those that don’t even know they’re on a journey and that it’s important and they need to be awake, conscious and paying attention!

So go…with my blessing. No, I can’t come right now…just go ahead without me. I’ll check in with you later. But don’t worry, you’ll meet helpers along the way. It’s OK. You have to go through this part alone. It’s your journey. You have to take that first step by yourself.

The Fairy Godmother Says Open The Gate

Yes, that’s right, that’s the gate. You might have to shove it a bit. Bye, dear… see you later. This is your story. You’ll have to wear what you’ve got. I think you look great, just right. Sure, flip-flops are fine. And I don’t know about any prince. You’re about to start on your heroine’s journey.

It’s the journey to find your one true self, not your one, true prince – that’s someone else. Maybe he’ll appear but be careful, you want to know your one true self, first, and what she wants before you go hooking up with some prince because before you know it you’ll be
distracted again and have forgotten about your path, “your one, wild and precious life” – as the poet, Mary Oliver, another fairy godmother, calls it.

Can you see the gate? The roses are there, too – and the thorns. Ready to cross?

Episode Highlights

06:29 Why your journey on the map may look different than what I’ve shown.

8:28  Why this leg of the journey is called “The Belly of the Whale”, and what it means for you.

14:01 What happens after The Belly of the Whale and the route you’ll take with your inner knowing.

Important Links

Learn more about the map here.

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Join Other Heroines On Their Journeys

How My Obsession With The Heroine’s Journey Began

Let me tell you about how my obsession with the Heroine’s Journey began and see if you can recognize the Call part! (This is excerpted and adapted from my book, You Are a Heroine: A Retelling of The Hero’s Journey).

Meanwhile, one of the many assignments for the coaching program at The Hudson Institute was to write a final paper and present it to the class by the end of the year. We had to choose our topic and vet it with our school-assigned coach by midyear. It was August and so far, I had no topic.

Of course, it had to be about coaching, and the particular perspective we would bring to the field. Some of my ambitious, way more organized classmates had already written their papers and presented them in our July session.

Always the procrastinator, I couldn’t seem to get motivated to start the paper. To make matters worse, I couldn’t even figure out what I wanted to write about.

But Then It Came To Me…

Out of the blue— how many times do we use that phrase when serendipitous forces are at play? — a friend called to tell me that the next day a woman was going to speak about The Wizard of Oz in a town up the coast from me.

“Susanna,” my friend said, “this speaker shows how the story The Wizard of Oz fits into the pattern of the Hero’s Journey as Joseph Campbell wrote about it. She’s good. I know how much you like The Wizard of Oz. You should come.”

I didn’t want to. The weather was unbearably hot and the presentation was an hour away. But the idea stayed with me. It wouldn’t go away even after I tried to reason it away, what with the heat, the distance… oh, yeah, and the awful tourist traffic!

True, I loved The Wizard of Oz. (After all, I had named my women’s workshop and retreat company “Ruby Slippers.”) But I had worked all day and I knew next to nothing about Joseph Campbell. Couldn’t I just sit at home?

This Was Part Of My Call

Apparently, I couldn’t. I drove up the coast—heat, traffic and all. Listening to the speaker, Sally Landsburg, talk about Joseph Campbell and the Hero’s Journey was life-changing for me. This was the first time I had seen the Hero’s Journey laid out and relayed in detail.

Sally explained the milestones of Dorothy’s Journey:

•The tornado? It brings Dorothy into Oz. She’s Crossing the Threshold and entering on her Journey into the unknown.

•Toto? That’s Dorothy’s intuition. He guides her, always leading her to the next step.

Sally’s use of The Wizard of Oz as her example of a Hero’s Journey couldn’t have been more meaningful to me, especially since it was the story that I used with my workshop attendees to talk about our own lives.

I learned that the Hero(ine)’s Journey is the underlying theme in the books and movies that I like the most: those in which the main characters transform. And Campbell laid out the path of transformation! It connected the dots for me… my love of literature, transformation, and the yellow brick road of growth that we all have within us. I felt a little awestruck as I watched different parts of my life connecting together!

Why I Became A Life Coach: My A-ha Moment!

It was an a-ha moment for me. And here I was, studying to be a coach to help others have those same a-ha moments that would transform their lives! “Serendipitous” doesn’t even begin to describe it.

I also knew I had found the topic for my final paper: how can we, as coaches, help clients see their Hero(ine)’s Journey? For me, the model of the Heroine’s Journey had become the basic tool in the transformative process of coaching. I was inspired!

And then came yet another moment of great serendipity. I was required, as part of the coaching certification program, to find a Hudson Institute coach who would coach me for the rest of the program. I approached the Hudson president, sharing with her my newfound passion for the Heroine’s Journey and my decision to make it the topic for my final paper.

She immediately recommended Dr. Pat Adson, a psychologist and author who was equally passionate about the Hero’s Journey, to be my coach. Then and there, I was matched with the perfect person to guide me down this new path that was unfolding under my feet in a very yellow brick road–like way.

Why I Became A Life Coach: The End Of The Program

At the end of the program, the reviewers at Hudson gave me high marks for my paper and accompanying presentation, which, of course, I called “Finding My Own Ruby Slippers.” Looking back with the wisdom of hindsight, I recognize that that paper planted the seed for this book.

With the program behind me, I put all that I had learned into action as I continued to grow my consulting and executive coaching business (Liller Consulting, LLC) and my women’s workshops and retreats business (Ruby Slippers, LLC). I saw clearly that my life and the lives of all those people around me were also examples of individuals living the Heroine’s (and Hero’s) Journey. We were all living this inspiring and transformational pattern!

In my coaching, I knew that I could talk about life challenges and never mention the Heroine’s Journey, but I came to realize that there is power in knowing, and seeing oneself in, the Heroine archetype. Why did those ancient storytellers continue to tell this tale of an ordinary person who leaves the village to go on an adventure and who returns with something that benefits all, if it wasn’t to illustrate important life principles?

I wanted women to recognize this and see the Heroine’s Journey as:

•a meaningful guide to use as they follow their intuition and try what they haven’t before (even if it’s small).

•a lens to view life’s challenges as necessary because those challenges develop the individual. It’s about finding the lessons and seeing the gifts in every situation.

•an invitation to eventually discover or uncover their unique gifts, reaping the rewards if they take the Journey.

The Heroine archetype so deeply resonated with me that, frankly, I just had to share it with other women. I couldn’t stop talking about it (and obviously haven’t stopped talking about it!) There had been so many times in my own life that I had left the comfort of the known and leaped into the unknown.

I was still doing it! I saw how the risks I had taken made me a much more confident woman. I wanted other women to experience that same awareness. I was determined that every woman would know about the Heroine’s Journey! And that, my friends, was the Journey that led to writing this book.

I wrote my book over a period of five years. I was still business consulting, working with groups in conflict, facilitating meetings large and small. I would find times to write, then put it aside for sometimes months, then pick it up again. I was compelled to get it down and share what I had learned. So many times during that period I doubted what I was doing. It was a constant refrain in my head – sometimes in the forefront and then more quietly playing in the background – but certainly ever-present. But I kept at it. Frankly, I couldn’t stop.

Why I Became A Life Coach (& Some Lessons)

So, here in 2021, three years later, I am grateful for whatever/whoever it was that initiated the planting of the message into me and assisted me in getting it out. I know I’m still being guided. As I keep saying, I’m not done yet!

Pat Adson, my wonderful Hudson coach, author of Depth Coaching, Discovering Archetypes for Empowerment, Growth, and Balance, – one of my many mentors who had a profound effect on me and my journey, passed away this year. I miss her.

I want to end this blog post with a quote from her book:

“The myth of the hero’s journey provides a map that shows the integration of various developmental theories and enables us to consider all of these elements as a coherent whole. The myth applies to every adult and tells the universal story of human development – the natural history of our species. Each person recapitulates the journey many times – longitudinally (across the life span) and cyclically (within phases of our lives). Every time we leave the familiar behind, we begin a new journey. Every life transition is a potential journey.”

My Inspiration

Can you see why she inspired me? The hero/heroine myth is still with us for a reason. It has a huge message for each of us – answer your call. Go on your journey. You will develop and grow!

I love “getting a Call” stories and I invite you to share yours with me. In my podcast, The Podcast for Real-Life Heroines, I’m always interested in starting at “the Call point”…”What got you to this place? What was your Call?”

Oh, and just so you know – we get many in our lifetime. I’m thinking if you’ve somehow found your way to what I’m writing to you today – you might be getting one now!

“I told my husband, I’m going to make prunes sexy.” – Rhayne Thomas

Episode Highlights

01:21 Introducing Rhayne Thomas.

10:49  Rhayne talks about her first few leaps, and how she went from fight or flight to living life.

21:30  How Rhayne became the “Prune Queen”.

33:25  Southern-isms and how they made Rhayne write a book.

Get To Know Rhayne

Rhayne was born and raised a Bronx, NY girl with a serious passion for fun, healing and laughter. She is a Blues vocalist, actor, author and voluntary spokesperson/fundraiser for cancer and breast cancer since 1976. Rhayne’s main focus is making others feel alive through her voice and sense of humor which lead her to create her all around wellness company, “PrunesAreSexy!” over 15 years ago.

Anyone who knows Rhayne knows she is an “experience junkie” because she believes the world is full of wonderful things that everyone should see, feel, do and eat and she doesn’t want to miss anything. Rhayne immerses herself in fun every chance she gets and doesn’t mind dragging others in for the excitement! 

Rhayne is a 10 year breast cancer survivor and continues to inspire others through her love of life and all it has to offer!

Visit Rhayne’s Website

Purchase Rhayne’s Books

Check Rhayne Out On Instagram and Twitter

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Start Your Own Heroine’s Journey

Join Other Heroines On Their Journeys

Are you on the yellow brick road? Are you getting a Call…no, not that kind! I’m talking about the kind that upends your life – that shakes you up and ultimately, changes you — the kind that evolves you more into your “heroine-self”.

Receiving The Call

Calls are definitely hard to put a finger on — how they happen, and when. Most usually they begin as something inside of you: a thought that won’t leave you; a feeling that grows stronger over time…and sometimes they arrive as a clear injunction as in, “Go and do this!”

Calls usually let you know when it’s time to leave a comfort zone – or one way of being. They ask you to change. They are at the core of transition — and there are so many of you in transition right now! Calls get you to move out of what you know into what you don’t know so you can grow more.

They signal the start of your very own Heroine’s Journey. I can tell you, they are well worth
listening to, but — there is no “Call police” no “Call timeline.” You’re in control, Heroine. But…!

Are You Paying Attention?

Yep, here it is — sometimes if you don’t pay attention to a Call then it gets louder. There is
“something” (your soul?? Your higher self? Your subconscious?) that wants you to listen and do
what’s being asked of you.

And then there’s this… someone else, something outside of you pushes you into experiencing a
Call. What? Yes, remember when you got laid off or your significant other dumped you or there
was a pandemic and you had to close your business? It’s a discussion for another day about
where Calls might come from and if, possibly, your own unhappy energy “called” one in.

(I can’t tell you how many women and men I’ve coached because they’re so unhappy with their job and/or with their boss and the next thing they’re coming to tell me they’ve been fired or laid off. Hmmm, careful what you wish for, right?)

The Yellow Brick Road

So, sometimes, like Dorothy, who was very bored and unhappy in Kansas and conveniently a tornado came and spirited her away into her pretty big Call to grow up and learn some big lessons…sometimes we have “tornadoes” of our own that get us to assess and reconnoiter and ultimately, grow.

I love “getting a Call” stories and I invite you to share yours with me. In my podcast, The
Podcast for Real-Life Heroines, I’m always interested in starting there…”What got you to this
place? What was your Call?” Oh, and just so you know – we get many in our lifetime. I’m
thinking, if you’ve somehow found your way to what I’m writing to you today – you might be
getting one now!

Let me tell you about how my obsession with the Heroine’s Journey began and see if you can
recognize the Call part! (This is excerpted and adapted from my book, You Are a Heroine: A
Retelling of The Hero’s Journey):

“As you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump. It is not as wide as you think”
— Joseph Campbell, Reflections on the Art of Living

Going On My Own Yellow Brick Road Journey

In January 2007, I left a frigid, winter-bound Maine and flew to sunny and warm Santa Barbara,
California, to attend a three-day workshop called Life Launch: Inspiring New Chapters… A
Passionate Guide to the Rest of Your Life. This same fantastic experience is now called Life
Forward.

This workshop, at the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara, was a prerequisite for
enrolling in their year-long executive coaching program, to which I was seriously considering
applying .

It was during one of the many exercises at this workshop that things began to shift for me. The
exercise was called “Life Line.” We were asked to draw a line on a large piece of paper and chart
our life’s big “ups” (to go above the line) and big “downs” (to go below the line).

I did the exercise, thinking about how I had done similar things before in various other workshops. On my paper, I noted the birth of my children, my divorce, my second marriage, and my mother’s passing only eight months earlier. I made an entry for leaving the large manufacturing company where I had worked for twelve years. I had a lot to record.

In our small group, we each had a turn to put our paper up on the wall and comment on it. When it was my turn I got up, taped my paper to the wall, explained to the group my life’s ups and downs, and then returned to my seat.

It was then that I saw what I had neglected to note on my chart: my current employment—the
consulting firm that had been integral to my life for the last eight years—wasn’t on my lifeline!
What? How could that even be?

Organizing My Thoughts

I had noted all the other big and little employments I had had over the years: teaching jobs,
waiting tables during my college summers, and my long stint at the manufacturing company. But my current job wasn’t there! Interesting.

On the third day of the workshop, we were asked to write ourselves a postcard from the future, to write out a picture of our life from the viewpoint of the person we wanted to become. Our future could be defined as anywhere from three months to three years from that day. It was a personal choice. I chose to go out two years and write from the perspective of January 2009.

I began writing, and soon my future self was informing me that I would leave my consulting firm in March 2008… a little over a year from when I was writing. No, wait a minute. That can’t be… But we were supposed to let our writing flow and not critique it. That’s what came up, so I wrote it down, even though it clearly wasn’t how I pictured my life going.

The workshop was great. It successfully motivated me to matriculate into the Hudson coaching
program. I’d be coming back to Santa Barbara for four more weeks throughout the year and
graduating in December. I told myself that I was doing this to add executive coaching to my
résumé at the consulting firm. (Yes, the one I had forgotten to put on my chart.) I’d then be able
to continue to offer my organizational consulting services as well as be a coach. I’d be more
marketable. Yes, it was a good business decision.

Taking The Leap

At some point during my plane ride home to Maine, the wheels in my mind and heart started
turning. I had a subtle feeling that I had outgrown my current job. Somewhere between
California and Maine, an idea dropped in, the idea that I could (and should) leave my consulting
firm that year in March 2007! Yes, that very year. (Good, an A+ to those of you who recognize
this as my Call.) Hold on! This would be a big, big Leap!

The Leap was daunting. I had no other job lined up. I’d have to find clients again. I’d have no
biweekly paycheck or person to do my billing. There would be no well-known firm to lend me its marketing and name recognition. This would be a Leap into the void. And it would be a solitary Leap.

Enter In The Hudson Institute

Studying for a year with the Hudson Institute and acquiring my coaching certification would be
like going for my master’s degree, I reasoned. Over the years, I had taken plenty of courses to
supplement my organizational consulting practice, especially in the mediation and conflict field.
But life hadn’t opened up a space for a graduate degree. This could be it. I figured my clients
would remain with the consulting firm. I had even trained the perfect person to take my place. I
could continue organizational development consulting on my own, while focusing on coaching
and on my side business, Ruby Slippers, LLC, which provided self-development workshops for
women.

I did it! I left the consulting firm in April 2007 to venture out on my own. (And yes, if you
recognize that as I was leaving my comfort zone – I sure was! That’s what Heroines do! They act
on their Call.) I was still consulting, but now as a sole practitioner. I wasn’t even halfway
through my coaching certification program when I crossed that imaginary Threshold. I felt excited like I was unloading an old coat that didn’t suit me anymore. It wasn’t so scary. I had the
framework of the coaching studies in which to operate, so it didn’t feel like free fall. And
somehow, work kept coming to me. My old clients stayed with the firm, and some new
consulting gigs appeared. Money kept coming in. My Leap was working.

Being On The Yellow Brick Road: You Can Do This

There’s more to this story that I’ll tell you in my next blog post. There was more to this Call that
I didn’t even know about! That “something” that sends Calls had so much more in store for me.
My brain that had so glibly thought (because that’s what brains do) I was doing this to expand
my resume…didn’t even know how much more would open up because I had said “yes” to my
Call. I had taken action.

One more thing…so many people lingering in their comfort zone believe that it’s their security.
They would say to me, “I’ll never make as much money if I do this than what I’m making now.”
Or…”Why would I leave what I know; where people know me – it might not be ideal but I know
it.” So they say, “no” to their Call. Security is never without, Heroine. It’s inside of you – your
guidance and direction come from within. That consulting firm that I left went out of business. If I had stayed…well, my story would have been very different.

Episode Highlights

05:01 What happens when you first answer “the call”?

9:28  Why you shouldn’t do what your Threshold Guardians say.

14:05 Why mentors are so important on your journey.

Important Links

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Do you know who you are…who you really are?

More than ever before women are encouraged to step up, lean in, speak up. We know it’s vital
that the feminine voice is heard – and we are using our voices more and more. But, let’s face it,
we still need help with confidence. The women I coach, the attendees at my workshops, when I
ask, what would I be surprised to know about you?

They answer “I lack confidence”. It’s not surprising when we remember we just got the right to vote 100 years ago. It was only in the 1960s that women began to enter the workplace in significant numbers. We have been finding our way in a (formerly and – currently for many) male-dominated world. We need confidence in ourselves so we can speak up and share our wisdom.

So much has been written about how to be more confident. It’s all useful. But much of it is what we try to stick onto the outside of a person, like a 3M sticky note, hoping it won’t flutter off.

“You can do this.” “You’ve got this.” “You’re amazing.” All that is good to hear, but lasting
confidence attaches from within – where it can’t peel off. How to do this?

Look At Confidence From Another Angle

What if I told you that you can come at this confidence thing from another angle, the identity
angle… what if it’s about seeing yourself through a different lens. What if it’s about knowing
who you really are?

Think about the stories of women’s transformation that we love to watch and read – starting
with the well-known story of Dorothy Gale who goes on her identity search to Oz. They are all
about discovering the heroine’s true identity.

Often the character at the beginning of the story doesn’t know how smart, how powerful she is. She can appear weak, a victim, a follower, passive. It’s their experience on their journey that reveals their strength and true identity to them.

The Identity Quest

The identity quest – it’s been around forever and it’s our job, really – to discover our true
self and not just accept how others see us, or what category we’ve been plugged into as who
we are. Life teaches us our true identity, but can we help life along? I believe so.

I tell the women I coach that they’re amazing; they’re smart; they matter; (because it’s all true.
I can see it clearly – often they can’t.) but most importantly I affirm who they already ARE. I tell women, they are already what they are seeking. It’s as inside of them as the great oak is already inside the tiny acorn.

By the very nature of who they are and the life they are living, they already are powerful – they just don’t know it. They are part of a narrative explaining that power and how it’s acquired, that has been told and told and told for centuries. Our problem is we don’t know the narrative and how it’s OUR narrative.

This is why I’m obsessed with teaching every woman about The Heroine’s Journey. If you know what it is then you know you’re a part of an epic and ancient storyline that makes you – a
Heroine, the equivalent of all those heroines that you’ve read about and watch on film – now,
that IS amazing! I believe storytellers have told it all these years because it does teach us about
our potential. It is a handbook for life.

Just who do you know yourself to be?

The journey of the heroine pattern/archetype/plot appears throughout literature and film and
it begins with a woman not knowing what she’s got as far as capability and potential. She
doesn’t know how powerful she is. Then, through what happens to her – on the journey – she
discovers, “Wow, I’m somebody! I can do this! I am a badass!” Or, as I would say, a heroine!

How many leading ladies in film and protagonists in books start out thinking they are ordinary,
or even less-than, and by the end of the story – because of their adventures, they are
extraordinary?

Think of:

• Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games
• Andrea in The Devil Wears Prada
• Merida in Brave
• Leigh Anne Tuohy in The Blind Side
• Maggie in Million Dollar Baby
• Diana in Wonder Woman
• Rey in The Last Jedi
• Ellen Ripley in Aliens
• Khaleesi in Game of Thrones

And this is just a shortlist. You could give me more. Please do – your favorites! All these characters started out small, ordinary (yes, even Diana – she doesn’t know her power at the beginning)…then life tests them and they acquire strength, courage, all that it takes to transform into their bigger selves – giving them the ability to do great things.

I know what you’re thinking. “Susanna, that’s just in the movies or in books..” But here’s the
most important thing! This doesn’t just happen in books – but with real people too!! Real
people, real heroines – just like you. That’s why we love these types of stories – they hold a
promise for us as well. Hmmm, maybe there’s more to me than I realize.

Consider your inherent heroineism, Heroine. It’s there within you. It’s just waiting to be set on
fire. No, you might not need to ride a dragon or fight an alien or even have to confront the
editor of a top fashion magazine empire but you are on the same path as these fictional
women. All it takes to launch yourself into your transformation is to have the courage to accept
your call.

It helps to train, though, doesn’t it? How to encourage our courage and self-esteem? What’s
some practical advice to help? So much has been written about how to be more confident. I am
a big fan of The Confidence Code by Kattie Kay and Claire Shipman. What’s the gist of their
valuable advice? Think less, take action, be authentic.

I summarized the book for my coaching clients capturing the points that were the major
takeaways. (Though I highly encourage you to read the whole book which is full of great
examples, great wisdom.)

It’s A Choice You Make

• “Our biggest and perhaps most encouraging discovery has been that confidence is something we can, to a significant extent, control. We can all make a decision, at any point in our lives, to create more of it, as Senator Gillibrand did.
• When we say confidence is a choice, we mean it’s a choice we can make to act, or to do, or to decide.”
• “What held them back was the choice they made not to try.”

Take Action

• “… what we need to do is start acting and risking and failing, and stop mumbling and apologizing and prevaricating….”. “if we don’t take risks, we’ll never reach the next level.”
• “Confidence is the purity of action produced by a mind free of doubt.”
• “Confidence…involves action.” – p 45
• Richard Petty, psychologist, Ohio State U. “Confidence is the stuff that turns thoughts into action.”
• The natural result of under-confidence is inaction. “When women don’t act, when we hesitate because we aren’t sure, even by skipping a few questions, we hold ourselves back. It matters.” – Zach Estes study, University of Milan p 51
• Confidence is life’s enabler. “We are all capable of imagining how great it would be to…..but how many of us actually do it?”
• “Confidence, ultimately, is the characteristic that distinguishes those who imagine from those who do.”
• “Action, we reasoned, is something we are all free to choose. Might it be that acquisition of confidence is basically our choice?”
• Confidence is about action.
• Leave the comfort zone.
• “If you only remember one thing from this book, let it be this, When in doubt, act.” – page 141
• Action separates the timid from the bold.
• What you pass on to your daughters and to other women as well…Give them the nudge: “rather than repeatedly telling your friend she’s great, try encouraging her to take action instead. Often, it takes just one suggestion – one comment from a friend or coworker. “You should consider that city council seat.”…”You should go for it.” We can help each other most by giving each other permission to act. One little nudge might be all we need.”
• If action involves something scary – courage might be needed.

Make Decisions

Major General Jessica Wright, Undersecretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness.. “She told us good leadership means being an efficient decision-maker.”

Stand Up For Yourself

“Stand up for yourself”…Major General Wright

Say “NO!” To Perfection

The pursuit of perfection – the most crippling thing women do to themselves to undermine
their confidence. “If perfection is your standard, of course you will never be fully confident,
because the bar is always impossibly high, and you will inevitably and routinely feel
inadequate.” Perfection keeps us from action.

Accept Praise

• “For most of us, being self-deprecating seems far more appealing than boasting…Even if
  we’re simply trying to downplay achievements in front of others, we are essentially telling
  ourselves a damaging story – that we don’t really deserve our accomplishments. That
  affects not only how we see ourselves, but also how others see us. Remember, our bosses
  want winners working for them…keep it simple if you must. When praised, reply, ‘Thank
  you. I appreciate that.’ Use it. It’s surprising how odd, and how powerful, saying those five
  words will feel.”
• “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

Limit Negative Thinking

• Don’t ruminate – rewire!
• Kill your NATs – negative automatic thoughts

It’s Okay To Fail

• Page 136 – Gillibrand, the menu: took risks, was persistent, worked hard, failed.
• Fail fast –“These days, the world won’t wait for perfection, and spending the time endlessly
  refining your product is just too expensive. Failing fast allows for constant adjustment,
  testing, and then quick movement toward what will actually work. The beauty is that when
  you fail fast, or early, you have a lot less to lose. Usually, you are failing small, rather than
  spectacularly. And you have a lot to gain from learning as you fail.”

Men & Women Have Different Models

Confidence in women often looks different than it does in men.” – p 193

The prevailing model: “a commanding (most likely) male figure showboating, acting like a
decider, and asserting his authority over others.” “Male workplace bravado – perhaps
testosterone-fueled and Mad Men-inspired – is still the gold standard. It is currently the only
standard.”

• The drive to win no matter the cost.
• The boundless craving for risk.
• The propensity for quick decisions.
• The emphasis on high-decibel and high-energy interaction.

“Professional success demands political savvy, a certain amount of scheming and jockeying, a
flair for self-promotion and not letting a no stop you. Women often aren’t very comfortable
with that. Perhaps, deep down, we don’t really approve of these tactics.”

“Sometimes they work. But they’re not the definition of confidence.”

What might our (female) brand of confidence look like?

• We don’t always have to speak first, we can listen and incorporate what others say, and perhaps even rely on colleagues to help make our point.
• Passing credit around is good thing.
• We can avoid alienating potential enemies.
• We’ll speak calmly but carry a smart message – one that will be heard.
• Confidence, for many of us, can even be quiet even allows for displays of vulnerability and the questions of our decisions (not dwelling on insecurities and basking in self-doubt).

Be Yourself

• The art of confidence is how we each “create a confident interaction with the world that
  builds on who we are as women and as individuals” – p200
• Authenticity. “That’s what we’re driving at here. It was the last part of the code to come to
  us, but it may be the linchpin. When confidence emanates from our core, we are at our
  most powerful.” – Dare the difference. Christine Lagarde
• “Dare the difference, make it your selling point. Don’t try to measure yourself, your
  performance, your popularity, against the standards and the yardsticks and the
  measurements that men have used before you. Because you start from a different
  perspective, you have a different platform, you want to push different initiatives, and you
  should be authentic about it.”
• We need to start trusting our gut.
• Different styles of confidence in women – “mainly, these women just seemed comfortable
  with themselves”

Think Less. Take Action. Be Authentic.

Be yourself, Heroines. Own your own heroine story. Know that the power (to transform, to
become who you want to be, to meet your goals, to be successful) is already in you. You are
powerful. You just have to bring it out. BELIEVE that you have it.

And here’s the best part, if you make a habit of leaving your comfort zone (yes, that’s a prerequisite – you have to periodically move out of your known into the unknown), the adventures you experience on the journey will bring your greatness out for you. It will happen. It’s your destiny! You’re like that acorn. You can’t lose. Plain and simple, you are a Heroine.