tanya's (re)invention

Thoughts on Leadership

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 02 May 2013 21:06:00 +0000

Leadership is one of the most searched terms in Google. Countless books have been written on the subject.

This is about what leadership means to me.

When I look back on my life to find the first acknowledgment of leadership, outside of my parents or family, the school playground comes to mind. Recess.

Remember the kid that got a game of dodge ball together? Or the one that started ‘red rover, red rover’? That’s leadership in its most basic form, someone following another’s lead.

In my opinion, leadership is a personal acknowledgment that being of service to others is a greater purpose than serving yourself. Leadership is a desire to see someone else accomplish a thing that they didn’t think they could accomplish.

Leadership is part art and part science. Leadership lives in the gray matter, it doesn’t know boundaries. Leadership is not about knowing the answers but about asking the right questions, in the right way.

Leadership is helping another person, team, department or group find the answers, solutions, products, process, etc that exists within themselves.

Leadership is being comfortable in the silence, thereby allowing space and room for others to grow.

The likelihood of me looking back on this 20 years from now and laughing hysterically is about 99.9%. Leadership evolves.

My 6-word memoir about leadership: helps others lead a better life

My favorite video about leadership is by Derek Sivers TED2010. Enjoy.

Making it to 80

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 21:17:00 +0000

I’m so fortunate to hang out with a tribe of friends and mentors that are right smack dab in the middle of their personal and professional sweet spot, at the intersection of their passion and how they make a living. Peeps like Phil Yanov, Russ Davis, and Natalie and Kamran Popkin. Let’s be honest, it’s rare, if we’re lucky we’re heading in that direction or even know what direction that is, right? Obviously, I’ve still a ways to travel on this journey…

Another one of these rare individuals is Travis Runion. It was pure accident that we met. He was sent over to take a head shot of me at the request of a friend. Let’s just say it’s the only picture I’ve ever really liked of myself and I use it everywhere. Based on that experience with him I asked him to create a video for me of the Super Bowl experience I was a part of so that I could share the pictures and videos with the whole group that went that year; another exceptional experience. Next, I hired him for several events at work, everything from photography and troubleshooting equipment to videography, production and websites. His work is simply amazing. Travis has a unique eye and viewpoint that he brings to his work and his professionalism is exceptional.

I recently learned of a new project Travis is working on, interviewing 80 people that are 80 years or older. My mother just turned 80 in September and I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get a video of her and this is perfect! Since it’s a ‘project’ he’s doing then it’s not necessarily me asking her to do it, so she said yes. I’m so pleased with the result that I want to share an excerpt of Betty Thompson. My mother is the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met, she’s my hero and I want to be just like her when I group up…err, wait, I am just like her, well almost, it’s a work in progress.

If you have a parent or grandparent that you would like to capture on video, here’s your chance and Travis Runion is your guy. My mother just loved working with him and trust me, she’s a tough cookie, if she thinks you’re an idiot, she’ll just tell you ‘you’re an idiot.’ She’s not always for public consumption. She shines like the gem she is in this shoot. Cheers.

ps I have it on good authority that there is a mastermind group in Greenville, SC that urged Travis to get started on this project. If you're stuck, a group like this may be of assistance and I hear a new session is starting asap.

just vote

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 00:51:00 +0000

disclaimer: this is written for me and I don't recommend you read it, really, you should just stop here and watch a rerun of storage wars or something

How about a little understanding?

If you've ever taken Myers Briggs, on the scale for tolerance, I'm off the chart, so there's that. With all of this political banter and people being so 'one way or another', I'm a moderate, in the middle, can really see and understand many points of both sides and I don't get hot headed about it. I mean, when does getting hot headed work anyway? (we won't go there, yeah, I've done it, but it wasn't about politics).

Look, I believe our system is broken. I believe our politicians become too incredibly wealthy and powerful, and pretty much set for life with thousands of perks, just by representing the vast majority of non-wealthy americans. And I believe that is wrong. It has to change. I believe that change starts locally and by demanding authentic and real leadership at the local level, the state level and on up.

Why are we still discussing abortion every election season?

I cannot believe that abortion is still under discussion as a reason to choose a President. Really? And people are choosing a President based on that one factor when a thousand other factors impact our day to day lives considerably. When you sign up to work for a corporation, do you ask the CEO whether he's pro-choice or pro-life? Do you wonder if the owner of the restaurant you frequent is pro-choice or pro-life? What about everything that we buy that is Made in China? Last I checked, they kill babies, especially girls, for being born in China, they're certainly not pro-life. Isn't that more 'close to home' important than this 1 individual in charge for 4 years at a time that is charged with leading the free world? Instead of hating each other based on this one viewpoint, why not volunteer at a clinic, become a foster parent, anything but add another bumper sticker to your car, well, because, that really helps no one.

Look, I'm not saying it's right or wrong, the good Lord knows where we all stand on this subject. I'm saying that I believe it's not my place to tell another woman what she should do with her life. That decision is between her and God. We all sin and one sin is not greater than the other. I appreciate each religions view on the subject, but people, we've got to tackle this in a different way. What was happening before roe v wade wasn't a solution, with women dying from improper procedures, infection and trying to do what they felt they needed to do through illegal means. We can't go back there, that's not a solution.

I'm totally perplexed as to why this topic splits our country, like a wedge that splits wood, and often decides a presidency. This country was founded on religious freedom. Don't we all realize they tell us what we want us to hear anyway? What they think will get them the most votes? That's what I think. I think they've all tiptoed that issue to death and the real solution is to get involved locally and help on either side in person as best you can (that does not mean to stand in front of a clinic and scream at women driving up or blowing up doctors offices, seriously, someone thinks that is a solution?). I believe we should find a way to touch lives in a meaningful way in your community on this subject and help others, regardless which way you side on this issue.

Let's take action and do more about drug addiction and abandonment and take care of the children that need our care and attention, there are hundreds of thousands that need our help. If we spend more time doing that, I believe that God will understand we saw a greater purpose in the lives that we could personally impact. I mean, the bible I was taught and read says that our God is an understanding God.

Am I better off now than I was 4 years ago?

No, I'm not better off than I was 4 yrs ago. Not even close. My Canadian company left the US, selling off all assets in this country except one. In large part due to our government and its policies. Fortunately, I was able to find a job, a great job, but at a 55% pay cut. Not exactly prosperity. I've watched my 401k dwindle and limp along for the past 4 yrs, after losing over 50% of it in 2008/2009. I was lucky enough that my corporation paid a severance, but I had to pay unbelievable taxes for 2011 because of that, taxes that made me choke…and I'm not close to what they consider the top of the middle class threshold. But I will get there and surpass it and probably get a tax break. Why does that make any sense?

Mortgage assistance is a joke, I've been to the front lines on this.

I won't bore you with the mortgage train wreck I'm in. My bankrupt builder finished out a $145k townhouse neighborhood with $100k townhomes, right before he cancelled our insurance policies without telling us (Thank You Eastwood Homes). I will likely never see my home regain its value and I can't refinance. I'm too 'underwater' for the Obama administration incentives to banks to work and make just ever so slightly, by the tiniest of margins, too much for the 'other' Obama administration fixes and incentives. I just hope the past 4 yrs have been better to all of you. Do I think the Romney administration will make this better? No, I do not. There are too many people in the exact position I'm in to help us all. We will pay for the Real Estate bubble that we helped create. Period. There is no free lunch.

What about all the other stuff?

I'm a registered Republican and I'm an independent woman. I believe in Global Warming. I believe we need to take much better care of our planet or pay dire consequences. I believe in a flat tax, we should all pay the same percent and get rid of all the loop holes. I believe in a lot of things that don't make sense to a lot of people, and that's what is so great about being an American, I can believe these things and still be a citizen and do stupid things like post this on a blog for anyone to read and dig up in 20 years to hold it against me, after I've changed my mind and run for President. (just seeing if you're awake)

I have never voted party lines just because of what I registered to be when I was 18. I vote for the person, the person that is closest to the leadership I can live with for that period of time. Closest to the issues that I believe are most critical at that time. Bless me, my first vote was cast for Ross Perot in my first election. I loved his straight forward charts, I could actually understand what he was talking about. Yes, it can be that simple when you're not trying to screw the majority of the population out of their paychecks every week. But please don't judge me on that one vote, I was 18 and ever so slightly naive.

The problem with out Government...

My problem is the policies of our current government, all of the parties, seem to be to pad their own pockets be damned the 'people' and that has absolutely got to change starting with our local government. Our politicians make too much money, get too many perks at our expense for their lifetime and these things must change. I know that Obama and his administration did not create this, this goes way back to day 1, but it's time for a new generation to change the 'government' mindset. I'm certain neither person elected as President tomorrow will make this change or be able to make any difference, but one is an expert in turning around businesses in trouble and one is not. Our school system has to change beginning with children at birth and the way students are 'tested' and schools are 'graded' or we'll never be the nation we once were. Again, this begins locally with our school boards and being active in our communities, not with the President. When I learned that prisons are built based on 3rd Grade reading scores, I cried. These things have to change to turn our nation around. It really does start with the littlest of children. We have a lot of work to do as a nation.

It's time to get busy...

Stealing a phrase from Brene Brown, my favorite TED talk(er), we are the most 'drugged' nation ever, we take more prescription drugs, pain killers and narcotics than we ever have and more than any other nation. It's time we stopped numbing ourselves against the pain that we feel and get to work in our neighborhoods, our cities and our counties. It simply starts on our streets. What can I do to help someone else? It's time for our country to grow up and take charge. It's time for us to turn off the television and read more history books. When TV can show reruns of storage buildings being sold off and someone is actually watching that junk, it's time to do something else with our lives. When companies can benefit from us watching someone's car being repossessed on TV and that's okay, that's a sign that something has gone terribly wrong and we need to get out from in front of the TV. You're better off spending your time picking up garbage on the nearest street than watching the crap we're fed on TV. I believe that if we all spent more time giving of ourselves and our time to others, it would elevate the whole country and maybe motivate our politicians to get back to work for the greater good of all of us.

The vote.

My vote will reflect my personal experiences under the policies of the past 4 years. Did Obama walk into a mess? Yes, yes he did. Did he fulfill the promises he made that I thought were important to me? No, no he didn't. Could any of it been accomplished in 4 years? No, probably not.

I hope we have the biggest voter turnout that this country has ever seen. What a privilege to be able to cast a vote. What an honor to be able to make a choice and have these beliefs without being put in jail or worse, killed for them. Regardless of who wins the election and becomes our President, he will have my full support and prayers. After all, I need our President to perform exceptionally well. I don't want wars fought in my city or my nephew being blown up overseas somewhere in the service of our country or mega storms closing down our shores or the 'Madoffs' of the world taking our hard earned money or crazy people making nuclear bombs or hackers stealing our account numbers. Our President has a lot of work to do and he needs our support, not a request for a handout, not a request for a free lunch or free healthcare or a free reduction in mortgage interest rates (don't waste your time). He needs us to hit the streets and help one another...

We have to work our way back to prosperity, we have to earn and learn our way back to being a global leader and a leading country that others can look up to. We have to teach our children how to think critically, not how to pass a multiple choice and true/false test. If we don't, who will?

If you made it this far, well, damn glad to meet you, my name is Tanya and whether or not you agree with me, that's okay, we each have our own opinions and I'd be happy to read yours as well and who knows, you might change my mind on a topic. Is there anything I can do to help you?

trust me

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 17:57:00 +0000

Just Do It and Trust Me.

Have you ever fell for that line? Yeah, me neither.

This thing we do at the Center for Corporate Learning at Clemson at the Falls, like Leadership Summit, forever changed me, fortunately, it doesn't have that effect on everybody, or does it? It became abundantly clear to me that I didn't want to end up at age XX with nothing more than a string of paychecks to prove that I was on this planet. Don’t get me wrong, I like paychecks, lots of them, very large ones and it’s even better when they arrive very often…but I digress.

Fortunately, a trusted mentor, Phil Yanov, recommended this little Progoff class to me last year (details are at the bottom). He's brilliant and I didn't question his suggestion (I think you'll find a link to his awesomeness over to the right, yeah over there). It says journaling in the title, but this isn't like your grandma's journal or the one you read that your Sister kept under lock and key. It's more like 52 counseling sessions, 52 church services, 100 days of running and at least 24 happy hours with your best friend compiled into an 11 hour session, a few hours on Friday night and the daylight hours on Saturday. No, I don't do this daily; I hope to get to do it once a year, that's why Phil and I brought it to Greenville and closer to our friends and colleagues in this area.

It's a chance to level set and good questions like where am I, where am I going, what's working, what could work better, what's out there for me that I haven't even noticed yet and that road I didn't take last year, is there anything down that road that still has purpose and meaning today? All the things that tribe leaders should be keenly aware of.

Yeah, it covers all of that and more. This is a very private, non-networking, professionally guided session that is like setting goals on steroids (and you don't share any of it with anyone, this is a private journey taken amongst a room full of people doing this task at the same time, there is power and support in that, even in privacy).

Bottom line: I highly recommend it.

It's straight up pen to paper, no tablets, typing is not the same and many people draw parts of it in addition to or instead of writing.

It's an introverts dream and an extroverts challenge, quietly writing your life, without judgment, just the facts, using a trusted method that often ends with a breakthrough, something you've had in the back of your mind, a new idea, an innovation, a better plan, whatever, has the chance to come out and dance in front of you...talk about rare.

Join us this Fall, if you're ready, if it makes sense, and I promise, you'll have so much more to be thankful for when the end of November rolls around.

Details: November 16^th (3:15pm to 9:15pm) and 17th (9am to 6pm)

http://journalforlife.eventbrite.com

Cheers.

coastal resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 23:21:00 +0000

rang in the new year, "in the year of our lord, two thousand and twelve" to quote sue at russell's in murrell's inlet, on the coast. the most beautiful weather i've ever experienced at the beach, it was blue skies, amazing sunrises and sunsets and a balmy 65 degrees the entire stay.

i took work with me, the sticky work, business plans, goals, resolutions...all the lists i like to write and keep. didn't touch them. that's the beauty of it. kept technology at a minimum. toasted with friends. indulged in delicious food and libations. laughed a lot. reflected. imagined an amazing 2012. here's hoping you did too. and if you happen to be in town, murrell's inlet, sc, i have to recommend burgers at bubba's love shack and captain dave's bahama mama chartered cruise around the inlet. you will not be disappointed. cheers for a happy & healthy 2012.

m.i.p.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:08:00 +0000

mastery.independence.purpose.

these aren't my words, obviously. thanks to Daniel Pink and several other, it's a way of life for me now or rather a quest. in search of all 3 at the same damn time. not an easy task. two out of three is easy enough and pays the bills. but all 3 at the same time? mecca and slightly out of reach for me at the moment. but i'm doing to work to get there. and boy does it take sacrifice. and boat loads full of other stuff that causes me to whine and drink wine.

so here I sit, listening to a little Vince Guaraldi to help calm my anxiety and help put me in the Christmas spirit. anxiety? yeah, about to head into my final cumulative MBA exam for which i am ill prepared. i hate cumulative exams and why they do this to working professional MBA's is beyond me. in the real world you have resources and people, cumulative doesn't just sneak up on you like this. this class in decision modeling has been a thorn in my side since day one. a painful experience in excel. counting hotdogs for a blowout game, lollipops to make, routes to take...and it blows. i am so much of a gray scale decision maker, this black and white all tied up in rows and columns is just not what i'm about. it's not what i aspire to be either. give me gut any day of the week.

so back to m.i.p. it's a powerful story and it's mine and i love it. i left mastery and independence for independence and purpose and i'm not quite sure what 'mastery' level looks exactly like in this new role? is it all sales? or is it helping people be damned the sell? sale/sell, whatever.

i like to help people. i like to help business people. for whatever reason you're in business, it's always a good story. and if you're building your tribe and trying to be a better leader, that's what i want to help you with. now that's getting me closer to mecca.

so we have a new name...Center for Corporate Learning. it's an 'i'm all grown up' kind of name, but i love it, it nails my market and points a finger right at you business leaders that have the business cancer i have a cure for (not me specifically, but the ability for me to take your need and match it to our resources). we got a lot of resources.

t minus 60 minutes to final exam. i just hope i don't spend all 3 hours giving this professor daggers. it's not her fault that she doesn't know how to grade any other way, really. i've offered a few suggestions for future classes, but it's not going to help me now. and i'm not at all jealous at the 50% of the class that exempted this beast...not.at.all. (that's a lie).

so, slay this beast, get the grade, whatever it may be and move on. get the groove on the holidays, plan for a rockin' 2012 for the Center for Corporate Learning and focus on the 'mastery' target...focus.plan.do.the.work. that's simple enough, right?

happy holidays to the both of you that read this, if you're still around. cheers.

reinvention. really?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 02:24:00 +0000

what was I thinking? this reinvention stuff is hard. reinvention is stupid. i promised a funny post, well this isn’t going to be that one. i’d rather whine with wine for now.

okay, okay, so it’s not that bad (sobs in the background).

learning new things, new office space, new concepts, new hierarchy’s in an organization is interesting. in my old world, i was an expert. i didn’t consider myself an expert, but 15 to 20 years of experience in the same field of study lends itself to expert status. answering questions and making decisions in my old world was as natural and easy to me as brushing my teeth.

in my new world, i made 32L of coffee my first week, carrying it from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor & was barely capable of doing it. not so much of an expert in my new world, to say the least.

this new world requires creative thought & strategy and managing the land mines of academia, whatever that means. i’m not real good at managing land mines, keeping sacred cows and the like. i like to blow up the status quo, roast the sacred cows (literally, have you heard of 2011 Bovinova?), challenge the way things have always been done, you know the type…the type you hate the first day they show up to work.

that’s me, party of one, all alone in the corner…for now.

lucky for me the band of #instigators have supported me this week and held my self esteem afloat.

hopefully, during my second week, people will see me as the fun-loving, hard-working, perfectionist…no, wait, not that one…damn perfectionism…hopefully, they’ll see me as the fun-loving, hard-working, let’s all do this together and it doesn’t have to be THAT perfect to roast it like the sacred cow it is…uh oh, looks like I’m in trouble for the second week too.

oh well, this reinvention will happen, it may not all be blogged and slogged or vlogged or whatever, but parts of it will be roasted, to a nice medium rare & served with a delicious red. reinvention is not stupid, it's necessary. cheers.

Voluntary Separation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 21:15:00 +0000

i’ve never been good at Voluntary Separation. i’m one of those people that Brene Brown talks about in her TED talk that love wholeheartedly, knowing that something is not going to end well, and doing it anyway. until i listened to her talk (thanks to a tweep that recommended it after reading an earlier post) i just thought i was genetically faulty, that a DNA linked to the heart or the brain was a little ‘off’ kilter when it came to things of this nature.

when i try to think back at any point in my life where i voluntary separated myself from someone or something (unprovoked), it becomes clear to me that it takes a pretty strong action, rather a forceful provoking, for me to separate myself (and then watch out, cause i cut those ties pretty drastically at that point). even back in Elementary School, i was alone in a crush over a boy or six, whatever…no separating from that, i’ll just crush alone from over here at this desk where i can keep an eye on all of you (can a 4^th grader be a stalker?).

last week my employer of 15 years offered us the opportunity to Voluntarily Separate our employment earlier than our close date, which is yet to be finalized. an opportunity that will help some people accept positions with other organizations while positions are available or for other personal reasons. i thought it was a very gracious and honorable offer.

the act of volunteering for it, much much different than i ever expected. heart broken is what i was. you see, we’ve had a marriage. it’s seen its good days & its bad days and like any marriage we’ve had our spats, the anniversaries were fun, the babies (products, projects, wowing customers, etc…) we’ve produced have been fun to watch grow. and now, with a simple email, it all comes to an end on February 28^th. in my MBA Organizational Behavior class, they call this ‘marriage’ a Behavioral Contract. i never minded working a lot, late nights, Friday’s, whatever. i knew i was responsible for something bigger than myself and i not only enjoyed it but i thrived in it.

i don’t know if its good or bad to Voluntarily Separate ourselves from people or places or organizations, it’s likely neither, but just is. i’m certainly not an expert.

i just know that i was able to take a step in a totally different direction this month. make a choice that i never thought possible. and after the little bit of heartbreak, i’m okay and looking forward to the next adventure just around the corner. just like the rest of us i suspect. one step at a time, sometimes it’s a corner, sometimes it’s a wall, but either way, we gotta keep stepping…thanks to Tim for that reminder.

Tim March www.timstvs.com does this awesome talk about the Hero Story. there’s a hero in all of us and regarding any obstacle, just step around it or on top of it or stand there moving your feet, either way, until you find that its no longer an obstacle.

when faced with what we consider to be an obstacle, given enough time and movement, something always changes: your heart, your head or your direction.

i promise the next post will have you laughing so hard you pee your pants, even if i have to get someone else to write it. cheers.

for the one-up(er)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 00:12:00 +0000

gratitude is weighing heavy on me. i’m so grateful. the laundry list of people and actions and happenings and things i am grateful for seem endless to me. the thought of having to list it all seems a dauntless task.

someone who does not even know me has done something for me and given me something that i will never, ever be able to pay back for as long as i live. that’s rare for me and it’s really bothering me (and it bothers me that it bothers me).

i’m a one-up(er) girl. you got that, right? you do something for me and the next thing you know i’m one-upping you and i will try to one-up you for as long as you try to give to me. i’m sure it’s a clinical illness, we won’t go there.

i can’t one-up this one. so, here I sit with my gratitude trying to figure out how i’m going to say 'thank you' for the most unbelievable life experience i can imagine. how do i say ‘thank you’ for a once in a lifetime opportunity? this person checked 2 items off my bucket list and it was done with the ease of asking me if i would like a glass of water. i am still in disbelief.

it all started as a series of events on twitter. this domino effect has made a really positive profound difference in my life and in the lives of those i love around me. i’ve tried to trace back to the exact moment the connections were made or track back to where these events actually started.

of course i tried, if you read the last post or know me at all, you know i failed again and wasted time on trying to research the details, the dates, the times, the numbers. i finally stopped (remembering i’m not going to do that any longer for the 98^th time this year). the beauty of this story is not found in those details.

i’m not even sure i can call it a story, i certainly haven’t been able to tell it coherently to anyone. it’s a series of events that have connected several lives in such a way that we are all different now because we know each other and there’s no going back to the point where we were not all connected. you see what i mean?

it started on twitter but it jumped to IRL (thanks to @swagclub for the daily reminders of living in the real not the webs). twitter was just the catalyst that brought us together IN REAL LIFE.

now we are all headed on a journey together, literally for a few of us and figuratively for all of us. it’s exciting, it’s refreshing, it’s instigating & it’s a significantly positive experience (unless you're vegetarian, wait, wrong blog post).

so, here’s to gratitude and being fortunate enough to experience something that is bigger than you can fathom and here’s to living in real life.

if by the chance you read this, yeah, you, the one, the one-up(ers) of all one-up(ers), i’ll forever be grateful and in your debt. whatever you need, no matter the day or time, i’ll be there. thank you. cheers!

near death (does not equal) death

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 00:54:00 +0000

people talk about 'near death' experiences (NDE's) all the time, really, they can be quite common. to me a near death experience (NDE) is like slipping and almost falling off the Grand Canyon (but not), accidentally parking your car in a river & swimming out, underwater diving with sharks, the first parachute doesn't open, but the second one does, etc...

i think death experiences are a bit different. i had a death experience (DE). in the middle of having a gallbladder full of stones removed before thanksgiving (probably not a coincidence), i flatlined. as in my heart stopped, on its own, for what I was told was almost a solid minute. i don't know if that means 45 seconds or 58 seconds and there were a few days in my life where I wanted to know exactly...but I let that go, which leads me to the rest of this story.

please understand, i've always been a person that is all about the numbers, the stats, the years, the number signs and the dollar signs, the percentages. i've essentially priced mortality or reviewed mortality expectations of individuals for most of my adult life. this didn't just happen to someone that didn't understand the percentages (who makes it, who doesn't, how many seconds it takes, how many chest compressions are required, the odds, etc...).

so i am released to come home on thanksgiving day. my research begins immediately after i catch up on much needed sleep you can't get in a hospital. i woke up and picked up a laptop. you gotta love google. its a numbers keepers dream.

you know i learned it all. there is debate, medically, on my odds, statistically speaking. needless to say the answers I was looking for would not be found in google (you won't hear me say that often).

so i closed the lid on the laptop. after all that research it was as if The Maker (thank you @swagclub for sharing this term with me), the Good Lord above, Father Mother Earth, or whatever you call him or her in your life, said to me, and i quote loosely (it wasn't audible) "look girl, get busy on living your life, be happy, drink the good wine, wear your fancy shoes (what are you saving anything for?), love abundantly (with a capital A) & please stop all that worry you do about the numbers (and i mean all of them). do what makes your heart happy. bottom line, be good. do good. be happy. love a lot."

now i would love to say its been real easy for me to do this since then, but it has not been easy. this simple task, call to action: be good. do good. be happy. love all things. is a daily battle that i don't always win (please, it feels like never win, but i've stopped counting, remember?). and so it is in all of our lives i suppose...or maybe its just me.

great news is, every single second that ticks on the clock gives me (us, whatever) the opportunity to change our direction, our thoughts, all that damn worry, our lives, our revolutions, our actions, our relationships (the list goes on and on). so there's that. every second counts and every second presents a new opportunity.

its not likely i'll win my battle any time soon. but its a fight i'm willing to be in. after all, i made it this far. probably for reasons bigger than i can comprehend. i like to think so. and so it is with all of us.

thanks to the writings of John Warner, the leadership of & discussions with Phil Yanov & Kamran Popkin for the inspiration to pour out these thoughts on paper, i mean blog, whatever it is, you know what i mean (ykwim).

think about your seconds. i'll be thinking about mine. losing sometimes, winning others. but that's okay, i'm drinking the good stuff & wearing the fancy shoes & lovin on those around me & those that i wish were closer. cheers.

resolution? or revolution?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 20:22:00 +0000

i choose revolution every damn day of the week (just ask @swagclub, he started it).

i hate resolutions…i like to change my mind too much to be THAT resolute…and this diet I’ve been on, well, it’s a bit of a lifestyle problem…a resolution isn’t going to change it…but a revolution just might do the trick.

this post was conceived on the 1^st, so i’m going to write it as if its still the 1^st. my attempt on the 1^st failed due to one of the most expensive hotels in Atlanta charging $12.95 for internet access. i had my MiFi with me, mainly because i like telling people i’m a mobile hot spot, but it was wayyyyyy across the room buried in the suitcase of a bag i carry & i was too cozy (or is that lazy) all wrapped in down and recovering from the previous night to move to find it.

no one is reading this anyway, certainly there is nothing here that is pressing, so i stayed put with no regrets. besides, my two friends that read this weren’t awake either & probably couldn’t read anything until today anyway (girls, don’t panic, didn’t mention any names (yet), for the love).

now, back to The Ritz (@RitzCarlton). my personal opinion is, if you are going to charge $499 a night for a room (not that i personally paid for this room, but i’m in the ball park for many of their rooms on the lower floors) then i think you should throw in a little wi-fi. if Starbucks can do it, certainly The Ritz can? right? i will take that up with them. is that revolutionary? no, but it’s a start, a small statement, a suggestion…really? you are still charging your precious guests that pay “OMG rates” for wi-fi? in 2011, charging extra for wi-fi? for the love…

…which leads me to exclusivity. i’m going to pretend i’m talking purely about myself, but in reality you should know i’m not & when i say i, i mean you too, like exclusive stuff (insert whatever does it for you in place of the word stuff). being an insider in a world of outsiders feels good, you know i’m speaking the truth. i (and you too) love to feel special (and that means the chocolate on the pillow, it doesn’t take much, right?). i mean, when a waiter brings me a black napkin to exchange my white one because i’m wearing black (my signature color), i fall all over myself, and yeah, your tip will be huge just because of that…and if you have that rare cigar i can’t find anywhere else and no one else has one, yep, i’ll take two…can’t afford lunch tomorrow, but i’ll take both of ‘em. i have issues, right?

me & my plumber spent New Years in Atlanta. buckhead to be specific. there’s this really cool cigar shop (@buckheadcigar) we wanted to visit that I’ve connected with on Twitter. it made our trip, this little spot! if you enjoy cigars, you must visit them & their humidor.

so, back to exclusivity. their smoking lounge is long and narrow. the ‘nice’ table is the big round one in the back with the view. so, where does the plumber want me to sit while he continues to peruse the humidor? you got it, “get that big round table in the back, honey”…please, now he knows that’s for the members, the real ones, not the out-of-towners (and out-of-place ones at that). reason? that table screams “exclusive”, “members only”…”big boy, you got to be something extra darn special to sit in these here chairs” exclusive. we were promptly and kindly reminded of our place as visitors, treated wonderfully still, at a rectangular table somewhere in the middle. treated exceptionally well, twitter family, us band of out-of-towners.

our plans for new years? find this exclusive little jazz club slash speakeasy place, where you have to have an extra special 10 digit code number to get in. and i wasn’t the only one, you should have seen the line outside of that phone booth…not everyone had the number (and how did they find that phone booth anyway?). but we did.

i’ve never really used the old timey phone booths classic to London, but since i have seen one in person before (in London, on my way to The Ritz no doubt and this is my first pic on this post and I don't know how to wrap the text, sorry), my plumber shoved me in and shut the door so I could dial (the old fashioned way with the finger in the hole) the number…

voila! the number works, i shove open the back of the phone booth as a big ole heavy door and bam, we're in…

Prohibition, the name of the place.

now, let’s be honest, they’re in the business of making money, right? there was no sign for this place, a street address was used for 18 other clubs in a strip mall-ish type place and this phone booth is near the emergency exit at the back, downstairs, in the back of another club…it doesn’t scream “this is the coolest cigar friendly, rare drink, we use ice picks to make our own ice out of blocks in front of you & we have the best short ribs on the planet” kinda place, or does it?

the large cozy leather couches were nice, the amber lit ceiling, the rare prescriptions (aka cocktails) were all great (and the company I was with is what totally made the whole nite, we could have been huddled over a fire lit drum & it would have been wonderful), but what drove us there was that damn secret code to get in & that phone booth we had to find…exclusive.

this place reminded me of this little club where i’m an instigator (#14.5), there are several of us, spread out, now, all over the country, we use the #instigators hashtag on twitter. it’s an exclusive lil tribe & when i talk about it to strangers, they want in…they don’t even know what this is all about, but the minute i say “i’m in a club, i can’t talk about it, it’s not for everyone and it’s quite expensive” its as if i gave them their first bite of real sugar they’ve ever had & they’re hooked and they want more.

our lil tribe leader (@swagclub) started a revolution against @crapswag and landfills full of meaningless swag a while ago, and the exclusivity of this little club sucked me in hook, line and sinker…i bit, i wanted more…so i find myself brandjacking stuff with the @swagclub logo and wanting to tell companies (tiny and huge, like The Ritz) how they should try to connect with the people they love on a more personal level, like ‘i’m gonna make you feel special, because without you i couldn’t feed my family…my product is great, of course, but here’s a token to remind you of our relationship and how much you mean to me & maybe it will help you be more creative and innovative in what you are passionate about’, kinda swag…

…so back to the revolution. i’m revolting against working for someone that could care less about who i am, what i’m passionate about or purchasing services and products from someone when they don’t feel the need to connect with me as a customer...

which leads me to the worst idea ever…i’m done with fast food…i’ve seen my last drive-thru (the one exception is coffee, for now)…food served in a bag is garbage for the body and should not be eaten. if i’m in a hurry, road trip, i don’t care where it is, my fat ass will get out of the car, walk into a grocery store and find a healthier choice or do without…without being the key word (i just heard my plumber hit the floor, this will kill him but it will be great for both of us). drink more water, eat less garbage…that should take care of any kind of resolution I would ever come up with & help me with my own mini-revolution against garbage for my soul…the kind you eat and the other kind you don’t, if you know what i mean.

i’ve mentioned several people in this post, they’re all much smarter than me, they have blog posts that people actually read, where real information is shared…i recommend @swagclub, listed under “Blogs I Read”. if you want to know more about how a revolution is run, go there…i’m just a follower…but don’t be mistaken, it’s a revolution.

my sweet plumber is @kensplumbing, he is the picky peoples plumber, running his own revolution against plumbers that don't stand behind their work, against people in his profession not doing the right thing for the people they love. his sweet heart can divine water, fix any plumbing issue, big or small, and design the most amazing shower you have ever experienced, The Ritz should consult with him on how to build a shower for the guests they love...just a suggestion...but seriously, you should consult...after you fix the wi-fi problem, of course.

my very first post

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 07:19:00 +0000

really, they let just anybody do this? like all things social, I'm a dive-right-in kind of chick, mistakes will be made. if you made it this far, thanks.

i have this affinity for lists, so it's natural for me to start with one for my very first post.

a few truths (or dares) I learned over the 2010 holidays

1. the status of our health is important, work at well-being, it's time well spent (outside of a hospital)

2. gifts are not important, acts of service is what it's all about & not just during Christmas, but especially during Christmas

3. the amount of baking you do will be proportionate to the size of your ass the day after Christmas...lots of baking, lots of ass

4. follow your heart & if it seems to be out of whack, lock yourself in the bathroom until you can talk to your family like a sane person

5. a double-dog dare is not as big as a triple-dog dare & any action beginning with 'watch this' should be a video for YouTube, then a website, then a book, then a movie...cha-ching. seriously? dare me, you won't see a video here.

6. when you refer to your best friend as 'that hooker' your Mom will not understand, ever

and if you are still awake at this point, I'm impressed, like you, i hope this gets better with age, wine or shine