I'm not beautiful like you.

Another Reminder

2008-09-02T14:03:00.002-04:00

Just another reminder that my blog has moved.

You can now find me posting at http://www.imnotbeautifullikeyou.com.

Subscribers - please update by resubmitting your email or resubscribing to the new feed address so you don't miss any posts!

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me!

Friends, I have made the move

2008-08-27T18:26:00.003-04:00

I've moved! This blog will remain here (just in case!) at http://tatasmagik.blogspot.com, but new content will be at my new home with WordPress. The URL of my domain remains the same - however, the feed has moved - so subscribers, please update your subscriptions (either via the RSS button or email box)! You can do so very simply by visiting the site at http://www.imnotbeautifullikeyou.com and clicking on the Subscribe button or by entering your email in the subscription box. Thanks and see you on the flip side!

The Jug Band Jubilee

2008-08-24T11:57:00.002-04:00

I learned about the Jug Band Jubilee from a post at the Consuming Louisville blog a while back and knew I had to attend. But it seemed that the fates were against me.

Buddha was still running a fever yesterday. I wasn't feeling exactly terrific either but I kept trying to talk myself into going: I need to get out. It's free. It will be fun. I'd be all talked into going and then something else would happen that made me want to just climb back into bed and forget the whole thing.

P finally arrived at my place just before 5pm and we piled into her van. We headed down to the Waterfront Park, but found no sign of the Jubilee. We walked the Belvedere, the Great Lawn was bare, there was no sign of the Jubilee anywhere. I called Husband and asked him to search for directions to the Brown-Forman amphitheater. He said it was off of Zorn Avenue somewhere, so P and I concluded that it must be a typo on the flyer - not the Waterfront, but the Water Tower. Shit!

We decided to let the girls cool off in the fountain. It was great fun until Joy fell and gashed her knee. We trekked back to P's van where we cleaned up the knee as best we could and the girls all changed into dry clothes.

As we were leaving, we decided to head out toward Zorn Avenue to look for the Jubilee and a place to eat nearby. Turns out, it was just around the corner on the Waterfront after all, just tucked away off of River Road!

A while back, Husband and I scored a great deal through restaurant.com and I got a $25 gift certificate to Los Aztecas for $2! So, my sweet friend offered to buy us dinner there before the show. It was a nice time, but it would have been immensely better if our girls weren't such whiny buttheads. Her youngest threw a bit of a fit because she wanted to sit beside Joy, but Joy wanted to sit beside me. Groan. We are all at the same farkin' table, chirren! We made the best of it.

I ordered a mango margarita, which I tried to get P to share with me (it was HUGE!). She took a few sips but refused more. Killjoy.

Our food arrived and it was so good. I had the chicken flautas.

P had taquitas mexicanos.

The girls had enchiladas, nachos and a soft taco.

The salsa was amazing. P's girl complained that it was too hot, but P, Joy and I thought it was perfect. P raved about the guacamole, but it was only meh to me.

We sat outside while the girls had dessert so we could have a smoke.

Then we finally headed to the Jubilee. It was twilight by now and we'd missed most of the bands. When we arrived, Escape the Floodwater was on stage. They were so much fun! My camera's battery was low and while our view was great in person, the shots I took didn't turn out so well. But I did crowd the stage for a few to get some video. And really, it does them no justice. I'm of the opinion that Jug Band music is best enjoyed in person, preferably up close.

After what seemed like an eternity, The Juggernauts played. They are more seasoned musicians, less Jug Band-like and more bluegrass. They were a lot of fun, too. Half their act is comedy!

I had a great time. Next year's Jubilee is set to take place the third weekend in September, which will (hopefully) make it much cooler outside and therefore, more enjoyable. Look forward to it.

Running Away Has Evolved

2008-08-22T23:00:00.001-04:00

I have always been the type of person who runs away when the shit hits the fan. It's instinctual for me. When the going gets tough, tata gets going. I'm almost 31 years old now, so it really isn't very grown-up of me to behave as such anymore. Besides, it isn't very effective, as it never accomplishes what I'm really hoping for: escape from the ugly thoughts and feelings that consume me.

Today, I've wanted to run away again. Instead, I've distracted myself as much as humanly possible from my feelings and thoughts. I watched a movie, read in the bathroom and knitted on my sock at every possible opportunity. I did go out for a bit earlier, looking for a job. I cried in between one place and the next, as I felt (warning: teen angst years relived) that all of this was totally fucking unfair. This is not how I wanted to return to the workforce. I have a college degree! I shouldn't be waiting tables or pushing a mop, dammit.

Alas, I will do what I must, I s'pose. Growing up and all that jazz.

Buddha not feeling well has been a bit of a mixed blessing. I have swung from one extreme to the next on the inside - wanting to wallow around in self-pity and wanting to become wholly distracted (thereby escaping) from all the shit. When the meds wear off, he's whiny and clingy and inconsolable 'cept at the boobie. When I've held him and rocked him, he calms for a few minutes and I'm consumed with thoughts of sympathy for my poor boy. But when he insists on lying down for milk, my mind wanders into misery and I wish I were anywhere else.

In any case, I don't want to be here too long ('cause it's hard not to think about all the things I don't want to think about). I'm just testing out the new blog software Windows Live Writer. Earlier I read BlogBloke's recommendation for it in my Google Reader and thought it would be a good distraction to try something new. So far, I dig it. Hell, I dig all things BlogBloke (If you haven't yet, you should check out his blog).

Since I'm here, I thought I'd share sock progress pictures. The first is from this morning before I started and the second is how much I've done today. Once I publish, I'm going back to work on it. Well, at least until I reach the heel. After that, I'll be stuck and must wait until I can get to Sunergos again for help. Maybe I'll finish one of my many other projects. Or make some leg warmers.

Down

2008-08-22T11:22:00.002-04:00

Husband still doesn't have a job. It's highly unlikely that he'll get his position back at the company that was given a bad background check. We aren't seeing any opportunity for recourse.

Buddha is sick. I vaguely recall him feeling a bit warm last night during the late-night nursing session. It was confirmed by vomit in the crib this morning. He was fine earlier, but he's grown cranky as the day has continued. He's extra whiny and clingy.

I've been plugging away at my mom's site for at least 50 hours and she is going to pay me $100. She made a pointed remark that she just spend "quite a bit of money" on Joy for school uniforms and supplies. We're talkin' maybe $50. It's like a slap in the face. That's $2 an hour. Needless to say, I'm done working on the site, even if everything isn't as I had planned.

I have no idea how we are going to pay our rent.

Two nights ago, Husband made a comment to me that hurt much more than I expected. He said he'd wondered what it would be like to have a skinny wife. I've suspected for some time now that he is unhappy about the weight I put on during my pregnancy with Buddha (of those 25 pounds, I'm still carrying 15). I'm not thrilled about it, either, but I know me - I know that the only way I will lose the weight is to exercise (as opposed to diet) and the only way I will stick to an exercise routine is with gym membership. I have stated this to him for at least 10 months. Not that it seems to matter, as we couldn't afford gym membership now even had we gotten it heretofore.

I mean, I have never been skinny. I have never even desired to be skinny. Thin, perhaps, but skinny strikes me as unhealthy. I have struggled with my weight my entire life, but I don't see a fat girl (or even a chubby one) when I look in the mirror. I see me - beautiful, if imperfect. I found a way to love myself as I am years ago and nothing said to me has ever swayed me from that - not Big Rob's comments about me being a "big girl," not Joy vocalizing her worries that I "weigh more than" X, etc.

In any case, I felt so... I'm not even sure what the right word here is. Like humiliated. Like ashamed. And strangely, surprised, even though I suspected his feelings. Something about hearing him say it out loud changed things for me. I've felt distant from him. I can feel the wall going up. Part of me doesn't want to be mad at him because I know people cannot really help the way they feel. But why did he hafta say it? What good did he think it would do?

The hardest part about that is while everything else has crumbled and fallen around me (and us), I've felt safe and secure in our relationship. Now?

I feel so fucking alone. And helpless.

Knitting and Yarn

2008-08-20T13:05:00.009-04:00

This is the awesome yarn TheSockKnitter sent to me for my first pair of socks. I love the colors! Thank you sooooo much, girl. You are too sweet!The MeiMeis I ordered.
Fifteen 60" circular knitting needles US size 0-15.
I'm going to make so much stuff with these!

The yarn I bought for P.
She wants a Circles to Square blanket like I made for mom's birthday.
I may take it back for sock yarn, though!

Some shots from Sunergo's last night. Joy took most of the pictures.

She models Ila's hat. Looks great!Sonnie's daughter and Joy were fast friends.
I can't believe I'm knitting socks!
Thanks again, Sonnie, for showing me the ropes (yarn?!) in magik looping.
I am really enjoying it and really rather be doing that now ;)

I am a lucky woman

2008-08-20T12:57:00.003-04:00

Goodies my husband made!

Philly Cheese Steaks

Brown Sugar Coffee Cake

3/4 c. butter, softened
1 1/2 c. sugar
3 eggs
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
3 c. flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1 1/2 c. sour cream
Filling (recipe follows)

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 12 cup bundt pan (we don't have one, so he used a 9 x 13"). In large mixing bowl, combine butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Beat on medium speed for 2 minutes. Mix in flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt alternately with sour cream. Spread 1/3 of batter (about 2 cups) in pan and sprinkle with 1/3 of filling (about 6 tablespoons). Repeat twice.

Bake 60 minutes or until wooden toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. This is my best coffee cake recipe and the one that always gets the most compliments.

FILLING: Mix 1/2 cup packed brown sugar, 1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon.

How YOU doin'?!

2008-08-19T22:42:00.006-04:00

Husband made these absolutely beautiful and equally delectable Philly Cheese Steaks the other afternoon and it was my intention to post pictures of them.

This sweet gal on Plurk sent me some sock yarn and I wanted to post pictures and a big thank you to her. Update: I did here.

The MeiMei's I ordered on ebay arrived yesterday and natch, I wanted to share my joy with you by posting pictures. Update: I did here.

I started the amigurumi pig in honor of Blog the Recession and the cozy for my iPod, as I mentioned the other day.

Alas, I have been otherwise occupied.

I've been super focused on my mom's website, which is days away from being completely done. I've written the code, tweaked and tinkered and tweaked some more and everything is just about done to my liking. I'm just waiting for the registrar transfer to complete and getting the blog set up in a subdomain. I've learned a ton. I'm ready to move on to the part where I use the knowledge I already have to get my mom some new clients. I look forward to being finished so that I can share with you the finished product and get some feedback.

I have neglected Plurk and my online friends. I have been so far behind in my Google Reader, that I have been a naughty girl and not clicked through because I just don't have enough time in the day to get everything I want to do done!

I am sleep deprived because I stay up late working on things after Buddha has went to bed, and now the alarm rings at 7:30am 'cause school is back in session. And there are dishes to be done and no T here to do them for me. Husband pitches in, of course, but he is also preoccupied by his job drama (jobless drama?) and the final weeks of this quarter of classes.

Tonight, I dropped everything and went to Sunergo's. I need to learn how to use those MeiMei's. Nevermind that I have a pig to crochet, a cozy to stitch together, a daughter who insists I make her fingerless gloves ASAP, a friend who I bought yarn for a blanket (at least she is content to wait until Christmas, bless her heart!), a website to finish building, a stack of books from the library and a pledge to read 3 rather large books for Banned Books Week - oh no, I must learn to knit socks magik loop-style with the new MeiMeis!

In any case, I learned to knit socks magik loop-style! Bless you, Sonnie for your patience with me! Truly, you ladies really bring fresh laughter and learning into my life and I'm so grateful to think of you as friends. I took Joy along with me and she had a great time kickin' it with Sonnie's daughter. They took a mess of pictures. I will post them. Update: I posted them here.

Eventually.

It's 11pm now and I want to knit another round or two. I had intended to charge the iPod so's I could listen to a few chapters of Anne of Avonlea whilst knitting. Alas, I forgot. S'pose I'll watch an episode of The First 48 and turn in. Morning comes so damn early.

I've missed you. How you doin'?

Banned Books Week Readings Pledge

2008-08-17T11:43:00.007-04:00

In the spirit of the stupid list by the NEA and upcoming Banned Books Week (September 27 - October 4), I’m going to commit to reading three of the 100 most challenged books (I've read 16 of those, of which several are also on the aforementioned stupid list by the NEA).

Won’t you join me? My choices:

The Valley of Horses (Part 2 in Jean Auel’s Earth’s Children series)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

I've read The Clan of the Cave Bear and always meant to read the next one in the series. I've read all the others in the Harry Potter series, even bought the last one the day it came out, just never gotten around to it (even managed to avoid any spoilers). This is a good excuse to crack open those books at long last! Unfortunately, the first two of my choices won't add any additional tallies for me on the list, but I'm okay with that. Mostly.

Getting my crafty groove back

2008-08-15T23:59:00.003-04:00

I haven't accomplished all the things I'd planned for myself to get done on Thursday, but I did manage to do a few things. We paid the necessary bills, vacuumed, dishes, garbage, the usual chores, got rid of that donation pile and hit the library. Best of all, I started some crafty projects! I'm working on an amigurumi pig in honor of Blog The Recession and I stumbled a really nifty tutorial for making an iPod cozy a while back and just so happened to have most of the materials required. My mom hooked me up with the one material I didn't have. I'm feeling the crafty love once again! I'll post pictures when everything is finished.

Things I didn't get done: laundry folding (no surprise there), zucchini bread (we're out of eggs), and Husband has not - as of yet - gotten his job back. It is so frustrating to feel so helpless. The company that provided the inaccurate background check to the staffing agency has stated to Husband that they legally have 30 days to rectify the inaccuracies and will likely take every last one of those 30 days. In the meantime, we are hoping that the certified copies coming from the County Clerk's office will be sufficient for the staffing agency to get Husband back on the job where they placed him. Otherwise, he will have to either look for work elsewhere or take a lower paying job. Forget getting anything good for my golden birthday, we'll be lucky to make rent.

I have a job prospect of my own, however. I've been having so much fun playing around with the coding here at the blog that I want to expand my horizons once again and do some more web building. While it is definitely a bit more technical, it still enables me to feel crafty and it's something I can do from home (and those are very good things). The only problem is that my prospective employer plays hardball. She really likes the ideas I have for her site, but she doesn't like parting ways with her hard-earned cash. I should know. She's my mom.

Really, I can understand her perspective, because the woman has busted her ass to get where she is in life - certainly didn't there from handing over all her money to people calling her up asking for it! Plus, I'm her kid and, let's face it, I haven't always been the most upstanding child a mama could hope for. I've screwed up plenty and that includes costing her ~~some~~ a lot of that money from time to time. So she isn't eager to give me much. Frankly, I'm still new at all of this (I know some coding and have built a few sites in my time) and while I'm more than willing to learn and put in the time and effort to provide her with an outstanding product and service, I really have no idea what the real-world value of such a thing might be. (If you happen to know, I'd be eternally grateful for a comment or an email with such information! tata at imnotbeautifullikeyou.com - thanks!) Being as how mom knows this, she is likely to insist that the experience is a great form of partial payment and will prolly offer up (at my insistance, mind you) her finished site as reference to other prospective jobs in the future, assuming I pursue such a path. In any case, I've spent a good amount of time working on her site, designing fresh graphics and writing HTML and CSS codes for a new layout.

Suddenly, it seems as if there isn't enough time in the day to do all that I want to do. I want to crochet amigurumi animals and food, knit scarves and socks (I wish my needles would hurry up and get here already!), I want to learn how to make my own yarn, I want to code and design graphics, I want to read that stack of books I just picked up at the library, I want to catch up on my DVR and see those movies I borrowed from P at BHF's insistance, I want to bake, I want to sleep, I want someone to come fold my laundry so I can do the other stuff...

Offsetting C02 One Challenge, One Pound at a Time

2008-08-15T11:03:00.005-04:00

My badge over at Carbonrally states that I have offset 505 lbs since I joined on June 21, 2008. I'm thrilled! It feels good to pay attention to my consumption and do my part to reduce waste. Here are the challenges in which I am participating:

Bringing my own bags while grocery shopping. If you haven't done this yet, you should do something drastic and cut the plastic!
Power Shower - knocking 2 minutes off a daily shower.
Giving my computer a rest - turning it off and unplugging it at night.
Stop the Idle Threat - turning off the car instead of idling for long periods.
Top off Tires - topping off the tires once per month.
Lowrider - driving a bit slower (55mph max).
Air out your fridge - cleaning the coils on the refrigerator.
Right now, less cow - pledging to go meat-free twice per week.
Change a few bulbs - switching to CFL bulbs.
Kick the catalogs - reducing the catalogs in the mailbox by 75%.

I'm feeling good about Saving the World and Going Green(er). What are you doing to reduce your waste and watch your consumption?

Big Read: NEA Top 100 Books

2008-08-14T11:37:00.007-04:00

A fellow blogger posted this a few days ago and I thought I'd join in!

The Big Read is an NEA program designed to encourage community reading initiatives and of their top 100 books, they estimate the average adult has read only six. According to another blogger, they encourage us to:

*Look at the list and bold those we have read.
*Italicize those we intend to read.
*Underline the books we LOVE

Share this list in your blog, too, if you like. :)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Seventeen?! That's it!?! Well damn. I have listed 8 that I intend to read and only 2 that I love. I am kinda upset at this list now. I read! I read a lot! Okay, well, I don't read as much as I would like these days - it's hard for me to focus when I'm constantly interrupted by a curious, grabby toddler, so I have put off reading anything deemed intelligent by these NEA folk.

For now, I'm content to listen here and there to stories on the iPod, courtesy of Librivox. Right now, it's Anne of Avonlea by Lucy Maud Montgomery. I'm also enjoying some great how-to knitting books and a number of blogs via Google Reader. So take that, NEA jerks!

Iroquois Park

2008-08-13T01:33:00.004-04:00

I fully intended to go to bed after my last post, but I'd like to turn off my computer before going to bed as part of my campaign to go green(er) and the defragger is at 99%. So, I thought I'd share a couple of pictures from our visit to the park on Monday real quick.

The kids.

Us.

I spotted one of them there conspiracy rainbows - and got proof!
::chuckle::

Break it down

2008-08-13T00:09:00.002-04:00

I did so much today. We did so much today. Well, it has been a long-ass day, seeing how it started at 6:30am for me and it is now after midnight. I would be done with this post already if I hadn't turned on the Olympics (or if the girl's gymnastics weren't on - they are, by far, my favorite event to watch. I become completely transfixed by these young ladies flipping about gracefully with this serious and hard look in their eyes).

The title of this post is inspired by DJ Lance. That's right, we watch Yo Gabba Gabba! It's a great show, dammit. "It's almost time to go. But first, let's remember what we did today! Can we do it? Can we dance? Let's do it! A-break it down!"

Got Joy off on the school bus for her first day back to school. No snags.
Made coffee, woke up Husband and apologized for being an ass. He accepted.
Husband made breakfast.
Put away clean dishes.
Washed up dishes from last night's dinner and this morning's breakfast.
Turned and finished laundry.
Stripped the linens and washed 'em, too.
Took lunch and the rest of Joy's school supplies up to her school.
Husband replaced the bulb in Joy's room with a CFL bulb.
Husband repaired the stupid laundry closet door.
Took Buddha outside for about a half an hour.
Husband cooked dinner and washed the dinner dishes.
Straightened out the pantry and the cupboard where all our dry baking goods are kept.
Took out the garbage. Twice (UGH! I wish they'd start recycling for our complex already).
Filled out a mess of paperwork Joy brought home from school.
A ton of virtual cleaning:

Cleaned email box
Moved 15 GBs of files (mostly pictures) from OS to partition
Defragged
Ran CCleaner
Emptied recycle bin
300+ items in Google reader
Unsubscribed from a number of blogs that have not kept my interest.

Knitted several rows of my Ribbed-for-Her-Pleasure scarf in between everything else.
Started black beans soaking for some meal tomorrow.
Gave the boy a bath.
Stayed on the girl's ass about keeping her room clean. She did a pretty good job, but not without promises of Klondike bar (what would YOU do for a Klondike bar? ...grumble).
Set coffee pot for early morning.

And now that I have listed out all the things I've done, I'm compelled to list the things I need to get done tomorrow!

Pay some bills with Husband's last check. Decide which.
Husband should find out the status of his employment.
Vacuum.
Fold laundry that was washed and dried today. And - UGH - put it away.
Find something - anything! - to knit or crochet. I am almost out of yarn for this scarf and won't get more anytime in the foreseeable future. I need a project.
Eliminate the stack of things I've set aside for donation some time ago. I'm tired of looking at it!
Catch up on Plurk. I've been neglecting it.
Maybe wash Joy's linen, too. Maybe not, I'm pretty over laundry.
Make some zucchini bread with the last of the zucchini.
Dishes and garbage, I'm sure.
If weather is accommodating, go to the park.
Pick up reserved book at library.
Other stuff I'm prolly forgetting.

For now, I'm off to bed. Morning comes early! Goodnight!

Breakfast: Pop Up Pancakes

2008-08-12T14:56:00.004-04:00

I found a really excellent-sounding and -looking recipe for Pop Up Pancakes. We picked up some bananas while we were out yesterday specifically to have with them. Don't they look wonderful?!

I hafta admit that I was a little disappointed. I shoulda gathered from the recipe that it would be too eggy for my taste (it was) and 15 minutes was too long in our oven. I'm not giving up on it, though. Next time, I'm going to try it with less egg and a shorter cooking time.

Reasons to be pissy

2008-08-12T07:07:00.004-04:00

A long-ass time ago, Husband got himself into a bit of trouble. It was all really stupid (especially the part where he got caught) and has been a thorn in his side for a multitude of reasons since. In any case, when the staffing agency that employs him ran his background check, the information came back (as we expected) inaccurately (we didn't see that comin'). It made his previous troubles exponentially worse and therefore, they let him go. Husband met with them yesterday, taking along all the original court documents. He called our lawyer, he called the lawyer from years ago, he called the clerk's office in the county where it happened. Maybe he'll get his job back. But his job loss has created a domino-effect of other great reasons to be pissy.

No more medical insurance = no more Paxil. I'm on my last month's prescription, so I'm taking matters into my own hands (remember how well that went last time?) and weaning on my own. I started Saturday and already I'm all sorts of bitchy. And just like last time, I'm PMSing.

I was supposed to ride to Indianapolis on Saturday to meet up with Monkeytoes and go to that Daughtry concert with her. Yeah, no cash flow for even gas. I had to cancel with her at the last minute. I would have felt soooo much worse if she didn't have a friend to take after all. While I'm not a huge Daughtry fan, it has been years since I've been to a concert and we have planning this since April. I'm pretty fuckin' disappointed.

T is gone. I put her on the plane on Sunday afternoon and the little shit didn't even call to let me know she made it okay. Before heading to the airport, we dropped Joy off at Big Rob's because he was headed out to Oma's. I had to ask my mom to buy Joy's school supplies and some new uniforms since Joy's Nana didn't bother this year (the past I-don't-know-how-many summers, she has at least taken care of uniforms and the new backpack), although she did get Joy a backpack. I'm sure you can imagine how much fun my mom had trying to locate uniforms the Sunday before school started. Even I called three different stores (on top of the countless stores mom called) and everyone was out of Joy's size. For a pleasant Oma this did not make.

Since the girls were both gone and Husband was home, I spent the rest of a seemingly endless Sunday cleaning the entire house, including Joy's room. It didn't take long, but it was tedious as hell and I found all sorts of food-related garbage that I know is from T in that room. When Joy came back home yesterday, I had to get onto her at least 4 different times to keep it clean in there. I just don't understand how one little girl can be so similar to a natural disaster.

We went to the WIC office yesterday to renew. I was miffed that the nutritionist asked me what I am doing with the milk I get from the WIC checks since we don't give Buddha cow's milk. I told her I was still nursing, but she still insisted that he needs a good source of calcium. Erm... hello?!

Mom met with us there to drop Joy to me. We came back home for a bit, I did some laundry, some meal-planning, then we headed to the park for a bit. We went to Wal*Mart to get some diapers and a few other things (that we can't really afford), came back home to start dinner. Husband and I got into another tiff. He does this really annoying thing where he comes in and either tells me how I "should be" doing something or just takes over. I totally flew off the handle on him. In hindsight, it was pretty stupid. I just remember how I was so consumed with anger. He knows how much I hate it when he interferes. He did try to apologize or at least calm me down. I would have none of it. I finished my chores and went to bed, not even having any dinner. It was 7pm. I woke up briefly at just before 9pm long enough to call Joy in from outside, make her take her pill and usher her into the shower. I scooped up the boy and the two of us went to bed. I slept until 6:30am this morning.

I have got to do something - anything - about the level of anger I reach when he makes me mad. I have never experienced feelings like this before. I dream up all sorts of violent things to do to him when he makes me mad. I want to break shit. Since I cannot (as of yet) find a better solution, I just remove myself from where ever he is. It isn't practical, for one. For another thing, it just cannot be healthy. He's my husband and, normally, my best friend. I shouldn't feel like he is my enemy. I know he is not, but when I reach that level, it feels like he is.

The only good solution I have come up with: one of us needs to get a fuckin' job.

Bountiful Bread

2008-08-09T19:59:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I found a great deal while Stumbling around. Restaurant.com had an 80% discount, so Husband and I bought $225 of gift certificates for $16! The only clincher is that we were unfamiliar with all the local restaurants that participate with Restaurant.com, so we had to browse their very slow site to make our selections. Husband immediately gravitated to Bountiful Bread, a deli-slash-bakery reminiscent of Panera.

With today being T's last full day here with us, I suggested we use the gift certificate to dine at one of the restaurants. We chose Bountiful Breads. The five of us packed up in our little truck and drove across town.

The place is located in a little plaza which seems relatively new (or perhaps just very well-maintained). It's tucked away on a corner near a gym and a few other restaurants. Inside is very large with plenty of seating, but it was quiet - maybe one or two other tables. We walked up to the counter to browse the menu and the entire staff stood there looking at us, at the ready to whip up whatever we ordered. Likely looking as uncomfortable as we felt, the cashier offered us a menu to hold and we found a table in the back by the unlit fireplace while we made our choices.

After Husband and I placed our order, I went outside to have a cigarette and decided the whole lot of us needed to be out there, as it was such a pretty day. T and Joy complained at first, but later agreed that being outdoors was rather nice.

We goofed off and took pictures while we waited for our food, then took pictures of the food before eating. Then took more pictures, in an effort to remember today as well as possible.

Waiting...

Joy

tata

T got the Hot Brown. I daresay it is better than KT's!

Joy got Tuna on Semolina bread. Not very adventurous.

She also wanted the soup. I ordered the largest size, which is served in a bread bowl and we all shared. It was absolutely amazing. They even give you the innards for dunking!

Husband ordered The Underhill. Roast beef, Muenster, Thousand Island dressing and cole slaw served on German rye bread. VERY adventurous!

I ordered the Classic Club, but asked for the Pepper Jack bread instead of the Semolina. Oh my word, it was divine! Piled high with yummy tomatoes, too.

For dessert, we shared this insanely sweet, deliciously warm Cinnamon Stick. It's like a Cinnabon cinnamon roll on crack.

My family.

You'd never believe a demon would have a face like this, huh?!

I really love this picture of Husband and I.

Boys making silly faces.

T and Husband checking out their silly shots.

The girls.

T and tata

Whenever you miss me, T, remember this picture :)

I'm really gonna miss this kid. I don't just mean the dish-washing and the zucchini bread and preparation of meals I'd otherwise hafta make (although I'd be lying if I said I won't miss that, too!). I don't just mean picking on her for the way she says certain things or making her flinch for the fun of it or licking her face just 'cause it icks her out so much (heeheeheeeheee!!!) I mean the trips to Wal*Mart, the knitting and crocheting we've done together, learning signs, the long talks, going to the park, just kickin' it... I fuckin' hate to see you go, kid. But I'm holding you to the promises you made to me and your mama (don't disappoint us!) and wish you the very best upon your return home. I love you.

Godspeed.

Bernie Mac: Dead or Alive?

2008-08-09T11:47:00.008-04:00

Perusing the forums over at BlogCatalog minutes ago and discovered a post entitled "R.I.P. Bernie Mac." Wha?!

After reading the opening post, I googled. And what I found did little to help immediately clarify. However, Reuters confirms Mac's death. Seems that earlier this week, there were reports that his death was a rumor perpetuated by false calls to various media.

Mac had been hospitalized with pneumonia for about a week and suffered from sarcoidosis. It seems the pneumonia complicated the sarcoidosis. He was 50 years old.

It was only a few short weeks ago since Reuters reported George Carlin's death. Twist of irony - quite a sad time for comedy.

NKWS (not kid/work safe)

Blidget

2008-08-09T09:23:00.011-04:00

I've been playing over at Widgetbox and made a blidget of my blog and feed. If you are interested in placing one of them on your blog or website, you can get yours here. They are fully customizable!

According to Weblogian, just creating a blidget may increase your blog traffic! So what are you waiting for? Get to it!

I'd love to see your Blidgets. If you make one, please leave the URL to it in a comment!

Chocolate Cake

2008-08-07T18:20:00.004-04:00

Last night, Husband made me this chocolate cake. And yes, he got lucky for it.

Overnight Demons

2008-08-07T17:43:00.004-04:00

Joy arrived home on Monday. It's really nice to have her home, but the child is such a slob! No sooner than she dragged her suitcase into her room, it was a disaster area. She's like a hurricane. Hurricane Joy.

Last night, P took both of the girls for the night. Husband and I hit the grocery store and came home for a quiet dinner. He entertained the boy for a bit and I nursed him to sleep. We enjoyed the quiet of the evening. It's been rare this summer!

Some time in the past few days, Buddha has become a complete nightmare. He started squealing this high-pitched squawk that hits that nerve. He is into everything. I cannot leave the room to pee without him sneaking ink pens out of the desk drawer or trying to unplug the outlet covers. He climbs the furniture, knocks down the lamp, and whines incessantly all.day.long. Yesterday was awful. He fought nap time vehemently, nursing one moment and squirming off the bed the next. And our bedroom is so not child-proofed. There is the stereo (buttons for him to push which could deafen the neighbors), Husband's guitar (which he likes to strike with whatever heavy object might be lying around), the box fans to help circulate the air (missing fingers, anyone?) not to mention the girls are terrible about keeping the bathroom door closed (let's not even humor those thoughts). He's crafty: he has managed to pass most barriers we've erected to keep him in or out. He's fast, too. My sweet boy has become possessed by demons, I think.

T's report of last night's events at P's house sounds standard. Joy and her friend, L bickered all night long. Why do these kids beg relentlessly to hang out when all they do is fight?!! I'm considering sending P flowers and a well-crafted letter of apology and thanks for tolerating that non-sense. The girls forgot to turn everything off and to feed the cat before they left last night, too. So when they returned home early this afternoon, I put them both to work.

While I scrubbed the bathroom and vacuumed the house, T cleaned the kitchen while Joy cleaned their bedroom. This morning, I cleared off the entire desk and dusted (while fending off the aforementioned persistently curious and grabby toddler). I got rid of Husband's monster-sized stack of paperwork, which we still need to pore through. I balanced the checkbook, got our prescriptions filled and portioned for the next week, folded 3 loads of laundry and cooked dinner. I feel rather accomplished, thank you very much. But I am also grumpy. I'd rather be playing on Plurk or crocheting or spinning or reading or sleeping. And of course, by tomorrow, all of my work will be undone. I hate housework.

The rest of this week will be busy. On Saturday, I am going to Indianapolis to see Daughtry with Monkeytoes. I'd hoped we could all go, that we'd get an overnight room at a hotel with a pool and Husband could entertain the kids poolside while I attend the show with Monkeytoes. Unfortunately, things aren't going to turn out that way and I will drive myself up and back home. Sunday, T is flying home around 2pm and afterwards, I am taking Joy to my mom's for the night. Mom is taking her shopping for school supplies and uniforms (thank God, as we are so farkin' broke). And school starts back on Tuesday!

New features

2008-08-06T19:56:00.003-04:00

I planned to wait until the results of the poll were in (only one day left to vote!!!) to announce the new features/changes on the site, but given the current standings, it looks like things will stay the way they are. That said, here are the changes:

Added a star-rating feature so you can vote on each post. It also includes recommendations for other content that might interest the reader.
Deleted the Recent Viewers widget.
Deleted the Crochet & Knit widget.
Moved the Wish List widget to its own page.
Replaced the social bookmark icons bar with a single ShareThis button.
Added a blogroll. There are 20-ish, but only the 10 most recently updated show.
Updated the Buzzworthy Posts widget to reflect my new domain name and shortened the list to 5 instead of 12.
Changed from 7 posts on the main page to 5 posts.

I hope you enjoy the changes. I'd love to hear any feedback on it or improving the layout in general. And, as always, if you enjoy this blog, I'd be very grateful if you share it! Thanks!

Salad

2008-08-06T14:28:00.005-04:00

The girls went to P's for the night. Husband, Buddha and I had a nice, quiet dinner. It was a collaborative effort - Husband grilled the chicken and I diced the veggies and made salad. It was so good!

Spinning on a drop spindle

2008-08-06T00:26:00.004-04:00

I went to Sunergos again tonight for knitting with the locals. I didn't bring my camera tonight as I mistakenly thought I was running late (turns out I was early!), but you can check Sonya's blog in a day or two to see pictures from the get-together. She took one of me spinning for the very first time. Thanks, Sonya!

Babybear loaned me her drop spindle and showed me how to use it. She also gave me some light coopworth roving to practice with. It's so cool how you start with this fluffy stuff and finish with yarn! Thanks, Rebekah! I'm really having fun learning this craft.

Again, she brought her spinning wheel and I watched intently. It's fascinating! She even let me try it, but her wheel is... quirky and kept spinning in the wrong direction for me. I gave up rather quickly. Too hard to focus on the foot getting the wheel turning properly and the hands pulling the roving.

A close-up:

Obviously, I'm not very good yet - slubs everywhere (see, I can remember technical terms!). But I am absolutely infatuated with the whole process and hope to get my very own spinning wheel in the very near future. The one I'm really impressed with is the Mach 1. The LYS (local yarn store) Grinny Possum's carries it for a very affordable $495.00, which includes a spinning class (valued at $50) and 49 "Grinny Bucks."

Wish lists

2008-08-04T15:09:00.006-04:00

This year on August 31, I will be celebrating my Golden Birthday. I'm turning 31.

Every year, people ask me about what I want and every year, I feel totally unprepared and clueless about what I want. Well not this year! My yarn lust has prompted me to add favorites on Etsy.com and update my Amazon.com wish list. I've also got my eyes on a really great needle set over at Knitpicks.com.

So if you are at a loss for what to get me, fret no more - you can find the wish lists on their own page, accessible on the Wish Lists tab! Thanks! :)