Turning mortals into gods, and nice guys into Stravassholes.

A good number of folks around here have become obsessed with the phenomenon known as Strava.  Using a gps device, you can track your rides, and compare your times to other riders.   What otherwise would be just another patch of dirt or road, becomes a proving ground for virility and bragging rights.  Acronyms like “KOM” (King of the Mountain) and “PR” (Personal Record) have become commonplace verbage among Strava dorks and stalkers.  Yes, you can stalk your favorite athlete via their Strava updates.  Like a sad little voyeur, you can see if Sonya Looney really climbed Lick Skillet twice, or if Heather Irmiger still holds the QOM for Poorman’s).   I get updates on Taylor Phinney’s ride in the Giro d’ Italia.  Vicarious living is what it’s come to.  But you know what?  It’s kinda fun.

In Dan’s words:

‘”Ignoring my inner voice telling me to slow down on the Betasao link descent, I thought of a couple of new words:

Strava-ing: Doing something completely stupid in pursuit of a segment PR (note: a PR in the bottom half of overall rankings in no way dampens one’s enthusiasm)

“I was so Strava-ing on that descent today”

Strava’d:  when gravity snaps you back to reality.

“Dude, I was definitely gonna break Geer’s Betasao descent time, but then I Strava’d. I’ll be eating solids again in 6 weeks when they remove the wires. I’m gonna be so buff.”

Stravasshole :  an individual Strava-ing at the expense of common courtesy.

“The Alchemist guys are usually really nice, but that guy was a stravasshole”‘

We are working hard in the Alchemist Lab to devise fancy new devices to improve our Strava times.  It’s a work in progress.

Developed for the Betasso Link descent

Developed for the climb up Flagstaff

Not sure what this is for, but we are pretty sure it will make you faster

Alchemist podium

Team Alchemist had a great weekend in Fruita at the Desert R.A.T.S. race.  A bunch of top podium spots.  Ken defended his Men’s 30-39 title from last year.  Ryn won the 30-39 women’s group.  Jenn won the 40-49 women’s group.  Becky took third in her first mountain bike race ever.  Congrats Team Alchemist!

Ken’s race report:

Desert R.A.T.S. Report: Alchemist Train Chugs to Multiple Age Group Wins

The Team Alchemist effort at the Desert R.A.T.S. (Race Across The Sand) on May 12th started with a flat, but ended with multiple podium finishes.  The out and back race is contested on the Kokopelli trail starting in Rabbit Valley, CO and turning around near the “Cisco Disco” in Cisco, UT.  The course consists of mostly smooth double track with several rocky technical sections.

We got to the pre-race safety meeting 15 minutes before start and I realized my sidewall had a slice in it, and was bubbling out Stan’s.  Since it was the only tire I had, I decided I needed to boot / duct tape the slice, and put in a tube.  That was when the Alchemist Pit Crew (actually the other Alchemist racers) flung into action.  How many people does it take to fix a flat?  6 – Chris Castilian, Stuart Walsworth, Jon Pulley, Becky Anderson, and Ryn Kreidl all took over and put everything back together, and rumor has it, Jenn Dice got a video of the teamwork.  Luckily the race starter, delayed the start a few seconds, but once we got it inflated he said, “OK, we’ll start in 8 seconds” and we were off.  

Chris Castilian led the Alchemist Train out of the blocks and put us comfortably in the 2nd group of 7 riders, with 5 other riders going off the front, and not seen again until the turnaround.  After about 10 minutes, Chris told us his work as the locomotive engineer was done, and he settled in to a more comfortable pace.  On the way out to Cisco, Disco Stu, JP, and I took turns pulling the train, but couldn’t drop the 2 stowaways.  We made a quick turnaround in Cisco and had about a 10 second gap on the 2 other riders.  We got into our 3-person paceline, pressed on the pedals a little extra, and were able to increase the gap to 1 minute quite quickly.  We held the gap the rest of the race, and got that extra boost of energy from Deb Pulley (volunteering since she is recovering from surgery) and Tom Dice (out of the race after braking his chain multiple times) at the last aid station.  Stuart was feeling frisky and kept the pace high through the last 2 climbs and Jon kept up nicely, while I struggled to keep up.  They took a minute to enjoy the nice scenery, and allowed me to gather myself.  We crossed the line together, and finished 6th, 7th, and 8th overall.  Luckily for me, the 30s category was a little thin, so I won the 30s, while they came in 4th and 5th in the 40s.  Chris kept the pedals moving after pulling us along at the start, and finished 22nd overall.  They didn’t come home empty handed though, as they all won water bottles in the post-race raffle.

After the race Stuart said, “Jon Pulley has been closet training all year.  He was super smooth in the sand.  Way to crush JP!!!”  Jon drew the stink-eye from Jenn last year after his famous Mountain Flyer quote about the course being well marked http://www.mountainflyermagazine.com/view.php/desert-rats-classic.html .  He noted it was “perhaps not as well signed as last year!” as we all made several small wrong turns this year, including a nasty 2 MPH crash by Disco.  

The ladies did not disappoint in their race as well.  Jenn pushed the pace early, and Ryn pushed hard to keep up.  They worked together and “girled” rider after rider.   They quickly found themselves in the top half of the pack, and in 3rd place in the women’s race.  Becky was competing in her first mountain bike race, so started at the back, but quickly found her rhythm and left many a slowpoke behind.  On the last few climbs, Ryn started acting like a Walsworth and hammered up the hills.  They finished together, placing 3rd and 4th in the women’s race, and each won their age category.  Becky stayed steady the whole race and finished 3rd in her age group, and was already pointing out areas where she could have gone faster. 

Ryn was proud of her effort after the race and mentioned, “the key to winning is picking your races well.  Now I am no longer the only one in the Kreidl family without a 1st place finish!”  Her sons, Max & Luke, have already engraved a few wins on their race resumes, including the Bolder Boulder, Longmont Kids Triathlon, CU Short Track, and the Pearl Street Mile.

The after party at the Stonehaven Inn was as good as the race with Castilian manning the grill.  If you ever have any questions about Peanuts trivia, ask Stuart.  

Ken, Tom, and Jon on the pre-ride

1st Place!

1st Place!

Ryn and Becky

The whole Alchemist gang at the RATS

Mr. Fish found the perfect jersey

Borat loves Alchemist! This fan hung an Alchemist cowbell around his neck and strutted his stuff all over downtown Fruita. We couldn't be more proud.

Ryan with the newest hot-off-the-press Alchemist recycled T-shirt

Claire and Nicole with the Green Guru boys demoing Salsa Bikes

Alchemist Wool making the rounds

The Alchemist Ladies cut loose in downtown Fruita.

Alchemist in the Netherlands

Kees sent this from the Netherlands.  He looked so good in the kit that they couldn’t resist featuring him on the poster.

Night shift is when I blog.   I also just sat down with Teresa and drew out the paper pattern for the baggy knickers.  You could argue the merit of making patterns at 2am, it’s how we get it done. We are starting from scratch.  The plan: Perfect fit, plenty of pockets, a little stretch, made in the USA.  The timeline is pushed back, but these will be off the hook.

The Canvas: 50% Transitional Organic Cotton/50% Recycled Polyester.  Three plastic bottles saved from landfills to create each shirt.

The Paint: Ice Blue Phthalate-Free, Eco Ink.

Available in heathered slate and heathered chocolate. TeamAlchemist.com

I PITY THE FUEL

Voodoo Fire was yesterday.  I sucked.  If you want to hear more about it, it will be in the next post.  But for now, enjoy this bike video.  You hipsters out there with your skinny jeans and tricked out fixies.  Next time you track stand the red light, just think, you ain’t got sh*t on this lady.  You have to watch it to believe it.  Yes, it’s so strangely incredible, you’ll have to watch it twice. No, Alchemist did NOT provide the wardrobe.

JHK can't hang with Jon Pulley

A new development with the Alchemist knickers.  We are working on gathering the fabric and materials for production in the U.S.A.  The first prototype was sweet, but the final product is going to be off the hook.   It will be the best short/knicker available.  No kidding.  More to come.

Would you ever . . . ?

uh, no.

And some exciting news.  We are deep into the details of bringing BLACKBOXX and other lines of production to the U S of A.  More on that to come.

On an unrelated note, here’s another gem from Paul.  As Drew commented, this could be straight out of Boulder.

Another kid race in Boulder

Schnyder Jersey

Schnyder makes gear cutting instruments. In other words, they make the precision components that makes precision machines.   Based out of Switzerland, they know a thing or two about making nice stuff.  Glad they chose Alchemist for their custom jerseys and kits.  Marc Schnyder is a ridiculous mountain biker (#5 in the world in the 90′s).  He can also carve some nice turns in powder.  Check out this video he sent recently.  It was shot in BC, Canada. Whistler and Revelstoke.  I’m told Swiss guys earn their turns. Um, is that Adele, Mark?