However, I’ve never been able to see him live.

Until now.

I’m depressed that Nine Inch Nails is going away. Although he’s said it’s just “for awhile,” his actions have been speaking loudly and they say it’s going to be for a VERY long time, if not forever. Trent may be retiring. I knew that if I wanted to see him, this would be the time to do it. I mentioned briefly to J how badly I wanted to see him but how difficult and expensive finding good tickets would be. He agreed and went back to his computer. An hour later he sat next to me and showed me what he had gotten: 12th row tickets to see the last tour NIN may ever perform, the NIN/JA Tour, at the Frank Erwin Center in Austin, Texas.

I’m dying over here. I can’t WAIT for May so I can finally see Trent live. You are all jealous. Yes, you are.

In other news, you may have noticed a change in lunsh.net. I’m thinking of changing my blog and portfolio around. I know this sucks for the few people who have actually subscribed to my feed, but I promise this change will most likely be permanent (no more moving around after this). I don’t know yet. We’ll see. I’ll let you guys know.

So, I picked him up from school and we swung by my apartment to get some supplies, then we walked to his place and then to the grocery story to buy some cheese for the salad and potatoes. It was beautiful last night - 75 degrees, sunny, just perfect. Texas often sucks when it comes to weather, but sometimes it’s really, really good. And those are the days that you spend outside.

And also, making food with friends is amazing and excellent. We invited J and My Roommate to come along, and so we had a feast outside - homemade potato chips and fries, salad with blue cheese and sunflower seeds, springtime cupcakes, and white wine. It’s something you can only do when the weather gets warm.

I don’t mean to rub it in to everyone who doesn’t live in a) Texas b) California c) Florida, or d) Southern Hemisphere, but as soon as the weather gets warm, get your friends and go have a picnic outside. I mean it. It’s amazing.

That said, Spring Break is upon us. Austin’s spring break always occurs during sxsw. Because duh. J and I decided to spend the first few days going on an adventure to our neighboring city, San Antonio! Now, I’ve been to San Antonio a few times to visit a friend and for a Dragonforce concert, but I’ve never done any of the touristy things, like the Alamo and the Riverwalk. J’s done a few things but he barely remembers it and we both were just itching to get out of town for a couple days.

The first thing we did was head to Six Flags: Fiesta Texas. It was a ton of fun. We were promised chilly and rain, and although the morning was a bit dreary it ended up being 70 and sunny, so it all worked out. It was also really crowded, but we were able to ride two roller coasters, the carousel (on my insistence - we were the only adults without kids on it but it was way fun!), and the swinging ship. We also spent a lot of time walking around, we watched some people line dancing (much to my Northern amazement - how did half the audience know the steps to the dance?), and we bought a funnel cake and didn’t finish it. It was a ton of fun after it warmed up. We also decided to buy season passes so we can go back another few times, preferably on a weekday during 100 degree heat to avoid the crowds.

At about six on Saturday we left Six Flags and checked into the hotel. It was nice and we were absolutely exhausted. We unpacked our bags and turned on the TV just in time to watch the Discovery launch! It was incredible, if anyone caught it. Then we were off again downtown to grab some food.

Here’s the weird thing about San Antonio. Not only is it confusing as anything to drive there, but there’s also two restaurants. Two. We must have driven the entire city because we were so lost and we didn’t see a single other restaurant. Austin, on the other hand, has a restaurant or a bar or a cafe every other building. It was very weird to have to actively search to find a restaurant, because in Austin you can’t go two feet without tripping over one. And, as a consequence, the wait for one of the restaurants was an hour and a half, and the wait for the other one was thirty-five minutes. We went with the second one.

The food was pretty good. The place was called La Margarita. I’d go again if I’m in the area in the future. Not that I have much choice. Being downtown late at night was really fun, because I feel like I got a real taste for Hispanic culture. People wore traditional outfits and played and sang songs, religious icons were everywhere, and the atmosphere was really friendly and fun. I had a really good time, and so did J, even though were so exhausted.

When we got back to the hotel, some guy next door was yelling at his kids, who were screaming as if they were being beaten. Yeah, it was interesting. I’m sure they were just screaming for whatever reason - I’m sure the guy wasn’t a child abuser. I hope. But man, he really was yelling.

No pictures from the first day - Six Flags is not a good place to take a camera, and I was so tired in the evening I just forgot.

But! This morning we woke up with plenty more adventures on our minds. We checked out of the hotel and headed downtown again, to go to the Riverwalk! The Riverwalk is a really famous walk along the San Antonio River, with shops and food and beautiful scenery. You can even get on a boat and ride down the river on a tour. We didn’t do that, though. We just walked. It was really beautiful, filled with trees and flowers and the sky was so blue way up above us. It was chilly in the morning but got to maybe 80 degrees, and it was perfectly sunny - we couldn’t have picked a better day. We walked along the river and eventually stopped at Cafe Ole, where we had lunch.

After a couple hours at the Riverwalk we headed for the San Antonio Zoo! It was SO much fun. If you’ve ever been to a zoo, you’ll know how fun it is. Seeing the animals in captivity was a little sad, but seeing animals at all was a lot of fun. The zoo was very crowded, with small children running around almost aimlessly, and adults slamming their strollers into us, and really huge people blocking the walkways. We started off by looking at the bears, which was fun, but I realized the entire zoo was going to be ridiculously crowded if we started at the front and worked our way to the back, so J and I decided to immediately head for the back. It worked - the zoo was less crowded in the back because everyone was in the front.

The zoo was great. They had tons of birds, from ostriches to parrots to flamingos to teeny tiny little green birds that were the most adorable thing ever. We looked at lions and rhinos and hippos and giraffes and tons of kinds of monkeys and giant anacondas. We also saw tigers and kangaroos and they had a really nice aquarium with sharks and jellyfish and crabs and stingrays. They also had a reptile house, which I liked a lot, with every single kind of snake you can imagine. And then we went to the butterfly observatory where a butterfly actually tried to eat me. It landed on my hand and kept sticking its proboscis on me as if it were trying to drink me. It felt really weird.

I posted a lot of pictures up on my flickr if anyone’s interested in seeing the animals. Most of them were taken by J because he’s honestly the better photographer than me. Oh, and add me as a contact, too!

So, we just got back a few hours ago. We’re really, really tired. But all in all it was a really good trip. Coming home to Austin was so wonderful - I fell in love with it all over again. A short vacation was completely what we needed. And the best part is now I get to enjoy the rest of spring break!

I really want writers who will be pretty active, posting up at least something maybe once a week or once ever week and a half, but really I just want people at all to post stuff. I also want to keep this really small so that it’s not overwhelming and so people aren’t so afraid to post. If you’ve always wanted to get motivated, the best way is to be part of a supportive community like the one I’m thinking about.

So, anybody interested? Let me know. If I get at least three or four people, I’m going to set it up. I’ve already got one person: Stephanie, but we’d love to get more people! Let me know in a comment if you’re interested, or if you know someone that might be interested.

Oh, also, any kind of writing would be awesome - journal entries, fiction, novels, poetry, etc. As long as it’s creative writing, it works.

I’ll be back on Thursday.

It’s no secret that I desperately want to get out of school. I’m tired of the culture more than anything - parties, immaturity, people staying up until five in the morning so that when you call at eleven to see what they’re doing for the day, you feel guilty because you woke them up. I’m tired of people still acting like they need their mommies to be able to function at all. I’m tired of people spending their student loans on going out to eat every day because they’re too lazy to boil some water for noodles. I can’t wait to be out of this little tiny apartment and into an actual house where I’ll have the room to move my computer and little television set out of my bedroom. The cats are tired of being here too, already. They’re bored and they hate being limited to my bedroom, a living room, and the bathroom.

I think it’s mostly just walking around and hearing people act like we did back in high school. We all just have cabin fever. This morning Augustus has been whining at the top of his lungs and I have no idea why. Letting him look out the kitchen window helped for awhile but every time someone walks by he gets terrified and jumps down, and then can’t get back up. Sata has been just laying listlessly under my bed, and I know he’s bored and wants to go outside but I can’t let him because of all the weirdos who hang around here and the non-neutered cats who are aggressive and spray all over the place.

And me? I will be very glad when I’m completely done with pop quizzes and dirty carpets and leaky faucets in the bathroom and lack of windows. I always thought I’d love to live in apartments, moving from place to place, never tied down. Then I actually began living in one and it’s killing me (not really - I’m dramatic).

I guess I’m just tired of living the student life. I don’t want to settle down, but I’d like to get out of this area, out of school, and get on with my life. University students, especially the ones here, are so pushy, rude, immature, and self-centered. I get off a city bus and everyone who gets off with me is thanking the bus driver, saying “have a nice day” and all that. I get of a university shuttle and it’s silence. People will yell at a bus driver and then never once say “thank you.” It’s ridiculous. I’m so ready to be done with it. They push in front of you when you’re walking and never excuse themselves, or they bump into you and never say they’re sorry. They’ll talk loudly on their cell phones in quiet areas and expect you to just deal with it.

It doesn’t help that there’s 30,000 of us here. This is a huge university, and you can easily be anonymous or get involved, whichever you want. But either way, you can’t avoid the crowds of girls in shorts and t-shirts and flip-flops, yapping on their cell phone and pushing through, or the frat boys with the stupid polo shirts who walk really closely behind you when there’s no one else around. And it doesn’t help that the university has taken on three major construction projects, cutting off most access routes to the buildings, which increases the crowds along one of the roads so much that you can’t even hear yourself think.

tl;dr? I’m tired. I’m ready to be out of here. Senioritis for the lose.

I dunno. Do you ever have weeks like that? Yesterday one of the cats (Sata) got sick, and was literally crawling across the floor, meowing in a pitiful, scary way. I was terrified he was going to die. He started throwing up and after he had emptied the contents of his stomach he found a corner and just curled up there. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever witnessed, especially because Sata and I have become so especially close in the past week or so. He curls up with me when I go to sleep, and when I wake up he always comes in to greet me.

I was scared, but it really makes you appreciate what you have all the more. He’s a wonderful cat and I’m so happy he’s mine, especially because he just loves everyone unconditionally. Last night I thought I was going to lose him and I hated thinking that. This morning when I woke up, and he came running in to greet me, I couldn’t even explain the relief I felt. He’s just the right kind of cat.

What have you come to appreciate in the past week?

Last week I drew a silly sketch of Sailor Moon on my notebook in class to make a few friends laugh. One of them said, “That’s not half bad.”

For some reason, I needed that encouragement. I used to be an avid sketcher, always doodling on the sides of my homework, but lately I’ve stopped. I don’t know if people understand the power of unwarranted criticism. It can break a person. They show you a short story they’ve written or a picture they’ve drawn and say, “I want to show this to you.” They didn’t ask you for your advice on how to improve, they didn’t ask you whether their metaphors make sense or their style is too organic. They have made someone, and you have the honor of viewing it. Give them the same honor back of enjoying this. Leave the criticism for the art instructor or the editors.

Unless they ask. “Give me an honest critique.” “Tell me whether you think the pose is off.” “Tell me what I should improve.”

I had the unfortunate circumstance of dating a guy who had the potential to ruin my life. I got out of the relationship within about six months but I still remember his harsh words even today. He destroyed drawing for me. Every piece I produced, every painting I tried, he found fault with, criticized, tore apart. Never once said he liked them. And it ruined me. I never drew seriously for a long time, and after that it was just a few things. I turned my attention to writing.

I know what you’re thinking - you’re thinking that I can’t take criticism. No one likes to hear their work isn’t perfect, but it’s the only way you learn. I took an art class and the criticism I had there was what made me grow as an artist. It made me realize what I’m good at and what I’m bad at, because BOTH of these were pointed out. There’s a difference between criticism in an art class and an attack from your boyfriend that wasn’t even asked for.

But then I had someone tell me my Sailor Moon was pretty good.

As people, and as artists, we need honest criticism as much as we need honest encouragement. Encouragement is telling the person to keep going, keep going! Criticism is telling them how to get even better! But we need both. Criticism without encouragement is painful - encouragement without criticism keeps us doing the exact same thing over and over.

Last night as soon as I was done with a school paper, I took out my old sketchbook and I opened it to a new page, and I drew a small picture. And I liked it. And I showed it to J and he said, “Keep going.”

Drawing will never become anything more for me than just something fun, but I’m glad to have it back again.

No one ever told me how hard graduating and moving on from school would be, and I feel sort of betrayed. Everyone said how weird it was to go to college and I felt almost prepared for that. This, though. This is different. My mum keeps saying, “Welcome to the real world,” but it’s the real world on a student salary, with a student mindset, and I have known nothing else outside of what I see when I stand on the corner of Speedway and 24th Street. School.

So I’m not sure what to do right now. And even though we got the lease Friday night they’re already sending us reminders to sign it.

I wish everyone would stop talking about the economy. Talking about how bad it is can only make things worse, because everyone gets terrified and then they don’t spend money and right now the best thing everyone can do is act like everything is normal. But it’s like you can’t even read a decorating magazine or an article about bunnies without hearing about it. It’s enough to make you scream, especially for a “just-getting-out-of-school-20-something.” It’s as if people are obsessed.

It’s raining for the first time in a long time. Hot and rainy is the weather for today. Hot and rainy and therefore disgustingly humid, but it’s the first time we’ve had rain in awhile.

Tomorrow is J’s and my one year anniversary.

I’m not one to sit and mope these days. But sometimes you just need a weekend to be a bit bummed out about how fast your life is moving.