tbaoo is asleep at the moment and would really appreciate you keeping the noise down out there. i’ve had some distractions, other more normal and less wordy things to occupy my time and surprisingly i’ve enjoyed it. that said it will continue. 

today is a prime example, i’ve woken at 05.00 ( normal time for dog walking ), had a coffee or five, a few thousand cigarettes, a snack and i’m ready to bathe in the rare sunshine that’s beaming broadly outside. it has been pissing down rain for what seems like three weeks solid. everything is a quagmire and our lovely gold coast beaches are disappearing back out to sea. you can see the sea as it’s sure a lot closer. some house and business owners can see the sea inside their property.

so why the return, well i think i have to put tbaoo on hold so a while and this silly post is just making that bowel shattering decision public. i know i’ve mumbled something like this before but this will help to close the door on tbaoo, not lock it but just close it for a while. i’ll give you this mind blowingly wonderful, brilliant cut and paste tune and a clip that makes your jelly wobble ( turn it up ) … bye for now – keep smiling and be kind to each other.

..

found at http://youtu.be/gpc3cCxWNkU

well – here i am

i’ve been away and i’ve been busy. not really doing anything all that dramatic or life changing aside from changing parts of my life. you may have noticed dear reader that i’ve given tbaoo, my silly writing and other online things a big miss of late. 

the reason for today’s post is to say – type – post – a huge thank-you to those that have made the online action so interesting.

i’m also taking this opportunity to wish everyone a wonderful xmas. may it be safe, well fed and watered without too much excess. to those that feel sad at such a time, don’t despair, i agree that without children and a huge close family, it’s an overly commercialised greedy season in which the retailers scream how you should celebrate, what ever aspect of the season it is you wish ( or not ) to celebrate. ignore them and do what you want.

while you may be a regular dear reader, i mean that you do unto others as you would want them done unto you. return kindness and be well mannered at all times. also don’t forget that ignorance and prejudice are not signs of strength but of weakness.

i can’t post a one off without going into one. many issues have recently touched and wounded my hardened crusty heart – so here’s a couple:

• the world can relax now that the callous dim witted mormon isn’t going to be in charge.
• the nra might at last have shot itself in the foot and mouth.
• gun control might actually be talked about in a sensible way, oh hang on we’re talking about middle america here. this part of the world that doesn’t even know where the rest of the world is.
• if everyone wants a gun at home, be sure to give them “one”, but not a 9 million round automatic assault riffle, what the fuck do you want that for you redneck hillbilly dickhead.
• license gun ownership and don’t allow concealed weapons except for those in law enforcement.
• open thousands of well run, tightly controlled gun ranges with secure storage for the weapons not allowed outside of these tightly controlled locations. shit, build a freak’n tank and bazooka range for the guys with the swinging big ones.
• if you don’t have children ( like me ) go down to the local library, kindergarten, school or shopping centre and look into the faces of other people’s children. imagine if they were your children and some fucktard decided to unload his nra endorsed, second amendment granted 9 million round automatic assault riffle ….. into them.
• law makers crushing organised workplace bargaining rights and making it illegal to be in a union.
• americans earning an hourly pay less than a 11 year old carpet maker in bangladesh.

final word .. i humbly request that every american rent the film idiocracy ( see below ) and then you’ll know what the rest of the world is really afraid of. oh and here’s a wonderfully sweet video to celebrate my fleeting return to the world of tbaoo. it’s found direct at http://youtu.be/o0XrU8wpFyg

here’s a teaser for the future … http://youtu.be/BBvIweCIgwk

When new technology is launched there are bound to be teething problems and devices never work quite the way they should do in the first few weeks after they hit the market.

Apple have had a few embarrassing incidents in the last few years, nearly all to do with their iPhone 4 for which was unusable in some areas due to its reception issues. Then there was the iPad which would heat up and literally burn its users fingers before turning off suddenly to cool off. This time, it is the launch of the iPhone 5 which has been causing a stir amongst its loyal fans. Although the actual phone works fine, the launch of its new maps app ( which Apple hope will replace Google Maps ) has come up against a few embarrassing problems. The app is riddled with mistakes and famous landmarks have been moved or completely disappeared, rendering it pretty useless for purpose in some instances. Here are our top 5 most hilarious Apple Maps fails ” there were many to choose from”

Blob in the Road

We are as clueless as you are to what exactly is happening in this image. There is obviously a car park involved but we wouldnít want to park our car there as it doesnít look too safe. What Apple appear to have done is install a hill or mountain below a flat car park area with very odd results!

Helsinki Central Railway Station… or Park?

For such an important landmark and one which will no doubt be searched for regularly, you would not expect the Helsinki Central Railway Station to disappear, however Apple have gone and done it. In place of this commuters lifeline, they have put a very pleasant park which would be lovely to relax in but not much use in getting you from one place to the next.

Powell Butte Natre Park Swallows Up Portland

Those people at Apple HQ must be real nature lovers as they have decided that a large area of Portland, Oregon is not really that important. They have decided that it would be much better use as an extension of the Powell Butt Nature Park and so have altered accordingly.

Crinkle Cut Bridge

This has to possibly be the best Apple map fail which tops all the others. Not only do Apple add things which do not exist to their maps and take away important things which do exist, they also design amazing new infrastructures which wouldnít look out of place in a theme park. This road bridge looks very scary and a huge amount of fun, all at the same time.

Berlin is in Antarctica?

Bearing in mind that this app is called Maps and its primary use is to educate and inform people, as well as help people get around, this is probably the most serious flaw going. Rather than just altering a few landmarks and national parks they have gone to great lengths to confuse us even more by, wait for it, moving Berlin to Antarctica. If the youth of today rely on Apple Maps as much as other technology, we will have a world of very misguided ( literally ) individuals in a few years time.

Author: This article was kindly provided by Alfie Davenport who works in the technology department at Ladbrokes Games. He was an avid iPhone user for years, but recently switched to Android. ( sad but true )

huge thanks to a regular tbaoo contributor – cheers oli. these really are odd and they fit just nicely .. 

A great advertising campaign can take many forms. It can be something as simple as a poster or as complex as… well, as you care to make it. That’s the wonderful thing about marketing; the only limits are your budget and imagination. Want to fill a car park with a giant paint-spill? Go for it. Want to rebrand a national snack in another country’s flag? Why not? Creative campaigns range from the dynamic, the interactive, to the funny, strange and simply baffling. Be it Vodafone hiring streakers to run across the pitch in the middle of a rugby game, or Adidas hiding the entire Ajax football team in a department store dressing room, the possibilities are limitless. Here we discuss 6 famous campaigns that took a decidedly dark route to promote their wares. Unsettling? Yes. Bad taste? Maybe. But effective? You bet.

Resident Evil 6

Whether you’re an avid fan or bored to death of the Resident Evil franchise, it was impossible to ignore the PR stunt for Capcom’s latest offering. Within the heart of East London’s Smithfield Meat Market, one butchers shop was transformed into the cleverly titled Wesker & Son Resident Evil Human Butchery and specialized in selling – you guessed it – human meat. Not actual bits of human, of course; but rather typical butcher’s meat moulded into very convincing heads, hands, feet and various other limbs – all fit for legal human consumption.

The Blair Witch Project

The Blair Witch Project was the single best viral campaign in the history of marketing. Dreamt up by two graduates with almost no budget, it created a buzz that was responsible for their lo-fi horror becoming the most-hyped film of 1999. Partly it was timing: the internet was just taking off in a big way and it was only a matter of time before someone harnessed its social power for promotion. But mostly it was talent: the duo displayed an unerring instinct for what to say, and how to say it, building an entire mythology that conspiracy theorists swallowed hook, line and sinker. Shaky clips, ‘expert testimony’, blurred photographs and ‘missing person’ posters all worked their macabre magic, turning a $15,000 film about dead teens into a $248 million blockbuster. The rest, as they say, is history.

Shadow Man 2

Back in the day, Acclaim Entertainment courted controversy like no other. Be it offering to pay all UK driving fines on the day of Burnout 2’s release, or bribing people to name their baby after their latest offering, the company made more of a name for itself with stunts than it did making games. But one gruesome example stands out from the rest: offering to pay people to place ads on their relative’s gravestones. Predictably, there was outrage. After waiting until they and their game were plastered over every news outlet in the world, Acclaim Entertainment withdrew the ‘offer’, thereby ending one of the most effective campaigns of the year without spending a penny.

The Last Exorcism

Eli Roth is not known for his subtlety, a trait which seemingly extends into his promotional work. Launched in the days when chat roulette was at its zenith, this viral convinced users they were logged into a conversation with a cute girl on the verge of stripping off. As people watched, the girl would falter, her eyes roll back and her face distort into an animalistic scream. After a suitable pause for pants-wetting, the film’s website would then flicker up onscreen. While it wasn’t a Blair Witch style success, the film did gross $67 million off a $1.8 million budget, thanks in part to this deeply disturbing marketing campaign.

The Sopranos

Depending on how clued-up you were, the Sopranos campaign was either witty or faintly unsettling. In 2007, cabs could be seen making their way around NYC, a suited Mafioso-type arm dangling from back, as if a body were (inexpertly) crammed inside the boot. While anyone stopping to take a closer look would notice the ‘HBO’ sticker beside it, we can’t help but wonder what tourists who had never even heard of the show thought of it all. Perhaps they just assumed NYC was living up to its reputation.

Benetton AIDS Campaign

As macabre stunts go, nothing will ever top Benetton’s tragic 1991 poster campaign, depicting AIDS activist David Kirby’s last moments with his grieving parents. Either a brave attempt to ignite discussion about a stigmatised condition, or a deeply cynical ploy to sell clothing, the moral ambivalence of Benetton’s poster only added to its notoriety. In recent years, Benetton have come under fire again and again for flying too close to the mark with subsequent campaigns; but none have ever had the same impact. Sad, morbid and unsettling, this is the most macabre of them all.

Thanks to Agency Central for their contribution. If you fancy your hand in working on creative projects, such as those listed above, then check out the wide array of marketing recruitment agencies on AgencyCentral.co.uk.

photo credit

wow, indeed. i’ve been away from the complicated tbaoo world and living in the intensely real one. i have so much active stuff underway it’s frantic. you may or may not be aware dear reader, but we lost our two old puppies a while back, well now we have two new members of the household – henry and hazel and aren’t they taking some careful management and time. the de-puppying of the house and garden has also taken a bit of time, hard work and an unnatural sweating.

so much so, that i’ve realised that walking the two terror-dactyls (as i like to call them ) twice a day and the confusing attempts at training and overall control, is demanding all of my energy. “i’m even losing weight”. getting out of bed at 05.00 and the rest of the enjoyable chaos means i have no time for tbaoo at the moment. i’ve also realised that the content for tbaoo is getting harder to find and the posting for posting sake is not really all that worthwhile or my style at the end of the day.

i’m going to take a break and if something really ridiculous, ( like our local mayor or the result of the american elections sparks a thought ), i’ll rest and train my wild little monsters and enjoy what others call a normal life. please have a look at my little puppies, although he – henry is getting bigger every minute. if you look away and then look back he’s just gotten bigger in front of you. both are a handful and the bride and i are very pleased to have such a handful.

so for now – later – cheers

i’ve been seriously distracted and as i keep banging on about, very active in my huge backyard. i’ve never been so freak’n active. sadly, well for me at least, this has reduced the fanatical and somewhat frenzied output from tbaoo.

today is no exception. i’ve cut shit down and i’ve also disturbed a bloody termites nest, so guess who’s next on the list of trade type professionals to invite around and give heaps of money to. i’m indulging in so much physical activity it’s a pain. a pain everywhere. so instead of writing some pithy drivel i’ve sourced a documentary that i’ve never seen or indeed knew anything about. it’s a two part wondrous look at “the wall” pink floyd really are the business. please enjoy while i rest.

direct link - http://youtu.be/zQVx1w4EfVE

and the second part – direct link – http://youtu.be/NpWnufgQy0g

photo credit

i’ve had to move the large photo of old bingo boy from the front page.  

what a fabulous day in the neighbourhood. i’m on call again, so that means i’m on call. i’ve had a number of calls and sadly i’m very distracted from tbaoo. as hinted at in previous posts dear reader, i’ve found that i have a backyard and i have things within it. the recent distraction was engaging a scottish man with a bobcat and a big scrapper thing. he was a master and reorganised the shity mess left by the patio slab construction and levelled the dust bowl into what i hope will be a far better place. it sure looks like one. 

i’ve also had a couple of serious home security folks around quoting on some new sliding screen doors and two hinged doors. all of this designed to keep the baddies out and when appropriate let poor old bingo in and out. the financial impact will require a serious modelling gig, or a serious armed robbery. as you might guess dear reader i’ll probably just go for the modelling gig. either way, i’ll pay for the satisfaction and peace of mind of being safe in my home. i hope.

so, what does all this sitting around, spending money and “on call calling” bring me to. acdc that’s who … let there be rock.

direct link .. http://youtu.be/_YhcBtCKSPs

photo credit

wow, i’ve been so distracted from tbaoo and my silly writing. you may have noticed dear reader that i’ve been running about home handyman’ing. digging unbelievable large, rock and clay ridden holes for my new trees and not writing any pithy writings for either. 

these freakn’n holes might as well have been created out of a concrete driveway or a service station forecourt. shit man, what did they make my block of land out of ? well they’re in, those four trees and i’ve also created a two new garden beds and sorted out the rainless crunchy yard that is my home.

i’ve also come to realise that this handy, hard back breaking work and my waving my tools around the place is severely cutting into my writing time. somehow i’ll find a balance between what used to be “no life” to “half and half a life”. getting out of the house more often is also a step to come. but dear reader, my bride and i managed to get out of the house the other night. we dolled ourselves up and taxied our way to jupiter’s casino on the gold coast. the reason, other than the almost unsuccessful attempt to enjoy a pint of guinness or three, was to catch eat pray laugh the farewell tour for barry humphries / dame edna / sir les paterson / sandy stone ( and even a new character father gerard patterson ) who all helped us to say goodbye. it was hilarious, very sad and incredibly exciting. farewell barry. you are the absolute master.

this is a sample of the brilliance that is barry barry humphries and his most famous protégé .. dame edna http://youtu.be/70tNKssLJKE

and yes there’s more .. http://youtu.be/yne47nDW1lM courtesy of official rove site http://RoveDaily.com.au

oh ok .. now here’s the champion of taste. all stand for sir les http://youtu.be/lWd41uPyxRw

photo credit

i’ve been busy and as i’ve said many a time before, i’m busy being busy. i’ve been out today buying some serious tools. so for those who are ready to laugh at me, or with me, i have purchased the following items. i did have some old hand me down rusty versions, incorrect size, as in never the right size for the job, broken and just plain old rubbish. so here we have the new tools: 

• 18v cordless driver dill, in a swank aluminium case with two batteries and a charger. 158 accessories including drill bits, screw driver heads, allen keys.
• 16 pieces of soft rubbery handled stanley screwdrivers
• 3 different sized adjustable wrenchy spanners
• 13 spanners
• tape measure
• a real hammer, with weight behind it

now would you believe i’ve used the drill successfully and whacked a bit of wood to get a feel for the weight of the hammer. whilst in this hardware blokey kinda place i bought two plants and created a garden bed this afternoon and mulched the crap out of it. so this is what it has become, i’ve done more of this handyman stuff in the last three weeks than the 16 odd years i’ve been in the house. things are changing, subtle things but they are changing.

so to celebrate i find a classic tool song and an eye popping video from tool. you know me it all relates somehow. my hand stank big time after the heavy duty digging, soil application and mulch manoeuvring. the direct link in case http://youtu.be/07pLGIgyfjw - warning it’s not a video for the kiddies or those with a “sunny flowers all day” kind of a disposition.