And this weekend I needed the reminder that death’s sting hurts because my heart longs for longevity and life abundant.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time.

He has also set eternity in the hearts of men..

…yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

Loss on any scale opens our hearts again to griefs mourned in the past;  but my heart sings as I am soberly reminded that I was created for eternity and I cannot fathom the loving brilliance of my Heavenly Father’s method.

How good it is to trust that nothing could separate me from the love of God.

The longer I work with students the more I am aware of how much we need to trust God. I think St. Paul says it like this - “I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase” (1Cor 3:6). Obviously he’s referring to a specific group of people that he had a relationship with, but broadly speaking he hits on two things that I’ve been thinking a lot about.:

1) In God’s plan to change and grow people there are a lot of people on His team. – Parents (biological and otherwise ) schools, school clubs, Christian friends, lots of churches and ministries, letters, Facebook comments and messages, godly adults, Christian music, – all of these things come together along with youth ministry at Dix Hills to plant, water, nurture and help students to grow.

2) – Ultimately  no matter how hard we work for the gospel, no matter how many people come together to help raise godly students – everything is ultimately up to God! I’m really happy that we’re able to do a lot of events for students. I’m thankful for so many of the parents and grandparents in our church who are committed to raise their own kids, but also reaching out to their friends – we have some great things going on. But, at the end of the day – God is the one who gives the increase – and we need to keep praying for our students and trusting Him.

full disclosure. I’m participating in a blog tour with Zondervan to review a newly-published book your church is too small by John Armstrong. I ran into the author a bit when I was a teenager at America’s KESWICK. I received a pre-published copy for free.

This is not a book about making your local church bigger. It’s a book about discovering the width and the depth of God’s people, joining them and worshiping God as a result. The book is split into three different points.

past: The Biblical and historical basis for Christian Unity
John explores his own story – an spiritual, intellectual, theological journey from a sort of practical fundamentalist separatism to a fresh catholicity. He guides the reader through many  historical problems with Christians through the present-day and points out that church separatism/elitism is a great danger to the Gospel and is hurting the cause of Christ. He opens the Bible and points to Gods intent that the church be united. (I really appreciate his candor and his openness in telling his own story and ‘conversion’ experiences.)

present: Restoring Unity in the Church Today
John maps a clear direction for accomplishing unity. In a nutshell – churches become more united as they become more Christian. It’s a prideful church that emphasizes their distinctions more than Jesus. Churches should all be about Jesus and the gospel instead of “human systems”. Essentially, we should expand our idea of “church” to all Christians in areas, and work together as God’s servants. (I appreciate his emphasis on history and the critique of the present Church and her problems.)

future: The Missional-ecumenical Movement
John unveils a  new (old?) paradigm for thinking about the Church. “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity.” (Psa 133.1) This is where the rubber hits the road – hardly anyone is explicitly against church unity, they just differ on what that looks like. His answer comes in 7 commitments.

1. a restored commitment to the sacraments
2. an increased appetite to know more about the early church.
3. an obvious open expression of love for the whole church and a real desire to see the church become one.
4. the blending of the practices of worship, devotion and prayer from the three streams tradition.
5. an interest in integrating more liturgical depth and structure with spontaneity and freedom in the Holy Spirit.
6. a greater involvement of sign and symbol in worship through banners, crosses, Christian art, and clerical vestments.
7. a continuing commitment to personal salvation, solid biblical teaching and the ministry of the Holy Spirit.

My Take
First, I like this book. Its a book that some people absolutely MUST READ. Everyone should go on this journey of discovering what God has in the global, national, state-wide, city groupings of Christians. I am passionate about networking with other local churches for the Gospel. In the last week, I’ve spoke at a church outside of our tradition, I’ve planned a VBS that DHEFC will be putting on in an Urban church, I’ve been a part of a youth pastors networking group where we support each other… and almost anyone doing youth ministry on Long Island. No single church is an island so to speak. Jesus has a huge mission for us and we need each other to accomplish it.

Second – it’s a book that I didn’t need to read.  For me this idea is like a family reunion. It’s important (I guess) to realize I have relatives in Switzerland or Indiana and its nice to see them, but I’m not planning on moving in with them. What I missed in this book is an affirmation that each church’s flavor is valid and the diversity that it contributes puts God’s glory on display. I really appreciate what my former professor Peter Enns said on this - (and I wish I could quote him correctly) but he was talking about Fundamentalist churches (and i guess, on my background at BJU) – Lots of people outside of the separatist tradition would say that they’re wrong, and they need to change – their church is too small one might be quick to say. Pete said (loosely quoting) ~”Most people think about Paul’s ‘the church is the body with diverse parts’ as talking about people in a local church each being unique and gifted, but I wonder if it’s also talking about local churches in a universal church, because even churches and movements that I disagree with contribute important things to the body. Perhaps it is arrogant of us to look at certain parts and wish they were more like us”. (again loosely quoted, based on a recollection) What I didn’t like about John’s book is that it seemed to at times confuse unity with uniformity. I wish there was more of an affirmation that of unique worship styles cultures, or languages – something that can get lost in a zeal for unity. I love the Church on Long Island, but I’m also thankful that God made the churches as diverse as the people living here.

This book is an encouragement about the Gospel and I left it with renewed thanks to God for how big and expansive is his church.

I read the post and kind of felt like something was wrong — not necessarily with her, but maybe me? Was I judging her, cause I know God doesn’t like that. Was I jealous of her life — that things had worked out exactly according to her plans? Yeah I was jealous! I’m lucky if my meal plans work out! Was I suspicious? You bet. I immediately started analyzing things looking for the loop holes — peoples’ lives just can’t be that perfect, right?  Sam would say it’s the New Yorker in me that doesn’t buy into these posts. New Yorker or not,  in the pit of my soul I know I long for a bigger God than one who helps me realize the American Dream. As a matter of fact, when I look at my rich blessings, sometimes I feel that they are almost the opposite of what I would have planned for myself (hello, me, a pastors’ wife?). I have sensed who God is as I struggle with him, for him–it’s that bit that makes me roll my eyes anytime I hear words coming out of Joel Osteen’s mouth! I don’t believe granting me my wishes is God’s priority. I don’t even know if God wants my happiness all the time — I just think he wants me to say (and act upon) “God, you are my God.” And sometimes–I’m just not happy with the way things are:

“Why couldn’t that couple conceive a  child?

How does an 11 yr old boy get terminal cancer?

Why don’t some parents love their children more?

How does a girl leave home for a jog and never make it back?

Why should earthquakes steal lives?

How could he leave her?

How could she leave him?”

My friend Missy and her husband John are missionaries in Nigeria. In her latest blog post Missy detailed her latest venture into a brothel.  When I first read it I felt frustrated and helpless and struggled to form a prayer that felt fitting and adequate for the great need there.  I think part of it was I knew that the level of injustice and darkness that Missy struggled with was probably far greater than any human could communicate.

Missy outlines her plan–she is going to pray, to visit the brothel again, bring candy for the children and embark on making relationships.I feel God’s glory is being shown off in this story.

Sometimes I revel in God’s “bigness.” Albert Einstein said that no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. Sin-created by man. Living in the effects of sin-reality. God–bigger than my consciousness. I feel freedom and liberty to leave these problems with God, to trust and obey when he calls me to participate.

Acts 17:24-28 has kind of become my go to answer verse when I feel like I’m in the in ring with my opponent–struggle. I spent a lot of time thinking why — why wasn’t I that young girl, born into the brothel? Who am I, that I should be spoiled with comforts? From verse 26 – 28:

²⁶From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. ²⁷God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ²⁸‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

The curse of blogging is that I don’t always “publish” polished work–my argument might not be gracefully articulated so please forgive me if I have offended…If you agree, please discuss. If you disagree, discuss as well.

Here are some pictures from our winter retreat at camp spofford – we really have a fun group of students and leaders.

For instance – 5:3o pm. Might be one of my favorite times of day. I pull into my driveway and more than likely see 2 white, fuzzy faces expectantly looking out at me. I know that in less than a minute, I’ll be greeted by them – and my Sam’s welcoming embrace. Things like this are what makes the house a home.

Ever ended your day wanting to do just that? Enter the Gospel of Mark, chapter 3.  Meet my friend Jesus. Watch my ‘woe is me’ attitude dissipate–at least until the next time I set out to march into the “depths of despair.”

It all starts out nice and all, the man with the withered hand getting healed, but by verse 6 two major groups–the Pharisees and Herodians (in my head I always equate these guys to lobbyists)–are holding a meeting.  On that day’s agenda: how to destroy Jesus. Ouch.

In verse 11 we find Jesus is having to deal with demons. Frequently. Another day, another demon. I wonder if he found the great crowds of people to be more irritating. At least the demons admitted to his identity, his purpose and his role in redemptive history.

Hello verse 19. By now Jesus has called his disciples, the men he would be doing life with for the remainder of his ministry.  I wonder how hard it was to call Judas, who would betray him. Imagine willingly committing the remainder of your days to hanging out with your traitor.  Imagine enduring every small act of life with that person if you were going to live in community together.  I am easily frustrated with Sam when he doesn’t rinse his toothbrush off enough according to my standards and I love him dearly.  I can’t even begin to imagine eating, living, playing, talking, resting, traveling–all while knowing what he would do for some silver.

By verse 21 Jesus’ family tried to help because the crowd thinks he’s lost it, or to put it more explicitly like the ESV translation does, “And when his family heard it,  they went out to seize him for they were saying ‘ He is out of his mind.’” Translation — call Dr. Phil because we need an intervention.  It doesn’t get better by verse 22, because now people  think he’s demon possessed. The chapter ends with Jesus’ mother and brothers coming to look for him. Again.

Tonight at dinner I chatted with Sam about this. I really like this chapter in Mark. It reminds me that Jesus was walking in tension through much of his ministry.  Often I forget to really think about who Jesus was is and revert to thinking of him with my flannel graph mentality.  What I mean is, often I look back on Jesus’ ministry and see this guy walking through a dusty landscape being kind to kids and making people feel better when all of a sudden a switch flips and all of the people want him dead!

But his message was a fierce one and it bothered people and made them feel uncomfortable and I bet it was really annoying to him that his family possibly thought he was crazy after all that had happened to them with the whole Christmas story and all…I mean, come on Mary—did you forget about the shepherds, and the wise men that came and how you fled to Egypt because Herod was so scared about this child who was the Messiah? And what about how when Joseph wanted to leave you in a kind way but an angel appeared and convinced him otherwise? Didn’t you know this guy came to shake things up?

Yet here it is, almost February and I’ve forgotten who Jesus was and this truth that I’ve centered my whole life on.  I’ve let a couple of small things get in the way and forgotten this awesome message that offended some and humbled others.

Mark 3.  I recommend reading it.

“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

This morning I got to be an eye witness.  I saw the offering plate passed over a young child while he was digging in his pockets. As he struggled to free what was captive he looked so discouraged.  After a few more moments of squirming he finally was able to withdraw a bill from his pockets.  Brilliant! Without hesitating he left his seat and made his way, actually ran, to the closest usher and with the most sincere smile handed over his money.

I smiled to myself. I imagined God smiling as he saw this drama unfold–he loves this kind of stuff.

I try to plan a lot of “looking forward to” events for these winter days — “anything to get through March” is kind of my mantra. I was excited when I woke up today to find the sky blue and the sun bright.

Here’s what we did for the most part:

Bagels

Saved a couple lives (ok, ok, we just gave 2 pints of blood)

Took the dogs to the dog lawn at Coindre Hall

Made a good, healthy dinner

Ate the dinner

I really enjoyed our time outside, it gave me hope that spring  is around the corner.  I think Mikey and Bella had a good time too.  Mikey has to wear a hoodie because otherwise he gets too chilly and sits there and shivers.  As I was photographing Mikey I noticed his ears have seemed to grown in the past couple of weeks. Or maybe his head is shrinking? Either way, he is still our ridiculous but loveable dog.

Can you guess which photos were taken before and after our excursion?