The Teaching Annex

Make Millions a Year! Just by Inventing the Personal Computer

2011-04-09T14:07:00.000-07:00

Q: What do Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have in common?
A: They’ve made billions!
Q: How?
A: Let me explain. You see—
Q: Good. Because—
A: Let me finish. They made a fortune by inventing the personal computer!

It’s true what they say: in Silicon Valley, there’s gold in dem dar hills! But why make money designing software for computers, when you could invent the computer itself!

Sorbeth Randbo is the world’s only computer expert. His class will teach you how to build an affordable, easy-to-use computer that people will want to bring into their homes. He’ll show you how to invent concepts like the “cursor” and the “desktop” that make the computer easier to interact with than the hulking data processors of the past.

These techniques for inventing the personal computer are surefire winners! They worked for Bill Gates, now put them to work for you!

Sorbeth Randbo is the world’s only knowledge base for information related to computers.
Course 010101
Sec. A March 6 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Hey Millionaire! Become an Eccentric Millionaire!

2011-04-08T14:07:00.000-07:00

You got rich by thinking outside the box. You didn’t play by the rules when you were making your money (unless you were a professional athlete) so why play by the rules while spending it?!

Sir Von Brandenburg De Clave
is the author of many books
written in lamb’s blood on
shredded wheat.

Sir Von Brandenburg De Clave — one of America’s most eccentric millionaires — can teach you how to get more out of being rich by “Brakin’ ull du Rulz!” As his patented catchphrase suggests, Sir De Clave isn’t a fan of conventions, button-down traditionalism, or spelling. And you shouldn’t be either! Unless it’s some roundabout way of rebelling!

Your $$ gives you something regular people don’t have: the chance to blow your $$ on crazy schemes!

You’ll learn:

Why take a car when a monorail will do?
To throw money away on go-nowhere pet projects in the arts! Space exploration! Chewing gum that stops time!
Invent a mermaid, then marry her!

Course 7999
Sec. A March 24 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

What’s That You Say? Pretending to be Deaf Has Financial Advantages?

2011-04-07T14:04:00.000-07:00

Mr. Beeswillster

Deaf people can hear something you can’t: prosperity! But why should the aurally-challenged have all the fun of having all the money? You deserve a muffled piece of the action, and Garnett Beeswillster’s course will show you how to serve up a hefty slice of “deaf pie!” To yourself!

Pretending to be deaf could make you the richest man in the world! Sound crazy? Yes! But not if you pretend not to hear it! If you cash in on this “unheard of” offer, the sound of all the money you’ll make will be deafening! For real this time! Metaphorically speaking.

The only thing “hard” about pretending to be hard of hearing is how “hard” of hearing you’ll pretend to be!

You’ll learn:

You don’t have to pay for something if you can’t hear the price-tag!
That deaf people can’t hear anything, not even the verdicts of lawsuits against them!

Garnett Beeswillster is a non-practicing unlicensed “attorney,” and the author of Hearing AIDS & Hearing Cancer: Who Needs a Doctor When You’ve Got Ears?

Course 7314
Sec. A March 1 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Pursue a Career in Earning Money by Cashing in on Making a Fortune!

2011-04-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

How often have you thought about maximizing your potential by creating an opening and living the dream of a lifetime once and for all?

Have you ever wanted to take your career to the next level by unlocking your ability to seize control of your future potential?

Porflub Dorwilliger is the inventor of the
Successtron 2300 Career Embetterment
Program and 17 other theoretical
achievement prototypes.

No matter what your field of expertise, you can make your money work harder for you by talking to anyone, anytime, anywhere about anything on your way to becoming you own boss! This class will give you hundreds of straightforward tips for making it easy to simplify streamlining your earning power… in under 30 seconds!

“Success-pert” Porflub Dorwilliger has spent the last ten years coaching people just like you to cultivate a powerful network of contacts to help facilitate the transition to a supercharged career in upping your cash quota! Don’t wait! Make big money by identifying your unique code to unleashing your “millionaire’s mindset” so you can meet financial success head on on your own terms!

Course 4976
Sec. A April 24 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Make $$$$ in Business! Not just $$$!

2011-04-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

Are you making $, but feel that you’re worth $$, or even $$$? What if you could be making as much as $$$$ (that’s right: quadruple your $!) in less than a year?

It’s possible, if you follow Y. P. Crease’s “Money-Related Plan for Success!” Many courses offer plans for doubling your $. That’s nothing new. High-priced business schools teach their students how to turn $$ into $$$. But only Crease’s M-R.P.f.S. is proven to turn whatever $ you have lying around into $$$$. And if you have $$ available to invest, look out! You could walk away from this course with $$$$$ or even two separate sets of $$$ and $$$ (that’s nearly $$$$$$!)

Y. P. Crease is a financial expert and the author of Discover the Millionaire Within You, Then Take His Money.

Course 7432
Sec. A April 13 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Live Like a Millionaire! On Just $990,000 a Year!

2011-04-04T13:58:00.000-07:00

Everette Hertfase is a millionaire
inside, because he has the love of
two beautiful daughters. He is a
millionaire on the outside because
his wife is a millionaire.

Own your own yacht, live in a mansion, sleep with the type of woman who only sleeps with millionaires! You CAN have it all, and you DON’T have to be a millionaire to do it.

Everette Hertfase has never made a million dollars in one year, but you wouldn’t know that by looking at him! He lives the “millionaire’s lifestyle,” on only nines of hundreds of thousands of dollars a year! In this course, he’ll teach you how to “fool” a very high six-figure salary into thinking it’s a seven-figure one!

Learn:

That nobody spends every cent they earn in a given year
That the difference between 990,000 things and one million things is relatively slight
That you can put money in “savings” and “accrue interest” over “time.”

Course 3122314
Sec. A March 14 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

How to Start a Successful Thing That People Want to See or Use or Whatever

2011-04-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

Do you have things that are neither here nor there? With the right something could those things maybe really be here, if we see what you’re saying?

Ike Wallpante has a lot of
"things," or whatever, that he
has told to groups of people
in the past.

Ike Wallpante certainly sees what you’re saying, and he can help turn that thing into a thing that’s successful that lots of other people will look at or think about or something!

Growing up where he did, Mr. Wallpante had to learn early that telling people about whatever could come at the cost of something. And he wasn’t wrong!!! There are literally a number of things that you NEED to know if you want to turn that stuff from a thing into another more important thing.

Stop not doing things that could make your stuff into stuff that other people will see and/or use or even hear! Start today toward a place that is better than there!

Course 54646
Sec. A March 16 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

How to Make $300 Million in 30 Days by Spending $30 Million!With the Caveat That, at the End of the 30 Days, You Can’t Own Anything, and You’re Not Allowed to Tell Anyone What You’re Doing!

2011-04-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

How many times have you been told that you’re the sole heir to one of the richest men in the country, and that he just died, leaving you a quarter of a billion dollars? But it seems like you can never get that money unless you accomplish an exceedingly convoluted high-concept task that strains the bounds of believability but provides plenty of opportunity for comic set-pieces, am I right?

Monty Brewster knows firsthand how tough it can be to inherit a fortune and then have to spend a small percentage of it in an arbitrary time period. He had to deal with the capricious whims of a dead tycoon and the reproaches of a beautiful woman who might just have wound up helping him. In the end, he got his millions, and you can too!

Brewster’s course will teach you:

That a good motto is “While you don’t have to be crazy to blow $30 Million in 30 days, it helps”
How to watch out for supporting characters who will profit from your failure
Whatever you do, don’t give John Candy any of your money, for fear that he’ll invest in the stock market and ruin your chances of success at the end of the 2nd act.

Montgomery “Monty” Brewster was a minor league baseball player who didn’t know he had a millionaire uncle until the man passed away.

Course 549
Sec. A March 9 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

How To Use Intentional Typos as Legal Loopholes… Garanteed!

2011-04-01T13:02:00.000-07:00

What if you could make ANY guarantee you wanted, without being held legally responsible… guaranted! Now you can, thanks to Leslie Twy-Spornk and her patented system of “typography” – an amazing new technique for using ordinary typos as fool-proof leagal loop-holes.

Ms. Twy-Spornk personally promisses that after taking her class, you will never again be held legally responsible for failing to live up to your written promises.

Leslie Twy-Spornk is a leading expert
in the field of misleading people.
She has served as a consultent for famous
politiciens, celebraties, and atheletes.

You’ll learn:

Witch kind of typos are the hardest to spot
Which words are the most important to intentionally mispell

And remember, if you’re not 100 precent satisfied with your learing experience, you’ll get your money back, no questians asked!

Course 87552
Sec. A March 1 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Make Plagiarism Work for You!

2011-03-31T13:47:00.000-07:00

Orange Julius: it’s the most successful blended orange juice and milk beverage franchise of the last twenty years! And now — in this eye-opening class — professional forward thinker Bo Knifeworthy will dare to ask: who’s next to have their house of failure blown down by the Julius’ financial whirlwind of money?

Bo Knifeworthy is the author
of John Updike’s Run Rabbit, Run.

The Julius worked for oranges, and oranges are just fruit, so why can’t it work for you? Bo Knifeworthy has examined current trends and he thinks he knows how to tell which products he believes stand a chance to be next in line to possibly become the Julius’ new victim of success! Will it be the apple? The breadloaf? The orange again? You’ll have to take the class to find out for sure!

By getting in early on the ground floor of the next great Julius enterprise from the beginning, you can put yourself in a position to start making money hand over Julius! And then some!

Course 452
Sec. A April 2 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

The Julius: It Worked for Oranges, Who’s Next?

2011-03-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

Orange Julius: it’s the most successful blended orange juice and milk beverage franchise of the last twenty years! And now — in this eye-opening class — professional forward thinker Bill Abe will dare to ask: who’s next to have their house of failure blown down by the Julius’ financial whirlwind of money?

Bill Abe

The Julius worked for oranges, and oranges are just fruit, so why can’t it work for you? Bill Abe has examined current trends and he thinks he knows how to tell which products he believes stand a chance to be next in line to possibly become the Julius’ new victim of success! Will it be the apple? The breadloaf? The orange again? You’ll have to take the class to find out for sure!

By getting in early on the ground floor of the next great Julius enterprise from the beginning, you can put yourself in a position to start making money hand over Julius! And then some!

Bill Abe has predicted a number of the biggest trends of the last decade, including “coffee shops selling gum” and “things being either hot or not.”

Course 45646
Sec. A March 13 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Chaironomics: You’re Sitting on a Fortune!

2011-03-29T13:34:00.000-07:00

How would you like to make money just by sitting around? This is not an unfunny joke! We’ve all heard of “economics,” so it’s a shock that nobody ever thought of “chaironomics” before. But now they have! And ‘they’ is famed outsider financier Glorn Venswap.

Chaironomics is the unique fiscal theory that asks the question: “We all sit down in chairs sometimes, so where is that money going?!” Glorn Venswap believes that the answer to that question is “Why not you?!”

He’ll cover:

Sitting your way to financial independence
Upholstering your way to low interest rates
Not leaning back your way to economic pitfalls
And other stuff!

Glorn Venswap has won four Dollary Awards for his groundbreaking work in the field of money. He is the author of Oreganomics: Unlocking the Financial Power of Your Spice Cabinet.

Course 8303
Sec. A March 24 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

How to® Trademark™ Everyday “Words and Phrases”©

2011-03-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

How would you like to make enormous profits whenever other people speak?™ You can, just by trademarking™ the “words and phrases”© that we all use® everyday!

There’s never been a better time™ to take® advantage of people’s habits of saying things that they always say®, and Mary Donald Plymouthsmith can show you how™! Mrs. Plymouthsmith has made a fortune© off copyrighting such commonly-used words as “fortune”© and® “and”®! And® now it’s your turn!

In this informative class, you’ll learn:

How to trademark™ a word
How to have trademarked™ all it’s various conjugations
How to repeatedly© use your copyrighted words repeatedly© to repeatedly© insinuate them into the public vernacular
Trademarking™ punction marks?™ Yes!
And® more!

Mary Donald Plymouthsmith has earned® over $140,000 by suing™ people for repeatedly© using her trademarked™ “words and phrases.”© She previously taught a Teaching Annex course on winning frivolous lawsuits.
Course 736465
Sec. A March 19 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Add Flair To Any Conzept:Just By Adding a Z!

2011-03-27T13:25:00.000-07:00

Do you have an idea? Is it boring and lame? There is a solution other than having a better idea! The answer to your problem is right in front of you. Can you see it? Or rather, can you “Z” it?

In this inZtructional and amaZing claZZ, veteran excitementor Amot Fliona will teach you how to add zing to any concept, just by adding a Z! It’s as simple as riding a bike. Or multiple bikz!

Amot is the mastermind behind such groundbreaking ideas as “Baseball Batz,” “Hamz and Cheez,” and “The Hang-Gliderz Guild.” Now, for the first time ever, he’s willing to share his zecrets to zuccesz with zou!

You’ll learn:

Amot Fliona

How to have ideas that contain words that contain the letter ‘S’
How to turn any ‘S’ into a ‘Z’ using Amot’s patented “switching the two letters” process
And so much more!

Amot Fliona is a Phoenix-renowned trendspotter and creatively designated culture assignmentist. He is the author of X: Your X-Factor to X-Citing X-Citement! and S-oteric: The Death of a Letter.

Course 1953
Sec. A April 24 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Find the Career That’s Right For You To Pretend to Have on Your Internet Dating Profile!

2011-03-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

Are you a fork-lift repairman? A toy-crane prize replenisher? A novelty wild-west themed bartender at a state-line casino? Are you, in other words, one of the millions of Americans who are embarrassed about their jobs? It doesn’t have to be that way! Lorange Gumdroop will show you that you can have any career you want! According to your internet dating profile.

There are hundreds of interesting, fulfilling jobs out there just waiting for you to pretend to have! Imagine: you could go to work every morning feeling good about yourself, knowing that strangers think you do something more interesting than you actually do, and hoping they won’t find out the truth
until after they’ve already slept with you! Or at least given you a hand-job!

You’ll learn:

What the job you say you have says about you
That everybody likes a “graphic designer”
And more!

You can’t buy this kind of fake-job satisfaction. Except now you can!

Lorange Gumdroop is a certified careerier and author of the book Paging Doctor You! Become A Doctor In Under Four Hours.

Course 45
Sec. A March 23 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Make Money as an “Arsonist of Buildings”

2011-03-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

Did your career turn out exactly as you’d planned, only you planned it while you were drunk? If so, Professor Dexter Loudermilker has the solution. He can teach you everything you need to know to become an “Arsonist of Buildings.”

Dexter Loudermilker

You could make as much as twice what you’re making at your current job, and we’re talking making money here and not making whatever product you make at your current manufacturing job! And that’s to say nothing of the satisfaction that comes with a “building” well “arsoned.”

“Arsonist of buildings” is one of the fastest growing professions in the U.S, just behind “Bench Repainter.” But who wants to spend their life painting benches for a second or even third time?

You’ll learn:

The 10 secrets of successful “arsonists”
Which “buildings” to target
“Of” many other great suggestions!

Professor Dexter Loudermilker has also been employed as an “Embezzler of Money” and a “Blow-upper of Government Dams.”

Course 79664
Sec. A April 1 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Kicking Ass and Taking Names! The Exciting New Field of Extreme Polling

2011-03-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

Do you like getting information, but think that asking is for sissies? Have you ever heard of the “extreme polling movement?” If no, does that sound like something you’d be interested in learning more about? If yes, can I ask you just a few more questions?

Did you know that extreme polling was invented by Churt Ballast? Have you heard that many modern polls fail because of high “refusal to participate” rates? Did you know that Churt Ballast believes that pollsters need to start getting more violent and aggressive? Are you aware that he likes to say it’s time to “say no to taking no for an answer?”

Which of the following would you be interested in learning about in this exciting and informative evening?

The “I’m not askin’” method of askin’
The “me and this army” method of gesturing to your fist
The “right in the face” method of hitting a guy with a metal rod.

Churt Ballast has been president of the Haverstock Polling Agency since its founder left town one day and hasn’t been heard from since. He is the author of the book How to Punch The President in the Nuts.

Course 8303
Sec. A March 13 7:30-10:00pm
Sec. B March 14 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Insurance Fraud: The Entirely Legal Way to Make Money!

2011-03-23T09:15:00.000-07:00

Glenford Hourly

How would you like to have — and spend — more money than you know how to spend? Well, the entirely legal answer is right in front of your face, and its name that you’re looking at is insurance fraud!

In this exciting class-style circumstance, Glenford Hourly will teach you his one hundred percent legal moneymaking plan for defrauding insurance companies by lying to them and forging important documents!

The only thing illegal about insurance fraud is how illegal how much money you’ll be making doing it ought to be but isn’t! The one question you’ll have about this unquestionably legitimate practice is why isn’t everyone doing it? The answer: probably because they’re scared that it’s too legal or whatever!

Glenford Hourly is the author of the book Hand Grenades: The Entirely Safe Way Build a Bigger Basement.

Course 4657
Sec. A March 1 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Become a Master Salesman! Sell Ice to Eskimos!

2011-03-22T09:13:00.000-07:00

For the fourth time in the last five years, The Teaching Annex is proud to present the legendary Firth K. Bewdetter’s once-in-a-lifetime class on becoming a master salesman. Bewdetter will teach you the ten tricks of good salesmanshipery. Once he’s done with you, you’ll be able to sell ice to Eskimos. And that’s just the start of it! He’ll go on to teach you how to sell ice to practically everyone! Golfers, boat owners, even architects!

Firth Bewdetter a long time ago

When you’re done with this class, the legendary Bewdetter will have taught you how to sell ANY KIND OF ICE to ANYONE at ANY TIME! That’s his AAA Guarantee for ice-related sales transactions!

You’ll learn:

How to “put the sale on ice”
How to develop an “icy” relationship with your customer
How to convince people to “buy ice from you”
And much more!

The legendary Firth K. Bewdetter is one of America’s most legendary sales-legends. He is the author of several best-selling books, including Clothing the Deal: Turning a Lisp to Your Advantage in Retail Fashion and The Best Selling Book.

Course 6865
Sec. A March 19 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

How to Get ANY Job You Want! In the Field of Tar Production

2011-03-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of people out there who are happy to tell you what you can’t do. You can’t quit your job even though you hate it. You can’t expect to love what you do. You can’t have the career of your dreams. Well, Buck Manifest doesn’t think that way! And in this inspiring, two-day seminar he’ll show you how to get ANY job you want! In the field of tar production.

You do have a choice! That’s the uplifting message of this amazing class/life experience. As long as you’re willing to put in the work, there is absolutely nothing you can’t accomplish! As far as manufacturing tar goes.

Buck will help you understand that once you understand what he understands, the possibilities for your life are limitless! Assuming said possibilities involve tar.

Buck Manifest is a motivational speaker who has lectured all around the world in America. He previously taught the sold-out Teaching Annex class How to Get Your Dream Job! In Shopping Cart Collection.

Course 3754
Sec. A March 18-19 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Turn That Hobby of Buying and Selling Real Estate Into a Lucrative Business

2011-03-20T09:06:00.000-07:00

Pretend, for a moment, that you quit your job and started making money just by doing the things you like to do for fun. Now pretend that you weren’t just pretending, but actually doing it! Now pretend that you weren’t pretending that second time either!

Gloran Bogrot

What seemed like a pipe dream can now be a real dream… no pipes about it! Career planner Gloran Bogrot can teach you how to turn your hobby of buying and selling real estate into a lucrative business!

It sounds improbable, but Ms. Bogrot personally guarantees that she can — and will — teach you how you can — and will — create a thriving financial enterprise out of your recreational pastime of purchasing valuable real estate properties, fixing them up, and putting them back on the market — and will!

Gloran Bogrot is a top senior captain of financially-themed business career networking opportunities for successful corporate monetary concerns.

Course 654
Sec. A April 8 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Make Money Just By Measuring Stuff! And Putting it into Little Baggies!

2011-03-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

You may already possess the necessary skills to be making as much as four-and-
a-half figures a year! It’s such a sure thing, it’s “in the baggie!” And we aren’t “stuffing” around!

Local group-of-affiliated-people leader D’Robert Chicago will teach you how you could be making all that money… just by measuring stuff and putting it into little baggies! You probably measure five grams of stuff and put it into little zip-lock baggies without spilling any of it all the time, so why not get paid for it!?

There has never been a better time to get involved in the stuff-trade, so what are you waiting for!? In this informative class, you’ll learn about:

Little baggies
Stuff
Understanding that if I catch you stealing any, I swear to God I will slice you for real
And more!

D’Robert Chicago has sold stuff to people for a certain number of years. He’s crazy, though. He might totally stab you.

Course 647
Sec. A April 6 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Get Your Start in the Exciting Field of Appearing as an Extra in My Furniture Commercial

2011-03-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

This year alone, millions of Los Angelesianos will see at least one TV ad for Big Ed “Edward” Gulligan’s Furniture Emporium Warehouse Depot. And what do you think they’ll notice, besides the great deal on patent-leather sofa and love-seat combos, practically being given away for the low, low price of $459? And besides the “No Credit? No Problem! No kidding? No!” guarantee, which no other store in the Southland can beat? That’s right! After those amazing offers, what people will notice next are the small figures in the background, behind the furniture. And now, thanks to this revolutionary class taught by me, “Edward” Gulligan, you will learn how you can get your foot in the door of the exciting field of being one of those small figures!

Be prepared: this is a hands-on learning experience. Most of the class will take place on the set of one of my furniture commercials. While there, you will learn — first hand — how to be an extra in one of my furniture commercials… all for the low, low price of $49! Please don’t attend if you belong to any unions or anything.

Big Ed “Edward” Gulligan is owner of The Furniture Emporium Warehouse Depot. He’s slashing prices so you don’t have to slash your wrists in despair over high prices!
If you can’t afford these prices, what are you? Homeless or something?

Course 6546
Sec. A March 2 5:30am-11:30pm
Sec. B March 3 5:30am-11:30pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Put the “I” Back into Strip-Mining

2011-03-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when your mass strip-mining operation was about more than just unearthing mineral deposits after first removing the layers of earth above them in a manner that is similar to open-pit mining in many regards? Do you remember when it was about you? Or, as ‘you’ call yourself, ‘I’?

Well you can’t spell ‘strip-mining’ without ‘I’, and Ard Houghterdoff hasn’t forgotten that fact. That’s why he developed this groundbreaking class to help you rediscover your personal relationship with ground-breaking.

He’ll teach you how to “strip-mine your soul” and “find loopholes in the Surface Mining Control and Reclamation Act of 1977 of your heart” to make removing colossal quantities of soil and rock as much fun as it was when you were a boy!

Ard Houghterdoff is owner of EarthCo Mining Corporation Company and author of the upcoming memoir What’s Mine is Mine. He is the originator of the popular bumper sticker “Keep your laws off my multimillion dollar mining concern!”

Course 564
Sec. A March 13 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99

Methane Leakage from the City Dump A Goldmine That Smells Like Farts!

2011-03-16T08:56:00.000-07:00

What’s that you’re smelling? Is it farts? Or is it cold, hard cash? It could be both! What if somebody were to tell you that there was a goldmine sitting untouched on the outskirts of your town? Are you the kind of person who would just sit there pressing your middle fingers together like a loser, or are you the kind of person who would do something about going to your computer and signing up for a class to learn a little more about it?

If you’re the first kind of person, then you can stop reading right now. Unless you’re the first kind of person, but you’re also the kind of person who can be easily talked into things. Either way, if you’re the second kind of person — in either the former or current paragraph — then you’ll be interested in what “Doctor” Arnvod Pettigout has to say about methane gas, aka “nature’s gold.”

You’ll learn:

That he who smelt it, ‘gelt’ it
That ‘gelt’ is an old term for money
That ‘smelt’ can be a verb that relates to extracting metals (such as gold) from their ore, but not in this case.

“Doctor” Arnvod Pettigout is author of two best-selling flyers, Methane Gas: It’s a Literal Gas! and Methane Gas: It’s a Figurative Gas!

Course 6789
Sec. A April 24 7:30-10:00pm
Member’s course fee $34.99 / Course fee $49.99