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Here’s a little bit `o Solid Gold for your Friday. I <3...

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 09:51:38 -0500

Here’s a little bit `o Solid Gold for your Friday. I <3 that organ. Also, I did not know before that the current has stuff on YouTube.

Video

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 09:43:19 -0500

This now makes me want to see this movie.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 09:04:27 -0500

This now makes me want to see this movie.

I’ve already ordered my $1 font CD from Hong Kong. Get...

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:12:00 -0500

I’ve already ordered my $1 font CD from Hong Kong. Get yours today, and start pissing off your very own fuhrer!

marleymarley: yayaa: OH YEA…..this made me chuckle loudly. Oh...

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 07:11:00 -0500

marleymarley:

yayaa:

OH YEA…..this made me chuckle loudly.

Oh my Jesus I know what I’m doing the next time my mom drags me out shopping with her. This is beautiful.

The first bullet is awesome, but the best part is that they’ve profiled this guy and his wife for six months, and all they do is *threaten* to ban them!

s4xton: bigboxcar: Ladies Tools Set?! (On sale at...

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 07:07:11 -0500

s4xton:

bigboxcar:

Ladies Tools Set?! (On sale at Menards.)

How many of these require batteries?

I have one of these, but haven’t been able to remodel, repair OR redecorate any ladies yet.

Michael Jackson dying might have been his best career move yet.

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 06:41:47 -0500

Michael Jackson dying might have been his best career move yet.

That boat is going to roll over like a Washington politician...

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 10:14:51 -0500

That boat is going to roll over like a Washington politician getting his/her belly rubbed by special interest groups and their fat checks. Then you are so going to die in that upside-down houseboat.

Nice thought though.

{latf}

Basically...

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 18:12:58 -0500

aeropuertos:

blissed:

junglejustine:

lyron:

People die every day - whether it’s from getting shot just for standing up for the rights, from hunger, etc… and no one really cares. But then a celebrity dies, and all of a sudden it’s a huge deal and people can’t stop talking about it. It basically shows what people care more about.

I should just buy an island and move now.

Unfair. I care about just about everyone that dies, from any cause. Some people have more of an impact on your life than others, so you talk about their death more. It’s just the way it is. It’s not about MJ being a celebrity. It’s about him being someone who’s music I grew up with, who’s songs touched me in different ways, etc. You are more likely to discuss the things that that touch you, the people that affect you. Just like every other topic in the world…

Seriously. The man is a legend. It’s obviously going to affect people more than some random stranger’s death.

Actually, not really.

Sex smells.

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:33:40 -0500

Sex smells.

So thirsty. (via aeropuertos)

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:16:02 -0500

So thirsty.

(via aeropuertos)

My tongs bruised my bananas and Apple wouldn’t let me...

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:07:38 -0500

My tongs bruised my bananas and Apple wouldn’t let me return them. The paperweight thingy works pretty well, though.

malty: Love Virginia Sin I could also go for some mint...

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:57:47 -0500

malty:

Love Virginia Sin

I could also go for some mint chocolate chip

It’s ninety-fourcking hot degrees in Twincy right now. I could go for any or all of these. In fact I think I will stop for one on my way home, assuming my truck doesn’t overheat, causing me to bake in the hot, hot sun.

"It is clear that the peaks in Wallace’s writing are an order of magnitude greater than the..."

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:46:27 -0500

“It is clear that the peaks in Wallace’s writing are an order of magnitude greater than the occasional valleys. And based on the first 20 pages of Infinite Jest, [it] looks as though the peaks in this novel will be so plentiful that altitude sickness will pose the biggest threat. Like a climber headed toward his first summit, I am filled with an excitement tinged with apprehension, and a hope that I have enough oxygen for the journey.”

- Matthew Baldwin (not one of those Baldwins), father of Infinite Summer, of Defective Yeti, and sometimes The Morning News and Layer Tennis.

This is gonna be so rad—I mean hard. Rad too, though. I’ve already had to look up about fifteen words. I am not used to reading this way.

malty: ace138: I am joining a bocce ball league for the...

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:55:50 -0500

malty:

ace138:

I am joining a bocce ball league for the summer. Its basically going to look a lot like this.

Except PBRs instead of wine. And no one is allowed to wear khakis or chinos.
And we’re not douches.

I LOVE BOCCE BALL!… and pbr… and douches… o wait.

Sure, but is being a hipster vs. a yuppie really that much better? Isn’t a hipster just a trashier-looking (though no less-expensively) dressed yuppie?

Either way, I think we can all agree that bocce rocks. Who doesn’t like tossing balls around the lawn?

I used to think I was good at procrastinating. This guy just...

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:24:22 -0500

I used to think I was good at procrastinating. This guy just dropped an atomic bomb on that misconception.

PEREZ HILTON GOT BEAT UP BY FUCKING WILL.I.AM. I. KNOW. RIGHT?...

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 10:46:00 -0500

PEREZ HILTON GOT BEAT UP BY FUCKING WILL.I.AM.

I. KNOW. RIGHT?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. sorry, but that dude is a midget. can you imagine a midget beating you up? and isn’t the dude a hologram or something?

She (oh wait, Perez is a dude?) should’ve asked the Twitters for the number for 911, perhaps. Last I checked, 911 operators don’t monitor Twitter for calls for help. And imagine if someone tried to call 911:

911: 911, what’s your emergency?
Caller: Perez Hilton said she was beat up by a rapper on Twitter.
911: What? Is Twitter that thing I saw on Oprah? How does that work?
Caller: Yeah, it’s pretty cool. You know the status thing in FaceBook? It’s like—
911: Nevermind about that. So who did you say was beat up?
Caller: Perez Hilton.
911: You mean the girl from that TV show with Lionel Ritchie’s daughter?
Caller: No, that’s PAIR-is. This is per-EZZ. P-e-r-e-z.
911: Is she related to Paris?
Caller: It’s a he. And I don’t think so. He’s at the SoHo Met.
911: He’s at the what? And who names a boy Perez?
Caller: I’m not sure who his parents are. He’s at the Met in SoHo. He was beat up by Will.I.Am.
911: You’re what? And do you know Will’s last name?
Caller: No, the rapper’s name is “William”, but spelled “Will-dot-I-dot-Am”.
911: Who puts dots in their son’s name like that?
Caller: No idea. I think SoHo is in New York, but there’s one in Tampa, London, Hong Kong, Philadelphia, no I mean Pittsburgh. Oh wait, says here he’s at the MuchMusic awards.
911: The what!?
Caller: Oh, I guess that’s in Toronto.
911: Sir, why are you calling 911 in Lake Havasu, AZ for help in Toronto?
Caller: Because Perez said he needed help on Twitter!
911: Okay, so explain this Twitter thing again?

Oh, and evidently a few people did call.

Now you too can become a certified ASS hat.

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 10:23:32 -0500

Now you too can become a certified ASS hat.

I think a news director in Cleveland maybe wouldn’t pass a...

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 07:23:47 -0500

I think a news director in Cleveland maybe wouldn’t pass a drug test, evidenced by the airing of this story, including a gripping and terrifying re-creation of a black bear run-in.

Keith Loutit rocks.

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 10:47:39 -0500

Keith Loutit rocks.