The first time when I heard of it, I nearly cried.

The second time I heard, I was upset and angry, felt like I was being accused (like I am the lady in the ad).

The 3rd time, 4th time… I got annoyed and just wanted to switch channel.

This ad, talks about a busy working mom, walked into a shop to buy lots of stuff, mostly health related food/products. Then, she asked the owner whether there is any other stuff to boost the immunity of her children. The owner took out Naturel cooking oil, and reminded her that she need to cook for the kids.

She said she has no time due to OT. The owner said, “Oh… so, money is more important than your kids?”

She immediately felt embarrassed and took the oil, and said she will think of a way around it.

I felt like the ad was talking to me. I felt so sad the first time I heard, and tears formed in my eyes.

Second time, I was upset, because I knew it is not true that money is more important. I don’t mind a lower paid job, I just want my life back, but I just couldn’t get something else in my line!!! Job market is simply not good yet. This is neither something that I want, nor something that I chose to. In fact, before this ad, I was already so upset about having to stay late.

You think stay late will earn me more money? No!! I don’t get even 1 cent more, for staying later. But if I don’t stay late, I lose my job, coz I can’t deliver.

This ad, is really so unfair for mothers, for FTWM (Full-time-working-mothers). Not all women are that lucky, able to get a job 9 to 5. Some, e.g. hawkers, have to work till midnight selling noodles in coffee shops. Some have to strive to earn enough to feed the family… etc

So, stop giving more pressure to us! Stop labeling us being ‘money minded’!! I think I will switch brand now, going to boycott Naturel. Call me childish, I don’t mind, since I can’t find other ways of releasing my bad mood (coupled with hating my demanding job!).

I used to brush his teeth every night and train him to brush himself in the morning, because I want to ensure that his teeth is absolutely clean before he goes to bed. I am quite particular about teeth myself, so won’t let go this evening routine.

However, the past 2 months, my job has been getting really demanding that I have been home very late. Maid has taken over this role, so I didn’t really see his teeth much – an oversight myself…

Last Wed night, as usual I was home very late. They were waiting for me, refused to go sleep before seeing me. DH was attending to them, when I reached home at 10+pm. I went straight to their room, and DH was examining Ian’s teeth because he complaint again.

Oh! To our surprise, we saw this:

So, congratulations to my boy, his as having his first permanent tooth!

This permanent tooth is popping out from his inner gum, behind the current milk teeth. There is another big one threatening to pop as well.

The milk teeth are still holding strong to their place, not nudging slightly at all, refusing to give space.

Well, this has taken us by surprise because we did not expect this to come so quickly.

I have a set of very ugly teeth, due to the small jaw and large teeth. I wore braces when I was young and did not complete the treatment, which took me 4+ years and I gave up due to the hassle. This uneven teeth of mine was very difficult to clean and very easy to cause tooth decay, so naturally I was quite worried lah…

We didn’t know what to do, so decided to ask our dentist. Dr. Yip has been a good dentist to us, and Ian visited him a few times for checkups.

So we brought him in last Saturday, and this is what the doctor said.

No need to do anything. Let nature take the course. Some dentists may recommend to extract the milk teeth, but he won’t. He said, if there is any ‘damage’ (as in not in the right place), it has been done. No point extracting 4 tiny good milk teeth to give space to that 2 huge permanent teeth that has already grown in a different position.

He said, the teeth will be pushed by Ian’s tongue naturally, and will cause the milk teeth to get loose and will fall off later. The jaw will expand, and will give more space for the permanent teeth to grow later.

I just have to play by ears. Doc confirmed that it is a bit early for Ian. He said usually firth tooth popped around the age of 6+ and it is later for boys. Ian is not yet 6, actually only 5 and a half.

Yeek! Looking at his permanent tooth size, which is double the size of his current milk teeth, I can roughly guess that he would inherit my horrible set of teeth. Poor thing, got this from his mommy. :p

Last week, I worked till midnight in the office. All due to not enough good/reliable support, which I will not talk about in this blog.

This is why you don’t see updates regularly, ever since I started working again.

Without a job, I grumbled. Got a job, I complaint. Am I really that ungrateful of what I have? Hmm… I don’t really think so. At least my previous job, I loved it. I was enjoying it, especially in the final 2 years before I left. But I am not supposed to look back, right?

I don’t know what I am getting myself into, in this ‘new’ job. It is really unhealthy for my family. Can you imagine how I feel?

Isabel was sick for 6 solid days with mild fever stubbornly refused to go. Every morning she asked me to “come home fast-fast”, which I could never promise her.

Ian, on the other hand, asked if I could get another job that I could “come home fast-fast” or not.

I am blessed with a maid, to at least help out in getting them ready for bed. I can’t imagine without this maid how could I survive, or how could my kids survive?!

At least we are surviving now. But it is really unhealthy.

I spoke to my boss, and he said he will look into this. He sounds very understanding and full of empathy/concern. I just don’t know what can he do about this, coz he is in situation even worse than mine – I also pity him and not envy him for his stress.

This is agency life. I knew before I re-joined, but thought at a different level things would be different. Looks like I was too naive. Too optimistic.

Let’s see how long I can hang in here.

p/s: of course this is a scheduled post, written on Sat, midnight. Can’t afford to even check my personal email more than once a week!

Yesterday morning, Teacher Susan sms’ed me to ask about Isabel, and happened that she was well again and would be going to school.

At night, before bed, I asked her: “So, was teacher Susan happy to see you again today? Did you make her angry today?” (coz she has been very cranky these days)

She was quiet, and then Ian quickly answered, “Yes, last time Teacher Susan was very upset with her. When I was having my afternoon BM revision, Teacher Susan complaint to me about Isabel, she said: Isabel doesn’t want to do anything at all. Reading don’t want, ABC don’t want, 1-2-3 don’t want. Everything don’t want to do.”

This morning, in her Yamaha music class, she threw tantrum in the class. She threw tantrum at the teacher. This is very sweet and patient teacher who always smile and very good with kids. Isabel did not listen to the teacher at all, kept doing things her way, kept making noise including screaming and yelling.

Half way, the teacher couldn’t stand it, and wanted some discipline. You won’t be able to imagine how degil Isabel got. She refused to look at the teacher when teacher called her name (not even a hint of angry tone!). She kept yelling at me and the teacher “BAD”. Finally, I was asked to leave the room until she apologizes to teacher.

I think it needed to be done, coz she has been very rude and bad attitude recently, especially after recovering (maybe when she was sick she really got pampered!!).

She wasted our solid 1 hour there, due to her bad attitude.

About 3 min before class was over, then only she went to the teacher to apologize. Then, I went in and class wrapped up.

In the evening, when she bathed, she refused to come out, kept playing with the shower. I switched off the light to force her out. She threw tantrum again, yelling at the maid and me.

I asked the maid to leave her. We left her alone.

She continued crying and yelling for a solid 15 min. Another 15 min, she came down, dressed (by herself) and apologized to me and the maid.

I think she needs to be treated this way, so that she would know that she cannot simply throw tantrum at anyone.

4 years old, and she learn quicker than before. In the past when I ‘disciplined’ her the same way, she would cry and continue yelling for 60-120 min (yes, solid 2 hours, longest experience). She wouldn’t give up or wouldn’t understand that would not make her any good, coz mama also degil wouldn’t give in.

Today, she is learning faster. 15 min, considered very good now.

I just hope that today we taught her enough lesson and that she won’t repeat next week.

The Yamaha teacher has been too sweet in the past that Isabel almost ‘bullied’ her all the time. I am actually quite glad that the teacher put her foot down today. That would make my task easier next time, when accompanying Isabel in the class.

Please note that if you are interested to advertise here, please read from the page Advertise. Do not simply post your ‘advertisements’ in the comments as they will be all removed.

Particularly for confinement services, if you are a Confinement Lady, I would like to know your knowledge and attitude towards breastfeeding. I wouldn’t simply allow your advertisement here, without knowing your stance on breastfeeding, knowing many mothers who intend to breastfeed ended up failed BECAUSE OF CONFINEMENT LADY’s INTERFERENCE or DISCOURAGEMENTS.

Anyway, since on the same topic, I would like to also share a sad story here.

My sister’s friend’s sister (whatever), just jumped off a tall building, on CNY eve. When she jumped off the building, her baby was only a couple of weeks old. The news was in SinChew Daily.

She is a lecturer in UniTAR, a supposedly cheerful person, looks very young from her photo in SC.

She planned to beastfeed her baby but faced tremendous pressure. She lives with parents in law and grandparents in law. She had a CL too. All did not give her moral support, kept saying she had no milk (common remark from ppl without bfg knowledge). When milk came in, she had engorgement, but milk couldn’t come out (probably due to the same reason my sister faced — milk blister).

When she had the problem, unfortunately Dr. Koe was away for holiday and would be back a month later.

She developed depression soon, and sneaked out of the room on CNY eve when everyone else were busy and not noticed, jumped off a building somewhere else.

Honestly, in my first confinement, I nearly got into depression too. I used to live on 13th floor, and many times the thought of jumping off the building flashed in my mind. All thanks and no thanks to the CL I had. Well, that CL wasn’t even a person with strong character! I just can’t imagine those people who have CL with strong character (like my SIL had once), and living with in-laws who give sarcastic remarks on bfg attempts (thank God my in-laws are very supportive!!). I only had that soft-spoken CL who had no knowledge of bfg, not very approving my attempts –> and that could already cause me into near depression. If I had been living like that poor lady my sister knew, I guess I would have jumped off the 13th floor too.

Whatever it is, the morale of this story is that:
1) If you intend to breastfeed, don’t give yourself too much pressure. Remember, the intention is good for your baby. If you get into depression because of that, it will do no good to your baby, so defeat the purpose!

2) Before you do something bad to yourself, think of the baby first. When you are not around, what would happen to your baby?

3) Have good talk with the people and get their support, before the birth of your baby. Get their consensus and educate them first. If can’t, be mentally prepared to face the pressure to come, but don’t stress yourself.

4) Husband’s support is utmost. Seek his support first.

5) Get contact of more than one Lactating Consultant:

Dr. Koe (She is the most popular/favorite LC amongst breastfeeding moms because she is also a paediatrician.)
Address: 73 Jalan Mega Mendung, Kompleks Bandar, 5th Mile Jalan klang Lama, 58000 Kuala Lumpur
Tel: 03-79830539
Consultation Hours :
Monday-Friday: 9.00 am – 1.00 am/ 6.00 pm – 8.30 pm
Thursday: 9.00 am – 12.30 pm
Thursday Night / Sunday / Public Holidays – Closed
Saturday: 9.00 am – 12.30 pm

Dr. Pearl. This is another LC that you can use in case Dr. Koe is not accessible. Recommended by Busymum. Dr. Pearl is a GP, who is also an LC. She is knowledgeable enough to help you, but not that preferred because she is not a paediatrician (and I was old that she doesn’t have any children yet).
Telephone: 012 3045534/ 03 62032837

6) Mix with people who have successfully breastfed, talk to them whenever you face any challenges. Mothers would know mothers better.