The nobler sort of man/or woman emphasizes the good qualities in others, and does not accentuate the bad. The inferior does the reverse. - Confucius (551-479 BC) Chinese Philosopher

While I was in Brazil last week I over heard something that said in effect “No person is born noble …but they may become noble by thinking noble thoughts and doing noble things.   (My wife says, “Act the way you want to be and soon you’ll become the way you act.”)  So ACT NOBLE.. BE NOBLE.. BECOME NOBLE..it’s the noble thing to do.

There are far to many people willing to be inferior….let’s be the nobler sort. ~ Kirk

Ok Kirk, you have no idea how much this resonated with me.  I am a mom of 4 ages 17, 10, 2 weeks away from being 4 and 19 months and as if it is not busy enough with 4 goobers then you the “everything else” and because of the “everything else” I feel I live a very distracted life.  I attempt to do everything with meaning and purpose but I often fail because of this distracted life of mine and I KNOW that I SHOULD be doing more because as parents we have A LOT to show and do with our kids.

I was told recently by a long time co-worker who is a LCSW that our 2 older kids are REALLY good kids (he likes the little ones too but obviously can’t gage them like the 2 older ones).  He told me he sees the good and bad everyday and wanted me to know that we are doing something right because he said they are true, genuine, good kids.  I cried…heck I bawled.    Because I often feel like a failure and he KNOWS that…so then I thought WOW, maybe we are doing good and right by them.  BUT then I immediately thought, I wonder if the 2 littles ones are going to be as good.  I think this because in today’s society the priorities are so different then they were even 5 years ago.  I have so many more distractions than I did even 5 years ago.  We depend on technology, social media, etc.  I had a cell phone that I had for 7 years and everyone made fun of me because it was almost as big as a bag phone…it still worked and I didn’t need a data package despite it being a “smartphone” so in January I caved and bought an iPhone.  I feel this was one of my worst mistakes this year…I have lived 37 years without data why do I need it now?  It adds in another distraction and these distractions continue to pile up…thus contributing to a busy life but not always a meaningful one.

So in wrapping up “my ramblings” we started about a month ago making some positive changes to live a less distracted life:  1)  I got rid of facebook…I realize everything is good in moderation however how many “moderations” can we fit in before they all become distractions.  2)  I turn off my cell phone between the hours of 10am and 2 pm so I only focus on my little ones.  3)  I do NOT check my phone with my family in tow.  4)  No tehnology on school nights for the kids.  NONE!  I thought these changes would me resistance however it has been INCREDIBLE!  We have always ate dinner together and have always had the best conversations…in my opinion our nights now are like 1 VERY long dinner conversation.  I hear “momma” so much more but man, is that music to my ears.

I am a mom that wants to enjoy these years and focus on the things that matter the most because I remember like it was yesterday that our 17 year old was our 18 month old.  Here is to a great holiday weekend…~gretchen mckinney

PS.  This is a great post.  It brought tears to my eyes.  http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/05/07/how-to-miss-a-childhood/  ( I WENT AND READ THIS POST and LOVED IT AS WELL…thanks Gretchin ~ Kirk & Rebecca)

“Most of us will miss the real significance of what we might experience from this life, and what we might contribute to this life, not because we are bad people doing bad things, but because we have allowed ourselves to become distracted from doing the most important ones.”

We all know it can be hard work to stay focused on the most important things… but we also know staying focused on those things may be the most important work we will ever do.  ~ Kirk Weisler

—In life, the difficult periods are the best periods to gain experience and shore up determination. As a result, my mental status is much improved because of them.  -The Dalai Lama

Life is a process of meeting and solving problems. Solving problems is a way that we test and develop our spiritual muscle. Think of outstanding people such as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, and Helen Keller. Lincoln faced the problem of a divided country; Gandhi, an oppressed India; Keller, her personal handicaps. In rising to meet their vision, courage, fortitude, and compassion, they became great - not in spite of, but because of their problems.

Problems often come to us in the form of crisis. The Chinese glyph for the word crisis contains two symbols; one means danger and the other opportunity. When an obstacle is before you, use it to create a beneficial result. As with Lincoln, Gandhi, and Keller, let your problems bring out your greatness.

Rather than pray for a life that is problem-free, ask for one that is solution-full. Instead of requesting that God remove the mountain before you, seek the strength to climb it. Remember that the best students always get the toughest problems. Love the problems you have, and their priceless gifts will be yours.  Listening to Your Inner Voice. Copyright 1991, by Douglas Bloch

Memorial Day - A day to remember.  Originally called Decoration Day - is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation’s service.  For those interested in a detailed history of this day (pretty good read) click here. or follow this link http://www.usmemorialday.org/backgrnd.html

Memorial Day - Whether they have served or fallen in national service this day is a day for many to visit the resting places of family members and loved ones.  My dear grandmothers may have never worn a uniform, or enlisted in national service.  however,  one worked in the factories that ran to support our military efforts in World War II and another raised my father, Douglas Weisler who enlisted to become a helicopter pilot.  The young man in the cockpit, is me.  I think one could easily argue that the pictures that follow exist only because of these dear grandmothers and their influence.

Rangers in training… a treasured bit of down time while on a training mission somewhere in Panama.

While serving as US Army Ranger I was able to pin the airborne wings on my older brothers chest.  On that day we jumped out of a “perfectly good aircraft” together which has become a cherished memory.  Greg would go onto become a Ranger qualifed officer in the US Army Intelligence community.  Like so many of our great young men & women in service, Greg has been to the deserts of the middle east and continues to serve as member of our military.

A WEISLER ON THE WALL? On a visit to DC in 1995 - I made a deliberate visit to the Wall Memorial.  Like nearly all who have done so, I felt the reverance and gratitude for all it represents.  On a whim I thought to check the wall to see if there were any who shared my last name.  Our name is still relatively unique and less common and I knew of no stories of relatives who had fought and fallen.  I was surprised to find a “Weisler” on the wall.  I was even more surprised to find myself filled with feelings that came so strongly to my heart and mind.  Who was he?  Who was this man who shared my name…why had he fought, and how had he fallen?  Who misses him, who is honoring him today?  I don’t know the answers to those questions.  Nevertheless, I don’t have to know him, to remember him and to decorate his memory with my thoughts of gratitude for his sacrifice, his willingness to serve, and my current state of freedom.

Thank you for your service…

Kirk Out

===============================================================

Kirk,   Happy Memorial Day to you.   As a genealogist and Google fan, your comments about your visit to The Wall piqued my interest.  I thought I’d share this with you. Just so happens that the Sergeant was from my neck of the woods.   http://thewall-usa.com/info.asp?recid=55128

JAMES ROBERT WEISLER

SGT - E4 - Air Force - Regular
Length of service 2 years
His tour began on Dec 4, 1968
Casualty was on Oct 2, 1969
In , THAILAND
Non-Hostile, died of illness/injury, GROUND CASUALTY
VEHICLE CRASH
Body was recovered
Panel 17W - Line 34

There’s a link on the bottom of the page for Personal Info and Photos.  I learned from there that he had a only brother Elliot and a sister Laurie, and that he had the nickname “weasel”.  Probably not the only Weisler to have had that nickname.  There’s an email address from the comrade in arms who left that greeting, if you really did want to learn more about the man who shared your name.

An even more personal page is found at  http://www.vvmf.org/index.cfm?SectionID=110&Wall_Id_No=29146Â complete with photo.Â

http://www.vvmf.org/index.cfm?SectionID=110&Wall_Id_No=29146 reveals that he was married.

I also saw that he is buried at Ft. Snelling cemetery, which you’ve flown over when ever you fly into MSP.

All for now.  There are at least two of us who are remembering his name today.

Peace,

Tom Aguilar-Downing

A nice quote to support yesterday’s T4D about how “Breakdowns can lead to Breakthroughs” Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight. – Helen Keller (1880-1968) American Writer

I’m Speaking at an event in Sao Paulo Brazil this week and am staying in the heart of a seemingly bustling and busy city. I took a long walk yesterday … wondering, wandering and watching. The thought that kept coming to me was that “having a busy life” doesn’t equate to “having a meaningful life”.  To fill our lives with appointments, tasks and projects is an easy thing to do… to fill our lives with meaning, with learning and with serving others is a needful thing to do.  We need growth and service to keep our batteries charged and our brains exercised and our spirit engaged.  (ramblings from Brazil… too much world, too little time)

Make it a great and meaningful day! You are the best person for this job!

Kirk out

My wife shared this wonderful article with me a couple days ago suggesting that having a breakdown is not only not a bad thing…but may instead be a needful and necessary one.  It was authored by Kimberly Giles..

Breakdowns lead to breakthroughs

Question:

I’ve been going through a lot and I’m afraid  I’m headed for a breakdown. I’ve been trying so hard  to keep it together, but I’m a mess. I’m so worn down, I  cry almost every day. Any advice for me?

Answer:

A breakdown may be just what you need.

A breakdown is defined as the loss of ability to function.  A breakdown is life’s way of saying that what  you’re doing isn’t working and you need to  make some changes. It is a sign that some of the things  you thought were true may not be. A breakdown is your  chance to begin again, question your assummptions, learn  some new things and live your life in a different way/

Sometimes a breakdown is necessary to get your attention.  You may hold onto your bad habits and poor relationship  skills forever, thinking that if you keep doing these  things long enough, they will eventually work. It often  takes a breakdown before you are forced to change your  ways.

This is not a fun place to be, though, and it’s okay to  shed some tears. You may need what behavior  therapists call a “pre-learning temper  tantrum.” So, take a minute and kick and scream with  frustration about being here if you need to. Afterward,  put on your big kid pants and commit to the work of  changing yourself.

Changing you will be the key to changing your life,  and it’s not going to be an easy or painless  process. There will be many more moments of sadness or  discouragement along the way, but understand that some  pain is not necessarily a bad thing.

Pain is just your subconscious mind trying to get your  attention; you wouldn’t be as motivated to change  yourself if it didn’t hurt a little.

It sounds to me like you’re ready for a breakthrough. A  breakthrough is defined as the act, result or place of  surpassing an obstruction, and/or discovering something  new.

Are you ready to learn something new and change yourself?  Here are some ideas to get you started in that process:

1. Make sure you see yourself accurately.

Do you know who you are? Do you know that your value is  infinite and absolute because you are a one-of-a-kind? Do  you know that nothing you do or don’t do changes  your value, because life is a classroom, not a testing  center? Can you trust that you are right on track in your  personal process of growing and learning? Do you realize  you are bulletproof and nothing anyone else says or does  can diminish you?

If not, get some expert help from a counselor or coach who  can help you internalize these truths and improve your  self-esteem. You might also read some self-help books or  talk to other people who have turned breakdowns into  breakthroughs and find out what they learned. Seeing  yourself accurately is an important first step.

2. Make sure you see other people accurately.

If life is a classroom, then the people in your life are  there for a specific reason: to help you become a better  person. In order to teach you things, they are going to  push your buttons, tick you off and let you see your  faults and insecurities. This is what they are supposed to  do - get used to it.

The question is, what are you supposed to learn from  having this person in your life? What is dealing with them  showing you about yourself?

Can you see that the people in your life are scared,  struggling human beings, just like you? Can you see that  their bad behavior is not about you, but about their own  fears about themselves?

Could you choose to see their bad behavior as a request  for love? That is truly what it is. Could you choose to  take the high road and be more loving, not because they  deserve it, but because it’s the type of person you  want to be?

3. Make sure you see your situation accurately.

If life is a classroom, then every situation is a lesson.  If this situation is a lesson, then you are meant to find  the solution. If you keep at it, you will find the answer.

You may need some help, though. Talk to friends, family  members, or a counselor or coach about what’s  happening, and ask them to help you see what you might be  missing. Stay open and don’t be afraid of accepting  your mistakes or learning new things.

There are so many life, relationship and communication  skills out there which you haven’t discovered yet.  There is an infinite supply of knowledge about happy,  successful living. This information could better your life  and take away some of your pain.

I recommend you listen to the universe and seek out some  new life skills.

You can do this.

This feeling of discouragement and hopelessness  won’t last. Just don’t give up.

Thanks Kim… now I’m excited for my next big breakdown!  Well maybe… 

Kirk Out

The original posting of this article can be found at this link http://www.ksl.com/?nid=1000&sid=20354077

A few years ago my wife Rebecca brought home a book titled “Men of Valor” - The Powerful Impact of a Righteous Man.  With no apologies I profess that this is an
overtly Christian based text, and also with no apologies I declare it is my intent, hope and desire to be such a man as this book describes and have as much impact for good in this world as I can.  With that said, all true principles of leadership can easily transfer from one context of life to another.  Indeed they are intended too, because my work life, my religious life, my social life, my private life is only compartmentalized by where it takes place and by who I do it with…each piece is still a piece of one great whole - my life.

From the book  “You cannot lift another soul until you are standing on higher ground than he is.” Millet then adds this commentary - You must be sure, if you would rescue the man, that you yourself are setting the example of what you would have him be.  “You cannot light a fire in another soul unless it is burning in your own soul.”

Corporate context is obvious - As leaders we must not only be on higher ground, but we must also be in the attitude of striving for higher ground.   The higher ground we seek is not for our own aggrandizement or to set ourselves above others- rather it simply the pursuit of a higher standard, like that of excellence, which is never achieved but constantly grows as we do.  Our genuine journey invites others to follow both by example and by invitation…our passion and enthusiasm is the contagious light that can and will transfer into those around us.

I tried to illustrate this principle to my children once in a family “teaching moment” by telling my kids that I wanted to give each of them $100 dollars.  The three oldest of the children then ages 12, 10, and 8 thought this was a great idea and were anxious to receive all that I said I wanted to give.  I then placed in front of them my wallet, previously and purposefully emptied of cash.  They scooped it up quickly opened it excitedly… and then fairly quickly pointed out that it was empty.

Understandably they even went on to share some feelings about being tricked and disappointed.  I assured them it was not my intention to trick or disappoint, and that I really wanted them to each have $100 in cash.  They could tell I was serious about my stated “intention” and went back to wallet….looking inside each little pocket and fold…but still found nothing.  Then I asked, if it was possible for me to give them something I did not have? “No”, they replied.  I then asked, “Is it possible for us to give others something we do not have?” Again the answer was No, and so we began to have a discussion of this principle in the context of their lives.  As they caught hold of the principle the wheels began turning and they had many examples from their own lives of how this worked, and or didn’t work.

 How many times do we see well “intentioned” leaders trying to lead and motivate their people with an empty wallet.  They complain that their people lack vision, or even the capacity for vision, but what is really lacking is their capacity to inspire.  They just want it to happen, but they don’t have it to give.  It takes work to fill a wallet with cash or a cache of knowledge that can then be invested in others, and you must be on higher ground to lift in that direction.

 A good question might be… “What is it that I really hope to give to my people, my family, and my world?”  Then check your wallet to make sure you have in it what you hope to give.  If it empty, or looking a little thin… the answer is easy.  Go to work, on yourself.

 My daughter actually did take one thing out of my wallet.  My credit card.  A truly dangerous weapon because credit can falsely communicates that we have something in our wallet that we may not have at all.

 USA today weekend report stated that “Personal savings in US is at a 73 year low.” Hmmn, parents in a previous generation seemingly gave their children no financial training or discipline, and now I wonder how a nation of empty wallets and bank accounts will give what they don’t have to their own children

Kirk out

Long time T4D subscriber and even longer time friend Tom Cantrell shared this with me yesterday … and I’m still not sure what I think about it…but I can say I have kept thinking about it.   I’m curious …what do you think?  Please leave your comments on the Blog post (rather than e=mail) www.kirkweisler.com/t4d

The Pantheon, pictured above, is a mausoleum in Paris. Built starting in 1758 and completed in 1790, it is the final resting place of Voltaire, Louis Braille, Victor Hugo, Alexandre Dumas, Marie Curie, and others.  The building, modled after the building of the same name in Rome, contains large columns, a dome, and –
of unique relevance to the discussion below — a clock. The clock, a relic from the 1800s, stopped chiming in the 1960s when rust overtook its gears, bringing it to a halt.

All that changed in 2006. That year, after an eight-month restoration project, the clock was fixed. But it was not due to some public works project nor funded by some sort of fabulously wealthy patron of the arts — at least not outwardly. It was done, surreptitiously, by a group of underground art restorers, cultural conservation advocates, and, perhaps, criminals. The group, which is still around, is called Urban eXperiment, or UX for short.

The history behind the UX is murky, but according to Wired, their beginnings stem from a theft from three decades ago. In September of 1981, a middle schooler claimed that he and a friend were able to sneak into the Pantheon and, when other children called their bluff, they felt compelled to prove their bold assertion true — even though it mostly certainly was not. The braggards entered the Pantheon like any other visitor would, but, when it closed, decided to hide instead of leave. The made it through the night without detection — again, per Wired, “they encountered no guards or alarms.”

Fast forward to 2005. Using the same “hide until after closing” their forebears used decades earlier, a group of restorers — a subset of UX called Untergunther –
created a secret workshop in the Pantheon, in a room just below the dome, and set forth to fix the clock. For eight months and at the expense of $10,000 in
member-donated monies (their time, of course, was uncompensated), the group secretly toiled to fix the long-broken clock. They avoided guards without much
effort; the floor they set up shop in was rarely frequented, even by security. They were even able to grow a small vegetable garden on the terrace outside their makeshift workshop.

When they completed the restoration, a new challenge arose. The clock was in working order but needed the Pantheon’s staff to maintain it — which, unfortunately, would require telling the staff that the clock had been fixed. This proved incredibly difficult, and came at a price, as recounted by Wired: They notified the director, Bernard Jeannot, by phone, then offered to elaborate in person.  Four of them came-two men and two women, including Kunstmann and the restoration group’s leader, a woman in her forties who works as a photographer-and were startled when Jeannot refused to believe their story. They were even more shocked when, after they showed him their workshop (”I think I need to sit down,” he murmured), the administration later decided to sue UX, at one point seeking up to a year of jail time and 48,300 euros in damages. Jeannot’s then-deputy, Pascal Monnet, is now the Pantheon’s director, and he has gone so far as to hire a clockmaker to restore the clock to its previous condition by resabotaging it. But the clockmaker refused to do more than disengage a part-the escape wheel, the very part that had been sabotaged the first time. UX slipped in shortly thereafter to take the wheel into its own possession, for safekeeping, in the hope that someday a more enlightened administration will welcome its return.

In the end, some UX members were brought up on criminal charges but, as noted by the Guardian, were acquitted. As for the clock? It is, again, stopped. In the Pantheon, the time is, eternally, 10:51.

Have you ever felt punished for doing a needful thing…and making something work… because you didn’t do it in the right way?  Does the end justify the means?  Were some laws/rules truly mean to be broken?   Should the UX members have really been prosecuted?   Did the UX member really need to confess?  What time is it?  With regard to corporate culture …are there unwritten rules that stop us from fixing needful things…and that keep us stuck and standing still?  Are there times when we attempt to do needful things but do so in ways that don’t break laws or violate policies…but that do seem to violate accepted norms…?

Kirk out

“[They were] so preoccupied with whether or not they could, that they didn’t stop to think if they should.” ~Jurassic Park (the movie)

2 years ago today..

There are plenty of people that will tell you what you are doing is ‘dumb” or ‘impossible’. I wonder how many times we do not attempt greatness because others say it is ‘impossible’ or ‘dumb’? How many times do we allow the weaknesses and limitations of others to hinder our dreams and true potential? The other day this quote hit me hard.

I know this is an add for adidas. However, this message goes so far beyond athletic apparel. When I read it the first time I could not help but think of many of my personal heroes (i.e., Gandhi, Roger Banister, Rosa Parks, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Walt Disney, Abraham Lincoln, Meriwether Lewis, Wilbur and Orville Wright, etc.).

“IMPOSSIBLE IS JUST A BIG WORD THROWN AROUND BY SMALL MEN WHO FIND IT EASIER TO LIVE IN THE WORLD THEY’VE BEEN GIVEN THAN TO EXPLORE THE POWER THEY HAVE TO CHANGE IT. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT A FACT. IT’S AN OPINION. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT A DECLARATION. IT’S A DARE. IMPOSSIBLE IS POTENTIAL IMPOSSIBLE IS TEMPORARY. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!”

What a powerful concept. It helped me recommit myself to doing things others dare not to attempt. It helped me to recommit myself to excellence.

This week let us do the impossible…or at the very least let us be more patient with the “impossible people” in our lives.

from 3 Years ago… PRISONER OR LEADER

The bottom line is this: If there is nothing that would cause you to walk away, then you’re a prisoner not a leader. Prisoners blame their captors for their misery. Leaders look to themselves.  -Joseph Grenny 2009

Sometimes you have to lay down your pen(keyboard) and walk away.

4 years ago… DRY OFF and DO SOMETHING… Be A DOING DONKEY…not a lazy Jack _ _ _

Everyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It’s the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference. - Nolan Bushnell

I have sent the following Donkey story before. But since it has been a while and since there are certain people in our lives that seem to be constantly willing to throw dirt and hurt on us… here it is again.

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well.  The animal cried pitifully for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.  Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

The farmer invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.  They all grabbed a shovel and began to toss the dirt into the well.  At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.  Then, to everyone’s amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.

He was astonished at what he saw.  With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.  He would shake it off and then take a step up.  As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.  Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shoveled dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.  The trick to getting out of the “well” is to shake it off and take a “step up.”  Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.  We can get out of the deepest of “wells” just by not stopping, never giving up!  Shake it off and take a step up.

I’ve actually been sending out the T4D for nearly 18 years now… it began with an idea to create something to help our staff check their e-mail more regularly so they wouldn’t miss occasion urgent e-mails when they came. (this was back in the day when people didn’t live out of thier inboxes like many do today.)  If someone would have suggested then that I would continue writing T4D’s for the next 18 years… I would have laughed and said …that’s impossible or at least highly improbable.  I would have never guessed then that it would grow from a e-mail distribution list to 30 people, evolve, become something called a blog read by thousands (there were no blogs then)….and become a tool that leaders would use as resource for personal and organizational motivation.  Like so many aspects of our lives as leaders… we never really imagine nor can we fully consider the potential impact of some of the decicions we make, the traditions we establish and cultures we seek to create as work to improve the world of work.

If you have given up on any worthwhile thing that feel really can and should be done… even if it seems impossible….perhaps you need to shake off any discouragement, set aside the disbelief… and step up and bring your idea from the dark depths of the well….and into the light of day… the world needs what you have to offer….especially if what offer can help, can increase hope, or can improve individual or organizational health.

Kirk out

The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress. – Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French Philosopher

Unlike the graphic above … I don’t think we should wait until there is an emergency to start exploring the truth.  This brings to mind all that Jim Collins learned about how companies that made the leap from “Good to Great” have developed the ability to confront the “Brutally Honest Facts”.   He said of these companies that essentially they weren’t afraid to discuss or even argue about the hard things…but the aim wasn’t blame… the aim was progress… the aim was to discover the truth.  The truth about the problem, the truth about the solution and the truth about what was needed to achieve it.

Some short wonderful audio clips of Jim Collins discussing this principle are available for FREE… click here!  ( I recommend starting with the Stockdale Paradox, then Autopsies without Blame.)  http://www.jimcollins.com/media_topics/brutal-facts.html#audio=59

Kirk Out