Sylvie says...

sweet, an award

2012-02-01T10:22:00.004-05:00

Nearly everyday, Gill, Mojo Writin', gives me an interesting - often twisty - but always intriguing, short story to read .....I look forward to meeting her new characters, seeing what they're up to, and what crazy bomb Gill is going to drop at the end.

Today...instead of finding a cool new short, I found an award!

Fun. Okay, now I am supposed to share seven factoids about myself and then spread the love to seven unsuspecting bloggers.

First, my 7

1. I don't know what to do with my arms when having a picture taken. Awkward to the core

like this funky frog from the zoo last year...

2. My calico cat matches my decor - she is my inspiration - calico camo
-in fact, she could invite all her calico buddies over and I would probably not even notice-

3. I used to make fun of chai tea....I am sorry. Now, I buy the spices from a student's mom...and make it on the stove as a yummy treat. Again, sorry for making fun of you, Chai. I was nothing but a caffeinated bully.

4. I want a flying squirrel suit....I want to leap off tall buildings - cliffs - random houses...and SOAR
(saw it on a commercial - have to try this!)

and look it comes in PINK!

check it out... wingsuits

5. I read books multiple times....but hate watching movies twice - or blech, reruns

6. I do not like blue walls, blue furniture, light blue cars or most anything pastel - navy gets a pass, it is trying

7. February is my second favorite month....Groundhog Day, Valentine's Day - Day AFTER Valentine's Day clearance sales of the pink and red pretties...camping......
&

since March is my favorite, I am in for two full months of happiness :)

Now, to pass it on....

1.Wine-n-Chat
2.My Wandering Mind
3.View through Kat Eyes
4.Dish 6
5.MichaelsFishBowl
6.Faith in Ambiguity
7.The Heart-Shaped Muffin

I live by Murphy's law

2012-01-30T10:31:00.001-05:00

"Murphy's"
not a soap, a two part reality show

Part one, clean up

Saturday was a mad cleaning day....

wait, back up a sec....my dryer broke early last week, meaning I had nearly 7 days of dirty clothes to tackle - basketball and soccer uniforms, soccer socks, volleyball, running and workout clothes in the mix of TOWELS, and all the assorted regular work and school clothes. (and note- no basement, or "extra room" to hide it all)

While waiting, for my fabulous new dryer to spit out fluffy, warm clean clothes so I could put them all away...like it was a treat. (because it was), I put other things in their place, cleaned out cupboards, closets, the kitchen, bathroom...general house stuff.

then... I dusted. The tables, shelves, wooden blinds....it all looked and smelled so lovely - why not use the same stuff on my floors? I have a big fluffy flat dust mop thing (not a swifter, bigger and flatter..) anyways, I sprayed a bit of the furniture polish on the dust mop and shined up the floors.

They shined. Really shined. I loved it.

~End of Scene One~

Scene Two, enter the children

Whack! youngest slipped as she turned the corner, fell hard.

For a little while it was fun. Yeah sure, "ice skating" through the house is all fun and games until someone gets an eye poked out...or an arm possibly broken.

....not broken, but definitely a very deep bruise, instantly swollen, black and blue....painful. yikes.

after posting on Facebook my "mistake" many came back with the advice to use Murphy's Oil Soap....sure, a thinking person would know this.

I, on the other hand, live by Murphy's LAW ....
If you can screw something up by trying to clean it, I will.

Within the past year alone, I have broken, shrunk and stained more items attempting to clean them than I care to admit, but will list a few for examples. Among that embarrassing list sits my spotty oven - deep cleaning gone wrong....who knew oven cleaner was not for the stove top? The berber carpet in my one and only room with carpeting has very nice light tracks from a steam cleaner with "too strong" cleaner... hmpf, it worked in the other room...er, no it didn't....that's why that room now has wood floors. Favorite sweaters shrunk into child-size and most embarrassing - one day, in an attempt to quickly clean the kitchen floor, I accidentally grabbed the dishwasher soap bottle, instead of the floor cleaner....squirted it directly on the floor....and forever lightened sections of the dark wood. ahhh well. live and learn....or in my case, just live.

maybe I should have thought that through...

2012-01-28T11:08:00.001-05:00

"Okay, take off your shoes." I announced to my fourth period art class.

hmmmm, did not think that through.....more than half the class just finished gym class.....

oh well. The project was simple enough. I had them do a crayon rubbing of the bottom of their shoe, cut it out and then glue it on another sheet of paper. From there, it could be anything....and I was really impressed with what they came up with. The girl who always draws horses, turned her shoe rubbing into a very nice horse...

and the girl who turns every project into a reason to draw a princess...completely transformed her shoe print into well, just look, it is kind of amazing for a ten year old.

I posted more pics on the ...art rocks tab, proving this project was worth a slightly odorous classroom. : )

Those who finished early did some life drawing. I suggested they made "trophy" sketches of their friends.... (the princess-artist added a trophy full of roses as I was talking...not quite what I meant, but, if anything, that girl is consistent)

Two boys really got into it - check it out.... (and I should point out, that is a duct tape tie he is wearing, so cute)

Cleveland

2012-01-25T18:10:00.000-05:00

~Cleveland~

My son finally received the official news -he will be stationed in Cleveland.
-my daughter could only laugh- "yeah, people must be fighting over that port all right"
okay, so it is not Hawaii, but it is a great start and,

bonus...

- he will be paroling the waters where all his family and friends boat - ha, watch out.
~~~~~~~~~~

~*~*~*~a rebellious wordless wednesday post~*~*~*~

the deer in the headlights found a fork

2012-01-21T20:00:00.002-05:00

~Stage Fright~

This blog has been interrupted by an extreme episode of stage fright.

Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for tweeting and sharing

- really, I do appreciate the love.

but

there are times, usually in the midst of a creative process, when shyness takes over
- mentioned to explain my lack of posts -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That and.....early this week I was thrown a curve ball. Just when all is calm, nothing to be seen but miles and miles of the same, a situation popped out of no where.

(keeping it vague, because I don't want to jinx anything, and well - you know, that pesky shy thing)

I've come to a fork in the road

no, not that kind

When you can't see past your nose either way, making a decision is hard. I have a tendency to visualize to the point of making things seem real - but that does not mean that is the way they will turn out.

I can paint glorious rosy swatches all over each possibility,
spin it until it seemingly twirls pirouettes on it's own.
create an exciting emotional tsunami

which leaves me that much more confused.

Something I read in Psychology today this month is strangely relevant.....even if I don't want to acknowledge it. Entitled, "Why do Daydreamers Fail?" the study cited suggests that the more clearly you visualize, the less motivated, and in turn, less likely you are to succeed.

~hmpf~

The published paper mentioned, "Positive fantasies about idealized futures sap energy" flies right in the face of those who follow "The Secret." Even if it is a little depressing for this dreamer, I guess they have a point. I can practically transport to an idealized future, to the point that it feels like it already happened....which leads to the whole, been there, done that emotion.

so, i am giving logic and reality a shot with this big decision....trying to weigh out the options, consider how my decision will affect others, taking practicalities under consideration...and on and on. Where am I going, why?

do I use the wisdom of the Cheshire Cat

"If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t much matter which way you go."

or Yogi Berra
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

or both?

Either way will work, somehow, someway.... i imagine.

peeved

2012-01-16T00:07:00.003-05:00

What is your pet peeve?

When this topic was announced, I pinpointed my pet peeve instantly.

- people who are mean to the wait staff -

This annoys me from all angles.

When I waitressed at a comedy club, I found it pretty ironic that the worst behaved customers, the ones that complained and made huge fusses over the smallest things....were there on business, mainly staff parties of some sort. People, people, don't you realize waitresses shop, bank, and buy cars too....and more importantly - we talk. If the impression your business leaves is rude, immature or flat out hard to please...then do not expect our business....or the business of our friends, family....sure, you "business men" may think that a lowly cocktail waitress is inconsequential to your "big, important business" - but then you may be surprised at who we know.

Other than those big parties, one of the biggest pitfalls of working in a comedy club was that when the lights came on, everyone got up to leave at once...meaning, MANY people slip out without paying.... which is immediately deducted from the waitresses tips. ouch. Okay, maybe that's more than a pet peeve...

On the other side of the table, I've been out with people who treat restaurant staff with such a condescending manner that I've wanted to hide under the table. Last year at an event, a man fussed and complained the entire meal. The food wasn't cooked just right, the drink tasted "off" whatever that means and then, the final straw was when he pushed dessert away, disgusted that the New York cheesecake, that he ordered....was too dense, not light and fluffy like he prefers. (um, that is the definition of a New York style cheesecake sir, you must be thinking of Philadelphia style, which is not on the menu and so, you did not order it...)
He single-handedly destroyed the atmosphere of the entire table...no, the entire room. The owner of the restaurant even came over to apologize, and the rude putz put his hand up and turned away. seriously man?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

... I thought I'd quickly write this up and be done with it, but then a few others came to mind...

*people who put all their focus on physical perfection. Now I am all for beauty and taking care of yourself, but come on, there is more to life honey. (on the flip side - Toddlers and Tiaras - this is a big pet peeve of mine....ugh. those moms need to be focusing more on themselves - hit the gym, take yourself to the beauty parlor ...and focus less on your toddlers beauty, take your toddler to the playground,)

*saying you are getting so old - yes, of course you are aging, but stop acting old before your time....and by that I mean stop throwing the, "I'm too old for that card" - what a cop-out. (sometimes it may be true...but most of the time it is just ridiculous, a thirty-something saying they are too old to do anything, or a forty year old who is "too old" for *insert anything fun here*

*condescending tones....The, "I-know-more-than-you-about-everything" - attitude, followed up with the "If-I-don't-know-something,- it-must-not-be-important" - attitude.

When it comes to pet peeves, you really can't have just one.

~*~*~*~*~written for the GBE2 topic, pet peeve~*~*~*~*~*~

repeat

2012-01-14T00:18:00.003-05:00

Today in art class we made tessellations.

Cut, trace, repeat.

I posted a few pictures on the "art rocks" tab of this blog, but it feels appropriate to repeat myself here.

some kids got right to work - like the girl who quickly scribbled out a page of owls
another carefully cut, taped and traced a page full of chickens

we had cute cats, batman images, fox, rockets, dogs, houses, faces and....

Dragons.

But one kid stood out - er, actually he just sat...

After explaining the project, this boy just sat there. Not completely unusual, but he wasn't talking to friends, or being disruptive.... 5...10 minutes into class and he was doing nothing more than looking at his cardstock

then, all of a sudden, snip, snip, snip

(snip-snip-snip-snip...it was a dragon after all, with spikes and teeth)

then
Ta Da! dragons

really cool to watch his mind at work
and reminded me of my morning...when I decided all my classes had to go to Plan B

~~~~~~~~~~~
When I woke up and realized school was not cancelled due to the snow storm...
I sat
and stared

Had to come up with something other than my planned projects (too much to carry down the street in the snow...) We ended up doing pop art, tessellations, lizards, and cityscapes. Turned out to be a good plan since so many kids were absent. Try again next week.

(and I'll try again tomorrow on my blog - this is alls i gots today :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*~*~nablopomo~*~*~

what IS that?

2012-01-12T14:58:00.002-05:00

Ever have those moments when imagination kicks in a split second before logic? Just enough time to potentially say or do something ridiculous....you know, in light of reality.

Today, my daughter thought there was a cat hanging off the back of a fellows truck hitch.

After further investigation, we saw it was nothing more than a monkey...a stuffed monkey. The wet dangling stuffed animal "could" have been a cat hanging on for dear life...right? Oh my.

Not the best example, (just weird) but that got us talking. How many other times have I "seen" something that wasn't exactly there.

{disclaimer - not schizophrenic, creative is my default mode}

A few years ago, I was certain a giant bat was hanging from a telephone wire... I could feel the rush of adreneline- pure shot of fear.... so certain I even called a friend. Nope, just a trash bag.

My grandma was apparently certain she saw the biggest bee in the world...it was a hummingbird. now that is an honest mistake, see...

Then there was the strange incidence when my daughter and I both thought an exotic animal had escaped the mall into the parking lot....maybe a baby potbelly pig, or a chinchilla ....we slowly approached....talking about what we should do.....until,

"oh, um okay"

It was a discarded diaper.

Once, I scared a guy sleeping in his car at a soccer tournament...because I thought he was dead. (come on, his head was at a weird angle...) *just keep walking, just keep walking...

Now I could tell you about the time I thought I witnessed a murder...but honestly, it wouldn't make sense...I don't know what actually happened - or how to explain what I "thought" I saw. holy memory zapper thingee ( Men in Black )

Some say excess consumption of coffee makes you see things, hear things....maybe

(*awesome illusion from visual fun house)

...................or maybe it's all a conspiracy, man.

... thirsty?

2012-01-11T16:25:00.000-05:00

~Wordless Wednesday~

thirsty?

once upon a time there were castles

2012-01-10T23:26:00.002-05:00

As much as I love exploring in the woods -and- love spending time by the water.... I have a real "thing" for old buildings. Not just any old house though, I am talking about commercial properties- churches, schools, stores, factories.... stop. stare. imagine the history.... go ahead soak it all in.....dream of the possibilities...

The GBE2 prompt for this week is History... I may not know a pile of facts, could not recite all the names, dates and exact locations of historical events, but history resonates with me. History is nothing more than what happened -to people- and that is always interesting. My favorites; art history, architectural history, fashion history - all revolve around the people who made it so.

When I stand in the midst of a great old space, my mind goes to the workers, the time period....but mostly, when I see an old abandoned building, my mind starts churning, "how could I fix this up?" "what could this space be...?" "could I live here...?"

(((- now even though this history post is taking a turn, it still relates -
if you squint and turn your head slightly to the right...)))

I sometimes stalk real estate sites for old buildings - it's an odd hobby - I am not going anywhere anytime soon, but when the time is here - I will be ready (and know exactly where the best buildings are!)
This great space is somewhere in England - yeah, England ~shrug~ why not?

here's the write up;

Traditional brick construction with stone and brick facade fronting onto Market Street with further entrance on Queen Street.

Six good sized rooms off main reception area. Staircase leading to two rooms under the main stage area. Two staircases leading to first floor which is a spacious hall with high ceiling and a stage to the rear.

Total ground floor extends to 1918 sq ft. First floor 272 sq ft. Second floor 2294 sq ft.
Inside picture..... a little paint, a new floor, a few ceiling tiles (or something altogether new) -look at those windows.... aaaahhhh

This next one is flatout gorgeous..... I don't need a place like this - but goodness, it is for sale £289,000 (popping that into a currency convertor it comes out at $368,359)
I'd add, ONLY, to that number...not because I have an extra 365 grand lying about, but I do know people who live in everyday, ordinary big homes for approximately that amount of money. Heck, my son's appendicitis nightmare cost nearly that much. (month in hospitals including the two ambulance rides - transporting to different hospitals ) anyways, this is...

St. Georges Church in Central Manchester

now, you may be thinking - that would take a lot of work to fix up, heat-cool....well, it looks as though someone already did the basics.

wow, just wow.

For approximately the same amount of money - this old high school ( can I even say "old" after showing that actually old church....?) anyways, it was built in 1910 in North Carolina - cool - huge... how much fun that would be to fix up and transform...

....ideally though, I would love to take over a small old firehouse. Not only are set up cool, they are most likely located in town so the whole "art studio - workshop - home thing would work.

I don't know how to end this post. I keep staring at the screen....looking back at the pretty buildings...typing, deleting... time's up. Good bye, thanks for reading.

tick tock

2012-01-09T10:19:00.005-05:00

Here I am, start of a new day (technically, not the start, I've been up for hours...) but anyways, here it is, second week of January and you know what?

The clock is ticking. Only 51 more weeks to go. When I put it that way, a year seems so short. Only 365 days...if I had 365 pennies in my pocket, that would not be a lot...(well, it would be a lot, but would be gone in an instant...probably from dropping them on the floor and then eventually sucking them up with a vacuum) Even 365 dollars is not all that much when I take bills into consideration...

So, how can I possibly waste a day? Tomorrow I have to take off for my daughters birthday....( so glad I have the sort of job that affords that option )- but in order for me to AFFORD that option, I have to type...

.....and design my proposal for the public art program - yet again. yep every year for the past 4 years, maybe 5, I've submitted my best work....get accepted into round one....celebrate!....round two......celebrate! .....and then....no go. : ( BUT, I do it anyways. Persistence counts for something right?

.....get 30-some heads mounted on wood plaques. Yes, seriously. I have a large box of papier mache heads in my garage. At the end of the last class, I asked my son to grab the last box of heads from my classroom. - he just shook his head and said, "Only my mother." They will be very cool whimsical mounted animals...hopefully. I told the class to use their imaginations...in other words, I do not want to recognize bambi on the wall...but apparently reverse psychology works, they are turning out a bit too realistic. Have to break out the neon paints I guess, and glitter. lots of glitter

....work on a painting....not just any ol' painting, a COMMISSION piece. Can anyone say, synchronicity? A couple came over to pick up a tool, saw my new big painting, started asking questions....ended up asking me to paint one for their house. A harvest scene of some sort with lots of texture and color. Me, the girl who hung up her paint brushes a couple years ago, the one who stopped short of joining a wickedly fun group of girls for an art show two months ago, (details spilled here) the one who fought her way through the painting that now hangs on the wall...the very one that inspired a couple to buy one of their own.... proving the theory (in my head) ...if you give a mouse a cookie...(meaning, for those who aren't children's lit scholars, one thing leads to another)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
feeling gauge
right now I am feeling...
flat out overwhelmed....mixed with determination....and wait for it.....contentment.

That is a delicious combo for an adrenaline junkie.

Yes, I am still a little sad - but all the comments and messages after yesterday's pathetic post were really amazing, and regardless of the past, or the naysayers (both actual naysayers and those in my head) the clock is still tick tocking. Get to work!

*~*for nablopomo, which stands for National Blog Posting Month, in case you were wondering~*~*

...I don't want to talk about it

2012-01-08T20:04:00.002-05:00

Today, I do not really want to blog....but I will because, well, that is what I do.

Let me throw out this disclaimer first; I am a girl. I fully embrace this fact, which means, I sometimes feel a little too intensely, and "hear" things that are not actually said.. Not to say I hear voices, but I do have the fabulous ability to know what someone, particularly those of the male persuasion, is actually thinking. Yes, I can read minds. anyways...

It's been a rough day

1. I made plans to see a group of friends...a group that used to center around my friend who recently passed away. My eyes were leaky faucets the entire friggin time. Memories flooded in and I just couldn't stop the flow. Don't get me wrong (especially Michelle if you are reading this) I had a great time, it was great seeing everyone...just, well you know.

2. I had a facebook conversation go wrong. As I wrote in an earlier post, I've drastically changed my diet to hopefully reverse a health issue....playing the role of a guinea pig because I have to DO something. After replying it didn't matter what "facts" were shared about why a person needs meat, and that I am sticking with the vegan experiment...they replied in no uncertain terms that I will fail. Um, what? I will fail, thanks, just what I needed to hear.
You will fail = You will stay sick...or worse. thanks, sure hope you are wrong, but if you are not, guess you will be able to say, I told you so - geez, some people never lose.

3. Do you ever want to just shout from the rooftop, (or your front door if you are afraid of heights,)

"I am not okay!"
Well, I am not okay today. Nope. Not Okay. That is the truth. Feeling sad and sorry for myself.

Dang, leaking again.

.....in between writing this, and finding some sort of image to post, I received a phone call and an invite for coffee. Wow, I needed that.

Maybe life isn't so bad after all.

maybe

~this sad sack of a post was written for nablopomo.~
my apologies, dear reader

call me crazy....

2012-01-07T21:20:00.002-05:00

Between my sisters, my friends and my children, the hair dye companies are undoubtedly financially stable. My dark hair doesn't allow for much change, but I did try black once and have yet to give in to gray...... on the other hand, my naturally blond sisters have been red heads, brunettes and once there was an interesting black and bleach blond duo.

~~~~~~~~~~~

My sons undefeated varsity soccer team decided to all bleach their hair for the state tournament which created an interesting almost scary look. Then, after the bright blond look, my son (#7) thought why not go blue... that only latest a week or so before he wanted to take the color out. Funny thing is, for a while there, his head resembled a yummy pile of cotton candy. The blue didn't quite come all the way out, instead it left light purple and pink sections....pretty look for a tough 18 year old I have to say.

(the coaches didn't dye their hair- spoil sports)
I did mine...sort of

anyways, all his experimenting hardly matters, since he has very little hair to speak of now

In the meantime my oldest daughter was experimenting with hair dye herself. As a swimmer her hair color was constantly in flux anyways so she just helped it along with sun-in type products and occassionally added little streaks of color. She's done with all that now. Completely content with her dirty blond hair.

My other son only tried highlights once, but after being compared to Justin Bieber vowed to never mess with his hair again...we'll see about that....

........... all this brings me to the fact that I dyed my youngest daughters hair tonight.

She asked for red hair for her birthday....

and I figured, why not.

This inexpensive gift made her super happy and there is nothing wrong with happy.

I know, I know...hair dye is not intended for kids, the chemicals, the habit...blah, blah, blah...... not to mention the mess -yikes!

To that I say, I have been through this before. Unless hair dye actually caused my oldest's high hairline, I'd say letting kids try on different looks is okee dokee.

- she may even outgrow it by the time she hits high school -
or not, either way, it's a harmless "statement" in my eyes.

pictures say a thousand words

2012-01-06T16:21:00.001-05:00

Revisiting the "work" prompt today for the GBE2.

While I have talked on and on about my work, I figured today I'd share what my kids do. My love for working, ~doing what you love~, has certainly been passed down.
They all have jobs, and actually all enjoy working....guess I did something right afterall.

This is going to be a picture-heavy post because the saying is true, pictures say a thousand words.

This is a photo of my daughter at work. She is a teacher in an inner city daycare....it's a tough job, but she adores it. She started as a volunteer, went to part-time teacher's helper, and recently became a teacher there herself. It can be hard sometimes for me, since the area isn't exactly nice, but she really loves those kids and actually -often threatens to bring a few of the kids home (I wouldn't mind)

Aside from the daycare, she also works as a photographer, taking senior class photos, covering events and honing her skills so she can travel the world - as she declared when she was barely 10.

My son is a gym teacher right now- he has joined the Coast Guard and is waiting in limbo...but in the meantime, loves teaching his classes. He has all ages, 5 year olds to senior high, and does a fabulous job with all of them.

This stretching picture has a funny story....I swung by his gym to take a quick picture of him "at work" and one of the parents happened to be visiting. She smiled and sweetly asked, "Oh, which one is yours?" I had to say, "The big bald one." yep, the teacher is my "little one" ha! He also works at a tool and die shop part time....no pictures of that place... and he works with his little brother ..... or for his little brother depending on who you are talking to...

They cut lawns, landscape, build gardens, collect leaves, snowplow, shovel, clean gutters...whatever is needed. The picture above shows them racing to get my backyard done..so they can move on to paying jobs :) ....it hardly needs two walk behinds...but oh well, it got done fast!

they built this walkway and all the gardens for a neighbor.....

and they have fun doing it all, that's Joe pushing a wheelbarrow on his ripstick (an inline skateboard sorta thing)

Joe also has a knack for anything mechanical - thankfully since his brother was not blessed with the same skills...

my youngest is a mother's helper ...she has been watching twin boys since they were only a month old...basically she is a babysitter in training for my slightly overwhelmed friend.

Working is not a horrible burden, the picture below is of my daughter working at Cedar Point, yeah, she is kinda sassy. Her class did a fairly lucrative fundraiser and had a blast doing it...

and finally, they all work around the house...my happy little minions, gotta love em!

working out the kinks

2012-01-05T22:44:00.001-05:00

Today was set up to be a Very Productive Day. I had all the tools to move forward on several projects. Not only did I have the means and the time, I had the need. Honestly, between deadlines and money, there should have been nothing stopping me. I can be very focused, work until I can not keep my eyes open, skip meals, sleep and well, everything- unfortunately today was not a focusing day. I worked and putzed and started one thing only to think about the loose strings on the other....

The prompt for today was, "what is the hardest part about a beginning?"
well that's easy, the hardest part is what to do at that first stumble.
You begin something new, exciting, ambitious even and then something happens

- a bad day, an emergency, bad news, or maybe laziness just sneaks up from behind and overtakes you.

At that point lots of people quit.

I'll bet a lot of those resolutions made around the world a few days ago are already abandoned,

or maybe they weren't even made in the first place because of past failures.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to my day of missed opportunities...
after I shake myself off and start over again, it is time to work out the kinks, meaning I need to straighten out a few issues with my big plans, namely - I need to factor in sleep, planning things from 5 am to 12 am and later is simply not going to fly. I ran out of steam around 3, took a cat nap, (so I wouldn't be a hazard on the road) ... went to watch my son's basketball game .... stopped at the bank at the last second, forgot to mail an important letter....and on and on... oh, and I was starving by the time we finally got home, (should make time to eat lunch...) need to take another look at my resolutions.

Not abandoning them, no, just have to hone them in.

whoa baby, slow down

~night, night~

*written for nablopomo*
(....and sort of squeezed in the BFF, resolutions prompt, and the GBE2 work prompt)
sometimes ya just gotta cut corners
~

one foot in front of the other

2012-01-04T14:24:00.002-05:00

In the whirlwind of the holidays, kids off school, long weekend, indoor soccer starting up, first real snow...I forgot about my commitment to the January nablopomo (translation- daily blogging) but, here I am, so I will just jump in from here. Very appropriate choice too, since looking at their prompt for the day, I had to laugh...

"Are you superstitious about beginnings? Anything you do to start out on the right foot?" Ha, no. Not superstitious at all, beginnings are wonderful, jump in - right foot, wrong foot, backwards, headfirst, belly flop...hardly matters, just get out there and do something.

...metaphorically speaking of course. there is one activity that I can think of that I have to have all my ducks in a line, have to take a deep breath and focus before stepping forward. I'm warning you it is a little ridiculous...

....escalators make me unnecessarily nervous. I have to HOLD on to the rail, focus intently, catch the step and do not let go. Taking the kids out when they were younger was normally fine. They are well-behaved kids, they didn't run off, yell or throw tantrums...but faced with the dilemma of holding my child's hand, and a diaper bag, stroller or purchases, I was the one freaking out. (quietly, inside of course)

I am not a mall person as it is, so I do not have to confront escalators very often...and when I do, no longer do I have to hold my kids hands on those contraptions. In fact, they would actually prefer I did not give them my death grip.

So, while I am all "go for it" "make a leap into the unknown" and ever ready to go on an insane roller coaster, zip line or other adreneline bursting activity....escalators make me freeze.

what is wrong with real stairs people?

use it or lose it.
one foot in front of the other, you can do it

Tower City at Christmas is beautiful

...or any other day of the year

and for the record- please note the real stairs.

ten today

2012-01-03T09:47:00.001-05:00

Ten on Tuesday which feels like Monday from Roots and Rings

1. What did you get for Christmas? Well, I wrote about the Chanel purse below.... other than that, a really pretty candle holder and a metal leaf bowl -full of fancy cookies from my sister, a popcorn maker, fluffy makeup brushes and paint. - plus while Christmas shopping I bought new pjs for Christmas morning and a pair of tall boots - Merry Christmas to me.

2. Have you taken down your Christmas decorations? YES, up, up and away!

3. What did you do for New Years Eve? not a whole lot, but ...at the strike of midnight I pulled out kazoos

4. Do you like accents? Very much, I even go a little out of my way to bank because of accents...for some reason my bank of choice has several tellers with Eastern European accents, job fair maybe? Reminds me of Rocky and Bullwinkle- like I am banking with Boris and Natasha :)

and I could listen to this little fella all day

5. What kind of television do you have?
Had to go look, it's a Sharp, small flat screen hanging on the wall. I like it up there, looks like a black painting when not on...although, it may be set a little too high....oh well, it's sort of like sitting in the front row of a movie theater.

6. Did you make any changes at the beginning of 2012? I got a head start on some major diet changes in December - but added a few more, work related changes starting today. All's good, love resolutions.

7. What’s the last book you read and do you recommend it? I'm on a non-fiction, tips and tricks sort of reading binge....I do not recommend this, far too much advice for one person.

8. Do you stay current on celebrity gossip? just enough to know who is who

9. Do you know the words to Bohemian Rhapsody? Gangstas Paradise? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Ha, yes....strange how lyrics stick in your brain fo-eva. My kids are scared by this. I. hear. every. word. which is why I cannot listen to the radio to fall asleep.

10. What is your favorite education television show? Aside from Sesame Street, I guess Myth Busters would have to be it - ooo and Bear Grylls, Man vs. Wild - lovely accent :)

"Roots on Fire"

2012-01-03T07:55:00.004-05:00

"Roots on Fire" Done. Hung. On to the next one.

"Roots on Fire" is hanging in my living room - did not turn out quite as expected, but it's done and I had fun, so all's good.

The older post, Wait for it.... , shows some of the transformation and laid down the plan of where I was headed, I said back then about the unfolding painting "...... is the idea of the unseen. It is unfolding an image of a life...showing that what is "under the surface" is far more than what is seen - more than what even you can feel....the intertwining and far-reaching qualities of a single life are extraordinary. A single right step, or stray word can have a massive effect on the very root system of another..."

This took much longer than usual, but it had been
SO long since I "really painted" - not just "art teacher painted" I had to ~~figure out,~~ play with paints and tools again.

next canvas is set up and ready

(promise, no tree this time...pinky swear)

contradictions are us.....

2011-12-31T14:15:00.001-05:00

My sister gave me a Chanel purse for Christmas.

(yes, she is that awesome)

I was shocked, we don't generally exchange major gifts. Sure we pull together something, most of the time...but there is no pretense, we are not um, wealthy, by any means, nor do we pretend to be. There have been plenty of years when homemade gifts had to do - (as in last year, not just back when we were little.)

Now, this Chanel purse is perfect, and fancy, and all around a Very Nice Gift....but, I was surprised at my reaction. I kinda LOVE this bag. I hugged it all the way home, practically giddy.... haven't even used it yet - but it is sitting on my shelf in my bedroom, just smiling at me with it's happy little CC's. - This surprised everyone around me...and me too.

Why is that a surprise? Seriously, part of my job is to write on fashion trends and shopping articles. Fashion fuels my imagination, I love shoes that are far far out of my reach, I actually follow designers, like a groupie, and will admit to thinking Lady Ga Ga is a friggin genius (not really a fan, just think she is a marketing genius, like Madonna)

But, I am a mass of contradictions. I am a newbie vegan, a long-time treehugger and an artist who tends to walk far off the beaten path....yep straight into the deep dark woods. I write about things you would find in Macy's, but shop Goodwill, or on a good month Marshall's.

I have no problem spending top dollar for a good pair of basketball shoes for my son, ....but will wait and wait for the perfect pair of heels to go on clearance .... they always do, got my new "party heels" for $6.....marked down from $129. honest. That was a tag I should have held on to....

What is this post about? I don't know....just trying to process why am so silly about a Chanel bag, I guess. so here goes it...

Contradictions are us

yin and yang. having contradictions does not make you a liar, just makes us human.

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes.”

- Walt Whitman

I have expensive taste, but am inherently cheap....I crave deep connectedness with others, and need solitude. ... I am gentle, but love playing roller derby and am an expert at turning a violent sword on myself.... I believe deeply in the unlimited possibilities of what I can do, but am full of self-doubt. I am fearless and fearful. I am thankful for everything, but still take things for granted. I am intuitive and observant, but miss the obvious too often.....Contradictions are necessary, they give a person depth, layers (like an onion) ...

“Authenticity is not an either/or equation. Your soul is an all-inclusive package … frills, foibles, and contradictions. It’s your opposing parts that leverage your magnificence into full force. Don’t resign yourself to your idiosyncrasies. “Accepting” yourself is a passively lame option for full-tilt self love. Exalt your contradictions, celebrate them, go so far as to use them to your divine advantage.– D Laporte

15 - minutes of mayhem

2011-12-30T10:25:00.001-05:00

Welcome, the lovely, and wise guide of the GBE2 proposed a slightly frightening prompt this week....15 minute free write. (consider that your warning) *note, you can click "wise guide" and see for yourself how very wise the Word Nerd really is*

set timer since I have no concept of passing time...ready, set, go.....

when I saw the challenge, I thought, "NO, I am not posting all the crazy random thoughts that flit through my mind...." then, I remembered, um that is sort of what I do here anyways. Rarely do I start with a real plan, this is my spot for dumping the random and the bizarre. Granted I do "think" and edit a bit more than usual- now. Knowing my readers are actually, um reading....and *gasp* analyzing my words. That is what had me refusing to write....but then I saw all the weird things being posted and figured what the hay. Yep, that's what I said, what the hay.

I actually do the free write thing everyday in my journal, I am part of the whole Artist Way tribe and have been scribbling down my three handwritten pages of nonsense for several years now, just write - adding little lists in the margins, flipping the page over and writing back between the lines so it is basically undecipherable, hardly have to do that anymore though, not only does no one really care what I write, my handwriting is atrocious, I blame the keyboard, but really it is just laziness, I used to write nicely and still can when I concentrate, but scribbling is faster and I am all about fast when it comes to writing, my grandma used to write me letters, just telling me all about the animals she spotted, or to give me updates on her songwriting career and even though her handwriting was hardly more than lines with a few bumps and twists here and there, I could immediately decipher it, same with teaching, I used to teach creative writing to kids of all ages and bad handwriting, even awful spelling hardly fazed me.

It was really not my main focus to correct everything, that was for the poor english teacher, I let a lot of stuff slide in order to pull creative genius from those little minds. miss those classes, that had a horrible ending - turn the page, right now, turn the page, i have run into some of my former students, they are all tall now, that is strange, but other than that, they are the same little sillies I had in class, love that. They taught me how to teach, and really made the whole process of breaking out of my shell much easier, I was so scared the first day, the first month, but little Nina didn't care, she was a mini adult in her wacky outfits, helpful...but honestly she was a great schmoozer. It would have been easy to overlook the fact that she was not actually doing anything in class because she was so darn helpful and pleasant. I noticed though and she wound up producing some decent pieces, enough to appease the powers that be at least. Seeing her all grown up is weird, I am sure she is still schmoozing her way through school and life.

okay now I need coffee...but i won't stop typing yet, i can wait until the timer beeps...about my fancy coffee maker. it's has a gauge on it, like in a car...E to F, pretty nifty. Right now it is close to E, but like the car, I know it still has at least another cup in there...i have only been stranded twice without gas, twice in the same year, but just twice in all my years of driving, not bad. I should have run out of gas on a trip to my sister's college....really, should have.. the little alarm went off and I announced, we have at least 20 minutes left...but the highway was backed up, and then the first exit we came to (20 minutes later) was unreal..

.ALL the electricity in the city was out.

I could not make this up, and since all the power was out, the pumps did not work, nor did the traffic lights so turning around to get back on the backed up highway was tricky...when we finally made it to the next exit, I followed the signs that pointed to the gas station, but they were wrong. Ended up going all the way around a very large mall in order to find the gas station that was right off the exit ramp to the opposite side - speaking of which, I should have probably reported that...

oh well, against all odds, we made it to the gas station and filled up. So, now I am even less likely to pull over when the little E light pops on....I obviously have WAY more than 20 minutes, the car is such a drama queen, fix me, clean me, fill me, geez relax already.

Hmm, I type too fast, how is the time not up yet, I really would like a cup of coffee. What else can I type, okay well, the tree is coming down today, and all the pretties too.

If this was an actual blog post I may have taken the time to make that barely recognizable Wizard of Oz reference work, maybe a picture of the witch or toto...

anyways with the weather being so dang nice throughout December, plus a slightly insane work schedule, (and some personal trials) Christmas was hard to get into- so it seems really strange to see a tree in my living room as it is - time to go. what was I thinking, I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too - okay, well that doesn't really work so it would have been scratched anyways. Aren't you glad you had the opportunity to see a bloggers brain at work, eh.

anywho maybe I can type with two fingers instead, or one...that would cut down on the amount of weirdness being spilled here...

keep typing, only s l o w e r...

the new year is coming and I am not only taking down christmas stuff, but pulling out other stuff too. start fresh, wipe the slate clean TOSS THE SOCK BASKET no kidding, the sock basket has to go, it is always full, always sitting around taunting me, so I am going to just show it who is boss - out ya go crazy maker.....

I have one closet in the house - and not really any idea of what exactly is in there anymore...so it will be emptied today and oh, yeah it is a work day too, lots of assignments that need to be turned in - end of the month and all, that's okay i have my minions to help today, yesterday we had fun, today we work -

still waiting for snow, silly kid got a snow board and all the trimmings and not even the ski place where they make snow, has enough to make it worthwhile, but it is coming, Monday is supposed to be a disaster - a beautiful blizzardy disaster yeah!

or not, my daughter is in Kansas City and is supposed to be driving back Monday - maybe I can convince her to drive on Sunday instead....New Years day, er, I don't know- miss her. whew, timer went off. bye. coffee coffee coffee!

(i came back and added paragraphs- er, just a few breaks to make it readable, that is, if anyone dares!)

it all makes sense in context

2011-12-27T08:50:00.000-05:00

Spending Christmas Day with my family, my mom, dad and two of my sisters puts everything in context. After several odd unintentional jokes, a few bizarre exclamations, and general silliness, I turned to my kids and said, see, I do belong somewhere.... I came from somewhere..... my weirdness has roots.

Belonging. It is a priceless feeling. Better than any gift, ever. We exchanged nice gifts, (love mine by the way), but just sitting and laughing together was all that was necessary.

....over the weekend my kids have compiled a collection of video clips that "describe me" - honestly, they said that this is what they will play at my funeral. ( not as creepy a statement as it may appear, we have attended a godawful amount of funerals over the past few years - they have seen a lot of different styles and, well, it makes sense in context) ..... anyways, six decades from now, : ) the "drop it like it's hot" Sun Drop commercial will begin an odd montage to "explain" me, remember me. weird, yes. - but it's okay.

What is interesting about all that is that they will be inheriting much of the same....

*insert evil laugh here*

...and their kids will too and so on and so on....

there is no escaping your family traits. You can suppress it, ignore it, turn your back on the past....

but it's there and will pop up at the most inopportune times.

That's when you need to just embrace it all, flaws and all.

Okay

It's a wonder that I ever get anything done

2011-12-22T10:07:00.003-05:00

Wonder is the word of the week. Wonder what that means? Well, since I looked up the definition in order to see if anything sparked a blog post here ya go...wonder means to think or speculate curiously.

Alice in Wonderland comes to mind - curiouser and curiouser...

Wonder also means to be filled with admiration, amazement, awe

but wait there is more, wonder can also refer to doubt, as in, I wonder if....*insert negative horrible bad thing that might happen here*

or to be curious about something, "I wonder what is going on across the street?"
or

"I wonder what that deer is thinking?"

okay, maybe you don't wonder about that, but since the deer have practically moved in my neighborhood this year, I do wonder what's up. Mainly though I hope none of the deer are feeling suicidal as I pull down the street. It'll be okay little buddy, you are safe here. There are apple trees and garden leftovers...lots of trees to sleep under...

One more thought on this, I think it is interesting how distinctive deer are, meaning- I have named some of the backyard regulars and kind of know them by their faces....

Here are a couple of card-carrying neighborhood deer....or are they? I wonder who is nibbling my neighbors plants......

Oh Penny, it's you. Figured as much....and who is your shy buddy? Is that a newbie? Okay then, hide if you must. Crazy lady will take the dog on a walk in the other direction.

My daughter is worried about me, she calls me the deer stalker. In my defense, if a giraffe or family of kangaroos moved in wouldn't you stop and gawk? These are fairly large animals just walking around the yard, sleeping under my tree ...

.between them, the wild turkeys and all the new black squirrels, hawks, rabbits, bats and owls, the zoo has practically come to me. oh, and we have coyote and fox too. I was surprised at how tiny and adorable fox really are ~ awe ~ (no photo yet, those cuties are quick)

This influx of wild animals is fairly new....but my fascination (and stalker-like tendencies) are not I guess, I altered one of my photos as my Christmas card last year ....some people use photos of their children...I used Roger....

~*~*~*~*~* GBE2 Wonder~*~*~*~*~*~*

*post went in a different direction than expected, it's a wonder I get anything done!

tuesday fun

2011-12-20T10:36:00.001-05:00

random answers to questions no one asked .... you're welcome, enjoy!

1. What is your favorite online-only store?
Etsy shops, ModCloth and LuLu's...but the only online-only store I consistently order from is Moo cards

2. Do you enjoy wrapping gifts?
Normally, yes, with one present I can be creative - at Christmas time it can be a little overwhelming. By the way, that is what I am doing today after my oldest gets home from work and can whisk his siblings away for a few hours ...yippee

3. What is the temperature in your city today?
35, pretty darn warm for December in Cleveland!

4. What time do you eat dinner?
No set time - schedules are wacky...somewhere between 4 and 8

5. Will you be making New Years Resolutions?
Of course, always....I also make New Week resolutions, New Month resolutions, birthday resolutions....

6. How old is your oldest pair of shoes that you still wear?
I have a pair of 20 year old red converse that are almost unrecognizable, for painting....and a pair of old cowgirl boots...do thrift store finds count? If so, my favorite pair of heels are a good 60 years old - perfect condition though.

7. Do you have any restaurant phone numbers saved in your phone?
no

8. What is your favorite and least favorite letter to write in cursive?
S is my favorite.... Z can stay a Z, like Zoro- no cursive necessary

9. Do you know any good riddles?
What is green with wheels? *

10. How do you feel about snow?
Love it. love love love it!

*grass
...just kidding about the wheels

so yeah, to answer no. 9, no, I do not know any good riddles. : )

~*~*~*~* ten on tuesday from Roots and Rings ~*~*~*~*

I won a Major Award!

2011-12-17T00:47:00.001-05:00

Yahoooo! I won a major award, and no- I will not be expecting a leg lamp in the mail. It's a cash prize baby, cash. Today I found out during quite possibly the most sugar-charged class in the existence of 6th grade art classes, that Yahoo! gave me the Lifestyle contributor award

Here is the link to the lovely write-up - thank you Y!Jelena, so cool. Oh, and the other day, I earned a PV Millionaire badge...for having over a million page views. uh huh, I love my job. (jobs) - even with the holiday party sugared up chicklets...

...what if?

2011-12-16T09:12:00.035-05:00

Curiosity is a form of rebellion that I embrace wholeheartedly. Go ahead, look behind door number 2. Peek around the corner, choose the unbeaten path....

of course there are limits - specifically - kids, do not go looking under my bed - Christmas is coming soon enough....

The GBE2 prompt of the week is Curiosity - I love this quality. In fact, love itself is FULL of curiosity. What makes that person/place/thing tick?, what do they think, feel?, what's it all about?... and as an art teacher, I want my kids to look at the world with curiosity- check out what cool tricks paint can do, make something brand new - never before seen....you cannot do that if you are following step by step instructions like a paint by number, or teacher example.

In the same way, I will not take at face value a certain set of test results. Instead of blindly following doctors orders, I am trying something different - curiously checking to see if there is another way. The wealth of information out there suggests I am not alone in choosing this path - but that doesn't negate the choice, rather it makes it all the more intriguing. If others flipped their health....can I?

-sorry.... here, I will pull back the curtain on the obscurity...

my test results from a week ago, made the nurse gasp. I called for results and she did not hide her shock - *I don't know how to type that air sucking noise a person makes when they are scared, use your imagination, except, *gasp* - oh, that works...forget it.

After asking for my results and making small talk while the nurse looked up my info I heard,
*insert scared air-sucking noise here, aka a loud *gasp* which made me say, "Well, that can't be good." The nurse then apologized for her reaction and went on to share the blood test numbers and gave the doctors recommendations. He's thinking surgery, followed up with the very same medication that is apparently NOT working now. That does not make any sense to me. If it isn't working now, why would I want to base my LIFE on it?

Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will. ~ James Stephens

So, I said, no. Instead, I am taking the next 6 weeks (before my next scheduled blood test) to go all out organic vegan - just to see what will happen. I am curious. According to a pile of books and websites, it will make a difference. so, let's see. This means no regular holiday food - but that doesn't faze me, this is an experiment, a test, I want to challenge the doctor and his blanket textbook answers.

Curious how this will turn out?   Don't worry, I will be posting more.... : )

(((.....I should add, I have been flirting with this lifestyle for quite a while, almost intuitvely sensing I 'should' ...so it isn't really a huge stretch, but I have also not gone all out- and have been under massive stress, which can't help...so, in addition to some other little tweaks, I am playing guinea pig.)))

Once we believe in ourselves,

we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight,

or any experience that reveals the human spirit.

~ e.e. cummings

~*~*~written for GBE2 - Curiosity ~*~*~