When I started the Open Heart Project a year ago, I didn’t expect it to grow so quickly and so organically. Purely by word of mouth, we’ve grown into a community of nearly 5000 people who have had the courage and commitment to explore their lives and discover joy, vitality, passion, and compassion through the practice of meditation. (If you aren’t a member, you could sign up here and check it out–it is free.)

On June 1, 2012, I’m launching a new level of the OHP: the Practitioner level. I’m really, really excited about it. Many of you have expressed a desire for more and I feel happily obligated—and quite delighted—to offer a way to do so.

It’s time for meditation instruction and dharma talks that go beyond the brand-new-beginner stage and I’m going to offer Practitioners both shorter and longer sits and more subtle insights to challenge you (and myself) to become more disciplined about practice and more forgiving when we screw up. Both of these qualities—exertion and self-compassion—are fruits of meditation and we will continue to cultivate them, as well as other potent qualities directly related to practice, such as bravery, joy, wisdom, power and love.

Please see this page for specifics about what’s coming: virtual retreats, periodic evening webinars, a book club, regular email reminders, and more–and / or click on the video above for a detailed explanation.

To take this journey together, I will make the Open Heart Project my full-time job and thus there will be a charge for it. I went back and forth and forth and back on this decision, but there you have it!! It will cost $108 a year for anyone who signs up before June 1, 2012. (That is 0.29 cents a day–I calculated…) After that, the price will increase for new and returning students.

The basic, free level of the OHP will continue on as always, so if you don’t feel that this is right for you, please don’t worry. You will continue to receive the newsletter as always.

If you want to explore further together–or even if you just want to express appreciation for the fact that the Open Heart Project exists and help it continue to grow–I hope you will sign up.

Please give it a chance. This advanced instruction may open doors you might not have known existed.

I have no doubt that when we open our hearts, we can change our world into a more gentle and joyful one—and that meditation creates the causes and conditions for this to happen.

Abundance, love and respect. I hope you can join me.

Love, Susan

PS I’ll be sending a weekend retreat guide by email to the first 100 people who sign up.

PPS Questions? Email me!

SHARING THE LOVE

If you would like to participate in the OHP Practitioner level but can’t afford it, there may be scholarships. Please email me if you would like to be put on the list.

If you feel so inspired, you could purchase multiple memberships. I will gladly, gladly offer the extra memberships you purchase as scholarships to those on the list above. Simply change the quantity on the order form from “1″ to “2″ or “3″ or “200″ or whatever you like. This would be an enormous service and I thank you in advance!

If you feel so inspired, you could purchase multiple memberships. _I will gladly, gladly offer the extra memberships you purchase as scholarships to those on the list above_. Simply change the quantity on the order form from 1 to 2 or 3 or 200 whatever you like. This would be an enormous service and I thank you in advance! And, if you would like to purchase memberships for specific people,  [email me](mailto:susan@susanpiver.com) and I’ll make sure it happensIf you would like to participate in the OHP Practitioner level but can’t afford it, there may be scholarships. Please [email me](mailto:susan@susanpiver.com) if you would like to be put on the list.

One of the questions that most of us will end up asking about our meditation practice is “how do I know if I’m doing it right?” We sit there minute after minute, day after day, month after month and it is totally natural to wonder, am I really doing anything? Is there a right way to meditate? How do I know if I’m doing it?

There are several possible answers to this situation.

1. The simplest answer is this: if at any point during your practice, you notice that attention has strayed away from breath and you remember to return it, you are doing it “right.”

2. Another way to approach this question is with another question, best posed some weeks or months after having begun to practice: “Have I noticed any differences in my life since beginning a meditation practice?” Perhaps you notice that you feel a tad more cheerful or patient or equanimous. Or maybe you are becoming a bit more sensitive or easily impacted by things that happen around you. If you are noticing any qualitative changes in your daily experience, you could imagine that your meditation practice is going pretty well, even if you think you’re a “bad” meditator, i.e. find it impossible to follow two consecutive breaths. After all, the goal of meditation isn’t isn’t to become a great meditator. It’s to become a great person.

3. The final possible answer is this. Who knows? This is a spiritual practice and as such is an object of mystery. If we really understood exactly how meditation “worked,” I’d say we had failed to understand it at all.

So the best bet is to keep on practicing. Stay with it. Do the best you can. And when you look back over your life, don’t spend too much time on the question, “was I meditating right” and focus instead on “did I live right?”

To learn to meditate and/or receive ongoing support for your practice, please sign up
for the Open Heart Project.

In the last newsletter, I offered a review of some basic “don’ts.” Today is part 2: the “dos.” I know that some of you may have heard these things before, but, really, we can’t hear such things too many times.

Without further ado, please do:

• Understand what is meant by “placement of attention on breath”
• Become a bit bored
• Stick with the technique
• Become enlightened

The video above explains it all!

If you want support for your meditation practice, please sign up for the Open Heart Project.

Some thoughts on some of the most basic misconceptions and nutty side trips we all make when it comes to meditation We can’t hear these things too many times.

And now, without further ado, please do not:

* Think you’re supposed to stop thinking.
* Commit to meditating every single day for the rest of your life.
* Imagine that meditation will make you into a more peaceful person.

The video above explains it all!

Stay tuned for Wednesday’s blog post: “Do!”

If you want support for your meditation practice, please sign up for the Open Heart Project.

This past weekend, I was teaching at the Providence, RI Shambhala Center. We spent the entire time talking about fearlessness—what it was, how fear maintains its grip on us, how to loosen it, and how to manifest fearlessness in our lives. My final talk was on confidence and it was meant to be a culmination of the entire program.

As I prepared, I thought about my own plentiful experiences with fear and doubt. What right did I actually have to discuss such a topic? How could I find something genuine to say that wasn’t merely parroting what I had been taught without any inner connection to the teaching? The more I thought about what I could say that would be true and honest, the more anxious I became. I pictured myself flubbing the whole thing, confusing my students, dishonoring the dharma. I could feel my heart start to pound and my shoulders tighten.

That is when the teaching came clear to me. The opposite of confidence is nothing other than anxiety. Anxiety arises, when? Not when I was giving the talk but when I was thinking about giving the talk. I’m not saying there was nothing to worry about, but I am saying that my anxiety occurred the moment my mind and body separated, i.e. my body was sitting at my table preparing a talk while my mind had raced ahead a few hours to preview my certain humiliation.

The principle works like this. Have you ever had to have a really difficult conversation with someone, something so potentially upsetting that you put it off and put it off? The longer you wait, the more nervous you become and the more reasons you come up with to delay yet again. This has certainly happened to me and, interestingly, the moment I decide, that’s it, I’m jumping in–and sit down to face the person, something amazing happens. My anxiety recedes. I’m not saying it feels good or easy, but all of that stomach-gnawing, brain-racing, nerve-shaking anticipatory dread recedes. Of course. My mind and body are synchronized. They are doing the same thing at the same time.

We all do things that require synchronization of mind and body, from cooking, driving, yoga, and making out. These are things that require your mind to be on what you’re doing, sometimes with great delight. We tend to find such things relaxing, not in the take-a-nap sense, but in the refreshing, invigorating, renewing sense. That’s just how we’re wired—when our mind and body are synchronized, we relax.

When our mind and body are synchronized, we are present. When we are present, the value plays out in two arenas: within ourselves—we can actually know our own minds from moment to moment and between ourselves and others—we can read signals and connect honestly.

When we know our own minds, we can be genuine, which is another word for confident.

When we can trust ourselves to interact intelligently with others, there is nothing to fear in reaching out to our fellow humans. We can be open, which is another word for confident.

And where does all of this good stuff come from? From the synchronization of mind and body, which comes from, you guessed it, your meditation practice. Please know that as we sit together and train our minds to rest on breath, we are doing nothing more or less than sowing the seeds of primordial confidence.

So the next time you face certain anxiety, check your mind. Has it raced ahead to the future or buried itself in the past? Please try to let go and return your mind to what you are experiencing right now. It’s always good to begin with your body. What sensations are you experiencing? What do you feel? Turn towards your anxiety rather than away.  Open to yourself without hesitation. Greet your experience. What exemplifies confidence better than this?

To learn meditation, receive ongoing support, and become part of an amazing online community of meditators, please join The Open Heart Project. When we open our hearts, we can change the world.

Last week, we discussed two of the three aspects of the awakened mind—compassion and wisdom. Today I’d like to offer a (very) few thoughts on the third quality—power.

When we think about the quality of power, I’m sure many things come to mind. Some are positive—the certainty of a strong ruler or the beneficence of a saint. Some are not so positive—the authoritarianism of, say, teachers or bosses, or those who have influence over us due to wealth, beauty, or position.

However the Buddhist view of power has nothing to do with becoming a ruler or a saint (not that there is anything wrong with that), nor is it about authority, influence, or control. The Buddhist definition has more to do with the ability to see clearly.

This superpower is the quality of precision. The very definition of power here is the ability to cut through delusion and see clearly. When you are around someone who can do this, you can feel their power. It doesn’t come from yelling or storming about or tripping out on you in some way. It comes from their ability to know themselves, turn toward you, look into your eyes, and see you. The magnetizing property of clear seeing cannot be overstated. This is the power we seek, are drawn to, and that leaves us feeling naked and vulnerable on one hand, and completely, finally at home on the other.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen imagery of so-called “wrathful deities” in Buddhist iconography. These are the beings with multiple heads, fangs, wrapped in animal skins, perhaps clutching skulls or gyrating within a circle of flames. They are quite fierce and ready to fight. Their enemy? Ignorance. When you are being ignorant, they attack. You. When ignorance attempts to attack your mindfulness-awareness, this energy can be counted upon to attack on your behalf.

Power comes from synchronizing mind and body, over and over, from moment to moment. With such an effort the three forms of ignorance: passion, aggression, and delusion have no way to gain hold. And when you are free of these three poisons, there is nothing left but power.

Know that as we practice meditation, as we continuously place attention breath and synchronize our mind and body, we are also making a connection with the source of pure power and the tremendous well of energy that stokes it.

Please join The Open Heart Project, a virtual community of 4500+ meditators and receive instruction and support for your meditation practice.

When it comes to what it really means to be wise, it’s easy to posit all sorts of definitions: from really, really smart to deeply insightful to maybe simply being old and thus knowledgeable from experience.

Buddhism certainly has many definitions of wisdom and one of them is this: the ability to see beyond concept to the way things really are. Moment by moment, perception by perception, we let go of our judgments, opinions, and projections. Which seems impossible, I know. Still, we have each had moments where we have been able to grasp the clear, empty, luminous, still, vast space that lies beyond our conventional minds.

One such glimpse came to me after I first moved to Manhattan some years ago. I moved to NYC for a job and found a totally cute and very tiny apartment near Union Square. I loved my job, loved, loved, loved NYC, and my apartment felt snug and safe. One problem: I couldn’t sleep. Every time I lay myself down, I tuned into the constant buzz that is almost inescapable in Manhattan: the hum of traffic, the blare of sirens, the beep-beep-beep of trash trucks, and on and on. I tossed. I turned. I wondered how anyone could possibly sleep through this. Friends assured me that you get used to it, but after 7 or 8 nearly sleepless nights, I was pretty doubtful. One night, totally exhausted, I lay in bed, restless and teary. As anyone with insomnia knows, sleep doesn’t come from pleading and freaking out. I tried to lie still. Instead of attempting to block out the sound, I just gave up and let it wash over me. In that moment, I noticed that there was something going on besides noise and that was silence. Underlying the noise was an unchanging bed of silence. In my bed in NYC, I trained my ear on the silence rather than the noise—and fell asleep.

Now, I don’t know much about absolute wisdom, but my hunch is that it has something to do with tuning into the space and silence around your thoughts and concepts rather than perfecting your thoughts and concepts. Something to think about, anyway.

Wisdom and compassion are inseparable. They are actually twin manifestations of the same thing. On a relative level, this means that wisdom is not wisdom when compassion is not also present (it is simply moralism) and compassion is not compassion when wisdom is not also present (it is some kind of foolishness). On an absolute level, the union of wisdom and compassion is nothing more or less than our true nature, the silence that gives rise to all sound and the space that exists between all thought.

Of course our meditation practice is the way we cultivate a connection to this profound wisdom. As we sit, we practice letting go, over and over, thought by thought. When we space out, something comes from somewhere, completely fresh and utterly spontaneous, to say, “hey, come back.”

We can trust our practice, implicitly and completely. Wisdom is as omnipresent as space itself. To see it, all we have to do is relax.

If you’d like to learn and/or receive support for your meditation practice, please sign up for The Open Heart Project.

As an indication of how much I love Manjushri, allow me to share with you my badass tattoo which is Manjushri’s seed syllable, “DHIH”:

According to Buddhist thought, the awakened mind has three qualities.

Although I’ve said many times that having goals for your practice is a bad idea, I’m now going to suggest that there actually are goals and they are to realize these three qualities. However, the path is not accomplished by conventional means. Interestingly, these qualities arise spontaneously when we let go of our other agendas, no matter how well-thought out.

Meditation is, of course, the path.

The three aspects of the enlightened mind are compassion, wisdom, and power. We’re going to look at each one in turn over the next three newsletters.

Compassion is often confused with soft-heartedness. We might think that compassionate people are super sweet and always feel sorry for you. However, there is nothing weak about true compassion.

Compassion is an expression of the greatest strength. You are so confident that you can allow the sorrows of other people to touch you.

It is a gesture of bravery. You are so fearless that you can extend yourself to others.

It is an act of joy. You are able to connect, heart to heart, and, as far as I can tell, there is no other source of joy.

Some people might call this vulnerability, and it is. But here, vulnerability is synonymous with pure warriorship.

At the same time, it is extremely, heart-breakingly ordinary. We have all had the experience of compassion

I told this story in my book, “How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life,” and it remains for me a visceral experience of compassion.

When I was a little girl, my father taught me how to fly a kite. We were on the beach in Atlantic City and I was running up and down with my kite. I was so happy—the connection with the sky, the love of my father, the feeling of mastery. At one point, though, the kite got away from me and blew out to sea, higher and higher. I ran after it as hard as I could. I chased it until it was completely invisible. I was heartbroken, devastated. If you’ve ever chased anything that moves away from you on the wind and into another sphere (and I’m sure you have), then you know how shocked and hopeless I was. I remember the loss until this day.

One other person also remembered it to the end of his life—my father. Many, many years later, somehow the day of the lost kite came up and he called it one of those moments in his life that pierced his heart the most. He never, ever forgot the look on my face. He watched the kite fly out of sight, too. He longed to get it back, too. He would have done anything, anything to get it back for me. My sorrow was his. My loss was his.

My father didn’t have to stop and think, “Oh, my little girl has lost something that brought her happiness. I feel sad for her.” He didn’t have to do any math, like, lost kite + no hope = unhappy child, thus: I feel sad. There was no gap between my feelings and his, my experience and his, my loss and his. They were the same.  This is what compassion is. It is spontaneous. It arises as love and pain, mixed together, exactly 50-50.

If you have children, I’m sure you already know about this and, on behalf of all daughters and sons, I thank you. Know that this is the state of mind our meditation practice is urging us toward and which the great beings of this world, the meditation masters, saints, yogis, and enlightened ones feel for beings, on the spot, without thought.

How, you might ask, do they not fall apart completely? It is so terrifying to be this open and this vulnerable. Well, yes and no. The opposite is actually the terrifying option and our meditation practice, fortunately, thankfully, teaches not only how to open our hearts, but how to stabilize within the open state so that every time we are touched, we are not also knocked down. Instead, we are strengthened in our resolve and ability to be even stronger in our vulnerability.

This is true strength—the ability to remain soft and open under all circumstances, not just in those that are made to order. Recognizing the path to vulnerability from moment to moment? Stay tuned for the talk on wisdom. Connecting with the source of unconditional strength that sustains such vulnerability? Stay tuned for the talk on power.

Please sign up for The Open Heart Project to receive meditation instruction and support.

I want to speak to you about the most controversial, incendiary notion in the entire world, the one that, if you are looking to cause a commotion, disturb the status quo, or get into a fight, is the thing you should say.

Are you ready?

Are you sure you’re ready?

All beings are basically good.

There, I said it.

What is your response? If you’re anything like, well, everyone, your response is, “Wait a minute—everyone? Surely not everyone. What about Hitler? What about people who hurt babies and animals? Surely they are not good.”

You know, I really don’t know how to counter that with anything that makes sense from a debate team point of view. However, how can this be debated: Our most basic qualities (those we were born with) are openness, intelligence, and warmth. We are able to receive love. Instinctual drives for survival, acceptance, and connection are present. Most of all, we anticipate and turn towards kindness. If kindness is not present, whether on a gross or subtle level, it is a shock and great pain is caused. It’s not the other way around—meaning, we are shocked when kindness is present. Not at all.

In Buddhist thought, if problems arise, even horribly egregious ones, they are considered to be an indication that we’ve become confused about our basic goodness and it has been covered over. The defilement is on top. The basic goodness is always underneath, which is kind of the opposite of some Western thought that basic badness is at the core and basic goodness is somewhere “out there.”

Somehow this notion of being born whole, intact, worthy, has gotten lost. This is a really big problem. It can result in incredible acts of aggression.

The style of aggression I see most often is self-aggression. Those of you whom I’ve been fortunate enough to encounter through the Open Heart Project or the retreats I teach sometimes break my heart because I see over and over how hard you are on yourselves. I see this in the constant self-criticism. The endless comparing of self to others. The expectation of rejection and the need to always, always prove your worthiness, which, once proven, feels hollow and insignificant—there is another level of worthiness to aspire to.

Of course I’m talking about myself here, too. Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone and we were having a conversation about this and that. At one point, I wanted to refer to a moment in a previous conversation from maybe 5 years ago. I said, “You probably won’t remember this thing that you said to me, but…” Before I could go on, he said, “Wait a minute, what do you mean I won’t remember? I remember what we said. I remember what you were wearing and where we were sitting…” and so on. My expectation, and perhaps you share it, is that no one is actually going listen to me or remember that I’m here. On some basic level, I don’t feel worthy of being remembered and I try to give people an out for that. (The opposite—expecting everyone to remember every single thing you say as a moment of great import—is simply the flip side of this anxiety over being seen.) Anyway, that’s just one small example of how, throughout our days, we actually discount ourselves over and over. It’s hard to remember that we are all basically good and if I could open your minds, insert one factoid, and then close it back up, it would be this: you are basically good.

But when it comes to basic goodness, I’m not asking you to believe anything I say. I’m not asking you to point out all the possible examples of basic badness and I’m not asking you to enter into a theological debate with me, which I will surely lose because I’m really not a good arguer. All I’m asking you to do is to periodically close your eyes and place your hand over your own heart center. Feel its warmth. Touch in with the tremendous vulnerability and passion you possess and know that this is synonymous with your goodness. Say to yourself, “I am basically good.” Try it on. Believe it. If you can’t, pretend that you believe it. Then open your eyes and see how or if the world looks different.

Our meditation practice is of course the way we connect with this goodness over and over. Breath by breath, we experience openness (by letting go of thoughts to reconnect with space), intelligence (by experiencing over and over those moments of awareness that go, “hey you’re not focused on breath—come back,”) and warmth, or the increased tenderness and compassion that are the inevitable result of meditation practice.That is why it is so important to practice and I get on you (and myself) to please, please practice. It’s not just about lowering your high blood pressure or increasing activity in the left prefrontal cortex and what have you. It’s about opening our hearts, acknowledging our brilliance, and extending ourselves to this world without hesitation.

Please sign up for the Open Heart Project to receive meditation instruction and support via twice-weekly emails.

The Open Heart Project is designed to help you find your unique path with meditation as a support. Whether you are a Christian, Jew, Atheist, or none of the above, meditation provides a powerful foundation from which to explore your world. No one has to be (or pretend to be) a Buddhist to receive this support.

However, sometimes members of the OHP ask me questions about Buddhism, which I love. One of the more regular questions I get is, “What does it mean to become a Buddhist? How do you actually do that?” 

When someone decides to become Buddhist, it is called “taking refuge.” (I remember the first time I heard that phrase—more than 15 years ago—and my reaction was to burst into tears. Refuge? There really was such a thing? Bring it.) As it was explained to me, taking refuge is not so much about giving up freedom but about giving up chaos. We spend so much time trying this or that approach to solve our problems and we end up rushing from shiny new possible solution to shiny new possible solution. Committing to the Buddhist path (or any path) means you get to stop running hither and yon. You can relax. There is a Way—however, especially in Buddhism, you are required to bring your own intelligence and personal style into the mix. Yes, the path is 2500 years old and brilliantly laid out, but you still have to make it your own by testing the teachings out against your own experience. What is corroborated, you are invited to keep. What is not, you are invited to leave aside.

There is something very freeing in selecting a proscribed path. It is like finally moving into your own house rather than couch surfing. Sure, there’s a kind of freedom in not having your own domicile, but there’s also a lot of confusion. Your focus has to be on things like, “Where am I sleeping tonight” and “I can’t remember—did I brush my teeth today?” rather than creating your own environment, stabilizing it, and continually beautifying it. When you get your own place, you finally have the freedom to express yourself and build your life as you see fit. Taking refuge, you say to yourself and the world: my home is with the Buddhadharma.

In becoming a Buddhist, you take refuge in three things: the Buddha, the dharma, and the sangha, or community.

Taking refuge in the Buddha is not like taking refuge in a god or in anything outside of yourself. The Buddha was an ordinary being like you and me who was committed to attaining complete enlightenment—and did. We could do this too, exactly as he did. We each have this potential, every single one of us, because we possess this enlightened nature already. So taking refuge in the Buddha, we take refuge in our own brilliance.

Next, we take refuge in the dharma, or the truth. In one sense, we find refuge in the extraordinary and brilliant teachings that have been handed down by the extraordinary and brilliant teachers who have taught Buddhism over the millennia, but beyond this, we take refuge in the truth itself, in the fact that wisdom exists and it is real and available to us.

Finally, we take refuge in the sangha, or community. Usually, when you take refuge it is within a certain community, be it a Zen, Vipassana, Shambhala, Karma Kagyu, or another lineage. There are many. This particular sangha is a refuge because it provides ap place to receive teachings, fellow students to grow and practice with, and encounters both supportive and confusing that serve as a mirror for our growth. However, we also take refuge in the world as our community. We are citizens of planet earth and as such we have a role to play, something to offer, a specific place.

Taking refuge is an incredible step, akin to marriage. Like marriage, it is a ritual best undertaken as an acknowledgement of something that has already taken place. So if you ever wonder, “should I?” Ask yourself: “in my heart, have I already?” If the answer is yes, then by all means, take refuge.

If you would like to learn meditation, please sign up for The Open Heart Project, a burgeoning online community of nearly 4500 awesome and wonderful practitioners.