alex's blog

Airplane babies

2012-04-02T20:42:00.000-07:00

Boarding an airplane introduces the risk of flying with at least one loud crying baby throughout the duration of the flight. This is the case as I author this post. While no ethical way exists to rid the noises angry airplane babies make, perhaps there are some alternatives.

Parents are used to it.. In fact, judging by my companion’s lack of action to resolve the issue (yes a consecutive hour of crying is now a shared issue), there is no incentive for him to make it stop - his strategy is "welcome to my world, deal with it".. below is a heat-map of noise to annoyance levels.

Maybe an "infraction" issued to the parent(s) so they can't book a flight without paying whatever the annoyance fee were. Well, I guess that's harsh - how about unlimited drink vouchers for the Orange band..I'll settle for a stiff bloody mary right about now.

your mailbox is unavailable.

2011-12-16T12:26:00.001-07:00

your mailbox is unavailable.

and nobody can help you.

redesigning customer service

2011-11-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

Here's an idea: don't allow customer service reps to hang up - if they DO hang up, link the call to a survey to let me rate the rep or escalate to a manager etc.. a good rep will get kudos, a bad rep won't last long at the job!

I mean is this really that difficult to set up? am I the only one that ever put some thought to the customer service call workflow!? you're welcome, humanity. you're welcome.

Google, please stop..

2011-09-21T16:54:00.001-07:00

Today Google puts out a HUGE arrow that points to their awesomely failed Google+ efforts.. Talk about desperate means to make their social circle technology succeed; Let's put a HUGE ANIMATED ARROW TO POINT THEM WHERE TO CLICK! - brilliant idea, Google.

You might as well have finished the job and put the text you really meant to put up along with the arrow, ie:

My BitLocker Relationship

2011-08-08T09:22:00.004-07:00

BitLocker started as a wonderful hard drive encryption technology to keep my files safe and protected.. it was a good thing at first..

but soon I started getting random nagging messages and errors on my computer about BitLocker.. so I called the helpdesk. They adviced I decrypt the drive, apply an update, and re-encrypt the drive again.

Naively, I start decrypting the drive only to watch the system come to a complete meltdown at around 30% ... unresponsive, followed by the monitor shutting down, and eventually leaving the laptop fan at full blast blowing hot air.

4 hours go by without any indication that the system was doing anything productive.

expecting the worst, I reboot..

well.. that was expected. I just lost everything in the disk..
I opt to cut my losses and try to reformat the drive.

...ok, so the BIOS doesn't even recognize that there's even a disk in the machine! the drive pretty much imploded taking everything along with it..

The analogy here is that BitLocker made me feel used and scathed.. It started off wonderfully and full of hopes and promise. then came an increasing nagging that left me to find a solution. and.. this solution, analogous to a nasty divorce, left me with nothing.

BitLocker, you took everything from me. I hope you're satisfied.

what's that burning smell?

2011-07-03T09:32:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a better story to this one; I wasn't even intoxicated to justify it.. I tripped over the iron cord, and by the time I realized I knocked it over the carpet was nice and toasty. charred and melted real nice..

so what now? thankfully, my pack-rat instincts helped me on this one. I kept some leftover carpet in the attic from when I bought the house and figured I could fix it.. I cut up the burnt mark and replaced it with new carpet. sealed it with 'carpet tape' aka: duct tape, and good as new..

out with the old

in with the new

... the end result, while not 100% perfect is close enough and will blend in more with time.

the dollar refund...

2011-04-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

Filing my taxes across different states I worked in and I owe everywhere..
except for Ohio. I am getting a dollar refund... SCORE!

Why can't my favorite color be red?

2010-10-28T10:43:00.002-07:00

I was filling out some security questions when suddenly..

I suppose they didn't think this one through..
or I'm the only one who likes red.

Chocolate Covered Rock (from a factory worker's boot)

2010-03-29T07:54:00.008-07:00

I recently bought some chocolate espresso beans from World Market. I never shop there, it was somewhat a coincidence that I happen to be there. With time to kill I decided to enter and shop.. While enjoying these fine confections I find that one espresso bean isn't quite crunchy as it is well, plain solid.. as the blog post title suggests, it was a ROCK.. a chocolate covered rock somehow got in there.

Shortly after this incident I had to know "how" this happened.. I played out a few scenarios in my head, and refined it down to the following illustrated and summarized steps that may have lead to the chocolate covered rock I found that fateful day.

Figure 1: Factory worker would start the day as usual.

Figure 2: The infamous pebble from the parking lot

manages to get stuck on the factory worker's boot.

Figure 3: Passing through a metal walkway
the factory worker's shoe releases the
pebble into a batch of espresso beans.

Figure 4: The beans (along with the pebble) are processed and
placed into the completed product bucket, where its clever disguise
can pass quality assurance and make its way into packaging.

So what are the odds that a random shopper goes to the store that ended up with the chocolate covered rock and actually purchases the package from the several hundred packages in the store?... I should feel lucky.

Conclusion: Don't buy chocolate covered anything from World Market (without expecting factory worker debris) There you have it. Another day, another mystery solved.

computer might shut down suddenly

2009-11-19T08:28:00.002-07:00

SWEET!!

How being the company 'go-to' guy works

2009-11-05T13:10:00.009-07:00

A comprehensive flow chart by yours truly, outlining the mechanics of being the company's indispensable resource for any and all issues.. enjoy.

a note on business cards

2009-09-19T15:00:00.005-07:00

I travel often for work.. and with travel comes business cards..

I don't know why it is that people I meet on a plane or at project sites feel obligated to give me their business cards with their fancy titles and decorative company names..

being a consultant I'll be the first to admit, that I do carry my own fancy business card when I go on different projects.. but I use it sparingly, as needed..

At any rate, I accumulate a lot of business cards from random people I likely have no desire to contact in the future..
so.. what to do with these cards?

I developed a nasty habit of keeping these business cards with me, and using them as my own identity when I meet others. or submitting them at those drawings they often have at restaurants.... makes traveling more interesting.

New iPhone Apps: Must Get

2009-08-30T10:54:00.004-07:00

Probably the best set of features iPhone apps I ever heard of... enjoy!

No, you should not be a writer.

2009-08-26T05:52:00.008-07:00

I receive the most 'interesting' emails sometimes.. I figured I'd share one of them here.

Sunday Breakfast Special Sauce

2009-08-09T13:34:00.005-07:00

Yeah never thought I'd post a recipe.. but today I ended up making a sauce to go along english muffins I made with eggs cheese and bacon..

1 Tablespoon whipped cream cheese
2 Tablespoons sour cream
1 Teaspoon mustard
1 1/2 Teaspoon ranch dressing
1 1/2 Teaspoon balsamic vinegar
2 Teaspoons BBQ sauce
2 Teaspoons Louisiana Hot Sauce

I was just improvising so I'm surprised it came out as good as it did, so I figured I'd post my recipe for later.. if you try this let me know how it comes out.

How old people process emails...

2009-07-16T20:52:00.003-07:00

This post tries to explain how old people process emails received (definition of 'old' to be judged by reader).

I hope my diagram helps some of you understand why some of the world's oldest most unfunny clipart and animated gifs are still being transmitted to this day.

Bridezilla: incredible women on camera

2009-06-07T11:14:00.006-07:00

I watched this show for the first time, and what I saw was incredible.. my favorite quote from Brandi here is "can you bring me some chicken?" while getting a manicure...

Paper Towels - the latest craze

2009-05-22T16:43:00.003-07:00

Take that sham-pow guy! paper towels are awesome!

How to turn off the backup camera beep on a Prius.

2009-04-23T14:05:00.005-07:00

I looked this up a while ago and managed to disable the annoying beep that comes on when the rear-view camera is active and the prius is in reverse.. but recently my battery died and reset all my settings.. looking it up was a pain, so I wanted to post how to do it:

1. While stepping on the brake pedal, press the start button to turn the car on.
2. Press the trip/odometer button until "ODO" appears on the dashboard (if it's already in that mode when you start the car, press the button three times to cycle through the "Trip" modes until you're back to "ODO" mode).
3. Press the power button to turn the car off.
4. While stepping on the brake pedal, press the start button to restart the car.
5. Press and hold the trip/odometer button within five seconds of starting the car and keep pressing it for at least 15 seconds, and keep it pressed down.
6. While still holding the trip/odometer button from the step before, but after 15 seconds have elapsed, shift the car into reverse and quickly press the park button. Now release the button.
7. Note that the trip/odometer display will show "b on" instead of miles.
8. Press the trip/odometer button until the display shows "b off."
9. Press the Power button to turn the car off.
10. When you start the Prius back up, the reverse beep will be gone.
11. (Optional) Serve yourself a healthy pour of your favorite scotch whiskey, you've earned it.

... Now to take it a step further, try to get your camera to be visible at ANY time, not just when you're backing up! Linky: http://www.evnut.com/prius_mfd_video.htm

Diabetes: iPhone's not so cool gadgetry

2009-03-19T19:24:00.003-07:00

as big a nerd I am I had to see the press conference on the new iPhone 3.0 software features announced ... there are a lot of cool features - but one company really stood out:

LifeScan presented a piece on a diabetes application - and I just couldnt believe the horrible presenter they chose to give the talk and demo.. I'm not opposed to the idea (though I think there are more practical options) - I just couldn't believe the words I was hearing coming out of the presenter's mouth:

"... the meter can now transmit the reading to her cool iphone [...] her iphone is the envy of all her friends, and now she has her reading right on her iphone."

Awesome. ... did anybody review this material before she went up to speak?

Cheers to You!

2009-01-24T14:09:00.004-07:00

i am unstoppable! without me the puzzle is incomplete!

I thought this was fake when I first saw it.. it is not. there's some sample mp3's I coulndt resist putting on here. ridiculous!

and my favorite ... i feel awesome already.

spooky devil mail..

2009-01-20T05:04:00.000-07:00

I dont know.. this was a bit spooky.. my outlook client freezes - I restart it and notice the number of unread emails at 666.

ooOoooooh. - i know i know, i'm going to bed now.

if anyone needs me, I'll be in the Bone room.

2009-01-15T02:29:00.000-07:00

so I started on a new project this week.. as a consultant I typically work out of conference rooms, and one in particular stood out in the building I was in..

it's been a simple yet delightful pleasure (and still is) to say things like:

"hey [name] let's have a talk in the bone room"

"hey fellas, if anybody needs me, I'll be in the bone room, mkay?"

"Hey sorry I wont be able to make it, I gotta wrap up some business with [name of uncomfortable coworker] in the bone room"

Seriously? ...can MS Word be this retarded?

2008-12-28T14:36:00.014-07:00

I went on to format and print an online receipt out of my inbox and decided Word would be a good program to use for this.
I copy and paste my receipt into word and ... lo and behold I get smacked in the face with "retard grammar" ... apparently the world's most popular (and expensive) word editor thinks "your order" should be corrected to "you're order"

This is NOT a fake - try it at home!

um... I guess it's better than the "we is" correction I saw a couple years back.. anyway, to each they're own
(yes pun intended...)

SharePoint Designer WILL NOT DIE

2008-12-17T00:14:00.007-07:00

Unable to quit? We apologize for the inconvenience? Times like these frustrate me as much as they humor me. Midnight approaches and one of the tools that my job depends on messes up.. Apology not accepted..

alex's blog

Airplane babies

your mailbox is unavailable.

redesigning customer service

Google, please stop..

My BitLocker Relationship

what's that burning smell?

the dollar refund...

﻿Why can't my favorite color be red?

Chocolate Covered Rock (from a factory worker's boot)

computer might shut down suddenly

How being the company 'go-to' guy works

a note on business cards

New iPhone Apps: Must Get

No, you should not be a writer.

Sunday Breakfast Special Sauce

How old people process emails...

Bridezilla: incredible women on camera

Paper Towels - the latest craze

How to turn off the backup camera beep on a Prius.

Diabetes: iPhone's not so cool gadgetry

Cheers to You!

spooky devil mail..

if anyone needs me, I'll be in the Bone room.

Seriously? ...can MS Word be this retarded?

SharePoint Designer WILL NOT DIE

Why can't my favorite color be red?