“Battleship” looked so cool in the trailers and coming attractions.

Then I saw the film and felt bad for those who are about to plop down their hard-earned cash to see this silly and predictable film.

A cross between “The Transformers” and “Pearl Harbor,” “Battleship” sails into those cliché-infested waters only sci-fi hack writers seem to navigate.

I really don’t want to write a long-winded review when I can sum it all up for you (and save you some time as well) by saying every line from this film comes from somewhere else.

Look, I know you’re going to see it. And most likely defend the film by telling me the effects were cool (and they are)… but you’ll also somewhere and sometime have to admit there’s simply no story here. The film is a mess.
I’m sinking “Battleship” with a D+ it’s rated PG-13

“What to Expect When You’re Expecting” has a big cast. And I think that’s what’s mostly wrong with the film.

The movie switches and jumps from plot to plot so quickly the audience has a chance or the time to get to know, understand and like a character before the story moves on.

This was one of the many problems with “Valentines Day” and “New Year’s Eve,” simply too much going on that the audience is drained of any empathy for the film’s characters leaving them in an apathetic stupor.

There’s not enough meat on this bone to feed the storyline for this many couples.

I will give “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” credit for a few laughs, but in the end the film is just an average comedy.

It gets a C- and is rated PG-13

Actually the film is likeable although a bit over the top in places, But nothing more than I’d expect from Sacha Baron Cohen who stars as the spoiled dictator of a small Middle Eastern country.

What enhanced the film are the performances by Sir Ben Kingsley and Anna Faris. Both are well worth watching.

Overall “The Dictator” gets a B- and is rated R

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In Men in Black 3, Agents J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) are back… in time.

J has seen some inexplicable things in his 15 years with the Men in Black, but nothing, not even aliens, perplexes him as much as his wry, reticent partner.

But when K’s life and the fate of the planet are put at stake, Agent J will have to travel back in time to put things right.

J discovers that there are secrets to the universe that K never told him — secrets that will reveal themselves as he teams up with the young Agent K (Josh Brolin) to save his partner, the agency, and the future of humankind. The film is directed by Barry Sonnenfeld.

The screenplay is written by Etan Cohen, based on the Malibu Comic by Lowell Cunningham. The producers are Walter F. Parkes and Laurie MacDonald, and the executive producers are Steven Spielberg and G. Mac Brown.

“Dark Shadows” is based on the 60’s cult TV series of the same name. The big screen version stars Johnny Depp and is directed by Tim Burton.

In the late 1700’s a wealthy playboy named Barnabas Collins (Depp) has a torrid affair with a beautiful woman (Eva Green) in his employ. Unbeknownst to him she is a witch and when he scorns her, she turns him into a vampire.

Barnabas is captured and buried for centuries until he’s unearthed in the year 1972.

Although his craving for blood is strong, the bonds of family are stronger. So he sets off to help his now struggling descendants and get the family business back on track.

But low and behold the very witch he scorned 2 centuries earlier is now in the final stages of putting the Collins clan out of business for good.

Can Barnabas save his family?

Promoted as a comedy, “Dark Shadows” offers up some chuckles here and there but there really aren’t any big laughs in this confusing and schlocky mess. Nothing in this film seems to work as the film seems to keep shifting focus and plot points.

In a nutshell the film just doesn’t know what wants to be.

Even Johnny Depp seems weighed down by the heaviness of his dialogue and a lackluster script. The film just didn’t have the pacing, humor or character development needed for the audience to be engaged.

By the end of the film you simply don’t care what happens, you just want to leave.

Because I expect much better from Burton and Depp, “Dark Shadows” ends up with a D+

It is rated PG-13.

Short & Sweet – “The Avengers” gets an A

This will be quick.

“The Raven” is too silly to be enjoyed.

It gets a D and is rated R

In the new Aardman (Chicken Run & Wallace and Gromit) animated feature, “The Pirates: A Band of Misfits,” the infamous Pirate Captain (voiced by Hugh Grant) has his heart set on wining the Pirate of the Year Award. An award he has never won. in the process he teams up with Charles Darwin and battles Queen Victoria.

“The Pirates: A Band of Misfits” is a droll and dry comedy but the animation and Aardman touch make the film better than expected.

It gets a C+ and is rated PG

“The Lucky One” is based on the best-selling book by Nicholas Sparks and stars Zac Efron as “Logan,” an Iraq war veteran searching for the woman in a photo he found during a battle.

He finds her in a small town and boy does she need his help and understanding.

Look, there’s really no need to go on with any more plot description, it’s a chick movie and guys (if you’re in a relationship) you’re just going to have to bite down on something hard and go.

It’s not that “The Lucky One” is a bad film. It does have some OK moments. But to get to those moments you have to climb over just about every cliché in chick flick movie history.

So as a sentimental, romantic, discover yourself and have a good cry doing it film… it gets a B. It’s rated PG-13.

To The Arctic is a documentary following a family of polar bears on their incredible migration through the frozen arctic wilderness.

Although the film has a few problems with staying on task, “To The Arctic” boasts some exceptional photography and is a wonderful film to take the family to.

The film gets a B+ and is rated G.