The TaterTwins

My marriage was built on grief.

Jayme — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:20:35 +0000

For us, our first loss happened about a year after we met, and we’d only been married a few months. It sort of defined our relationship in that grief and baby loss has always been a part of who we are as a couple.

We were stationed in Hawaii at the time, so just about as far away from our families as we could get, and had no choice but to rely on each other to get through it. Well, I suppose we could have turned away from each other, but luckily we didn’t. We shared our heartbreak, taking turns being the strong one (mostly him) and connected over our sadness.

Ultimately, I think it brought us closer together super fast. We had been together just long enough for that honeymoon period to start wearing off- where suddenly the little quirks that were cute when you first met become annoying. We went from the petty beginning of the relationship arguments like who does the dishes to burying our baby, so suddenly the small stuff didn’t seem like such a big deal. It’s as if we totally skipped over that adjustment stage- I honestly can’t remember the last time we argued about something.

I feel like Raime was a catalyst in cementing our commitment to each other. Because of her, we knew that we could rely on each other through anything. I was never so sick in my life as I was when I was in the hospital for the week leading up to her birth, and Aaron was right there at my side the whole time, even when I wasn’t coherent. That right there is true love.

I will never forget the look on his face when Raime was born and they handed her to him. Just thinking about it breaks my heart- such love and pain and pride all at once.

While of course I wish it never happened, losing our baby in the beginning of our marriage gave us strength. It brought us together, and instead of breaking us apart, our commitment to each other was fortified.

It seems unlikely- that a successful marriage could be built out of grief and loss, but it works for us.

My Mantras for the Year

Jayme — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 17:47:32 +0000

2012 has just begun, and it’s started with a bang. I already need to revamp my New Year’s Resolutions and it’s not even February. So instead, I’ve decided to live life this year while embracing a few quotes…

These are the words I’m going to try to live by this year. Some are humorous, some are serious, but they are all meaningful to me.

Do you identify with any of these?

Ocean Spray Fruit Flavored Snacks Giveaway

Jayme — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:54:18 +0000

My kids LOVE fruit snacks- so much that we’ve had to impose a one package a day limit on them. So when I was given the opportunity to try the NEW Ocean Spray Fruit Flavored Snacks, I jumped at the chance.

Generally I leave the fruit snacks to the kids, but these are so tasty I’ve had to snag some for myself. They’re perfectly soft, not that weird semi-hard texture that some brands seem to have. And they are so flavorful!

They are available in two flavors- Assorted and Berries and Cherries- and they are made with apple, pear, and cranberry juice concentrate AND colored from natural sources. Gluten free and only 80 calories, these snacks contain 100% of the daily dose of vitamin C.

Right now, you can click here to download a printable coupon for $1.10 off of the purchase of (2) Ocean Spray Fruit Flavored snacks! Additionally, you can learn more on the Ocean Spray website and their Facebook page.

Would you like to win a prize pack including 6 boxes of new Ocean Spray Fruit Snacks? Just fill out the form below! I will be choosing FOUR winners!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: Ocean Spray® Fruit Flavored Snacks, information, and giveaway have been provided by Ocean Spray® through MyBlogSpark.

Fashion Chat: Nails

Jayme — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:20:16 +0000

I’m not a huge girly girl. I wear make up like once a year, if that- generally only if I’m going to the USMC Birthday Ball. I don’t do mani and pedis. I don’t follow current fashion trends, unless they’re jeans and tees. Then I’m all over it by default.

Lili on the other hand is all about nails and make up and fashion.

I will admit to painting my toenails here and there. Generally in the summer, but even then I have a bad habit of letting it chip off and look horrid before I redo it. I tend to gravitate towards the same few shades of pinkish purple. I also always buy cheap polish- usually the $1 stuff. Since it never stays put, I never use it on my fingers.

And then I was sent 3 bottles of nail polish from Essie. These three to be exact:They are from their current winter line, which means they are currently fashionable colors. And while I enjoyed the names, the only one that seemed like I would wear it was the red, and even that one seemed a little dark for me.

I was talking to a friend and when I told her about the nail polish she got all excited. She gets her nails done weekly and says that Essie is her favorite brand:

Essie is super great quality, it’s the “gold standard” in nail salons along with OPI. They’re infamous for their paler shades, they were like a wedding go to brand for years. Now they’re branching out, plus L’oreal bought them last year. All their polishes (except sheers or glitters) cover in 2 even coats, dry to a shiny jelly like finish, and wear well.

With such a glowing review, I decided to be brave and use Bangle Jangle on my fingers. I was highly impressed with the ease of use- it sounds silly to me that it would be way different from the cheap bottles of polish I buy, but it really went on so much easier. And it dried practically instantly! I’m officially a fan now, and want to get more colors as well as an Essie top coat.

At the park.

Jayme — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 01:51:07 +0000

Yesterday it was 60 degrees out so I took the boys to the park for awhile. We stopped at the commissary on the way for snacks and had a little picnic too. I love when it’s nice enough out for them to play, they sleep so much better, and it really cuts down on the winter stir crazy.

I wanted to back today with the whole family but of course it was all rainy and gross.

There were a few other toddlers and their moms at the park, so I ended up talking to them and didn’t take nearly as many pics as I wanted. Next time! It’s always nice to have adult conversation.

Ryan had a wee little case of bedhead. I don’t think it detracts from his cuteness at all though.

They were doing construction on the other side of the park, and the boys were just enthralled with the trucks and machinery. They are such boys!

I was watching Ryan do one thing, and I look over at Dylan and he’d climbed to the top of this ladder thing that was SO high. I had to run over and help him down- it totally made me glad that we don’t have the bunk beds together anymore.

Ryan had his MRI this past week. He does them every 6 months, to make sure that no tumors are growing back. We generally don’t get the results until he visits his oncologist in Philly, which is not until February. It’s always fine- and I assume if there was an issue they would call.

Did I mention that both boys qualify for speech help? The evaluations came back. We’re still working out just how much help they will get- be it weekly, monthly, whatever. It also means that they qualify for preschool at the elementary school that the girls go to next fall. Again, we don’t know if it will be daily, a couple times a week, or once a week for an hour- there are several different programs.

I’ll have kid-free time! Whatever will I do with myself?

Teal Appeal.

Jayme — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:06:05 +0000

As I browse Pinterest, I notice that I’m drawn to rustic looking teal furniture. Someday, I’d love to redecorate… after the kids are big of course, because otherwise it’s a waste of time. If you’d asked me 6 months ago what type of things I’d like to see in my house, I would have had no idea. But thanks to this addicting site, I’ve got my dream home all planned out.

Want to see some of the stuff I love? These things are all do-able in our current house too, aside from painting the walls.

The mismatched chairs are adorable- I love how they look! They are paired with a teal table, which is what initially caught my eye. But we own a matching set, so another idea would be this:

I love this table, with the teal legs. Just a cute pop of color! It makes me want to paint our table.

Not only do I love the teal wall, but I love the way the decor goes all the way to the floor and is just an eclectic mix of things.

BUT to get around the painting of the wall, perhaps I could hang something like this in the dining room to coordinate with the table:

It seems like a simple project that would add a lot of color to our boring white military housing walls.

Our dining room/living room is one big area, and our front door is right in the middle of them. We currently have our cubbies there, and tend to toss our mail on the top of them. I love this painted shutter that’s used as a catch-all.

And now I want to repaint our cubbies too, so that they’d be a shade of teal. Maybe I could even add some patterning like on this gorgeous dresser:

Now to convince Aaron we need to get rid of our living room sofas and get something that would coordinate…

I’m thinking of a neutral colored sectional with assorted teal throw pillows?

And if I’m lucky I can find an old door and make this awesome coffee table!

Bedtime with twins.

Jayme — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 06:26:24 +0000

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Head vs. Heart

Jayme — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 04:28:14 +0000

When your head and your heart are telling you two different things, which do you listen to? How do you make that decision?

My head leans towards the logical, sensible, safe options. My heart on the other hand, is impulsive, impatient and emotional. Often I’ll find myself trying to talk my head into agreeing with my heart- to reconcile the two. But it’s hard sometimes when I’m conflicted to find a happy medium.

Of course, once I come to my decision, I then have to convince Aaron that it’s a good idea using all of the made up reasons that I talked myself into going with my heart- he’s much more of a go with the head type of person. I do think that having us be on opposite spectrums balances us out.

Source: Uploaded by user via Marthithella on Pinterest

Letting Go.

Jayme — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 15:06:42 +0000

Aaron tried to drive the girls to school today, because of the rain- but they insisted on riding their bikes. I’m sure they arrived all soaked. If I had been the one getting them to school, would have made them go in the car. I probably would have stepped in and had Aaron drive them a few years ago too… but I think I’ve gotten better about letting go and not being in charge of every little aspect of parenting.

I know I have lightened up about other things as well- I used to be really uptight about what the kids wore when they left the house. I would find myself having them change if they or Aaron dressed them in something that didn’t match. And when the girls were younger, I always had their hair done up neatly with bows. But the girls are older now with their own opinions of fashion. And mismatched clothing isn’t going to hurt anything, except maybe my tongue from me biting it.

It’s so hard to let someone else be in control sometimes. Aaron is an amazing father, and I needed to let him parent our kids without me parenting on top of him. I think it’s pretty common though, for mothers to do that with their husbands. I’m pretty sure most of us don’t even realize we’re doing it. The only reason I made the conscious decision to step back was because of a book I read a few years back. I wish I could remember the name… but basically it was from the husband’s point of view and I totally saw myself in his obnoxiously annoying nagging wife. I didn’t want Aaron to become resentful of me like the guy in the book had become towards his wife.

The biggest area where I’ve relinquished control is Ryan’s medical care. Aaron has brought Ryan to the vast majority of his appointments and procedures since his cancer diagnosis. I realized that by letting go and letting him be in charge, I’ve eliminated a lot of my stress. Aaron handles stuff like that way better than I do as well.

Recently friends and I were talking about how our spouses would do if something happened to us and they had to be in charge of the kids and the house. Almost every single one of my friends said that their husbands couldn’t do it- that they don’t know enough about the kids schedules and routines to be left on their own. Some even said that they would not be able to leave their kids with their dads for a week as I did when I went to NY to be with my mom when she needed me. They said that even if they had the week off of work, they would still have to get extra help.

Do you notice this among you and your friends too- the mom taking control in the parenting and kind of overruling the dad?

Pinterest Bucket List

Jayme — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 19:34:22 +0000

I found tons of bucket list photos on Pinterest and pinned a bunch of things I want to do. It’s so fun to dream!

What are some things you’d like to experience in your lifetime?