nothing really much to say, nothing happening, nothing much funny, well except for this tremendous video below. it landed upon my facebook universe ( thanks michelle ) and it has shaken a wide smile out of a slightly bored tbaoo. here’s a photo designed to break the mood. 

work continues, bills are pouring in and i’ve got to refinance a shit load of mortgage. a shit load is slightly less than truthful, it’s enough to run a small country for a year or so. but it won’t be that bad as i’ve got loads of ideas, but we’ll see if the lenders think my ideas are any good or not.

if you’re a lender, dear reader – please be as you claim to be and lend me some money …. my rates, my terms and my idea, no problem. i’ll pay it back when i can and trust me i will work all my efforts and screws to do so.

well, that’s it for today, i’ll just get back to the internet and browsing for home loans and friendly lenders ( while i wait for you ), please enjoy this little snippet of spangled speedo wearing and if you laugh or even just crack a smile – please pass it on.

http://youtu.be/PXYjgHC_Ycw  … just in case you can’t watch it – damn blasted copyright shit

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wow – we have a new friend here at the house of tbaoo …
this little baby birdie, breed unsure, but i think it’s a grey butcherbird ? has landed at our back door and demanded to be hand fed. i realise that’s the worst thing to do, but how could we resist. it takes a tiny piece of food right out of my fingers and talks to us in-between bites – amazing and heart warming. my bride has named he or she basil.

it’s official, i think i have a rampant case of obsessive compulsive disorder ( ocd ) and even though i look and sometimes sound a bit normal, i’m definitely not. those who are exposed to my excessive behaviour normally placate me and allow me to run free without restraint. this well meaning but deluded folk probably feel that letting me run like a pony though life will keep me calm, but alas i’m getting worse and i need reigning in. maybe a swift kick in the ribs as well.

this tremblingly excited need i have for symmetry, alignment, perfection ( even though i hardly ever achieve it ) drives me to a knife edged level of frustration when it doesn’t materialise. you would laugh at how silly it gets sometimes, you should see me trying to be a handyman, even though i strongly resist most of the time, sometimes i weaken and attempt a simple process only to find that i don’t have the temperament, skill, shirts, tools, desire or genetic make up to complete this simple task.

tantrums erupt, clothes become restrictive, tools fly and so does the colourful language and i don’t mean praising the warmth of the surroundings either. foul, rude, crude, imaginative, multi syllable, blasphemous, all with a full forced sputum retching engagement from a naughty ocd sufferer.

so what am i going to do ? well how about i relax, leave the handyman shit alone, i’ll get a messy influence, oops – i have one of those in my beloved bride. so i’ll just keep myself under control, leave the friendly folk that support me without restraint to continue to do so and i learn to enjoy the tightening of my disorder as it’s constricts around my daily life.

does anyone have the number of a home handyman helpful helper ?

oh and btw – my blood pressure turns out to be fine, although after reading this post you’d be shocked as to how. here’s how they do it in canada … http://youtu.be/03t9tnPNImw

ok i love google, i love youtube and i love apple. so that’s out of the way, here’s my gripe. i’ve been merrily posting top quality free range, funky, enlightening, sexy videos on tbaoo and basking in my cleverness, nowhere near inverness mind you and what do i find ?

no bugger in the key target markets for tbaoo and by that i mean the rest of world and not just australia, can see the freak’n things.

copyright is one thing, if i can see it and you dear foreigner, can see it, what can’t you see it on tbaoo when they’re presented in such a loving manner. well apparently it’s the copyright rules that seem to have been forced upon us all very recently. i’m shocked, what is the breach. who is responsible ?

the internet is global, google is global, well except for china, india, north korea etc – hang on, i see a trend forming here. maybe i’ll just have to post a link to the classy pictures and music i wish to share and hope that you’re not living in china, india, north korea etc.

btw .. if you are and i’ve spammed your non english speaking and rather odd comments, i’m sorry. it’s getting a bit hard to tell lately. if you wish to launder money though tbaoo please send an advance and i’ll check out your system, and spend the money on myself of course.

in conclusion … my family social fun has finished for now, thanks jimmy james and holly. the 24 hour blood pressure thingy has been returned, with the excessive results to be scrutinised and appropriate reaction provided. i suspect i’m moderate high with some very weird spikes during the 24 hours, and no it wasn’t from what you sex fiends might think. on a stranger note, the grass is becoming a “lawn” with my new lawn mower in use again today, it’s a lot better having great equipment.

the little blue pills, as some have suggested, might also assist in the equipment area and i have an contact in the sales department of a “firm” selling those forceful blue pills.

please click on this link and enjoy the meaty goodness that is provided by youtube. it’s the foo fighters in australia with some shit hot shots of the gold coast show, sadly i couldn’t attend but i hope a film comes out of the footage.

http://youtu.be/TNLhxlEU52c?hd=1

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a wondrous occasion as the four participants in the family troupe, traipsed out of the relative calm of an air conditioned hotel lobby out into the wild, sun scorched, blindingly tacky world of the gold coast. it has become excruciating in it’s continual grasping for the tourist dollar. the weather here has made up for the recent and seemingly never ending monsoon conditions and it was hot. so bleeding hot that my head grew horns just to shade itself, despite the groovy cap i had on. my bride managed to develop some lovely geometric shapes upon her person, shoulder, back and neck, although she didn’t grow horns, she did seek out shade. maybe i could have done that.

drawn by the steamy, salty and obscenely hot vista, we crushed our way through the grit on the newly surfaced beach promenade and boy it looked looked enticing, crunching in submission as we walked up to the edge. being the gold coast, the scene was dominated by about 10 scantily clad bikini girls, ( yes i know, but they were very brief bikinis ), and what looked like a dance routine being rehearsed and filmed by some very serious, black clad film crew, good choice of colour i thought. they even had a steady cam to ensure the only shaking going on was the hips and bits of the bikini girls. the rest of the poached, sunburnt, folding population just sat around and watched the show. of course the radiation attacking their fragile skin didn’t bother them either.

we sauntered and sautéed ourselves off to show our visitors the gold coast’s tacky strip at it’s finest. the stripper convention was in town as per normal and there was some “g rated” street entertainment to distract the mall rats roaming around. we of course ( read me ) were too distracted by the strippers walking about like they had some serious relaxing to do. not worrying about having too many layers makes their job easier.

i’m joking of course, the strippers were all indoors, they had probably just got to bed, these fancy nubile folk don’t live normal lives or reside within our time zones.

the colours of the gold coast become more vibrant the further you get away from the bleaching sand, the glare and salt spray, it just washes over everything. it has a blinding effect that “edge of the land” that really makes the gold coast such a tourist mecca, it’s too much for calm hermits like me, who don’t want to bake their exterior surfaces away or boil their eyes, people flock to oil themselves up and bake in such a way. the strippers do it after work at 06.00 or in the microwave tanning salons. waxing, primping, burning and sleeping all in one service i’ve heard. they even have a favourite salon called “tips – bits – blips and slips”

so here we were – hot, bothered, happy chatters wandering about a dubious vacation spot looking for rest and of course we ended up in a pub. cool beers, cider and orange juice for the designated driver i.e. my lovely bride. we think we’ve organised the relaxing of our guests and arranged things around it.

the afternoon rolled on and came to an end. i could hardly walk and i had a splitting headache, while realising that i’d not eaten anything by the time it ended, although it’s not from what you’d think. that light alcohol beer is a truly wonderful thing.

the morning leading up to the clothed baking in public had seen me mowing the 19 meter grass in my backyard. it was so high and thick that my 9 year old mower blew up, exploded with the cutting wheel shearing off, flying the buggery away from my legs thankfully and leaving me half done, a bit like when my hair trimmer did the same ( blew up i mean ) half way through my buzz cut. most difficult to repair that was. so my grass is melting, my body aching and i have to go off and buy new mower. i did and being steel instead of aluminum it weighed twice as much and nearly killed me as i struggled to guide it over the undone and then fix up the done. it looks good now and when i do it again, it’ll look fabulous, well as fabulous as my backyard can be.

so dear reader, i’ve now recovered. i’ve a yearning for relaxation indoors with plenty of food and cool water. i don’t have a need for strippers, dancing bikini clad girls, sand or surf. if you want to enjoy such things, may i suggest that you come to the gold coast and have some fun. fun in the sun. if you want some help in your personal grooming while you’re here make sure you go to “tips – bits – blips and slips” and tell them tbaoo sent you.

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what’s happening ? has tbaoo closed down, has it’s tormenter, muse or bur under the saddle retired ? well no. he’s just been lazy and relaxing away from the box that houses the apple. it’s been very odd actually, watching all sorts of other things burst on by and not reacting in much of way at all.

there’s still not much happening here and i haven’t heard about my resume’s landing, or the reaction it has caused. a bit like my tbaooing at the moment, a bit quiet.

so what to do, well a family member and his main squeeze will arrive here on the gold coast tomorrow and we’ll organise some fancy fun. where i’ll take them is still open for negotiation, but i think drinks, dinner, fun parks, sun, rain, shopping, mowing my 18 meter tall backyard grass and surfing may play a part, although i’ll only be involved in a couple of those things.

the bride of tbaoo will be the designated driver for most of it me thinks. but i know it’ll all be alright. we have to think about and discuss our guiding duties in full and establish a plan of attack. guinness is good for such thinking.

so, here’s a wonderful memory trigger to get things underway, even though it’s not xmas yet, it’s the thought and culture that counts .. merry xmas just in case i get caught out ( or up ) between now and december. good night and i’ll catch up after this rare social intercourse.

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( have i posted this tricky tune before ? i think i might have – oh well, here it is again )

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i have just sat here on my preordained backside watching and listening to today’s gold coast city council meeting – it is amazing to see this democracy at work. i could be my normal self and poke fun at the buffoonery, senility, odd behaviour and somewhat controlled excitement, but i won’t. it’s been a marathon session. the use of this technology places and then re-enforces the enormous power the community has in their hands. but gosh some of them are pretty dumb.

here’s a video passed onto me today, even though tbaoo was off air for a while. the size of the embedded video is a bit small, but that’s all the site offered, please look for a bigger version in “hd” – oops – scrap that i found a bigger and better version, you’ll be impressed like you’ve never been impressed before. hang on tight.

Check out Mpora Gear >>

as copied from mpora

This day at Teahupoo- Aug 27th 2011 during the Billabong Pro waiting period is what many are calling the biggest and gnarliest Teahupoo ever ridden. Chris Bryan was fortunate enough to be there working for Billabong on a day that will go down in the history of big wave surfing. The French Navy labeled this day a double code red prohibiting and threatening to arrest anyone that entered the water.

Kelly Slater described the day by saying “witnessing this was a draining feeling being terrified for other people’s lives all day long, it’s life or death. Letting go of that rope one time can change your life and not many people will ever experience that in their life.”

All images where shot by Chris Bryan using the Phantom HD Gold camera. To see more of Chris’ work check out his website. www.chrisbryanfilms.com - Music: Lower Your Eyelids to Die with the Sun’ by M83. by Chris Bryan

branches blew and trees spent over themselves to escape, while the soil was sodden with an excessive amount of innocent water. the green and gold and the obscenely bright sunshine has gone. it does seems that it will be missing for many weeks and it’s replacement unloading on those below it, for a very long time.

this change in local atmosphere has brought about a change.

change is good – normally – but this change is not so good. people are trapped, in some cases by the rising water itself, or in others trapped inside by a boredom they have not experienced before. this gloomy cloud-like fog bearing down on upon them is not the the norm for my fellow gold coasters. it maybe the norm for tbaoo.

i don’t mean that tbaoo is a maudlin, remorseful sadly encased soul, it’s just that i don’t go outside much and certainly only when it’s required. the glaring truth is that i don’t have the wish or need to do so. i can enjoy the world from my wet dog impacted, slightly chaotic, cluttered (not my choice ) domain and refresh myself with interesting things that others find less than refreshing or interesting.

the major problem here at the moment is the sheer volume of water that’s cutting roads, flooding waterways of all types and that it’s creating new waterways, right through people’s homes, business and sporting arenas.

today as i trip round to the shops to get my lotto and newspapers, i’ll discover ( i sneaked a look online ) that the man with the power ( see my post here ) has dropped out of the race for mayor. this man has really upset someone, as the local media has the lowdown on all the so called public figure’s private “get togethers and bits bumping”, what caused them to reveal this sexy “tit bit” when the foibles of others are ignored, intrigues me. my foibles may be well hidden, but then i’m not running for office or likely to.

i thought while watching the rain fall and waters rise, that when my reason for “resume rejigging” reaches the next step ( if i’m lucky enough ) they may search through facebook, twitter, tbaoo or my web design tooling and make a decision about me.

i wonder dear reader what decision would they arrive at ? what would they think of the material that squirts out at them. without meeting me, they may think i’m a rather silly, fatuous, cynical, outrageously good looking fellow and keen to debunk the largest fraud brought upon mankind. maybe after reaching this decision they’ll give me the job, maybe not.

now i can’t give too much away, of course i can’t say anything about it really, but rather strangely the current ( a water pun ) meteorological situation and our organised response to it’s dramatic implosion on our local environment, is so very closely linked to my wish for a new challenge. what an amazing coincidence.

the garden space here at the house of tbaoo looks drenched and starved of warmth, the bedraggled plants, stuff loosely described as grass and “everybloody” thing else, waits patiently for tbaoo to either obtain and apply a career change – or mumble through the next step. all without going outside at the moment, it is raining after all.

it’s amazing, the south east of queensland australia is nearly underwater. tbaoo is floating, surviving, surfing the rain, smoking cigarettes, internetting and watching with alarmed interest the peculiar going’s on. it seems like a tremendously frightening thing and i’m very lucky that aside from what appears to be a slight leak in the roof, i’m doing ok.

note. i did send the bride out in the torrential downpour to do the weekly shopping, but she loves her shopping, how could i stop her from doing so.

back to this unerring water based attack on my house, which seems to occur when rain is swept at 100 kilometres on hour, on a horizontally target aim at my metal roof. the water is blown under the roof and then gravity kicks in and it drips or pours down to a low point, which coincidentally is right above me and has caused damage to my lovely ceiling.

i will be monitoring the situation and when i can, i’ll employee a handy soul to fix this damp spot and check the entry points. until then i have a bucket poised at the ready, hoping that it ain’t required. a neighbour had to borrow a mattock to create a drainage channel from his back door to divert the growing lake to drain at a more appropriate spot, i was glad to help, but i stayed warm and dry inside my cave, whilst he did not. he fixed it, so life has returned to it’s relatively calm state here in the street, although while typing this, my bride has not yet returned from the shops.

i’ll be ready to consul, dry off and assist by carrying in the shopping and admiring my bride’s resolve. of course the yummy treats she’ll have purchased, will be be consumed with glee.

so to celebrate this weathering the weather and the flow on effects, here is a classic australian rock tune. the copyright situation is really giving me the shits, so i hope you can watch it.  good afternoon and please stay dry, look up and have a bucket handy.
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it’s a bit early i know, but january 26 – australia day is here very soon and a traditional australian celebration is the eat lamb campaign with the ever so subtle sam kekovich.

below is as copied from youtube …

After years travelling the world on his one-man crusade against unAustralianism, Sam Kekovich has realised the job is too big for him and his dodgy knees alone. Old-fashioned diplambacy just isn’t cutting it in this day and age. So it’s time to change his tune and embrace popular culture. If UnAustralianism has gone viral, Sam’s only antidote is to do the same.

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