I’d like to say Thank You to 2011.  Thank you for all the lessons I’ve learned, the new experiences I’ve gained, the friendships I’ve developed, and for the wealth of love that I have been able to give to and receive from my family.  It has been a special year for me.  I made a big resolution last year, and I actually followed through with it for 12 months.  As a result, I’ve finished this year with a clearer picture of my goals, a more peaceful heart and mind, and a path that I can see myself on for a long time.  I’ve grown into my own person just a little more, and I feel like my feet are sturdily set in the foundation of my future.  So, thank you again 2011.  You’ve been good to me.

In reflection, I’ve posted some of my favorite photos from over the last 12 months.  Happy New Year!

(these are just thumbnail versions, click individual photos to see full image)

A little bit of motivation for my case of the Mondays today.   Thank You Pinterest!

(for artwork credit please click on each photo)

I love blogging.  Seriously.  I love that so many wonderful women (and men) can put their voices out there and speak from their hearts.  Truth, honesty, real, raw emotions.  I love that I can follow like minded souls, and learn and grow from their experiences.  It’s just one of the many reasons why I do this whole writing thing.   I want to inspire someone, anyone, the way I am inspired by so many others.

Reading a post from one of my favorite bloggers this week, I found myself holding my breath as I took in her words.  In my own little moment of solace, sitting on the living room couch and squinting at my iPhone screen as my oldest little monkey did his best at “quiet time” not more than four feet from me,  I found an answer I didn’t know I had been looking for.

But before I go into that… I need to explain a little bit.

See, you may have noticed my writing has been sort of, well, BORING, over the last year.  Resolutions, goals, recipes, yada yada yada..  no really good stuff.   And my quantity is lacking too.  You see, one of the many reasons I don’t blog as often as I used to is because of privacy issues.  I used to post photos of my kids and family, and I used to write about anything and everything I thought.  Then I started getting comments from others, from family, from friends.  And I started wondering if I was doing the right thing by exposing my kids photos and our family experiences to the world.  I stopped sharing so much of the personal stuff.  I started a personal, password protected blog as a scrapbook for my boys that the world cannot see.  And my visible blog kinda turned to, well, mush.

Back to the rest of my story.

I put my phone down, and with a familiar urge that many a writer can understand, I grabbed my journal and pen to figure out what the heck was going through my head.  Emotions trying to burst through, uninterpreted and raw, I couldn’t figure out what was hitting me so hard.  So I put it all down, and grabbed for my phone again to read those words one more time.  And that did it.

Trust.

In SO many areas of my life right now, I am absolutely failing to trust myself, and I am completely failing to trust others.  I could probably write a hundred pages tonight about how and why I am not good at trusting strangers, friends, doctors, the whole freaking universe, God, and even many of the people who are the very closest in my life.  I need to let go of control, and have a little faith that I am on the right path.

So.  I don’t want to sit down at my computer every night and write just recipes.  Yes, I want to share them, when I have good ones.  And I want to share our craft projects and our home preschool.  But I also want to share the real stuff.  The interesting stuff.  The stuff that naturally flows from my mind to the page.  The stuff that I’m a little nervous to share.  You see, I realized that my favorite blogs are the ones where the authors share the most about their lives – their thoughts and emotions, their family moments, photos that capture those things.  I feel like I know them.  If I’m ever going to do anything with my writing, I need to be able to be real, and not afraid to trust this world.

***special thanks to my awesome brother for taking these photos of Lucas and I on Thanksgiving morning***

We have been getting the most delicious greens from our CSA.  This week we got baby chard… and it was just begging to be thrown into some soup!  I don’t usually make vegan soups… I almost always use chicken broth or put some kind of meat in, but I am weaning my way off of it and trying to come up with some great new combos.  Yesterday’s butternut squash soup was NOT a good combo.  Last week’s beans and greens soup attempt was pretty good.  But today…. we have a winner! (although I did use chicken broth)  I’m already planning to make this again – it was easy and delicious, and it reminded me of minestrone soup, sans the bread on the bottom.

winter white bean and chard soup

Winter White Bean and Baby Chard Soup

1 cup shredded carrots

3 stalks celery, chopped

2 medium/large potatoes

4 – 6 cups of greens, chopped (chard, beet greens, kale)

1 large onion, diced

3 cloves of garlic, chopped finely

4 cups chicken broth (or veggie broth to keep it vegan)

3 cups water

2 cups gluten free pasta of choice – small shells or spirals work great

extra virgin olive oil

Saute onions, garlic, carrots, and celery in olive oil until slightly tender.  Add chicken broth and water and bring to a boil.  Add potatoes and simmer until soft.  Add greens and simmer another 5 minutes.  Turn off heat, add pasta, and cover.  Let sit for 15 minutes.  Pasta will cook with heat off.  (This helps to avoid mushy noodles in your soup, a common problem with gf pasta.)  Serve with Parmesan or Romano cheese on top if dairy is not a problem.   Enjoy!

Sure to satisfy a big appetite and a sweet tooth, this sugar free and protein packed breakfast is the perfect treat on a fall or winter morning.  Today, I thought my boys needed a little something extra since Ryan has been out of town and they’ve been missing their dad.  Nathan LOVES applesauce, so this was an easy choice.  Even Lucas ate a second bowl!

The smell filling the house is even more delicious than the taste of the meal.  The only trouble is, this takes a little while to cook because of the steel cut oats.  Be sure to start early.  There is nothing fun about two hungry and whining boys first thing in the morning.

warm apple yummy-ness

Protein Packed Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal with Quinoa – Gluten & Dairy Free

4 cups water

1/4 tsp salt

2/3 cup steel cut gluten free oats

1/3 cup quinoa flakes

2 small/medium apples

1  1/2 tsp cinnamon

Maple syrup and ground almonds (optional) for topping

Add water and salt to a saucepan and bring to a boil.  Add apples, cinnamon and oats.  Cover and simmer for about 15 minutes.  Oats will be plump and the liquid will be reduced.  Add quinoa flakes and simmer another 10 – 15 minutes or to your desired consistency.  For even more protein, stir about a tablespoon of ground almonds into each bowl before serving.  Drizzle with maple syrup or sweeten with stevia.  Enjoy your delicious breakfast and energy filled morning!

I can still remember the smell of sweet rice pudding filling the air of my childhood  home on brisk fall and winter mornings.  The cinnamon, custard, rice, and milk were the perfect combo of comfort food and special treat.

It was no accident that I stumbled upon this delicious breakfast the other day while trying to recreate those memories from my past.  It is totally different, yet very much the same, if that makes sense!    This pudding has a layer of pumpkin on the top that tastes just like pie, and the millet is the perfect accompaniment.  Not too sweet, yet sweet enough, topped with a little coconut milk… mmmmmnnnnn.  Might have to make some more tonight.

Pumpkin Millet Pudding – Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Vegan

3/4 cup millet

2 cups unsweetened coconut milk

1 cup pumpkin puree

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

2 Tbsp agave nectar

Preheat oven to 350 and lightly oil a medium casserole dish or baking pan.  In a medium saucepan whisk coconut milk, pie spice and pumpkin together and heat until it starts to simmer.  Turn off heat and add agave.  Rinse millet and pour into baking pan. Cover with pumpkin mixture.  Bake for about 50 minutes.

Serve warm with coconut milk poured over top.

I am THANKFUL.

For the GOOD things in my life.

For the planet I live on.  For the beautiful ocean just miles from my home.

For the feeling of our cold almost winter air against my face, because it reminds me that I am alive.

I am thankful for the many gifts God has given me.

My children.  My talents.  My challenges.

My sore screaming muscles, as they remind me that I am getting stronger.

My health struggles, because they have made me healthier and smarter.

I am thankful that I don’t have everything figured out just yet.

And for the time I do have to spend on that quest.

I am thankful for every breath I take, and every moment spent with the ones I love.

Going into this Thanksgiving it is my intention to be present each day.  To take mental photographs of the ordinary moments and tuck them deep into my memory to pull out years from now when these boys of mine are taller than I am and things like legos and elmo costumes are of the very distant past.

I hope that I can savor these days of motherhood, the sweet innocence in my boys faces, the wet kisses and giant hugs.  The bedtime stories and twinkle twinkle little stars.  It feels like we are rushing forward at the speed of light, and it is all I can do to reach out and embrace the moments as they pass.

So do you like my cheesy thumbnail photo above?!   I’ve had some late nights free lately with Ryan working and out of town, so I’ve been playing around a lot.  I love it so much I might have to start making them for all my creative posts… haha! But aaaaaaaaanyway…  I’ll get on with it.

Since Thanksgiving is only about a week away, I wanted to formally sorta kinda write up my plan for a quick lesson for the boys this year.  If I don’t write it up, I know I will forget some great ideas.  It’s been a busy month with illnesses and an overworked husband who has been MIA in the helping-with-kids department, and time just slipped away from me.  I’m looking forward to a calmer week where we can work on some fun projects and take time to breathe and be thankful for the many blessing inn our lives.

The activities I’m planning this week are loosely based on the books we have been reading since the beginning of November.

Books:

Thanksgiving is For Giving Thanks, by Margaret Sutherland – helps give them the concept of being thankful for the things in our daily life.

‘Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving, by Dav Pilkey – A hilarious story (written like ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas) of a group of children who rescue 8 turkeys from their Thanksgiving fate.  A good one for vegetarian or vegan families!

One Little, Two Little, Three Little Pilgrims, by G.G. Hennessy – This is a wonderful book for so many reasons.  We can sing the words to the tune of “Three Little Indians”, and we can read through it and learn something new on every page.  This book is full of information on the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians, from the way they farmed to their celebratory feast.

Pilgrim Cat, by Carol Antoinette Peacock – This book is probably best for a slightly older age group than my boys, but we actually are really enjoying it.  It is the story of a cat who hopped aboard the Mayflower and befriended a pilgrim girl.  It tells the whole story of their voyage, landing, and establishment in Plymouth – seasickness, illness and death, meeting and learning from the Wampanoag’s, and the first Thanksgiving – through the eyes of this young girl and her cat.  When reading this book to Lucas (almost 4 yrs) we skip some of the text and talk about the pictures to keep him engaged.  He loves it, and requests this book regularly.

Cooking/Food

Make Indian corn bread

Roast Pumpkins for pie, and actually make pie!

Pumpkin Donuts -gluten free and Vegan

Activities and Crafts

Talk about how the Pilgrims learned to plant corn and squash from the Indians in order to have food for survival.  Plant some winter veggies in our own garden.

Make corn prints – Use corn on the cob as a paint roller/stamper and decorate our own construction paper corn stalks.

Search online for some videos of corn harvesting.  Talk about the differences between the way the Indians harvested vs. the way we do it now.

Cut out and decorate construction paper leaves, turkeys, etc. and write on each one something we are thankful for.  Decorate part of the kitchen wall with them so that we can read them at meal time.

Try one of these fun Thanksgiving craft ideas from Family Fun Magazine

Thanksgiving craft kits from Michael’s.

Bringing it all together

I am really trying to make a point to make sure Lucas (Nathan is too young still) really understands the meaning of the holidays this year.  We get so wrapped up in cooking the meal, visiting family, and checking the newspaper for black friday sales, that it is easy to forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving – to be thankful for the many blessings in our life: friends and family that support us, strangers who show us kindness, a safe and sturdy roof over our heads, good food, good health, and a beautiful country to live in with endless opportunities.  I sure am thankful for the many, many blessings in my life.  I want to pass this on to my boys.

I recently sat through a six hour adult education class to learn about Adobe Photoshop.  I went into the class with a thirst for knowledge, a ton of excitement, ready to learn.  It was a strange and unfamiliar feeling.  Years of school left me bored in class, simply doing the minimum to get my A’s and B’s, memorizing enough to take the tests well, and then forgetting everything I learned.  It was frustrating.  I wanted to learn so much, but just not anything they were teaching in those classes!

My husband is the total opposite of me.  He wants to learn everything.  Everywhere we go, he is reading the educational signs, the news clips, trying to figure out how something works.  If he has a question, he looks it up and reads about it until he understands it.  I admire this in him, and I want for us to pass that trait on to our boys.  He had his own reasons for disliking school – the busy work, the repetitive homework, the waiting around for other kids to understand concepts he was already familiar with.  He was one of the smart ones with his own way of learning.  In college we took the same lecture classes.  We sat side by side.  I took notes.  He just sat and listened and soaked it in.  I studied for the tests.  He didn’t.  And he always got better grades than me.

I never had that thirst for knowledge in school.  I didn’t care about history.  It bored me to death.  I hated math.  I didn’t understand why we couldn’t just use our calculators.  Social studies was not interesting because I just couldn’t, and didn’t know how to relate to other cultures.  Science made me squeamish – unless I was doing a fun science fair project with my dad’s petre dishes.  And Geology? Ugh. Boring.  Mostly, I really didn’t like people telling me what I had to read, learn, and do.

What I did like?  Reading.  I LOVED reading.  Writing, yes!  Bring on the book reports and essays.  Animals.  Crafts, like beading and braiding, pottery, and sewing.  Music.  And imagining.  I had a whole world of imagination in my head.  I had dreams of being so many different things.  But sitting in a classroom, having to learn at the same pace as 30 other kids, waiting for the teacher to answer everyone’s questions, being to shy to ask my own questions, just wanting to feel smart and not be called upon.  It was not fun for me.

And then there was recess.  Being forced to run a mile, play dodge ball and volleyball when my sides ached.  Watching the mean girls pick on my overweight friend, running after her, unsure of what to say to make her stop crying and feel better.  Being afraid of my teachers.  Of having my name written on the board for doing something incorrectly.  It was not a positive experience.  It was downright painful.

Growing up is hard.  Being a kid is hard.  Fitting in can be painful.  And being an individual takes endless confidence.

Please don’t get me wrong – there were MANY positive experiences in my school years – from field trips to special projects, searching for four leaf clovers during recess, lifelong friendships made, special teachers who just “got” me and inspired me to work harder, learn, and grow.  The confidence I gained in my music classes, the sense of teamwork during competitions and concerts, the crushes on cute older boys, the clubs and committees I joined.  Class parties, school dances, ASB, yearbooks, and more.  I have many, many good memories.

I sometimes just wonder how smart I would be, how full of knowledge I would be, if I had actually had the desire to learn anything and everything beyond those things I was interested in, every bit of information that was taught in my 17 years of education.  If I wasn’t simply trying to pass a test and get a letter grade.  If I actually really wanted to understand the information as it applied to me, my life, my heritage, my future, and the world I live in.

Was there anything I could have done differently?  I don’t know.  I don’t know what or why or how I went down the path I did.  Whether it was my shyness, my insecurities, or my desire to be perfect and please everyone, I don’t know.  Was it the way my teachers taught those subjects? The way the information was presented?  Who knows, and I don’t want to psychoanalyze my past.  I’m not blaming my education.  I’m not blaming my parents choices.  I am not blaming anyone, and I have absolutely no regrets.  My experiences have simply sparked an interest in alternative education for the future and for my kids.

I honestly believe that if we allow our kids to lead, with our guidance, their educational path, that they will stay interested and love to learn.  That is my hope, and goal for our family, whether we home school or not.  I hope that our boys will have the thirst for knowledge that I found myself lacking, and a solid understanding of the world around them.

Black Eyed Peas and Quinoa Salad

What do you do when you need to get out of the house quickly and there is nothing to pack for lunch?  Easy!  Super quick, bean and grain salad.  The boys and I were headed out for errands and the library this morning, and I knew we wouldn’t be back in time for lunch, so I needed to pack something quickly.  Usually I will grab some leftovers or veggies and dip, fruit,  etc.. but that was not an option.  So I went to my plan B.  Plan B never fails me.

I had some plain quinoa in the fridge that I had made a couple days ago without any specific intention.  I grabbed a can of Eden Organic’s black eye’d peas, a can of sliced olives, my favorite Annie’s salad dressing, a couple green onions, and an avocado.  Mixed it all together and it was delicious!  I actually ate it for breakfast and lunch.  The boys loved it too, they love anything with black olives in it.  It’s one of those magic foods that makes anything taste great.  But, a warning to anyone with kids.  When serving them quinoa, be prepared for a mess.  Those little grains go everywhere.  They are so small even the dog doesn’t think they are worth licking up.

This is a super easy salad that can be duplicated in SO. MANY. WAYS.

Choose Your Own Grain and Bean Salad

3-4 cups of cooked grain (millet, brown rice, buckwheat, quinoa, etc)

1  15oz can of beans (black, navy, kidney, aduki, garbonzo, etc) **

Salad dressing of your choice, amount to taste (make your own, or use your favorite bottled brand)

1/2 – 1 cup of extras, depending on your taste (artichoke hearts, sundried tomatoes, roasted red peppers, black or green olives)

fresh veggies – as much or as little as you like (bell peppers, green onions, diced carrots, cucumber, celery, finely sliced kale, chopped spinach, tomato, avocado)

Mix everything together, add salt and pepper if necessary, and enjoy!

**I recommend Eden Organic brand for canned beans.  They are processed in a gluten free facility and their cans are BPA free.