Swanky Moms Club

Becoming the Mom You Want to Be

2013-05-17T22:20:00.005-05:00

Becoming the mom you want to be is not necessarily an easy task. You may wonder what your purpose is in all this, while you change diapers and fix dinner and nurse the baby (all at the same time). It's pretty self-defeating to try to be a perfect mom, so that's not what this article is about. This is about becoming the mom YOU want to be, which means aiming for more contentment and satisfaction in your mothering efforts.

In order to become the mom you want to be, it helps to stop and take stock of just what you're doing and where you want to be. Here are some tips that may help.

1. Do What You Need to Do

Many of us moms feel like we can't put the kids in front of the TV or DVD player - not even once. While experts are in agreement that daily TV viewing for hours on end is not a good habit, there's no shame in letting them watch something so you can save your sanity (or read a book!). Sometimes you just need a few minutes, and then you're a better mom after a little recovery time.

2. Exercise When and How You Can

Even if you can't put in an hour in the gym (and many busy moms can't!), don't give up exercising altogether. Just because you can't go all out and run marathons doesn't mean you can't give yourself some much-needed exercise (and the resulting energy boost). Do what you can do - walk with the baby in a stroller; take your child on a hike; run races; dance to music indoors. The point is to move every day for a period of time!

3. Stop the Guilt

Ah, guilt - moms are so prone to it that it's almost a stereotype. To make things worse, guilt makes a circle - if you feel guilty about something, then you feel guilty for feeling guilty! And guilt can wear you out, physically and mentally. So remind yourself that you are doing the best you can; no mom is perfect. If you snap at your kids or "lose it" occasionally, an apology works wonders (once everyone has cooled off).

4. Don't Live in Your Own Mom's Shadow

This is a tough one. If you had a fantastic mom, you may feel pressure to be just like she was to you growing up, and may find yourself unable to measure up. If you had a lousy mom (or worse, an abusive one), then you may carry the fear of being like her and try to "rise above" your upbringing.

If you need to see a counselor or therapist about this, do so - it's that important. It's a good idea to "own" your mothering efforts and recognize that you are an individual. Your household won't look like your mom's household, whether that's good or bad. And you shouldn't expect it to.

5. Hear What Your Kids Are Saying

Really hearing your kids - listening effectively - is a key component to being the mom you want to be. Sometimes, that means biting your tongue and listening rather than immediately offering to solve the problem. Other times it means you need to be proactive and solve the problem. Most importantly, listening shows your kids that you do care and are there for them.

When a Tarantula Doesn’t Make a Good Pet

2013-04-03T22:25:00.002-05:00

Exotic pets bring with them their own set of rules. It isn’t like owning a cat or a dog but it can prove even more satisfying. Before you set your sights on something like a tarantula, find out if indeed you are the perfect candidate for one.

Tarantulas are misunderstood creatures. Most people are scared of them because of what they have heard and seen on television movies. In their natural habitat, they function much like any other wild animal, using their instincts to survive. And, contrary to Hollywood, they are not out to feast on human flesh or grow ten feet tall and crush you.

With that said, exotic pets are finding a place in captivity as household pets. Just like snakes, lizards or exotic birds, it is best to learn all that you can about the type of animal in general and the species you wish to house in particular before making a final decision to buy.

Deterrents to Choosing a Tarantula for a Pet

Here are a few things to consider before bringing a tarantula into your home.

Allergies – You could be allergic to the venom in a tarantula bite. Bites are not common. These insects only bite when threatened or scared. And, they will warn their prey first by rearing up on their hind legs. There has not been a documented case of a human dying from a bite, but people react differently to their venom. If you currently have pet allergies, it may be wise to choose another animal.

Cuddling required – People choose a particular pet for different reasons. If you desire to spend time with your pet that involves handling, a tarantula may not be for you. They are quite delicate and can be easily injured if they fall from your hand or get knocked off of a counter or table. Such injuries can even result in death.

Kids – Pet spiders and kids do not mix. If you want to welcome a tarantula into your home, it is best that any kids be at least 16 years of age or older. Younger ones could be spooked by the way the tarantula looks, and then you’ll have a problem.

You are a singular pet owner – Tarantulas can live for as long as thirty years. If you move or decide you don’t want it any more, what will happen to your pet? If friends or other family members are leery of owning a spider, there will be no one to care for it. Owning one is a long-term commitment.

Feedings – Tarantulas eat live prey. If you have a problem handling crickets, roaches, even mice or grasshoppers, a tarantula may not be for you.

It might be cool to own a tarantula but if you can’t commit to it, consider another pet.

Tarantula Profiles Part 2

2013-03-26T11:21:00.000-05:00

Here are more species of tarantula for you to check out before you buy one. Here you will learn more about the Chilean rose, Brazilian black, Costa Rican zebra and greenbottle blue varieties.

Chilean Rose Tarantula

One of the most common varieties seen in pet stores, this tarantula is native to South America. Other common names include the Chilean common, Chilean rose haired, Chilean flame and Chilean fire tarantula. The scientific name is Grammostola rosea.

The adult leg span ranges from four and a half to five and a half inches in length. Life span varies, with the female living longer than the male.

They are terrestrial spiders. Their ideal habitat consists of two to three inches of substrate with a log or cracked pot for a hiding area. Don’t forget the water dish. Misting can ensure the tarantula maintains a humidity of around 80 percent.

Chilean rose tarantulas are docile. They are the ultimate starter spider pet. Their diet consists of crickets, other insects and maybe an occasional mouse.

Brazilian Black Tarantula

The Brazilian black is native to South America, specifically grassy areas of Brazil and Uruguay. Its scientific name is Grammostola pulchra.

The adult leg span ranges from five to six inches. They have been known to live up to 20 years. You may find them in pet stores and as pets in school classrooms.

These are terrestrial spiders. An ideal habitat consists of as much as five inches of substrate (peat moss or potting soil), with a log or similar decoration for a hiding area. Misting can maintain humidity around 80 percent. Include a water dish.

This species is calm, hence being used in classrooms. Brazilian black tarantulas eat crickets, larger insects, small lizards and mice on occasion.

Costa Rican Zebra Tarantula

Costa Rican zebra tarantulas are native to Central America and northern to southern areas of the United States. Other common names include zebra tarantula and striped knee. Its scientific name is Aphonopelma seemanni.

The adult leg span is about four to four and a half inches. The zebra striping differs from vertical white stripes on black legs to horizontal ones.

These are burrowing spiders. Their idea habitat includes about five inches of substrate with a log or some other decoration to use as a hiding area. Misting keeps the humidity around 80 percent.

This spider is docile but can be nervous. It is best not to handle any tarantula unless you need to. Their diet consists of crickets, large insects and mice.

Greenbottle Blue Tarantula

The greenbottle blue tarantula is native to South America, particularly Paraguay and Venezuela. It has dramatic coloring including electric blue legs and an orange abdomen, making it one of the most striking spiders of its kind. Other common names include Venezuelan greenbottle blue and orange bottlebrush. Its scientific name is Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens.

The adult leg span is around four to four and a half inches. The coloring makes it very distinctive and highly prized.

They are terrestrial spiders. An ideal habitat includes about three inches of substrate. Because it lives in dry areas, you can include sand here as well. Logs or bark can make good hiding areas and space for webbing. Also include a water dish. Misting provides humidity around 65 to 75 percent.

These spiders are adaptable to life in captivity. They are sort of docile but can be nervous as well, so handle as little as possible. They eat crickets and small insects.

Consider these species if you are looking for a tarantula to keep as a pet.

Tarantula Profiles

2013-03-25T22:06:00.000-05:00

Get to know the different species of tarantula before you buy. Here, you will find out about the Pinktoe, Common Brown, Mexican Red Knee and Mexican Red Leg varieties.

Pinktoe Tarantula

The pinktoe tarantula is native to South America and the southern Caribbean. It is also referred to as the common pinktoe, South American pinktoe and Guyana pinktoe. The scientific name for this species is Avicularia avicularia.

The leg span of a pinktoe can reach five inches. Their lifespan ranges from ten years and beyond. Of course, the males live for a much shorter time than the females.

They are arboreal spiders that climb trees using the hooks at the end of their legs. An ideal habitat would include a tall, ten-gallon tank with room and decorations for them to climb. Consider logs as well as vines. The bottom of the tank needs a layer of substrate about two inches thick. Mist them often to maintain a high humidity level (around 80%).

Pinktoe tarantulas are docile and friendly. Because they are tree spiders, they move quickly and can pose a situation when trying to catch them if they escape. Their diet consists of mostly crickets and other insects. They may occasionally enjoy a small mouse.

Common Brown Tarantula

The common brown tarantula is found on all continents except Europe and Australia. There are over 70 types with various scientific names.

The leg span is about five and a half inches. Larger more colorful varieties can be twice that size or larger. They can live anywhere from eight to 30 years.

These spiders are terrestrial. An ideal habitat contains several inches of substrate for burrowing, clean water and branches. Misting can maintain a high humidity.

Smaller, common brown tarantulas are calm and docile. Larger varieties can be more aggressive. They eat crickets, worms, beetles and even small lizards and the occasional mouse.

Mexican Red Knee Tarantula

The Mexican red knee tarantula is native to Mexico. It is also known as the Mexican orange knee tarantula. The scientific name is Brachypelma smithi.

The leg span of a red knee is five to five and a half inches. Lifespan varies with the female living at least twice as long as the male.

Red knee tarantulas are terrestrial. The ideal habitat needs at least two to three inches of substrate consisting of peat moss or potting soil or both. Not much else is needed other than a half-submerged plant pot to use as a hiding place. Misting can keep humidity levels close to between 75 and 90 percent.

Mexican red knee tarantulas are calm and docile. They eat crickets, small lizards and the occasional mouse.

Mexican Red Leg Tarantula

Tarantula Fact Sheet

2013-03-24T22:29:00.000-05:00

Many people know something about tarantulas but you’d be surprised to know how much there is to learn. Most people are scared of them because of how they look, but maybe a more in-depth investigation is needed. Here are some interesting facts about tarantulas that could leave you curious to know more.

Fun Facts about Tarantulas

The words “fun” and “tarantulas” don’t often appear together but maybe they should. After you read the following information, make your own decision.

* Longevity – Did you know that tarantulas can live for as long as 30 years? The female of the species lives on average three times longer than the males. Males don’t usually hang on long after they reach sexual maturity.

* Size – Just like other pets, tarantulas come in a variety of sizes. The smallest may be about an inch and a half to two inches in diameter (including leg span). One of the biggest, the Goliath Birdeater, can span 12 inches in diameter. That’s about the size of a dinner plate. And, they get their name honestly. They can jump and catch birds.

* Skeleton – To look at a tarantula you would think it was soft and fuzzy on the outside and hard on the inside. Not so. It is just like other insects with a hard exoskeleton. It has no skeleton on the inside. Through a process called molting, it regularly sheds its outer skeleton when it has outgrown it so it can mature and get bigger.

* The bite – Unlike the movies, tarantulas do not try to eat people. They do have a bite that is venomous but it affects humans much like the sting of a wasp or a bee. Some people with allergies may experience more serious symptoms. But, they do not often bite. If they do it is because they are scared or on the defensive.

* No web – Tarantulas do not spin webs as other spiders do. They can produce silk from their abdomen, but it is used to line their nests or burrows so they can keep things clean. Also, the stickiness traps any prey that dares to venture too close.

* What they eat – Tarantulas are insectivores. They love small prey like crickets, small lizards, grasshoppers, even other spiders. Bigger ones won’t pass up larger prey but they mainly live off of insects. And, they hunt at night, sneaking up on their prey and eating them from the inside out.

* They are delicate – These animals may look scary and imposing but you are often more of a danger to them then they are to you. A fall, even a few feet, can be fatal to them. It can rupture the thin skin over their abdomen, leading to a slow death.

* They are quiet and enjoy alone time – Tarantulas are not fierce but docile. They like being alone and also enjoy the company of their owners. It is best to watch them instead of handling them with your hands.

Did you find out anything new? Maybe tarantulas are not as bad as you thought.

Tarantula Care

2013-03-24T08:52:00.000-05:00

So, you are interested in having a tarantula as a pet. Tarantulas are exotic pets. You might think that they require a lot of maintenance but in fact they are one of the most low-maintenance exotic pets you will find. Here are a few facts about their care.

Before purchasing a tarantula, do your research. Learn all you can about the various species and the ones that are most suitable for a new spider owner. Know what you need before you commit to becoming a pet owner.

Choose a reputable pet store with experience with tarantulas. If you only find one or two tarantulas in the store, try a different one that has a wider selection and more knowledge about them. When you do, ask your questions to familiarize yourself with what you will be getting into with this kind of animal.

Preparing

It is best to buy all of your accessories when you purchase your pet. This way, you can set up their habitat fairly quickly. A new tarantula will need time to get used to their new environment. If you pet has just eaten in the store, they are good for a couple of days so they can explore and settle into their home without being disturbed.

Molting

You may have heard of birds molting and shedding feathers, but tarantulas also molt. They don’t shed feathers; they shed their exoskeleton. These insects don’t have an internal skeleton. In order to grow, they have to continually shed their hard exoskeleton. This happens every six months or so with an adult spider. Younger baby spiders (spiderlings) will molt more often.

Recognize the signs of molting. Spiders often turn over on their backs with their legs straight in the air. This is their pose when preparing for shedding. When ready, they have to work their way out of the shell. It can be stressful so don’t disturb your spider.

Once the exoskeleton is shed it may take a few days for the new one to harden. Your spider is at its most vulnerable now. Avoid feeding it or having live prey in the tank at this time. Their food may start to nibble on them and that can injure or kill them.

The molting pose is different from the death pose in that the legs are often curled underneath of it when the spider is ill and preparing to die.

Illness

Call your vet when you feel something might be wrong. Remember that a spider won’t eat for weeks right before molting. So before you get alarmed, check to see if it is about that time. Some signs of potential problems include:

* Small wrinkly abdomen (dehydration)
* Pacing tank (stress)
* Bleeding (some sort of injury)
* Walking on flat feet (illness)

Tarantulas don’t require much attention but they will need you to recognize when something is wrong.

Setting Up a Habitat for Your Tarantula

2013-03-23T11:41:00.000-05:00

Before you bring your pet tarantula home to live with you, it will need a place to call home within your residence. Unlike many other pets, it can’t sleep with you. Here are some tips about setting up a suitable habitat for your new friend.

Know Your Pet

Which type of tarantula do you own? There are two main types: arboreal and terrestrial. Terrestrial tarantulas will need space to burrow. That means a thick layer of substrate material to dig into. Arboreal ones will need decorations like a tall branch so that they can climb around and get exercise like they would do in the wild.

How big is it? You can choose an adult pet or a baby, known as a spiderling. They are so small that many online dealers will ship them in pill bottles. Once a spider begins to molt, then it will need a bigger habitat to accommodate its size. From a pill bottle, you can move up to a butter container or something similar. From a young age, it may take a while before you reach the size needed for a tank.

Keep the size of the container appropriate for the size of your spider. Tarantulas like to chase their prey and catch it. If the container is too big, prey can hide and your pet will go hungry. Don’t forget to cover your habitat so your pet doesn’t scamper away.

Choose a sufficient substrate for the bottom of the tank. For a tree spider it doesn’t have to be very deep, around an inch will do. Leave some clean space so that they can explore if they want to. Terrestrial burrowing spiders will need a deeper layer for making their hiding places, like two to five inches, depending on the size of the pet. Choose a mix of materials: organic potting soil, peat moss and/or vermiculite. Go organic to avoid having pesticides and other harmful chemicals close to your pet.

Feed your pet once or twice a week. Babies need to be fed more often. Tarantulas eat live insects. Crickets are the best choice but some owners choose roaches too. Be careful that they don’t crawl out of the habitat and infest your home. A couple of crickets a couple of times a week should be sufficient. Remove any food that is not eaten. Don’t forget the water dish. It doesn’t need to be that deep but easy for the pet to dip their fangs in and drink.

A clean habitat is healthier for your pet. Besides removing uneaten food, remove excrement from the tank on a regular basis. You won’t need a pooper scooper for this task. A paper towel will be good.

To maintain the moisture level, mist your pet once a week. Tropical varieties can be misted as much as once a day. They need a higher humidity rate. But, sitting your pet’s habitat near the window can warm it up too much and kill it, so be careful.

When you begin with a well-supplied habitat, your pet tarantula will want for nothing.

Selecting Your Pet Tarantula

2013-03-23T01:25:00.000-05:00

Just like other types of pet, tarantulas are not all the same. There are hundreds of species in the world and they each have their own quirks. Before choosing one, know which one is most likely to be compatible with you and your environment.

Which One to Choose

Experience – Have you ever owned a tarantula or other exotic pet before? If the answer is no, then you might want to consult your pet store for a species that will do well for newbies. One of the most common varieties in pet stores is the Chilean Rose. It is just as hairy as other species but docile and easy to get along with. They don’t mind spending a lot of time alone if you have to be away from home on a regular basis. Save larger species for later when you get accustomed to handling them.

Size – Larger tarantula species like the Goliath Birdeater can grow as big as a dinner plate (about 12 inches in diameter including legs). If you receive a bite from them, the venom is often more potent than with smaller species. If you have breathing problems, this might not be a good combination.

Habitat – Tarantulas don’t need a lot of space to be happy, but they do need an adequate habitat. Check to see if the tarantula you are considering is arboreal (tree dwelling) or terrestrial (burrower). Arboreal ones will require taller habitats with decorations that allows them to climb around and build their nest. Ground dwelling ones will need a substrate that covers the bottom of the tank at least two to five inches deep. These insects like to burrow and hide in order to feel comfortable.

Health – You want to begin your spider experience with a healthy one. Read up on the appearance of a primo tarantula so you know what to look for. Count the legs. Be sure that it has all eight of them and two shorter pedipalps. Watch the tarantula in the tank. If it has its legs curled under its body, that is a sign that it is not long for this world (near death). Also, see how it drinks to be sure it is well hydrated. They need a lot of moisture.

Cost – Most common varieties may run you about 20 dollars. But rarer and larger breeds can put you out hundreds of bucks. If you don’t know much about tarantulas, stick with an inexpensive breed for your first pet.

Reputable dealers – Choose a pet store or online dealer that has a reputation for experience with tarantulas. They can offer you advice on care, health and choosing the perfect pet.

Have you decided to delve into the world of exotic pets? Before buying a tarantula, learn all that you can about them.

Pet Tarantula Diet

2013-03-22T10:54:00.001-05:00

All pets need to eat, including a pet tarantula. You can’t let him out to feed so you will have to bring the food to him. Here are some hints about what they eat and how to supply their food.

By nature, tarantulas are insectivores. They love to eat crickets, grasshoppers, cicadas, beetles and even caterpillars. You may also have heard stories about tarantulas eating larger prey and that is true. Bigger species won’t normally go after anything other than insects but they won’t pass up a bird or small rodent that passes through its vicinity.

Tarantulas eat what they can catch. Because they don’t spin webs, they hunt. Mostly at night, they stalk their prey, chase it down and trap it. Even in captivity, they return to this instinct. That is why your pet needs live prey.

Feeding Your Pet

Most pet stores carry live food to feed your pets. The advantage of using these insects is that they are free from pesticides that can be present in the bodies of insects that you might catch in your yard. You don’t want to make your pet ill.

Generally, normal-size tarantulas can be fed a couple of times a week. This can vary for larger species and for younger ones that need more food because they are growing. At each feeding, offer your pet about two or three crickets. They will stalk and feed when they are ready.

Tarantulas can’t eat their food whole because they don’t have teeth. Once they catch their prey, they inject them with a paralyzing venom. In this state, they can secrete digestive enzymes into the body of the prey to liquefy it. Then, they use their straw-like mouth to suck up the soupy meal. You will either be fascinated or disgusted if you watch the process.

Now, you also have to feed your prey. To keep your pet healthy, the prey needs to eat a healthy diet. If you purchase crickets from the pet store, ask what they are being fed. A diet of mealworms or other small bugs keep the prey nutritious to your pet. Consider dusting the crickets with vitamins before putting them in the habitat.

Tarantulas don’t need much to eat, particularly around molting time. It is not uncommon for them to go without eating for a couple of months before molting. And, they will continue the fast for weeks after the molting phase is finished. Because the pet is vulnerable during molting, it is necessary to remove any live food from the tank so they don’t kill your spider.

The key to keeping your pet happy is imitating their diet in the wild.

Is a Tarantula the Right Pet for You?

2013-03-21T21:51:00.000-05:00

With a world full of animals, some like to think outside the box and choose exotic pets. One such pet that has gained popularity in recent years is the tarantula. Have you ever considered owning one? If so, keep reading to find out if this particular exotic animal would make a good pet in your home.

Down through the years, tarantulas have been portrayed as sinister animals. You only ever see them at Halloween and in horror movies. It’s no wonder people are not too friendly when you mention them. But, some people have taken up the charge to embrace them and bring them into their home.

So, how do you know if this pet is going to get along with your family?

Pros

Tarantulas are a part of the spider family. There are about 900 species throughout the world. They are divided into two groups: arboreal (tree dwelling) and terrestrial (burrowers). You can find them on many continents, in tropical climates as well as deserts.

Contrary to the venomous, vindictive creatures they portray in movies, these insects are actually docile. They don’t like to cause trouble. As a pet, they don’t do very much but sit and look pretty, especially the ones with distinctive markings.

For someone who wants a pet that doesn’t require much maintenance, this is it. Besides setting up their habitat, feedings take place a couple of times a week. Keeping their habitat clean is something to also tend to on a regular basis. For moisture control, they will need to be misted with warm bottled water at least once a week.

Tarantulas are delicate creatures. That means that you won’t have to constantly play with them or take them out of their habitat to keep them happy. Contentment comes from having a moist place to live along with sufficient food.

Cons

Tarantulas might be gentle but they can look very imposing and scary. Most are quite hairy with thick legs. If your family is squeamish when it comes to looking at them, it may not be a good idea to have one in the house.

Other pets don’t play well with this insect. Cats and dogs can actually be in danger from the tarantula. While a bite from one will likely only cause a rash in humans, it could be more dangerous and even fatal to your other pets.

Feeding time involves live prey. This means providing live crickets and other insects for them to hunt. Some people may have a problem handling bugs. And, pet store bugs are better than catching them in the back yard because of the potential for harmful pesticides and disease. Watching them eat could be a potential turn-off as well.

You want a new pet in the house - are you ready for a tarantula?

How to Properly Handle Your Tarantula

2013-03-20T22:59:00.003-05:00

People love to spend time with their pets, holding them and getting to know them. If you own a tarantula, though, this might be a difficult proposition. Here are some tips for handling them.

Before you invest in a pet, get to know all that you can about them. Just because you like the way that they look or think that a certain pet is “cool” doesn’t mean that it is right for you. The same goes for tarantulas.

While they are gentle with people, tarantulas are best when they are being watched through the walls of their tank habitats. Many experts will tell you not to handle them. It can be dangerous for the tarantula.

Here are some interesting things to know about your pet. Tarantulas are delicate animals, even the larger ones. They have many sensitive spots on their body. Touching them, even accidentally, can elicit a response from your pet including bites or the flicking of hairs.

Bites are not fatal, but they can cause a lot of discomfort for you. When they are smaller, a bite may hurt like a bee sting. And with normal adult size tarantulas, you may experience swelling, pain and itching for a few days to a week. During this time, make sure that the bite is kept clean and treated to avoid infections.

Larger spider bites can make you sick. Some people have experienced aches and stomach cramps for a week or more. If you are unsure of how your body is reacting to the bite, it is best to see a doctor as soon as possible.

Spiders only bite when they are scared or acting out of self-defense. Your attempts to handle it could bring about this misunderstood response. So, handle with care.

We also mentioned kicking hairs. Did you know that tarantula hairs were used in itching powder sold in joke stores? Imagine a spider kicking them at you to ward you off. The idea is for the hairs to get in the eyes and other orifices of the attacker and irritate them. They use their back legs to rub hairs off of their abdomen and then flick them at their attacker. The temporary rash can be quite painful until it disappears.

If You Must Handle Your Pet

If you want to show your tarantula to a friend or even to carry them to their habitat, here are a few pointers.

Hold them firmly – Grasp them between their third and fourth set of legs with your thumb and forefinger. They will be less startled if you lift them so all legs leave the ground at the same time.

Keep palms flat – When holding them in your hand, keep your palm flat so their legs can find a safe secure spot. As they walk, move hand over hand to prevent them from falling. Falls can be fatal to a tarantula. Just a few feet can lead to a rupturing of the abdomen and certain death.

It is best to just watch your tarantula and admire its beauty. It will thank you for it.

Top Tips for Outsmarting Picky Eaters

2013-03-20T11:48:00.000-05:00

When it comes to picky eaters, sometimes you have to outsmart them! Here are some top tips for your picky eater.

1. Have a Strategy

Approaching snacks and mealtimes with a strategy can help a great deal. It "arms" you, the parent, with a response to begging, not finishing food, and refusal to eat certain foods. Read on for some specifics on strategy.

2. Loosen the Control Grip

Unfortunately, parents often grab for more control when there's a situation that needs "correcting" - whether it's an overweight child or a picky eater. The problem with this, though, is that it may create an obsession with "forbidden" foods, or set your child up to make excuses to reward him or herself by eating comfort foods.

In an era when more than half of Americans are overweight, we need to take special care not to set our kids up for a weight struggle later in life. So relax, and focus on teaching your child to listen to his or her body.

3. Plan Meals and Snacks

Having meals planned and including snacks (so your child doesn't have to beg for a snack every day, and you "give in" and let him/her eat junk food) may help a lot with picky eating. Kids tend to respond positively to routine.

4. Keep Foods Simple

Casseroles are tempting because they are easy and inexpensive, but kids tend to shun "mixtures." You may find that simple, plain foods are actually easier to prepare in the end! Finger foods tend to be a big hit, like sandwiches, and vegetables and dip, sliced fruit, and simple pastas are often popular.

5. Hide the Veggies and Fruits

Fresh veggies and fruits can be whizzed in a blender with jarred spaghetti sauce, cheese dip, and pizza sauce. Speaking of pizza, mince up spinach or zucchini and sprinkle over pizza. Cover with veggie pepperoni and a moderate amount of cheese.

6. Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Give your child choices of what to eat - just make sure that each option is something healthy and acceptable. This helps the child feel like he or she has a "voice" in what is eaten, and also introduces them to variety that is a key to healthy eating.

7. Funny Food

Check the internet for fun ways to prepare food. You can make landscapes with rice or mashed potatoes as a background; cut fruit and cheese into shapes; and cut bread into shapes as well. There are so many things you can do to make food fun and beautiful to look at - and somehow, kids tend to like eating these fun landscapes!

The Role of Positive Reinforcement in Parenting

2013-03-19T22:35:00.000-05:00

When most of us think of discipline, we may not realize it, but we're probably thinking of methods that are actually negative reinforcement. Punishment fits into this category, as do some consequences that are enacted in a negative way. So where does positive reinforcement fit in? Can it really help shape behavior? Positive reinforcement does have a place, say experts - perhaps a very big place.

Here are some thoughts and suggestions on the role of positive reinforcement in parenting.

1. Long-Lasting Results

Sources agree that positive reinforcement has longer-lasting results than negative reinforcement. Kids learn to "duck" the negative stuff - punishment becomes the thing to be avoided and the focus is on that rather than behavioral improvement. Positive reinforcement, on the other hand, encourages good behavior, and behaving in ways that get the reward - the positive reinforcement - becomes the focus instead of avoidance.

2. What Constitutes a Reward?

If you're going to use positive reinforcement, there are some techniques that are considered healthier than others.

* Food - Experts nearly all agree that using food as a reward is not the healthiest thing to do. It may encourage your child to grow into an adult who seeks comfort food as a reward for something, which becomes anything...your child may end up eating "treats" any time he or she can come up with an excuse.

* Praise - Verbal praise is a great way to offer positive reinforcement. Your kids want to please you (really), and knowing that they've made you happy and contributed to a happy atmosphere helps reinforce the good behavior.

* Brag - Tell the rest of the family about the good thing that your child did. You don't need to overdo it, but let the other parent know in such a way that the child can hear you bragging on him. This makes anyone feel good!

* Extra privileges - Does your child like to watch videos? Does he like to read? Try giving him some extra time for those activities as a reward for desirable behavior.

3. Positive Language

Avoiding negative phrases is key. Instead of telling your kids they're so annoying/frustrating/aggravating/hopeless/etc., verbalize their strengths and positive attributes. It's amazing how negative language can drag your kids down and cause them to behave badly.

Keep the negative language to a minimum, and when you do mess up, apologize to your kids and let them know why such negative words are not a good idea. You might ask them how it made them feel when you said those negative things, too. Then they'll be likely to feel heard and validated - which means you just turned a negative "moment" into positive reinforcement!

Respect in Parenting: a Two-Way Street

2013-03-19T10:36:00.000-05:00

In today's world, parents can easily lose sight of the fact that parenting is a relationship. Rather, we get caught up in disciplining and controlling our kids' behavior. While discipline certainly has its place, it tends to be a lot easier if you have a foundation of respect first...and that comes from having a relationship.

Here are some reasons why and how respect in parenting is a two-way street.

1. Remember Your Child Is a Person

It's easy to forget that your child is only human - a toddler who is overwhelmed, upset, and in a bad mood, for instance, is likely to be labeled "bad," whereas you probably wouldn't label a sad, overwhelmed, or upset adult the same way. Although your child is not necessarily a "little adult," he or she is a person, with human needs and struggles and feelings. They are also imperfect, just like we are! Just keeping these things in mind can shift your thinking to a more mutually-respectful mindset.

2. Do Unto Others...

Quite simply, treating your kids the way you want to be treated is a great springboard for discipline and relationship. Granted, sometimes you have to ask things of your kids that you really would rather not have someone do to you (ask you to do the dishes, for instance), but the overarching theme of treating them like you would want to be treated still applies - you can ask them to do the dishes in a respectful manner, for instance, and show your appreciation for their help.

3. Earn, Don't Demand Respect

You really can't force someone to respect you by demanding it. Your kids might go through the motions of respecting you, but they may just be acting out of fear. Respect - and experts agree - is best earned, and you earn it by giving it.

4. Watch Demeaning Language

A lot of damage has been done by using demeaning language with kids. Referring to them as "stupid" or asking "what is wrong with you?" when they do something wrong or make a mistake can damage their self-esteem and undermine their confidence. And it certainly isn't respectful! Watch what you say - make sure you use respectful and courteous language and you're more likely to receive that kind of language in return.

5. You're Still an Authority

Earning respect from your kids doesn't mean always being their buddy. You are an authority figure, and your kids need for you to be. But you can be authoritative and still be respectful - try to employ some of the above tips and apply them to your status as an authority figure.

Pay It Forward - Teaching Your Kids to Overcome the Entitlement Mentality

2013-03-18T11:45:00.001-05:00

In this day and age, many parents are concerned about their children developing an "entitlement mentality". Maybe you're a parent who's already seen this mentality exhibited in your kids. Teaching your kids to "pay it forward" - that is, to give back to others and their community - is a remedy of sorts for the entitlement mentality.

Here are some ideas on paying it forward, and teaching your kids to overcome the entitlement mentality.

1. Learn to Say No

This doesn't mean you have to start saying no to everything your kids request. If you need to ask for time to think about it first, by all means do so. But if you do say no to something, make sure you stick to it. Modern society has made instant gratification the norm. Remember when you had to spend hours at the library to research for a paper, and your parents had to drive you? Now all that information is just a mouse-click away. And sites like Amazon make purchasing something super-easy, and it often arrives in one day.

So to counteract this, saying no now and then is a good idea. It may seem strange, and if your child reacts with a huge outburst, just calmly ride it out and don't engage in an argument.

2. Push Your Kids a Bit

Sometimes, kids needs to stretch. If you give in to their dislikes - they may refuse to do something legitimate because they are afraid or uncomfortable - then you deny them the opportunity to sacrifice something for others.

For example, what if your child was asked to speak before a group, and was terrified at the prospect? Requiring him or her to do it despite the fear teaches several things: first, that sometimes you need to sacrifice for others; second, a sense of accomplishment; and third, a deeper understanding of what it means to give time and effort (not just giving things).

3. Just Because Others "Have" Doesn't Mean You "Deserve"

No one owes your child because he or she has less than another child. If the other kids at school have gaming systems, then your child is going to feel like he or she deserves one, too. It may go further - your child may feel like wealthier kids owe him something of their wealth just because they have more than he does.

To counteract this, teach your child to take responsibility for his wants. Tell him he will need to earn the money to buy that particular thing, and help him find age-appropriate jobs that pay (if you can afford it, you can pay him to do some jobs). This helps your child come away with a sense of accomplishment (once again), and a recognition that if he wants something, he can take the initiative and go out and get it.

Over-Parenting: Are You Doing Too Much for Your Child?

2013-03-18T00:45:00.000-05:00

This is a somewhat uncomfortable subject, but there seems to be a concern these days over parents who "do too much." The problem of "learned helplessness" has reared its head lately, as children struggle to be independent after having everything done for them. Are you over-parenting? Are you doing too much for your child? How can you tell?

First of all, be easy on yourself. Don't allow yourself to feel guilty or condemned. Just take a look at your parenting and check out these tips, and make adjustments where you see fit.

1. "It's Just Easier to Do It Myself"

Yes, in the short term, it is. Who has the time to listen to their seven-year-old gripe about tying his or her shoes - and act like he "can't" by doing it wrong on purpose - when you need to get out the door or be late? In some cases, it's better to be late...or anticipate this delay and allow time for it. Likely, it will only happen a few times before your child gets the hint that he'd better just tie her shoes.

Please note, though, that this will only work if your child knows how to do the task you're expecting, whether it's tying shoes or getting dressed or making the bed. If your child really doesn't know how to do something, take the time to teach him first so that you both don't end up frustrated. That brings us to the next point...

2. Give Your Kids Tools

Parents can err in two extremes - on the one hand, we do too much and don't let them do anything on their own; but on the other hand, we can't expect our kids to do things they don't know how to do. The middle ground is giving kids the tools they need and then getting out of the way.

"Tools" come in the form of life skills, from preparing food to school projects to job interviews. If you step aside too soon, your child may not have the tools he needs to go forward with the task at hand and may give up. If you step in too often or too soon, you child may presume he can't do it (or not care to bother since you're doing it) and also give up. So a good idea is to teach your kids the skills involved and then step aside once you know that they know.

Sometimes, that means giving how-to details that can seem ridiculous to an adult, but are necessary for a child.

3. Are You Fostering Internal Motivation?

Ultimately, motivation must come from within for true independence, say experts. Broad requests like "do your homework" or "clean your room" can seem overwhelming (think "clean your house" if you're an adult! It's a huge task when you phrase it that way).

Coaching and encouragement are fine, experts note; that's not the same as doing the task for your child. Try making a checklist so he can see the steps involved in the chore or task at hand. Instead of "do your homework," for example, you could make a list like this:

* Find comfy place to set up books
* Get a drink and a snack
* Write out spelling words and study list
* Do math worksheet
* Read chapter of book and write paragraph summary

You can break it down further, too, into sub-steps - whatever works for your child. Also, a list (preferably one your child helps write out) keeps you from having to tell him what to do over and over.

Instilling Values: Children Learn What They Live

2013-03-17T09:31:00.000-05:00

Instilling values into your children is one of the most important things parents do. Many parents, though, are not sure how to go about it. A key principle or philosophy to remember is: children learn what they live.

Here are some tips on instilling values with this philosophy in mind.

1. Criticism

Psychologists say that kids who grow up with criticism tend to grow up condemning others. Most of us don't want our kids to learn criticism of others as a value. So what can we do?

We've all had moments like this: Your child is playing, and accidentally knocks over something, say a cup of juice. You respond with exasperation and comment about his or her "clumsiness". You may continue, lecturing your child on how not to be so clumsy while you clean up the mess, griping about how much trouble it is because you were right in the middle of fixing dinner.

If you could stop and rewind, it would be ideal to rewind to the place where you uttered the first critical comment. But if it pops out of your mouth before you can stop it (and that's often how it works), then stop before continuing to criticize. Instead, apologize for the comment, assure your child that he is not clumsy, and point out that you've spilled things, too. He can help you clean it up, and instead of griping, cheerfully show him how easy it was to "correct" that mistake. No harm done.

2. Prioritize Your Values

Is going to church important to you? Are exercise and fitness things you value? What about individuality and independence? Is it important to you that people be kind to each other? If so, prioritize these things. Let your child see what these values look like in action, and your child will be more likely to emulate what he sees you doing. Living your values is a sort of "how to" tutorial for your child, who may not otherwise know what living out these values looks like.

3. Include Your Kids

Kids can feel alienated if their viewpoints, feelings, sensibilities, and opinions are seldom considered. Impress on your kids that their participation in the family is important and valuable. This helps them take their responsibilities to the family more seriously, especially if they feel appreciated.

If your kids are included in the joys as well as the responsibilities, it helps balance all those tasks that are necessary. Then they may be more likely to be actively contributing members of their own families and
communities as adults. Again, children learn what they live.

How to Get Your Kids Involved in Their Community

2013-03-17T00:28:00.001-05:00

A community with active kids tends to be a vibrant, functioning community. But how can you get your kids to be involved in your community? Here are some tips and suggestions.

1. Future Goals

One of the things that active community involvement can do is help prepare kids for their future. So, as your kids get to an age where they can understand, introduce the concept of goals for the future. Take your child's interests into account, and work with him or her to formulate some long-term goals. Then, when community programs and activities are offered that coincide with these interests and goals, your child may be more motivated to participate.

A note on long-term goals - the items on this list can be somewhat broad, like "become more independent," or specific, such as "get an apartment in a specific area one month after college graduation." Having a mix of broad and specific future goals provides a more realistic and flexible look at the future.

2. Define Interests

For kids of all ages, finding what they enjoy doing is part of growing up. Sometimes, just trying a few activities without a lot of commitment can help determine what your child enjoys. As you help your child figure out what he enjoys, he can be on the alert for community activities that fit with his interests. Community involvement can also help your child figure out his interests and passions.

3. Know What's Going On

Regularly check your local newspaper and keep an eye out for flyers to find out what activities are going on in your community on a given day, week, month, or season. Talk to other parents and join online groups and social media to make sure you're "in the know" about what's happening in and around your community.

4. Head Up an Activity Yourself

Does your community not have anything going on? Why not head something up? You can organize a neighborhood nature hike, or a special clean-up day. You could even get some neighbors together and host a block party. Maybe your child likes gardening - how about a community garden?

5. Volunteer

Encourage your kids to volunteer in an area of interest - or even an area of non-interest to get the experience. Your local animal shelter, nursing homes, or house of worship are good places to start. Local charities almost always need help. Maybe even your whole family can get involved.

How to Help Kids Understand Their Emotions

2013-03-15T23:05:00.000-05:00

Emotions can be very big and scary things when you're a child, and not just for younger children. The emotional upheaval of adolescence can seem overwhelming as well. Helping kids identify, understand, and take ownership of their emotions does them a life-long favor. But how can you do this?

Here are some tips on how to help kids understand their emotions.

1. Give the Feelings Names

It's amazing how often we adults forget that, for small children, emotions are nameless, scary things. We forget that they don't always know what is happening to them in the middle of an emotional "moment"!

For toddlers and preschoolers, it helps to provide the words that go with the emotion. "Right now you are feeling angry," you could say. This helps them understand what's going on: "Anger - so that's what that is!"

For older kids and teens, it might help to explain some of the changes they are going through and let them know that overwhelming emotions are normal for their age.

2. Feelings Are Not "Wrong"

Sometimes, in our efforts to correct undesirable behavior, parents correct their kids for feeling a certain way. But no one can really control the way he or she feels about something; what we can control is how we act.

Try validating your child's feelings - "I understand you feel frustrated, and it's okay to feel frustrated," while also correcting behavior - "You can feel frustrated, but you can't throw things." Then you can offer an alternative. "When you feel frustrated, scream into this pillow," or "Punch the couch with your fist." It's important to provide an outlet and let your kids know what is acceptable behavior, not just what isn't.

3. Talk about Your Own Feelings

Give your own feelings names, and do it verbally. You can say you feel angry, or really excited, or whatever emotion causes you to behave in a way that makes your kids take note. Hopefully, you can also model appropriate outlets for those feelings. If you drop the ball on this one, talk about it with your kids. Ask them how Mom/Dad could have handled the emotions better.

4. The Feelings of Others

As your child comes to understand the words that belong to the feelings and, for older kids, some of the reasons behind the big emotions, you can point out that a behavior of theirs makes another person feel a certain way. And your kids will know what that feels like, and will likely want to stop whatever behavior makes the other person feel bad.

For instance, you could tell your child you understand she is angry, but she is causing her little brother to be very sad. Your daughter will understand what "sad" feels like, and probably won't want to keep making her little brother feel that way. This will help your kids in relationships later, too - empathizing with the emotions of others is important to having effective interpersonal relationships.

Four Tips for Stopping Homework Power Struggles

2013-03-15T11:32:00.000-05:00

Do you find yourself caught up in a nightly (or daily) struggle over your kids' homework? It can be a frustration for everyone, especially if there is a lot of homework or your kids don't understand it. And matters get even more complicated if kids lie about their homework, saying they don't have any when they do, or tell you they've finished it when they've been listening to music in their room for two hours.

What's a Parent to Do?

While there are no magical fixes, here are four tips for stopping homework power struggles.

1. Motivation

Remember how you were about homework as a kid - you probably didn't understand the long-term implications of getting it done (or not getting it done). For most kids, homework is a burdensome inconvenience that keeps them from doing what they want. Period. Lectures aren't likely to change their minds! Being aware of this is the first step to tackling the homework problem. And hopefully, you can motivate them with the following tips.

2. Let them choose a time

If you're trying to get your kids to do their homework right after school or right before dinner, maybe it's time to reconsider. Ask your child to come up with a time when he (or she) feels most energized and focused - what time is good for him? You may be surprised. He may tell you that he feels too fragmented right after school and needs to regroup, or he might mention that he feels better after dinner. Try to work with your child to come up with a good time for the homework to get done.

3. Schedule that time

Once you've come up with a good time for homework, schedule it in. Work it into your child's daily schedule so that he can see where it fits in, and arrange things accordingly.

4. Make it comfy

Does your child need to be alone and quiet to concentrate? Try fixing up a quiet corner for him to work, and respect his privacy. Maybe your child prefers music and activity around him to focus. In that case, set up a place where he can be "part of the action" - as long as he doesn't get distracted.

The place where your child does his or her homework should be set up to be a comfortable spot. This can make going to do their homework something to look forward to (almost). Set aside a space where your child has some snacks, drinks, music (if it doesn't distract), a favorite chair (maybe buy a special chair, like a beanbag chair, for the purpose), and even plants or a place for a favorite pet to join them.

If you are short on space, these items can be taken out and set up each day and put away when homework is finished. The point is to make the homework spot a place where your child wants to be.

Consistency in Parenting: Top Tips

2013-03-15T01:08:00.000-05:00

Consistency in Parenting: Top Tips

Consistency: how many parents sigh or roll their eyes when they hear that word? That's because consistency is tough, and most parents don't feel like they are nearly consistent enough.

No one is consistent 100% of the time. But aiming for consistency the majority of the time is not unreasonable or impossible. Here are some top tips on how to be more consistent as a parent that should help.

1. Why Be Consistent?

What's the big deal about consistency anyway? The point of all this consistency talk is simply this: if kids know the consequences of a behavior, and there's no area of doubt, then they're probably more likely to modify their behavior. Consistency puts action behind your words; it shows your kids that you do mean what you say. It gives your words power, and prevents you from having to take action every single time (often a different action every single time, which gets exhausting). So it pays to deliver!

2. The Role of Planning

Planning ahead is important for consistency. Determine what your expectations for your kids are, from the broad (doing well in school) to the specific (behaving in the grocery store). Armed with your knowledge of your kids' idiosyncrasies - you know what sets them off and you know the "problem areas" - come up with a plan of action based on their behavior and the behavior you expect. Then calmly implement your plan...consistently.

3. Involve the Other Parent

Whether you are in a traditional marriage or not, if Mom and Dad are both in the home, it's important for them to be on the same page regarding discipline and expectations. So a good idea is to sit down with the other parent and discuss your plans of action. Having both parents on board with the plan of action, expectations, and consequences just adds to the consistency.

4. Involve the Kids

Really? Yes, involving the kids is a healthy idea, sources say. Let them have a voice in the consequences, and make sure they understand the expectations. It's not really fair to spring the consequences and expectations on them unexpectedly; it makes more sense for kids to follow rules if they know the rules (and the consequences of breaking them) ahead of time!

5. Consistency Is Not the Same as Inflexibility

There's really no need to be rigid and inflexible for fear of appearing inconsistent. Sometimes, flexibility is required, and that should not undermine your consistency if you go about it the right way. For example, explain the change to your child - if it's an exception to the usual rule, let them know why and that this is not going to be a habit. Or maybe one of the consequences does need to be adjusted; talk it over as a family and agree to make the change together.

This is not being inconsistent; it's being flexible and willing to make changes where necessary, which is likely as good a model for your children as being consistent!

How to Modify Your Household Budget

2013-03-13T23:24:00.001-05:00

Budgets are exceptional tools that help you stay in control of your money. The simple act of creating a budget, and sticking to it, reduces stress and helps keep your finances in order. However, a budget isn’t something you just set and forget. It’s an adaptable document or plan that needs to grow and change as your finances and financial goals change. Here are a few tips to modify your household budget.

#1 Schedule a Time to Review

It’s important to spend time each month to balance your budget. Total your expenses. Did you stay in budget? Why or why not? Do you have any areas of your budget where you’re under? Great - what will you do with the extra cash? Review your budget each month and make tiny modifications to help you maximize your money.

#2 Set Goals

One of the reasons people create budgets is to understand where their money is going and to make sure they have enough to go around. However, it’s also a powerful tool to help you attain financial goals. In fact, if you’re not using a budget to help you achieve goals, you’re missing out.

Goals can include short-term goals like saving for a vacation and long-term goals like saving for college and/or retirement. Goals can include paying off your mortgage early or saving enough money to afford life insurance. There are any number of financial goals you can use your budget to help you achieve.

#3 Look for Consistencies

When reviewing your budget, look for consistencies. Where are you always over or under budget? These are prime areas to capitalize on. For example, if you’re always under budget in your entertainment category, then you can reduce that category and reallocate the money to a different category.

#4 Look for Inconsistencies

Look for areas of your budget where you’re always off. For example, if your utilities budget is always over or under budget, examine the reason why and see if there are steps you can take to create a consistent monthly amount. For example, many utility companies allow you to pay a predetermined amount each month. This helps you avoid changing your utility budget each season. And it helps you create a budget that’s easier to track and control.

#5 Don’t Panic

Finally, it’s easy to panic when your monthly expenses don’t match your budget. Don’t panic. Use your budget to help you make changes. It’s also a great tool to take to a credit counselor or a financial advisor.

Creating a budget is a great start. Now take the time to review it and change it as your needs, goals, and finances change. Small tweaks and modifications to your budget can really add up.

Should You Borrow Money to Start a Business? The Pros and Cons of a Business Loan

2013-03-13T11:06:00.002-05:00

Should You Borrow Money to Start a Business? The Pros and Cons of a Business Loan

Starting a business is an exciting time. There are plans to make, goals to establish, and a business to launch. And unfortunately, starting a business costs money - often more money than you may have. This causes a conundrum. Do you borrow money to start your business or pursue another course of action? You could continue to save money until you have enough.
There are of course pros and cons to both decisions. Let’s take a look at both to help you make the best decision for your financial future.

Pros of Borrowing Money to Start a Business

* Get started right away – One of the biggest, and most tempting, benefits of borrowing money is that you can start your business right now, while you have momentum and enthusiasm.

* Tax write off – In most cases, but not all (please check with your accountant), you can deduct the interest you pay on a business loan.

* Feedback – Depending on who you’re borrowing from, you may receive feedback on your business plan or idea. This can be invaluable. Investors, banks, or personal lenders may be able to point out potential flaws in your plan. You can then fix them before you launch.

There are many ways to borrow money to start your business. You can borrow from a bank, from friends and family, or you can borrow from a credit card. Each lender comes with its own set of pros and cons, so weigh the decision carefully.

Cons of Borrowing Money to Start a Business

* Interest – The biggest downside to borrowing money is the interest you have to pay back. Sure, you can deduct it as an expense but this is still money that you won’t have in your pocket. And it affects your personal revenue and profits. Paying interest means that it can conceivably take you longer to become profitable.

* Stress – Owing money to anyone can be stressful. And it can be a downer when you’re so excited about your business to have debt hanging over your head. Fluctuating interest rates and the application process can be stressful as well. And if you borrow money from friends or family, then the stress of owing money to a loved one can be overwhelming.

On your own or with financial help, the decision to borrow money to start your business is a big one. Weigh the pros and cons carefully. There may be a way to start your business with less capital than you think.

Living Paycheck to Paycheck? A Few Tweaks to Your Cash Flow Can Make a World of Difference

2013-03-12T20:37:00.001-05:00

If you’re living paycheck to paycheck then you know it’s an incredibly stressful way to live. And chances are, some months you have to go into debt to manage your expenses. This debt can snowball and before you know it you’re in over your head. You might be surprised to know that a few tweaks to your cash flow can make a huge difference in your life.

#1 Make a Budget with Dates and Deadlines

If you don’t have a budget, make one. Right now. Today. A budget will quickly show you where you’re spending your money and where you might be able to save. And instead of making a traditional budget, create one that lists when your income is received (when do you get paid?) and when are your bills due. This simple step will help you see when you have money coming in and when it’s going out.

#2 Change Payment Dates

Using the dates on your budget, you can begin to see when you often have money in your account and when you don’t. This is important and it can help you save. For example, imagine you get paid on the first and your bills aren’t due until the twentieth.

That leaves you twenty days to spend your money and by the time the twentieth rolls around you don’t have enough to cover your bills. Change your dates to better match your payment dates. If you get paid on the first, set your bills to be paid on the fifth. And if you can’t change your payment dates, pay the bill ahead of time or set the money aside in a separate account so you don’t spend it.

#3 Cut out Luxuries – Just for a Little While

If you’re often over budget, cut out your luxuries for a few months. This accomplishes two things. It helps you see what luxuries are really worth your money and which ones aren’t. It also helps you get caught up with your debt. When you’re back in the black, you can begin to add a few important luxuries back into your budget.

Finally, create an emergency fund. Do this before you pay down any debt. Your emergency fund may take months to create. Do it anyway. If you can only save ten dollars a week then that’s all you can save. The goal is to set aside a thousand dollars in a separate account. This account shouldn’t be too easy to access. It’s for emergencies. Now, whenever you unintentionally exceed your budget you don’t have to panic or go into debt. You can borrow from your emergency fund to make up the difference.

How to Kick-Start Your Savings Plan

2013-03-11T21:48:00.000-05:00

Every time you turn on the news or read a newspaper or magazine, there are money experts telling you to save more money. In a perfect world it’d be easy to save money. Yet if you’re like most people, you spend your time playing catch up and trying to stay out of debt.

Saving money is a luxury. As it often is with goals, if you can get a head start and some momentum it’s much easier to follow through. The following tips will help you kick-start your savings plan and get the momentum you need to achieve your financial goals.

Before you get started, establish a savings goal and a purpose for your savings. You may have several savings goals. For example, saving for retirement and for a tropical vacation. If necessary, focus on one goal at a time. Get that savings account growing and on track before you shift your focus to another goal.

Tip #1 Know Where Your Money Goes

You probably know how much you earn and the amount of some of your expenses. However, you may not be aware of all of the smaller expenses that slowly deplete your bank account. Track your spending for a month. List every single expense, including those coffee drinks you purchase from time to time. Include every single expense no matter how small. At the end of the month, total the spending in terms of categories.

Tip #2 Use Your Information to Create a Budget

Use the expense tracking information to create a budget. This may sound tedious; however, it will help you control your money. This is the first step to being able to truly achieve a solid savings plan. You have the information to know where you can cut back your spending and thus save more money. Add a savings category to your budget and automate your savings.

Tip #3 Financial Windfalls

Any financial windfalls you receive need to go straight into your savings account. This is where you’ll really start to gather that momentum discussed earlier. If you receive a tax return, put it in savings. If you earn a bit of overtime, put it in savings. If you win $40 with a lottery ticket, put it in savings. If you find a twenty-dollar bill in your jeans when you’re doing the laundry, put it into savings.

Finally, keep tabs on your savings and watch it grow. This step is motivating because it gives you a sense of accomplishment. Whether you’re only able to save ten dollars a week or a thousand dollars a week, the point is to start saving.