Talented Generation

The Secret Life of Petty: 15 Things Only Petty People Will Understand

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Sun, 10 Jul 2016 01:43:00 +0000

Being petty is fun when you know how to do it right. For the vets (like myself) the petty actions are hardly ever done with malicious intent, but sometimes you have to be petty to put people back in their place.

Take it from someone with Petty in her DNA: Don't ever mess with a petty b*tch. We set aside time in our day just to be petty. We usually spend that time being petty with our friends, but if you choose to challenge us we rarely turn down an opportunity to shut you up. Here are some of our favorite ways to put the petty on front street:

15. When You & Your Bestie Get Petty Together:

14. When Someone Throws Shade After You Decided to Stop Being Petty:

13. When You Realize You Have The Perfect Opportunity to Be Petty (& you're about to take advantage):

12. When you See A Subliminal Post About You & You Like it Anyway:

11. "Oh. We're being petty AGAIN today?"

10. When You Speak to Someone You KNOW Doesn't Like You:

9. When You're Petty and Pretty:

8. When you didn't start it, but you're still prepared:

7. That ONE Time When You REALLY WEREN'T BEING PETTY and No One Believed You:

6. It's "You're petty" not "YOUR petty" boo boo:

5. When You Go To Follow (or stalk) Someone and Realize You're Blocked:

4. Reminding Folks You Were Trying to Mind Your Own Business:

3. When Someone Who Never Shows Up Comments "Dang No Invite":

2. When You Were Trying Not To Be Petty, But Someone Mentions Your Name:

1. When You And Your Friends Are ALL Petty So It's A Term of Endearment:

Don't be petty tell me whatcha think then share this post.

Peace.

8 Ways to Celebrate Mother's Day That Do NOT Involve Buying Gifts (Crazy concept, I know!)

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Sun, 08 May 2016 02:46:00 +0000

You've gotten the flowers and the chocolate. You've reminisced on all the hell you caused her. You're older now and Mother's Day means more than a handmade card and some chocolate. Mother's Day is a day you get to reflect on the life your mom gave you. Regardless of what you life was like once she gave birth Mother's Day is a day to honor the fact that your mom chose life for you.

I know this week has been difficult for some struggling with the loss of their mom and also those coping with infant loss. There is no one who can take your mom's place or your unborn child's place. I hope you remember God and the universe are restorative. Although you may not have your mom or your child in the physical sense I can guarantee that you have someone in your life that you can love on and that can love you. Try not to focus on the loved ones you have lost. Try to focus on those people who are still alive and stand ready to pour love and light into you.

It is the night before Mother's Day and I know some of y'all are just now shopping for your Mother's Day gifts. Here are 8 ways all of us can celebrate Mother's Day.

8. Take Care of Yourself. The Best way to to take care of the people you love (including your mom) is to take care of yourself. Take care of your own finances first. Take care of your own mental health first. Take care of your own home first. Address any issues you may have and learn to love yourself just as you are.

7. Stop asking women without a child when they will have a child. It's none of your business. CAN YOU NOT encourage people to have babies who aren't ready to have babies? THANKS.

6. Stop asking women with a child when they will have another child. Are you gonna help pay for the extra kid? People take for granted the emotional and physical price a woman pays to give birth to a child. If she wants to procreate again it's her choice. You will know she's ready when you know. If she's anything like me you'll know a month after the baby is born.

5. Stop staring at kids who throw tantrums in public. You were once a kid. Chances are you threw at least one tanrum. Chances are your mom felt helpless and hopeless in the heat of the tantrum. The child you're staring at is your younger self. That means the mom you're staring at is your own mom.

4. Forgive Your Mom. I know there are some people who do not consider their moms their best friend. I am one of those people. It used to be so hard on me because my friends all consider their moms a best friend. My mom is not a bad mom we just are not close. I know she will be there for me if I need her, but our relationship is not quite a friendship per se. My point is moms are people too. We are not superheroes. We make mistakes. We forget things. We get tired. We all do the best we can with what we have. Forgive your biological mom if she has ever fallen short in your life. Forgive your motherly figures, too.

3. Celebrate your "bonus" moms. You didn't get where you are without the help, prayers and sacrifice of other people. That "auntie" at work who shares her lunch. That "grandma" at church who loves on you when you need it the most and always has mints. That "sista" who looks out for you when you are too ashamed to ask for help. Celebrate all of the people who have stood in the gap for you to propel you forward.

2. Stop Judging Other Moms. Whether she allows her kid to have Cheetos, Cheerios, or Goldfish crackers every mom doing her best deserves some slack. If you are a mom please support other moms. Acknowledge the challenges. Support her. Tell her she's a good mom. Tell her she's doing a good. Tell her good things.

1. Don't Isolate Your "mom friends." I get it. Moms are busy. We have a lot on our plate. Sometimes we have to cancel plans last minute because the kid gets sick. Don't isolate us. We are still around. We still like to go out. We still want to see you. We still want to talk to you. Yes we are adjusting, but we don't want to lose you as a friend. Work with her schedule to allow time to continue your bond. Trust me your mom friend needs to see adults!

'Tis all. How are you celebrating Mother's Day this year? Are you the perfect offspring and you celebrate mom's day everyday?

Dear Miss "Too Much": An Open Letter to All Women Seeking REAL Love

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Thu, 07 Apr 2016 16:57:00 +0000

Dear Miss "Too Much,"

Girl guess what?

You got "too much" attitude.
You got "too much" hair.
You got "too much" sass.
You got "too much" going on.

How many times have you heard those words? How many times did you internalize them and receive them as truth? Someone said the words and now you believe them. You think you've got too much hair, too much sass, too much class, too many rules, too much ass (ok there's no such thing as too much ass lol), and too much of all the things that make it hard for a lover to love you.

You've got too many rules.
You've got too many things you won't settle for.
You've got standards no one will ever meet.
You've got walls bigger than the ones #thatguy wants to build.
You've got skin darker than midnight.
You've got a painful past and baggage you need to unpack.

I'm not sure when it happened or who planted the seed, but someone told you were too much to handle and it has blossomed into an orchard of doubt. They tell you your "too much" is why it didn't work. If you had just been "less than" things would be different. If you had just had less attitude it would have worked. If you had been more submissive. If you had been less sassy. If you had been more agreeable. If you had lower standards. If you had a different set of standards. If you were just a little bit less of yourself you would be more deserving of their love.

They said you have too much to say. You should be quieter. They told you you have too much hair. You should press it out. They told you your smile needs to be fixed. You should not be proud of your crooked smile. They told you your thighs needed to be thicker. You should gain weight. They told you your thighs are too thick. You need to lose weight. They told you because of your ambitions you don't have enough free time. You should be happy where you are. They challenged you to change yourself. They encouraged you to alter and shrink yourself. Make your laugh more of a giggle and less of a cackle. Don't curse so much. Don't demand so much. Don't succeed so much. Be more humble.

Things would be different. Right?

It's time to unearth all the seeds planted by people who have made you feel like you couldn't allow your light to fill every crevice of yourself. Rise up. Stand up within yourself. Accept that you allowed someone to make you feel like you're no good and make a conscious effort not to allow it to happen again. Decide you will not allow anyone else to make you feel small. Decide you will not allow anyone else to make you feel "less than."
You are capable.
You are strong.
You are worthy.
You are enough.
You can do it.

I challenge you to enter into a loving relationship with yourself.
Take time out to fall in love with yourself.
Fall in love with all the parts of yourself people have told you make you hard to love.
Fall in love with all the things that are not perfect about you.
Fall in love with your thick ass afro and your thinning edges.
Fall in love with your wide hips and your itty bitty titties.
Fall in love with your freckles or your acne spots and your caterpillar ass eyebrows.
Fall in love with every mole, every blemish and every unruly strand of hair.
Fall in love with your skinny fingers and that slight 'stache you grow once a week.
Fall in love with the stretch marks.

Love yourself right where you are at this exact moment.

Love yourself at the exact weight you are. Love yourself and the car you drive or don't drive. Love yourself for the house/apt/condo/basement/bedroom in your mom's house you live in. Love yourself at the exact mental state you're in. Love yourself for all the help you need. Love yourself for all the help you ask for. Love yourself at your current level of "can" and "can't."

Forgive yourself. Forgive those who have hurt you. Deal with the things you worry about and the negative things you feel about yourself. You can embrace who you are and what you are and what you have at this exact moment. Step into self love. You are worthy of unconditional love.

Let me tell you something about real love:

People who love you will love you for EXACTLY who you are. They will love you for your gap tooth. They will love your bow legs. They will love your for your double digit "body count." They will love your kinky hair. They will love your skinny arms. They will love your hairy back. They will love your FUPA. They will love your ugly feet. They will love your long arms and lanky figure. They will love the way your belly has rolls when you sit down (and stand up). People who are determined to love you will always find a way. Anyone who makes you feel like you have to change BEFORE they can love you is not someone who deserves your love. Those people don't know how to love.

Let your light SHINE, darling. Develop the courage to stop seeking approval from others. Realize REAL love starts with self-love. You don't have to feel like a victim any longer. I hereby release you from every feeling of unworthiness and every desire to be anyone other than your whole self.

With love,

Miss "Too Much"
XoXo

Somebody Has to Do It: In Defense of Tax Refund Stunters

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 16 Feb 2016 14:25:00 +0000

Stunt (v.): To floss or show off one's possessions.

Tax Refund Stunter (n.): One who receives a HEFTY tax refund and spends it frivolously within a few months. See also, tax rich.

I was once in line at a Walmart Customer Service Center behind a woman who was cashing a $9000 tax refund check. Initially I wondered why she didn't just get direct deposit, but I try to mind my business. She was loudly talking about how she was gonna spend it. None of the things sounded responsible to me. I used my app to check my checking account balance and I didn't have access to that much money. I was also jealous because I had to pay income taxes that year. Before that experience I had no idea people got so much money back as part of their tax refund.

Every year around the time tax refunds are issued we see an influx of people shopping, taking trips, and getting their lives together. Some people use the money to catch up on bills or save for big purchases like a home, but others use the money to stunt. The "others" get new cars, put rims on the cars they already have and buy their kids ridiculously expensive gifts. The "others" are the Tax Refund Stunters. No need to play the "guess that race" game. We know the people who are the poster children of Income Tax Balling. These people are criticized, hated upon and looked down on because they get a lil "extra" money and seemingly lose their minds.

Stunters gone stunt.

As a daughter of a single mother who raised 5 kids mostly on her own and still found the resources to take in and take care of extra kids I sympathize with them. I know how hard it can get. Being poor ain't no fun. Still, each year I see my circles divided into 2 groups: (1) Tax Refund Stunters and (2) Those who don't understand them. I realize the popular thing to do is to rank on a TRS, but I am still choosing to defend them.

Why?

WHY THE F*CK DO YOU CARE? Everyone goes in on a Tax Return Stunter because they're an easy target. They're easy to spot. They're frontin. They're flashin for Instagram tryna impress people who wouldn't spit on 'em if they were on fire. We wonder why they don't put the money away for their child's college fund or some responsible sh*t the rest of us claim we'd do with the money. Why do you care how someone else spends their money?

Admit You're Jealous. Oh I bet you'll stop reading now. Jealous of what? Jealous of who? You get money year round! You make too much money to get a refund! On some level the criticisms come from a place of envy. It's not deep. It's mostly Person A wishing he/she could blow through an "extra" $9k and blow it like Person B. Person A would be responsible and starting thinking about his/her student loans, or mortgage or the tread wearing on his/her tires. You WISH you could be irresponsible with your money just ONCE. On some level Person A is jealous that Person B is not concerned about building savings accounts, or mortgages or paying taxes. Adulting so hard.

Mind Your Own Money. Worry about your own bills. Worry about your own pockets. Worry about your own money. If you were focused on your own money you wouldn't even have time to think about how other people are spending theirs.

Tax Return Stunters Spread The Wealth. Ok maybe wealth isn't the right word, but have you ever been around a TRS when they first get their money? They're wiping their asses with $100 bills. Need to borrow some money? They can let you hold something til you get paid. They won't press you as long as you pay it back by Labor Day. Want some new shoes? They'll buy you 2 pair. Whether it's paying up their mom's rent or helping their sister cover unexpected car repairs TRS' typically take care of the people who took care of them throughout the year.

Stop Acting Like You Don't Know Poor People. If you're reading this chances are you probably know someone who has been evicted. You probably know someone with bad credit. You probably know someone who can only make ends meet with help from their parents. You probably know someone who can only buy groceries when they get their food stamps. You probably know someone who gets $20/month for child support. Don't act like you are just so disconnected from what it's like to be poor that you can't understand how poor people act.

In reality I don't see it as stunting. Many of the Tax Refund Stunters have struggled all year. Have you seen the numbers one needs to meet in order to qualify for a tax refund? Who can really live comfortably off of those numbers? & with offspring? Have you ever been so broke someone offered you one hell of a deal and you still couldn't afford it? Well many of the people deemed Tax Refund Stunters were so broke throughout the year they had to focus on meeting their needs. In some way knowing they would get "extra" money in late January helped them keep holding on. Now they get the chance to go on trips, and they can buy the shoes and purses they couldn't afford even with the Black Friday and Christmas sales. It may seem like stunting to you, but they are buying the things others don't think twice about. What is a $300 bag when you make $85,000 a year and don't have any children? It's nothing. What is a $300 bag when you make $21,000 with 4 kids? That's a game changer.

Managing money is hard. It is a skill they don't teach us in school. I had to pass Algebra II to get my high school diploma, but I haven't used not nary algebra equation. I've never been anywhere and had to use the Pythagorean Theorem to solve a a real life problem. You gotta let people live and learn. You gotta love people where they are. If you know an tax refund stunter try to see them in a different light. They're doing the best they can with where they are and what they have. It's easy to group "them" and talk about what "they" do as if we know so much better. Truth is we are all trying to figure it out and we need to be more kind to others who are doing the same. Teach the babies.

Do y'all have any Tax Refund Stunter stories? Are you one of them? Chime in if you wanna.

Peace.

How to Date a Single Mom: 7 Things Every Person Should Know

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Sat, 13 Feb 2016 23:36:00 +0000

I realize there is now a movement to be more specific about the terms used to describe single motherhood. I am told the term "single mom" is reserved for women "doing it alone" and so I do not "qualify." Somehow the fact that 7 days out of 7 I put my kid to bed and keep her alive but still receive "help" from her dad 1100 miles away (no shade) means I'm a single woman with a child, but not a single mom. Who has time to say all that? That's too much work. Bish let me call myself a single mom if that's what I wanna call myself. Nobody says anything when you call yourself Tae TooTattedSoBlessed Brown. Can I live?

Anyway. . .

It's been a while since I last blogged. Ya'll missed me? Ya'll see my new short hair? I glow'd up like a mug!

I missed y'all. So I'm gonna try to write more often, but I'm not exactly sure HOW often. I've got A LOT going on. Mostly, I'm launching an online emporium of sorts. A chick has taught herself to sew and I have gotten hella crafty. Yesssss!!! I have sewn dresses for Baby Love (who is almost 2 now! What is THAT?!) and skirts for myself. I'll be making many custom gifts from clothing to purses, to makeup bags, jewelry, blankets, baby bibs and so much more. The dates of the launch have changed so many times I'm just gonna announce the launch when it's already happened. In the mean time (shameless plug) I have an Etsy shop called By KeeKs With Love. The url is www.bykeekswithlove.comCheck it out! Buy something! I'm gonna keep that name, but when I'm ready I'm going to switch to a different platform and brand it in a different way. I'm going to incorporate this blog into it somehow some way. You'll see when it's finished.

**Obligatory Single Mom Post**

Full Disclosure: I'm on a dating fast. That means while I have a few male friends I am not allowing myself to get romantically involved with anyone. Not sure how long it will last, but it will probably be for the entire 2016. That means no dates, no chex, no nothing. It's not my first ride at the dating fast rodeo, but I'm entering this round with a different approach. It's been interesting so far. Some men understand and some think unsolicited dick pics will change my mind. When I roll over and see dick pics on my screen at 5am I feel like Kevin Hart "IT'S A DICK ON THE PHONE!"

Moving on.

In light of the impending LOVE holiday I chose to write about my favorite subject: LOVE. I know dating for some is a travesty. Hell I get frustrated and send a "You're great, but we can't be friends anymore" text at least once a week. Still, I know some people shy away from dating single moms because of fears and misconceptions. Then again, some people just hate women so there's that.

If you have a single mom on your radar here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Figure out what you both want FIRST.

Don't think every single mom wants to marry you. All of us aren't looking for daddies for our kid(s). All of us don't need a savior. You only want sex? Some of us just want sex too. Not ready for a relationship? Some of us don't have time for a relationship. Some of us don't want the trouble. Be honest and up front about where you are in your journey. Cut the "nice guy" bull and get to the meat of it. Pun! She doesn't have time to play games & you shouldn't be trying to play games anyway.

2. Understand you will not come first.

You might not come second or third either. Let me say that again: YOU WILL NOT BE A PRIORITY (at first). If she's anything like me there's:
A. God
B. Her
C. Her kid
D. Her Family & Friends
That would mean you would come 5th. I haven't had this issue with other parents, but for non-parents here's the thing: You have to be a grown up and accept that it is up to you to show her you want to be there. If you want to be around for the long run you're going to have to be a mature adult and put in work to get on the all-star team. You don't get to become one of her priorities after 2 or 3 dates. Her time is limited and precious and she doesn't have a lot of it to go around.

3. Be Realistic.

You cannot ask a single mom at 4:30pm to meet you for drinks at 6pm the same night. She has to make sure she has a sitter and that her kid(s) will be set for bed and ready for the next day. Last minute plans are not the move. Plan ahead or be prepared to be told "no" often.

4. Learn about her relationship with her "baby daddy."

This can be a touchy subject for some, but it is still an important one. Whether she's been broken up with her co-parent for a few months or a few years it is necessary for you to understand where her and her "baby daddy" stand. You don't have to ask about the details of their breakup right away, but you should know the basics to start:
Are they divorced/separated?
Is he an active dad?
Does he live close by?
Does he come to her home for visits?
Do they ever sleep over with each other?
Do they do things together with the child?
What are her feelings about him?
What is their custody arrangement?
What is the state of their relationship?
Are they one "I want my family back" text away from getting back together?

As I said, this is a touchy subject so I encourage you to proceed with caution. Don't become obsessed with discussing him. Try to touch on the major things initially and delve deeper as things get more serious. If she is truly ready to date she should be open to discussing this subject with you and she will understand your concern. Be direct with her if you need clarity.

5. Be Involved.

I don't like this term, but a single mom is a "package deal." When you're dating her you're dating her, but when things get more serious her child will become involved. You may not get to meet her child for a while, but the time will come. You should show genuine interest in the well-being of her child. Ask questions about how her child is doing and show that you realize it's not just HER.

This leads me to. . .

6. Don't be PUSHY About Meeting Her Child(ren).

After a 1st date a guy asked whether I could bring my daughter on our 2nd date. When I declined he became very hostile and defensive asking whether I thought he was a "bad man." He was a "nice" guy. He thought he would sweeten the deal if he offered to buy her lots of toys and to fly us all 1st class to Florida to Disney World. He went so far as to offer to fly Baby Love's dad up here so we could all have dinner together. He just did not understand why IF I liked him I didn't also want him to meet and connect with my child. We were chatting for a month before we both had the chance to go out so he wasn't a complete stranger, but still he was stranger enough. We went on one more date, but his persistent pushy-ness was a huge turnoff. Don't be like that guy. My daughter is very young and I don't want her looking at every man with the "Are You My Daddyyyy?" eyes. Besides, when it comes to my kid I don't trust anyone 100% who ain't me.

7. Spoil Her.

Being a single mom is one of the most thankless jobs in the world. We cook, clean, organize and take care of ourselves and our kid(s) day in and day out. We usher them to school each day and go on about our professional lives to make sure we keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. All this while balancing egos and co-parenting to the best of our ability. We rarely hear thank you and often our kids are ungrateful unintentionally. Yes she would love fresh flowers, but does her grass need to be cut (pun, but not really lol)? Can you take the trash out? Can you hire a maid for her? Does something need to fixed around the house? Can you get her car detailed? Can you get her car serviced? Think outside of the box when you want to do something nice for her. Try to make sure your nice gestures are not actually things that will burden her. Nothing is sexier than a man who wants to take some of the weight off of a mom.

BONUS: Listen. It is not easy doing it all (or mostly) on your own. Sometimes the kid is sick and she doesn't sleep for 3 days. Sometimes she spends 24 hours cleaning up toddler vomit. Sometimes it takes her 4 days to finish laundry. Sometimes she just wants to cry and be vulnerable. Allow her the space to do that. Allow her to talk about how hard it gets and to be honest about her worries and fears. We all fear we're going to make huge mistakes, but we are all doing the best we can do. If you're trying to be part of her life you will have to understand sometimes she just needs an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.

If you have decided to date a single mom these are just some things to keep in mind. Do you have any you would add? Any experiences you care to share?

I know these rules won't apply to every person or every parent. If it don't apply, let it fly.

Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!

30 Signs You're Going on 30

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Mon, 26 Jan 2015 17:02:00 +0000

Welcome to another "Hey! You're getting older" post. As if you haven't read enough of these already. Yet here you are. . .reading another one.

Last week my oldest niece and I were riding around running errands and she asked me whether she could ask me a question. I said sure and she said:

Niece:"How old are you auntie?"
Me: "How old do you think I am?"
Niece: "You must be old. Cuz you know a lot of stuff. You know all of my homework answers and you're smarter than my Principal."
Me: "I'm almost 30."
Niece: "So does that mean you're almost old? Cuz 30 is sooooo old!"
Me: "I hope you laugh at this convo when you're my age."

Gotta love the kids.

People born in 1985 turn 30 this year.

WHO COMMISSIONED THAT?!?
Thirty?
30?!!!!!!
What does this mean?
What's the learning curve?
Do I have to stop bullish*ttin or else I'm gonna feel like a failure on the daily?
Do I have to finally be responsible?
Is it the age I have to know better?
Is it the age I FINALLY have to do better?
Is it the age I have to carry a sweater with me at all times?
Is it the age I start to keep tailgating chairs in my trunk in case I find myself at a parade or have to stand in a line?
Is it the age I have to stop living young and wild with 20-somethings?

Nooooooooooooooo!!!
MAKE IT STOP!!!
Make time stop!
How did this happen so fast?
Seems like I was just turning 25 last year!

*breathe*

Ok. 30 isn't old. 109 is old. & apparently the secret to living to 109 is avoiding men.

10 year old me should have managed her dreams better. I'm supposed to be married to The Famous Jett Jackson (RIP) and rich with a house on the lake by now.

You don't need to focus on that new wrinkle or that rogue gray hair(there will be more!), here are 30 signs you're going on 30:

30. You Start to ACT Like Your Parents.
29. You start to SOUND like your parents.
28. You've come a long way from that 18 year old who used to get overdraft fees on the regular. Or maybe not.
27. You start to plan for retirement.
26. You have noticeable gray hairs.

25. Your Favorite Celebs (not named Nia Long) Have Aged.
24. The actors who played kids on your favorite shows are all grownups with families.
23. The actors who played the mother and father figures on your favorite shows are dying. *sigh*

22. You Wake up with Random Ailments.
21. Not only that, but you come up with random ways to explain them because you know if you check WebMD it's going to tell you you're dying.
20. Your Priorities Have Changed. Face it: The things that used to be so important just aren't so important anymore.

19. You've got a "bucket list." As in a "things to do before you die" list.
18. You Value Spending Time With Family.
17. You appreciate your parents more because you realize at some point they were just like you.

16. You Don't Understand the Youth.
15. You complain about current music and language.
14. You stay away from "18 to party" clubs cuz those kids don't know how to act.
13. Oh and what the hell is "Bustin out the bando?"

12. Your Facebook Newsfeed is mostly think pieces and pictures of families.
11. Your Approach to (life/dating/friendships)has Changed.
10. You're playing by your own rules. You make em. You make exceptions to 'em. You break 'em.
9. You stopped caring what other people think. You have realized it's your life and you
live it unapologetically. Salute!

8. You're not interested in partying.
7. You tried to party "hard" and your body failed you.
6. You've set boundaries on fun: ONE after work happy hour/week and clubbing ONE weekend day/month.

5. You favorite part of going to the club is when it's time to leave.
4. Your second favorite part of going to the club is the "throwback" songs set. Those are the songs you actually know.
3. You remember "the good ol days." Like when you sang the lyrics to songs you didn't really understand and your biggest worry was what time your friends could come out to play.

2. You spend "the weekend" doing adult things like laundry and running errands. Next stop: Responsibility-ville with the Chief of the Fun Police.

1. You need help with Electronics. Go ahead. Ask the barely legal phone rep how to access certain features on your new phone.

Awwww do ya feel old? Beloved, it is ok to age. Find a good moisturizer and age gracefully. As an aside, if you don't have it "all together" just be patient with yourself. We are often our own worst critics and that means we see things as worse than they really are. Things will fall into place. Resist the urge to compare yourself to your peers. You may not have your dream job, or a dream house, or be married or have a child yet, but if those things are meant for you they will happen for you. You may not be where you want to be, but with a plan in place you won't be in the same place for long.

I'm blessed (I'm willing to bet you are too). I'm rich in ways that don't involve money (got a few coins too tho lol). And I DO have my house by the lake if you count my law school loans as a house. The deed is rolled up under my bed collecting dust.

Live it up!
Take Chances!
Make Mistakes!
Get Messy!

Then go take a nap.

Peace.

It Must Be The Shoes: 8 Reasons Jordan Fanatics Aren't Your Problem

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Thu, 18 Dec 2014 15:40:00 +0000

Every year around Christmas the Jordan brand releases a limited release sneaker. Every year the pandemonium around copping (or buying) said sneaker gets more ridiculous. If you find the shoe desirable your options for copping are as follows:
1) Standing in Line
2) Using a Sneaker Broker
3) Having a Reliable Sneaker Connect
4) Camping Out
5) Buying Them Online (the servers of the top stores usually crash)

I'm fed up.

When I was growing up I wore all kinds of sneakers from Skechers to LA Gears to KSwiss to Jordans and everything in between. I was fresh as hell too. The most popular shoes varied each year but I remember pressing my parents for Grant Hill's, Ken Griffeys, Deion's, Scottie Pippens and Jordan's. When I got a pair of Jordan's my dad and I would go to the mall on or after the release day. There were no lines. We didn't need a special relationship with the store owner or store manager. I tried the shoes on, he paid for them and we carried on about our day.

Something has changed.

What's happened recently is the Jordan brand limited releases have become a spectacle. Demand often far exceeds supply and it creates a marketplace where people go to extremes to get their hands on a pair. There are people called "sneaker brokers" who make claims to guarantee customers a pair for a fee. (See pic below).

While some Jordan's are quietly released and there isn't much hype about them, many Jordan retro releases cause people act irrationally. As I type this on Wednesday there are people camping out pending the release of the Air Jordan 11 Retro "Legends Blue" on Saturday. Never mind that people camp out for iPhones or video games the framing of the stories about people who camp out feels different. The Jordan campers are absurd. They must not vote. They're not mentors or pillars of the community. They must not have jobs. Their priorities are mixed up.

Full Disclosure: My 7 month old daughter has 10+ pairs of Jordans and over 30 pairs of shoes. I'm not bragging I just want you to have an idea who this is coming from. We buy for her not because we want to impress other adults (I could NOT care less what other adults think of what she's wearing. I'm her primary stylist and I style her and create custom pieces for her because of what I like her to have.), but we buy them because we want her to have them. We don't buy every pair, but if we get a pair she gets a pair too. She also has an investment account, savings accounts, and a college savings plan so judge ya mama.

For those unfamiliar with the sneaker game, in terms of serious sneaker consumers the players are "sneakerheads," "hypebeasts" & "sneaker brokers." Sneakerheads are people who collect sneakers for no other reason than they consider certain sneakers collectible items. They take special care of their sneakers. They preserve their sneakers. Keep your judgment about depreciating value. While there are other sneakers or shoes one could buy, Jordan's have maintained dominance amongst classic sneaker lovers. Then there are the "hypebeasts." Ask a sneaker head about a hypebeast if you want to see them get riled up. Hypebeasts are people who only buy shoes for the sole purpose of impressing others. They want bragging rights. They don't care how ugly or stylish the shoes are. They want them because everyone else wants them. Since hypebeasts are usually the flashiest and loudest these are likely the people most think of when they imagine Jordan fanatics. Hypebeasts are hypebeasts and nothing more.

Not sure if someone is a hypebeast or a legit sneaker head?
Here's the test: Sneakerheads will do things within reason to get shoes, but understand the game enough not to allow copping the shoes to supersede other priorities. Sneakerheads know there will likely be restocks. Hypebeasts are the ones camping out and paying 4x the retail price just to say they have them. Hypebeasts are also the ones skipping out on bills & meals to get them.

"They're retro shoes! They're just gonna get released again"

Here are 8 reasons critics of Jordan Fanatics need to play the quiet game:

8. It's not YOUR Money to Spend. Whether it's on a Battery Operated Boyfriend, Mary Jane, Taylor Swift CDs or Retro Jordan's let people spend their money the way they want to spend their money.

7. Their Reason For Buying Them Is NOT Your Business.
"They're just buying them to Impress Other People."
"The children don't know the difference between Jordan's and (insert cheaper shoe)."
Whether their cousin has a contract with Nike or they're a hype beast that camped out it does not matter. How or why they got the shoes is none of your business.

6. They're Not Hurting YOU. When you see a person wearing Jordan's does it hurt you? When you drive by the mall and see people standing in line for a chance to buy them does that impact your world? If the answer is no it's time for you to reflect on why you're so mad.

5. All Jordan Fanatics Are NOT the same. We are lawyers, doctors, engineers, writers, and dentists. We are athletes, entrepreneurs and blue collar workers with undeniable work ethics. Just like any other clusters there are a few ignorant people in the bunch making the rest of us look bad. They're the ones blaming the shoes for their choice to go out robbing, fighting, destroying property and harming others. For the most part we just wanna buy our shoes and go about our business.

4. Worry About Yourself. Don't you have a 401(k) to brag about? A car that needs an oil change? A credit card bill that needs paying? A drink to drank? Stop worrying about how other people live their lives or how they're managing to do so much. Live & let live!

3. You're Focusing Too Much On Someone Else.
"They can afford Jordans, but their kids don't have college funds?"
"She bought Jordan's for her whole family, but she doesn't work"
"They're buying Jordan's, but they don't own their home"
I know social media makes it hard for us to mind our own business, but more people should try it. Shift your focus and figure out how to make your own life better.

2. Their Priorities are NOT Yours to Make. What's it to YOU if it looks like their priorities are messed up? Why does it bother you so much what someone else chooses to do with their money? So what because someone is buying Jordan's but doesn't have a car?? Yes. I said it. SO WHAT?! If they're ok with getting on the bus wearing $200 sneakers why can't you be ok with them doing it? You can't want more for someone than they want for themselves. It's not your job to do the math of how much it would cost them to own a car vs buying Jordan's once a month. Let them be fresh as hell on the city bus. Less traffic for the rest of us.

1. You're no Better Because You Think You Know Better. Just as Jordan fanatics are not horrible people for buying the shoes, the people who choose not to buy them are no better. Be Clear: Jordan fanatics are not better people, parents, children, aunts or uncles because they buy Air Jordan's. They are no less of the same for choosing to do so. If you want to enlighten people about corporate practices that is one thing, but to make comments because you think you're better than them for never having purchased or owned a pair is another.

Everything is not meant for everyone to understand. I don't understand why people book layovers on domestic flights. I also don't understand why I wasn't in Beyonce's 7/11 video, but I still manage.

Before ya go criticizing me and telling me how Jordan doesn't care about the black community or how he hasn't done anything to uplift the black community. . .these notions are not new to me. I think the obsession with the shoes has gotten out of hand. I also think the obsession with many things has gotten out of hand. Look around. We're living in a time where people make decisions based on Instagram likes. There's so much more things we could pick battles about. They're JUST shoes y'all.

Micheal Jordan is still the greatest basketball player of all time.

Peace.

Ratchet TV RECAPS: Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta Season 2 Episode 2

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 00:11:00 +0000

15 minutes before the show starts and I'm not sure I want to keep watching. Last season I wavered because there were points when it seemed TOO scripted. I know what I DO NOT WANT TO SEE: Mimi looking stupid. Her level of stupidity is almost unbelievable. I'm hard pressed to believe it's all for the sake of good tv. Anyway, in case you're just tuning in to these posts here's how it goes:

I watch LAHH: ATL during the first showing and share my unfiltered thoughts about the goings on of the episode. Throughout this time you are free to add comments as you see fit. I will update the post after each commercial break and add final commentary and photos. Viola! Magic.

*Sips wine*

I'm here for the women with boyfriends and boo thangs who refuse to watch LAHH:ATL with them.

Good thing I tuned in 2 minutes early. Caught another preview of what's to come this season. Gotta admit I'm STILL not excited.

SHOWTIME!!!

8:01PM Joseline starts off the episode with Stevie J in her bed. Dah well guess the love triangle still lives on. Joseline tells Stevie for the umpteenth time she wants to let their "relationship" go. Joseline says her job is to be a "bad bitch." Stevie seems to think he's some sort of "gatekeeper."

8:04PM Erica welcomes Scrappy home. I assumed he was in jail, but she says he was out doing shows. Scrappy is rockin the finest mall kiosk jewelry and the best designer clothes a booster can remove the security tags from. Ooooooh snap! He's rockin a leather vest. Let me find out Joe Budden has an underground vest line. Wait Scrappy's government name is Darryl? But he wants us to call him Skris-nah-eee? Noted.

8:07PM Who is this motherfu. . .beloved woman? Oh DJ Traci Steele. Never heard of her. Her claim to fame is that she dated Chris Brown's DJ 6 years ago. Is that supposed to mean something? Ok girl. I'm putting my tv on mute. I'm gonna guess this is the person who will say, "They only want you cuz you're Chris Brown's DJ." She strikes me as the type of woman who had a baby to keep a man. & failed. Miserably.

**Break**

8:16PM Mimi is in the gym punching bags with KC 2.0. Yeaaa, but she sat there and let Joseline play her to the left in her house. Joseline would proly mollywhop Mimikins. "You can't watch over a man" is perhaps the smartest thing I've ever heard KC 2.0 say. Mimi says she's not doing it anymore. I don't believe her. She's too old for this shit. Really.

8:19PM Joseline meets some kid named Dawn at Thrive in Atlanta. Somethin about them being hustlers. Chile they used to be hooking together. She tells Joseline how much she's been making. I find it disturbing that she's so "about" her money, but she doesn't know what's on the books or in her contract. "I'm just fucking him, going out to eat, having fun." Ok girl.

8:22PM Momma Dee met up with Buckeey. Why is she here feeding this poor girl lies behind the wheel of a Coupe de Ville? Momma Dee decided it was ok to invite Buckeey to the studio. She reminds me of one of those women from "The Wire."

**Break**

8:28PM That DJ girl is back. Her name is Traci and she keeps calling her son Baby Drew. Traci lost her mind because she thought having a baby would make him stay around. He just straight up asked her for $25k to help him open a sneaker store. She co-signed a truck that he let "groupie bitches" drive. She's so bitter. Everything for her goes back to hoes. This right here is a woman scorned. She's what I call "a stupid hoe." She's REALLY letting this man sell her pipe dreams. Amazing.

8:31PM Scrappy visits Erica's mom. Why are there so many undone buttons on his button down shirt? Her mom wants to know some thangs. Can't blame her.

8:33PM Joseline meets up with Stevie. She asks questions about her contract. He refuses to give her a copy of her contract. This feels like one of those deals where the artist gets a Cadillac. Stevie J is a pimp ass negro.

**Break**

8:39PM Mimi secured her own spot. No not with Stevie J. She got her own place for real this time. & she probably didn't even need a co-signer. I get the feeling this is a first for Mimi. I don't know about KC 2.0 as her main confidante. Her ass is so big and perky tho #norainbow LOL!

8:40PM Scrappy is in the studio. "He put them paws on em" is about to be a real life single. I can already tell it's gonna be TRASH or what would he call it? Triz-nah-ee. Momma Dee is totally in love with her son. It's disgusting. In walks Buckeey. This is pitiful. Pretty sure Momma Dee wants to dip her finger in that sugar bowl. Sittin up there lookin like Scar.

**Break**

8:45PM Buckeey thinks Scri-nah-eee owes her an apologiz-nah-ee. Scar leaves at the perfect time and they are alone. I guess this is Buckeey's way to get her closure. She's ugly crying on tv tho and her weave is triz-nah-ee. Shay says she deserved better because she is "a good person." That is what everyone says. It carries no weight. Who is gonna voluntarily proclaim to be a bad person?

8:48PM Stevie goes to see old man no-neck (Benzino). What world are we living in where Benzino is the voice of reason? & he's upset Stevie changed his number? So is he one of the people riding Stevie's "bus?" Why is Stevie drinking and driving tho?

**Break**

8:55PM Alright let's see what cliffhanger will make us want to tune in next week. Stevie comes home with flowers and a gift. He's been gone for a few days & calls it "taking care of business." Please. He's been laid up in sin with Joseline. Well this went LEFT quite quickly. I don't think I've ever seen a man use a child as a tool for control. He has real control issues.

We get to see that Stevie won't take Mimi's leaving him sitting down. He gets man handled by security. Momma Dee and Erica will eventually try to get physical as well as Rashida and KC 2.0. I do know one thing: There are a lot of angry and bitter people on this show.

Well there ya have it folks. Episode 2 is over. Will you be tuning in next week?

RATCHETLANTA BACK: Love & Hip-Hop ATL's Season 2 Premiere

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:22:00 +0000

Before we get started...I need y'all to know how EXCITED I am to return to blogging. I know it's a little much that I decided to return along with Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, but I'm not bothered by your judgment. I thought it fitting since LAHHATL helped me realize my blogging potential.

I started a full-time job this past February so I haven't been particularly motivated to blog after writing and looking at computer screens for a living. All I got is a promise and a desire to do better. As soon as I can find a balance, I'll get back to keeping you all in the loop about the ratchet goings on in this world.

I apologize in advance cuz I know this post shall be laced with cuss after cuss. Forgive me if you're offended.

In case you don't know where we left off...you can read my recaps from the reunion HERE and HERE.

8:00PM As always, we start with a recap of what happened last season. We've got Buckeey, Steebie Joseline, Mimi, Rasheeda, K. Michelle's crazy ass and the others. Don't bother telling me their names. Them shits don't matter

Bring on the gah damn show!

8:02PM Confession: I'm not sure what to expect. I'm just ready to get to seeing some tables shaking. Wait a minute. Why are we watching Mimi shower? Was there a question about her cleanliness? Is she combating stanky puss rumors with this shower scene? I'm asking for a friend :).

This basic bitch (yes, I called her a bitch!) Mimi starts out saying she's cleaning house and then we cut to find out she's at Stevie J's house. OMG their daughter is adorable!!!!! Mimi's really on her bullshit again this season I see. Word on the street is Stevie has a mean stroke. Dickmatization is real outchea.

8:05PM We cut to Erica and Scrappy's house. Erica's helping Scrappy humblebrag about his designer "swag." Why is this room looking so empty? Scrappy claims he can't wear anything twice. I've heard that he keeps the boosters paid sooooooo I'm not buying all this "swag."

8:07PM And here we go. Joseline finally gets her air time. She's in rehearsal. Stevie says they're the hottest team in the industry. Goodness Joseline has a phatty! In case you didn't know, they hand out phatty's in Atlanta at the Waffle house. Go get you one! But get in line behind me.

**Break**

8:15PM Buckeey gets her time to shine bright like aluminum foil. She's tryna understand how Scrappy played her to the left. Of course she's decided the best way to get answers is to confide in Momma Dee. Momma Dee is what folks in the hood would call "Green as f*ck!" Look it up on Urban Dictionary.

8:17PM It's K. Michelle's turn in the flashlight. She says her life is amazing because of her deal with Warner Brothers. Kudos to her. I'm still thinkin she's the same crazy she was last season. I just don't wanna hear her talk about how that man beat her ass. She also mentions somethin about having "fans." Not sure where that came from.

8:20PM Erica and her mom are in a jewelry store. HOLY SHIT! They're getting her ring appraised. This is some disrespectful low down dirty kinda shut yo mouf. Wow! Just Wow! Now if he comes back & tells her it's worth $700 she gone be mad. Well it's worth $21, 200. Woop de damn doo.
**Break**

8:26PM Somebody done gave BenNONECKZino a late night show on v-103 in Atlanta. Still no word on whether his neck is scheduled to make an appearance. Jury is still out after he simped for Karlie Redd last season. Joseline reveals she makes about "20 stacks per week doing shows." That's $20,000. I'm clearly in the wrong career field. Joseline is 26? Damn life been rough on her. I'da put her at 31. Oops.

8:29PM K. Michelle & Erica are having dinner. Not much to discuss here except that K. Michelle wants to throw Erica an "intimate engagement party." & now we start to set up for the first fight of the season. KC 2.0 is ALWAYS looking for drama. Y'all know that. Ariane (Mimi's friend) revealed she once opened up her HOT POCKET for one of Keyshia Cole 2.0's exes and she hadn't told her. That's a violation of the G code in KC 2.0's eyes. How in the world is she still finding ways to be hurt? Girl BYE!

8:31PM Stevie J walked up in Joseline's apartment like he owned that hoe. Nice to see that Joseline has these wall applique flowers from Ikea in her place. She's just a regular woman like you & me. In case you couldn't tell by now, these two are still smanging. Mimi must be a terrible lay.

**Break**

8:37PM MiMi & Ariane are en route to Erica's engagement party. In the words of Katrina Laverne: "Oh is all of this over some dick?"Soooo this engagement party is a table at a lounge? I hope my friends like me enough to throw me a big hat tea.

8:40PM MiMi explains she's living with Stevie to keep Joseline from around her daughter. Nobody is buying it, but we're not here to judge. Girl get you some gah damn sense, k? Meanwhile, Erica is tryna establish her victory with Lil Scrappy. Wonder who he's gonna put them paws on this season?

Here comes our first conflict. I hope y'all have learned to spot this kinda shit from a mile away. If you haven't, please email me because I have failed you. Ariane says she fucks with KC 2.0 & KC 2.0 says she fucks with her too. Not sure why they're yelling tho. BTW, I love Ariane. Hold up. These heffas just kissed on the lips. Wonder how much residual dic...nevermind.

**Break**

8:45PM Is it creepy that I think Momma Dee is the kind of single muva to be in love with her son? Moving on. Momma Dee showed up to make a case against Scrappy's fiance. I know that's his moms and all, but Scrappy's mama needs help. I can understand Scrappy's mindset because I get to see how the person who raised him acts. She's certified!

Who gives a good got damn how Buckeey feels? She needs to move on. Scrappy tells his mom to respect his decision and to try to have a relationship with Erica. That's real life right there.

8:48PM Stevie J asks MiMi whether she's happy. Guess gettin good pipe aint good enough for her these days. She says they have been spending more time together since he kicked Joseline out. Duh! Don't yaw live together? She cannot be this damned clueless!

8:50PM Joseline walks into Stevie's house. No knock. No doorbell. No announcement of who she is. She probably still has her house key. She says to MiMi, "I see you got on your maid outfit like you always do." Holy hell! This woman has some balls. She called Mimi "Molly the Maid" ooooohhhhh myyy gawddddd I can't hardly take it. Then, MiMi INSTRUCTS Joseline to leave. No no no that's now how it works. You don't ASK someone to leave your own house. What you won't do is pop up to my house This is how I know MiMi is a lost cause: She kicked the so-called "side-chick" out, but he left with her "him." You lost, babygirl. 15 years & you still don't have a grip.

**Break**

8:56PM & we're reminded that Joseline's snatch is yankin. MiMi is surprised (whoo chile!) that Stevie left with Joseline. The censor person needs to be fired, by the way. Why is MiMi gettin SO AGGRESSIVE right now? Too late to be thuggin right now. Stevie leaves the room by saying "Clean my room Molly Maid." Consider me DONE!

What did you think of this week's episode? Did I miss any major moments? Did y'all peep the previews from the episodes coming up? Will you be watching this season? I'm listening.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Little Known Ratchet History Fact #2: "The FIRST Hook UP"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 12:02:00 +0000

Join me on this 87th anniversary of Negro History Week as I share some little known facts about ratchet history throughout this month. Why? Because ratchets deserve history books and you will DEAL! In today's installment, we learn about The "Hook Up."

Cheryl "Peaches" Delaney of Englewood, NJ, was working the night shift at a McDonald's in 1974. The 16 year-old high school junior had just been severely reprimanded by her manager, one Albert Mahoney, over her Afro hairdo being unprofessional.

Mahoney gave her an ultimatum of wearing a clown hat or being fired, and Delaney, working to save money for cosmetology school, relented and wore the clown hat.

Hours later, she noticed several of her classmates at the drive-through window, on their way to a party. Luscious Jones, Fred Williams, Eddie James, and Derrick Clemmons were riding in a green AMC Pacer(pictured below). The four of them ordered four hamburgers, and were going to split three orders of fries and two Cokes.
Peaches, who was filling the order, noticing that Mahoney (the manager) had taken his nightly thirty-minute bathroom break, had an epiphany. She locked eyes with Lawanda, who was on fries, and Fat Sam, who was on the register and in a blur of motion, they stuffed 4 jumbo bags with 15 hamburgers, 5 cheeseburgers and 6 orders of large fries accepting only $1.01 from Luscious Jones as payment.

Cheryl "Peaches" Delaney had invented. . ."The Hook-Up."

We salute you Ms. Cheryl "Peaches" Delaney.. . A Leader in Ratchet-American History!

Shout out to Rodney for sharing this.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Little Known Ratchet History Fact #1: The "Twerk" Revolution

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 14:34:00 +0000

Happy Black History Month!!!

I know your favorite blogs, radio shows and tv networks are doing the obligatory nod to great moments in black history. You're gonna hear stories about Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jim Crow and The Montgomery Bus Boycott among other things. This AIN'T what that is. The time is long overdue for us to salute ratchets for their contributions to American History. That time is now.

Twerk (v): A combination of dance moves that involve wining and gyrating one's hips and booty in a sexually provocative manner. Made popular by a group of Atlanta-based dancers called "The Twerk Team."

According to their Facebook Fan Page (get into it!), the Twerk Team is an Atlanta based dance group that started in 2005. The two official members, Mizz Twerksum and Lady Luscious, got their start by dancing at house parties. The two got their big break after they posted a video of them dancing to Soulja Boy's "She Got a Donk" and it got over 1 million views on Youtube in the 1st week.

Although the group currently has two official members, the ladies have added (and cut) other members like Betty Butt, Kandy Girl and Shawty Bear. Some time in 2009, they began building a following with their #TwerkTeamThursday booty shaking videos. At that time, Thursdays signaled the release of new videos by the three ladies "twerking" to different rap and hip-hop songs. When Waka Flocka Flames gave them props in his "Ass Clap" song with the line "Bounce that ass/shake that ass like the Twerk Team" he sent amateur twerkers into a frenzy and helped The Twerk Team take their career to the next level.

Once the Twerk Team's career took off, the Twerking Revolution began. The ladies began traveling nationwide to do shows and host/judge Twerking Contests. Thousands of women began uploading videos of themselves twerking in their underwear at home. A quick check of the site YouTwerk.com shows just how many "girls next door" are twerking. There have been twerking contests via Twitter, WorldStarHipHop and even Facebook (which is usually behind on the ratchet curve). If you don't have at least one person uploading videos of themselves twerking with captions like "just playing around" you're losing at using social media.

I'm from South Florida so I'm down with all kinds of dancing. The women (and men) in South Florida have been twerking since Morgan Freeman was a lil boy, but the Twerk Team has made it a "thing." iSalute them for that. Twerk Team's videos feature the women wearing form fitting clothes while twerking to popular songs in front of a large mirror inside of a home. Their videos average 1 million views. To the untrained eye, it appears the ladies merely throw on a pair of shorts in an empty house and dance the same damn dances to whatever song is getting the most radio play. And that's fine.

You can follow them on twitter: @TwerkTeam
So what do you think of the Twerk Revolution? Do you know any amateur twerkers? Do you or any of your friends twerk? I'm listening.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: USDA's "Throw This Money"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 13:18:00 +0000

Happy Black History Month!!! *Snickers*
Today's song is brought to you by BYOB strip clubs and portable stripper poles. What better way to celebrate Black History Month and the Friday before the Superbowl than with a ratchet song? Young Jeezy and his crew are responsible for this one. The men of USDA & CTE gave us a strip club anthem and the music industry is better for it. Listen with me. Warning: This version is NOT suitable for work.

If you're one who likes strip clubs, I suggest you add this to your iTunes asaptually. With a straightforward chorus line, "Gone shake ya a$$ b*tch imma throw this money" the men of USDA are giving all strippers (and the women who secretly envy them) something to dance to. If it makes you feel better, tune out the lyrics and just dance to the beat. Now put this joint on repeat until you're in the mood to make it rain in the nearest strip club!

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: C-Murder Feat. Magic "Down for my N's"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:31:00 +0000

Today's song is brought to you by cheap vodka and oversized jerzees. Because today is Friday and you've got plans to spend time with your friends this weekend. In what became the ultimate "clique" anthem of it's time, C-Murder gave the thugs somethin to rap along to in the club. The song pretty much says, "Eff your friends cuz I got my friends." Listen with me.

For those who don't know, C Murder is currently serving a life sentence in prison. At least he left us with musical gems like today's song to remember him by, right?

Have a great weekend folks!

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

The 5 (Ugly) Truths About "Settling"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:01:00 +0000

A few days ago while on one of my morning runs I ran into a woman who was visibly upset. She wasn't crying, but if she walked by a group of men they would probably tell her to smile. Anyway I have this thing where I attract strangers who tell me their problems even when I don't want to hear them. With the increase in the number of times I'm out in public due to work, it happens about once a week.

Back to the story.
We're standing at a crosswalk and we're doing that thing where you're standing next to someone and trying to pretend you're not watching them.
You know the thing.
I could sense that she was upset, but I was tryna focus on my run. She turns to me JUST as my iPod is between songs and says with a fierce tone "Don't EVER settle." I must have looked at her with the "wtf face" because my reaction gave her cause to tell me more. She continued, "Don't ever go for a guy because he's nice. Everyone can be nice. Don't tell yourself there are things you can get past like messed up teeth or the fact that he doesn't have a job, or a place to stay. Don't settle, ok?"
It could be the fact that having a nice smile is on my list of things I desire in a man. It could be that the first word that comes to mind when describing the last 3 guys I went out with is "nice." It could be the fact that I've been dating pretty consistently and I'm not head over heels or whatever. Something she said struck a chord with me.
Hello...my name is Raine and I am afraid of settling.

My friends call me picky and say I have crazy standards that are impossible for one man to meet.

I (obviously) don't agree.

Let's get my list out of the way, shall we?
1. Must love God & have a relationship with Him.
2. Be honest.
3. Be loyal.
4. Be adventurous/spontaneous.
5. Be funny.
6. Be a hard worker.
7. Have (at least) a mid-level credit score.
8. MUST have nice teeth.
9. Either no kid OR one kid max. If he has a kid he MUST be an active father & no baby mama drama.

That was my primary list. None of those things are deal breakers set in stone. If I like a guy enough, I'm willing to work around some thangs. I also have a secondary list that I don't normally share. That list includes things that are not quite deal breakers, but are likely to lead me to be more serious about getting to know a man who has things on the list. Things like he must be taller than me, enjoys traveling, has a least a bachelor's degree, impresses my friends and is a non-(cigarette) smoker. Ya know, the things that make ME look good for cuffing a great guy like him.

Although the dictionary defines "settle" as, "To put into order/ arrange or fix definitely as desired," that definition is outdated. To "settle" has become a terrible awful thing to do. Socially, it has come to mean, "To affix oneself to another as available." In other words, you commit to the boo you have cuz that's the best thing available at the moment. To me, settling is ranges from accepting that your boo doesn't have that "one thing (word to Amerie)" you always dreamed they would have to accepting that no one is perfect.

But...what does settling LOOK like?

Is it marrying a man who makes six figures, but can't be the beast you know you NEED in the bedroom?

Is it marrying the guy who makes you laugh, but can't afford to take you out for a nice dinner if he wanted to?

Is it marrying the opposite of your dream guy/girl?

Is it when a dentist falls in love with someone with jacked up teeth because they can be fixed?

Is it when an accountant falls for someone with bad credit?

Is it when a lawyer falls for a convicted felon?

Is it when a Pastor falls for a prostitute?

These are serious questions so don't you dare laugh.

This brings me to today's topic: 5 UGLY Truths About "Settling."

Here we go. . .

5. People Settle "Just Because." When people settle, they don't do it for true love. They do it for some reason other than true love. They were lonely. They were tired of being single. They were ready to get married and have kids. They turned 30. Soooo...they settle. That's all good until you end up on the wrong side of that 50% divorce statistic.

4. Father Time is a B*tchAss. The pressure to "settle down" increases as you get older. As time passes, our list of standards gets smaller (and perhaps more realistic). While it's easy to refuse to date men with kids at age 25, a man with a baby mama doesn't seem so bad when you're 35, childless and have never been married.

3. Men Don't Worry As Much As Women. I'd like to say that men worry about settling as much as women, but they don't. That's not to say they don't worry at all, just that the pressure is different. The only thing that men my age truly worry about is getting the wrong woman pregnant (and possibly having an ugly daughter). At least that's what I've been told.

2. You MUST take your "settle" to your grave. No real man or woman wants to be settled for. You can never tell the person you're with that they weren't your 1st choice. You can never use it as ammo in an argument and you can't use it as an excuse not to be your best self for them.

1. Settling Doesn't Include "Fireworks." Settling is denying yourself the feeling of being truly in love. Love is supposed to be special and give you butterflies. You're supposed to enjoy spending time with the person you love. When you settle, you don't allow yourself to feel that about your boo thang. Disney sold us a dream of "Happily Ever Afters" and endings with a Prince Charming riding in on a white horse to save us. Disney didn't teach us about settling.

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s one of my married friends pointed out...people don't like it when you put standards on love. It's supposed to be organic and happen naturally. Or whatever. Still, the idea of settling for less than your dream guy/girl is the elephant in a room full of single chicks.

So what do you think? Would you rather be single than settle? Have you ever settled? Will you ever settle?

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Ludacris' Move B***h

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 15:05:00 +0000

How is this for your Tuesday? Today's song is brought to you by afro picks with the fist on the handle and the jheri curl activator in the gold bottle. Today's song may not be ratchet to some of you. That's more of a reflection on you than it is on. Just because it was a bit mainstream doesn't make it any less ratchet. Listen with me.

Tellin someone to "Move Bitch. Get outta the way" is def ratchet. On everything(what?! I've been in DC too long!) I say this in my head about a dozen times/day. People don't move outta my way quickly enough. After I've said "Excuse me" & folks don't react quickly enough, my next thought is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS to say "Move Bitch. Get outta my way." I've never said that, but I'm gonna do it one of these days lol!

This is on my iPod's "Metro to Work" playlist. If you take public transpo to work, I suggest you add it as well. Hope it got your blood pumpin!

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Reader Submitted Topic: The Three "Are's" of Unleashing Your Inner (Sexual) Beast

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 05:09:00 +0000

First off, this is my first post under my new "pen name" Raine Lali Gabrielle. Woo!

One of the greatest things about the increase in my blog's traffic (thanks, btw!) is that people have started sending me random ideas for blog posts. I appreciate all of the ideas. This post came about because of one of you. Send me questions and ideas to TalentedGeneration@Gmail.com. If it tickles my fancy, I might write about it. Won't that make you feel special? You know it will.
The convo with The Reader went like this:
Reader: I've got an idea for your blog. U ready?
Raine: Lemme hear it.
Reader: So I was at a dinner party last night.
Raine: And?

Reader: I learned that women who have a freaky side to them are concerned about looking like hoes if they let the freak out too soon. Do women really worry about that?

Raine: Interesting. I suppose a decent woman doesn't want a guy to think she's a hoe. Even if she becomes one in the bedroom. Very interesting.

Reader: But why would she worry about that?

Raine: Because men don't marry hoes. They have wild sex with them and then marry the quiet women who are terrible lays.

Reader: Is that Shade?

Raine: It's an awning! lol I'm kidding. I have friends who are married & I love them. Just using extremes to make a point.

Reader: So my question is when is it an appropriate time to let a guy see your freaky side without having to worry about him think youz a hoe? *Ludacris voice*

Raine: Steve Harvey said it's 90 days. Oh wait. That's 90 days to actually have sex.

Reader: RIGHT. How long after you have already started having sex are you supposed to wait to activate your "Super Freak?"

Raine: Super freak=sexual beast. Ooooh so you mean like a timeline for UNLEASHING your sexual beast? I can work with that. Thanks!

Today's question:

Screw the 90 day rule. When you're ready to get it on how soon can you go full on BEAST without scaring them away?

In short, WHEN Should You Unleash Your Inner Beast? I decided to answer that question in two ways: 1) I'll give you a chart and 2) Examples using said chart.

Ready?

Here we go.

Ta-dah! (Hint: Click on image to enlarge). Don't be judging my graphic design skills. I didn't go to school to be a graphic designer. Before we go any further, please know this AIN'T no 90 day rule. This flowchart is especially designed for those people who have ALREADY DECIDED to become intimate and are concerned about when they can enter into "beast mode." Take these recommendations with a grain of salt.

What is An "Inner Beast?"

I don't want you all assuming what I mean by "Inner Beast" so let's start off with an explanation. A “beast” is a sexual being of the highest regard. Do not be confused and think a beast is JUST a freak. Freaks get lazy. Indeed a beast can be a freak, but a freak is not always a beast. Beasts know exactly what they want and they go after it. They are spontaneous, adventurous and they possess vast knowledge about sexual pleasure. They have the ability to pleasure their partner without restrictions. They are, in short, a consistently great lay (and usually a scorpio or gemini lol jk, but not really).
Got it?
Good.
There are three major questions to consider while answering today's question:
3. Are You A Woman?

This question matters because double standards exist. STOP PRETENDING Double Standards Don't Exist! They are a BITCH to deal with, but they exist. As for men, their answer depends on whether he was friendzoned. Example: If he was previously friendzoned, he has to represent and go into beast mode straight outta the gate. He's gotta show her that it was a mistake to put him in the friendzone. If he's whack he may not get another chance. I take that back. He MIGHT get another chance. It's up to him if he wants to take that risk. Men should understand this.
2. Are You Looking For A Relationship??
Your timeline for unleashing your inner beast is different depending on whether you're looking for a relationship, a one-night stand or a casual sex arrangement. I hope the difference between the three is obvious.
Example: IF you are a woman who is not looking for a relationship, the first thing you should consider is whether a man has ever called you crazy. Don't tilt your head to the side and ask why, just go with it. IF you have been called crazy, the next thing is to determine what kind of arrangement the two of you will have. If it will be a one night stand, then your crazy ass should release just enough beast to pleasure your mate stopping just short of swallowing and prostate milking. If it's not gonna be a one night stand, you should "let the beast build." That is, to unleash enough of the beast to let your partner know it's there, but to keep enough tricks so you can still surprise them down the road. You get it.
1. Are There Any Crazy Ex's in Your Present/Past?
This question is important because every person who is a beast in bed has a crazy ex. Not just crazy, but batshit crazy. This is fact. If you don't have a crazy ex, your chances of being a beast are severely diminished. Example: If you are a woman who has never driven a man to blame his "crazy" antics on her, AND you're not sure whether you're a beast, AND a man has never called you crazy AND you haven't had great sex within the past 6 months YOU ARE NOT A BEAST. Whoa! My head is spinning!

There is but one true drawback to unleashing your inner beast: Once you release your inner beast, you have to keep it up. Your partner will be spoiled. You can’t be a beast one time and expect to coast on that for the rest of the time you’re involved.

I am, by no means, asking or encouraging anyone to go strictly by this flowchart. I’m not here to dictate what you do. Do what works for you.

I hereby declare this a judgment free zone. I invite you to be honest with yourselves and then with me in the comments section. Speak ya mind good people.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Nelly's "Tipdrill"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 05:19:00 +0000

Today's song is brought to you by thong bikinis and that black hair glue ratchets use to apply their false eyelashes. Hello somebody! This song is so many things (ratchet, infamous, catchy, etc) for so many reasons. Mattafack, I take that back. The song is not any of those things THE VIDEO IS ALL OF THOSE THINGS. Nelly took a subpar song and made it legendary by attaching a video that will go down in the raunchy music video history books. You can watch this joint on mute and still get the full effect. Warning: NSFW.

Can we all agree that this song is long overdue? This one is for every curvy girl with an ugly face. What? That's mean? Well that's what the song is about. The lyrics are "It must be that ass cuz it ain't yo face." Nelly can say it, but I can't?

That moment when Nelly swipes that card down the crack of that woman's ass tho? All I remember is how my younger brothers would stay up past their bedtime to catch this joint on BET's "Uncut." TV has never been the same.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Yung Humma ft. Flynt Flossy's "Lemme Smang It"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 14:47:00 +0000

Happy New Year folks! While you're busy keeping your new year's resolution I'm busy staying true to myself by listening to ratchet music. Today's song is brought to you by income tax stunters and iPods that fell off the back of a UPS truck. I've been meaning to post this song for quite some time now. If you've been reading Talented Generation you've probably noticed my frequent use of the phrase "smang it." You can thank Yung Humma and Flynt Flossy for that. "Smang it" is MORE than just a phrase. It's like math, but in the form of a song. Smash it + Bang it=smang it. Listen with me.
I was introduced to the raw talent of Flynt Flossy and Yung Humma long before their videos started getting 10 million views on Youtube. They changed my life many years ago. What blows my mind is that they are still without a deal while Trinidad James is rollin in dough. Meanwhile, this duo is performing across the nation to nearly sold out crowds. Ratchets be knowing.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

COUNTDOWN: Top 10 Ratchet Moments of 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 19:58:00 +0000

It's that time of the year again. Folks are making New Year's Resolutions they won't keep and every person with an internet connection thinks we care. Some people got rich. Some people went broke. Blue Ivy Carter was born and many legends in the game died. I know it's been a while since I posted. Trust me I've been busy. Not the kinda busy you pretend to be when you're avoiding people either. I'm talkin genuinely busy. Get outta my business anyway! lol jk

Where was I?
Ahhh yes! Ratchet moments in 2012.
There was no shortage of ratchet moments in 2012. I am so grateful for everyone who behaved without inhibitions and let their ratchet shine bright like a diamond. Thanks, in part, to you all my blog went to another level in 2012. There were soooo many ratchet moments it was hard to consolidate the list to just 10 moments. I am so thankful for all of the ratchet people out there. We may have stopped talking about these ratchet moments, but I am here to refresh your memory.

These moments give me hope for more ratchet behaviors in 2013.
10. The "2012 STOP CIARA FROM MAKING MUSIC CAMPAIGN". Music customers took their buying power to another level and started a petition to get Ciara to stop making music. It might not have gotten over a million signatures, but it was a sign that music fans were sick and tired of having Ciara's music available. If fans of "The Game" can bring the show back, music fans can kill careers with petitions right?

9. The Hot Cheetos & Takis Song. A group of kids wanted to share their new favorite snack. Over 4 million views later these kids have done so much more. If you get confused while watching the video that just means you're too old to know what's hot these days.
8. Serena Williams C-Walked After Winning the Gold at the 2012 Olympics. While some tennis players simply take a bow, or thank God, or fall down in dramatic fashion, Serena Williams wasn't going out like that. The Compton native shocked announcers and the audience when she crip walked (and salsa'd) after her victory. You can take the girl outta the hood...

7. Katt Williams Retired. And then he un-retired. A far cry from his fresh perm and pimp attire, Katt Williams announced his retirement from comedy in 2012. It's hard out here for a pimp. He was arrested 3 times in 3 days while in Seattle and he managed to slap a Target employee. On top of that, he hasn't been funny since 2005. It was funny when I thought it was a phase. Then it was sad. Now it's just pathetic. It's very clear someone needs to step in and send the pimp to rehab. He's got problems with the IRS, lost custody of his kids and gets arrested every other day. Pimp down.

6. Momma Dee Taught us How to Spell. I loved everything about Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta. It was the right amount of ratchet and drama that left us feenin for more each week. Momma Dee had a number of notable quotables, but it was when she taught us how to spell "bitch" that had the innanets goin nuts. "BEE. EYE. TEE. SEE. ACH.& in that order." Don't use insults you can't spell.

5. Deion Sanders Tweets Through a Beatdown.

When most people are involved in a violent altercation their first instinct is to call the cops. Not Primetime. He took to his twitter account to let his followers know what was goings on. We still don't know exactly what happened, but Deion made sure to share as much as possible about his estranged wife's physical attack while their kids were present. Their divorce and custody battle have gotten very ugly in the press.
4. The Pacquiao Knockout Pics. It wasn't funny when Marquez knocked out Pacman. I didn't even watch the fight, but I know that wasn't the funny part. The photos (memes) that took over the interwebs after the knockout made this fight memorable. Creators held nothing back for a solid 72 hours as they creatively showed us that we live in a cold world. Peep the rest here.
3. Trinidad James' Record Deal.

It was one thing for him to pen "All Gold Everything." It was another thing for him to create a video replete with items spray painted gold. It was yet another thing for Trinidad James to land a $2M record deal with Def Jam. Music fans everywhere were flabbergasted. It also spawned hilarious spoofs, like this one. "Popped a Molly I'm sweatin! ::Woo::" James now shares a label with the likes of 2Chainz and Kanye West.
2. Dawn Harper & Kellie Wells Dissed Lolo Jones. Olympic runner Lolo Jones stole the spotlight during this year's olympics. We all knew her story and her claims that she didn't use nary of those 150k condoms delivered to the Olympic village. She didn't win a damned thing, but that didn't stop these two (winning) Olympians from being petty. The two were upset that Lolo was a sorry MF & still got more publicity than they did. Womp womp!

1. News of Shawty Lo's New Reality Show.

The standards for reality tv have long been tossed out of the window. Even the biggest lovers of ratchet reality tv were scratching their heads with this one. Shawty Lo & his 11 kids and 10 baby mamas will be featured in a 1 hour special on Oxygen called "All my Babies Mamas." The ladies (and I use that term loosely) have descriptive names like the “Fighter Baby Mama," the “Jealous Baby Mama," the “Wanna-be Bougie Baby Mama," and “Baby mama from hell." I'm pretty sure this will be a tester to see if they should get a full blown show. This news gives me a renewed hope that 2013 will be JUST AS RATCHET as 2012. I'm so here for it.

Honorable Mentions:
Chris Bosh's Champagne Bath

As the Miami Heat were celebrating their new status as the 2012 NBA Champs, Chris "Champagne" Bosh swooped in and showered himself in the bubbly stuff. It's not exactly ratchet, but it's still funny as all hell.

Oprah on Twitter
After years of dealing with people trying to tell her how to spend her money, Oprah got fed up. She put a dude in his place on twitter.

Chad Johnson headbutted his wife Evelyn Lozada. A mere 41 days after tweeting thru his wedding, Chad reacted to an argument with his wife by head butting her.

Snoop got some good weed and changed his name to "Snoop Lion." After a trip to Jamaica while filming a documentary, Snoop Dogg told the world to call him Snoop Lion.

That's it for my favorite ratchet moments of 2012. What were yours?
Gotta thank everyone for all of your emails, texts, tweets, Facebook posts, etc. with suggestions for ratchet things to post on my blog. You are all appreciated!
Cheers to more ratchet-ness in 2013.

Ratchet Song of the Day: 69 Boyz & Quad City DJ's "12 Days of Christmas"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 03:42:00 +0000

Today's song is brought to you by strawberry flavored black and milds and purple body splash gift sets. As the ink dries on Trinidad James' new $2 Million record deal, it's clear that it's the ratchet season of reaping. We're also 12 days away from Christmas and it's time to get serious about what you're gonna get your loved ones. I know you're struggling with figuring out what to get the ratchets in your life for Christmas. You ain't got to worry cuz I'm here to help ya. Today's song will definitely put you at ease. Listen with me.

Please note that no one in this ENTIRE song pronounced the "s" on the end of Christmas. While regular people sing about a partridges and pear trees, ratchets are asking for a new Cadillac, gold teeth, blunts and free rent. You gotta love it. Now *this* is a trill Christmas song!

In case you couldn't keep up, or decipher through the Southern accents or are looking for ideas on what to get the ratchets in your life for Christmas, below is the list broken down by gender.
Male:
12 Disc changer
11 Philly Blunts
10 Kangols (or Carat gold)
9 Sega Tapes
8 Gold teeth
7 Pair of Adidas(?)
6 Packs of beer
5 Fresh gold chains
4 Thirty Smokers
3 Packs of Draws (underwear)
2 Girlfriends
1 A cadillac to put it all in

Female:
12 Hundred Dollas
11 Pairs of shoes
10 Fingernails
9 Packs of weave
8. Male strippers
7 Bus passes
6 Diamond Rings
5 Months free rent
4 Bangles
3 Pocketbooks
2 Earrings
1 A man with a lot of money

Well there ya have it folks. Don't say I ain't never gave ya nothin.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Single Girl Logic: 5 ways Chicks Rate Guys on the First Date

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 17:37:00 +0000

A few days ago I met a very tall, dark and incredibly handsome gentleman. Let's call him Daniel. I've worked in men's retail so I'm oft quite critical of a man's attire, but Daniel passed my test.

Daniel's suit (probably from Hugo Boss) was tailored with the right amount of shirt poking out of his jacket sleeve, no neckroll, a half break in his pants and his shirt had a slight spread collar. In spite of a small pimple I noticed near his chin, he was statuesque.
He was also wearing my FAVORITE suit combo: Navy suit, pink shirt, pink & navy tie and cognac colored shoes and belt.
He wore a mid-range Movado watch and carried a really nice briefcase, too.
We talked for a few moments and we immediately hit it off.
He seemed confident, intelligent and was witty to boot.
The best part was I could tell he was smitten by my humor and sarcasm. I love when that happens.
After we felt each other out and I decided I would say yes to an invitation to go on a date...something changed.
Daniel became too familiar too quickly.
His shoulders dropped and he started dropping "F" bombs left and right. He asked, "Gah damn is all of this your fuckin hair?" as he reached and touched my hair.
Hold up!
I was disgusted.
All of his allure faded.
I tried to hide it on my face, but I'm sure he saw it.
My interest in him immediately died. Yes. Him touching my hair was a deal breaker. I don't care if he was a nice man. I don't care how fahn he was. I understand to some people that's not a big deal, but it is to me. Don't invade my personal space without my permission.
When someone touches me without my permission, it is a sign of him being inconsiderate. I hear you wondering whether I made him feel comfortable enough to do that. I can't answer that.

Fast forward.
I love football.

Even more than football, I love watching football with friends. I love the random conversations that only occur during commercial breaks while watching football.

Cool story: After my exchange with Daniel, I shared what happened with some of my friends. I have to do that sometimes to make sure I'm not being too pessimistic. The girls totally related to my POV. The men thought I overreacted. Our conversation segued into a discussion of expectations on a first date. After I explained the reasons I could not see myself going out with Daniel, it became quite clear to me that men don't understand what it's like for a woman preparing to go on a first date with a random guy.

Based on that convo, I began to see how much pressure women put on ourselves before a date.
What to wear?
Where to go?
What to say?
When it comes to first dates, women get tunnel vision and worry about the wrong things.
When a woman likes someone, her mind is in overdrive.
We're on high alert for red flags.
We're picky about everything.
We're critical of ourselves.
We walk the line between showing up looking like we put forth some effort to look cute, without "trying too hard."

It makes sense after you read it three times.

Crazy thing is we spend time stressing about dates with dudes who really only want to smash and run.
But I'm chillin doe.

While the fellas are busy checkin out our ASSets as we walk to the bathroom, we're rating some other things. Wondering what they are? Awwwwwww here it goes!

5. How He Treats the Servers. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people in the service industry. Is he flirting with the server? Is he polite? Is he finding reasons not to tip? We're taking notes on how he treats the waiter AND how well (or poorly) he tips.

4. The Location. Women like to feel like he put some effort into the date. Even if he didn't. The location is crucial for setting the tone. Did he make dinner at his place? Not a good idea. Is it a ridiculously expensive restaurant? Stupid. Is it an interactive date? Creative. Did he go with the dinner and a movie idea? Boring. A crowded bar? Horrible.

3. His Overall Appearance. We're lookin at the basics (shoes, clothes, teeth, facial hair, etc), but we're also goin beyond that. Does he smile? Does he walk with confidence? Oh and women like a man who knows how to dress himself. We also like to upgrade men, but you gotta give us something to work with.

2. His Attention Span. Does he pay attention to details? Did he genuinely compliment her? Is he checking his phone every 2 minutes? Is he tweeting thru it? Is he posting pics to Instagram? Is he making eye contact? Is he drinking excessively? Is he high? We look at these things to try to gauge how serious he is about finding "The One." Nevermind what he says, we like to read into his actions.

1. Conversation Topics. First dates should be all about the conversation. The convos can be awkward, but if you listen closely you will learn a lot. The key is to minimize the awkward moments and find a common ground. We're paying attention to the topics he's most comfortable discussing. Does he lead with topics about work or his money? Does he bring up marriage and kids? Does he gossip? Does he watch a lot of reality tv? Did he ask you to explain why you're single?

Well there ya have it folks. 5 ways women rate a guy on a first date. Fellas, what's your recipe for a perfect first date? Ladies, what kinds of things do you analyze on a first date?

Talk to me...

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: KP & Envyi's "Shorty Swing My Way"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 15:06:00 +0000

Today's song is brought to you by fluorescent black lights and jheri curl activator. We have a white woman with a pixie cut repeatedly asking a "shawty" to swing her way while a black girl wearing loose circular sunglasses raps. Sprinkle in a pinch of club dancing, a basic chorus with a catchy beat and VOILA! Shawties swangin your way. The song is ratchet because in my head she's singing about the shawty swinging his peen her way, but maybe that's just me being ratchet. She ain't no Teena Marie, but she sang the hook in today's song. Listen with me.

Don't act like you've never been in a club with a cutie and yearned for him/her to come over and talk to you. If you're single, I wanna remind you that it's almost time to secure a boo to kiss on New Year's. Better get to tellin the shawties to swang your way. 2 points if you can tell me where these 2 people are today.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: D.R.S' "Gangsta Lean"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 05:33:00 +0000

Let me just start by saying I think this is a dope ass song that is only lowkey ratchet. Today's song is brought to you by Jheri curl activator and the makers of 40 Ounce malt liquors. These gangstas got together to harmonize and sing in tribute to fallen gangstas. The song is dedicated to all the homies who died suddenly while living a gansta life. I'm talkin about the dice throwin, drug slangin, bandana carrying gangstas. Listen with me.

For those who don't think it's ratchet, the line "I tip my FAWTY to your memoryyyy" is enough to make it ratchet, but we're not gonna be picky. Who else pours out a lil liquor to honor the fallen homies? We're not gonna talk about ol boy's coke bottle glasses either. I hear y'all judging him. Shame.

This might not be the level of ratchet you all are used to & I'm ok with that. You gotta listen to the words and really watch the video. You got a group of gangstas singing a sad. Even ratchets and gangstas get sad sometimes. Young thugs shed tears too, man.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

Ratchet Song of the Day: Three 6 Mafia's "Lil Freak"

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 03:46:00 +0000

Today's song is brought to you by face tats and paisley printed bandanas. Aside from it being a Three 6 Mafia (usually a GIVEN for ratchetness) song, it's ratchet because it starts "I know a lil freak in Hollwood. Sucks on d*ck. Does it real good." Don't be mad cuz you can't relate. Listen with me.

Some of you may not know this, but before I started following Webbie on twitta I was a huge fan of his music. Savage Life is still one of my favorite albums. This song made me reminisce about some thangs I won't share here. Bet you won't play this at your Thanksgiving dinner! lol!

The 20 Do's & Don'ts of Thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (Raine Lali Gabrielle) — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:04:00 +0000

Knowing the REAL story of Thanksgiving won't stop my show. As long as we still "celebrate" Christopher Columbus Day we can still celebrate Thanksgiving. As a proud Fatty Mcfatfat, I can say without shame that Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday. It is only second behind Christmas because at Christmas I get to eat delicious food AND get awesome gifts. Either way, I have my tights and loose fitting clothing ready for Thursday. Enough about me.

Thanksgiving is Thursday and it's time for us to lay down some ground rules. Here are the 20 do's & don'ts of Thanksgiving . . .

20. Check your ego. If you don't own the biggest house, you don't get to host Thanksgiving. If you don't make the best (insert dish here), you don't get to make it. Get over it.

19. Don't Expect People to Work Around Your Picky Eating Habits. We WILL understand if you don't eat pork, but that's about it.

18. Ask what is going to be on the menu before you arrive. You don't want a surprise vegetarian meal when you were expecting turkey, chicken and beef.

17. DON'T arrive to a potluck-style Thanksgiving dinner empty handed. Ask the host what you should bring. Even if they say nothing, bring SOMETHING.

16. Respect table assignments. If you didn't wanna sit at the kids table, you shouldn't have told people you're #TeamEdward.

15. Stick to your signature dish. Don't push it.

14. Line-up a plan B just in case the primary host makes people wait for the food. Don't feel guilty.

13. Make sure everyone knows who made the potato salad. Since some people "don't eat everyone's food" just make sure to tell who made what.

12. DON'T upload pics of your plate. No one wants to see your "food porn" anyway.

11. DON'T be afraid to turn "non-RSVPers" around AT.THE.DOOR. Tell 'em to take their non-RSVPing ass to Boston Market.

10. Don't make a big deal about breaking your diet. Everyone does it. No one cares.

9. DON’T arrive late and then be surprised when all the food is gone.

8. For hosts: make arrangements for guests to make to-go plates. Tell a non-cook to buy some styrofoam plates.

7. Don't make your to-go plate before everyone has eaten. That's just inconsiderate.

6. Help Clean up. Remember people who skip out on cleaning up don't get invited back for Christmas.

5. Appreciate the Experience. Appreciate the people you spend the holiday with even if you spend it with complete strangers.

4. Brainstorm about what you’re thankful for. Nobody likes the person who holds up Thanksgiving dinner because they can’t think of anything decent to share.

3. Don't be salty because no one touched your food. Work on your presentation.

2. Fully equip your host site. People WILL hate you if you run out of toilet paper.

1. Be thankful for everything you have. You have your eyesight, access to the internet and a sound mind to read this post.

Now that you have the rules, you have no excuse for cuttin up on Thursday. Did I miss any rules? What rules do you and your family follow for Thanksgiving? I'm listening.

Twitter: @LegallyRatchet1

Facebook: Talented Generation

Email: TalentedGeneration@gmail.com

PS. There will not be a post on Thursday. Regular posting will resume on Tuesday November 27.